Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Moriarty Makes First Contact With TRANSFORMERS! The Movie, The Comics, The Books & More!

Here we go... by Pawprint	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:02:02 AM
Eyes down, look in!
Well Now.... by Pawprint	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:08:00 AM
The words of one of the more respected reviewers on this site... "It’s good. And that’s not saying “there are good parts in it,” either. I think as a movie, it knows exactly what it’s doing, it does it well, and it manages to avoid the mistakes that a lot of similar recent movies have made. This is not INDEPENDENCE DAY. This is not GODZILLA. I think this movie can only be a good thing for the world of TRANSFORMERS. I think this movie makes it a much larger cultural icon than it’s ever been before. This is not a toy commercial... and don’t get me wrong... it’s not a film, either. It’s a movie. A really, really fun movie." and "And, no, I’m not a proponent of “turn your brain off and you’ll enjoy it” as a way of approaching films. Never have been.... When I recommend a film, it’s because I genuinely think it delivers on its promise, and in the case of TRANSFORMERS, I think Michael Bay has finally found a perfect fit for his sensibilities." Memories of Murder, BadMrWonka - fine if you don't want to see it; just please stop telling the rest of us why we shouldn't, and why we're stupid because we do. Oh, and close the door on your way out please.
THIRD!!! by Pawprint	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:08:30 AM
I GOT A THIRD!
TF:The Movie is shit yet TINO isn't? by photoboy	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:09:31 AM
Hah hahaha hahaha aha! How much is Bay paying this site again? I mean seriously, couldn't AICN have made it a bit more subtle? Calling TF:The Movie shit is not the right way to build credibility when reviewing a Transformers film.
"The Rock" script flaw? by iamthomas	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:10:33 AM
Could you please elaborate? Thank you.
Happily, IAmThomas... by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:12:56 AM
The first act of THE ROCK is spent establishing that Nic Cage is a chemical weapons expert with little or no field training. He's not good with a gun. He's not a race car driver. He's a guy who knows how to handle dangerous chemicals. So of course, they send him on a mission where he steals guidance chips from rockets, has gunfights, drives car chases, and never once has to actually deal with the dangerous chemicals or do anything to defuse them. It's just stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid, and it betrays the reality it sets up as soon as it finishes setting it up.
good review by GarySparkle	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:13:53 AM
im actually looking forward to seeing this, strange as that may seem.
Photoboy... by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:14:39 AM
... I don't owe Bay anything, and I'm hardly the one you can point to as a Bay apologist. Speaking as someone who just watches these things as movies, and not as someone who spent their childhood glued to the TV and buying the toys... yes. I think TRANSFORMERS: THE MOVIE is a giant piece of shit. I think it's terrible. I think it is downright painful to sit through. And I don't care if you think that's "credible" or not. Again... those nostalgia goggles do funny things to us all at times.
Exactly. by Zappary	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:15:53 AM
Great review Moriarty, sums it up perfectly. The movie rocks, people. Bitter fanboys can go suck it.
An interesting, thoughtful review.. by UltraMeerkat	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:16:30 AM
I'm perplexed by the venomous hatred of the fanboys that lurk around these parts. It's so sad they lack any sense of proportion, or relativity. My god, if that lot react like this to a piece of entertainment, how must they react to something important, like real life?
Still won't be as good as Simon Furman's Marvel Comics by darthflagg	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:17:34 AM
You really should read those if you haven't, Mori. Especially stories like Target 2006. They have the depth and characterisation that you found lacking in the original cartoon and movie. And which I'm sure will be lacking from Bay's film. Still, I'm excited to see it for what it sounds like, a big dumb exciting CGI fest.
FINALLYA SUMMER FILM WHERE U DONT WALF OUT DISAPPOINTED by ARKHAM-MADNESS	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:19:23 AM
Ive seen this film 3 days now and Its been thrilling everytime. The special effects are amaing, the humor works, Shia was great. loved Optimus's herois speeches. You dont cringe at the cheesy moments, you embrace the for how they bring back the joy and thrill of what Transformers was. Michale Bay knocked this one out of the park. Even the people who go in wanting to hat this are going to love it. The best sci fi action Ive seen since Terminator 2, and the first time Ive experienced a true sense of awe and joy at a movie since Lord of the rings finished. This movies going to be huge.
DarthFlagg... by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:20:02 AM
... that's what I hear. And it wouldn't surprise me. As I said, the best characterization in any of the stuff I've encountered this month was in Foster's prequel book, where he was able to really spend time with the robots. I would imagine the comic could do that well, too.
Ah... the old "Sell-out" argument... by Pawprint	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:22:20 AM
The perrenial fall-back position of the true, blinkered 'hater'. I just can't understand it. Films were created to ENTERTAIN; in all manner of ways, and yes, there are films out there that don't. 90% of the reviews of this film are saying - and agreeing - that this film delivers pure entertainment, and warrants repeat viewing - for its entertainment value (not to try and work out what's happening!). What is wrong with people these days? Some people seem to be expecting so much more than ANY film can deliver.
Michael Bay on The Criterion Collection by iamthomas	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:22:27 AM
Dear Michael Bay haters, I´ve given up trying to understand why there´s so much hate when it comes to Michael Bay. Just a thought: Two of his works are represented by the Criterion Collection, "a continuing series of important classic and contemporary films". So next to our Bergman, Fellini and Kurosawa we got our Bay. Why´s that if he´s such a hack? Best regards Thomas
Mori...(re: geography) by Tubbs Tattsyrup	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:24:24 AM
The final half-hour (in the city) is the most incomprehensible action I've seen in years. Megatron is two FEET behind Shia yet Shia manages to get to the top of the building a couple minutes ahead of Megatron? We can't see which robots are which. We don't get much of an Optimus-Megatron battle. It's totally horrible. What happened to Vendatron, anyway?... "Get to the building, Sam!" - why that building and where the fuck was it?) ...still, the transformations made it all worth it for me. I loved the first one and a half hours. The city sequence killed it. BUT then, Optimus's speech brought it back. Liked the movie but really, that sequence should've been much more...uh...good.
You've got the touch! by Zappary	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:25:12 AM
Really, the only good thing about 1986 movie was the CRAZY AWESOME 80s music. You've got the powaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
Ebert gave it three stars. by Nordling	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:26:05 AM
Good review, too.
twice by darwinwins	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:27:03 AM
i've seen it twice now. the movie lost none of its charm and i came to the realization that you actually know what's going on with the action because the cuts aren't as quick -- he takes his time shooting the scenes and editing them.
That was a good review. by PwnedByStallone	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:27:34 AM
Well done Moriarty. Nicely balanced. It's just nice to get an actual review of this film finally. One thing though. how much effort is made to cover Megan Fox's dumb ink?
OPTIMUS PRIME BEATS THE HELL OUT OF EMO SPIDERMAN by ARKHAM-MADNESS	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:30:00 AM
The Robots are up there with Davy Jones, King Kong and Gollum as the most beleivable and incredible CG creations ever. A huge bunch of you will be dissing this movie before youve even seen it. Within the first 20 seconds of the opening sequence youll have a geek grin a mile wide about how cool the movie your about too see is. Transformers is the highlight of this year, weve got the dark knight next year then hopefully a Transformer sequel for 2009. If Bay didnt direct this, and Cameron wasnt available seriously who could have done it better? This film shows just how great at action bay is. He got the humor and tone brillant too. This reminded me of the hey day of 80s flicks like Back to the future.
Pwned... by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:30:01 AM
... she's sort of wholesome and cute in the film. They cover the ink up completely. It's only in real life that she's all sleazy-stripper-hot.
BAYHEM!!!! by Romoehlio	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:31:23 AM
there you go...
RE: "The Rock" script flaw by iamthomas	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:32:31 AM
Dear Moriarty, But it´s never established he´s NOT a car nut, he´s pretty clumsy with a gun (he only has one gun fight as far as I can remember), he does diffuse chemical weapons in the infirmary (I guess his training includes knowing what and where guidance chips are) Best. Thomas
Yuck... by tile_mcgillus	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:32:43 AM
"As it is, it’s like the best fast food meal you’ve ever eaten, genuinely tasty and filling even if it’s not quite nutritious. " I can't eat fast food anymore. Kills my tummy. Same with saccrin popcorn movies. However, if it worked for you. Congrats. I'll be sitting this one out for a while.
If He Can... by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:38:28 AM
... make a jump in quality akin to what Cameron did from TERMINATOR to TERMINATOR 2, then I'd be all for Bay giving us another TRANSFORMERS film. Absolutely. Keep the same producers on, make sure the same checks and balances are in place, and push the writers harder, and it could be great.
