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First
by Athanatos
Jul 21st, 2007
07:26:37 AM
First
Rob should
by Athanatos
Jul 21st, 2007
07:32:45 AM
stick to music....I've found all his movies so far have been horrible. And for the love of Jeebus...enough with the remakes!!
Countdown to Danielle Harris tits...
by Dr Gregory House
Jul 21st, 2007
07:41:59 AM
This is really all I care about.
"He likes to kill dead animals."
by HeWhoCannotBeNamed
Jul 21st, 2007
07:50:47 AM
...
Laurie never knew he was her bro in original dumbass!
by jojo-pimp
Jul 21st, 2007
07:58:29 AM
If this guy is complaining that Laurie didnt find out about myers being her brother..then obviously he really doesnt remember that Laurie didnt know this until Part II. And as far as the movie ending abruptly...HELLO....didnt that kinda happen in the original as well? Get us a reviewer who at least remembers the original.
Halloween created slasher film cliches
by silentjay
Jul 21st, 2007
08:01:40 AM
This is the one thing this reviewer should understand. Even though today, killing teenagers having sex is commonplace and seems stereotypical of slasher films, it wasn't so when Halloween first appeared. Just thought this fact might lend some perspective to this reviewers view of the film.
Who Gives a crap
by WALKNDED
Jul 21st, 2007
08:10:54 AM
Zombie can never do a better job than Carpenter did with the Original.. But maybe it will be worth seeing.
Smashing through walls and slamming people about....
by TheFunkyEnigma
Jul 21st, 2007
08:12:31 AM
Sounds more like the fucking hulk than Myers
Actually the slamming makes sense...
by TheFunkyEnigma
Jul 21st, 2007
08:14:35 AM
Wasent Tyler Maine a wrestler? "FRIDAY NIGHT LOOMIS!!IN A TEEN SLASH MATCH BROTHER!! I WANT YOOOOOUUUU!!!!"
Is this the "demographic" they are aiming for?
by HeWhoCannotBeNamed
Jul 21st, 2007
08:14:52 AM
Those who find the original boring? This reviewer no doubt snores during Hitchcock films too.
Funny
by sonofbronson
Jul 21st, 2007
08:19:11 AM
I really hate to make fun of someone's choice of words but "he likes to kill DEAD animals" made me laugh. No offense to this guy.
Why do boneheads like this
by Seph_J
Jul 21st, 2007
08:24:38 AM
who have only seen the original HALLOWEEN once, and "honestly wasn't a huge fan. I even feel asleep during it..." even bother to write about the film? I mean its like someone who never saw a film before - wasn't aware that the projection of light and the manipulation of images can actuall form sequentially ordered, narrative based stories. Then asking them to sit in a dark room. Suddenly fire up the projector, crank up the sound system, and let them watch Uwe Boll's 'greatest' movies. I guarantee you, the guy would emerge from the cinema adamant that Mr Boll was a God, and his films are unutterably fantastic. Not a very good perpective on the film is it. Likewise.... I hope this guy gives the original film the time it deserves by re-watching it and staying awake. Jerkoff. What a useless review. It should be titled "not-commital review of a remake which I liked and disliked, by a person who has nothing to compare it to in the first place."
"I even feel asleep during it"
by CuervoJones
Jul 21st, 2007
08:26:46 AM
So i stopped reading your review, creep.
haha Rob Zombie your movie fucking sucks...
by wolvenom
Jul 21st, 2007
08:33:11 AM
i hope you fucking learn from your mistakes.
All I want to know is...
by HarrysLoveChild
Jul 21st, 2007
08:36:58 AM
When is Rob Zombie doing the first official SAW remake...hmmmmm...
all you fucking retard idiots who are bashing this guy
by wolvenom
Jul 21st, 2007
08:37:51 AM
for his review need to stfu. I prefer his review over someone who was a real hardcore fan of the original because we can get an unbiased fucking look at the film as it stands on its own without fucking comparing it to the original. Turns out this guy felt the movie sucked standing on its own two feet. I prefer that fucking review over some dumb reviewer going 'IM A FUCKING KILLER FAN OF THE ORIGINAL HALLOWEEN AND I HAVE TO SAY THIS MOVIE IS BALLS TO THE WALLS FUCKING SHITTY WHEN I COMPARE IT TO THE ORIGINAL' you dumbfuck aicners are reminding me of the fucking donner fans who loved superman returns crapfest because it emulated donner's crapfest so well.
so let me get this straight...
by HarrysLoveChild
Jul 21st, 2007
08:41:15 AM
you would rather have somebody who who hates apple pies come over to my Grandma Abernathy's house to sample some of her hot and fresh apple pie. That way, they will hate it regardless. That doesn't make a lick of sense. On a second note, I sure do love apple pie...and taffy...
"Feel asleep during Halloween" = moron. Irrelevant.
by JackPumpkinhead
Jul 21st, 2007
08:48:59 AM
Opinions do not matter. Only use = chucking stones. Should be locked in a potato cellar and fed turnips.
Do we really have to bash this guy?
by HarrysLoveChild
Jul 21st, 2007
08:50:09 AM
Isn't being born without a personality punishment enough??
what the hell is this guy talking about....
by RockLobster800
Jul 21st, 2007
08:50:18 AM
we haven't seen a slasher film on screen for a while? I do recall a remake of Black Christmas and When A Stranger Calls being out there recently...both balls. If he means a completely original slasher film-yeah, we aren't going to see one too soon with a Halloween remake are we? And didnt Michael Myers always burst through walls and shit like that?
General test screening question
by BankyFan
Jul 21st, 2007
08:59:17 AM
Why do they always announce how shitty it's going to look before they screen a good-looking film? I've been to 6 or 7 and in one instance of a "Shot Missing" title card (for the film THEY, which was a piece of shit anyway) everything else has looked good. It seems like gilding the lily, getting people to disclaimer their own thoughts with a "Well, it was an early print." But what do I know.
DerLanghaarige...
by MattFini
Jul 21st, 2007
09:05:31 AM
Of course that's the implied reason for Michael's insanity. Why in the hell do you think Zombie throws all of the stuff in there? He's even said numerous times that the first half of the film explores WHY Michael is driven to kill. I've read the script too...that's why that stuff is there.
kinda agree with wolvenom,
by ComputerGuy68
Jul 21st, 2007
09:24:09 AM
this review does give us a point of view of someone who is not a fan of the original (which is probably the demographics for this remake). Now just get a review form a hardcore fan of "Halloween Classic" and we can then be totally assured that this "Nu Halloween" is a piece of crap!

For the record, love Donner's Superman, hate Singer's Superman ;)

The thing about incomplete Talkback headlines is.......
by Missing Dink
Jul 21st, 2007
09:32:02 AM
....that the "writer" thinks his thoughts are so important to others that they will click on it with an urge to know what great words will follow "Rob Should...." or "All I Want to know is..." If I'm right then nobody is reading this. If I'm wrong then log out and get some sun.
Rob Zombie is...
by xXRedflyXx
Jul 21st, 2007
09:33:47 AM
the biggest joke ever! I am serious. Only his fans surpass him in douchebagness. There has never been a bigger joke of an individual and filmmaker in the entire world. At least Uwe Boll doesn't take himself as seriously as Zombie does.
yeah, but at the same time....
by RockLobster800
Jul 21st, 2007
09:35:19 AM
if we get someone who didnt fall asleep during the first Halloween, and who can give an even handed comparison it would be more useful. Not matter what demographic the film is aimed at Zombies knows fine rightly that the comparisons are going to be made, so while we get a review from the viewpoint of some people who have (cant believe there are teenagers out there who are like this) NOT seen the original, the more interesting reviews would be someone who can, without bias, compare the two. Someone who likes the original but wont uphold Carpenter as a God. I find this remake a shame myself because its going to prevent kids from finding the original Halloween the way I and others have-they'll just be given a bog standard run of the mill horror film, which seems to be what Zombies made. Then again the generation below me seem hopeless anyway-I met a 17 year old last night who didnt know who Han Solo was. Seriously. You dont have to be a nerd to know who he is-you just need to be ALIVE. AND I met a university student in Liverpool who didnt know who John Lennon or Bob Dylan were-disgraceful.
the thing about complaining about headlines is....
by RockLobster800
Jul 21st, 2007
09:41:44 AM
its a talkback. People are going to read them anyway. Thats how DISCUSSION is started....
This shit-bomb tanking could be the best thing
by TORTURE PWN1
Jul 21st, 2007
09:48:48 AM
to happen to the horror genre in a long time. If you think this movie's gonna be a piece of shit- PLEASE stay home. Send a message to Hollywood and LET THIS BE THE LAST REMAKE! zombie's fans alone can't make this thing a hit! Make this movie the next Titanic. The ship- not the movie.
I just find it funny...
by scottybtrue
Jul 21st, 2007
10:06:52 AM
that reading reviews and getting a complete "understanding" of a film before it's released is ridiculous. ghe film a chance and GO SEE IT. You know you will anyway, especially if your a fan of the subject material. This happens to every new movie with some kind of geek interest to it, and I guess it will never change...LOL
The problem with Rob Zombie is...
by Gozu
Jul 21st, 2007
10:11:40 AM
that his songs (especially off Hellbilly Deluxe) are more evocative and effective works of horror than his films. So when it was announced that he was making a horror film so fucked up Universal dropped it, that peaked everyone's interest. The first trailer for "House of 1,000 Corpses" looked cooler than hell. The film itself was a total mixed bag, at best. "Devil's Rejects" was better in some ways, but still, it's nothing compared to the song "Return of the Phantom Stranger." Kind of wish Rob Zombie would just go back to what he does best (music) and not remake classic films that simply don't need it.
I thought someone literally died at a screening.
by CountryBoy
Jul 21st, 2007
10:33:18 AM
And I just learned you can't post a subject line without posting a comment.
cbebop007 thanx4 telling us youre a retard in para1
by quantize
Jul 21st, 2007
10:39:40 AM
with no taste saved a lotta reading cheers.
This guy's opinion is irrelevant.
by El Scorcho
Jul 21st, 2007
10:54:29 AM
The original is 100% pure genius.
How does one kill dead animals?
by TORTURE PWN1
Jul 21st, 2007
10:56:40 AM
According to this guys review, it's possible.
Don't rip the guy
by zombiefan
Jul 21st, 2007
11:06:55 AM
First off, I am a fan of zombie movies, not Rob Zombie. It was refreshing to see an opinion of a guy who is not a Rob Zombie or Halloween fanboy, and just went to see a movie. Sure he isn't the best writer, but I understand what he was trying to get across.
PADDING
by thegreatwhatzit
Jul 21st, 2007
11:10:02 AM
Just like THE BIRDS, the original HALLOWEEN offered no explanation for the titular character's violent behavior. Zombie, however, had padded his remake with pseudo-Freudian crap about an abused Michael (an entire half hour, partially a showcase for his wife's braying and futile attempts at acting). Carpenter wrapped-up Michael's juvenie psychosis in a simple POV shot and subsequently turned the adult into an icon and and an enigma. Zombie prefers quantity ("Six more bodies at the end!") over quality. And his films suck (sure, use Ebert as your defense but I still think THE DEVIL'S REJECTS is a mess).
The reviewer...
by chi3fhog
Jul 21st, 2007
11:15:20 AM
comes off as a 13 year old. I mean to actually admit on AICN that you are not a fan of the original and, furthermore, fell asleep? He is just asking to be ridiculed.
Where was this screening?
by BitterMan23
Jul 21st, 2007
11:20:29 AM
This guy doesn't seem to know his ass from his elbow, was there even another test or is he just making a review up based on other reviews?
DEVIL'S RETARDS is a pile of shit with Freebird on top.
by TORTURE PWN1
Jul 21st, 2007
11:22:16 AM
It's like zombie figured no one could hate it if he played one of the greatest songs ever at the end. I seriously doubt that movie would get even 1/4 of the praise it gets had it not been for the "Super Sounds of the 70s"/Freedom Rock ("Well, TURN IT UP,man!") sound track. The music did all the work in that movie while zombie just cut & pasted a greatest hits of the horror genre mix movie.
"He likes to kill dead animals." new catch phrase! !!
by ComputerGuy68
Jul 21st, 2007
11:27:12 AM
Or I fell asleep watching the old "Halloween"!
Or "I fell asleep killing dead animals on Halloween."
by TORTURE PWN1
Jul 21st, 2007
11:31:55 AM
This guy's a "tits-hatter (sic)-in-the-closet". Mammaries and Gerber knows what I mean.
And yeah, the brother concept was introduced in II
by BitterMan23
Jul 21st, 2007
11:32:14 AM
Giving all the more proof that for all his posturing about making his 'own' version of Halloween, he's copying as much as he can, even (bad) elements from the sequels. A big part of why a lot of people who saw the original (after they saw some sequels) arent that impressed is because they go in 'knowing' Laurie is his sister, which kills like 90% of the creepiness of that movie.
Almost up there with "CHEETS ON HIS WIFE"
by ComputerGuy68
Jul 21st, 2007
11:32:30 AM
Or "Bombs in his ribcage"
All your kill dead animals are belong to us!!!
by ComputerGuy68
Jul 21st, 2007
11:33:23 AM
.
Not knowing what made Myers kill ...
by TORTURE PWN1
Jul 21st, 2007
11:35:04 AM
isn't just what made Myers kill isn't just what made Myers scary...It's what made him COOL.
This guy is a tool. He never even saw the first one?
by Quake II
Jul 21st, 2007
11:35:27 AM
I've only seen the original "Halloween" once and honestly wasn't a huge fan. I even feel asleep during it"...Ok then, thanks for admitting you're a douche with A.D.D. All credibility goes out the window on this review.
Did he just...
by eman_1293
Jul 21st, 2007
11:36:34 AM
(1) Use the words "fan" and "Rob Zombie" in the same sentence? (2) Say he fell asleep during the original? (OK, I may not be a hardcore fan but I certainly did not fall asleep!) (3) Say Michael likes to "kill DEAD animals"!? I don't mean to bash the guy, but seriously, this is like asking Paris Hilton to write a book review!
Thought this guy was a plant at first glance
by BenBraddock
Jul 21st, 2007
11:50:00 AM
but then the list of "dislikes" proved to be pretty long. Think I'll be giving this a miss. I'd rather see a new Carpenter than a retread of Halloween anyway..
Carpenter´s Halloween is good cinema
by CuervoJones
Jul 21st, 2007
12:01:59 PM
If this guy can´t see that, he does know nothing about this art, so his opinion is irrelevant.
Zombie should direct for the Sci-Fi Channel
by thegreatwhatzit
Jul 21st, 2007
12:20:51 PM
Anyone see SUPERGATOR? Sublimely awful with absolutely no pretense of redemption. Everytime it broached unconstrained stupidity, it would really make an attempt to plunge to a new sublevel and become even worse. During an entire hour, a couple of silicone-pumped babes--clad in Band-Aid bikinis--would jiggle across swampland to elude the worst CGI confection since the advent of video. And I couldn't believe Kelly McGillis was cast in this thing (her name wasn't even hyped in the promos); we all age but McGillis looked like my great grandmother (talk about desperation. She's devoured by the gator while trying to recue a bimbo). I'd prefer a 2nd viewing of SUPERGATOR (which aspires for Worst Movie status) to the HALLOWEEN remake (Zombie ostrasizing anyone critical of his script or trailer--including AIC).
Mr. Zombie is taking requests...
by TheBloop
Jul 21st, 2007
12:31:19 PM
For which horror film he should remake next. I vote for "Swim Fan"..
Just before I fell asleep in the original Halloween...
by Seph_J
Jul 21st, 2007
12:39:49 PM
I looked over and saw Kurt Russell laughing to himself whilst trying to kill dead animals.
I am confused.....
by Seph_J
Jul 21st, 2007
12:43:06 PM
"I've only seen the original "Halloween" once and honestly wasn't a huge fan. I even feel asleep during it....[however] overall I felt the [new] film brought nothing new to the "horror" film genre and that I had seen all this stuff before."

