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Mammoth Herds!! Prehistoric Attack Ostriches!! Roland Emmerich!! It Must Be A 10,000 B.C. Trailer & A Way-In-Advance Review!!

First by ROBRAM89	Jul 11th, 2007 10:39:11 PM
Wow, that was sudden.
almost by Philvis	Jul 11th, 2007 10:46:50 PM
Interesting
Fourth by darrenspool	Jul 11th, 2007 10:49:34 PM
cool
Zug Zug by TheBloop	Jul 11th, 2007 10:49:39 PM
Does this one have a hot ass cave women chick in a bear skin bikini? Me want to zug zug with her!!!
It will be interesting to see by Philvis	Jul 11th, 2007 10:51:33 PM
how prehistorically correct this is going to be. I'm looking forward to seeing the CGI on this when finished. I saw some boats on a river, and they looked a little advanced, so I am hoping they don't screw around with the time period too much.
Looks pretty good I guess by supermarch	Jul 11th, 2007 10:54:52 PM
Weird marketing angle though. What are they alluding to? Energy conservation or something?
could The Borg assimilate a mammoth? by Boomers_Lips	Jul 11th, 2007 10:55:41 PM
or any other dinosaur for that matter?
Damn it all to hell by supermarch	Jul 11th, 2007 10:56:09 PM
I was going to say that the worst thing about this will be the fucking super nerds attacking it's historical accuracy and them BAM Philvis has already started that train.
Hell I'll watch it. by krushjudgement	Jul 11th, 2007 10:57:02 PM
And I'll have a good time.
Me like by Aloy	Jul 11th, 2007 10:57:20 PM
Looks like a bit of Conan a touch of Apocalypto. Nice FX, more a renter than a first run unless it's a quite night but still looks like fun.
I hate reviews that are more than half setup by jimmy_009	Jul 11th, 2007 10:59:16 PM
This is how I got the tickets! Here's my life story as it relates to this movie. The audience was like this, the lights went down! Just review the fucking movie, no one cares about how, when or why you saw it. Do you think Roger Ebert gives a five paragraph setup? First I got some Chinese food! Then I took a cab to the theater! Boy was I suprised when they were out of Sno-Caps!
They speak English? by darrenspool	Jul 11th, 2007 10:59:52 PM
Great Britain wasn't invented yet. Roland is gay, btw. No pun intended.
Wow... by batzilla	Jul 11th, 2007 11:00:26 PM
chicks wore makeup back then? Cool u guys.
Oh come on now Nosferatu by QuinnTheEskimo	Jul 11th, 2007 11:11:14 PM
I kind of liked Stargate...
So this story takes place before GLOBAL WARMING by Mace Tofu	Jul 11th, 2007 11:13:02 PM
or after? I didn't see much ice in the trailer and I get those earth cycles mixed up. Didn't all the Mammoths freeze to death? Mmmm zug zug. Hey Nosferatu you should get check out MOON 44, it has some hot shower scenes and...wife. Nevermind.
Hmm... by Veni Vidi Vici	Jul 11th, 2007 11:24:43 PM
seems like another movie based on the past with actors looking like they live in the present. is it that hard to do research?
What would have been a clever shot in trailer... by ribbitking	Jul 11th, 2007 11:25:16 PM
When they show all the modern lights of the world dim, they should have zoomed in on only one light left, and have it show the first creation of fire by man. The rest i can't help, it'll suck.
Smiley Face is probably code for Smiley Face. by Bungion Boy	Jul 11th, 2007 11:26:01 PM
It's a movie that was at Sundance. it's supposed to be similar to stoner comedies like Dude Where's My Car and Harold and Kumar but it is it's own film. I missed it at Sundance but am really curious because it's Gregg Araki, and though I hated Doom Generation, I loved Mysterious Skin and I can't wait to see what he does with a comedy. I'm curious as to what's up with it because it was supposed to come out 4/20/07 and got pushed to July but I think it got delayed again. Some people I know who saw it weren't impressed but most of the buzz I heard at Sundance was positive. So I guess we'll see.
Clan of the Cave Bear Pt. 2? by Zardoz	Jul 11th, 2007 11:29:05 PM
Yawn.
Not a big Djimon Honsou fan by Buck Turgidson	Jul 11th, 2007 11:33:24 PM
Yeah, yeah. I know that's not Djimon. Anyway, this feels like a weak Apocalypto knock-off (which I liked, BTW, but it's been done. I don't care to see it again). The 10K BC story/plot sounds flimsy (a problem with most of Emmerich's films?) so the audience will REALLY have to care about these characters. If not, it's DOA. Ouch.
Good Grief by Clio	Jul 11th, 2007 11:38:59 PM
There were no man-made structures like that anywhere on this planet in 10,000 B.C. Oh, wait a minute, this is Hollywood---it doesn't matter.
HAHAHA GLOBAL WARMING JOKES by ScamsAndFlams	Jul 11th, 2007 11:48:10 PM
I'll leave those to the professional comedians like Mace Tofu. This movie sounds like shit.
While nowhere near an exceptional story teller so far.. by drompter	Jul 12th, 2007 12:03:13 AM
I certainly believe that Roland Emmerich has talent for shooting impressive looking sequences (I always remember that shot from Godzilla with the helicopters flying over the footprints). In the bottom, I often find myself rooting for him and wondering what could he accomplish if he were given a solid script and a great production team. At least you have to concede to him that he tries to make his movies more human than any other of the hacks out there.
Mammoths? by bralli	Jul 12th, 2007 12:07:20 AM
I didn't think mammoths were still around 12,000 years ago but I actually looked it up. They went extinct as recently as 4,000 years ago.
Bring back the mammoths!!! by godoffireinhell	Jul 12th, 2007 12:17:19 AM
Their fucking CUTE!!!
Camilla Belle is THE TRUTH by topaz4206	Jul 12th, 2007 12:20:23 AM
I'd clean her posterior with my mouth after she evacuates. That's all I got.
