Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

The Awfulness!! The Hotness!! Behold The Awfully Hot DOA!!

girl power! by just pillow talk	May 29th, 2007 10:32:44 AM
woo-hoo!
Uridium by Uridium	May 29th, 2007 10:34:23 AM
Looks like the worst piece of tat I have ever seen.
Silvio Simac by Coruscator	May 29th, 2007 10:34:48 AM
WILL get an oscar for this film.
straight to Bit Torrent more like it by Batutta	May 29th, 2007 10:34:54 AM
I didn't even make it past the studio logo.
What's exactly fetishistic about Nancy Drew? by SpencerTrilby	May 29th, 2007 10:35:48 AM
at least the "actresses" in DOA are above legal age.
one film to rule them all by Lane	May 29th, 2007 10:37:02 AM
guess we'll have to wait 'til they re-launch this franchise. chris nolan where are you.
awful doesn't begin to describe it by the grasshopper	May 29th, 2007 10:38:14 AM
i saw this back in October of 2006 at a theatre in Korea. it was one of the worst movies i've ever seen. complete waste of time. everyone left the theatre fuming with regret. the performances are horrible, the effects are horrible, damn near everything is ridiculously bad.
Like Karen Sisco once said.. by brock landers baby	May 29th, 2007 10:38:26 AM
Really,who gives a shit?
Already was released in New Zealand, and guess what? by Canada's King	May 29th, 2007 10:38:35 AM
Poor reviews, and bommmmmmmbbbed.
confusion by Blondie Bear	May 29th, 2007 10:38:37 AM
Dude this movie was released last year, its on the shelf in HMV lol
Their tits are nowhere near big enough by Deus Vult	May 29th, 2007 10:40:37 AM
Merrick my man if you've played that game as much as I think you have you know I'm right on the subject to this post. The only reason DOA was ever in my xbox library was b/c of the girls huge knockers. Further to that, their hugs tits is what lead to the DOA Island Volleyball game in the first place! Speaking of which, I'd prefer a movie just of the DOA girls with boobs appropriately monstrous playing beach volleyball all day. I sure wouldn't have a problem sitting through two hours of that!
Jesus, this is some f-ing old news by DynamixRo	May 29th, 2007 10:44:22 AM
Seen this way back in Autumn. The only reason it hasn't been released in the US yet is because it sucks. But that's what you get when you have so many hot chicks in the cast and not even one of them gets naked. :(
SEXTIME!! by wowsah156	May 29th, 2007 10:45:04 AM
Yes now it is for the sextime for my girlies. Yes your sword is very pretty .Now attend to my "special needs"....
Been out ages in Australia too... by Sledge Hammer	May 29th, 2007 10:45:11 AM
...so much so that the dvd is already on price reduction. And no, I haven't seen it, because frankly, who cares?
Shotgun Shoulders by samuraidino	May 29th, 2007 10:45:31 AM
trust me,after youv seen this piece of crap youl know what im talking about....
Looks like Charlie's Angels * 2 - 1 by mysteryperfecta	May 29th, 2007 10:49:58 AM
...for a total of five. At the very least this movie takes place in the same parallel universe (you know, the one with fickle physics and gravity).
The envelope please... by bobster52	May 29th, 2007 10:51:23 AM
And the Oscar goes to- Not to this film. Looks like it was made by a 13 year old.
They should recut this as a Grindhouse flick by Garbageman33	May 29th, 2007 10:53:10 AM
I'm sure it's already got the bad acting and cheesy effects. Just scratch up the film and claim you did the whole thing on purpose. It worked for Tarantino. Well, if you consider $40 million "working".
Ain't It Exceedingly Old News? by newc0253	May 29th, 2007 10:55:31 AM
sweet jesus, even the most cursory glance at IMDB will show that this has been out in the rest of the world for almost 9 months. Hell, the DVD's been sitting on the shelves of my local supermarket for at least the past month or so. I get that it's only just getting released in the States, but AICN is supposed to be way ahead of the curve, not limping far behind it.
too bad by Second Wave Dave	May 29th, 2007 10:56:16 AM
too bad this movie sucks like a mfker
They aren't even that hot by Ninja_Master	May 29th, 2007 10:57:07 AM
The girl that plays Christie is hot, but the others... eh. Especially the one that plays Nina, she's like 45.
I just got off the phone to..... by Superfunhappyslide	May 29th, 2007 11:03:39 AM
Joel Schumacher, his lost his Bat suit and was wondering if anyone had seen it in this movie?
Came Out last year in the UK... by MachineHead	May 29th, 2007 11:05:39 AM
to predictably dreadful reviews...
wow....problems... by HitchCock'n'Balz	May 29th, 2007 11:06:19 AM
If you don't think that Jaimie Presley is hot...then there really is something wrong with u..something terribly wrong
Yeah, Right! by Ironmuskrat	May 29th, 2007 11:06:53 AM
First of all no amount of special effects or clever editing will make me believe any of these bimbos could actually kick anyone's ass. Secondly, I am sure it won't have the one thing that would make me sit through a piece of crap like this,that being gratuitous nudity and sex. Oh well, no doubt I will stumble across this some night on Sci-Fi or Spike tv.
wow, that looks bad... like Uwe Boll bad by TheBaxter	May 29th, 2007 11:10:23 AM
and apparently the only hot chicks in the world are all blondes, according to this movie... except the japanese chick, and i'm surprised they didn't make her blonde too.