eh? So... err... WHERE did you see it all before?

...Incomplete Headline...
by HarrysLoveChild
Jul 21st, 2007
12:55:07 PM
I have developed a rash....it burns...
Wolvenom, who needs to simmer the fuck down?
by TheRealRatigan
Jul 21st, 2007
12:59:17 PM
You Talk Back flaming rabid ferret. Take you meds, will you?
Swim Fan?
by HarrysLoveChild
Jul 21st, 2007
12:59:20 PM
Are you kidding me? Why would Zombie remake that piece of garbage...it is already a piece a of garbage. He should remake an iconic piece of americana, something that should never be tampered with. I vote Rainbow Bright: and the Star Stealer. Yes! I can see it now.
So Zombie is using the "sister" angle?
by PushTheButton
Jul 21st, 2007
01:06:39 PM
This movie is dead to me. Making Laurie a long lost sister in H2 killed the entire series by pigeon-holing the writing into this "family bloodline" shit that isn't interesting. When will people learn that horror doesn't work when it's wrapped up in a neat little package? When you explain things in horror films, it creates plot holes, inconsistencies, and predictability.
epevensie
by epevensie
Jul 21st, 2007
01:12:39 PM
I detest Rob Zombie. I thought "House of 1000 Corpses" was boring garbage. "The Devil's Rejects," however, was amazingly compelling.
Can't wait til September 7th
by BitterMan23
Jul 21st, 2007
01:14:21 PM
Hatchet comes out and everyone realizes how to properly make a violent slasher movie, Zombie's movie fades away from everyone's memory except his die hard fans, and Dimension looks for another property to fuck with.
Hatchet
by HeWhoCannotBeNamed
Jul 21st, 2007
01:28:50 PM
Hope it's done well i.e. hope it doesn't suck. I am very excited about that one. Potential to be awesome...
Hatchet IS great
by BitterMan23
Jul 21st, 2007
01:37:12 PM
I saw it last year. It's paced like the original Halloween (in that it develops the characters for a while rather than wall to wall kills) and then once the killing starts at the halfway point, its like being in 1982 all over again. Just nonstop fun. Unlike a lot of these other attempts at a 'throwback' to the slashers of the early 80s (such as Dark Ride), Adam Green understood perfectly well that first and foremost, the film needs to have one simple thing: charm. You can throw all the tits and drugs and gore all you want, but you'll never make a film people give a shit about if you don't provide the same sense of charm those other films had. Green nailed that aspect, and in turn, made a TRUE homage to the films a lot of us grew up on. I honestly can't see any horror fan disliking this one.
He likes The Little Pony
by Mako
Jul 21st, 2007
02:04:02 PM
What the reviewer failed to mention was that he loves "The Little Pony" movie. Watches it twice a week. This guys seems to have no love for horror movies, nor does he sound like he care to know anything about them. Wrong target audience. Hollywood hires these companies millions to do all this research... and it still really amounts to nothing in the end.
This review(er) ascends to new levels of irrelevence...
by Long Tooth
Jul 21st, 2007
02:06:58 PM
Hi, I don't like chocolate cake. Actually, chocolate cake makes me vomit...which is why I'm here to review the latest chocolate cake by Betty Crocker. W T F ?!?!?
Irrelevance...
by Long Tooth
Jul 21st, 2007
02:08:29 PM
Spellcheck hindsight. *sigh*
Maybe I Can Clear Up Some Things...
by cbebop007
Jul 21st, 2007
02:22:41 PM
In case you can't tell, I wrote this review. Lemme try and clarify some things: Yes, I DID fall asleep during Halloween, but I still saw what I missed and finished it. It's a good movie, not a masterpiece. And I do like horror movies. I realize saying "Halloween" isn't the best thing since the blowjob is sacrilege to some, but I was also a victim of seeing the film long after it was released, where I had already seen the same stuff in other films and been desensitized by more recent flicks. That's why I wrote this from an average movie fan, not a rabid "Halloween" freak...cause that's what I am. And yes, I deserve all the bashing for the criminally poor writing of "kill dead animals." No question there. Of course, posting this may be a huge mistake in its own right...
WTF?
by McClane_Corleone
Jul 21st, 2007
02:32:06 PM
Did a twelve year old write this review? Oh no, Rob Zombie wrote this review.
I'm torn...
by Raphman
Jul 21st, 2007
02:35:15 PM
Should I be excited for this movie, or should I loathe it. WWHKD?
???
by EdRyder
Jul 21st, 2007
02:38:00 PM
What Would Harvey Keitel Do?
cbebop007
by The Dum Guy
Jul 21st, 2007
02:52:47 PM
Everyone is entitled to their opinions, but coming from someone who hasn't seen or invested alot of time in the Halloween franchise the review will be moot to alot of people.

That being said, everyone has their own point of view, and I would like to know how you rate this against the recent horror movies like Saw, Hills Have Eyes, Haute Tension, etc.?
I stopped reading here.
by lost.rules
Jul 21st, 2007
02:56:49 PM
I've only seen the original "Halloween" once and honestly wasn't a huge fan.
You are not qualified to review this film...
by smackfu
Jul 21st, 2007
03:11:46 PM
Seriously. No one gives a rats ass what someone who has only seen half of Halloween once in their life thinks of the remake. We want to hear what someone who is a *fan* of the original thinks of it, because that person would represent the demographic in question. Having you review this film is as irrelevant as having your grandmother give you here review of Pulp Fiction. If your perspective doesn't relate in any way to that of the people you are reviewing for, your review is completely irrelevant. And it's something of a trend on this website, everytime there is a controversial remake afoot, the first, most anticipated review is always some douchebag who starts out with 'now I've never seen the original' or 'wasn't a fan of the original'.
"I wrote this from an average movie fan"
by smackfu
Jul 21st, 2007
03:18:32 PM
Newsflash: The average movie fan *has* seen the original Halloween movie and considers it a horror classic. It's a fact, take a poll. This isn't some obscure art film, it's 1/3rd of the holy trinity of horror films for the past 2 decades: Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers.
This reviewer is a dumbshit.
by oceanic86
Jul 21st, 2007
03:35:39 PM
I had to be redundant by restating what everyone else has already said, but let it be known:

This reviewer asserted he has no credibility before even getting to his review. Why the fuck was this even posted?

