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Harry sails along with PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: AT WORLD'S END!!!

Good to hear, Harry by Cheif Brody	May 24th, 2007 02:02:36 AM
Lookin forward to it.
good by conbarba	May 24th, 2007 02:05:25 AM
very good
A cynic might think... by Alonzo Mosely	May 24th, 2007 02:11:17 AM
This review from Harry arrived in perfect time to help weigh against the overall bad buzz this movie is creating, a buzz that might put a dent in those opening numbers... However I am not a cynic, so hoozahh, lets smackle my jib...
Harry, that review was too long... by s0nicdeathmonkey	May 24th, 2007 02:11:35 AM
Not that you can't have a lot to say on a film. Robin Wood gave "It's Alive" 40 pages in one of his many brilliant film theory books, it's just that it shows a distinct lack of discipline to let a review go on for that long. Did you ever take ANY journalism classes?
Sounds great by mmaddox3	May 24th, 2007 02:12:52 AM
and im 4th!...but will it be more harry bs...or has the big guy given it a fair shot
Also is everyone seeing the McDonalds... by Alonzo Mosely	May 24th, 2007 02:13:40 AM
"It's not just a job, it's a career' ads, or is the world trying to tell me something?
Yeh, thats a review. by Seph_J	May 24th, 2007 02:15:10 AM
Harry, this is the only review that reminds me that I want to see this film. Thankyou.
GREAT review, Harry. One of your best in a long time. by BillEmic	May 24th, 2007 02:16:19 AM
Harry puts the kabosh on America's attention-starved critics who don't know a Plot Point from a hole in the ground, and gets me excited to see the movie on opening night, all in one review. Bravo!!!
Switzerland is watching you. :) by Kosmos	May 24th, 2007 02:19:01 AM
Hello, I'm Kosmos. I'm living in Switzelrand and I heard about your website by a newspaper 2 days ago. I like your critic of the 3rd movie of Pirates of the Carabean!
My thoughts on the movie by GobBluth06	May 24th, 2007 02:19:09 AM
I thought the movie was good, but it did have its confusing moments. I understood everything, but some of the people left saying they didn't get some of it. I think the average moviegoer will find the FXs, action sequences, and most everything great, but I think the different plots in the film will confuse people enough to possibly turn them off. I know quite a few people that did not like Dead Man's Chest. I don't think this one will help. I did enjoy it more than Spiderman 3 though. Like I said, I thought the movie was good, but I don't have any real urge to watch it again until the dvd comes out. I do hope they continue the series in some fashion.
Somebody Bless Harry by yodalovesyou	May 24th, 2007 02:19:43 AM
Wow, after hearing all those negative reviews for the film written by supposedly intelligent people (aww, was the film too long and confusing for you), Harry's review, like his one for DMC last year, is like a huge counter weight tipping the balance in favour of the film I've been looking forward too for just under a year now. Thank you Mr. Harry
Come one guys, this review was poorly thought out! by s0nicdeathmonkey	May 24th, 2007 02:21:19 AM
first it's like daffy duck, then it's like star wars. the whole thing is a wash in simile and comparison. Granted, it's still a better review than many a Harry-rant-athon.
This review was well thought out! by J-Dizzle	May 24th, 2007 02:24:00 AM
Good review Harry, nice to see that you've managed to get your act back together.
The short version of the review for SonicDeathMonkey by HEADGEEK	May 24th, 2007 02:32:02 AM
First off - did you know that when STAR WARS first premiered at Grauman's Chinese Theater, that DUCK DODGERS starring DAFFY DUCK premiered before the film. So - Star Wars and Looney Tunes are more closely aligned than you would think. but here's the short version of my review. If you can't sit still to read 1500 words about a film that you may be interested in. Stick to masturbating to YouPorn.Com - little 5 minute spank fests are your entertainment of choice. BTW - that Drunk Chick one is fucking bizarre.
Harry by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu	May 24th, 2007 02:44:48 AM
Absolutely no one needed to know that you are familiar with YouPorn.com
Oh by And Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu	May 24th, 2007 02:45:35 AM
And nice review BTW. ^^;
I approve of this review by Kragmose	May 24th, 2007 02:50:45 AM
Very much.
It's not the review, it's the film that was too long ! by Bellock	May 24th, 2007 02:53:45 AM
Seen it yesterday night (in France) and I really think there's a useless hour in that movie...
Comedy Gold. by Tourist	May 24th, 2007 02:55:26 AM
Just as the critics can't seem to wrap their head's around the Pirates 3 plot, I can never quite decipher what thoughts you are trying to communicate to us through the written word. Good stuff though. I may never be able to understand just what it is your trying to say Harold, but I get a kick out of watching you try to say it. Like watching a chinaman trying to give directions to a frenchman. Perhaps large symbol cards are called for, like those they use to help educate special needs children. Even though I was a little dissapointed that this review was more coherent, and thus less hillarious, than your Super Bad revue it still included some Zingers. Keep it up. If not for me, than for the millions of others who abhor the English language, and wish to see it stomped into the ground by illiterate MTVese style grunts and text message speak. God willing, come the rainy season we will be able to critique the finer points of our popular culture with little more effort than pointing up, or down, a giant foam thumb. I guess there will the elitist few who will insist using words to communicate, but hopefully we can limit that to "Like, fuckin', totally, YES! My balls exploded, fuckin...what...YES!" Oh, the movie? I still haven't made it all the way through the second installment. Although, I did manage to make it two thirds of the way in, on two seperate occasions. The accusations leveled at this film seem to be similar to the issues that prevented me from finishing the second one, namely it being messy. Alot of stuffing, no meat. Just so I don't feel out of place though, I too would like to plough Keira Knightly.
s0nicdeathmonkey, It's a big hollywood pirate movie! by Talkbacker with no name	May 24th, 2007 02:59:01 AM
For fucks sake ,man! That's one of the shortest reviews I've seen here in quite a while and took less than 5 minutes to read! If the 'nephew' bit didn't make you want to go see it you really are on the wrong film site. film theory books, journalism classes? you pretentious little twit!
When will Moriarty and Massa give their POTC 3 analysis by BDuncan	May 24th, 2007 03:00:52 AM
It'd be good to also read the POTC3 reviews from Mori an Massa.
Shock by Fortunesfool	May 24th, 2007 03:01:32 AM
Everyone hates it except Harry.
Hey Harry! Thanks for the heads up about youporn.com!!! by Big_Bubbaloola	May 24th, 2007 03:04:51 AM
Also, audiences really are dumbing down. I recently saw Idiocracy and I predict that 'Ass' the movie will be released in 10 years, let alone 100. I wonder if it would renamed 'Arse' in the UK though???
POTC 3 Sucked... as did the second one by StrideX13	May 24th, 2007 03:08:26 AM
This film is long and bloated. It's not that it's too complicated, it's that it leaves gaping holes all over the place. It doesn't allow things to live up to its potential. But at this point, the crowds are divided on this one. From this point on, there will be two types of people-- those who hold to the first, and those who relish in this horseshit that the sequels have been. YES it has its moments, YES I laughed and at times I even cared a little, but no way is this good filmmaking. I think the thing that most upsets me about Harry's review is he talks about the "Black Pearl" as a modern day Falcon and Sparrow as Solo... and he gets off his ass to tout this crummy film with its poor writing, while he shrugged off "Serenity" as just okay. LAME.
We all deserve better by Captain Katanga	May 24th, 2007 03:27:50 AM
I watched it last night at a packed screening and you could feel the boredom in the room. I cannot believe that what is meant to be a fun adventure film is dragged out to nearly 3 hours, and contains endless scenes of talky meetings. There are about 5 good jokes, and that's about it. I can't believe Harry's review.