Bruckheimer by ARKHAM-MADNESS	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:39:00 AM
Id love to know what Bruckheimer thinks of this movie.
Tubbs, "2 feet" maybe it was a camera trick like in ET by Mace Tofu	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:40:08 AM
when it looked like the MOON was right behind ET & Elliott even though it was 1000's of miles away. Long zoom? Anyway I'll read everyone's bitchin' and see if it's warranted when I catch the movie later this week.
Reviews all round are surprisingly positive by Franklin T Marmoset	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:41:15 AM
Even the language-manglingly awful review in Empire said it was good. I'm pretty surprised by the reactions, and that's good because I'm going to see this no matter what. Not because I like Bay (I don't) or because I give a stuff about some stupid cartoon from the eighties (I don't), but because I spend way too much time here at AICN and I have been brainwashed. Brainwashed! Also, I am hoping I might meet MCMLXXVI there.
Sequel by ARKHAM-MADNESS	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:43:52 AM
Id love to see how they can get action bigger in the sequel. We had action at a military base, on the roads, in the sky, in the desert, the city streets, carparks, power stations, dams. What can they do to up the ante of not just having more robots transforming and fighting in the streets.
Nice review, mate by Col. Tigh-Fighter	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:51:52 AM
But a bit more love of Jurassic, please! I think its one of the best movies ever made, including annoying kids. I totally agree about the T Rex scenes, but the rest of the movie rocks too. Only the Berg would electocute a kid, and the Raptors stalking the kids on the kitchen is just as exciting as the T Rex stuff. Still, coll review.
MCMLXXVI? by Boba Fat	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:52:36 AM
Where are you?
Empire blows. If they liked it I can guarantee I wont by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 06:57:00 AM
HAving said that Mori's review has it still heavily in the rental and watch with shit load of beer pile. BTW Mori has consistently for the last year said he hated the 86 film. It's not a new thing.
“a hundred times cooler than ARMAGEDDON!” by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:00:19 AM
is still shit. Hey Yack, glad you enjoyed it but I can't get over that script. Any news on the MAN CATS?
Not At All, LostProphet by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:01:51 AM
I was a theater projectionist when the '86 film came out, and I sat through it then, mystified by what anyone saw in it. I watched it again this year giving it a fresh chance to work as a movie, and I still think it's dreadful. Oh, well.
Prequel Novel by vampirepacman	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:03:22 AM
..Isn't it "Ghosts of Yesterday", not "Ghosts of Tomorrow." Eh, who cares...
I know. I was saying you've hated it for ages by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:05:32 AM
It's just I only remember seeing that you hated it about a year ago. MAybe after you watched it. Am confusing myself now.
Yeah, that was a good review. by Discosis	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:09:30 AM
Nice one Mori. Honest and forthright. Your feelings match mine - it's not perfect but it's a heck of a spectacle. I had a great time with it. And I've been buying (some of) the toys for years :) ... now why did we get it in Australia a week earlier than the US? (Not complaining)
VampirePacMan by TheRealMoriarty	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:10:21 AM
Nice catch. I got that wrong, and just went back to correct it. Thanks.
"in on the joke" summed it up well, great review by couP	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:14:34 AM

I did read your review by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:16:26 AM
and I understand what you were saying. Hell this might end up in my drunken film pile (along with Flash Gordon, pirhana, Dog Soldiers etc) but I just wince at some of the "jokes". I shouldn't have read the script because I have no attachment to TF. Alternatively, summer 2010- BOY KATZ with adolescent man kat as he struggles to come to terms with growing hair in funny places. Soundtrack by Mcfly. Love interest to be played by 30 something actress Alison Hannygan(sp?) as she fakes being a 14 year old girl. Again. Directed by the Wayans brothers
Spidey 3 was crap by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:17:35 AM
no excuses for that. Almost as bad as SR.
LostProphet by Discosis	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:19:26 AM
... the jokes work far better on screen than they do on the page. The audience I saw it with was often laughing (seriously loud, too) before a line was even uttered.
Upping the action for a Sequel by vampirepacman	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:20:42 AM
For the Sequel they move the action to space! And for the third one, they fight on the edge of a black hole (created after Starscream accidentally divides by zero) and fall into a parallel universe! And for the 4th they go to Hell, where they crossover with the Ghostbusters! Just wait till you see Slimer take on Starscream's Ghost!
Finally... by Daniel_Ackbar	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:30:15 AM
Good work Mori. Some sense at last. A good well thought out review by someone who has seen the film.
Moriarty by Vicenzo	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:32:04 AM
What's the script flaw in The Rock you are talking about?
Sorry you already explained it. by Vicenzo	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:34:11 AM
nevermind
give JLA to Bay, sounds like he's ready by pipergates	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:34:57 AM
Give him the right script & Bay could make superhero action so brutal & beautiful. His style of focusing on the kinetic energy of the action and stylizing and shading his shots is exactly what Superman sorely lacked.
Moriarty, thanks for the review by SeanPerna	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:37:31 AM
I've seen the movie twice and as a huge fan of the source material, I'm very surprised by how FAITHFUL the movie is to its origins. There are references scattered throughout, and it kept the audience applauding from start to end. Even when they invent something new, they base it on existing material. I caught a lot more of the stuff on second viewing, and it clearly shows G1 fans have been involved in the production. TRANSFORMERS is easily more in tune with its origins than a great deal of other comic-based movies, and I'm saying that as a die-hard fan in the presence of the original Prime, Starscream and Jazz in their G1 packaging! Most of the plot holes are either unimportant or can be explained away. My major gripe is the music, which came across super bland to me. Not bad, just boring, uninvolving.
Mace Tofu by Tubbs Tattsyrup	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:39:05 AM
It's not a long-lens trick. Seriously, you've got Shia running along inside a building with Megatron knocking the shit out of the floor right behind him from underneath. Shia is JUST out of reach. Then he gets to a staircase. Looks up the 50-odd floors. Two minutes later, he's at the top of the building, and Mega is not there yet. WTF??
the worrying thing about these MAN CATS spinoffs by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:42:55 AM
is that they are all too feasible. Also coming soon- BIG MAN CAT: 12 semi retarded man cats are locked in a house, made to perform asinine tasks and behave like cretins. Catnip will be supplied regularly to ensure arguments and (hopefully) drunken tabby sex. One will be voted off each week by the audience. Produced by endemol to be aired on Sky1 (or Fox in America). On transformers, I do understand that they are probably less vomit inducing on the screen, but all I will be able to think of is "oh, shit here comes (x bad joke)". MY own fault really and I have (or should have) learnt a valuable lesson about reading scripts. I also hate Bay films.
I still think you're overreacting by Vicenzo	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:51:38 AM
The car chase makes the Mason character less believable. He hasn't been in a car for 30 years yet he drives the Humvee like there's no tomorrow. I liked how the Stanley Goodspeed character was handled. He's FBI. He's had three weeks weapons training. He knows how to fire a gun, but he's hesitant to do so, and this shows in the only scene where he fires a weapon -- in order to save Mason's life. He doesn't engage in a gunfight once, as you wrongly stated. Then there's the chemicals. He diffuses all but two rockets just before he's almost killed. The job he was hired to do. One is fired into the ocean. The last one is diffused by Goodspeed in the lighthouse. I can't see any flaw in the character except the unexpected Ferrari driving skills. Yet the scene is so much fun that I'll happily suspend disbelief.
Just preaching to the choir by Omar B	Jul 2nd, 2007 07:58:12 AM
Just preaching to the choir man, my girlfriend and I have been waiting for this for months and it's finally here! I must admit when the first reviews started rolling in I got concerned about the supposedly unintelligeble story I got the prequel novel and the novelization just to make sure there's nothing I am not totally clear on.
might do that. by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:13:31 AM
But it could get me divorced as the wife thinks this is an utter anathema and symbolic of the decline of western civilisation.
Josh Duhamel and Tyrese for GI JOE! by Demode	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:13:34 AM
If they are smart, they will cast Josh Duhamel and Tyrese in the GI JOE movie when it comes out. Have them play the same characters they play in this movie (but give them GI Joe codenames, of course...) A good way to tie the two movie franchises together.
T2? The Matrix? STAR WARS?!!!!! by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:16:24 AM
Come on! It's not that good. It's just visually arresting. I remember when ID4 came out, and everybody OOOhhhh and AWWWEEEEEDDD at that. I don't think it will be remembered as a classic. Just stupid fun.