RE: The Dum Guy
by cbebop007
Jul 21st, 2007
03:46:07 PM
The only film of those kind that I enjoyed more was the original "Saw". The first "Hills Have Eyes" remake would be on the same level as this, as would be the second "Saw". "High Tension" and "Saw III" I enjoyed less then this Halloween remake. And I can barely stand the "Hostel" movies. The original "Friday the 13th" was also just OK for me...again, I'd credit that more to the fact I'm a 19 year old who saw it for the first time on DVD a few years ago, not when it first came out on the big screen. I think I'm just digging myself a bigger hole...it's obvious my opinion of "horror" movies and the opinions of most AICN horror fans are wildly different. And like I said, everyone else in the testing group liked it more than me, most of them liking it quite a bit. So yeah, my review is probably more for people like me than those who actually care about "Halloween" enough to comment on it. And, face it guys, people like me and unlike you *do* exist, as horrific as that may seem to you.
I'm still seeing this Mori
by Mike_D
Jul 21st, 2007
04:00:12 PM
No matter how many negative/luke warm reviews you chose to post!!
Taxi Driver remake review....
by Quake II
Jul 21st, 2007
04:07:16 PM
I honestly didn't like the original. I thought the lead actor was lousy and the film was boring. I fell asleep during it.
Citizen Kane remake review.....
by Quake II
Jul 21st, 2007
04:09:53 PM
I didn't like the original because it was in black and white and boring. I fell asleep twice. This new color musical version kicks all sorts of ass and casting Freddie Prinze Jr in the lead role was genius! Uwe Boll really hit it out of the park this time.
Rob Zombie is a...
by down75
Jul 21st, 2007
04:19:11 PM
huge cult film fan and thats exactly what hes making. So we may not like what he's doing and we may not "get it" now but 20-30 years from now your kids will be talking about 1k Corpses. Infact every Zombie film I have ever watched made me respect him more as a fan of film rather then an actual film maker.
Devil's Rejects dot dot dot
by Halfbreedqueen
Jul 21st, 2007
04:27:17 PM
was boring. Really. It was very boring. The only semi cool thing about this is that one shot from the trailer with the house and then it zooms up. But even that, better idea than execution. Get it... execution.
and, since Halloween
by Halfbreedqueen
Jul 21st, 2007
04:28:16 PM
and, since Halloween invented a lot of the cliches, that means if ur remaking it you better bring something new to the table. otherwise, what's the fucking point? in the trailer it even says "re-invents a legend." as in ADDING SOMETHING DIFFERENT, not just repeating the same cliches that were once original but now aren't.
subject line
by Halfbreedqueen
Jul 21st, 2007
04:30:01 PM
to the idiot complaining about subject lines, if you leave it blank it puts the beginning of your post. so shut the fuck up and go find something else to complain about. really, you need some sunshine my boy. or is it... SUNSHIEN?
Whoa, I feel bad for cbebop007...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 21st, 2007
04:55:41 PM
It's like when I said Cronenberg's Crash was boring on one of the Viggo's Balls TBs... I swear for a movie that has so much female nudity, I can't fathom why I couldn't finish even watching it, maybe the premise itself was too out there for me. But, I just about love everything else Cronenberg has done, and while Zombie is nowhere near the genius of Cronenberg, I would say his fan base is similar, not so much being the same, but more of a niche kinda thing.
Why should it matter if cbebob007 is a fan?
by bottleimp
Jul 21st, 2007
05:04:12 PM
Shouldn't the most important thing be for this movie to be appreciated on its own merit, and succeed or fail based on its own strengths or flaws? I don't understand why so many of you talkbackers are riding the reviewer's ass for not being a fan of the original "Halloween"-- everyone's entitled to their opinion. And frankly, if the movie came off as half-assed and cliched to someone who WASN'T comparing it to the original, ten bucks says it's going to seem that much worse when you hold it up against Carpenter's film. Stop being such assholes-- the reviewer's seen the movie; you haven't. Who's more qualified to present an opinion?
cbebop007 the part you are not getting
by smackfu
Jul 21st, 2007
05:07:20 PM
is that if you had actually asked those other people who liked it if they ever saw and liked the original, 99% of them probably would have said 'yes'. You see, I dispise westerns as a genre, but I've sure as shit seen the Good the Bad and the Ugly about a hundred times and I love it. It doesn't matter if you like horror films as a genre or not, it's just an absolute fucking fact that 99.99% of film buffs consider Halloween a classic horror film that gave birth to the slasher genre AND rejuvenated the concept of serialized horror movies where the 'monster' was the star of the film.
RE: smackfu
by cbebop007
Jul 21st, 2007
05:13:11 PM
I'm certainly not bashing "Halloween," hating people because they like the original or not recognizing the status it holds as the granddaddy of slasher flicks. All I mean is, for me, when I saw it, it did not blow me away. That's the perspective I'm coming from when I saw the remake and writing the review. Obviously it's going to be a very different situation for countless others.
and registering my opinion...
by bottleimp
Jul 21st, 2007
05:15:13 PM
Rob Zombie is a terrible filmmaker. "House of 1000 Corpses" was a mess of a movie that didn't really seem to have a clear idea of what it was trying to be, and I turned off "The Devil's Rejects" after wasting 30 minutes of my life watching bad acting with little plot. I probably will see this remake (on DVD), but only because Malcolm McDowell is in it.
hes called rob zombie
by misnomer
Jul 21st, 2007
05:25:15 PM
who cares what someone called rob zombie has to say about anything? ive never heard his music but I bet its something like CHUNG CHUNG CHUNG CHUNG RRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAARAF DUH DUH DUH FUCKERS! etc.
SWIM FAN REMAKE BY ROB ZOMBIE!!
by classyfredblassy
Jul 21st, 2007
05:26:31 PM
That is a great idea!! After that, I hope Zombie can do a remake of "Valentine" and a remake of the remake of "When a stranger calls",
It's Official... FUCK THIS MOVIE!
by VinnyMac666
Jul 21st, 2007
05:41:18 PM
Bah. I'm so tired of crap like this. Halloween worked because of a few reasons 1) We don't ever get a real back story or understanding of MM. It keeps him ambiguous and we fear what we can't understand. 2) Yeah the killings were freaky, but nothing is as scary as the moments when you don't know where he is or what's happening. Suspense drove Halloween NOT Rob Zombie's style gore. 3) That spooky ass music! If I snuck into your home tonight and started playing that at 3 AM you would poo yourself. 4) You were there with Jamie Lee Curtis the whole time. We wanted to see her live and we cared for her. Now it sounds to me that this remake has absolutely none of these elements. Why desecrate a masterpiece?! I don't understand... this film should be called Halloween 2007, Halloween The Beginning or something equally retarded to help us identify it as a heaping, steaming pile and not confuse it with the brilliant film of old. If I want heavy metal and flashy colors and shaky cam with a HUGE helping of people suffering... I'll go see one of the other dime-a-dozen horror flicks that comes out each month (and I won't be doing that). I'm officially declaring it here: FUCK THIS MOVIE!
"typical high school slut friends"
by dr.bulber
Jul 21st, 2007
05:57:24 PM
oh man high school is so gona rock!
cebop you are the definition
by McClane_Corleone
Jul 21st, 2007
07:07:43 PM
cebop you are the definition of a mark ass bitch.
I'm not a fan of the original.
by rev_skarekroe
Jul 21st, 2007
07:34:25 PM
I think it's highly overrated.

There. I said it.

Rob Zombie is NOT making cult films...
by quantize
Jul 21st, 2007
07:35:34 PM
he WISHES he was making them...even classic cult films have some plausible script, direction, motivation and style. Everything Zombie does is just a tragic wannabe tribute with no meat on the bone. He's no Carpenter, hes just 'Goth Fan of Carpenter'...that doesnt make him a film director either..
"He likes to kill dead animals." - That Time Waster!
by Read and Shut Up
Jul 21st, 2007
07:57:06 PM
What an Alexander.
He'll burst through a wall to chase you!
by TheBladehelm
Jul 21st, 2007
08:26:15 PM
That's a signature Jason Vorhees move, Zombie, you fucking hack! I used to like you because you put Ken Foree and Steve Railsback in your movie. But really? Leave the balsa wood smashing to Kane Hodder. And you want to talk demographics? If Zombie had any balls he'd make it for us, the fans of the original, and he'd say, "Fuck you if you don't like it!"
And it does matter if cbebop007 is a fan.
by TheBladehelm
Jul 21st, 2007
08:32:25 PM
This is a FAN WEBSITE run and visited by self proclaimed fanboys. Who gives a shit what some outsider thinks? We want to know what other fans thought of it. Not some moron who can't sit through a classic horror movie.
Not everyone digs slasher flicks
by JimboTHC
Jul 21st, 2007
08:57:59 PM
ya know? It's not everyones genre and this guy got in on a test screening and sent the info in. Lighten up.
Mansquito > Super Gator
by TheBloop
Jul 21st, 2007
09:00:22 PM
Nothing , and I mean nothing, comes close to the SciFi Channel's "Mansquito". 30 years from now, we will be watching Quint's documentary on that film called "the bug still bites". Zombie, don't touch that, but you have my permission to redo "SnakeHead Terror" or "Ticks" if you want.
I must take severe exception
by ImFixingtoDie
Jul 21st, 2007
09:00:38 PM
I must take severe exception to anyone who reviews a film that Malcolm McDowell is in without mentioning his performance. I hope that is not an indication of his quality as Loomis.
if you dont like the original, you dont GET horror
by quantize
Jul 21st, 2007
10:18:57 PM
full stop. its not about whether he's a FAN or NOT, he immediately tells us his attention span is gnat small and he knows nothing about quality genre movies. THAT's why this 'review' is nothing more than dribble on the chin of an idiot.
Maybe We'll Get A Review From An Actual Fan
by ChiTownsBest
Jul 21st, 2007
10:59:35 PM
What kind of review was that? The reviewer admitted to not even enjoying the original movie. Remakes should stand on their own, but we all know what we're looking for here. We're looking to recapture the feeling we had when watching the original. Those that haven't seen the original are looking for a good horror movie. This review only told me what I already knew. What about telling us whether there is suspense in the movie? What about telling us if the original music is used effectively? Will we want to see more of this version of Michael or will we wish we could go back into a time machine to the 70's again? If you do not like the original you cannot be a horror fan. Even the people I know who marginally enjoy the first one understand why it's a classic.
You guys really need to lay off cbebop007
by TVguy4566
Jul 21st, 2007
11:04:56 PM
He gave his opinion. He saw an advanced screening and he gave his review just like the hundreds of other people who have submitted reviews to this site from advanced screenings. I feel sorry for him that he didn't see what made the original "Halloween" so special. But I guess when you are 19 and not in your late 20's or early 30's like I suspect a large number of people on this site are, you are exposed to the cheap ripoffs before you see the original classic. Instead of ground breaking, it is been there, done that. It doesn't mean he doesn't have a right to give his opinion. I'm sure there are a segment of readers on this site who do come from where he is coming from.
What is Zombie's fascination with the masks?
by TVguy4566
Jul 21st, 2007
11:08:09 PM
I saw that in the preview and read it in reviews of the script. Why does Zombie have Michael obsessed with masks and expressing his feelings through masks? Carpenter never intended any significance about the mask other than to make Michael a faceless terror. He didn't want Michael to have some weird mask fetish. There is a huge amount Zombie's "vision" of this movie that I don't particularly like, but this aspect is just bizarre.
I Wish...
by Wrath4771
Jul 21st, 2007
11:08:26 PM
That not only would Rob Zombie go back to music, but that he'd reform White Zombie.........I also wish Natalie Portman would drop the restraining order, but what's a guy gonna do?
My Granny loves "Pulp Fiction"
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 21st, 2007
11:15:02 PM
and "Citizen Kane" is one of the most boring works of art I have ever encountered -- even though its being well made cannot be denied. I'll use Rosebud for firewood you bastards. On to this review... The guy seems friendly enough, so I won't rip him a new one. I give him props for posting at this half-baked site against the cougars. Stand strong little man, stand strong.
Rob Zombie remakes Star Wars
by TVguy4566
Jul 21st, 2007
11:20:56 PM
It is only a matter of time before he does it. He will get Sid Haig to play Obi Wan Kenobi in full clown make up. His talentless wife will play Princess Leia who happens to moonlight as a space stripper on the side. Darth Vader will be played by Triple H of the WWE with his long hair coming out of his helmet. Vader's voice will now done by Clint Howard in a bit of stunt casting. Danny Trejo will play Chewbacca. He will replace John William's soundtrack with KTel's "Southern Fried Rock".
TVguy4566 :Here's The Reason
by ChiTownsBest
Jul 21st, 2007
11:27:57 PM
I'm in my early 30's and the problem has nothing to do with the reviewers age. It has to do with a completely blase' attitude towards horror in general. Horror needs to be reviewed by someone who appreciates what horror is. Mainstream critics mainly hate horror movies because they are repetitive by nature. That was one of my big problems with this review. Is it big news that Michael Myers kill repetitively? Not really . What we want to know is if the suspense level is there. If you are that jaded then you shouldn't even review a movie like this.
This guy claims to have only seen the original...
by hallowhitch31
Jul 21st, 2007
11:37:01 PM
Yet, isn't it the sequel in which we find out there was any connection between Lorie Strode and Michael Myers? My prognosis: douche-bag.
ChiTownsBest
by TVguy4566
Jul 21st, 2007
11:42:30 PM
The thing is most people on this board only want to hear from people who agree with them that "Halloween" is the gold standard for horror. I think Halloween is the gold standard for horror and I already know what a review from someone like me is going to be about this movie already based on most of the early review already. It has been fairly established in virtually every review that Zombie decided to keep the suspense level to bare minimum. I don't know if a non-horror fan is going to bring less to the table in that standpoint. I don't think mainstream critics hate horror movies because they are neccessarily repetitive. I think they hate many horror movies because they have cookie cutter characters who are less characters than just tools to set up the next killing. They also typically don't like movies that are devoid of any suspense and just up the killings. They want some story, character development, and a little suspense with their killing. That is why many of them like horror movies like Halloween, Scream, and the first Nightmare on Elm Street. From what I read, the average horror fan over 25 probably wouldn't like this movie anyway. The reviewer is actually demograhic that is going to like this movie.
RE: ???
by Raphman
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:14:07 AM
Close, What Would Harry Knowles Dp?
RE: ImFixingToDie, McDowell as Loomis *SPOILERS*
by cbebop007
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:28:27 AM
Sorry about no mention of McDowell. As Loomis, he certainly isn't terrible, but there's really not much to mention. *SPOILERS* He first meets Myers as a kid in the principal's office, then he "treats" him after he kills his step-dad, older sister and her boyfriend in the sanitarium, and then he tries to find him after he escapes. As much as I like McDowell, I have to say he doesn't seem to bring much to the film, though that could easily be attributed to not being given anything interesting to do. And, *MORE SPOILERS*, the end of his story thread is pretty weak and, in what I know for sure is a departure from the original, something these "Halloween" fans may strongly detest.
Newsflash to some: This guy IS who they aimed this at
by Big Dumb Ape
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:30:16 AM
Not to defend Cbebop007 or his review, but I think some people need to calm down a bit. Then again, we're in an AICN Talkback where it's a bunch of geeks getting all fired up about a remake of a true genre classic, so I guess we should expect some heat to erupt here and there. But seriously, some of you need to remember something pretty damn important here, something that the MOVIE COMPANY is counting on to a very, very large degree: namely, Cbebob007 really IS representative of the target audience they're going for and "who" they expect to see this thing.