WTF? by krodnoc	May 29th, 2007 11:13:42 AM
It's like the internets just had a Lost-style flashback. I tried to watch this while drunk months ago and couldn't get past the 15 minute mark. It's beyond awful.
DOA was downloaded months ago by anyone who was going by Walterego	May 29th, 2007 11:14:07 AM
to watch it. It is far too late to release the movie in theatres.
Two things: by redtom	May 29th, 2007 11:15:34 AM
1) Holly Valance is just plain hot, goddammit 2) This film is just plain garbage, goddammit
Pulp Fiction by PwnedByStallone	May 29th, 2007 11:15:43 AM
Where's Uma's charcater? The one that was good with knives? And the black chick who was an expert in explosives? STUPID.
Damn it. by PwnedByStallone	May 29th, 2007 11:17:46 AM
Dr. Gonzo beat me to it. Nice.
ranma by PwnedByStallone	May 29th, 2007 11:27:54 AM
That chick is spanish???
When did Ain't it Cool start covering pornos? by rbatty024	May 29th, 2007 11:30:59 AM

I love how they're so unimaginative by Garbageman33	May 29th, 2007 11:32:32 AM
That two of the five have the same skill. Unless I'm missing something and a pro-fighter is somehow different than a fighter. Couldn't they have cast hot chicks but then given them Mystery Men skills. For example, what if Devon Aoki was an awesome bowler? And Jamie Pressley was really good with a shovel?
This has been downloadable for almost a year by Prague23	May 29th, 2007 11:33:58 AM
or something like that. Discovered it when I was lookin for the Takashi Miike film, which was on YouTube for a while also, but w/o subs. That's not a confession, just an observation. Judge not lest ye be or something to that effect.
And nobody thought they could top "Street Fighter" by Mr Incredible	May 29th, 2007 11:34:09 AM
For a lame movie based on a videogame. Maybe this should be a double feature with BLOODRAYNE.
If these bitches don't get naked... by Mosquito March	May 29th, 2007 11:34:38 AM
...what's the point?
Hot Chicks With Swords!!!!!!! by lost.rules	May 29th, 2007 11:34:40 AM
That's pretty much it.
I thought by rsanta74	May 29th, 2007 11:38:08 AM
Holly Valance was an Aussie born to Yugoslavian parents. Not hispanic at all, despite having played one on Prison Break.
Is this a joke? What the hell? by Abominable Snowcone	May 29th, 2007 11:38:44 AM
How can you even tell the blondes apart? Jesus, 'actresses' like this should be utilized for porn.
So yeah, is it immature of me to think... by Antonius	May 29th, 2007 11:39:02 AM
None of these chicks have nearly big enough jugs to be in a DOA movie?
Who hired merrick? by bootle2	May 29th, 2007 11:39:54 AM
I mean, this shit was almost news a YEAR ago. It most certainly is not "aint it cool" news. I admit the girls are easy on the eyes however. You know what? Nevermind, merrick rocks!
Devon Aoki=Ugliest Japanese woman by Anna Valerious	May 29th, 2007 11:40:37 AM
I love how Japanese people are beautiful, but she looks like her face is horribly squished. If you want beautiful, I'd say the ladies in Takarazuka, the new Miss Universe Riyo Mori and that girl from "The Last Samurai" are way more beautiful. And also, this isn't a good career move for Jamie Pressley.
Devon Aoki by jae683	May 29th, 2007 11:44:54 AM
Is just plain hot. Sigh.
Ninja Princess? by Kragmose	May 29th, 2007 11:45:49 AM
Come on
The Idiots in Marketing by phaedrus007	May 29th, 2007 11:46:02 AM
No disrespect to Edmund Obrien or Dennis Quaid, but calling a movie "DOA" is like begging for a critical thrashing. Might as well call it "Dead in the Water".
It's not old PEOPLE! DAMN! by GuitarAtomik	May 29th, 2007 11:47:53 AM
If you actually read the article you would know that he tried to watch the movie on Google a few months back before they took it off. The "news" is that it actually has a release date now for U.S. theaters. Jesus people, read!
I watched the entire thing by LouisCedar	May 29th, 2007 11:48:29 AM
on google video and I nearly killed myself afterwords. It was terrible. And while it was somewhat entertaining in it's crappyness, not nearly enough to justify watching it again (or even for the first time). Now if there were some nudity? Perhaps that would have made it slightly more watchable. But not really.
Yeah, the movie will suck. by jae683	May 29th, 2007 11:48:52 AM
But then so did the games. Teenage kids played it for the 'jigglies." "She kicks high!" You know? Oh, and did I say Devon Aoki is hot?
Holly Valance + Sarah Carter by hadez	May 29th, 2007 11:51:45 AM
+ no clothes + a Jello pool = a great movie!! However, this is a shit movie.
What the fuck is Eric Roberts doing in this? by lost.rules	May 29th, 2007 11:52:42 AM
That is him, isn't? And you were so close to redeeming yourself with Heroes. Better rebound with The Dark Knight, Eric.
i'm not fan of the series.... by Bouncy X	May 29th, 2007 11:54:11 AM
but isnt the girl with pink hair asian in the games?
I was actually looking forward to NANCY DREW by BillEmic	May 29th, 2007 11:58:02 AM
Until I saw that the trailer was basically "Harriet the Spy" meets "Mean Girls." Bah. I'd say that "Mulholland Drive" remains the definitive Nancy Drew film for now.