"This is 100 times better than Armageddon." by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:21:12 AM
That's not saying much.
"This is 100 times better than eating shit from a can." by kikuchiyoboy	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:25:28 AM
Hee hee. Can't wait. Sounds like a big fun movie.
Damn you Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:29:38 AM
Damn you Michael Bay
Roger Ebert gave it Three Stars by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:32:45 AM
It's actually a really funny, and great review. Be seeing this tommorrow.
Good review, but then Mori has to go and... by dead youngling	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:48:33 AM
hurt my feelings by saying the 1986er was shite. That movie was just a bridge to end the old generation and begin a new one.
dammit i have to wait weeks for this by Mr_X	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:54:57 AM
but thank god this summer is not a complete washout. thanks mori for the review, it kicks all the haters into place. all the threads we've had about the movie it was the same old shit with these guys. they hated it with a venom before they actually saw it and complained about the raping of their childhood just because they read the script. it was so god damm annoying not being able to enjoy the hype without a running battle on why it was gonna be shit. i always had faith that it was going to be the blockbuster of 2007. thanks and to the haters.... you're flogging a dead horse, time to run with your tail between your legs
Yeah, the 86 movie depends on whether you watched the by chrth	Jul 2nd, 2007 08:55:02 AM
show. Didn't watch the show? No point to watching the movie. Loved the show? The movie was f'ing awesome. ARISE RODIMUS PRIME!
Transformers just got 4 * out of 4 in the local paper by The Decider	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:02:44 AM
They must've been bought off too.
*** Buy your tickets early! This flick will open HUGE. by JDanielP	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:03:50 AM
I... can't... wait! And my bucket of popcorn is going to be as HUGE as this movie.
MCMLXXVI is gonna have an Anton Ego moment. by kikuchiyoboy	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:04:41 AM
"There is joy in my life again"
Glasgow gets bombed yet no Orange Homeland Security by BringingSexyBack	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:07:57 AM
Alert? Just goes to show you how fucking evil the Bush Administration was when they were ringing the alert button every other week prior to the 2004 election. What a bunch of treasonous cocksuckers. Back on topic, Transformers sounds like fun. I'm waving the white flag and will go see it Thursday. With my Die Hard ticket though ...
Just got my tickets for the 8 by kikuchiyoboy	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:09:18 AM
Man oh man. It's been a while I've been scared to death of a movie, but at the same time excited. Ever since Phantom Menace and Reloaded it's hard to go in to a movie thinking it's just gonna rock.
"My review will up later today" (translation) by ShallowGrave	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:10:17 AM
Gotta wait to see what the other critics are saying on rottentomatoes before I go out on a limb and give it a positive review
Peter Jackson for JLA. Michael Bay not a bad "plan B". by JDanielP	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:12:51 AM
And everybody should know that there is NO WAY IN HELL that the WB are going to have AMERICA in the JUSTICE LEAGUE title, unless they chose "JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA" ...ONLY...for the USA release. Internationally, it will be "JUSTICE LEAGUE". Count on it. And I called it when the project was first announced.
Ebert said he would've given it Four Stars by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:14:25 AM
But he said they drag out the fight between Optimus and Megatron for too long, and that the movie should've been twenty minutes shorter.
no one was paid off... by Reynard Muldrake	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:18:46 AM
sure, some of you may think that the reviews are a little TOO positive, but if that's the case, it's the added relief reviewers have after the shit overstuffed nonsensical letdowns of the other "proven" franchises this summer - spidey and pirates - so they're adding a little whipped cream to their completely authentic enjoyment of a well done and fun Transformers flick. so shuttup already.
Actually, Bay would be great for JLA by BringingSexyBack	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:19:09 AM
JLA can't be a serious movie like Superman or Batman. It should be an over-the-top ensemble movie, and that's right up Bay's alley.
Joel Siegel died? by PwnedByStallone	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:23:03 AM
bummer.
Optimus (Major Spoiler Alert) by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:26:54 AM
Don't read the New York Times review, if you don't want the ending ruined for you. I'll just tell you that they didn't like it.
JaySmack by JaySmack	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:32:29 AM
"It’s just that this is not that cartoon. They are totally different, with different characterizations, different dramatic arcs, different mythology at play." So in other words, it's NOT Transformers. Which begs the question, why not just call it something else? Bionicle perhaps, because that's what it look like. This site is run by studio Plants and tools. Shameless.
One RT review wrote, "Better than Sex." to describe it by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:32:44 AM
Obviously, he's never had sex before.
To the Brits: Your Homeland Secretary Jacqui Smith by BringingSexyBack	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:34:12 AM
has some big tits.
Zombie ... it's at 70% Fresh, not 99% by BringingSexyBack	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:35:45 AM
That means it's passable. But in a year with POTC3 and Spidey 3, it might as well be Oscar-worthy.
she's also corrupt, useless and pig ugly by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:37:25 AM
big tits are not the be-all and end all
basically, the point is is that by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:39:26 AM
It is a pretty kick ass action film. flawed, but kick ass- just not a lot to do with Transformers. Am I correct?
Is it true by Leopold Scotch	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:39:50 AM
that this doesn't come out in the UK til July 27th, and Ratatouille doesn't arrive til fuckin October? If so, I'm extremely annoyed and demand an explanation.
Good Honest Review by ck37	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:40:46 AM
Have seen the film twice in the past week, Came out in Singapore on the 28th. I think I will sum it up this way, Bay said he had a 150 million to work with here. I bet he used every dime. The CGI Is astounding but I would love to see what he could do with a budget like Spiderman 3 or pirates. I think at the end of the day A larger budget dedicated to CGI would allow a more fleshed out story among the Autobots and Decepticons.
I'm predicting 3,000 posts for this TB by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:43:00 AM
Maybe less if Harry posts a review. But who cares what he thinks? If the movie had been Micahel Bay sitting on a toilet taking a shit, he'd be telling you it was the greatest thing ever.
Moriarty, why don't you like Jurassic Park? by DanDelion	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:50:21 AM
I've seen you slag it a bunch of times, and I'm curious, what's the deal? Since it was pre this site, there's no official review for it, so..?
"If this was just a little by JaySmack	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:51:00 AM
"If this was just a little smarter, a little less based on coincidence and convenience, this would be on par with some of the best work of action cinema." you just got through spending over 15,000 words explaining this pile of CGI-laden dogshit, but you think all it needs a "little" work? The Rock didn't need a little work, did it? How about Pearl Harbor. If you really thing this movie is Transformers, then why did you spend over eight pages of webspace trying to explain how it is? Shouldn't it be obvious this is Transformers? Kiss Bay's ass all you want he's never gog to let you be in one of his movies Mori. This film is shit, and you know it. It will only appeal to retards and "Turn off your brain at the front door" types who appreciate SFX, and nothing else. This movie has exposed why so many movie bloggers are dumb as rocks, and perceptive as a retarded goat. "This version’s convinced me, and if it manages to alienate the fans who have been waiting for this since childhood, that’s a shame. But I think there will be plenty of new fans who replace them." Only if they're as retarded as you. This movie has only ONE thing going for it, it's NAME! If this movie was named anything other than Transformers (which it should be, this is NOT Transformers) we wouldn't even be talking about it. And that "new fans will replace the old ones," bullshit. Oh, is that why so many of these remakes have crashed and burned at the box-office? You're a retarded tool who likes CGI, and as long as the SFX are flashy you'd be drooling over it regardless. You don't know what you're talking about. So STFU! The G1 fans are the reason a movie has even been made, why the frnachise has endured so long. You don't see them making a Beast Wars movie or a Beast Machines movie, do you? Moriarty is a plant, and this site exists to pimp shitty studio flicks in exchange for free swag and a couple of preview screenings.
Trancefarmers: The Movie - for Mori by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:53:51 AM
Great stuff, Zombie Solutions. And Moriarty ... just look at all of ZS's posts. The reason people like Transformers: The Movie, or at least the reason I like it, is because it's totally ridiculous! The Eric Idle robot who owns a planet full of trash? Sharkticons? Ba weep grah nah weep ninny bong. The kickin' 80s soundtrack helps. I mean, the movie's just beggin' to be up there with other cult classics like Blood and Donuts, Redneck Zombies, Wham Bam Thank You Space Man, and Petey Wheatstraw.
Mori... by dead000	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:58:04 AM
Great review.