In case you haven't done your math lately, Carpenter's version came out in 1978. Think about that for a second -- that's a whopping 29 YEARS ago. It's been nearly THREE DECADES since Carpenter's version came out, which means that a complete and absolute 100% of today's teenage audience -- you know, the ticket buyers and core demographic that the studio is aiming this thing at -- WEREN'T EVEN BORN when Carpenter's version -- or for that matter some of its sequels -- were around.

So when Cbebop007 admits (as he did in a post above) that he's (1) only 19, and that (2) he only caught Carpenter's version on DVD after the fact, you need to realize that's pretty much how 90-plus percent of the audience who will see Zombie's remake ever did experience the original. They either watched it on DVD (where at least it was uncut) OR, even worse, they simply caught it one night on something like USA or TNT, where it was not only edited for TV, but you also lost any real sense of the original's pacing and intensity since its now being constantly interrupted by commercial breaks.

So on the one hand, I can appreciate a lot of people here being true horror fans and who recognize Carpenter's version for the classic it is, for its place in film history AND I can also appreciate those around here who are older (like myself) who can say they actually had the fun of seeing Carpenter's version in the theater, where you experienced it the way it was meant to be seen -- with alot of people around you jumping and screaming.

But to both those ends, Cbebop007 made another good point: so much of what made Carpenter's version so great and groudbreaking for its time are "tricks of the trade" that have since become common place -- so much so that if you're a younger teen today who is looking back on Carpenter's version, you don't really give it the credit its due. Because so much of what it achieved back then has been copied and diluted so many times over, in so many other things that you've seen since.

So with all that in mind, Cbebop007 was right to say he would just tackle the review as someone who wasn't a fan of the original and who is just looking at it more as a general movie fan. Because in the end, that's exactly who the studio is banking on here -- namely today's teens and today's generation of moviegoers. Sure, they're counting on some people coming out because of the infamous Halloween or Michael Myers name (insert small trademark here) as an easy money-making marketing tool. But aside from that, this is just one of those things -- particularly since this film will reset the clock to Day One -- where some of us just have to say "Ok, it's THIS generation's version of Halloween, and not mine. My version of Michael Myers is safely stored on my DVD shelf. Meanwhile, today's teens can adopt this for all their own"...and leave it at that.

Of course, that brings up the whole separate argument of WHY did they feel they needed to remake such a classic at all or why couldn't Zombie just make up his own "new" character to focus a film on (if he was so interested in making a slasher movie), but as I said, that's a whole other Talkback and debate on how Hollywood really HAS become creatively bankrupt...

RE: TVguy4566, Myers' Masks
by cbebop007
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:31:44 AM
There are indeed a lot of masks in the film. As a kid, Myers wears a bunch of them and likes to make them. We later see that his whole sanitarium room is covered in different ones he's created, though we barely see them. It's probably not what you want, because it again seems to be Zombie trying to explain Myers and give him a complex, humanistic side.
Questions?
by cbebop007
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:33:46 AM
If anyone has specific questions about the film, I'd be welcomed to answer them. That's really my main intention, at least at this point...to provide information about the film to those who are interested. Obviously most don't value my point of view as far as quality goes, which is fine, so perhaps I can be a better resource this way, and you can make your own judgments. Of course, final judgment should be held for when you actually see the movie... Any questions, and I'll answer them.
The Original Halloween
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:44:53 AM
Sorry to say it, but the OG Halloween was boring to me, as well ... and that doesn't mean I loved Hills Have Eyes 2 or anything. And it doesn't mean I don't "get" horror, as one guy said, because I loved Kubrick's The Shining, and I would think that's pretty classic horror.

Or maybe it's not, and we should go all the way back to the Cabinet of Dr. Caligari or something ...

Anywho ... there are a lot of fired up fans in here, but come on folks. Read the review. Get something out of it or don't ... whatever. Just don't start putting the blinders on after the first sentence.

It seems like that's what some people did. So what if this guy wasn't around when Carpenter stuck his penis into the horror vagina 30 years ago and shot a big, creamy load with a mask on it straight into the ovum - does him being able to reference this remake to the original invalidate his opinion of the film? If that was the case, then every film review out there would need to give a history lesson before actually starting to entertain someone with their writing. That's nice to see 10% of the time, when you might actually give a shit about the history of a film, or the people behind it.

John Carpenter? All I care about is that he directed Kurt Russell in Big Trouble in Little China, one of the best films in the universe.

Cbebop007 - I'm surprised you didn't fall asleep in this sure-to-be shitfestival. Good Job!!
Secondly.
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:48:02 AM
I just wanted to add that I would rather see Warwick Davis fuck my mom than pay money to go see Halloween Creep 2000.

Zombie - why couldn't you have picked a good movie to remake? Something that fits your sensibilities better ... like Redneck Zombies.
Nice job ye olde shiza
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:56:51 AM
now... go have momma breastfeed you goodnight. Your shift at Burger King starts at 10. Zombie couldn't very well remake "Redneck Zombies." Floyd Pirahna wouldn't allow it.
Kubrick's "The Shining"
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:59:28 AM
A nightmare to anyone who read the book first. They usually hate the film. I enjoy it -- didn't read the book.
My mom ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:06:18 AM
Is a redneck zombie, and she doesn't have anymore breasts. Otherwise, I would feed on them. Suck them dry.

This is why it was all the more disconcerting to think of well little Warwick fucking her rotting corpse.

And if you didn't read the book, how do you know it was a nightmare for other folks. I've done both. Film seemed like an improvement to me.
Though Kubrick did manage to translate the fact that ..
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:08:36 AM
Stephen King is completely ignorant to black folks. That's why every black person in his stories is a caricature, almost. I guess since he admitted to that flaw, it's okay. Or maybe it's not.

Now back to my mother's rotting corpse. DO you want to fuck her Spongebob? Do you?
In a way this whole situation is kind of sad.
by ewokstew
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:13:07 AM
I remember reading a review not too long ago from guy in his early twenties who thought Ridley Scott's ALIEN was literally one of the lamest films he had ever seen. And, like this reviewer, fell asleep during it. He then went on to cite more current sci-fi movies that he thought were far superior. I can't remember his examples but I'm fairly sure "Armageddon' was among them.
and as for Stephen King
by ewokstew
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:16:49 AM
you're right. When I use to read him all I could think was..has this guy actually even spent anytime around black people?
I wish Michael Myers next adventure ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:22:44 AM
Would be in space. So he could fight with the alien until he died from oxygen deprivation. And as a bonus feature on the DVD, they could digitally add in Warwick Davis ... fucking HIS corpse.

I wish something excited me about Rob Zombie's Halloween, but it looks stupid, and I can't remember if I'm reading AICN or if I'm reading Entertainment Weekly's website.

I mean ... it looks like AICN. But we keep hearing all of this information about the new "reimagining" of a stupid knife-action, chop-socky, mask-faced mongoloyd, and I can't help but feel like Owen Gleiberman has something to do with this.
King
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:27:54 AM
Heh ... he brought up the racial breakdown of Bangor, Maine in an interview, I believe. It generally supports his claim that he would have no way to know what black people sound like or act like. I think it was less than 1% African-American.

I don't know if that's a viable excuse (why even put a black guy in your story?), but ohsa well, I still slam through his books. Good reads. Better than Crichton. Don't know if that says much.
Alright, cbebop007, I got the only real question I want
by The Dum Guy
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:36:09 AM
...to know and that is... Does Myers end up dead at the end like in the original script?

That is honestly, the only deal breaker for this film as far as I'm concerned. I understand if you don't reply, but when I first learned of Myers demise, it was really the first time that I truly didn't like the idea of this picture.
The Thing with Myers...
by Redfive!
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:41:40 AM
Is that hes more of a Phantom killer where he just apprears, kills you non violently looks at you then leaves.He doesnt slam you into a wall,thats Jason Vorhees.
Jason Voorhees never slammed people around until...
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:53:19 AM
that windbag Kane Hodder and those awful later sequels took over the series.
Jason X Squared
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:53:50 AM
I agree, even though I didn't dig any of the Halloweens (especially not part III, or does that even need to be said?). Myers being turned into the Undertaker doesn't make him anymore menacing.

HULK SMASHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!