Out on DVD in the UK by supertoyslast	May 29th, 2007 11:58:23 AM
Did it even get a cinema release here? I probably blinked and missed it.
You know what would be better? by Anna Valerious	May 29th, 2007 12:01:28 PM
If they made the Volleyball version of the game into a movie. And if it was directed by the Farrelly brothers.
Damn shame this is the closest to a Ninja Gaiden film by JusticeSabre	May 29th, 2007 12:05:41 PM
...we're ever gonna get.
Fun by ECWaenigma	May 29th, 2007 12:08:41 PM
Had the region 2 DVD of this for 6 months (got it free). Surprisingly, it's a lot of fun and the fight scenes are entertaining. It's like "Street Fighter", but knows it's a turd. There is a volleyball scene and Jamie Pressley was a lot of fun it with Kevin Nash playing her dad. Entertaining more than I ever thought it could be and I'm a 30 year old who's favorite movie is "Vertigo".
DOA? by RenoNevada2000	May 29th, 2007 12:13:53 PM
Which chick has the Edmund O'Brian role?
I can definitely see by 40ozToFreedom	May 29th, 2007 12:19:46 PM
I can definitely see people's girlfriends seeing this trailer in the theater, and making their boyfriends go see it with them.
Is it December again? by Angry Golfer	May 29th, 2007 12:20:35 PM
People have been seeing this since Dec. With that said, they are some sexy girls fighting especially Valance and her accent!
The director of The Transporter?! by mrsinister7381	May 29th, 2007 12:25:15 PM
Holy fucking shit that was awful. I laughed until "from the director of The Transporter" popped up. NO! I thought, DON'T LET THIS BE THE MAN WHO IS DOING "THE INCREDIBLE HULK"!!!!!!! As luck would have it, it isn't. Hopefully this retard won't even be allowed on the set of the Hulk. Why are Asian directors always trying to fuck with my Incredible Hulk?! WHY?!
Can you imagine Jamie Pressley by skimn	May 29th, 2007 12:27:20 PM
after she gives birth, and those milk-filled funbags will be bursting at the seams? Sorry for the juvenalia, butthis is a DOA talkback....
It should've gone straight to DVD by Magical Jew Eyes	May 29th, 2007 12:31:52 PM
Honestly, it's going to open in less than a thousand theaters, receive no buzz, garner universally poor reviews, and leave theaters the next week. At least it's fun to watch at home so you can rip on it with your friends.
saw this last year by Jarek	May 29th, 2007 12:33:24 PM
And even though it is dumb, it knows it is. And is a lot of fun in that really stupid kind of way.
ugh....good lord. by Datascream	May 29th, 2007 12:35:01 PM
it's the "martial arts" version on Charlies Angels. This film is "Dead On Arrival". Har Har Har! I made funny!
I feel bad for Helena... by DocBosch	May 29th, 2007 12:39:14 PM
She's just a "fighter". The other girls are ninjas, or assassins, with adjectives like master and princess. Even the other fighter is a "pro". Poor Helena is just a fighter.
It lasted about a week... by pdennett316	May 29th, 2007 12:40:58 PM
...on UK cinema release, then was shat into bargain bins around the country a few months later. looks like shit, and smells a bit too.
I've got a special fighting move by dramirezs23	May 29th, 2007 12:44:56 PM
I've got a special move, its called the blinding spooge, I don't care what anyone says, I still want to see this if for no other purpose than to see some video game themed TnA.
ERIC ROBERTS?!?!?!? by LHombreSiniestro	May 29th, 2007 12:46:50 PM
I'm sold!!!...ok, not really....
WTF, this has been out on DVD in the UK by DannyOcean01	May 29th, 2007 12:46:53 PM
For a while now.....Am I supposed to feel proud now....
Think this one even made Boll cry.... by PoweredUpPacman	May 29th, 2007 12:48:05 PM
I mean, even the hot chicks in bikini playing volleyball sucked! HOW IN THE SEVEN BLAZES OF HELL COULD YOU FUCK THAT UP?!?!
It has that Mortal Kombat movie feel by Orionsangels	May 29th, 2007 12:48:53 PM
Do these girls boobs jiggle and why does that ugly unusually flat faced asian girl keep getting work?
Here's what happened at the pitch... by The Central Scrutinizer	May 29th, 2007 12:59:23 PM
...ok guys, here's my movie idea. Let's remake "Enter The Dragon" but with hot chicks and also loosely base it on some shitty volleyball video game. I love it!!! Greenlight!
This was on Google video for free months ago. by jrbarker	May 29th, 2007 01:13:15 PM
It is really really bad.
Best Picture nominee! by Pagliacci	May 29th, 2007 01:13:17 PM
I agree, they're not even that hot. Not that they're ugly by any means, but they don't seem that, uhh, "well-endowed" for this movie either. Why can't someone make a great video game-based movie? Is it that hard? Next try butchering Ico, a CG Super Mario, or Zelda. And have Shia LeBouf in all three!
this was released.... by lionbiu	May 29th, 2007 01:13:51 PM
a year ago here in the UK. Watched it and cant remember a minute of it..lots of breasts and ass though.
Godammit! by Dr Dischord	May 29th, 2007 01:21:51 PM
When will we get an honest, realistic, gritty look at the day to day triumphs and struggles inherent in being a Ninja Princess? I, sir, AM a Ninja Princess and there is now way this "movie" tells the our whole story. And when will Hollywood stop glorifying evil deeds of the Master Thieves we all live in fear of? I'm a Ninja Princess, so I'm pretty capable in a staged fight, and I worry about walking down the street with all the Master Thieves running loose out there.