Is it (hopefully_ better then the 2nd one? by Blok Narpin	May 24th, 2007 03:29:28 AM
....cause that sucked!
corriejamesunsigned, you said that in the last talkback by Talkbacker with no name	May 24th, 2007 03:36:50 AM
But even if you think you do, so what? This is the last place geeks what to look at people who think they look like depp. I look like Gollum but you don't see me pimping my myspace to people here. There are better and more appropriate places for you to spam your band (I assume it's a band due to the unsigned bit) than here, mate.
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Let's Make A Deal by lmoose	May 24th, 2007 03:54:52 AM
This would have been a better title for the film cause thats all everyone does in the movie. Too much talk and not enough action. What ever happened to fighting yourself out of a bad situation?
1... 2... 3! by metaluna	May 24th, 2007 03:58:23 AM
Wasn't into the first one, kinda liked the second, looking forward to this one!
For the love of God, corriejamesunsigned by henrydalton	May 24th, 2007 04:03:15 AM
FUCK OFF. No one cares.
jack solo by AllieJamison	May 24th, 2007 04:05:49 AM
now..this is interesting. not the only review shedding light on han solo/rotj parallels. i likes the review...but it seems to be slightly forgiving. maybe that's a good thing...
Say Whatever You Want, The Pirates Movies SUCK by grievenom	May 24th, 2007 04:07:06 AM
Bloated, over-long, over-rated, irritating pieces of crap.
Zero taste in movies by Mister McClane	May 24th, 2007 04:18:36 AM
Harry, defending this movie makes me think you have zero taste in movies. The script is rambling, convoluted nonsense, the love story is unconvincing, not one character has any integrity, and therefore cannot be respected, and if you took away the amazing special effects (and the great Zimmer score, though not as good as the second film's score!) you would be left with a movie that no-one would want to see. What was the point of Calypso? Why did boring villan Beckett get the best shot of the movie? What exactly is the deal with Swann and Turner at the end? The Black Pearl is the new Millennium Falcon? GIVE ME A BREAK, that's like comparing Spider-Man 3 to Superman, they just don't belong in the same breath, AND YOU KNOW IT. I don't understand why you have to support what is obviously a poorly thought-out movie.
This movie is a huge fucking pile of shit by Fatboy_Roberts	May 24th, 2007 04:26:10 AM
if the movie is so simple that you only need pay attention to 3 characters, then none of these movies need to be almost 3 hours long with 30 other characters wasting fucking time spinning their wheels going absolutely nowhere as loudly and pointlessly as possible. There is no GLEE in this movie. There is no FUN. There is tortured, laborious setting up of elements that go absolutely nowhere and take entirely too long to get to that point. There is ONE main character, his name is Jack Sparrow, and he's the only one invested with anything resembling a soul. Everything else is vapid, empty ciphers being filled by pretty, banal people who can't act and are given too much to chew through and make palatable. For god's sake at one point Elizabeth Swann gives a bullshit Bill Pullman from Independence Day speech to a BOAT FULL OF PIRATES and they get INSPIRED by her twiggy, screaming heap of bullshit. It looks pretty, it sounds pretty, but it completely nullifies most of two and almost obliterates any memory of how relatively simple and fun part 1 was. The movie is almost irredeemably fucking full of shit. Not magic. Shit and magic are two entirely different things, and hoping that this film will fill your nephew's head in magic is to insult the concept of magic by suggesting you can substitute it with loud, runny logs of shit and things will be just fine.
Aren't "to like" and "to love" actually verbs? by We	May 24th, 2007 05:09:23 AM
Maybe I missed something.
Talkbacker with no name... by Napolean Solo	May 24th, 2007 05:28:16 AM
That's exactly what I was thinking. Journalism classes? What an idiot! Harry that review was one of your best. You have to remember that alot of peeps on this talkback specialize in hate. BTW youporn.com is great. Go there and type in; "Tollo Cristall" You'll come back and thank me.
Talkbacker with no name... by Napolean Solo	May 24th, 2007 05:28:30 AM
That's exactly what I was thinking. Journalism classes? What an idiot! Harry that review was one of your best. You have to remember that alot of peeps on this talkback specialize in hate. BTW youporn.com is great. Go there and type in; "Tollo Cristall" You'll come back and thank me.
This movie is weak!!! by TraumReiter	May 24th, 2007 05:32:48 AM
I was never a real fan of the "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. I liked the first one and thought the second was way better and I really enjoyed it. But number 3 is just bad. Not too complicated to understand but too complicated for this movie. It is just unnessecary! It's a summer blockbuster and I don't want to see pirates and monster talking for 2 hours. A lot of you will be dissapointed.
What direction do you want them to go,in a 2nd trilogy? by Greenflame0	May 24th, 2007 05:35:10 AM
It's pretty obvious (if a 2nd POTC trilogy is made in a few years time) that Orlando and Kiera won't be in it (as they've probably had enough and are also too expensive) and the current screenwriters also probably won't be involved in the writing either, but does anyone have any ideas on what new directions you'd like to see a 2nd POTC trilogy (if there is one) go in, as they're hugely expensive films to make.
Harry, you brown noser by Steve Rogers	May 24th, 2007 05:38:39 AM
a 3 hour pirate movie is total fucking indulgence. And the "naughtiness" of piracy? They're pillagers, rapists and murderers!
First one good, second one... by Bruno Diaz	May 24th, 2007 05:41:21 AM
horrible. This one, not too excited about seeing (2 hrs and 48 mins, Jesus). I like #1 because it was a pirate movie. The second one veered off into being some kind of weird Sarlacc pit sci-fi extravaganza and never recovered. It was also way too long and kind of boring. I don't have high hopes for Pirates 3, and I don't trust Harry anymore because I feel he's become like the kid in Almost Famous, "friends" with the talent he's supposed to be covering. But again, the first one was a lot of fun. Will someone please make a realistic pirate movie along the lines of Master and Commander please? Pirates were and are (in Indonesia, Malaysia and the Phillipines especially) very real, and there's plenty of cinematic adventure to bring to the screen. Blackbeard, the British Navy, the pirates of the Caribbean, all real-life brutal stuff...All without magic and Sarlacc monsters, and all probably much better than the sequels to this now tiresome franchise.
Harry I'm looking for that porn... by TraumReiter	May 24th, 2007 05:43:02 AM
Which one is it exactly? I read your whole review but I also wanna see the DRUNK CHICK! There are a lot of them. I guess I have to watch 'em all!
Only watch the last 10 minutes... by Alex Trevelyan	May 24th, 2007 06:03:31 AM
SPOILER WARNING!!!! Buy a ticket but only go in for the last 10 minutes. Its amazing. Robert De Niro has a cameo as Captain Cook. Its like Sean Connery as Richard the Third in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves. Also Will Turner gets the surprise of his life. Elizabeth Swan pulls a Crying Game on him. His eyes light up. He's delighted. When you think about it makes alot of sense. It may me want to watch all 3 again. Very clever writing. It gives the series great playability. I'd say Neil Jordan will be flattered. Jolly RODGER indeed.
chow yun fat was a waste.... by DarthBakpao	May 24th, 2007 06:15:31 AM
... the story was indeed kind of confusing... but the finale is great, especially regarding Will and Liz... i love it
Another implausible review from Harry by Stollentroll	May 24th, 2007 06:18:43 AM
You lost me when you made me see King Kong, Harry. At World's End sucks big time...and you know it!
The Black Pearl is today's Millenium Falcon by kwisatzhaderach	May 24th, 2007 06:32:47 AM
what the fuck? I can't believe anybody would say anything good about this corporate sludge. On the 30th anniversary of the greatest summer movie ever made how sad that this pile of crap will be astride the box office. Maddening. Oh and I keep saying this but Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley can't act. I can't invest emotionally in balsa.
"This isn't like Spiderman 3" by lost.rules	May 24th, 2007 06:52:47 AM
But didn't you love Spiderman 3 Big Man?