I can't even begin to explain how innacurate this is by cammywobs	Jul 12th, 2007 12:28:19 AM
Evidence of large-scale cities and warfare dates back only to about 4000 B.C.... and even then, we're talking little more than raiding parties attacking systems of tunnels. This looks so far off, it should have just been in a fantasy realm, which I guess it kind of has to be with the magical adoption of English. Too bad, I was kinda hoping this would be a more realistic epic, but I guess I should have learned my lesson after 300.
Historical Accuracy or Hysterical Accuracy? by ScienceMan	Jul 12th, 2007 12:37:05 AM
I'll take hysterical accuracy any day. You're only asking to be frustrated by taking the supernerd route and expecting a Hollywood action movie to also be educationally meritorious, or at least to get the facts straight. Yes, Sabreteeth and Terror Birds and Mammoths did exist in 10,000 BC, alongside humans... unfortunately nowhere near each other physically. Terror birds and sabreteeth were mainly in northa and south America, mammoth mainly in Eurasia. America at that time (and until quite recently) had these cute little pygmy elephants, whose bones they still occasionally pull out of San Francisco bay. Of course if they wanted to be really accurate, every actor would be unattractive, short, and have very bad teeth. But what can you do...
I don't know why... by Crimson King	Jul 12th, 2007 12:40:42 AM
But this got me thinking about how they ought to bring back that Prehistoric/Futuristic genre of sci-fi fantasy movies. They could start by remaking Yor, The Hunter From The Future.
Way to correct 'em ScienceMan! by Gheorghe Zamfir	Jul 12th, 2007 12:47:13 AM
Correct who? I dunno, since no one said mammoths didn't exist in 10,000 BC, but way to get em anyways.
How will they sell the title in non-christian areas? by ribbitking	Jul 12th, 2007 12:47:48 AM
What will the title be in China?
Apocolypto meets Ice Age by Kraken	Jul 12th, 2007 12:59:00 AM
With slightly more cartoony looking CGI than Ice Age had, egad!
You sure that's not prequel to TROY? by turk128	Jul 12th, 2007 01:13:44 AM
Seriously...
I Await the Movie by JaggedSac	Jul 12th, 2007 01:38:18 AM
I await the movie that everyone on these boards will think is good. I'm not saying everyone should think this movie is good(because it looks like shite). Just wondering if there ever will be a unanimously loved movie.
Crimson King by ScienceMan	Jul 12th, 2007 02:00:20 AM
You sir are a god for remembering Yor, The Hunter From The Future. I am old enough to remember being young enough to think that was a fucking awesome movie. Back in the day. We need more like that. More Space Hunter: Adventures in the Forbidden Zone, too.
re: spelling by tailgunner111	Jul 12th, 2007 02:12:24 AM
it's = it is, so "its weaknesses" not "it's weaknesses", etc. Jesus, you native speakers are bad at English
from the director of Independence Day and... by BadMrWonka	Jul 12th, 2007 02:46:18 AM
The Day After Tomorrow... isn't that a bit like putting on your resume, "former Captain of the Titanic and the Exxon Valdez"? and I love when gaveman chicks have perfect makeup and straight, white teeth...
and to me, historical accuracy is only important if by BadMrWonka	Jul 12th, 2007 02:58:33 AM
it's so horrendously wrong that it stretches past the point of believability... 10,000 years ago, if there were any pyramids, they must have been built by aliens, and they must have taken them with them when they left. the pyramids that we know of date back, at the oldest stretch, to 5000 BC...why not call the movie 5000 BC? there were still a few mammoths around then. ah, but you know what WEREN'T around by then? sabre tooth togers...gotta have the big toothed money making machines! fuck Roland Emmerich...after Godzilla, I can't see how he is still allowed to make movies...
This looks like shyt! It looks like different periods.. by The Founder	Jul 12th, 2007 03:00:24 AM
have been thrown together. I hope to god and i didn't rewind it, but i hope to god i did not see a Raptor trying to eat someone? Dinos were dead when men started roaming the earth, let alone men in tribes and building shyt like boats and buidings. Not sure about a Sabretooth Tiger.
Looks slick, suggests a stone age Apocalypto by KillaKane	Jul 12th, 2007 03:05:12 AM
Not to sure about the 'evolved' looks of the primitives though, even if they were some kind of Cromags, but that's hollywood I guess and this is'nt exactly Quest for Fire. Certainly going to be entertaining if Emmerichs track record is anything to go by, yeah I'm there...
CGI does not seem to evolve by DonRivella	Jul 12th, 2007 03:30:23 AM
Is it me or did CGI not really improve in the last 7 years? Even in the high budget movies, a lot of it still looks distractingly artificial. Anyway, this trailer looks like it was assembled from leftover Lord of the Rings and Apocalypto footage.
Another Sugar coated Turd from Roland rat by FILMFUNK	Jul 12th, 2007 03:35:58 AM
Sweet visuals on the outside, shit all under the crust!
THIS YEARS LIL MISS APOCALYPTO!!! by DECKERS	Jul 12th, 2007 03:37:46 AM
...now with furry elephants and tigers with bad dental work...box office gold I tells ya!!! Kisses!!
Emmerich is, at least, reliably stupid by Franklin T Marmoset	Jul 12th, 2007 03:45:55 AM
The man made a film where people run away from weather, so you have to respect the guy. Also, I believe the Apple laptop solution in Independence Day will rank in the top ten of all time dumb movie moments for many years to come. So, I hope this one is chock full of historical inaccuracies. It wouldn't be a Roland Emmerich film without them.
Seriously... by What Am I Doing 2 Myself	Jul 12th, 2007 04:00:21 AM
You guys don't recognize Ringo Starr....? Caveman? or some such shit....circa '78? his wife, Barbara Bach was in it in the Rachel Welsh role... Anybody?