So they waste money on tripe like this and... by Magical Jew Eyes	May 29th, 2007 01:25:28 PM
Guilty Gear STILL hasn't been made into a movie. Boo Urns.
This was a mistake by nicegoogly	May 29th, 2007 01:32:37 PM
I love the DOA series. You can play the game or play with yourself, it really doesn't get better. One would think with all of the great video games that would make great movie premises, and would probably sell for cheap, take a well known fighting game, notoriously light on story, and throw millions at it. I am surprised there was not an anime based on this shit before. Given the breast physics, anime seemed the better way to go with this one. At least we could blame the shitty dialogue on the Japanese. We only have ourselves to blame for this one.
Live action Pac-Man by B0D	May 29th, 2007 01:41:43 PM
would be better than this. Get on it You Ball. DOA is fucking awful. Hot chicks fighting, takes a lot of effort to fuck that concept up. Somehow, they managed it...
This is ME talking about WHAT'S SAD... by Brians Life	May 29th, 2007 01:45:22 PM
There are people who are going to go see this SIMPLY because it's got 4 girls in it that are better looking than the one's they see on a daily basis. These are the same Proto-humans that would pay 10 bucks to see "ANYTHING WITH JESSICA ALBA"...anyone see IDIOCRACY? Not a GREAT movie...but ya ever wonder that we're not too far off from that?
Hulk Smash by OctEgon	May 29th, 2007 01:54:44 PM
Uhhh...Just so we're clear, this is NOT the guy directing the Hulk reboot...right?
Hulk Smash by OctEgon	May 29th, 2007 01:57:26 PM
Uhhh...Just so we're clear, this is NOT the guy directing the Hulk reboot...right?
A Good DOA Flick Would Need... by mordiceius	May 29th, 2007 02:12:22 PM
An R-Rating and excessive nudity IMO. This flick is crap. It's just like any of those teen/college movies that make sexual allusions but are just crap that don't even push the line on ratings. Only good part about the flick is Holly Valance.
I'll stick to porn and Kill Bill by kikuchiyoboy	May 29th, 2007 02:14:06 PM

I saw this movie by s0nicdeathmonkey	May 29th, 2007 02:15:57 PM
and it's WORSE than Kerr Boll.
I cant believe they didnt get by tehgreekhammer	May 29th, 2007 02:44:27 PM
Hulk Hogan to play that chicks father. I mean the character was basically a Hogan rip off from his NWA days. This movie is going to BLOOOW and not in a good way like Mortal Combat did.
bloody awfull by philskynet	May 29th, 2007 02:46:26 PM
its out on dvd in the uk and its sh*t...and i mean SHIT
It was released months ago in my country by CuervoJones	May 29th, 2007 02:54:01 PM
Quite stupid movie, but the girls are hot.
Looks Like Soft Core Porn by God-Man	May 29th, 2007 02:55:40 PM
I won't even bother to watch this on cable.
how and why by El Borak	May 29th, 2007 03:03:52 PM
how and why does this shit get made?
Holly Valance by Dr. Frankenstein	May 29th, 2007 03:05:56 PM
Droooooooool
Are you guys only just getting this shit? by Mr Chuff	May 29th, 2007 03:07:01 PM
Its not even worth one tissue...
WTF? This one arrieved in brazil like five months ago! by Judge Doom	May 29th, 2007 03:07:35 PM
And I had it downloaded from demonoid some time before it, I believe!
No this is no joke by emeraldboy	May 29th, 2007 03:08:05 PM
IT is the only Dvd that I had to stop watching due to its utter shiteness.
I would like to see a hard R Pack Man Movie by dramirezs23	May 29th, 2007 03:11:49 PM
Can you imagine? Pac Man played by a very drunk and loud Joe Piscapoe who is chased by the multi-colored ghosts of the victims he's raped and killed. Later he'll meet up with a 2 dollar whore who has a fetish for cake and blood. She'll eventually disembowel Pac Man and take his Place as Ms. Pac Man
Wilhelm scream by bluebottle	May 29th, 2007 03:11:51 PM
i like how the shittier the movie looks, the more likely you are to hear the wilhelm scream in the trailer for some kind of geek cred... that being said, sarah carter is too talented and hot for this movie.
I would like to see a hard R Pac Man Movie by dramirezs23	May 29th, 2007 03:11:55 PM
Can you imagine? Pac Man played by a very drunk and loud Joe Piscapoe who is chased by the multi-colored ghosts of the victims he's raped and killed. Later he'll meet up with a 2 dollar whore who has a fetish for cake and blood. She'll eventually disembowel Pac Man and take his Place as Ms. Pac Man
Like an empty tin of pear halves by Golitsyn1	May 29th, 2007 03:18:19 PM
a little Lacklustre!
To porn or not to porn? by Subovon	May 29th, 2007 03:30:17 PM
If I watched this flick, I'd get a pair of blue balls big like Saturn. Don't those girls look like they're posing the for the latest Vivid Video Pirates rip-off? Since Harry introduced me to youporn by dropping the site's name in a talk back - way to shut 'em up, Harry - I think I'll tick to that. No pun inteneded.