Yeah, if Bay was given just 20 mil more by kikuchiyoboy	Jul 2nd, 2007 09:58:59 AM
he could have made 20 Citizen Kanes wrapped in a giant robot movie. =)
I am by no means... by DocPazuzu	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:01:11 AM
...a Michael Bay fan. Nor am I a Michael Bay hater. As for the Transformers, they leave me cold. I felt nothing for the cartoon show other than disdain, and like Mori, I think the 1986 movie is mind-bogglingly awful. Do I respect the fanboys' views on the subject? Not really. At least no more than I respect trekkies or furry porn fans. I know this is probably "bad" of me, objectively speaking, but I can't help it. There's just something so endlessly obnoxious about how some of the worst ones have been carrying on here for months. At first I didn't really care, but the more I read of their posts the more I wanted them to be disappointed, because I find the apoplectic rage of fanboys denied to be very funny. If it's any consolation, I find the fury of fanboys who fanatically defend geek properties which I personally enjoy to be equally hilarious. So far, I have heard nothing which has lessened my interest in the film. If anything, Mori's review has even piqued my desire to see it.
shiza by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:02:00 AM
yes, but Troma films (Redneck Zombies) are deliberately bad. TINO is an OK action movie (from all accounts) with some flaws. Not the same at all.
Doc P by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:06:40 AM
that's the thing. I have no attachment to TF either way, but I hated that script with a passion, generally despise Bay films, and thought Murphy's nervous breakdown was apalling. I did think that row about Optimus being a true American hero was ridiculous, and I also thought apologists arguments about why it was going to be great were puerile to say the least. However, Yack & Messi's damascene conversion has actually piqued some interest and Mori's review cemented it. It sounds like it might actually be worth watching with a few beers for a laugh.
The 86 movie was... by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:10:54 AM
TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO! TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO! TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO! TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO! TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO! TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO! TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!TINO!
Lost Prophet: "just not a by SeanPerna	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:12:34 AM
Lost Prophet: "just not a lot to do with Transformers"? Don't know who said that. It's transformers through and through.
I think either Messi or Yack did by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:13:25 AM
forgotten. Sorry. If that is the case then I stand corrected.
Moriarty. I said "Bayhem" by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:17:51 AM
but i got it from someone else here. But i didn't mean that in the chaotic sense, I meant it more humourously. The blackout scene is perfectly directed, the pacing and cutting is just right with the music, and that shot where skorponok pops from blackout's back is pure love. But that long shot of blackout just destroying everything is what blew the fuck out of everyone.
Lost Prophet by BendersShinyAss	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:17:52 AM
Dude, there are moments in this film that are straight out of those first glorius episodes. Standing on the hoover damn, the robots blasting power stations. Workers and general screaming running people. The tag along kids - who actually have a legit story reason for being where they are. And when those autobots are driving through the desert... oh man.... that was transformers reality. Not to mention the actual transforming- that shit is outragously cool. blocky transformers? bahahahahaha!
This reminds me of the scene from Clerks 2 by lost.rules	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:18:21 AM
Randall was right. The cartoon was shitty. HAHA! G1 lovers can SUCK IT!
Fair Enough by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:19:33 AM
I stand corrected. Wish I could remember where I read that now.
not to mention Jazz does the same thing to brawl by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:20:25 AM
as Kup in the animated movie with blitzwing.
Mori was oh so right... by blindedbythelies	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:22:55 AM
...about those nostalgia goggles. I loved Transformers: The Movie when I was a kid, which of course got me to buy the movie on VHS a few years ago (it was a few years ago ok. Relax!). Damn it was bad. Having said that though: BAH WEEP GRAH NAH WEEP NINNY BONG!!!
It's funny... by SeanPerna	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:27:16 AM
There are three camps of haters for this movie: Those that expect it to be "Citizen Kane", those that expect it to be "Transformers: The movie(1986)", and those that go off on some political tangent about toy and car commercials as if that's at all relevant. The rest of us have fun and enjoy TRANSFORMERS this summer.
BendersShinyAss blocky wouldn't work? by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:27:28 AM
watch this. http://tinyurl.com/2cj252
I'm sick of this (SeanPerna) by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:29:22 AM
For the millionth fucking time: WE DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE CITIZEN FUCKING KANE The script (tht I admit was a mistake to read) was sub-retard level. Messi says that it is mostly gone now.
ZombieSolutions by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:32:37 AM
they were aerialbots and they transformed into SUPERION! and Superion actually beat the crap out of Devastator.
Lost Prophet by SeanPerna	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:36:13 AM
hold the f-bombs, I didn't direct that post at you. I read the script today. It's god-awful and has been changed extensively for the movie. Plus most of the rumors of how crappy things were going to be turned out to be unfounded (they never talk of the "energon cube" for example). I think that's where a great deal of the hate is coming from; people making up their minds before seeing the actual movie. Why? You people are just ruining it for yourselves. I limited myself to watching 1 trailer.
What's wrong with this review... by Vadakin	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:36:19 AM
It can be summed in with Mori saying to go read the prequel novel if you want characterisation...now that's just bullshit. You shouldn't have to read a prequel book just to understand who the transformers are, what their relationships are etc It should be done in the movie itself. But with most of the TF's having fuck all to say (especially Decepticons) and the focus being on humans, there was never a chance of that happening. Let me try to put this in words you'll understand... Imagine Spider-Man 3 was actually Spider-Man 1 and the movie had no explanation of how Peter got his powers, how his relationship with MJ developed and had very little detail on the story between him and Harry and why Harry hates him. So Peter is going to propose...Harry shows up as the new Goblin...but actually the first Goblin since there was no Goblin shown before that...and Uncle Ben is dead for no apparent reason except in the couple of vague flashbacks in the movie. Would you write a review that recommended that we read a prequel novel that details Peter and MJ's relationship, Normans time as the Goblin, Uncle Ben's death, the rise of Doc Ock etc? No...you want those stories to be told in the movie. The same applies to Transformers...the rivallry between Megatron and StarScream, the bond that exists between the Autobots...even Megatrons sadistic and cruel nature and unending desire for power and control shouldn't be reduced to a prequel novel...they should be in the movie. I agree with you Mori, TF:The Movie was shit but the one thing the cartoons and comics had was a developed relationship between the transformers...they were the stars and the focus was squarely on them - on who they are and what they represent. TINO may have some cool action, butI honestly can't put my faith in any review or reviewer who basically says "oh the story was shit, the script was shit...but shit blows up so it's a good movie", which is what all these positive reviews are saying. And apart from effects, there is no comparison with Jurassic Park...the T-Rex was the monster in a monster movie...the dinos were there to provide thrills and spills and showcase new technology...but the Transformers are supposed to be living sentient beings who don't just chase humans...they interact with them, talk to them. They have their own feelings and thoughts. Spider-Man is more than just a masked superhero who says fuck all and saves people...he's a person with personal issues and feelings. The fact that I have to go and read a prequel novel to find out who the characters are just shows how wrong the writers of the movie were with Transformers. I don't blame Bay for it actually...the blame lies with Spielberg and the writers. There may be some great action in the film, but it's not Transformers...it's a generic robot action movie...Transformers In Name Only. TINO
Moriarty the animated movie by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:36:25 AM
how could you not not like the scene otpimus does his heroic thing and owns 7 decepticons then fights megatron, it's special because in hindsight it's optimus' final hurrah and he's making way for new (toys) but the way it's constructed, it's done to be special. and then the death scene, one of the most emotional death scenes ever. When does the hero die. When the fuck does Optimus Prime die, impossible.
had too much coffee Zombie? by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:36:33 AM

"in on the joke"?? by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:44:05 AM
I don't get it.
Sean by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:44:13 AM
my main objection to this so far is based on the script- various accounts have said that 80% has been used or bugger all has been used- whatever. However, what I want is some quality- I despise the turn your brain off to enjoy it line of criticism. Maybe I am fucking po-faced, again whatever, but it is possible for a film to be both smart and action packed. I honestly feel that any film that tries to milk "humour" out of a sequence with a dog pissing on a robot, and then later on a robot pissing on someone else is lazy and weak as they are essentially recycling the same lame toilet-wall humour. Fuck it, call me po-faced and perhaps I am getting cynical. I freely admit that I would not think like this if I hadn't read the script, but I just can't get over it. No matter how good Messi says the Starscream sequence is. It does stand a good chance at making it into my films to watch when shitfaced pile (as when in that state my brain doesn't work anyway so all the shit that usually bothers me doesn't), but is that the mark of a good film?
Hotdamn, it might be good!!! by Cameron1	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:47:26 AM
Yackbacker's review had me intrigued, now Moriarty's has me sold. And it sounds like it's Bay who's elevated what is a really lame script...that's pretty shocking but I'm very happy about it.
psyched to see this by Ricky Henderson	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:49:06 AM
argh, why do I have to wait until tomorrow night before I can see this?