All I want to know is whether or not Zombie enlisted Six Feet Under to work on the soundtrack. Myers' theme song - "Don't need no woman to hold me; I only want my knife."
SpongeBobs Pina Colada
by Mattyboy122
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:04:24 AM
Citizen Kane is boring? Did you forget to take your ritalin before checking it out? Jesus H. Christ. Citizen Kane is perfection. People who call Citizen Kane boring are either retarded, needlessly contrarian, or too busy looking for the art in the film (of which there is plenty) to enjoy it. At any rate, this movie looks like a piece of shit and the original Halloween is fantastic.
RE: The Dum Guy *SPOILERS*
by cbebop007
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:13:40 AM
I don't want to describe the ending in detail... Suffice it to say that the ending I saw was abrupt, albeit ambiguous. If you really want more detail, email me. cbebop007@yahoo.com Oh jesusfuckingchrist did I just put my email in an AICN talkback?
Hoo Hoo ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:18:10 AM
You messed up now by associating your email address with AICN. Now you're never going to stop getting spam mail from penis enhancement services!
Mattyboy, Citizen Kane is as dull as your sex life
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:51:16 AM
and as boring as your inept use of sarcasm.
Redfist?
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:53:52 AM
Is that like earning your "redwings?" Well, I'm pretty sure the reviewer has never fisted a woman on her period like you have, but I'm not so sure that disqualifies his judgment.

On the other hand, good sir, I would much rather read your review. 500 words filled with English language anomalies such as "he feel asleep" and "he likes to kills dead animals" make me hunger for more.

How does one kill a dead animal, anyway?
Psycho is perfection; Halloween lives in its shadow
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:54:26 AM
Not that it's a bad film. Ditto with Black Christmas.
In other news ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:55:02 AM
The Weekly World News is finished, over with, 86'ed! Why God, why? No more enjoyment to be had while standing in the checkout line ever again ...
cbebop007 -- your a good guy...
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
03:01:29 AM
...no matter what you think of this film. Your a better sponge than I am. I'd never give out my email to these sociopaths. Even though I love them dearly.
shit... you're = contraction
by SpongeBobs Pina Colada
Jul 22nd, 2007
03:02:36 AM
error noted. Too much IMDB and not enough protein today.
Fuck Rob Zombie and fuck this peice of shit remake.
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Jul 22nd, 2007
03:08:16 AM
This movie should not even exist. The original is fine as it is. I won't even watch this for free if someone brought it over my house one night.
Michael Myers vs ....
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
03:10:04 AM
BAT BOY!
This talkback proves...
by MyManD316
Jul 22nd, 2007
04:00:16 AM
...that the Halloween fans are the most retarded people alive. He fell asleep during the original - so what? I didn't fall asleep, but I didn't like it much either. I can still appreciate what it brought to the table but I wouldn't put it beyond reproach. Just like the reviewer, I come from a generation that was weened on the movies that came after, and even the most ardent fan can admit that the craft overall has been refined infinitely over the decades. Nostalgia plays a huge roll and can blind people to the faults of their beloved movies. I think Braveheart is awesome, even though I can recognize that it's overwrought, melodramatic and Mel overacted everything. My nostalgia of seeing that movie in theatres and being blown away still makes the movie, personally, beyond reproach but I am not so stubborn as to completely ignore the fact that its faults exist. So get over it Halloween fans, your movie wasn't perfect. It had shitty choreography and it wasn't scary in the least, but I'll still credit it as a pioneer. You don't have to have ADD or be retarded to not like it.
Oh..
by MyManD316
Jul 22nd, 2007
04:01:27 AM
..and this new Halloween doesn't look any better.
"shaky-cam"
by El Borak
Jul 22nd, 2007
04:21:05 AM
holy fucking shit.
The classic stands upMyManD316
by quantize
Jul 22nd, 2007
04:26:10 AM
The classic stands up..and yes u do need to be retarded and have ADD to not appreciate that. Braveheart....jesus FC, you idiot
Rob Zombie's Star Wars
by Dr Gregory House
Jul 22nd, 2007
04:40:04 AM
Still laughing at that one. Well done TVGuy!
IAmMrMonkey!
by jfp2007
Jul 22nd, 2007
06:40:30 AM
He wears that mask because of the trauma of murdering her, not because of the boyfriend. He lost his virginity that night, so yes the mask would have a strong hold over him. I want to know is where he gets it from. Is it still in the house after all these years and not in some evidence locker or is it going to be at the sanitarium? In the movies, they always made it clear that he was a serial shoplifter and always got out with it in broad daylight. Of course, there was always this crazy 80s dreamlike shit going on with those movies, so you never really knew for sure. He might have had it shoved up his ass; thus explaining his refusal for routine probing.
Faith
by jfp2007
Jul 22nd, 2007
06:42:40 AM
I have faith in this. Zombie's The Devil's Rejects was a modern day instant classic, and Corpses had its moments, although it took me some time to appreciate it. I still don't think it's a very good film, but Rejects more than made up for it. I think he uses the shaky cam to better effect than most diretors. The shootout at the beginning of Rejects used it a lot along with a lot of screen effects (like heat shimmers, etc) and it made it very intense.
quantize...
by MyManD316
Jul 22nd, 2007
06:53:32 AM
The only way Halloween stands up is if you're blinded by nostalgia, or are enough of a film snob to ignore its faults, of which it had many. Compared to more recent horror movies that use the exact same mold (and there are many) but with better cinematography, acting and overall direction, geeks like you would still give Halloween the nod because it was "first." That it was the one that started it all. First doesn't always mean best. The American "Ring" was far and away a superior film in all aspects than "Ringu," but stubborn film afficiandos will still go to the grave defending the original because it was first, calling everyone else who disagrees a retard. Halloween will only hold up for people who grew up with it and what right do you have to tell the new generation what's good? And you new generation guys claiming it holds up, get that stick out of your ass. You are not a more sophisticated horror fan for defending it. It is not a scary movie; or at least it shouldn't be for anyone with a backbone. And FYI, and know Braveheart has a shitload of problems, but I was only using it as an analogy to what nostalgia could do to your opinion of movie, despite knowing better.
people are assholes
by spiritualgorila
Jul 22nd, 2007
07:07:15 AM
that felt like a pretty fine review. movies gonna blow.
'Zombie employs a now-common "shaky-cam" technique'
by Daddylonghead
Jul 22nd, 2007
07:47:19 AM
Yes, I think that speaks for itself.
FUCKING TELL ABOUT THE FUCKING GOTTA-TAKE-A-SHIT-MASK
by Gwai L0
Jul 22nd, 2007
07:59:58 AM
HOW MANY FUCKING REVIEWS OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO FUCKING SEE WHERE THE SHIT-EATING WORTHLESS MOTHERFUCKING REVIEWER CAN'T TAKE ONE LOUSY FUCKING GODDAMN SECOND TO TELL WHETHER OR NOT THE GODDAMN GOTTA-TAKE-A-SHIT MASK APPEARS IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MOVIE, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, HOW FUCKING HARD WOULD THAT BE ? FOR CHRIST'S SAKE, IS IT IN THE FUCKING MOVIE OR FUCKING NOT!?
ye olde shiza: Six Feet Under? Pff, try HOLOCAUST
by Daddylonghead
Jul 22nd, 2007
08:09:48 AM
one of the immortal late seventies British metal bands. "Death Or Glory," whose lyrics you quoted, is their song, and that's REAL metal, from an era that bands like 6 feet under and metallica can only plunder in pale imitation.

On a side note, the best band from that late seventies/early eighties era, PAGAN ALTAR, is still making music, and still kicking ass...

TVguy...
by JackPumpkinhead
Jul 22nd, 2007
08:29:56 AM
If your face looked like "zombie's", you'd have an obsession with masks, too.
Case in point:
by JackPumpkinhead
Jul 22nd, 2007
08:31:38 AM
monstersandcritics.com/downloa ds/downloads/people/Robert_Cum mings/images/group3/CSH-007480 .jpg
Next Rob Zombie will remake...
by stamper
Jul 22nd, 2007
09:30:06 AM
Sorry, rape, John Carpenter's Escape from NY, with 35 mn devoted to Snake Plissken as a child
Daddylonghead
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
09:49:51 AM
I appreciate the correction! In fact, after I posted those lyrics, I went to search for them and figured out that Six Feet Under didn't write them at all ... and I couldn't figure out who did.

Now I know!

Oh, and don't worry, I have no love for Six Feet Under. I think they're fucking ridiculous, and every song has lyrics about severed heads, rotting corpses, or my favorite, "Alive, but dead, something is giving me life!"

What does that even mean?!

Which is why they'd be perfect to do the soundtrack for this remake of Halloween.
CITIZEN KANE/boring.
by thegreatwhatzit
Jul 22nd, 2007
09:56:30 AM
Someone described the film as boring and I realize that the movie severely tested their limits: it was shot in black and white, it declined an adherence to provincial (linear) storytelling, the dialogue is restrained (to circumvent the final scene's disclosure) but revelatory, the acting is bereft of melodramatic cliches, etc. Of course, the film is boring to anyone who repeatedly reads his own talkbacks and forfeits a personal life to develop his adulation for Troma drek. And, no doubt, any Hitcock film--exempting THE BIRDS, of course--is equally dull as your sex "life".
Old People
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:12:20 AM
I'm a wee 28, and I don't consider myself a young buck anymore, but at the same time, I didn't grow up going to drive-thrus and I didn't see Star Wars when it was released.

I'm sure that was a magical time period for cinema.

I'm sure too, that every time period was a magical time period for cinema when seen through the blurry contact lens of nostalgia.

Hell, I even defend Transformers: The Movie, not because I thought it had a great story or anything, but because I thought it was retarded ... in the best way possible, and the relationship between Hot Rod (the young racecar) and Kup (the old, crotchity thingamajig) was ripped off by Pixar and put into CARS. Of that, I am 400% certain.

Point is though, that I can admit that Transformers: The Movie is fucking retarded. And for anyone on here who wasn't salivating in the drive-thru to see Mike Myers for the first time, the movie just comes off as lame. I can appreciate it for being a forefather to modern slasher flicks. So, for all you folks who just dismantle people because they're dismissing your favorite movie in the universe, get over it. You're old, and I guess if crotchityness sets in at a certain age - you're displaying quite a bit by being so goddamn hateful and obstinate.

One day, you'll be hooked up to some respirators and some young buck's gunna pull the plug on you because you kept acting like a holier-than-thou cheeseball. Or you can stop acting so self-righteous and at least give this new reviewer the courtesy of reading past the first sentence ...

For being so damn decrepid, you folks act like a bunch of 12-year-olds.
Who cares how he got the mask???
by jojo-pimp
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:28:37 AM
in the original, he just got it from breaking into a store!! its not like it really ever had any deep meaning behind it! shit!
Bottom line..it wll be better than the sequels..
by jojo-pimp
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:30:23 AM
you cant get much worse than frickini Halloween Resurrection!! so regardless of whether or not it is as good as the original...it will at least, almost guaranteed, be better than the last umpteen sequels....especially the Curse of Micheal Myers..which totally blew goat!
MyManD316 is half-right, in my opinion...
by Spykid the 13th
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:41:40 AM
You're half-right in your entry, MyManD316. I think it's a shame that people love things only out of nostalgia. I mean, I think it's legitimate to feel nostalgia for something, and it's legitimate to enjoy old movies if there's something in them that touches you in some way. However, I don't think it's right to simply dismiss new movies because they're "not as good" as old movies a performa. It's too bad that people don't give the new HALLOWEEN a chance. I'm going to give it a try. At the same time, MyManD316, I think you're a little too dismissive of the original HALLOWEEN. Horror films, like the telling of any story, to me, aren't just about slashing and gashing, blood and gore. I actually think those are the least important elements of horror and they're just a cheap way to get a "scare" out of people that isn't really a scare. Why, for instance, in a horror movie, does the music get creepy when the main character's friend is creeping up on her to touch her on the arm? There's no reason in the unvierse of the film for the music to suggest she's in any danger, since not even she has noticed the approaching hand. Same thing with a cat out of a cupboard. That kind of cheap tactic is used over and over, though. You're right that THE RING is technically better than RINGU. I think the acting is better, the effects are better, the mood is better and the atmosphere is better. However, I do think the original HALLOWEEN is brilliant, because it creates characters, real characeters people can care about, which is why the scares matter later in the story.
Spykid
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:48:17 AM
I agree with your idea that older horror films created characters you could actually care about, and that is truly missing from a lot of them today, so it'll be interesting to see if that element crosses over for people seeing this one, brand new.