Where's Bruce Willis? by Spandau Belly	May 24th, 2007 06:58:15 AM
Did he give up on that Q&A? I mean, the first round of questions was called 'Round 1', so figured there would be more. But maybe, like Die Hard, there should've only been the first one.
not churned out for profit by filmcoyote	May 24th, 2007 07:10:11 AM
No, I expect like the classic Sony line "we'll keep making Spider-Man movies as long as there are good stories/scripts" Pirates 3 was made with no thought as to making a gazillion dollars! And a seven-year-old Harry? It's an adventure movie, of course he'll love it and not see the flaws. It's like when i took my 4 year-old niece to Happy Feet, she no clue what was going on in the second half with all the conservation message stuff but that didn't matter to her because she'd the perfect age to only see what she needed - dancing Penguins. So when asked what she thought she "loved it" and now has the DVD and NDS game. A 7 year old is only going to see fun and adventure so of course he likes it. That's why Star Wars originals ruled when we were kids but Star Wars prequels sucked when we were adults, because we noticed the crap between the entertaining bits. Sure, we can go back and notice the same crap in New Hope and, especially, Jedi now but we forgive - why? - because our childhood selves remind us they were cool. I have no doubt if I were seven now the wheel-bound sword fight etc in Dead Man's Chest would have helped me forgive the dull, slow, forced first hour but I'm not. And, lastly I promise, this is not the perfect end to this first story because, like Star Wars, Curse of The Black Pearl worked perfectly as a single self-contained story. These sequels were forcibly tacked on. They are essentially a new, second story only loosely a continuation of the first because they insisted on bringing back every last vaguely memory character no matter how contrived it was to jam them awkwardly into the story (I'm looking at you Arenberg, Crook). First defence of S-M3 now this, I'm losing all faith in you Harry. These aren't terrible films but to ignore they have deep routed flaws (especailly in comparison to earlier episodes - and i know you took issue with Venom but you know you let them off light with the massive characterisation abandonment and weak script on Spidey)smacks of cronyism.
Excellent review Harry by ATARI	May 24th, 2007 07:14:19 AM
Thanks for going the non-spoiler route.
kwisatzhaderach's is dead on by filmcoyote	May 24th, 2007 07:16:32 AM
Bloom and Knightley make Vinnie Jones look like Olivier. They are both dreadful. Bloom comes off especially badly in the PIrates movies as he's often sharing the screen with the irrepressably brilliant Johnny Depp. Give up on these two planks Hollywood, look to quality young British and Irish actors like Romala Garai, James McAvoy and Emily Blunt
SonicDeathMonkey by beastie	May 24th, 2007 07:47:54 AM
Are you the guy who, borders on troll, and frequents the Batman boards at IMDB?
What? by Chilli815	May 24th, 2007 08:06:47 AM
Harry, Swann didn't want to marry Will at the start of the first time. Eventually they became an item, but it wasn't as 'ooh, they be in love' as you make out.
amazing review by champrachlin	May 24th, 2007 08:18:19 AM
I'd like to say thanks to harry. ive been reading your reviews for about 3 years now and this is the only one ive felt like was an actual review. Not that im ass kissing but i just think you wrote it very well and it made me extremely excited for a movie that, if the trend follows the last 2 3rd movies, wont be good. but im pulling for it and im hpoping it will be good because i love this series
I can't believe this movie is 3 hours and 5 minutes by Mr Incredible	May 24th, 2007 08:42:32 AM
I hope it is entertaining. Either a lot's going on or that's some pretty long end credits.
I just got off the phone w/Johnny Depp... by Russman	May 24th, 2007 08:51:03 AM
He said that he saw this little elf come into his room and that the elf stole his hat and started dancing around. So, Johnny decided it was time to trash his hotel room.
Harry's Taste by Mr Gorilla	May 24th, 2007 09:11:27 AM
On this site Harry has introduced me to a great many FANTASTIC films. But don't forget that in 1999 he put down Jan de Bont's remake of The Haunting as one of his films of the year. NEVER FORGET THAT!!!!!
HARRY YOU CUNT by ObiWanCon	May 24th, 2007 09:17:00 AM
Harry how dare you even mention the words STAR WARS in relation to Pirates of the CRAPIBBEAN it's a fucking insult Harry and I've lost all respect for you, you sir are a FUCKING CUNT.
Yeah I agree with the cunt remark... by NightArrows	May 24th, 2007 09:40:49 AM
Harry you are fucked in the head for even lighting the match that would lead you to compare the Black Pearl to the Millenium Falcon, or the POTC dreck to the original Star Wars trilogy. I think you need an eye lift as some of your head fat is clouding your vision...
Complicated by Bad Movie Year	May 24th, 2007 10:02:00 AM
I never considered DMC to be too complicated. Convoluted, yes. But not complicated.
Harry, thanks for by Lour Reed luvs Frank Zappa	May 24th, 2007 10:11:47 AM
The porn site, id never heard of it until now. I think it's safe to say I've finally gotten something useful from what you've said.
Harry liked The Haunting (1999) ? by kwisatzhaderach	May 24th, 2007 10:14:39 AM
wow...that is one of the worst movies i've ever seen in my life, surpassed only by Speed 2...spot the connection.
Finally. by Dragulf	May 24th, 2007 10:16:45 AM
Nice to see you give as you have been given Harry. You educated him at the same time you took the wind out of his sails.
Best. Review. Ever. by m4st4	May 24th, 2007 10:17:15 AM
This is the best review ever, really. Film lovingly, without saying anything that could ruin our momentum...Film is magic, and you know it Harry, like we all do. Thank you. P.S. Jack Sparrow forever, in our kid-like eye, he'll allways be the rum for our mind...
It might be time give up on movies by The Mothman	May 24th, 2007 10:31:19 AM
Go away for a while, let them make a comeback. Millions upon millions of dollars, all the source material in the world, and what have we gotten lately? "Try wearing a corset?" Fuck this. Far too many moments like that these days, wannabe 'let's drive home this one-liner to the audience' moments that come across as fodder for teen scum to laugh at and make the modern movie-going experience worse than it already is. I'd encourage anyone who actually wants to move filmmaking ahead (or at least not drag it down any further) to get away from talkbacks and go do something, so maybe the next decade will have better results.
The only worthwhile thing to take away from all this by Garbageman33	May 24th, 2007 10:36:27 AM
youporn.com. Good god, that site has basically cut my productivity in half. And I wasn't too productive to begin with. I can't believe it hasn't been shut down yet. But I'm sure it will be soon. So I'm getting in my 6 hours a day while I can.
The Mothman by kwisatzhaderach	May 24th, 2007 10:41:20 AM
You're spot on. I'm away outside to enjoy the sunshine. I'll leave Harry and his pals to gush about the latest summer disaster. It wasn't Lucas and Spielberg that destroyed Hollywood as so many claim, it was Bruckheimer and Simpson. They introduced 'movie as product' and their legacy is on display all summer in your local theater.
Harry the next 5 films you review I challenge you to... by IndustryKiller!	May 24th, 2007 10:53:15 AM
not use your nephew as some sort of example of why the film was any good. You act like it's difficult to please a child. You could put pretty much any pirate movie on screen and a kid would love it. Hell they are just happy to be at the movies. This movie could have been so god awful that even you didnt like it (I shudder to think at what level of awful that would have to be) and your nephew would probably still love it. Why? He's a kid! A child's enjoyment of a film has no bearing on whether it has any merit.
Mothman said "teen scum". by Borgnine JR	May 24th, 2007 11:01:29 AM
I like it!
"The Black Pearl is our modern day Millennium Falcon." by Rise Above Haters	May 24th, 2007 11:12:42 AM
Oh no he di'n't! Outrageous.
