Best would be JEDI.

I will be standing by for spoilers...post at will.

so successful the creator of it said he's do nine in all. Two sequels in the trilogy, than another trilogy after that and a prequel trilogy.

Well, he gave us the triligy, the prequels, two Holiday specials and the clone Wars cartoon show, so that's nine. He lived up to his part of the bargain.

But everything else other than the movie called "Star Wars" was just a toy commercial. "Jedi" was a Muppet movie made to sell teddy bears. And the "Gremlins" dolls were cuter. It's true.

People complain about The force being a genetic mutation in the bloodstream and Anikin buiding C3PO, but Darth, Luke and Leia being one happy family was as bit a retcon at the time. True you know it is to be. Star Wars was a great movie. Not "Part IV", not "A New Hope", just "Star Wars". And, obviously, this goes without saying, but "Han shot first." And forget self defense, he gunned Greedo down to get out of paying a debt. That's how bad-ass the real Han Solo was before he got sealed up in a giant chocolate bar.

I am Boba Fett, the deadliest bounty hunter in the universe, I can only be killed if, oh, I don't know, if a blind man accidentally bumps into me. Yeah, that makes sense. Blind guys are like my kryptonite. Good thing I'm not a Daredevil villain.

The bit with the cantina fight was classic, though.

I totally didn't realize that SO MANY people in the SW Galaxy fell to their deaths.

The Orientation was the best part, besides the Aluminum Falcon...."Pretend that you are choking, getting out of breath..." lol

Yoda is IN HIDING and PRESUMED DEAD twenty years ago. The Emperor isn't necessary in Episode IV for any reason.

2) Padme is never mentioned AT ALL in the entire Original Trilogy, and Vader never references her when confronting the Emperor in ROTJ.

And what do you want? You want Vader to say "And THIS is for Padme!" when he throws Palpatine over the edge? Luke and Leia don't remember her (the "real mother" Leia is remembering is Bail's wife, not Padme) and there's no reason to bring her up.

3) Yoda hides on Dagaboah, Leia hides on Alderaan... but they fuckin' give Luke to the Skywalkers on Tatooine? And have him keep the Skywalker name???

Too few people caught the whole idea to this. Dagobah hides Yoda because of a lot of Dark Force Energy (the cave) which makes it so the Emperor can't sense him there. Leia is NOT as strong in the Force as Luke, and thus was never sensed as a Skywalker in the first place. Luke and Ben are on Tatooine because it, too, has a heavy Dark Force presence from the time when Anakin slaughtered the Tuskin Raiders, and because it's in the one place in the galaxy that Vader has no desire to ever visit again. Keeping the Skywalker name on Tatooine is kind of like keeping the "Nguyen" name in South Korea. No Big Deal.

4) The Force is supposed to be strong in both Luke AND Leia, but they never realize that they're brother and sister?

They never say the Force is strong with Leia. They say the Force runs strong in their family, but Luke is still the one who matches or exceeds Anakin's power levels. Not Leia. This is why she was trained as a diplomat and why Obi-Wan went to be near LUKE, not Leia.

5) Ben turns into a total mind-fucker: "You're father wanted you to have this when you were old enough." Read: "I just happened to pick up your Dad's lightsaber after I chopped off his legs and arm. Here ya go!"

This is no different than half the backwards cultush behavior of the Jedi Order. Luke was fed a lie his whole life, and to tell him all in one swoop "Oh, by the way, your father was actually my apprentice, turned evil, killed your mother, and I had to take him down but he survived and became the most evil man in the galaxy-- Here's his lightsaber." would have knocked Luke on his ass. Kenobi was trying to be subtle and get Luke to go to the Force through hope, not revenge.

5) Uncle Owen doesn't remember C-3PO AT ALL??? He still has the name C-3PO, for fuck's sake!

C-3PO is not his "name", but his MODEL NUMBER. There are THOUSANDS (or more) C-3PO units in the galaxy, from thirty years ago at that point. He's no different than an old car or toaster. If you saw a Ford F-150, would you think it was the exact same Ford F-150 your stepmom owned 25 years ago? Droids are THINGS, not individuals, and they are mass-marketed. Unit designation can be unique, but in C-3PO's case, he was a busted, wrecked C-3PO protocol droid that Anakin found in the junk, and put back together with a few new pieces. He wasn't original, unique, or special beyond being allowed to exist for a long time without a memory wipe (which causes droids to develop personality quirks).

Say it with me: C-3PO is not a name. It's a MODEL NUMBER. That's all. You could walk into a droid shop and find a whole stack of them, I'm sure.

...and it's still goddamn hilarious.

What's up with some folks thinking the whole thing needed to mercilessly rip Lucas in order to be A) funny or B) considered satire?