ZombieSolutions by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:50:19 AM
Ohh don't get me wrong. I love Devastator and he's one of my all time favourites, just the idea of him is fucking awesome. I love Superion too but Devastator is fucking Devastator.
lost prophet by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:51:38 AM
I have said many times before it's not a leave your brain at the door type movie, that is ID4, this is more entertainment that is fulfilling more like Jurassic Park, but this has robots you get attatched to so more like Spidey 1.
Mori by brassai2003	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:53:15 AM
How could you gloss over those awful scenes with the Autobots SNEAKING around the back yard. C'mon man. this movie sucked. Bumblebee pissing on John Tuturro? This is your idea of a great summer movie. You hit on a lot of the same compliants I had inmy review (which you posted (Greenhouse) thanks dude!) But don't lead people astray. this movie stinks. and will appeal to the base "fart joke" audiance out there. Sad.
I know messi by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:53:29 AM
and the problem is that I shouldn't have read the script. I reread your review and some of the things that bother me are still in there- I think you fell head over heels for the Starscream sequence. Just out of curiosity- were you banned? and if so how did you get back?
TOO SOON!! by Pageiv	Jul 2nd, 2007 10:58:34 AM
Is there a Weird Al song like the first movie?
The script by SeanPerna	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:01:34 AM
I'll give you a small non-spoiler example of how the script has changed. At the start of the movie, you've got a crew of soldiers talking of life "back home". In the script, when one of them mentions his daughter, the other guys tear up and gulp with envy... in the movie, they laugh and mock the dude for acting so emo. That perfectly represents how pretty much every line of dialogue and much of the action has changed for the better in the final product. I don't think a great movie necessarily has to be "smart"; but it needs to be congruent and spirited. Transformers has that. I know all the evidence points against it, but can't you just wait and see for yourself? With every minute you guys spend building up the hate, you'll be less able to enjoy the movie when you get around to watching it. I'm yet to see someone exclaiming "TINO" who have actually SEEN the movie. Look, I have all the UK comics, most of the episodes on DVD, the original movie on DVD, the toys, the posters. I know the lore. I'm a fan, and I say, if you're still going on with the TINO BS after having watched the movie, nothing will please you save for an exact replica of the '86 title.
Jurassic Park by PirateEmery	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:03:53 AM
Mori, I do have to say that your reviews are top-notch. For the most part, I usually end up agreeing with your statements. Your reviews are the reason why I keep coming back to AICN. The part of this review that worked as a checkmate as to whether or not I'd like this movie, lies in the comparison between this and Jurassic Park. Along with the original Star Wars and Indiana Jones, Jurassic Park is one of my most favorite movies of all time. A special part of my childhood is dedicated to dinosaurs, while other kids worshiped superheroes and Power Rangers. I was reading dinosaur books when I was 2, so it isn't much of a stretch to say that this film rocked my world. It took MONTHS to try to convince two parents and a nanny to take a 3 year old into a scary PG-13 movie. Jurassic Park was not a movie to me. It was a shrine, a monument to Dinosaurs. Someone saying that Jurassic Park sucked would be akin to someone pissing on a devout Christian's Bible. This is how hardcore Transformers fans should take this movie. It isn't an adaptation. It's a shrine/monument to an era. Velociraptors are supposed to be 3 feet tall, yet in the movie they are 6 feet tall. Optimus Prime is supposed to be flame-less, yet here he is. So, let's all keep this in mind when we see it today/tomorrow/day after depending on when it opens in your neck of the USA. This is not an adaptation of the comics nor the cartoons. It is a memorial, a culmination.
evidence = I meant early by SeanPerna	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:04:52 AM
evidence = I meant early indicators (toys, cars, bays, etc)
Jurassic Park blew by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:09:22 AM
Heh. Sean- there are still people crying TINO. Check out the big reviews page. I believe you and Messi and co about the changes, but I really wish I hadn't read that script now, as the thought of paying $20 for this makes my skin crawl. I'm being stubborn about this. When I said smart I was being lazy- I actually meant not retarded and not full of plot holes.
No one calls Soundwave un-chrasa-matic! by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:10:52 AM
Just had to throw that iron in the fire. One of my favorite stupid lines from TF: The Movie. I love that movie ... and I do indeed love the judges/rotating skulls ... weren't there three of them (paralleling the Fates?) ... Transformers is all about character for me. The Decepticons were like watching "Time Bandits," but with inept robots who undercut and make fun of each other instead of midgets. People who can't laugh at either of those movies, well ... that's okay. But the new Transformers will be good. It just won't be stupid. Oh, and Cars old-guy routine was totally ripped off from Transformers: The Movie's Kup. He's the original crotchity piece-of-shit car, long before Paul Newman's salad-dressing frothy mouth stole all Kup's good lines ...
Lost Prophet by PirateEmery	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:12:53 AM
You suck.
In fact! by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:13:12 AM
That whole movie plot was stolen from Transformers: The Movie. The relationship between Kup and Hot Rod was the precursor for Pixar's snoozer.
cheers. I didn't say it sucked though by Lost Prophet	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:14:02 AM
Right. Off home (back under my bridge after that dismal piece of blatant trolling)
Wreck-Gar by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:16:08 AM
Speaking in all commercial advertisements ... great! I know there's a nugget of cultural satire somewhere in that ... I just can't muster the energy to bring it out and bolster Transformers: The Movie as a transcendent, oft-misunderstood, piece of fine art!
PirateEmery--I agree by dead youngling	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:18:06 AM
TF is a shrine to my childhood and this movie is a representation of that shrine, but not the whole thing.
TF: THE MOVIE HATERS ... by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:21:09 AM
WOuld you like to beg for your lives? It sometimes helps ... but not often.
I'd love to see a movie that makes me feel something by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:35:37 AM
Let me know when one of those comes along.
The mood music for Unicron ... by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:35:50 AM
was awesome. And Orson Welles can be proud to have made TF: The Movie his last project on Earth. In Heaven, I'm sure he's making a sequel, and God is directing.
It was nice of the Autobots to give the Dinobots a job by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:37:53 AM
I mean, who else would have ... it's good to see that Autobots Human Resources had some spots to fill with mongoloyds. They need work, too.
ARISE RODIMUS PRIME!!! by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:38:33 AM
....Optimus. that was one special moment, still inspiring to this day.
Transformers 2 = Dinobots and DEVASTATOR!!!! by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:41:05 AM
Do it like the dreamwave comic where Devastator just destroys everything. And also have that bit where optimus drives up, transforms in mid air and then shoots Devastator on the chest making him fall down.
ZombieSolutions. by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:44:50 AM
You're a funny guy. If the rest of my day is filled with Rabid Grannies, at least this morning was filled with a million references to ridiculous cartoons.
The only hurdle to that idea ... by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:47:22 AM
Would be for Michael Bay or Hasbro to make a mongoloyd look "cool!" Oh wait ... Bay already did that for Nic Cage. Let the mongoloyd robot toyline begin!
Golden Retriever with an Ice Cream Cone? by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:50:18 AM
Fuckin' ridiculous. And I can't stop thinking about how great it would be to see that on the screen ... in fact, 3 or 4 minutes of it just looking at and slobbering on the camera, stupidly. That would throw off the audience.
Bad Boys 2 is EASILY Bay's worst movie by Razorback	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:51:56 AM
Which just goes to show you that Mori is out of his fuckin' mind. Still, Transformers is probably awesome.
Lost Prophet by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:54:15 AM
i asked moriarty what happened and he fixed it for me since i didn't do anything, my posts got deleted, but i'm back. and yes the starscream sequence is just ahh incredible. the blackout sequence is also incredible, everything you look for in an event movie, put you on the edge of your seat, get your heart racing.
ZombieSolutions hates the fountain by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:55:57 AM
which means I hate him, he doesn't even rate the score which had motherfucking Mogwai. But the cunt does love Children of Men though. CHILDREN OF FUCKING AUTOBOTS!
But can they really do Devastator since he's in this by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:56:54 AM
one as a tank? I suppose if they made him like the head or something like that? Messi your thoughts?
I'll probably be renting the video game tonight by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 11:58:20 AM
maybe playing it will win me over although I'll be a little pained that they got Welker for Megatron in the game but use Weaving for him in the movie, and I still think he sounds like Unicron from the letterman clip.
revsick by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:02:05 PM
I doubt people will notice, and they will totally forget about it by the time he merges and screams "PREPARE FOR EXTERMINATION". Fuck yeah. they will just know him as that motherfucking giant robot.