I can't believe no one else has said it! by Borgnine JR	May 24th, 2007 11:16:22 AM
But shouldn't a pirate movie be rated "AAAAARRRRRHHH!!!"?
Agreed kwisatzhaderach by The Mothman	May 24th, 2007 11:31:57 AM
The studio assembly line will occasionally still crank out something watchable, but the strike rate these days seems a lot worse than it was in the 90s. The problem with cashing in on these sequels is that, yes, some might have their moments, but they're not improving much on the original incarnations; they're bigger, but hardly ever better. Surely they can put a little more coin towards ideas like Titans by Michael France and Beached by Ted Griffin (you know, concepts that actually seem interesting) and let the public know that, hey, they're still interested in getting a wide variety of visions out there. Until that happens, I'm going the way of Truman Burbank and simply tuning out of "blockbusters" for a while.
I love you AICN, but ... by Filou	May 24th, 2007 12:13:31 PM
... 'Dead Man's Chest' was just very poor storytelling and I wont even bother to see 'At World's End'. If I wouldn't love movies in general that much, I would hope some day filmmakers like these would tank without ever resurfacing. But then again: "Money makes the world go 'round, world go 'round, world go 'round ..."
Thanks Harry by DarthMusashi2112	May 24th, 2007 12:20:39 PM
Seeing it tonight, REALLY can't wait now!
Harry's Nephew's Review Now Up! by Trav	May 24th, 2007 12:51:10 PM
He gave this movie two filled diapers and a half of a wet Taco Bell shart.
Will Turner by AlwaysThere	May 24th, 2007 01:03:52 PM
That sucks.
Harry, I take back all I said before... by PirateEmery	May 24th, 2007 01:21:24 PM
... about you and your fiance, etc. Thank you for the absolutely wonderful review, and I feel you have hit it dead-on, unless I'm proven wrong by some strange twist of events when I see the movie tonight.
Harry, you took your nephew to see this? by Abin Sur	May 24th, 2007 01:43:52 PM
What, was Hostel II sold out?
This TB proves the sheep-like nature of you people by performingmonkey	May 24th, 2007 01:46:07 PM
Blind love for the Original Trilogy, and now blind hate for the Pirates trilogy. I'm convinced half of you haven't even seen episodes IV-VI, you DEFINITELY haven't seen the original versions, and you didn't even see Dead Man's Chest because you were too busy texting and listening to your ipod in the theater. Your gonna hate At World's End because you don't even know the story from the second movie. And now there's 'universal' hate for the LOTR trilogy and Jackson is a 'hack' just because you were burned by Kong. Fuck you all.
We Love Harry, but by Deandome	May 24th, 2007 01:46:49 PM
...three words: WHERE IS CUMPSTON??? We need his take on this.
Uh oh. Harry likes it. It must suck. by Heckles	May 24th, 2007 02:04:48 PM
Oh well. At least the geek analogies and rambling was at a minimum. Cheers. but Daffy Duck with Bugs' luck? Come on Harry, you're better than that.
You people so offended over the Star Wars comparisons - by Lamerz	May 24th, 2007 02:34:08 PM
Fucking tools. All of you. The Pirates movies have been great, as were several of the Star Wars movies. If your little minds cannot accept that there may be multiple properties that inspire imagination and thoroughly entertain millions of people, then just stay home and keep whacking off to your OOT videotapes and laserdiscs. Stupid fanboy bitches.
performingmonkey/Lamerz by Chilli815	May 24th, 2007 02:45:08 PM
I saw DMC, and I dug it first time, but the second time it dragged, because its a shock film - you enjoy it when you don't know where its going, but when you know the twists it has no replay value. And I felt ROTK was poor at the cinema, poor on DVD and poor on TV... and still miles better than Kong... Lamerz -I'll admit the OT had problems, but at least they had a tight structure and didn't spend thirty minutes on filler masquerading as plot points.
Fuck that by Turnquest	May 24th, 2007 03:08:17 PM
STAR WARS and Chaplin and Keaton references. In a PIRATES review. No, nuh-uh, you do not bring up the Holy Trilogy in this context sir. You've crossed a line and I fully demand (but do not expect) a retraction.
I just want to know ... by ludmir88	May 24th, 2007 04:15:16 PM
if the parrot owned by that muted crewmember survive the ride!!!! And please stop with the Star Wars analogy!!! Star Wars is NOT A GREAT MOVIE, it is just a lot of publicity!!! since the first day in cinemas!!! But i found funny the bugs bunny and duffy analogy stuff.
once again by the_shogun_gunslinger	May 24th, 2007 04:51:12 PM
all i hear is bitching...suprise suprise. good review harry :) best in a while
I knew the Millennium Falcon, the Millennium Falcon... by WONKABAR	May 24th, 2007 06:32:49 PM
was a friend of mine. Black Pearl....you're no Millennium Falcon
First good review of the year from Harry by Chiziola79	May 24th, 2007 06:41:58 PM
If only for the fact that it didnt include titbits of Harrys sex life. If you didnt like the review then you have to question why you visit the site in the first place you fuckers
I cant understand what the fuck their saying by Cherub of Justice	May 24th, 2007 07:24:31 PM
These movies arent complicated, but I got a headache watching the second one in the theater because the dialogue was so muddled and accent heavy you couldnt make out what the fuck they just said. I watched the second one on DVD with the subtitles on recently just to find out what they actually said. These movies are boring and the only thing that made the first one somewhat watchable was Jack Sparrow, but it wasnt enough to save the second movie and Im sure the third one will be 3 hours more of unintelligble dialogue, excessively long sword fighting. Also whats wrong with Keira, shes lost so much weight from the first one shes gone from being hot to looking like a meth whore.
a good review? by ErrantNight	May 24th, 2007 08:33:59 PM
really? what was good about it? that he liked it? because it was poorly written... did not address the criticisms of the film (too complicated? did you READ any of the criticism of this film? it's not like people don't "get" the film... they just don't like it. well, i'm sure some found it too complicated, but i didn't read any reviews written by morons)... i don't know why i read talkback. or post. so pointless. a bunch of hackneyed assholes pissed off because harry dared to draw comparison to other fantasy series and a bunch of other idiots slobbering all over themselves because he managed to keep a review short. is the movie hugely and crassly commercial? is it marketed to people of all ages? yes? harry likes it. everyone else who has already decided they will like it will also like this review. other people who've already decided before watching the movie they won't like will dislike the review for stupid reasons and taunt those who do. anyone who speaks up and starts analyzing things in an intelligent rational manner will be insulted... probably by both sides. good times!
I wonder if it was appropriate to recommend a porn site by Bronx Cheer	May 24th, 2007 08:45:47 PM
using the authority of the Black Box? Just wondering...as Quint would say, "What do you folks think?"
Oh STF up ErrantNight! by SPACEHUNTER3-D	May 24th, 2007 08:57:34 PM
Boohoohoo! You disgust me!
Oh, and I don't need this film simplified for me... by Bronx Cheer	May 24th, 2007 09:09:39 PM
Jeesum Crow, Harold, you're not reviewing a Bergman film. I'll give you credit when you write a good review (I did very recently in fact), but for the love of E.B. White, you are not allowed to create your own rules of punctuation! You long ago entered the ranks of professional writers; behave like one. And please don't talk down to me. I don't need you to break it down for me. I get it. Pirate. Dame. Hero. Blah blah blah.
just got back, liked it a lot by wcoop893	May 24th, 2007 10:38:41 PM
the action was really spectacular, and it was a huge improvemnt over the second one i think. and i may or may not have just posed this same thing in the other POTC TB's. i know
didn't like 2, LOVED 3 by The Only Woj	May 24th, 2007 11:18:46 PM
I come to see Sparrow, and he's much more the focus of 3 than he was in 2. plus, 2 had a little too much "island of natives" + "long ass fight on giant wheel" for my liking. this movie was about Pirates and it had pirate stuff in it. yo ho!
missed the after credits... by Ringer311	May 25th, 2007 12:12:23 AM
I don't know what I was thinking. This is the first time I didn't stick around for after the credits. Anyone care to give some details??
simple amusement park ride? by photoginit	May 25th, 2007 12:13:00 AM
POTC is considered by many to be the best theme park ride ever created. It is as popular today as it was when it debuted 40 years ago. You seem to forget that these movies would be nothing if it wasn't for the so called "simple amusement park ride." Other than that great review. I enjoyed the movie esp. after the disappointment of Spiderman 3.