That was one of the reasons I enjoyed The Descent so much ... that on some level you got to learn about each of the women down there. Sure, there wasn't a lot of time spent on characterization, but they at least felt more alive than your typical VICTIM #1 and #2 from today's screenwriters.
You're right, Spykid
by MyManD316
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:59:51 AM
I am being a little rough on Halloween, but that's just my personal opinion, not a universal truth. Most horror films nowadays do overuse tactics that don't really make sense. I still think I can appreciate Halloween without actually liking it, though. I've read the Illiad and even though I think its overly long, poorly written and extremely boring, I can still give it credit for essentially starting epic storytelling. Horror films are a genre that has a much tougher time standing up mainly because different generations finds different things scary, and fear is the basis of a person's appreciation of a horror movie. I'm just mad that people are bagging the reviewer (who gave an even handed review of the new film) just because he didn't find the old Halloween particularly engaging. It's not his fault that he didn't find it horrifying and yeah, that's probably due to how jaded we've all become when we need torture porn to really be horrified. But it's because of this disconnect that people not being engaged by the old Halloween is perfectly understandable. Halloween was designed to scare the audience at the time. Most audiences nowadays wouldn't bat an eyelash. No matter how good an argument someone makes in favour of Halloween's merits, if I don't find it scary in the least I have every right to believe it to be a bad horror movie.
Rewatching movies ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
11:10:12 AM
It's funny. I used to love horror movies as a kid. Granted, Halloween wasn't really my gig ... but shit like Re-Animator, The Gate, Howling, Creepshow, House ... anything and everything I could find on VHS. I still enjoy a lot of those movies but as campy escapism, not as horror.

I dunno ... this post has no point, I guess, besides the fact that nostalgia gets the best of us. I mean, Rawhead Rex scared me when I was younger ... and I think Pumpkinhead did too, but watching them now, I just can't remember why.
Stopped reading when you said...
by crieff405
Jul 22nd, 2007
11:47:47 AM
...you'd never seen Halloween. NEXT!
crief405
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:00:33 PM
Did you learn how to read at all?

If you wanted to get your rocks off on someone loving the original Halloween, why even read a review of Rob Zombie's Halloween? Ya know there are a whole shitload of reviews out there for the original just waiting to be "reimagined!"
MyManD316...
by pdennett316
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:19:44 PM
"The American "Ring" was far and away a superior film in all aspects than "Ringu," but stubborn film afficiandos will still go to the grave defending the original because it was first, calling everyone else who disagrees a retard." You're kidding, right? Ring was a decent film, but Ringu shits all over it from a great height, and not just because it was first. The tension and sense of dread was palpable throughout Ringu, building up to the moment she crawled through the TV after we thought it was all over. Again, Ring was pretty good, but it wasn't scary and disturbing like Ringu was, and while the cgi was toned down for a US horror flick, it still robbed that scene of any semblance of tension - as did the stunt man prat-falls. The acting in Ring was good, but kind of forced and "actor-ly" for lack of a better word. The original was far more low-key and realistic, and perfect for setting the tone. I can definately see your point about nostalgia though - nothing will convince me the Transformers movie is a turd, despite huge chunks of evidence - but a classic is always a classic, and that applies to Halloween despite it's flaws. I've heard people talk about the shitty special fx in The Exorcist and how they thought it was funny, and I just fucking cringe at the depths to which movie-goers can sink.
The "I was raised on modern horror" excuse...
by Quake II
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:22:10 PM
Doesn't fly kids. I wasn't alive in the 1950's-60's, but I was raised on many of those films (Them, Day The Earth Stood Still. Creature From The Black Lagoon etc). Don't plead ignorance because of your age. If you really are a lover of cinema, you will hunt down movies like the original Halloween and like a good film student, study the roots of your hobby (cinema) and realize that it was groundbreaking at the time. I STILL rent "classic" films that I have not yet seen to broaden my knowledge of cinema. I may not like them all, but I appreciate them. The original Halloween was made for under a million bucks and still blows away most modern horror. Zombie sure as hell has seen every horror film ever made as he references them in all of his interviews. And Zombie loves the original Star Wars as well, so he gets points for that.
Yes,jfp2007...Myers had his sisters boyfriends mask
by TORTURE PWN1
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:23:08 PM
hidden up his ass in what is one of zombie's trademark Tarantino (PULP FICTION)ripoffs. He needed the "Gotta-take-a-shit" mask to get it out though.
Quake II - Hobbies
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:34:22 PM
Why is necessary to be a film historian? I thought that's why film historians had their titles ... because not everyone was interested in "studying the roots" behind the curtain behind the magic behind the wondrement of ye olden tyme cinematographamatisms.

This all reminds me of the skit from Mr. Show where David Cross plays the guy who hates everything modern and carries an old, wind-up phonograph with him everywhere he goes. He refuses to acknowledge advances in science or music and just keeps bragging about the magical sound quality of his crackly old discs.

Zombie, by the way, is old enough to have grown up watching all the movies you speak of. Homeboy's 42 years old.

Trying to catch up with all the old movies you want to see is more than a "hobby." That kind of determination is an affliction, a disease. You'd have to give up whatever you do in real life to go study the roots of cinema. We're talking nearly a century's worth of films! Jesus.
Characters Are So Important , ye olde shiza
by Spykid the 13th
Jul 22nd, 2007
12:39:57 PM
What makes the difference between MANSQUITO, MOTHRA: THE REBIRTH and THEM! ? Characters.
I say again:
by BitterMan23
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:09:41 PM
It's almost impossible to see Halloween for the first time now and see it as intended, because more than likely you will 'know' that Laurie is his sister. If you go in NOT knowing that, and you still think it's boring and not suspenseful, well then you're just sort of stupid. No one can help you. I had been watching slasher films for 5 years or so before I ever saw it, and still felt it blew all the others I had seen away. So the whole 'I can't enjoy it because I saw the movies that ripped it off first' excuse is lame.
RE: IAmMrMonkey!, Gwai L0, The Mask & Others *SPOILERS*
by cbebop007
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:18:16 PM
THE mask that Myers wears is indeed from his older sister's boyfriend, who he proceeds to kill. He's wearing it because his first killings are on Halloween. Why does he kill him/his sister? It would seem it's because they promised his mom they would take him trick-or-treating, but after his mom left to go "dance" they decided to just fuck in her bedroom instead. Myers sits outside, all sad, and then decides to kill them I guess. He finds the mask and wears it as a child when he kills his older sister. Later, when he is an adult, the mask is unexplainably in the floor of his old house. And yes, no shit mask in the movie.
Big Dumb Ape Gets It Right!
by Spykid the 13th
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:19:37 PM
Exactly right, Big Dumb Ape. Cbebop007 is exactly who they are hoping goes to see this thing. They are counting on it. As I've said in another recent post about comic-book movies, the number of people who are actual reverent to a particular piece of source material is usually much, much smaller than the number of people who might go to a new potential movie. UNDERDOG, despite all the heckling it gets here, is a good example of how to think of it, since I doubt a lot of people on here believe the original UNDERDOG shorts were sacred pieces of art that should be transferred whole hoc to the silver screen as a live-action movie. Would it make a lot of sense for Disney to adapt the movie exactly to term with an old cartoon from the past? Or would it make more sense to make it something someone MIGHT go to see for the name OR go to see because it's a memory of their youth (with the POSSIBLE chance they might enjoy it). The same is true for HALLOWEEN. I'm glad someone still loves these characters enough to make a new story. I'll take it over NO new HALLOWEEN movie. I'm also hopeful that this means in another 20 years someone will remake it again - or sooner. Why not a thousand different versions of it? Why not tell as many stories as people have new and fresh ideas? Even if those stories feature characters people love. Bottom line, if people loved for thousands of years, there would be people right now griping that the Sam Raimi HERCULES show didn't capture the spirit and flavor found in the original stories presented in live speeches by the drunken philosopher they'd seen back in the day when they were a kid in Athens. For people who very often claim to love anime, the complainers sure do not seem to get an essential part of anime, which is that anime takes the best elements from each new version of a long-lived character, incorporates them into a general mythology but constantly refits and remakes the character. Look at YAMATO/STARBLAZERS. Look at TENCHI. Why is it ok for this to work in genre anime, but not in horror? Why can't people simply say "You know, it's pretty cool about how ..." but not get pissed about new ideas and additions. I, for one, am curious more about the first half of the movie, which will be new made-up story material made specifically for this movie, than I am about watching shot-for-shot remakes of past stuff we saw in the original. I want them to ADD to the HALLOWEEN mythology. I alreadty know it. Don't tell me the same story again. I honestly wish Rob Zombie had made an entirely new story. My biggest disappointment for this was that he stuck close to the original. I was hoping he'd put his own stamp on it. I don't like Rob Zombie's work so far in horror but I admire his tenacity. Here's hoping I have fun at HALLOWEEN. I expect I just might. And when the FRIDAY THE 13TH remake finally comes out (why the hell is it taking do long?) I will go see that, too. I love those movies, as you can tell from my username, but I am not going to go in all angry that they made changes, unless those changes deviate completely from the spirit of the original (IE, making it SO different it doesn't even bear a resemblance except in name only). But even then, the FRIDAY THE 13TH tv series had nothing to do with Jason and it was still pretty damn good. Give yourself a chance to be entertained, for crissake.
ye olde shiza...Just a hobby
by Quake II
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:27:25 PM
Nothing more. I'm not watching every film ever made. Just the important ones. Instead of renting The Hills Have Eyes II remake, I'll rent Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, Five Easy Pieces or Head....I also find time for old Grindhouse and Exploitation.
Bravo and goodnight!
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:29:55 PM
I think that's all the needs to be said, Spykid. Thank you. Someone shut this talkback down before it gets all sullied up with more drama, momma.
Like the review or not...
by vezner2007
Jul 22nd, 2007
01:52:39 PM
at least he makes a good point that it's nice to see a slasher horror film again instead of the "torture porn" that we've been fed lately. I think horror films now days are just lame and I have been missing the awesome slasher flicks of the 80s and 90s. Thank God we're getting back to what made horror films great. Having said that, I don't know if I will agree with this reviewer or not but I do think it disappointing that he didn't like the original Halloween so much. By God it's a classic and I just don't get how someone who loved slasher horror films from the good old days could possibly not enjoy Halloween.
Aintitcool news is the Fox News of movie sites
by sleeptones
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:08:39 PM
do they like anything, oh yeah little miss sunshine
Are you guys still going on about this?
by dexter cornell
Jul 22nd, 2007
02:23:12 PM
Halloween is a classic, sure. But for today's audience it is a pretty damn boring ride for the first hour of the film. Sure, when it came out, all the stalking and mood was relevant, now it creates thoughts of napping. Stop getting pissed at this guy for being honest. And I hate to tell you but a LOT of people have never seen any of the Halloween flicks. A LOT. Of course people on here will mostly be fans because we're all film geeks, your average filmgoer is not. I would rather read a review from this guy that some obsessive nutball going on about the differences between Michael's shoelaces now vs then. Who gives a shit? Is this thing good? That's what I care about. And they can't change the shit about Laurie being his sister, it would piss off most of your crazy asses and you'd spend your days and nights bashing everything about it. Zombie is a talentless hack (though I will admit DR's had its moments), so how anyone could expect this to be anymore than eck is beyond me. I too am only looking forward to Danielle Harris' 'scene'.
"Stephen King doesn't care about black people!"
by smackfu
Jul 22nd, 2007
03:30:32 PM
In all honesty, I think the stepnfetchit from the Shining had more to do with Scatman Crothers than the writing. Have you ever seen Scatman *not* playing a stepnfetchit?
SIGN MY INTERNET PETITION DEMANDING THE SHIT MASK!!!
by Daddylonghead
Jul 22nd, 2007
04:26:35 PM
no, just kidding. Not even a whole army of gotta-take-a-shit masks, "v for vendetta" style, could save this stinker.
cbebop007
by monsterforge
Jul 22nd, 2007
05:10:45 PM
I have to say I'm glad you reviewed the screening. I understand why a lotta guys on here are giving you hell, but really it's nice to see someone who is neither a fan of Zombie or of the original film give their honest, unbiased opinion of the film. If you were the only reviewer who had given a review I could understand a lot of the shit being slung your way, but your review wasn't the only one... and people need to keep that in mind. We've seen several reviews of test screenings, and, by far, the majority of them don't inspire a lot of confidence in this admitted Halloween fan. Thanks for being honest, being open, and being fair. Guys, what we had was not a gushing review from cbebop007, but a review that is, at best, lukewarm. He talked about what he liked and what he didn't like, and, frankly, I can see all of this matching up with Zombie's formula for film-making. cbebop007 hit the nail on the head when he was talking about how the childhood Myers parts don't match up to the adult Myers parts. It was never a good idea to explain Myers, just like it was a bad idea to explain Boba Fett in the prequels-- you lose so much of the character's uniqueness when you explain him away. The sequels of the Halloween films walked all over this territory when they tried to explain why Myers was the way he was. And we all see how "wonderful" those films were. Ultimately I think that the movie's not going to hold up against the original. It's going to be a hit with the gore-fans and the teenies, but, as with almost every flashy movie that hits these days, it will only be a temporary hit. These kids who pay for Zombie's adult playground fantasies are a fickle and silly bunch, and they're not gonna be in this for the long-haul like we are. In a year or two this will just be another of the crappy remakes that we all forget about at best or the start of a crappy remake trilogy at worst. Either way... it's just one little fart in a hurricane. Meh. Thanks cbebop007. With the exception of a few minor, nit-picky errors the review was a good one.
Yeah, I found it an informative and coherent review
by Daddylonghead
Jul 22nd, 2007
06:34:16 PM
and Big Dumb Ape's remark about cbebop being more or less the target audience-- people unfamiliar with/uninterested in the original-- is very true, and is why cbebop's perspective was informative.
Demystifying the Monsters!
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
06:38:15 PM
Hannibal Rising - same thing. Why demystify the monsters? Why feel the need to show them as humans at one point? Isn't that redundant? I'm sure the audience doesn't think Michael Myers came out of the womb wielding a knife, but maybe he did ... and that was the best thing he had going for him. Mystery!