What the hell is wrong with you people??? by Kloipy	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:02:41 PM
One of Stephen King's great works is about to be murdered by the guy who did Wrong Turn! Where is the uprising?
Mogwai means the movie rules by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:04:02 PM
it's the unexplained rule of life. Mogwai could score the next '...movie series'(epic movie, date movie) and it would be a masterpiece. What's wrong with death is the road to awe, maybe someone who is not a misanthropist who sees no hope in humanity nor existance wouldn't get it. CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN!
I know most people won't care Messi by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:05:04 PM
I was asking more if you also thought he sounded like Unicron, should have been more specific on my part.
Reminds me ... by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:05:41 PM
When my friend and I were coming up with off-the-wall Transformers ... like the second and third string Transformers who don't get their own movie or toys. Toilet bowls. Catapults. Barbara Walters.
Unicron music by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:06:37 PM
when Unicron transforms Megatron into galvatron, that eerie emotional doom music is so embedded in my brain, I heard it when I was 4 and have never ever forgotten it. Optimus' death scene also had great music. But Optimus lives...for the most part. With Flames. So he's hotter than ever.
I don't get it by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:07:52 PM
are you talking about Megatron or Devastator?
And I'm sorry but the Fountain is great film making.. by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:09:45 PM
..also think it's Aronofsky's best work IMO. It's got his trademarks but it's also his most cinematic work. He's always had great scores working with Mansell and Mansell can really utilize talent well ala using Kronos Quartet for Requiem for a Dream.
Megatron with Weaving's Voice... by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:11:14 PM
...sounds like Unicron to me. As far as Devestator I was wondering if you thought they can do Devestator in the sequel with him being in this one as a tank. Sorry still caffening up and waiting for the workers to get in hear so I can let my poor cat out of the bathroom.
Word-up, ZombieSolutions by Yack Backer	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:11:44 PM
It's all about CHILDREN OF MEN. How this site and others in the film geek community don't talk about this movie more is bothersome, to say the least. What's worse is that the Academy and AFI can't fucking process its brilliance. For shame.
Also an amazing flick.... by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:14:09 PM
...I think it's more akin to old school sci-fi like Soilent Green, which I think we need more of. Not that I'm complaining about the Star Wars/Star Trek school of sci-fi, but man it'd be great to get more old school sci fi like that.
Mori continues to be... by eppdude	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:18:40 PM
one of the sole reasons I continue to visit this site. I always love the revs, Mori. Thanks for the good work.
The Haters thing just needs to go away.... by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:19:59 PM
...a hater is someone who is going to bash it and never admit if he/she was wrong and not saying that there aren't any out there. But I do not thing anyone wanted this movie to fail they wanted it to be better than what they were getting. Perhaps better isn't the right word, but I think they wanted it to have more thought into the story/characters and not just stuff splodin pretty. I think most of us who've been labled as haters are more than willing to admit if we're wrong, probably more so than the appologists would be willing to admit they were wrong if the movie does indeed suck.
Fuck you, McWeeny by Frankenblogger	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:20:51 PM
'Transformers: The Movie' is awesome. YOU suck.
The more I think about it... by tile_mcgillus	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:21:20 PM
We, the "haters" or whatever you want to call us, were saying we did not agree with certain directional choices and the disregard for the source material. We felt as if the movie was being treated as a vapid popcorn flick. We were exactly right. Now that doesn't mean we win a prize or get a cookie because the "apologists" knew the same thing. The difference is that they were fine with the direction. It has a lot to do with expectations and what the individual looks for in a movie. Now it is obvious that the majority of people are more than happy to go and sit and enjoy the movie. Even if the story has no meat because they are not going for that reason. Completely understandable. I think I am just underwhelmed with the story aspect. Everyone knew from day one the special effects would be drop dead gorgeous, and the fights....A number 1. We were just worried about the story and its impact...and the "designs". Then when we get answers about things like "Because I said so" (Bay and the flames) it is very disconcerting. So I will not give my money to Michael Bay because of the attitude and approach he took with something I love. I will see it eventually and for free. Just not this week. I still have yet to see DH4. I am a little behind.
I think Sunshine is going to be another great piece of by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:21:29 PM
old school sci fi, very asimov meets clarke. It's like 2001 mixed with The Gods Themselves.
Michael Bay's Transformers > FARSCAPE by Yack Backer	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:23:25 PM

Aronofsky by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:24:51 PM
The Fountain is the director's cock-explosion on screen ... I'm glad he got it out of his system, but someone please rein that man in. With source material, he's good. Without boundaries (and he said not having cash was a boundary, but I don't think so), he just flies all over the fuckin' place. The Fountain was very symbolic, sure, but that doesn't make it good. I once wrote a short story after I'd read too much Thomas Pynchon, and I wanted to just push the symbolism and metaphor to a point where I spent three pages in one room, while one girl was asleep watching shit happen, like pieces of Shredded Wheat bloating in a bowl ... I tried to characterize the passage between life and death in things like the time it takes for water to drip out of a faucet. The end was metaphysical mumbo-jumobo that had no logic to it ... and no real ending. Just an open window into what? The best comment about that story - "art for art's sake - a new take on writing." Most comments about that story - "what the fuck?" I learned my lesson, and I just hope that Aronofsky learns his ... symbolism isn't meant to be manually inserted. It's meant to happen along the way, a happy accident. When you try to make a movie as dense as The Fountain, and in making it, you keep adding different shit that symbolizes an amorphous nothingness, ala death, afterlife, whatever else we don't know shit about or have any reference point to, you get a movie that's fuckin tripping on acid but doesn't really take you any closer to answers at the end. People defend that as art. I say it is indeed art ... art that fails. You didn't see Mark Twain or Ernest Hemingway writing a bunch of lucid bullshit, yet they still made very powerful statements about life and death. So do many artists, and I think Aronofsky is capable of this, but he needs someone to critique him and beat him with a stick first. Children of Men is a good example of a movie that makes a lot of big statements, but does so in a very strict chase-movie format ... Okay. Enough of my ranting. More about the Transformers!
iamthomas by Mattyboy122	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:25:48 PM
You refer to Bay as having films in the Criterion collection as if that means anything? Bay's films stick out like a sore thumb on their list. All Criterion releases come with an essay book, and the essay on Armageddon was written by one of his college professors. And if that isn't bad enough, the essay is totally apologist (and really, desperately reaches to find reasons to consider this film important, like calling Armageddon a celebration of the working man). Furthermore, his professor justifies the selection of the film because it introduces all of the characters at the beginning. So the film does what every film is SUPPOSED TO DO in the beginning. Magnificent. So basically the film was selected for no reason other than Michael Bay probably handing some cash over to inflate his ego. The Rock MIGHT be justifiable (but behind much better action films like Die Hard, French Connection, Wild Bunch, Dirty Harry, etc), but the folks at Criterion are so snobby that their selection of such a low-brow director's work makes the whole thing suspect.
anthony anderson good? by BadMrWonka	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:29:13 PM
come ON Mori, yells at his grandma, does little dances with his brother, makes jokes about the police, eats donuts...he's the worst part of the film! I'll give you this though, this is the first legit role to admit that the military porn actually worked for them. to me it was "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!!" Team America shit, but done for real. this movie was a joke. I'm starting to get how people had "an experience" watching it, and jsut sort of went , "yeah!! AWESOME!! WHOA!!!" but I'm beyond understanding how anyone, especially someone like you whose opinion I respect, can honestly claim it's a good film. I just don't get it.
Yackbacker History will have the final word on COM by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:29:15 PM
remember when blade Runner came out, granted Blade Runner didn't have the film community in pure worship mode but still. The 80's had Blade Runner, the 90's had The Matrix, 00's have CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN! History may also shut up my cousin who said it wasn't a good film, it had holes in the script and the dialogue wasn't good. He then said he loved Blood Diamond and I said "it's ok, it's Edward Zwick, better than Last Samurai but not that good" and he goes "and you liked Children of men?" then I said "you'd get beaten up by filmgeeks for saying that". feed him to the AICN dogs.
um, Transformers the movie was pretty bad by Ricky Henderson	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:29:47 PM
Not sure why it gets so much love, especially since it went and destroyed an iconic character soley for the purpose of selling new toys. The movie is a complete mess--especially the french robots or whatever they were. Leonard Nimoy as Galvatron? Please. A sleepy Orson Welles voicing Unicron? Gimme a break. Rodimus Prime was a travesty. Sorry folks, but that movie almost destroyed the entire franchise.