After the Credits by StarBlitzer	May 25th, 2007 01:26:20 AM
You really didn't miss too much... Spoiler: 10 years later...
After the Credits: Redux by StarBlitzer	May 25th, 2007 01:27:23 AM
To say any more would give away way too much of the film -_-'
After the Credits: Electric Boogaloo by StarBlitzer	May 25th, 2007 01:28:55 AM
And there's no need to give away what little plot there was to behold o_O ...whelp, looks like FF: ROTSS is officially this summer's blockbuster ...who knew??
Totally agree with Harry by The Pusher	May 25th, 2007 01:44:27 AM
Pirates 3 is 100% magic. Every reservation I had with Dead Man's Chest (which, honestly, were minor) were completely made up for by why Verbinski and Co. gave us here. Awe inspiring.
"by what" by The Pusher	May 25th, 2007 01:45:00 AM
I should say.
I didnt find it confuseing at all by LeviDTinker	May 25th, 2007 02:19:54 AM
i just got home from the 8pm showing tonight at the mann marketplace 4 in glendale. and i must say i really enjoyed the movie, it was a lot of fun, and it wasnt confuseing in the least. and the crowd was completely into the entire movie especially durring that spectacular battle towards the end. on a side note, i really liked the new version of the transformers trailer shown before it, but why wont they let us hear prime speak a line or two.
Hey Harry youporn.com Is Not As Good As ..... xtube.com by Red Dawn Don	May 25th, 2007 04:16:45 AM
When you go to www.xtube.com be sure to CLICK ON you are straight or gay and then click on the videos link at the TOP header. How does this relate to a pirate movie? Oh yeah PIRATES GOTTA EAT. I mean, PIRATES GOTTA MASTURBATE.
Pirates 3.... by Lost in Uranus	May 25th, 2007 05:07:07 AM
Sucked big balls. There's no other way to articulate it. It just sucks big, fat, hairy, crab-infested, herpes-ridden balls. Still love the first one though. Its awesome.
robertsilence, why don't you please let up on the abuse by Bronx Cheer	May 25th, 2007 06:08:30 AM
Your words read like the ravings of someone who has gone off his meds. One FU should do it. Oh, I guess you have to go...here come the orderlies.
Most critics are mentally challenged by MattmanReturns	May 25th, 2007 11:38:14 AM
That's the only explanation as to how the majority of critics found this film confusing. I followed this all the way, and I consider myself merely of average intelligence.
YOUPORN.COM RAPED MY CHILDHOOD by Stuntcock Mike	May 25th, 2007 11:59:00 AM
Thanks Harry.
crap by loonigrrl	May 25th, 2007 12:04:57 PM
Saw it last night, and I totally disagree with this review. I spent three hours looking at my watch. The pacing was pretty awful, the jokes were not funny and they movie itself has gotten way too self-indulgent. Plus, I hated the ending.
Jack Sparrow ain't no fucking Han Solo. by Mosquito March	May 25th, 2007 12:24:57 PM
Han Solo was relatable because he was an average guy in a bizarre galaxy of alien oddities who did what he could to avoid taking any responsibility. You actually know people like Han Solo. Sparrow, from the get-go, is a cartoon character in a cartoon world, and has nothing resembling an actual character arc - unlike Han, who actually learned, over three films, to care about people other than himself. While you couldn't call Han a "deep" character, his arc is good storytelling. Jack Sparrow is just the clown who never gets what he wants - and that's it. And, there is no reason to change, because these films have already decided for the characters in them that it's better to be a lying, cheating rogue than to stand up have some morals. Given that, why would Jack ever even need to change? He can just keep doing what he's been doing since the beginning and not suffer any ill will from th audience. There is no real conflict with this guy. But, as long as his wacky, two-movies-stale antics keep people chuckling, they let him get away with contributing nothing of value to the history of cinema. He's not a real character - he's essentially like a pirate version of a recurrent fart joke, thrown into an overly-plotted, everything-but-the-kitchen-sin k series, a rodeo clown to keep people amused while waiting for something compelling to happen. I guess that does it for a hell of a lot of people, which I find amazing coming from people who claim to want better, tighter stories in their films.
I liked it. by disfigurehead	May 25th, 2007 01:13:38 PM
I read some reviews ahead of time so I was ready if it sucked. Not as good as1 but better than 2. Didn't seem like almost 3 hours. I'm waiting for the bootleg DVD which I know willl be out by next week if not tomorrow.
Y0u complain cause it has to much of a PLOT?? by LeviDTinker	May 25th, 2007 02:29:58 PM
i find it funny people are complaining that the movie is overly plotted. when most movies have the problem of not haveing enough of a plot. in any case the movie was just good fun. It was a excellent popcorn movie,this is one of only a handfull of movies released in the last 10 years that i have actually had to pay to see,(between working 2 big movie theatres in the last 10 years ive gotten to see 98 percent of movies released in that time for free)let me tell you for me pirates was definately worth the 11.25 i paid to see it last night,the complete oppossite of how i felt after seeing spiderman III 3 weeks ago on its opening night which left me wishing i would have waited till the following monday when i could have seen it for free.
HARRY HERE'S A REAL REVIEW by ObiWanCon	May 25th, 2007 03:30:59 PM
http://www.bbc.co.uk/fivelive/ entertainment/kermode.shtml Simple brilliant
HARRY= NIPPLES ON FILM REVIEWS by mrsinister7381	May 25th, 2007 04:22:23 PM
What the fuck is this, a fucking press release from Disney? What a load of shit.
LeviDTinker by Mosquito March	May 25th, 2007 04:35:35 PM
Just because you pack a movie the gills with characters and numerous reversals of fortune doesn't automatically make it a good movie. It all has to pay off in a meaningful way, and these guys spent so much time cramming everything they thought would be interesting to have in their pirate movies that they forgot how to tell a good fucking summer action-adventure story. Did RAIDERS have dozens of characters all plotting against one another and filling up space with meaningless antics and set pieces that don't advance the story? No, it had two sets of players focused on one goal, action scenes that moved the story forward, and it's still the best action-adventure movie ever made.
Kermode by Bad Movie Year	May 25th, 2007 05:02:31 PM
That man was on such form today it was staggering. The good Doctor is the funniest thing on he BBC at the moment. I am watching World's End tomorrow, girlfriend's insistance, but he nailed DMC bang on a year ago and I fear he has done the same with this one.
does anyone... by ufoclub1977	May 25th, 2007 05:25:28 PM
actually follow the story of these last two films? Does it make any kind of dramatic sense with regards to the established chracters and their goals? Or does it seem like some kind of Pirate Sillmarillion mirror smashed and gathered for us to look at in awe?
i still say its a great summer popcorn movie by LeviDTinker	May 25th, 2007 06:49:39 PM
I still had a fun and exciteing 3 hour experience watching it, and it was worth every cent of that 11.25 i spent. this movies purpose is to entertain you for 3 hours and guess what for 98 percent of the people who see pirates 3 it does just that. and what i was saying is that i found it funny people who usually complain about a movie not haveing a real plot are complaining that this has to much plot, makeing it confuseing. your right cramming your movie to the gils doesnt make a movie good. but unlike you, i witnessed a lot of good payoffs and resolutions in the story and characters when i watched it last night. i didnt walk away feeling cheeted like i did with spiderman 3, which also crammed a lot of stuff in but wasnt rewarding in the end. and as i said earlier everyone in the audience was responding positively to everything on screen all the way through the final scene after the credits.