:-( Golitsyn1 by mordiceius	May 29th, 2007 03:30:36 PM
LOL I am sitting here eating pear halves from a can as we speak. Thank you for making me feel like a lesser man for enjoying them.
Subovon by mordiceius	May 29th, 2007 03:32:02 PM
yeah there is a scene in the beginning where they could have tastefully put nudity in (the FBI busing in on Holly Valance getting out of the shower) but other than that, like I said it's like any other college flick, a big cocktease that should be ignored.
Hope there's 'spolsions!! by StarBlitzer	May 29th, 2007 03:51:26 PM
Did you see the rack on that assassin? It was like WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!
Oops...meant 'splosions by StarBlitzer	May 29th, 2007 03:52:07 PM
Damn ADD...uh, what was I saying again?
Was mildly interested by Volstaff	May 29th, 2007 03:55:46 PM
Till I saw Eric Roberts in it, and I knew it had to be shitty. That guy is the kiss of death for a film.
Thought this had been released LONG AGO. by Prof. Pop-Cult	May 29th, 2007 04:03:14 PM
Weird. I thought that this had been released on DVD months ago and forgotten. Yes, I did catch it on Google Video when someone put it there. I watched it all the way through, and felt like I wasted my time, even though it was less than 90 minutes. Some of the fight scenes were okay.
Officialy the oldest news this site has ever posted. by Grando	May 29th, 2007 04:06:48 PM
Been out in the cinema and out on DVD in the uk for fucking ages.
Someone wants to be competition for Uwe Boll by Durendal	May 29th, 2007 04:15:00 PM
That's what it looks like. This movie looks unbelievably bad. Look out Uwe Boll, you've got competition!
This should've been directed by that guy by skimn	May 29th, 2007 04:15:58 PM
who died a while ago, who always made cheesy action flicks with top heavy Playboy Playmates.
Saw it on YouTube with the rest of the world by BurgerKing	May 29th, 2007 04:18:14 PM
Not like this would make money in theatres but with it already having been on YouTube, it'll make even less. The most horrible part, they promote the sexuality, yet there is no nudity in the movie! WHATS THE POINT!!!!???
I've Said it before nad I'll say it again! by Clonetrooper	May 29th, 2007 04:24:55 PM
If you want to make a really kick-ass movie based on a video-game, you should stop looking at these god damned fighting, violent, bloodfests that run rampant in the video game world today, and take a look at some of the classics. I'm talking about the greatest video games ever created: LucasArts Adventure games. Who wouldn't want to watch a film version of Full Throttle? Or if some visionary director works up the balls to do it, Grim Fandango? These are the games that deserve to be turned into movies. Everything that happens in the games is to further the story. As opposed to the shoot-em-up games that serve only to create shitty action sequences with thinly vieled plots that only serve to set up shitty action sequences.
Eh... by tie3456	May 29th, 2007 04:35:28 PM
Only thing I find intriguing about this is Sarah Carter. Hoo-ray.
Go and get the DVD at any swap meet by brodiemash	May 29th, 2007 04:35:51 PM
This has been out for easily over a year now. Saw it bootlegged out at the good ole swap meet.
Eurotrash: Please STFU by Fico	May 29th, 2007 04:39:26 PM
Nobody cares that the movie was released in Belgium 6 months ago. Just put your Hasselhoff CD back in the player and leave us alone.
Metroid and Castlevania are by Zach_Talks_Back	May 29th, 2007 04:48:58 PM
Metroid and Castlevania are my first picks for VG Movies..... but for some reason the keep making them out of fighting games and horror games.
Ain't It OLD News.... by Tripman5000	May 29th, 2007 04:49:28 PM
!
Peter Jackson for JLA! by UltimaRex	May 29th, 2007 04:50:46 PM
Peter Jackson for JLA.
Oh and since when.... by Tripman5000	May 29th, 2007 04:53:36 PM
...did AICN condone the viewing of PIRATE copies(Google Video??)? I remember the uproar on here when everyone sent in reviews of the workprint of "The Hulk". Which is why I haven't sent in my review of the workprint of"Hostel-Part Two"....fuck it-it's shite!
It's actually kinda fun by photoboy	May 29th, 2007 05:05:58 PM
And Holly Valance and Sarah Carter at least are fun to watch.
Merrick referring to the Eric Roberts / Emma Roberts by CreasyBear	May 29th, 2007 05:21:50 PM
father - daughter relationship, regarding "fetishistic"?
Hey guys, some really 'Cool News' by Hyphin	May 29th, 2007 05:26:34 PM
WB just announced that they are releasing OOTP early, on July 11th, not 13th. I think it's on Comingsoon.net. Anyways, seems more interesting than this. What do you think of that. Are they that confident?
THIS YEAR'S LITTLE MISS BLOODRAYNE!!! by Err	May 29th, 2007 05:27:07 PM
Only with more women but just as crappy.
Deadly Little Miho... by CopOnTheEdge	May 29th, 2007 05:42:55 PM
...shouldn't be allowed to speak dialogue. Me love you long time, but me no speakee english goodee.
This wire fu looks great! by CopOnTheEdge	May 29th, 2007 05:43:51 PM
Almost as good as the first Charlie's Angels from...7 years ago? Flussssshhhhhh...
mordiceius by Subovon	May 29th, 2007 05:53:01 PM
You mean Andy Sidaris movies? Like L.E.T.H.A.L. LADIES: RETURN TO SAVAGE BEACH? (Whatever that stands for, I don't know), or PICASSO TRIGGER? You jogged some long lost Skinemax memories, there, bro. Early 90's existence. I'd just move to the US, and I discovered the cable channel and it's legendarily sleazy schedule... Those flicks had a hypnotic quality to them: like a Cops TV show episode. Can't believe it's so bad - can't believe people actually make this shit up - can't believe I'm still watching it - kind of sit-down... I just looked him up in IMDb, and the man died not three months ago. I think his son keeps the good (cough) name alive. Thanks for the mammaries!