The mysteries gone now, baby, and all everyone's left with is a snooze-inducing retard in a mask who needed to be breastfed more and talked to.

I guess that's why all you Halloween geeks are mad. Your good buddy White Mask Head is just normal guy now. Ohsa well.

I wish Scatman Crothers would have been in this movie ...
Scatman Crothers ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
06:52:35 PM
GOTTA EAT! Okay ... the phenomenon is over now, and I'm late, but anytime Crothers is brought up, it seems like you'd have to bring up his special song, "A Man's Gotta Eat!"

Another reason Bay's Transformers sucked a hog penis ... no Scatman Crothers as Jazz.
Dont bash this kid if you think The Ring > Ringu
by llac12
Jul 22nd, 2007
07:21:23 PM
Because it means you are an ADD suffering moron who doesnt get horror either. The Ring is excessive in every way (acting, cheap scares,the surroundigs) making it super fake... and they totally ruined the ending with he editing and by trying to explain every little detail of the curse by having the main character stumble upon the clues and solving everything like it was as easy as adding 2+2. Ringu is subtle and keeps cranking up the tension until the climax...which is totally unexpected...a WOMAN (we never see her face- not even when she was a child), with broken bones and no fingernails crawls out of the tv set to kill a a very likable character who you thought had stopped the curse.In The Ring (the title itself has a stupid explanation as well) the R2D2 hologram of a little fucking girl comes out and kills the asshole from Torque. I feel sorry for most of you because you watched that crap before watching the original and think it´s better- the truth is you have suffered from a type of sensory overload that left you numb for God knows how long. Ringu= Lovecraft on screen. The Ring= The director of Pirates of the Caribean tries to do horror.
Scatman Crothers is an ADD Suffering Moron
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
07:40:06 PM
Does calling people you don't know 'ADD suffering morons' give you a throbbing erection? Scatman Crothers would like to suck the throb right out of it, for you, if you'd allow him.

I'll warn ya though - he is long deceased and prone to smell bad. I hope your sanity's in tact, 'cause seeing Scatman Crother's corpse suck your dick is about as Lovecraftian as it gets.

Pleasant dreams.
nope...flacid, but thanks for the info.
by llac12
Jul 22nd, 2007
07:53:23 PM
I don´t think my sanity is 'in tact' though.
Typos
by ye olde shiza
Jul 22nd, 2007
08:13:11 PM
That's what I love ... 'cause it means you have nothing else to bitch about when you start bringing up typos in a post. Glad I could be of service to humanity. If I can keep you talking about typos all night, it just means I've successfully deflected your need to piss on someone's parade because they have a different view then you do. Only Evangelicals and dickheads derive satisfaction from such things ...

Scatman Crothers takes pity on neither. And when you see his corpse, with "broken bones and (brrrrr) no fingernails," crawling underneath your blanket tonight, you will indeed, receive the climax of a lifetime.
To continue Quake II..."Lawrence Of Arabia remake"
by CondomWrapper
Jul 22nd, 2007
09:54:25 PM
"To be honest I fell asleep during the original because it was more than 90 minutes long and all it was was a bunch of Arabs runnning around with some looney white guy. I mean, wtf? The new one directed by Michael Bay, he skipped all the boring shit and got right to the killings and sodomy."
"Le Samourai remake"
by CondomWrapper
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:01:02 PM
"I tried to watch the original but it was in some fucking foreign language that sounded like Swedish. Ugh, it was so boring to because there wasn't much action that I feel asleep twice. The awesome new remake stars Ryan Reynolds as a hitman with a cheeky attitude who is chased by a hard-as-nails police sargeant played by the glorious actor Colin Farrell. Director Simon West (Tomb Raider) hasn't gotten rid of all the dumb, pretentious existensial crap and replaced it with a tight game of cat-and-mouse with more laughs than The Waterboy! Plus I'm so glad they got rid of the negro sub-plot in the Swedish original."
Hey, thanks for...
by micturatingbenjamin
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:44:17 PM
Pissing all over this guy, just because he didn't get a fucking boner for Halloween. I prefer the second one. Because Laurie is in MUCH greater danger in that one. The original is bound to be better than this. I saw about six minutes of House of 1000 Douchebags, and was highly not impressed, except for Otis from Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer in it. Good move there. Dude, whoever wrote this, don't let the pricks get you down.
Kill DEAD... ah, it's fake.
by Martorelli
Jul 22nd, 2007
10:47:37 PM
Fakety fakery fake.
Fell Asleep During "Halloween"?
by heywood jablomie
Jul 23rd, 2007
03:28:48 AM
Why? Because, unlike today's horror movies, it didn't have super-loud sound cues when a cat jumps out of a closet?
Rob Zombie's Overpraised Bullshit
by heywood jablomie
Jul 23rd, 2007
03:33:26 AM
Zombie is like many, many, many, MANY eighties-style headbanger guys you'll see in strip joints in Los Angeles. He's into posturing, dress-up, goth bric-a-brac, music-video bullshit. His movies are like big costume parties. There's not much plot, just a lot of funny wigs and bad actors making faces and loud ugly music. Zombie isn't a storyteller, he's a shopper. If a bunch of strippers and their smacked-out douchey boyfriends threw a Halloween theme party based on Texas Chainsaw...well, that's a Rob Zombie movie.
i quite like that review
by Lost Prophet
Jul 23rd, 2007
04:04:11 AM
basically to sum it up- someone who is not familiar with the original thinks it is mediocre. Therefore, to us that are familiar with the original it will blow on the beaufort scale.

Fucking shouldn't have been made anyway,

Every so often I read
by Lost Prophet
Jul 23rd, 2007
04:26:58 AM
Every so often I read something that sends my blood pressure through the roof- and today it's MymanD- The japanese ringu crucifies the American version, and don't get me started on the Dark Water abortion.

I've also heard that said about the exorcist and it makes me wince- I'm 28, and remember when they finally lifted the ban on the Exorcist in Britain. We all went to the opening night in the cinema, and a good amount of the people in the audience were describing it as lame. I think that a significant number of people do not appreciate tension or suspense and just wnat cheap shocks and gore- the rise of torture porn as an example. I'll take suspense every time.

cbebop007 You Suck Just Like Zombie
by JustyHakubi
Jul 23rd, 2007
05:38:05 AM
You're reviewing a remake of a movie based on your non-existent knowledge of the original. You're a fucking tard if you can't appreciate or even grasp the importance of the original. The original Halloween was a true classic of the genre. I will not see the Zombie remake because he will put his modern life stamp of ass sucking, push the envelope, anything goes and totally destroy the movie. From the reviews and spoilers I've read so far he did just that. MICHAEL MEYERS IS NOT GOD DAMN JASON VORHEES! Give us a fucking break Zombie. And you cbebop007 you too busy sucking his knob to fucking realize this. In addition, if you did your damn homework about Michael Meyers you would have known that his "affliction" began as a child thus a backstory is needed to explain why he is a monster. Zombie fucked it all up, but it's supposed to be there. The original Halloween was a bloodless thriller which was the genius of the movie. The mood Carpenter gave us in the movie was absolutely perfect and if you feel asleep during it you have no place reviewing movies. Have some damn respect for the art!
A very minor point...
by Wilfy Fredericks
Jul 23rd, 2007
06:21:21 AM
.. and maybe someone else has already picked this up but the OG Halloween shows exactly how Myers gets his jump suit. He escapes in his mental patient nightdress and takes the jumpsuit off the guy he kills on the road back to Haddonfield. It's the guy who's corpse is stashed behind the phone that Loomis uses. Apologies for being pedantic - and leave the reviewer alone. He's entitled to his opinions.
To all you pansies saying lay off the dude...
by JustyHakubi
Jul 23rd, 2007
07:07:35 AM
STFU! Look, the reviewer put his own neck on the chopping block. He knew exactly to whom he writing. My guess is he knew damn well that he was going to piss some people off. In that sense he has some balls. That doesn't mean that I am not going to call him on his fuckup. He could very well have said, "Look I just didn't get the original, so I rented again to see what I missed and how it differs from the original." But no, He has the freaking lack of sense to say that he slept through it because he thought is boring. YEAH NU HALLOWEEN NEEDS TO BE EXTREME...YEAH ROXXORS. I hate this shit attitude. And you idiots with all your hand wringing..."Oh be nice you guys your gonna make him cry." STFU! If you're going to be a reviewer you need have thick skin and wear flame-retardent clothing because to be reviewer you need to be prick with misguided views that you feel are superior to everyone else. In that regard he hit a homerun. He gets what he gives. Just my humble opinion.
Zombie completely and totally sucks.....
by grendel69
Jul 23rd, 2007
07:55:06 AM
but at least theres tits.
I'm with the reviewer
by Variant13
Jul 23rd, 2007
08:12:27 AM
I fell asleep during Halloween too, fucking boring movie. Horror masterpiece my arse.
Re: Variant13
by JustyHakubi
Jul 23rd, 2007
09:05:48 AM
Hey, good for you. Here's your Special Olympics Gold Medal, because we're all winners.
With the reviewer, as well ...
by ye olde shiza
Jul 23rd, 2007
10:26:33 AM
The OG Halloween is pretty boring.