17 million from the thurday night screenings by LeviDTinker	May 25th, 2007 09:20:10 PM
Well its being reported now that pirates made 17 million dollars from the thursday night screenings.
i just got back from seeing it by Magic Rat	May 25th, 2007 11:16:43 PM
and I think that basically everyone is right about this movie - the people who thought it was too complicated (true) - the people who thought it was too talky (true) - the people who thought certain parts and characters were unnecessary (true) - the people who said it's a great escapist summer film (true). This is a movie, IMO, you should just go watch and have fun with. Forget about plot holes and cut off plot points and characters that show up and do nothing and go nowhere. Just enjoy the movie for what it was - a summertime movie about pirates. It has great special effects, some good humor, one beautiful scene at the end, and Geoffrey Rush giving a balls-out insane performance as Barbosa. It's better than Spiderman 3. As a trilogy, taken together, this is better than the Matrix, better than Spiderman, but nowhere near as good as Lord of the Rings. You could do a lot worse on Friday or Saturday night than see this.
It is certainly well worth seeing but not so much by superninja	May 25th, 2007 11:21:09 PM
fun if you haven't seen the other two films. It's definitely not a stand-alone.
Harry, Bruckheimer Says The Series Is OVER! by Darth Fabulous	May 26th, 2007 12:40:08 AM
I heard him say it on a televised interview today. Yeah, like I would normally believe that given the mint he and Disney are making...it's just that he seemed dead serious. Getting Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, et al to come back for a fourth film seems like a tall order. Obviously, cash wouldn't be an issue...I don't know. I want to see the continuing adventures of Sparrow, Barbossa, Gibbs, Pintel, Ragetti and Jack...
...Oh Yeah, DEAD ON REVIEW HARRY! by Darth Fabulous	May 26th, 2007 12:46:15 AM
This has got to be the best review Harry's written in a long time, summing up my thoughts exactly. I cringed reading Ansen's Newsweek review after seeing the film today. Everyone in my theater was laughing their asses off at the "salt flats" hallucination sequence. I thought the surreal, "film noir" elements that Harry mentions in his review were genius. Go back through and watch all three films back to back when this comes out on DVD...there are absolutely no convoluted plot twists, holes or issues. The film was perfectly executed by Verbinski.
Great review by FuzzyWhisper	May 26th, 2007 01:29:36 AM
The Star Wars comparison doesn't work for me, Harry, but in general you captured my impression of the film quite accurately. People who called it bland, confusing or too long need to realize that the problem lies with them, not the movie. Those who love the thematic and stylistic core of the series--and the characters who tie it all together--will love Pirates 3. Those who don't won't, and the fans and fimmakers shouldn't be expected to apologize for that.
Fun. by Lucasblows	May 26th, 2007 01:35:33 AM
Wasn't perfect, but a hell of alot of fun.
Great review Harry by Trader Groucho 2	May 26th, 2007 03:49:15 AM
TY
Sorry, Harry by Birdys Piano Teacher	May 26th, 2007 12:07:25 PM
But this film is an incomprehensible hot mess. The second one was similarly convoluted but I loved it--this one not so much. I defy most people to explain the motives and the relationships without someone else's help. My roommate had the perfect one word summation--"kablooey". Lots of sound and furty signifying nothing. The first half of the film barely holds together and it's fairly strong, but the audience ends up spending too much time with characters we don't care about. It seems odd that the third film never has enough of Jack Sparrow--the iconic character who is the principal reason for the series' success. A missed opportunity.
Captain Feng. by Tripman5000	May 26th, 2007 04:59:50 PM
I must admit,I totally lost track-what happened to Captain Feng?
Captain Feng by Birdys Piano Teacher	May 27th, 2007 12:14:05 AM
I think he died, but who knows. Couldn't understand a damn thing he was saying anyways. Why did he think Knightley was Calypso? Everyone knew it was the other chick. Most of them were hard to understand--maybe the soundtrack was too loud.
Harry have you started smoking Crack? by Wcwlkr	May 27th, 2007 12:52:19 AM
I ask out of genuine concern, because I can't understand for the life of me how you can think this was actually a great movie. To say that this movie was better than the first 2 is insane. And at least Spiderman 3 had me entertained, unlike this peace of garbage that bored the hell out of me. There's 3 hours I won't get back, damn this movie sucked.
Pirates 3 is horrible... by spectrebeeyatch	May 27th, 2007 02:04:55 AM
Ruined so many great chances. First off it was corny as all hell even more so than Spider-man 3. I liked what they did with Will and Elizabeth but there needed to be more. Davey Jones who single tentacled saved the second movie and barely kept this movie afloat. His story with Calypso never really concluded which is a shame. I dug that this movie was not for kids (SPOILER) Hanging a kid in the first couple minutes was daring. But the final battle scene just wasn't great at all. Two boats fighting with the "scramble cam" so none of the sword fights were filmed well. There was really no big climax and I thought it was very stupid to have an army of Pirates and an entire fleet of British ships face off and then the battle ends between two boats with everyone else cheering and celebrating even though they did nothing. This goes down as another horrible end to a trilogy. Empire was the best of the SW trilogy. Towers was the best of the LOTR. Spider-man 2 is clearly the best of the three Spider-man's and sadly Dead Man's Chest a highly flawed film is the best of this trilogy. Don't be tricked by Disney bought hype this movie is horrible save your 8-10 bucks.
Three crappy sequels. by Orbots Commander	May 27th, 2007 11:28:15 AM
If anything gets Hollywood off of the binge on sequels I hope it'll be the Summer of '07, because seriously Spider-Man 3, Shrek 3 and POTC 3, are some of the worst movies I've seen in a looooooong time. Yesterday afternoon, the GF, her little nephew and I went to catch the Pirates flick; she and I were bored until the third hour of the movie perked things up a bit. The kid was restless, then asleep inside of an hour. Harry, you seriously thought this was a good movie? Here's to hoping that the third Bourne movie and Knocked Up are good. I'm not even considering Transformers after the wretched experience of sitting through a feature length toy commercial, i.e. Shrek 3.
As I said already by emeraldboy	May 27th, 2007 01:19:26 PM
These movies have great production values and are very well made techincally. I liked the first one and the second, even thoug alot of people didnt. AS the emeniment film critic Philip French said in his column today. It was as if the guys in ILM mutineered and took over the running of the film judging by the interiminably long Credit list at the end. the third one had the wrost story. The film looked scrappy. It looked like a much longer film.
The problem with these movies was that by emeraldboy	May 27th, 2007 01:30:39 PM
despite all the geek hype surrounding Orlando Bloom as legolas. He is as boring as Knightley together they are just dull. She may have won a victory over the aneroxia story and it is none of my business whether she is or not. I am unconvinced. Look at her she just gets thinner and thinner. She may get all hissy and nasty about it with the press but the evidence is there. I saw little children on DVD and thought that Kate deserved her oscar nomination. For my money she is a much better actress then Keira Knightley. If Kiera gets the oscar for atonment and wins will she be able to carry the oscar off stage.
The problem with these movies was that by emeraldboy	May 27th, 2007 02:03:57 PM
despite all the geek hype surrounding Orlando Bloom as legolas. He is as boring as Knightley together they are just dull. She may have won a victory over the aneroxia story and it is none of my business whether she is or not. I am unconvinced. Look at her she just gets thinner and thinner. She may get all hissy and nasty about it with the press but the evidence is there. I saw little children on DVD and thought that Kate deserved her oscar nomination. For my money she is a much better actress then Keira Knightley. If Kiera gets the oscar for atonment and wins will she be able to carry the oscar off stage.