BTW.... by What Am I Doing 2 Myself	Jul 12th, 2007 04:05:41 AM
The latest theories on the age of the Egyptian pyramid complex is approximately 10,000 BC, a time frame which allows for the torrential rains that caused the weather marks on the back of the Sphinx and lines the orientation of the Giza pyramids exactly with the belt of Orion, arguably the most recognizable stellar contellation in the hemisphere....
Camilla Belle by yodalovesyou	Jul 12th, 2007 04:54:33 AM
mmmm!
what am I doing to myself by BadMrWonka	Jul 12th, 2007 05:37:11 AM
there are all sorts of fringe theories about ancient races of people building the pyramids around 10,000 BC, and then dying out, or being wiped out. but the egyptians certainly didn't build them then. and virtually all credible scholars agree that they were made by the egyptians, and were built later than 5000 BC. I suppose fringe science makes for good movies sometimes...look at harry and the hendersons... but with emmerich at the helm, I'm sure the first title card will say something alluding to these "new scientific theories", as if they're at all logical or widely accepted...
This looks beyond retarded by Andy Warhol Jr	Jul 12th, 2007 05:50:34 AM
Dinos, hyperactive mammoths, sail ships and huge pyramids. No comments. And I enjoyed ID4 and Godzilla!
BTW, the review is plant by Andy Warhol Jr	Jul 12th, 2007 05:53:09 AM
It comes the same day as the trailer? Sounds more like plant than "irony / symmetry". Besides, this is unreadable, which is another reason it comes from a fucking studio dick.
No Dinosaurs? by Yeti	Jul 12th, 2007 06:34:02 AM
According to some "museums" ahem. cough. Humans and Dinosaurs shared the planet 6000 years ago. Double cough.
I'm hoping we see the pilgrims land in this movie too by just pillow talk	Jul 12th, 2007 06:46:21 AM
Perhaps one of the cavemen make a phone call? C'mon people, we need Roland to make as dumb a movie as possible. We need more dumb movies, cause frankly there aren't enough out there. What? Bay made Transformers? Oh.
ID4 was the last Emmerich movie worth watching... by vezner2007	Jul 12th, 2007 06:47:29 AM
and I'm not sure that this one looks like a come back. Oh, and is this historically accurate? :P
POOOKA, motherfucker! by Daddylonghead	Jul 12th, 2007 06:58:29 AM
Blam, right in the kneecap.
Does "10,000 BC" have Raquel Welch in a fur-kini? by Daddylonghead	Jul 12th, 2007 07:02:55 AM
Because the answer to that will be the same answer as "Will I buy a ticket to this."
Where the hell was Chaka? by Uncle Stan	Jul 12th, 2007 07:04:42 AM
This could have been his comeback.
Is Shia la Boof playing a mammoth? by JackPumpkinhead	Jul 12th, 2007 07:16:55 AM
He's gigantic!
What Am I Doing 2 Myself by Nice Marmot	Jul 12th, 2007 07:18:26 AM
There are already 2 or 3 references to Caveman and every other damn Prehistoric movie ever made. YABBA-DABBA-DOO!!! There, there's my contribution. You think you're quicker than 50 other flaming fanboy tools or something?
Apocalypto & Subtitles = Realism by riddleman1674	Jul 12th, 2007 07:34:51 AM
A caustic event gives them the abilitiy to magically start speaking English?? What a fucking copout. The movie looks great visually but if they start playing Lowrider or we Will Rock You or if Heath Ledger pops up anywhere in this movie, I'm out.
God help me, I want to see this by rev_skarekroe	Jul 12th, 2007 07:45:43 AM
Has Roland Emmerich finally made me his bitch?
bralli... by rev_skarekroe	Jul 12th, 2007 07:52:22 AM
...some have theorized that pygmy mammoths may still have existed on remote Siberian islands as recently as 1500 years ago. Mammoths contemporary with King Arthur? It's possible! Lean more at your local library.
So aliens didn't build the pyramids. by Drewchem08	Jul 12th, 2007 07:59:48 AM
It was the woolly mammoths all along. Sweet.
The rise of Dumbhouse by Franklin T Marmoset	Jul 12th, 2007 08:01:47 AM
Spandau Belly has invented Shithouse, so I am going to make my contribution - Dumbhouse. Clearly, Michael Bay and Roland Emmerich are the pioneers behind this genre, but you could probably throw in Tim Story and Mark Steven Johnson, too. Also, whoever it was who did that DOA film where hot chicks did kung fu on each other in tiny clothes. These are the kind of gloriously stupid films that entertain by making as little sense as possible, and we should salute them. Some day, this phase will die out, but don't worry - eventually there will be a tongue-in-cheek revival. That will be a day worth waiting for.
supermarch...sorry by Philvis	Jul 12th, 2007 08:11:12 AM
I'm an archaeologist, so its something I can finally comment on as far as accuracy. Regardless, I'm a sucker for most movies so I will see it and take it for what it is. I don't expect this type of movie to be earth shattering, just visually exciting.
So aliens didn't build the pyramids. by Drewchem08	Jul 12th, 2007 08:17:21 AM
It was the woolly mammoths all along. Sweet.
Two words ... by vaskark	Jul 12th, 2007 08:47:34 AM
Shit sandwich.
sounds like a typical Roland Emmerich movie to me by future help	Jul 12th, 2007 08:51:39 AM
crap.
Where's this set? Anyway, its HERESY!!! by Col. Tigh-Fighter	Jul 12th, 2007 08:56:36 AM
As we all know the Universe and everything in it was only created 4004BC. Dinousuars exsisted in the Garden of Eden aling with white people. It says so in the bible!!
Good Grief. by J.B.M.A.	Jul 12th, 2007 09:12:26 AM
This looks beyond terrible. Historically destitute and retarded. Mammoths on pyramids? 'Fucks sake.