He didnt' get the original that's fine by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:30:49 PM
I'm not going to begrudge him that, his review is more for the people who aren't well versed in TFs.
Transformers: The Movie is not the right comparison by Jak0lantern01	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:31:03 PM
If we can forget about toys and have to disregard the comics, at least look back to the television series leading up to TF:TM. The cartoon really had some entertaining episodes (Heavy Metal War or The Ultimate Doom, anyone?). TF:TM really was poorly done, I don't know why every critic review insists on going back to it for comparisons.
The Animated Movie by ManosTHOF	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:32:52 PM
The animated movie has a lot of nostalgia for me and I still think it rocks, but it sacrificed the best things about the series (Optimus Prime, Starscream) in order to make the cynical move to liquidate an aging toyline and go on to a new one. I don't believe it captured everything that was good about the series. However, it did have the sense of mortality that the series lacked (except for a few episodes based on Prime near-death experiences). If not for sequences in the film like the Junkions fixing Ultra Magnus with some Turtle Wax, the film wouldn't have undermined itself so much. That scene was something right out of "B.O.T." or "Autobot Spike", among the cheesiest of the episodes of the series....... Mori hit it head on for me when he mentioned Prime being the ethical role model. If Bay's movie gets that right, it would go a long way to winning me over.
The reason they go back to it by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:33:03 PM
is because it's usually their only frame of reference, they were either too old for the cartoon or didn't have kids at the time. So they only thing they have to go off of is the film.
"at my local pharmacy/video store..." by Zarles	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:34:01 PM
LOL. Say hi to Barney Fife for me the next time you get arrested, okay Opie?
The reason they go back to it by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:36:07 PM
is because it's surprisingly adult compared to the normal cartoon, it was dark and desperately hopeless for the good guys and they killed off Optimus Prime, and then the other G1 characters. yeah it was to sell new toys but it was still poignant, to kill off Brawn, Prowl, Ironhide and Ratchet within the first 5 mins was ballsy. Then the wonderful scene of Optimus going to fight Megatron. It's a great animated movie in it's own merits.
Light shows. by Barry Egan	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:36:49 PM
I think Mori hits this nail on the head. These CGI heavy action movies are just elaborate light shows. I would compare it to a fireworks show -- pretty to look at and completely forgotten as soon as it's over.
Im starting to smell the by huggerorange	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:38:12 PM
Im starting to smell the rotting corpse of Spiderman 3..by the end of this week transformer's box office receipts will make the stench unbearable.
Moriarty, what's the script flaw with The Rock? by epitone	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:39:09 PM
As preposterous as the movie is, I generally find the story pretty tight. It's the only Michael Bay movie I've ever seen and, in all likelihood, the only one I will ever see.
I missed the Transformers boat by Mattyboy122	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:41:32 PM
I was too young to get into it,plus I spent most of my childhood watching movies, not TV. But recently I saw the animated Transformers movie and it is pretty awful. The 80's rock, Rodimus Prime, Unicron, etc. However, I can see why some people would still regard it highly for nostalgia's sake (Prime whipping Decepticon ass before he fights Megatron was pretty cool). That said, I won't be seeing Bay's film because I thoroughly dislike Bay and his movies. This has the potential to be his best film solely because of Spielberg's influence, but if Bad Mr. Wonka is right, the Berg's influence dissipates pretty early on. Enjoy the flick if you like...to me it just looks like ID4 with aliens that transform into cars.
Yes, the first 15-20 mins of TF:TM is good by Jak0lantern01	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:42:15 PM
but it's all downhill from there. Maybe the battle against Unicron is ok, but everything in between is gag-worthy and incoherent. Looking forward to seeing Bay's spectacle tomorrow night, though. And yes, the Roger Ebert review is very friendly toward the movie. Hopefully it's not due to the meds he is surely on these days, God bless'm.
OPENING WEEKEND BOX OFFICE? by THE KNIGHT	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:49:18 PM
Care to make any bets here chumps?
Pynchon by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:50:37 PM
You're correct! Pynchon is a fuckin' behemoth of a writer ... with a brain that just runs loops around other people's. All that was frustrating at first, as a guy who thinks he can write pretty well, but then I just realized I wasn't good enough yet to go a-rambling in my stories like Pynchon could. I needed more fundamentals first, but I don't regret trying either ... and I don't think The Fountain will be such a bad thing for Aronofsky, unless he doesn't take the criticism to heart. If he doesn't hear what people think, he'll likely turn into an M Night-scale egomaniac.
Anyone who uses the suffix "-INO" by ledbetter51	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:52:39 PM
...for anything is a douche. It's a stupid, bullshit, lazy non-argument. Sorry, it just annoys the shit out of me. Carry on.
Every. Single. Review. mentions all the flaws. by Horseflesh	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:55:18 PM
I'm just gonna fucking give up on movies. "Good" has never been as subjective as it is these days. I'll say it again, this entire TF fiasco has been a fucking nightmare and if I ever meet Don Murphy or Michael Bay I'm gonna spit in their coke and say, "There, now I ruined something YOU were enjoying."
i'm not sure about COM by Kloipy	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:56:47 PM
it was good social commentary, but i didn't get that affected by it. It may be that I was in a lot of pain when I watched it, or from first hearing about it and then hearing glowing reviews everywhere that my expectations were just too high. It was a wonderful example of direction and cinematography, and yet it just didn't resound with me like I thought it would. Most of the movie was just Clive Owen running around trying to hide the pregnant woman. Then getting shoved through prisons and customs and then running and hiding. People seeing the baby and changing their minds about life. I understand the importance of the message, I just didn't think it was done the right way. I know people will probably will hate me for my opinion, but that's how I feel. Spoilers< the end where Clive Owen dies was so predictable and cheesy. And I thought it was one of the worst endings I had seen in a while.
Douche ... by ye olde shiza	Jul 2nd, 2007 12:57:29 PM
Not to start any arguments, but what's the origin of calling someone a douchebag. It seems to me that being an apparatus that enters the vagina, then squirts all over, would be commended, not condemned ... Unless you're Dane Cook ... it's obvious to see why he calls people douchebags. Because he's homosexical, and a woman's vagina frightens him mortally.
RE: The Rock & Why It Collapses by uss cygnus	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:09:11 PM
Okay...I agree with Mori about the first act of the film and Nic Cage. Where I start to take umbrage in "The Rock" is the fact that the film flatly LIES about American Soldiers being "Left to rot outside Baghdad", and that the only operations Marine Force Recon carries out are "illegal" ones. We have NEVER sent combat troops into China since the commies took over. Not during Korea, not ever. MacArthur was relieved of his command in part because he was NOT allowed to cross the border in Korea to attack the ChiComs. We do not abandon or leave behind our soldiers. Period. End of line. Also, all the laser guidance for our smart bombs in Gulf War 1 were lazed by aircraft or by Navy SEALS or Delta Operators, and all were extracted safely. So, the main argument that Hummel has for committing treason is patently absurd to begin with. Also, an entire platoon of SEALS would not be stupid enough to walk themselves into an ambush as they did in the shower room, walking into a perfect ambush site where an enemy would have an elevated firing position over them, even if they thought they were entering undetected on the prowl. SEALS are smarter soldiers than that. Also, the fact that these rebellious and supposedly disciplined Marines randomly start shooting the SEALS up without a command to fire...And we can also talk about how the Air Force flies F-18 fighters in this film, an aircraft which is exclusively flown by the Navy and Marine Corps...And the fact that artillery and naval gunfire could have easily bombarded the prison structures containing the rockets (who's locations were established by the thermal sat photos in the FBI command cented) into rubble without the Marines being able to defend themselves, and without warning...
alright, I change my mind... by BadMrWonka	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:10:23 PM
Transformers is great. there are no glaring plot holes, the script is not compelte shit, and the pacing is absolutely perfect. what changed my mind? Tegujai Batir when he wrote, "Michael Bay's Transformers > self-pwning haters", the sheer poetry and individuality of it...it's beautiful...and then, as if that wasn't beautiful and persuasive enough, he followed it up with, "Eat crow, retards!"...sigh...so beautiful. so compelling. where did he comes up with haters and subsituting the p for an o in "owned", sheer genius! keep up the good work, kiddo...you'll change the world. one pwned hater retard at a time.
the whole greater than Farscape thing is a bit unfair by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:13:57 PM
One you're talking TV show to Film, plus your talking poorly funded TV show to Large budget film. In it's entire run I don't think the calculated budget of every episode of Farscape came even close to the reportedd 150 million it cost for Transformers. So it's a bit dodgy to compare the two.
wow, uss cygnus by Ricky Henderson	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:14:22 PM
I'd love to hear what you thought about Bay's treatment of NASA in "Armaegddon." That was all factual and true to established aeronautic practices, yes?