$112 Million Friday to Monday... by jimmy rabbitte	May 27th, 2007 08:46:20 PM
...down from the $135 Million opening of Dead Man's Chest. That is the final commentary on what everyone thought of the second installment. Even though the third film is better than the second; at almost three hours running time, most people are probably just going to wait for the DVD. Who can blame them? I liked At World's End, but DMC was a real let down... I guess that sound we're hearing from Disney is... CHAAAA--...ching?... whoa... what happened? Please let this be the last padded out "trilogy" a film studio tries to foist on the public...(I'm lookin' at you Columbia "we're gonna make three more Spideys" Studios)
Hardly by Birdys Piano Teacher	May 27th, 2007 09:48:47 PM
You have some odd reasoning there. Less people going to see it and worse reviews means its better. Not quite.
uh... no by jimmy rabbitte	May 27th, 2007 10:00:29 PM
...after the second movie being such a let down, most people don't want to spend the ten bucks on a theater admission... regardless of the reviews... I did say the third film is better; but that's just my opinion... I did like it better... There's nothing odd about disagreeing with the reviews, people do it all the time.
fair enough. by Birdys Piano Teacher	May 27th, 2007 10:09:17 PM
but i have yet to meet someone who didn't at least like the second. and i know plenty who love it. there wouldn't have been talk about any records if the second had disappointed the public-at-large. but it's true that one man's trash is another man's treasure.
I said it before and I'll say it again... by blindambition238	May 27th, 2007 10:17:49 PM
Meh... Saw it today and while watching, Spider-Man 3 came to mind in the sense I think this movie was overstuffed as well. Where I found SM3 to be basically 2 different but potentailly great movies frankensteined together I found World's End to be a decent story and good fun weighed down by unecessary fluff material that I felt were useless to the movie and story, with a noticable amount of exposition scenes which basically explained the story rather than showing it (if that makes sense). I forgot which AICN reviewer said that they've been trying hard to make an actual mythology out of this series like the original Star Wars trilogy, but I totally agree with them, especially with the point that it has been at the simple expense of the simple fun and charm present in the first one. My biggest problem with the series is that I couldn't really give a damn about Will and Elizabeth. With both sequels I completely forgot why I was supposed to care about them when we first see them again. Like Harry says, the series revolves around Will, Liz, and Jack, but it is only the former 2 which the series seems to depend on for bringing the soul, drama, and meaning to the madness. But instead of trying to further develop them they opted to throw in more characters, gags, and more exuberant cgi battles; I guess it doesnt help that i find some scenes with them to be completely flat sometimes (insert Kiera joke). Was it fun? Yea, I enjoyed what I was seeing when the pirates were swinging over a whirlpool slashing and blasting at each other, but since I couldn't really care about these characters the finale just was that to me, random people getting gutted and blown up. It was a cool sight to see, but by the time the lights went back up I pretty much walked out of the theatre not able to give a damn for any of it.
Birdys Piano Teacher by jimmy rabbitte	May 27th, 2007 10:52:33 PM
No question. I'm in the opposite place from last summer. I didn't like a movie many did like. Now, I like one that many don't... things are just funny like that sometimes.
It's Stellan! by Mneth	May 28th, 2007 03:41:54 AM
Not Stellen, Harrie!
Very Well Written Review by oogabooga	May 28th, 2007 10:42:48 AM
For someone doing publicity for Disney. The movie sucked ass
You nailed it Harry ! by RobinP	May 28th, 2007 11:37:46 AM
Kudos for taking the "attention span of a retarded guppy" mentally challenged audiences and critics of today. I loved this movie, as did the rest of my family - I admit it was convoluted, but not complicated, and it got there nicely in the end.
This must be the world's ends... by tile_mcgillus	May 28th, 2007 12:42:17 PM
People LOVE Spiderman 3 and HATE Shrek 3 and POTC 3? What the fuck!?! Seriously Spiderman 3 was an atrocity and the other two were great additions to their series. POTC 3 was a perfect conclusion to the series. I am kind of flabbergasted. I must be losing my geek mind...next someone is going to tell me Children of Men sucked and I will just fucking punch a bitch and roll up out.
Oh...gret review Harry! by tile_mcgillus	May 28th, 2007 12:43:23 PM
Sometimes the "ferrets in a sack" just miss the point.
I found it to be... by cooterbrown	May 28th, 2007 02:23:08 PM
exactly what the critics said. An hour too long. A story too convoluted. Unable to understand 40% of what Barbossa said. I came home and my wife asked what I thought ancd I replied that I wasnt sure. Which is sad because I was sure I probably witnessed the best action scenes ever in a movie - however something obviously robbed that thrill from me. It mikght have been the absolutley 2001 abstract DJ Locker scene - which if it werent for the crabs went right over the audience. Or it might have been any number of other strangedies withing the movie. Sorry I can't spill the hero worship or Harrys blind "if you don't get it - you just dont get it" fraternal order of the cool guys club. But - I left the movie wishing the previews were better they were so I'd have something to look forward too this summer other than Transformers.
Fountain Of Youth. by Mr Soze	May 28th, 2007 07:28:46 PM
Went this afternoon. It was Ok. Liked Jeffery Roush the best. If they do sequels keep Orlando and Knightley out and center around Cap'n Jack. Is it me or did Depp lose somethin with Sparrow after the 1st potc. Its almost like the writers forgot how to write Cap Jack. Pity.. The very 1st one was far and away better then 2 and 3. I don't think they used Depp in the character right. Waiting for Knocked up & Superbad.
Agreed, Mr. Soze by Birdys Piano Teacher	May 28th, 2007 08:25:23 PM
I like the way you think.
I liked Spider-Man 3 better by wackedfuck	May 29th, 2007 01:24:29 AM
Neither film was anything special, but if I had to choose which one I'd give repeat viewings, I'd choose Spidey. POTC 3 had a great finale and some amusing bits here and there, but most of the film was a bore. Oh, and did they forget about Jack? Even when he was there, he didn't really seem to be there, like Depp was just going through the motions this time. However, I will give Verbinski and crew credit for daring to start the film off on such a grim level. It was a brilliant way to establish just how evil the EIC was and I hope the scene is remembered years later.
I liked Spider-Man 3 better by wackedfuck	May 29th, 2007 01:24:40 AM
Neither film was anything special, but if I had to choose which one I'd give repeat viewings, I'd choose Spidey. POTC 3 had a great finale and some amusing bits here and there, but most of the film was a bore. Oh, and did they forget about Jack? Even when he was there, he didn't really seem to be there, like Depp was just going through the motions this time. However, I will give Verbinski and crew credit for daring to start the film off on such a grim level. It was a brilliant way to establish just how evil the EIC was and I hope the scene is remembered years later.
not this is how I want my summer blockbuster threequel by Colonel_Blimp	May 29th, 2007 04:48:43 AM
it was everything spider man 3 wasn't. apart from a few minor quibbles, aboslutely terrific, and a vast improvement on the second film. and probably the best cgi I've ever seen.
not = now by Colonel_Blimp	May 29th, 2007 04:50:05 AM
sorry, it's pre-lunch and my blood sugar level is low.
Brilliant! by BeyondStatic	May 29th, 2007 08:50:58 AM
The best way to wrap up a phenominally fun trilogy. Great film! Can we give Depp his Oscar now?... holding our attention for 5 straight minutes, single-handedly, against a near white background... sheer brilliance! BTW - love the Bugs Bunny/Daffy Duck parallel. Great Observation!