Good trailer by homer40	Jul 12th, 2007 09:15:07 AM
The trailer was very good, but all of Emerich's trailers were good. Its the actual movies themselves that don't meet expectations. Other than "The Patriot", which was a very, very good film, all of his films have been disapointments. And not in a Tim Burton "That film was almost great" way, but in a, "wow, that was mediocre at best" way. Anyway, I'm an optomist, so I look forward to this one. Is Racquel Welch in it?
Pyramids... by Philvis	Jul 12th, 2007 09:30:41 AM
I will have to watch the trailer again. I didn't notice the pyramids. Graham Hancock must have been one of the contributing writers on this if there are pyramids.
Well, I've heard that... by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jul 12th, 2007 09:46:16 AM
...Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer makes an appearance in the third act and negotiates a financial settlement between the two parties. He then catches a United Terradactyl flight to sunny Puerto Viarta just in time for the Surf n' Turf/Martini special by the pool. Serious.
I survived just fine by Guy Gaduois	Jul 12th, 2007 09:57:50 AM
waiting for the Day After Tommorrow to come out on DVD. But I might just put my feet through the floorboard and pitadapadatapitida right on down to the theatre for this one. I feel that once you've watched one bad caveman movie, your cherry's been popped and you have to finish them all, no matter how painful. "Doo-doo". "Ca-ca". "Sh#t". That's still my favorite scene from 'Caveman'. Or the giant fly on the face. I think Raquel was yummier than Barbara, though. I remember my first boner . . .
Looks like turds to me. by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz	Jul 12th, 2007 09:58:31 AM
next.
I want to go to Puerto Viarta/Vallarta. by Daddylonghead	Jul 12th, 2007 10:02:44 AM
Seriously my life is a wreck. I'm drunk at 11 AM I have no job, and I paid July rent and bought groceries by having my ex-girlfriend Western-Union me money. I am through with all of life's retardedness. I have not had a drink for six months but today I am getting fucking smashed. Being sober only made me more painfully aware of my own failings. Now, for the first time in many weeks, I feel GOOD! I don't CARE that I'm a disappointment to myself, I don't CARE that my girlfriend left me, I don't give a shit! I'm going to sell off everything I fucking own and go to some other country and live off of my wits, fuck this american life!!!! Fuck you USA, fuck you "career" mindset, I don't need any of that shit, I want to LIVE!!!! But first I will finish this twelve-pack and watch some more bootlegged pro wrestling. Then I will begin preparation for my exciting new existnece!!
a child is undergoing a spiritual ceremony by Bill Brasky	Jul 12th, 2007 10:05:12 AM
Female genital mutilation, commonly associated with parts of Africa and the Middle East, is becoming a growing problem in Britain despite efforts to stamp it out. London's Metropolitan Police, Britain's largest police force, hopes a campaign beginning on Wednesday will highlight that the practice is a crime here. To make their point, police are offering a $40,000 reward for information leading to Britain's first prosecution for female genital mutilation, Detective Chief Superintendent Alastair Jeffrey said. In Britain, the problem mostly involves first-generation immigrants from Africa and the Middle East. Police say they don't have comprehensive statistics about the number of victims. But midwife Comfort Momoh, who specializes in treating them at London hospitals and clinics and who works with police, told the news conference she treats 400 to 500 victims every year. Arranging or carrying out the procedure — in Britain or abroad — is a criminal offense punishable by up to 14 years in prison, but no one has been prosecuted since it was banned under British law in 2003, Jeffrey said. Police estimate up to 66,000 girls in Britain face the risk of genital mutilation. "The timing of this campaign is for one good reason: so we can get in before the summer holidays, a time when young girls are taken abroad and subjected to genital mutilation," he told a news conference Tuesday. Mutilated infants, girls and women face irreversible lifelong health risks — both physically and mentally, according to UNICEF and other charity groups. Authorities believe the number of genital mutilation cases peaks in the summer, because the extended school vacation gives girls more time to recover — thereby making it easier for those responsible to cover up their actions. Female genital mutilation usually involves the removal of the clitoris and other parts of female genitalia. Those who practice it say it tames a girl's sexual desire and maintains her honor. It is practiced by Muslims and Christians alike, deeply rooted in the Nile Valley region and parts of sub-Saharan African, and is also done in Yemen and Oman. Through migration, the practice has spread to Western countries like Britain. U.S. federal law specifically bans the practice. Between 100 million and 140 million women are believed to have been subjected to the practice in Africa and an additional 3 million girls face the threat of female genital mutilation every year, according to UNICEF. Detective Inspector Carol Hamilton, who has been investigating the practice since 2004, said some immigrants in Britain may bring practitioners from their home country to mutilate several children because it is cheaper. She said children not only suffer terrible physical injuries, but can also be left emotionally scarred. Salimata Badji-Knight was mutilated when she was 4 years old in her native Senegal. Now married and living in London, she fears she may not be able to have children because of the procedure. She hopes that by sharing her experiences she can prevent parents from subjecting their daughters to similar abuse. "Why do they need to go and mutilate a young innocent person without her knowing what is going to happen, just for culture?" Badji-Knight said. "It does not add up for me." Somali-born supermodel Waris Dirie survived a traditional form of the practice that kills hundreds of girls each year. French President Nicolas Sarkozy is set to present the "Chevalier de la Legion d'honneur" to her on Thursday for her work as a leading critic of female genital mutilation, which has seen her tour parts of Africa to speak out against the practice.
I am not gay, but John Cena is one fine-looking man. by Daddylonghead	Jul 12th, 2007 10:07:57 AM
If I were gay I would totally go for John Cena especially since he dropped the "Wigger" gimmick. He acutally seems quite funny and charming, I thgink he has at least as much charisma as the Rock, who I NEVER liked. Seriosuly people who boo Cena are just player-hating, he's gotten a consistent push for a reaosn, and that's because he's good at what he does. YOU CAN'T SEE HIM
ANd he's not a bad wrestler. No kurt angle or RVD but by Daddylonghead	Jul 12th, 2007 10:10:12 AM
all this talk about him having only a few moves is ridiculous. the boy has HEART, that match against Umaga in the run-up to wrestlemania was a perfect example. He's a great performer.