And I don't think the reviewer went into a weird, all-caps rant dismissing the importance of the first film, either. He said he fell asleep. It can be boring, yet important to the development of film at the same time. Classrooms, for the most part, are boring ... yet we make it through those smarter and having learned something. I'm pretty certain he didn't dismiss Halloween's cinematic place.

Maybe I misread the review and the talkbacks.

Your opinion's anything but humble, by the way. Sounds more like the opinion of Hitler ...

"I'm yelling the loudest! Wah wah wah. Everyone listen to me 'cause I'm a loud yeller! You're all stupid. And I am the king."

Thanks for the insight, though. Your hate is duly noted, has been filed away, and you will receive your complimentary swastika in the mail as soon as you send us three more pounds of ashes from the last Jew and/or books you burned.
wow....hakubi
by kennofolds
Jul 23rd, 2007
10:37:59 AM
Do you jerk off to Halloween every night or what? Its a movie made almost 30 years ago. If you have such deep seeded emotional bond to it that you have to attack any an all people who disagree you should get yourself a "gottashitson" mask and hang yourself in your lonely basement as protest.
aww..shiza got mad
by llac12
Jul 23rd, 2007
11:22:09 AM
I thought you were joking. Are you really having sex with a corpse? When exactly did deflecting my "need" to piss on someone's parade because they have a different view become your job? Every sigle TB in the history of TBs has done just that, so I don´t see why you are so outraged. I was just saying: I dont see why someone who liked The Ring (a pointless remake) would give this kid a hard time since they wouldnt know shit about horror either. "Only Evangelicals and dickheads derive satisfaction from such things". Settle down, Obi Wan. I was just stating my point of view. I didn´t do it to cum all over my keyboard like you do (of course, this wouldn´t be the only thing someone would have to do to be considered a dickhead). As far as evangelicals go, where I come from (not the U.S.), we treat those people like the shitty thieves they are a lot more overtly than you guys do (assuming you´re from the U.S.) My first post kind of indicates that I actually agree with most of your previous posts, so chill Scatman lover.
My take on things...
by JustyHakubi
Jul 23rd, 2007
11:23:36 AM
To Shinza, I reply in the eternal words Calicos' Baltar from the good BSG. "Surely you don't mean me?" To kennofolds, I say. Yes, yes I do. Over the last 30 years Hollywood has gone totally and completely to shit. Yes, every now and then they do get one right, but its more true to say they swim in a pool of mediocrity. Ask yourself, why did Rob Zombie attempt this? Answer is because Halloween was a good fucking movie. It doesn't matter that it was made in 1978. What matters was John Carpenter nailed this one. In the movie you the aspect of a clinically insane person escaping from an institution. 70's movies had that very antiseptic feel to them. they worked on a deep psychological level. Coma is another movie that had that feel. Donald Pleasance was kick ass cool in the movie. That is a factor that can't be ignored. In addition the cinematography and score were also very effective. Movies today go overkill on shock value, blood and gore. They ignore the deeper psychological value of the storyline. Its sad that people today are so desensitized to this aspect of a movie. I'm not saying that this type of movie is for everyone. However, it is a classic of the genre. If you can't grasp that then your an idiot. The reviewer had no freakin clue. If you don't understand the history of the genre then at least make the attempt to learn about it. Young adults today are too damn ignorant. They reinforce their ignorance out of some blind peer pressure that says "who gives a crap about the past we don't need to understand anything more than our own little worlds." The studios directed this movie to them, completelt butchering the original intent. The Fog, Dawn of the Dead, etc all were damn hack jobs by writers who can't think up an original idea to save their lives. So yeah, Rob Zombies Halloween has touched a nerve.
You have to be kidding me
by gigerme
Jul 23rd, 2007
12:15:07 PM
Hey kid! Go watch you spongebob dvd's and leave the real classics to the big boys. You know the ones that were actually living when "Halloween" the CLASSIC was released. Or even better, go rent "PULSE". Now that is a movie you'd love
Sense of dread
by SpikeTBB
Jul 23rd, 2007
03:31:21 PM
I think the over all sense of dread was what set the original apart from the crowd.That the safety and quiet of the town was just a mask over omniscient evil. Sitting in class or walking down the street in broad daylight, Laurie was still in danger. The entire time they are makeing plans for Halloween, so is The Shape, just out of sight or around a corner. You KNEW he was out there doing things, getting ready to strike, setting up the tombstone for displaying his victim. But he seemed to do it unseen and undetected. In the original they expertly walked a line between making him seem supernatural and yet almost human.You were never SURE and uncertainty is one of the primal roots of fear. There were a couple of other things in particular that added to it's effectiveness.The way Loomis talked about Micheal, ascribing to him supernatural evil.It was like like Micheal's evil had some how infected Loomis, turning this man of science into an obsessed hunter who was also somewhat insane. By looking into the black emptiness of Myer's eyes had turned him into a monster as well.

They keep The Shape out of sight or in the shadows, never see him doing anything to mundane. Every time he is seen it is with a sense of dread and he is either killing or stalking. To be near him was to die,simple as that. But what really made it all work was that Laurie Strode was likable. In the first two, she was well constructed by the script and Jamie Curtis. Her friends were less likable on purpose, I think, to make Laurie seem more isolated. And they had actual conversations, the dialogue had a constant theme and the discussions actually MEANT something. Instead of just being one liners, 'snapping" insults and 'sassy attitude" pretending to be lines. The script writers seeking that Holy Grail of quotable quips in hopes will be repeated or become a catch phrase. When Laurie said "It really was The Boggie Man." and Loomis replies "As a matter of fact. it was." It wasn't going for a one liner or quip, it was the culmination of all that had gone before, and set things up for the last look out the window and the shots of the different parts of town as Myer's breathing could be heard.

The movie has a sense of dread that built up to moments of sudden horror and violence, as opposed to torture porn and action movies pretending to be horror films.

That is what makes it a classic to me.

hmmmm...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 23rd, 2007
05:08:14 PM
Zombie did change the ending, and it seems for the better.

I was thinking of re-watching Halloween, since I don't have any other movies I really want to watch. I haven't seen the second one in along time, it's been around decade, but I still remember most of it, doesn't Myers boil someone in that one?
Halloween II / Spike
by JustyHakubi
Jul 23rd, 2007
05:31:47 PM
Yeah, Michael boils the face off of one of the nurses in that one. Spike, great commentary. You understand it.
Well according to Zombie
by TVguy4566
Jul 23rd, 2007
11:31:48 PM
The test screenings went through the roof. Everyone loved it and no one compared it to the orginal (maybe that is why they kept the over 30 set out since they were more likely to screw up the screening). The reshoots were not reshoots, just cleaning up loose ends. Oh yeah, his wife is talented (ok, I threw that one in). http://tinyurl.com/25mq5u
"I don't give a shit about reinvigorating a franchise"
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:23:59 AM
Words from Zombie's mouth.

Zombie, if for any reason you would even be reading this, I think less of you for that statement.

"I don't give a shit about reinvigorating a franchise, that's all well and good because you have to make money but I just wanted to make a great film and that's all Carpenter wanted to do. Not make a series. If they make "Halloween" 2, 3, 4, 9000, I'm not gonna be involved. Because this film has such a great start and a great ending, to go, "Let's start it up again!" Would be, to me, "Oh, Jesus Christ."

I am, for the first time, actually looking at Zombie negatively, as far as cinema as an art is concerned... I mean, come the fuck on, the point of every horror movie is to scare, and if possible to do it intelligently, but to think you are the end all be all of the work involved is so pretentious. And, I do know that Carpenter didn't at first make Myers to be anything more than human, but at the last minute (sorta) decided to make it where bullets wouldn't kill him.... Robert... Robert Bartleh Cummings, you should know that what real fans want isn't for you to decide what the meaning of Halloween is, but to make it to where they can enjoy it on the same level as the first...

It's just that we all know there will be a sequel or prequel or remake, regardless of what Zombie does, but at least Carpenter came on board for the second one, and did a pretty good job, knowing that if he didn't do it, someone else would.
I'm going to be an ass for awhile so this board goes up
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:24:44 AM
Yeah,
Goes up at least in the most TBs with responses...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:25:35 AM
I only gotta beat Lost.
I don't know if I can keep
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:26:05 AM
I don't know if I can keep this up
Nevermind,
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:27:22 AM
This isn't worth it. On second thought, fuck it, most people here are already sick of Zombie.
Ok, since other people do it
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:32:26 AM
and I don't see anyone else posting anything.
This is more like an experiment for me...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:32:56 AM
I'm not sure why.
I figure if it is done for the 24 hour mark...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:33:59 AM
That I won't have to keep this up..
I figure if it is done for the 24 hour mark...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:34:01 AM
That I won't have to keep this up..
I figure if it is done for the 24 hour mark...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:34:01 AM
That I won't have to keep this up..
I figure if it is done for the 24 hour mark...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:34:04 AM
That I won't have to keep this up..
I figure if it is done for the 24 hour mark...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:34:04 AM
That I won't have to keep this up..
I figure if it is done for the 24 hour mark...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:34:05 AM
That I won't have to keep this up..
whoops! too long...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:34:47 AM
Don't ban me, I'm just seeing if anyone care for this in the morning.
Ok, now I'm in the top...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:37:08 AM
This will be my last post for the evening, so I wish for all a good night/morning.

I'm just pissed at how Zombie thinks this is supposed to be a stand alone... Honestly, if this hadn't of happenend, we would've got a shitty sequel, and I know Zombie changed the ending, he's just trying to play it cool.....
Ok, now I'm in the top...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:37:09 AM
This will be my last post for the evening, so I wish for all a good night/morning.

I'm just pissed at how Zombie thinks this is supposed to be a stand alone... Honestly, if this hadn't of happenend, we would've got a shitty sequel, and I know Zombie changed the ending, he's just trying to play it cool.....
Ok, now I'm in the top...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:37:09 AM
This will be my last post for the evening, so I wish for all a good night/morning.

I'm just pissed at how Zombie thinks this is supposed to be a stand alone... Honestly, if this hadn't of happenend, we would've got a shitty sequel, and I know Zombie changed the ending, he's just trying to play it cool.....
Ok, now I'm in the top...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:37:09 AM
This will be my last post for the evening, so I wish for all a good night/morning.

I'm just pissed at how Zombie thinks this is supposed to be a stand alone... Honestly, if this hadn't of happenend, we would've got a shitty sequel, and I know Zombie changed the ending, he's just trying to play it cool.....
Ok, now I'm in the top...
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:37:19 AM
This will be my last post for the evening, so I wish for all a good night/morning.

I'm just pissed at how Zombie thinks this is supposed to be a stand alone... Honestly, if this hadn't of happenend, we would've got a shitty sequel, and I know Zombie changed the ending, he's just trying to play it cool.....
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:16 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:17 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:17 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:17 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:18 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:19 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:19 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
I meant the thread was in the top, and thanks TVguy456
by The Dum Guy
Jul 24th, 2007
01:39:20 AM
I swear to never do this again, unless needed,
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