Jiraffe jokes are also funny. I also like jokes about Gam Gars

"Are these the same people who thought [insert name of movie that everyone likes, proving you're special for hating it] was [insert enormous exaggeration of what people actually said about the film, using many superlatives]? If so, I think I'll[insert a "cooler than thou" phrase, showing your mild disdain, but tempered with indifference].

fucking doofus...

I'm not joking, ask him...

he's said some stuff that is so ridiculously weird, and some of it so factually inaccurate, that I tend to think he's just having a laugh.

but if he is, he's a damn good writer, cos he totally sounds like a really earnest, albeit totally delusional, nutcase...

I guess time will tell...

(oh and you can count on him responding to this post with more hilarity)

he's a nutcase, full stop.

but god, I love him...nothing makes me laugh harder than a guy who claims that Steven Spielberg is racist and the civil rights movement was run by white conservatives...

I mean honestly...is that not hilarious?

his absolutely PIERCING insight into human behavior and our selfish motivations, as well as our behavior in relation to everything around us... and 2) characters that are so detailed that they are more alive and exist more in the real world than most people I know.

Do you see what I'm saying?

Now, you don't have to like it, but you at least have to admit it: Spielberg is damn good at what he does, and what he does is make movies for mass consumption. He's the fucking Bill Gates of Hollywood and YES, the Shakespeare of his time.

A lot of the time people forget that, in the end, Hollywood is just another business. No matter which way you cut it, 99% of movies are made to make money. And no one has a better track record of making money than Steven Spielberg.

Do you really think we still discuss Shakespeare because people back in the day loved his fucking insight into human behavior?

I don't think people will remember so much whether they were good or bad but will remember the themes that made them the movies they are, be it good or bad. As for me, I loved all the Star Wars films and continue to love them and imagine my own stories and adventures I'd like to see in that galaxy, far, far away.

Star Wars is guaranteed to be remembered for a very long time as well as its creator. I don't think Indiana Jones hits quite as close but will be remembered as being the greatest series of action films. But then again, it was created by Lucas and not Spielberg, technically.

the coathanger abortion line was particularly funny. nothing says, "take my arguments seriously" like wishing abortion retroactively on someone that disagrees with you. what a kook! lol...

I love his Schindler's List comments...it's like saying, "oh COME ON, tell me Titanic wasn't a movie about a big ship!! that's all it was!!!" well, yeah, but it's a little more important that the ship SANK, you know?

Schindler WAS a nazi, he WAS an opportunist, and he WAS a greedy businessman. the point of the movie, which seems to have eluded A.S., was in his redemption. from a historian who interviewed Schindler:

"Oskar Schindler's exceptional deeds stemmed from just that elementary sense of decency and humanity that our sophisticated age seldom sincerely believes in. A repentant opportunist saw the light and rebelled against the sadism and vile criminality all around him. The inference may be disappointingly simple, especially for all amateur psychoanalysts who would prefer the deeper and more mysterious motive..."

I just love this guy though, "race pimps"? lol...what the hell is he even talking about? rock on, AnimalStructure!