You guys thought it would be historically accurate by Lovecraftfan	Jul 12th, 2007 10:10:25 AM
What a laugh. I cant believe any of you are actually surprised that its not historically accurate.
I'll see it, but I'm seeing it stoned. by kinghenryVIII	Jul 12th, 2007 10:33:00 AM
Can't wait for the sabertooth tiger attack.
Quest For Fire by skimn	Jul 12th, 2007 11:30:42 AM
has spoiled me for any other "pre-historic" epics, and damn that Rae Dong Chong made a cute monkey man nymphet. And the mention of Yor, makes me miss when TBS would run Beastmaster 30 times a week...
After "Transformers"... by GenericGeek	Jul 12th, 2007 11:43:07 AM
...I'm jonesing for a dose of Emmerich's fun trash, instead of the depressing, boring garbage that Bay makes. Yes, Transformers left me sad.
Also, I want to see armpit hair on the cavegirls. by GenericGeek	Jul 12th, 2007 11:47:41 AM
Well, not "want, want", but I'm just waiting to see if any director of a period piece will ever have the balls to order his/her actresses to skip the shave in order to show historical accuracy. My bet? Never.
I can safely say I "want, want" to see girls' by Daddylonghead	Jul 12th, 2007 11:53:10 AM
armpit hair. Like at the Claremont Lounge, OH YEAH
All you need to know: Boy befreinds Sabertooth by uberman	Jul 12th, 2007 12:13:31 PM
and let the suckage begin!
I think that's a better title: Boy befriends Sabertooth by just pillow talk	Jul 12th, 2007 12:37:47 PM
Perhaps the pyramids will fly away like in Stargate...
ROLAND EMMERICH FATWA!!!!!!! by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 12:43:28 PM
You know how the Islamic leaders called for Salmon Rushdie's death, well as a devoted follower of Godzillism, this fuck face should be shot into space for applying the title, "Godzilla" to his film. I dont care how gay the Toho films get, at least Godzilla is not a pussy who runs from helicopters in them.
Emmerich sucks... by Beaverduck	Jul 12th, 2007 12:55:40 PM
After "The Day After Tomorrow" I could never bring myself to sit thru another one of his God awful fucking movies.
Feel the hate flow through us.... by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:01:35 PM
Everyone hates this guy for a different film...some say,,FUCK the Patriot, others, man ID4 sucks, I mean that fucking dog leaping from fire into a strippers arms. Me. like I said b4, hes going to hell for turning Godzilla into a girl.
Memories of Dick Party by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:05:32 PM
Im sorry dude, but a dick party between a boy and his cat pet is the tagline as it happens...so take your anti-bestiality sentiments and shove it...we all know the Greeks and Romans were pedophiles, less commonly known is that all prehistoric peoples fucked ANYTHING!!!!
Hey if the orginal can have dinosaurs..... by TVguy4566	Jul 12th, 2007 01:07:42 PM
why can't the remake? But then again, this is probably an unofficial sequel since the first one was One Million Years, BC. I am pretty sure that back in 1966 that scientists knew that humans weren't around a million years ago and that humans and dinosaurs never breathed the same air. That didn't stop producers to put them together back then. Hey if they are all going to speak a language that isn't going to be created for another 11,500 years, why not throw in a couple of T-Rexs and Raptors eventhough they have been dead for a million years. Hey neither the T-Rex nor the Raptor actually existed during the Jurassic Period, but they were both stars of Jurrassic Park. Having a T-Rex or Velociraptor in the Jurassic Period is as historically inacurrate having them in the stone age. Heck, the Velociraptors of the Jurrassic Park movies never existed since most raptors never got bigger than a small to medium sized dog.
Its called Production Design by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:12:14 PM
Here is why you cannot have this movie all over the place with history....if you invest in production design to make the costumes, sets, etc. so " convincing" why make the story behind it rubbish. That is why they should just fart for language or something and be building a pyramid to honor piles of feces, which they consider holy.Then the happenstance history would be equally irrelevant.
Cretacious Park by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:13:17 PM
...is on the Jersey Shore...
Emmerich movie. Interesting trailer.. Movie will suck by Knobules	Jul 12th, 2007 01:27:21 PM
And that one building sure looks like the set he used in Stargate. So now hes copying himself along with everyone else.
Holy Historical Inaccuracies Batman... by crackerfarmboy	Jul 12th, 2007 01:30:25 PM
Sheesh...giant sailboats? Domesticated wooly mammoths in the desert? Cities? Armor? All 12,000 years ago? Could they have at least CONSULTED a paleoarcheologist/anthropologi st? Then again this is Roland "King of expensive shit movies" Emmerich...Him and Bay should form their own production company: "Big, Loud, Expensive, and Plotless". They can call it "BLEP Productions" for short.
Leave Micheal Bay out of This!!! by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:33:09 PM
He has fucking integrity compared to this douche...I mean, at least Optimus Prime isnt pink the way Emmerich turned Godzilla into a pussy...
I like shaky cam by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:34:31 PM
Made it feel like "Saving Private BumbleBee"
Emmerich to film Transformers Remake by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:39:13 PM
Promises to remove anything interesting at all , make the robots pussies who run from danger, and fill it with shitty, unfunny gags like that shit in the patriot with the ink on heath ledgers teeth i mean, id rather see someones balls like in borat than bad gags, at least balls are funny, as it turns out
I SAID INTEGRITY COMPARED TO EMMERICH, DUDE by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:42:34 PM
LORD RANDO STRIKES!!!!
AND.... by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:44:21 PM
I said at least Prime isnt pink or something...although you make a good point about the flames, I was too busy wishing megan fox would transform into a 10 dollar whore....