Seen the movie 14 Sept , 2006!!! by wadi77	May 29th, 2007 06:01:22 PM
My god, you guys in the States haven't seen it? Don't bother though, just another crap with girls. Ain't It Old News, indeed.
Why did Russ Meyer have to die? by Spandau Belly	May 29th, 2007 06:04:23 PM
He would've knocked this out of the park!
I saw this film months ago by pjdon	May 29th, 2007 06:10:33 PM
Made me smile all the way through and was also an exscuse to have a big wank.
Looks like Andy Sedaris with a budget. by Barry Egan	May 29th, 2007 06:13:23 PM
If "Malibu Express" had been made with $50 million it would have looked like that.
The Chick From Black Sash Looks Great! by Colier Rannd	May 29th, 2007 06:29:13 PM
Wow, all those hot women...my tv has no speakers so I have to use my stereo...won't be using it when I watch this.
This Steaming Pile of Dog Shite by Fineus Fog	May 29th, 2007 06:33:24 PM
went straight to dvd in New Zealand about 6 months where I hear its only rented by the terminally unemployed with nothing else to do than fiddle themselves into a frenzy over it It doesnt come with a laminated cover either.........
This looks fucking... by Crimson King	May 29th, 2007 06:40:42 PM
DUMB!
I saw this like a year ago by godoffireinhell	May 29th, 2007 06:49:23 PM
dumb fucking flick but it never takes itself seriously so that's OK, right? worth a rental if you get a free six pack with it.
Say, Gus Van Rant, by Subovon	May 29th, 2007 07:10:30 PM
You know Rosie O's a dude, right?
I saw this a long time by Zach_Talks_Back	May 29th, 2007 07:11:09 PM
I saw this a long time ago... so i just had to say that to prove how up to date on nerdy ass shit I am. How dare you post something I deem old, why do I even come here? To say shit is lame and old? Oh yeah I have no life.
This movie fucking sucks by Harry Weinstein	May 29th, 2007 07:15:11 PM
I saw this, and it's punishingly bad. People will try and tell you it's good, brain-dead fun. Don't listen to them, not for a second. They only want you to suffer as they have suffered. TRANSPORTER 2 - now THAT is good, brain-dead fun. DOA is bad, brain-dead, and no fun. The only things that could have redeemed this tripe are graphic sex and graphic violence, and you ain't getting none of that in this movie. Reading Maxim is like reading Playboy, minus the actual nudity and the quality writing. Watching DOA is the cinematic equivalent of reading Maxim - fucking pointless; it's mostly just painfully stupid, and there's way better stuff to jerk off to. This is most definitely not bad enough to be funny, but it's as bad as you can get without being bad enough to be funny, and that might be the worst bad of them all.
Came out awhile ago here... by Tourist	May 29th, 2007 07:18:16 PM
I liked it. It was shit on a stick, but in the same way Crank or The Transporter films were. Very stupid, very asian, and full of hot women. Although, strangely, very tame in the clothed T and A dept. Not enough lingering ass shot and such. But it's not Resident Evil bad or anything.
How exactly does one become a "ninja princess"? by jalfredprufrock	May 29th, 2007 07:23:15 PM
Is their a lengthy interview process?
fuck this movie by roccotheripper	May 29th, 2007 08:06:10 PM
i refuse to ever watch this crap no matter how hot the chicks are.
Another Mind-fuck Captured On Celluloid! by Shub-Wankalot	May 29th, 2007 08:17:04 PM
No really. I shit you not. Only masochists need apply.
Mortal Kombat was a good movie. by spaceworlder	May 29th, 2007 08:35:08 PM
What's with all this historical revisionism concerning the first Mortal Kombat movie? I remember a lot of people liking it when it first came out. Now it seems it's hip to diss Mortal Kombat when talking about video game movies.
wow by Russman	May 29th, 2007 08:37:07 PM
what a piece of crap. It'll make millions overseas though.
Uwe Boll couldn't have made it worse by methosb	May 29th, 2007 08:45:08 PM
it was that bad
This movie was good fun by Power_Girl	May 29th, 2007 08:45:49 PM
So bad it's good...The best of all the video game movies. I saw it last year at the movies.
One question I'd like to ask... by spaceworlder	May 29th, 2007 08:47:46 PM
Who's idea was it to cast a Norwegian chick as Ayane? The character's supposed to be asian.
?????? by spiderwalk007	May 29th, 2007 09:15:22 PM
So... this isn't from Uwe or P.S.?
will it have.. by nolan bautista	May 29th, 2007 09:17:14 PM
..a cum-shot recap on the DVD menu? I feel thats essential..
I the Google Video by Phategod2	May 29th, 2007 09:21:47 PM
this movie is DUMB DUMB DUMB If you think not I hope you cant wait for the fight scene finaly featuring Eric Roberts.