Realistically I'm going to hold most of the blame by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:16:53 PM
on the writers and Hasbro on this. Hasbro wanted a new toy line (hence the new designs) fine whatever but I read an interview with the writers that basically said they were getting so much shit thrown at them they couldn't think straight. So they tried to please all interests by adding everything including the kitchen sink into it that had been requested so I lay any blame for the weak story on them. Bay is Bay you get what you expect out of him.
Another Tick For The Shit Column by topaz4206	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:17:18 PM
I was NUTS for the Transformers as a kid. I even cried once when my neighbor got a 3-foot Optimus Prime from Japan. I bought the 20th anniversary DVD a few days ago, and I'm sad to say I had to force myself to sit through it. But that hasn't dampened my spirit -- I'll be at the midnight showing tonight with a flask of Patron in my pocket, and ready for a good time.
by the way, did anyone read the awful NY Times review? by Ricky Henderson	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:20:33 PM
Manohla Dargis is a complete idiot. She goes in with an agenda and gets stuff wrong. Here's what she says: "There, under the desert sun, muscly, sweaty military types (Josh Duhamel, Tyrese Gibson) clash with an ominous helicopter that converts into a mysteriously angry critter with an articulated tail like that of a scorpion." I haven't even seen the movie yet, but isn't that part about Blackout being the scorpion factually incorrect?
Duck Tales:The Movie by Kloipy	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:22:26 PM
Yippee Ki Yay Mother D(quack)ker
Manohla Dargis > FARSCAPE by Yack Backer	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:28:53 PM
Hehe, just kidding Tallulah Backslap. Umm, why A.O. Scott didn't review this movie is beyond me. But nobody really tries with the NYT staff anymore. Anthony Lane actually liked it though... I think...
Fanboy Psych 101 by Cold Winter Wind	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:33:41 PM
"Nostalgia Goggles" finally caused it to click. As a proud fanboy of all things Geek, I realize that the first time I got 'burned' by a movie adaptation of a comic, I kept pickin' at the scab until figured out why I was disappointed with the movie. I mean, it was well made, had good performances, etc., etc.,... - but it still fell short. I realized that the problem wasn't the movie, the problem was my unreasonable expection that the movie would generate the same sense of mind-expanding wonder at the limitless possibilities of what COULD be, not just what IS. I was young then. Now? Not so much.
A.O Scott is an idiot. by messi	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:37:05 PM
how this dickfuck won a Pulitzer is beyond me, basically says any dumb cunt can win won. Such a non objective reviewer.
Heh, but what does David Denby think of it I wonder? by Ricky Henderson	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:37:27 PM
I still remember his laughably bad write up of ROTS. It was like the man had never seen a star wars movie before...
The animated movie... by frostyxc	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:39:50 PM
Is a piece of shit. So what? I guess since I grew up on Mystery Science Theater 3000 and I can have fun watching Z-grade movies that I don't mind admitting that I still like it. The first 20 minutes are awesome, though. I still get chills when the Decepticons jump out of the crippled Autobot ship coming down to Earth and Megatron tells them to attack. The image of all of the jets transforming to go after the Autobots just gets me in the deepest part of my geekzone. As for the new movie, I don't think I will be calling it a piece of shit any time in the next twenty years. It looks good to me. Rock me, Amadeus.
The animated movie is crap except for the attack by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:49:49 PM
on Autobot City which is cool. However, you must admit you need some investment in the characters at that point for it to matter, Mori is right. I don't think Bumblebee pissing on people is a characterization improvement, however.
The animated film had its moments... by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:54:18 PM
I think that had they scrapped the soundtrack it would have helped the tone of it
Lest we not forget... by Christopher3	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:58:13 PM
Ebert loved "Spawn."
oi don't even mention spawn by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:59:47 PM
there's a piece of cinematic afterbirth if ever i seen.
So Mori says, the movie sucks? by Thylacine	Jul 2nd, 2007 01:59:51 PM
‘Cause that's what it sounds like. I'm afraid no one here reviewing this film, gets just how far they've lowered the bar. Don't apologize for dumb movies by saying "Well, the source material was dumb, so it's okay." You slap them in the face and say "No, never again." This could have been a really awesome, Robots on Earth, Robots in space, crazy wild sci-fi movie. Instead we get a movie that thinks Robots peeing on people is funny. That's where the movie-makers' minds are at with this. Piss jokes and breasts. Don't let anyone fool you, this movie is a complete misfire. The only way they think they can save its box-office now is to market it as "remember Jurassic Park, remember the spectacle?" Maybe someone will someday make a Transformers movie about the Transformers, not Shia (I got a hardon for my car) and his amazing pissing car.
The animated film IS crap by PervOmatic	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:02:37 PM
But fanboys will apologize for their nostalgia trips until they are blue in the face. I grew up liking the toys, cartoons, and comics but even back then I was savy enough to realize that it was all marketing.
Bought the Tranformers cartoon movie... by FILMFUNK	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:06:58 PM
For my kid for 3 quid in a bargain bin and he wanted it off after half an hour of messed up, badly drawn confusing waffle and he likes cartoons and is a kid so it must be shiiittte! at least this has shithot effects to gawp at!
I predicted Mori would give this movie a good review. by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:08:41 PM
Just a feeling I had in the tone of his posts prior to its release. He was attracted to it, not repelled! Hahah.
I predicted Mori would give this movie a good review. by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:08:42 PM
Just a feeling I had in the tone of his posts prior to its release. He was attracted to it, not repelled! Hahah.
The 86 movie by Thylacine	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:10:00 PM
At leas the cartoon movie took place all over space. At least it treated the Robots like characters, and centered the story around them. At least the Robots were a diverse group of characters who change (physically and personally) through the film. Sure it was a toy commercial, but at least it new what it was about. “Robots, who are characters, fighting Orson Welles, the planet eater.” It was a cool idea, made only so so with cheap animation (although cooler in concept than the film's designs) and the 80's limited grasp of animation writing. It was sill a better idea than this piece of shit.
He was being awfully condecending to the anti-bay camp by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:10:11 PM
at least imo.
Sorry for the double post. by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:10:40 PM
I'm not claiming he had made his mind up prior to the release like some people do about the people running this site. I am just saying he liked what he saw.
Yes, that's true. by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:13:16 PM
It's because he doesn't care about the source material. He had no stakes in it.
Spawn was better than SM3 and Ghostrider combined by Kloipy	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:14:41 PM
for the Violator scene alone
Re: Armageddon Vs. The Rock by uss cygnus	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:15:13 PM
"Armageddon" is a joke, a ridiculous and implausible comic book fantasy of the highest degree. "The Rock" tries to push itself as a story which is plausible and somewhat it-couls-happen-here realistic. Ergo, I hold "The Rock" to a different standard of criticism than I would "Armageddon". That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
There's still no need to be a dick about it by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:16:35 PM
there's alot of silly things we dorks do but even stuff i find silly as a dork I'm not going to give someone shit if that's their thing.
"This is not a toy commercial... " by jfp2007	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:17:19 PM
It isn't? Have you walked into a Wal-Marts or Targets lately? There is TF movie and non-movie merchandise everywwwwwwwwwwheeerreeeeeeeee !!!!
No, it's a Mountain Dew, Ebay and by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:18:12 PM
Yahoo commercial.
RevSick by superninja	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:19:48 PM
That's because they are defensive about liking the movie.
don't forget gmc by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:19:54 PM
massive product placement, even worse than the joke placement that Mike Myers does in his flicks.
That's silly to me... by RevSick	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:21:32 PM
if you like it just say you like it. Don't try to justify it by calling the other side stupid. Just say it, I liked a bad movie, is it really that hard, hell I thought Bloodrayne was Uwe's best work, I don't need to justify it by calling out video game dorks.
I wish LOTR had product placement by Kloipy	Jul 2nd, 2007 02:22:13 PM
Frodo turns to camera "You know what cools me down after a long day of carrying the One ring to the fires of mount doom? A refreshing Josta!" Then he gives a thumbs up and goes back to licking sam's taint
Animated Rules/New Film Rules--Haters, EAT SLAG! by dead youngling

Talkbacks

Moriarty Makes First Contact With TRANSFORMERS! The Movie, The Comics, The Books & More!