Slow motion or COOL AS SHIT-motio by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:47:25 PM
what is it like in 300 or the Matrix where the film speeds go back and forth and freeze and lurch back into speed,,, what is it, oh i know visual masturbation. Equivalent to "shit blowing up" If a sixteen year old says woooo, then it must be cool. Long live practical effects. Clash of the Titans!!!!!!
The execs and filmmakers always sit near the plants. by Barry Egan	Jul 12th, 2007 01:47:33 PM
Do you ever notice that? The plant always has a seat right next to the suits and the director?
NO SHIT Egan by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:49:00 PM
WHo the fuck knows what Emmerich looks like anyway? HIs boyfriend? PLANT
Megan Fox by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:51:09 PM
Cum shower, isnt that what BumbleBee did to turtorro? I just foolin man...I know she already was a 10 dollar whore..therefore she would have to transform into something else, say , a pontiac solstice
Good Christ. by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jul 12th, 2007 01:53:40 PM
When did this site get such an influx of nOObs?!?!
Memories of Dick Party by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:55:45 PM
Yeah,,sloppy all the way..right about matrix, was part of the story...i guess i meant more the matrixy style it birthed....That was the worst part of bayformers...i wanted to see more robot, but the rapid cut style left me no time and consequently not paying atention looking for better angles to see more of the designs themselves...
FUCK YOU GAIUS by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:57:00 PM
who the hell are you? King of the old fuck losers whove been chatting away here for years? Fuck off somehwere else.
IS IT GAIUS CEASER OR GAIUS CALIGULA? by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 01:57:54 PM
My moneys on Caligula. Pervert.
I would like to see Trey Parker's puppet version by Barry Egan	Jul 12th, 2007 02:02:29 PM
of Day After Tomorrow. Day After Tomorrow is one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen.
Way to go, LORDRANDO!!! by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jul 12th, 2007 02:03:46 PM
That's the spirit!!! As for which "Gaius", you're wrong on both counts, fucko.
This would be way cooler if Vandal Savage was in it. by superninja	Jul 12th, 2007 02:07:26 PM

When I saw the preview for by Automaton Overlord	Jul 12th, 2007 02:09:10 PM
When I saw the preview for this last night, before Harry Potter, I said "I'll see ANYTHING with sabre-toothed tigers in it!". But now I find out its their pet. Blehhh!
Bingo, Memories-Of-Murder... by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jul 12th, 2007 02:09:47 PM
...you win the gold star. Now, I'll let you go back to your secret man-crush on Michael Bay.
They need to REMAKE Transformers and... by spectrebeeyatch	Jul 12th, 2007 02:12:07 PM
Roland would be a thousand times better than Bay at least it would look good! Transformers should have just been called "A Bunch of People and some robots" because the entire movie was about people no one cared about. The Transformers fight like once at the end while the rest of the movie was bad jokes and pointless characters(Tyrese, Australian Girl). I think Bay watched Roland's Godzilla for inspiration and said to himself "Yeah people care more about paper thin characters then the monsters and robots the grew up with as heroes!" Fuck Transformers and Bay Roland at least has made a decent movie(Stargate). Bay has not.
My gut instinct after seeing this trailer before HP5 by superninja	Jul 12th, 2007 02:16:16 PM
(which kicked butt) was that it has pretty pictures, but I bet the story is treacly. Visually, this made me wish they were making a Howard's Conan flick.
Who is cooler than Victor Mature? by superninja	Jul 12th, 2007 02:18:52 PM
Not anyone in this movie, I can promise you that. His D.C. had 1,000,000 and this one only has 10,000.
Fair enough, Memories-Of-Murder. by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jul 12th, 2007 02:22:19 PM
But no one continuously gripes about Bay (a full week after the release of TRANSFORMERS) in a Roland Emmerich/10,000 B.C. Talkback without hiding a deep, dark secret. Just sayin'.
ALL REDEEMING QUALITIES OF STARGATE by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 02:34:19 PM
...were in the mix long b4 emmerich got his grubbies on it...it is a good one though...so point taken about Bay...although his work for the Playboy channel was fabulous...although ive never seen it..he worked for playboy...a slight plus in his favor...at least he didnt make godzilla a pussy, which cancels anything good out.
PS This trailer sucks ass... by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 02:37:13 PM
But i would still prefer it to that blueballs crap that jj abrams is pulling. fuck him. and fuck his gamera remake.
We need more dinosaur movies... by The Dum Guy	Jul 12th, 2007 03:08:12 PM
My inner child demands quality films with dinosaurs in them.... I one day hope for a direct adaptation of Jurassic Park, rated R of course.
I never thought I would be one of "those"guys by RockLobster800	Jul 12th, 2007 03:08:19 PM
but even if he wasnt that review sounded so plant like you could have put it in a pot. It was little things like "I provided them with my email address so I hope they contact me for future screenings". Sounds like the guys trying to sell me something...
ABRAMS? by LORDRANDO	Jul 12th, 2007 03:19:10 PM
OK..I thought he did something cool i wasnt hip to..but these are his credits? Alias? MI3 sounds like his into horsefaced scientologists....that is a giant L ROn Hubbard wrecking NY?
Another movie coming out about a boy and sabertooth pet by uberman	Jul 12th, 2007 04:09:10 PM
And its called HE MAN, although I think its probably more historically accurate than this shitfest. God Lord, all the guy had to do is be histroically accurate and he would have created a cool friggin movie. But armor? Pet Sabertooths? Beauty queens? Sailboats? Pet mamooths? Pyramids? What a dumb ass.
Emmerich and the Search for Godzilla... by theonecalledshoe	Jul 12th, 2007 05:40:02 PM
Kashmir was destroyed in '98 Godzilla. As for caveman adventures Where's Ringo's + Harrison's Plight to receive one itota or respect from the beatles records instead of it all going to St. John Lennon and Sir Paul?? Furthermore a Captain Caveman movie must be done..if Underdog has one why not the Captain or even Hong Kong Fooey?
Yeah, I want to see Battle Cat on the big screen. by superninja	Jul 12th, 2007 05:47:44 PM
Sue me.