This year's LITTLE MISS WANNABE SIN CITY!!! by StarBlitzer	May 29th, 2007 09:21:58 PM
...hot chicks = check; 'splosions = check; Miho = FUCKING CHECK!!! all the way to the bank...how are you gentlemen!!
this movie makes Mortal Komabt look like the Matrix by Phategod2	May 29th, 2007 09:23:32 PM
or enter the Dragon, SuperNinjas. 36 chambers, Citizen Kane, or any great cinematic masterpiece
..err...this is fucking ancient.. by dekionplexis	May 29th, 2007 09:38:35 PM
..and it sucked..
I thought it was straight to dvd, since... by AlwaysThere	May 29th, 2007 09:39:24 PM
I saw it last December on DVD.
Mortal Kombat rocked. by spaceworlder	May 29th, 2007 09:41:31 PM
You haters suck.
I saw this by McClane_Corleone	May 29th, 2007 09:47:05 PM
When it was called Mortal Kombat. It had less tits then, though.
In all seriousness though. by McClane_Corleone	May 29th, 2007 09:50:57 PM
How does shit like this get the greenlight and yet I still don't have my Halo/Metal Gear Solid movie.
Was this film produced by Maxim magazine? Jeesh. by Bronx Cheer	May 29th, 2007 10:21:38 PM
I saw the trailer in the theater. Shite, pure shite.
What the fuck? I saw this nearly a year ago... by Brundlefly	May 29th, 2007 10:25:40 PM
It's a fairly shit film - there's some nice shots of Holly Valance's very fuckable ass - that's about it. I'm stunned that it's only now getting a US release.....
slow news day? by WolfmanNards	May 29th, 2007 10:32:01 PM
make something up. Dig up an old article.
Does anyone know by Turd Furgeson	May 29th, 2007 11:09:23 PM
If the copy of Harry Potter book 7 that's floating around the web is real?... That's AICN... Not this.
Best Worst Movie ever by Maclovin	May 29th, 2007 11:09:57 PM
This released in Australia last year.. if you wanna see something intelligent and profound, this movie is not for you... but if you wanna see hot girls fighting and playing a 10 minute long volleyball game with slow motion close ups on arse and tits, there's nothing better!!
I'm sorry, I think this looks really fun. by Daddylonghead	May 29th, 2007 11:38:24 PM
Girls in bikinis kung-fu fighting? Come on, if you can't appreciate that, I don't know what to say to you.
It was not fun it was Dumb by Phategod2	May 29th, 2007 11:55:04 PM
there is one vollyball scene this movie is not chock full TnA You do a google image search on any of these chicks and you'll be more satisfied by what you see. I warn all of you do not pay to see this cinematic abortion (and yes I saw it already). the heart of this Game has always been T n A but I thought it would have been a little more graphic and with less camp this movie Reeks of Street Fighter only without the late great Raul Julia. (oh but Eric Roberts takes his place he better check his kool aid for a few months.)
Looks like the acting is D.O.A. by closeencounter	May 30th, 2007 12:00:24 AM
And maybe the movie itself.
Haven't seen it, but...... by Jimmy Jazz	May 30th, 2007 12:14:18 AM
I've seen that clip with the naked Aussie chick on various sites since forever. It looked stupid before I knew where it was from and my knowledge of the source has not improved matters.
Okay, if it's truly awful, I'll skip it. by Daddylonghead	May 30th, 2007 12:20:39 AM
Too bad, the basic concept of girls in bikinis kung-fu fighting seems like a sure-fire winner. I am not a leering maxim-reading kind of guy, but for instance I thought Blue Crush was an amazing movie. Girls in bikinis as the main characters, an exotic locale, excellent. In fact Blue Crush changed my life, and since seeing it, my retirement plan is modelled on Blue Crush. I'm going to retire to Hawaii and live out my remaining years as a beautiful teenage surfer chick who eats nothing but junk food and never gets fat and spends her non-surfing time smoking weed and hanging out with my fellow beautiful teenage surf girls and maybe having the occasional tickle-fight. Although I am a six-foot-two overweight male with bad knees and a busted spine, covered in badly done old heavy metal tattoos, my sheer force of will is going to make this retirement plan possible. You gotta believe!!! Blue Crush is not just a film, it is my destiny.
i thought by ag 721	May 30th, 2007 12:27:38 AM
grindhouse died in the 70's but its back
Oh well. I had fun with it. by emjoi_gently	May 30th, 2007 12:30:44 AM
It's plastic, and uses cliched Matrix editing, but what the hell. I found it kinda fun. What do you want? A Plot? A bunch of hot chicks kick butt. Isn't that enough?
already have movie by mbm1975	May 30th, 2007 12:31:28 AM
i had this movie since december on dvd. i thought it was getting released in december. it wasnt a great movie but the babes looked awesome.
This film was so bad I turned it off with 10 mins to go by Azazyel	May 30th, 2007 12:48:23 AM
I tried to forgive it and go with the flow, but I just couldn't...
AWESOME!! by SkidMarkedUndies	May 30th, 2007 12:59:42 AM
THIS IS SO HOT!!!
Ahem.. by smylexx	May 30th, 2007 01:56:23 AM
Saw this about 8 months ago.. is this news? No, really?
Well ComingSoon.net is also reporting on this... by ElectricDreams	May 30th, 2007 02:30:12 AM
http://www.comingsoon.net/news /movienews.php?id=20693 in fact their story aired AFTER Merricks posted...so the studio must be pushing the domestic US release despite the fact that the rest of the world has been exposed and desensitized to it. No worries Merrick, I got your back! -ED
Devon Aoki horribly miscast in this film... by Monkey_King	May 30th, 2007 03:35:41 AM
and wasn't Christie South American? At least these girls got paid for acting in this miscast video game nightmare.