So, the biggest problem is - too beautiful...? by Womb2dooM	Jul 12th, 2007 06:13:55 PM
Well I'm not going to be able to get past that!
my worstest, lamest nerd-bash? here it is: by occula	Jul 12th, 2007 07:06:57 PM
it's not technically 'b.c.' anymore. it's 'b.c.e.' science and natural history don't have anything to do with when jesus was born, so finally somebody realized that qualifying everything around an approximate date of christ's birth was frakking worthless. so, just like it was totally lame for 'the da vinci code' to be named after the town where leonardo was from, instead of the artist himself, we get more people not doing their homework. well done, roland. but hey, i love stargate!
Well, by Lornsorrow	Jul 12th, 2007 07:07:19 PM
I cant stand Independence Day, but this looks like it could be decent.
Yet, by Lornsorrow	Jul 12th, 2007 07:08:52 PM
I'm sure this is not going to be on the level of Quest For Fire (and fantastic, entertaining, thought provoking film in my opinion).
Between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis by kirttawesomio	Jul 12th, 2007 07:59:11 PM
Know, O Prince, that between the years when the oceans drank Atlantis and the gleaming cities, and the rise of the sons of Aryas, there was an age undreamed of, when shining kingdoms lay spread across the world like blue mantles beneath the stars-Nemedia, Ophir, Brythunia, Hyperborea, Zamora with its dark-haired women and towers of spider-haunted mystery, Zingara with itl chivalry, Koth that borderd the pastoral lands of Shem, Styfia with its shadow-guarded tombs, Hykania whos riders wore steel and silk and gold. But the proudest kingdom in the world was Aquilonia, reigning supreme in the dreaming west. Hither came Conan the Cimmerian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, sword in hand, a theif, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his sandaled feet. Just thought I'd mention it.
What's wrong with a movie based on...... by Jimmy Jazz	Jul 12th, 2007 08:17:55 PM
the wackier crypto-archaeological theories out there? It's a MOVIE. I don't mind that part at all. iam more concerned with the fact that it's Roland freaking Emmerich. That guy is like 1 for 5 to me. But Camilla Belle is criminally underrated and deserves our support.
i know, i'm ridiculous by occula	Jul 12th, 2007 08:27:42 PM
leonardo da vinci was from a town called vinci. when people refer to him as 'da vinci', they're using a misnomer, saying 'from vinci', not 'leonardo.' historians refer to him as leonardo because it's his name. i know, nit-picky, but when you spent years studying the man it's fucking annoying, like when people call san francisco 'frisco.' it's one of those things that makes me hate dan brown even more because he's a fuckin hack who didn't even look something up before using it as a goddamned book title. and yeah, that movie blew goats!
Phoenixmagi try looking up "irony" in a dictionary. by Yeti	Jul 12th, 2007 08:47:36 PM
Awwww what happened to your knuckles? Where you walking again?
yummmmy boy but bad movie by ubersnarf	Jul 12th, 2007 09:58:09 PM
Steven Strait shirtless? I'm going to see it. But I have a feeling it will suck mammoth balls. Although it looks like it will suck with well done CGI rather than totally dodgy CGI. Bonus!
300 Neandrathals by Red Ned Lynch	Jul 12th, 2007 11:05:00 PM
Hey, and they got Rip Torn's step pyramid from Beastmaster. And the kid "befriends" a smilodon. Guess we can only hope he also befriends an eagle and a couple ferrets. The terror birds end up coming to save him at the end because the hawk is his friend...hey, is John Amos still alive? Love those saddles they're using. And the bridles. And...well nearly every fucking brain damaged thing I saw. And I haven't forgotten Godzilla. Opened on my birthday, went with a bunch of friends. Yeah, that was a real good time. You know, maybe I could get past all the other crap, The Patriot, The Day After Tomorrow (especially this one because my eight year old daughter loves the scene with the tornados in LA and lets me turn it off right after when it boils up on cable), Independence Day...but that Godzilla nightmare? Nah. Anyway, thanks for trying to make it up to me by doing an inferior remake of Beastmaster for a hundred, hundred and fifty million and sticking on some 300 riffs to try and sell it.
Oh, and hey Gaius. by Red Ned Lynch	Jul 12th, 2007 11:11:22 PM
Long time no read. You know, I would buy a ticket to hear Rip Torn, wearing that big old fake Beastmaster bad guy nose, growl "Arr wants your Spartans!" Or Neanderthals. When it comes to Rip Torn, I'm easy.
people are bitching about inacurate depicitons? by Bouncy X	Jul 12th, 2007 11:31:26 PM
not sure what trailer others saw but this clearly looks like a fantasy movie to me. its not pretending to be some historical acurate depiction. i mean 300 WAS based on history and i didnt see much bitching for the giant rhinos and elephanst in that one. lol
Anyone notice the music.... by closeencounter	Jul 12th, 2007 11:55:47 PM
About 3/4-way thru the trailer? A "monstrous" drum solo starts. If my ancient ears recall correctly, it's part of the drum solo from the studio version of "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida", the classic 60's song from Iron Butterfly. Just an FYI.
Roland E. by darthvedder81	Jul 13th, 2007 12:57:49 AM
"The Patriot" is far and away his best film but that's mainly due to Robert Rodat's script, Mel Gibson & Jason Isaacs performances, Caleb Deschanel's photography and Johnny Williams score.
SO they spontaneously learn English? by IndustryKiller!	Jul 13th, 2007 01:07:22 AM
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Then again this is the same guy who put a crawling freeze that had to be outran by the main characters in a film. I'm proud to say I called that one a full two hours before it actually occured in the film. Well, if Transformers didn't turn the general public into complete fucking idiots this should do the job.
I'm waiting for some scientist to clone a mammoth by Coughlins Laws	Jul 13th, 2007 01:12:44 AM
They have some fully preserved, don't they? I'm waiting for a real life Jurrasic Park with Mammoths and Saber-Tooth Tigers and Do-Do Birds or anything else they have DNA from. THAT would be AWesOMe!!!
This will be brilliant!!!* by abulafia24	Jul 13th, 2007 01:37:46 AM
*Once Mike Nelson does a Rifftrax for it. I can't wait for that. Seriously, I know this is hideously inaccurate (though, are we certain those are the Pyramids and not, say, just a Summerian temple or one of the early ziggurats? Still not accurate, but not as eggregious), but I kinda hope this will help people fight the idiocy to which some subscribe. I wonder if Ken Ham will write a special brochure to "expose" the lies. That would make the movie even funnier.
300 is an artistic interpretation of a historical event by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 01:41:54 AM
This trailer looks like something from National Geographic but with better effects and then some wierd Conan fantasy elements thrown in. I mean, some of the visual imagery is cool, but there is something disjointed about it.
abula, I know that the Egyptian pyramids had by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 01:44:35 AM
gold caps. Honestly it looks sort of Egyptian, it does not look like a ziggurat or Sumerian, they seem to be shooting for Egyptian. I kept waiting for the aliens to show up a la Stargate, but they never materialized.
Way to leak the JJ Abrams Trek plot, Boomers_Lips by BrandLoyalist	Jul 13th, 2007 06:42:21 AM
Loose lips man! There goes all the intrigue!
I would keep Camilla Belle all to myself too by BringingSexyBack	Jul 13th, 2007 06:55:18 AM
She puts Megan Fox to shame. Fox is a skank ho bitch.
Dr. Sanjay Gupta is a cumlicker by BringingSexyBack	Jul 13th, 2007 06:58:46 AM
That is all.
All these gigantic... by Kid Z	Jul 13th, 2007 07:28:25 AM
... incredibly powerful engines of destruction running away from the silly li'l hairless monkeys with their pointy sticks and slingshots. Mammoths were pussies!
Yeah Coughlin... by Kid Z	Jul 13th, 2007 07:31:35 AM
... I hope they clone mammoths, too, but for different reasons. I wanna go to a drive-in and have an order of barbecued ribs so big my car tips over on it's side!
Plickety,.. plickety... by Quintus_Arrius	Jul 13th, 2007 07:33:52 AM
...PLANT. Big tall topical green ones! BringingSexyBack, you are funny and VERY wrong! Fox looks like she smells of sex. I'd take her on more that Camillia - though she is cute too. Hail the smelly-sexy-one!
Red Ned Lynch by Mr. Nice Gaius	Jul 13th, 2007 08:34:14 AM
What's happening? Long time, no read is right!
THIS IS APOCALYPTO WITH MAMMOTHS by BringingSexyBack	Jul 13th, 2007 09:06:28 AM
WTF?
I hated Independence Day by disfigurehead	Jul 13th, 2007 09:25:59 AM
So I will not see this.
Dum Guy... by Kid Z	Jul 13th, 2007 09:29:23 AM
... Direct adaptation of Jurassic Park? With the irritating little girl character with the baseball glove constantly wanting to "play a game of pickle" (WTF???) ...And I mean CONSTANTLY... those were her only lines in the entire book... over and over again. If I was a character in the book... bitch woulda been Raptor Chow within 5 minutes!
BringingSexyBack... Gupta..? by workshed	Jul 13th, 2007 10:05:56 AM
I second that one. What a prick..!
SoylentMean by crackerfarmboy	Jul 13th, 2007 10:06:18 AM
I'm guessing that the film you saw was "Quest For Fire". It's a pretty wild flick, not accurate by today's accounts, but still entertaining and a good attempt.
BSB by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 12:07:15 PM
Fox looked pretty skanky. If I were her I would be kind of pissed at Bay's cinematographer and also the costumer.
No, she's probably fine. She will get a lot more by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 01:34:53 PM
work from TF in the same vein, take her clothes off, and then complain that no one takes her seriously as an actress. She is pretty and her mannerisms even kind of interesting given that the movie itself was a total steaming pile. I had no problem with the actors, just the dialogue, and the characterization, and the direction and the story.
Robert Howard?!?! Try ERB by Elvis Cole Lives	Jul 13th, 2007 01:39:08 PM
If you want the more apt comparison. This 10,000 B.C. plot looks and sounds like every single Edgar Rice Burroughs plot EVER! Which, btw, is just fucking fine with me 'cause ERB still kicks ass.
I don't care if it's a fantasy that's fine, it just by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 02:10:21 PM
seems like of ho-hum, in the vein of the Journey to the Center of the Earth type stories.
Iwas totally interested in this flick... by VinnyMac666	Jul 13th, 2007 02:14:05 PM
until I saw the words Independence Day and then I became weary. Then I saw The Day After Tomorrow and I have completely lost interest. I'm tired of visually stunning films infested with shitty acting and plot. Netflix all the way on this one... (The review didn't help it either...)
Bring Ringo!!!!! by ludmir88	Jul 13th, 2007 02:21:29 PM
Historians will be pleased to talk shit about this film next year. Just like scientists did with the Day after tomorrow.
PULP! by CuervoJones	Jul 13th, 2007 02:24:06 PM
pulp! pulp! pulp! I love pulp epics!
Robert E. Howard´s The Garden of Fear by CuervoJones	Jul 13th, 2007 02:27:55 PM
There is a great mammoth stampede in that story.
Is this for real? by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 02:32:10 PM
"Well after a Mammoth hunt in which he "accidently" kills one, D'leh (Steven Strait) returns to his tribe where he is seen as hero especially by his love, Evolet and his mentor Tic-Tic (Cliff Curtis).But he confesses to Evolet that he killed the mammoth by accident and that he is no great hunter.It is here that we find out that he has doubts about his abilities. Evolet then gives him an inspirational talk." Sounds like something on the CW.
WB network, like Dawson's Creek with mammoths. by superninja	Jul 13th, 2007 04:34:21 PM

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