I liked this film by Franklin T Marmoset	May 30th, 2007 04:53:32 AM
Stupid as hell, but with the best of intentions. Also, hot chicks fighting each other and whatnot. I mean, you'd be pretty damn daft to go in expecting a well-crafted drama with proper acting and the like. It's like a porno, except no-one gets naked or fucked. Wait, that's not like a porno at all...
This was so terrible that by emeraldboy	May 30th, 2007 05:29:27 AM
it stank out my DVD player. and looks like we will be getting DOA 2. Seriously. WE will be getting DOA 2. I hear that Paul ws anderson and UWE boll are fighting it out to direct. at least if Paul Ws anderson does it he can cast his wife, to kick the crap of out of the cast and maybe give them a slap. Just like she to did kurt wimmer.
this film was one giant rip off by emeraldboy	May 30th, 2007 05:41:04 AM
For example the Beginnning was lifted from Hero and the house of flying daggers. but i give points for the fact that the background scenery looked and there were some nice visual moments. but it still stank. Who knew jamie pressly was actually a guy? Kidding but she still looks like one.
Ahem... by smylexx	May 30th, 2007 06:24:14 AM
So if this is 'latest news', then i suppose i'd better let you know that 2000 years ago there was this dude called Jesus who apparently can do a maic trick with three cups and a ball. One to look out for Harry. Oh, and did you know that There's another Star Wars film coming? I believe its gonna be called "The Empire Strikes Back' and apparently there's a big reveal at the end!
Been out here in korea for about a year by Drworm2002	May 30th, 2007 06:40:45 AM
hell, it's been on DVD for about thre e months
Oh and the Korean Poster even says that... by Drworm2002	May 30th, 2007 06:42:20 AM
it comes out in "October 2006"
this has already been seen by everyone by hellnback	May 30th, 2007 06:45:19 AM
damn. what the hell? this movie sux balls like a porn star. already seen it since it was avialable for download on torrents last year. i've had it in my collection for half a year now. this movie shouldn't even be released at all. it's crap, pure pure crap. but one thing i'll admit. the girls are hot.
Welcome to 1802 B.C. by SmashedRat	May 30th, 2007 07:57:28 AM
Say hello to Jesus' great great great great grandpa for me will you.
i'm going to start going to cnn for my movie news. by DAS JANKE	May 30th, 2007 08:10:36 AM
i can't believe AICN is running stories on DOA. this movie is gawd-awful and the quality of the version on google video wasn't bad.
Just get them all in the shower together by Abominable Snowcone	May 30th, 2007 10:50:36 AM
And film it. Anything else is a waste. God didn't make chicks this hot so we could listen to them talk.
Charlies Angels 3 by SlickyVonBoner	May 30th, 2007 12:07:42 PM
Full Ass Throttle. WOW! That looks like the worst movie ever!
oh good christ! by MarlowesDamnHonor	May 30th, 2007 01:11:06 PM
i never exactly had very high hopes for this flick but...jesus fuckin christ. that was just hard to watch. and it has mijo from sin city! those bastards ruined a great character for me.
The Weinsteins? God only knows. by Harry Weinstein	May 30th, 2007 02:10:55 PM
If they had a lick of sense they'd have dumped this direct to video ages ago. If the rights were cheap enough, and they think they can milk a profitable opening weekend out of it without spending a fortune on promoting it, they may actually give it a half-assed release to theatres. The second weekend certainly isn't going to be profitable.
This should've been rated R. by Motoko Kusanagi	May 30th, 2007 02:26:51 PM
Unfortunately it wasn't. DOA 2 please!
hmm... reads speech..disagrees by theonecalledshoe	May 30th, 2007 02:31:53 PM
It's a Jamie Pressly movie. If you can't respect the sweet southern (fill in the blank.) then you should wake up and quit listening to you mother.
As much as I can appreciate by Cold Winter Wind	May 30th, 2007 10:40:07 PM
a moderately hot babe in chaps, with cameltoe'd undies, and edged weaponry, I think I'll give this one a 'Meh'.
The tag line shoul,d not be "Wanna Play?" it should be by Smash Drama	May 30th, 2007 11:01:45 PM
I'D HIT THAT! See, I can be a marketing genius for free.
Thanks, but I already saw MORTAL COMBAT... by TheGhostWhoLurks	May 31st, 2007 02:07:43 AM
and Cleopatra 2025. Ballet-fu STILL sucks.
Okay we get it... by spectrebeeyatch	May 31st, 2007 02:33:17 AM
It came out in UK and most of Europe. Guess what hasn't come out in the States yet. I've never heard of this fucking movie till this post so it ain't so fucking old. Looks awful though they should go Grindhouse style and show this with Hostel 2 even though I'm pretty sure this will be a thousand times better than Hostel 2 still it would have a real Grindhouse feel. Also Mortal Kombat is the shit get drunk and watch that with friends=good times. And the Reptile fight is the shit.
Ahem.. by smylexx	May 31st, 2007 05:17:45 AM
Regardless of wether this is just being seen in the states, this is a movie website. It's purpose is to give you a heads up of new films. There's plenty of coverage of this film, it's not a dark secret that it's out there. Any self respecting journalist, even a web-journo, could've reported this a year ago.

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