I saw this last night... by stoptalking	May 29th, 2007 03:07:56 PM
It was so bad I had to go to the hospital. You're an idiot, Harry.
sonic death monkey by SCYTHEOFLUNA	May 29th, 2007 03:47:18 PM
The review was too long for ya huh? 3 whole pages. The magnitude of your intellect and attention span is staggering. It's a good thing you made time to declare these inadequacies to the rest of us, or you might have fooled someone into thinking you had sense.
yeah you really proved me wrong moriarity by jeromesage	May 29th, 2007 03:49:32 PM
i predicted this review for this god awful movie then and held off comment until it posted. srtill have a problem with my "formula"?
And how exactly was the second film a letdown? by SCYTHEOFLUNA	May 29th, 2007 04:06:05 PM
I know it's fashionable to hate everything, but you people are so full of shit sometimes. The second film was a natural progression of the first, and the third ties the loose ends left in the first two. If you didn't like it your expectations were not reasonable, as the thematic material hasn't changed much from one film to the other. Period. If you're so fucking smart, pitch us a script. Write a script, or at least a plot summary and let us hear what Pirates 2 should have been about. Back up your talk with some talent, and tell everyone how Verbinsky should have done it. Anyone who talks smack about these movies had better back it up with some CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. I'm sick of people running their mouths with no feedback as to what should have been. I also think a bit of PERSPECTIVE is in order. These films are made by Disney, and they're an adaptation of a theme park ride. All that considered, and even all that aside, these movies are fucking great for what they are. They're not life changing films. This isn't high art, it's swashbuckling adventurous fun. It's supposed to be fun. Maybe if you weren't all such miserable cynical jerks, you might remember what it was like to watch movies for fun, rather than hyper analyzing and talking yourself into hating everything. Spewing bile about every film you see, meanwhile contributing exactly fuck -all other than hot air yourself, doesn't make you appear to be cool or talented, and it doesn't make your dick any bigger. Chicks will not be impressed with your amateur review shtick. Lighten hell up. Get over yourselves. These movies are exactly what they're supposed to be. If you don't get it, well, your loss.
stoptalking should take his own advice. by SCYTHEOFLUNA	May 29th, 2007 04:18:48 PM
You thought movie was that bad, and yet you still took the time to read the review, and comment. Wow. I don't waste time on pages about movies I didn't like. I guess that's 'cause I'm not an insecure douche. Be sure to keep frequenting this site, and make a habit of insulting the contributors though, it really makes you seem manly. We're all so impressed. Let me show you in simple terms why your behaviour is moronic and ridiculous: 'See I hate Shrek, and the show 24. I fuckin' hate Shrek,Shrek 2, all of it. I think 24 is a bunch of Hackneyed bullshit that rips off Tom Clancy on the regular. But am I wasting calories insulting people on the Shrek 3 page, or pissing all over the views of people who like 24? No, That would be laughable and pathetic, and I'd live in my moms basement instead of in my own apartment hundres of miles away. If you don't like something, try avoiding it. I don't like Shrek, so I stay the hell away from that shit. Avoidance.
oops, that should have been "hundreds" of miles... by SCYTHEOFLUNA	May 29th, 2007 04:38:25 PM
People who don't have intellectual ammunition are quick to point out typos, so I struck preemptively.
interesting... by stoptalking	May 29th, 2007 05:47:25 PM
you say you don't waste time on things you dislike, and yet you used 200+ words telling me why you dislike my attitude. Fascinating.
I certainly didn't mean to offend... by stoptalking	May 29th, 2007 06:12:51 PM
I mean, I'll be honest, it's really noble to come to the defense of this film and its reviewer. I'm glad you could put down your no doubt well-worn copies of Proust and DeTocqueville for but a moment to come - swashbuckling yourself no less! - to defend a film that made more money in one day then the assembled talkbackers on this site will in 20 years, so I'm sure you can feel good about that. Your actions will no doubt make the collected objet d'art in your elegantly appointed "apartment" sparkle with greater lustre. Truly, you are a king among men. I was just thinking, you know, that if you're so fervently anti-bile and the spewing of it, you may want to refrain from the activity, lest you be pulled down to the dregs yourself. Not that such a thing would ever happen.
scytheofluna, get over it. by Colonel_Blimp	May 30th, 2007 02:57:08 AM
film criticism isn't objective, and it is fully possible for people to have an opinion differing from your own without making them 'wrong' and you 'right'. and like it or not, they are in their right to come here and bitch about it.
I just saw this... by mrsinister7381	May 30th, 2007 08:44:59 AM
and it was a dud. A "C" level sequel at best. I think of the three I dig DMC the most. This was like 3 hours of people on boats talking. Strangely, now that all the crappy baggage has been stripped away, I would kinda like to see a part 4.
Bugs and Daffy says you. Spike and Angel says I by CrichtonAstronut	May 30th, 2007 11:43:12 AM
Every time Jack and Barbossa started bickering I thought of Spike and Angel in Angel season 5. Here Jack is quite obviously Spike, with his love of chaos, excerpt Sparrow is clearly the smarter of the two, between him and Barbossa. Barbossa is more diciplined and meticulous like Angel, and probably has more leadership skills as well. But he thinks to much in-the-box, and cannot make the creative leaps of Capt. Jack Sparrow.
Gore Verbinski by SteffanLongdon	May 31st, 2007 10:11:48 AM
Gore Verbinski should direct Steve Altan's MEG. Anyone agree?
POTC: Attack of the Unending Dialog Scenes by NathanH	May 31st, 2007 11:15:48 AM
Should have been the title, IMO
But of course people have the right to spew venom by SCYTHEOFLUNA	May 31st, 2007 12:46:59 PM
But that in no way makes it any less foolish to do so. As I said, if I detest something, I make a point of avoiding it, rather than seeking out discussions on the subject I despise so I can share my disgust with people who don't care. Coming to a Pirates review and bashing the movie or the person who wrote the review is no different than going to see a comic for the sole purpose of heckling them, or going to see a concert performance for a band you hate simply so you can throw shit at them. The point is, that intelligent, articulate people have better things to do. Sure they have the "right" to act like immature jackasses, but they have better ways to spend their time. And just because someone has the freedom to behave in an ignorant fashion, doesn't protect them from being called out on it. Stoptalking and his ilk clearly do not have anything better to do, or they'd be doing it. For the record I have no interest in defending the film. If you didn't like it, that's your problem. I just feel compelled to point out how pathetic it is for you to waste calories insulting the reviewer, and one would think that if you didn't like the movie, you'd have a better way to occupy your time. Clearly you don't. Carry on but don't get your panties in a wad if people point out how sad and lame you are from time to time.
This might be the worst summer film ever made... by Pdorwick	Jun 1st, 2007 07:23:00 PM
...3 hours of mind-altering boredom interspersed with insanely overdone EFX sequences. Did I mention the boredom? End this shitty series now.
Wow! It's one hell of a fun film. by ExcaliburFfolkes	Jun 4th, 2007 07:09:11 AM
Could they have packed any more plot, action, and excitement into three hours? Doubtful.
One simple scene could have straightened out the climax by ExcaliburFfolkes	Jun 4th, 2007 07:20:29 AM
There should have been a scene at the beginning of the final naval battle where both fleets try to sail forward and engage each other, but are immediately blown backwards by fierce winds. The British sailors could have been shown in confusion, and the pirates recognizing that it was the work of Calypso forcing a one-on-one battle between the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman (which is what I think the moviemakers were implying anyway). In this way everything in the climax would have been seemlessly tied together.
An option the pirates could have considered. by ExcaliburFfolkes	Jun 4th, 2007 07:36:11 AM
Since the pirates were systematically being hunted down Lord Beckett and his supernatural henchman, Davy Jones, the pirates might have weighed the option of turning some of their own into supernatural creatures by way of the cursed Aztec gold from the first movie. Barbossa once mentioned that the chest contained 500 or more pieces of the cursed gold, which means it could have been used to make 500 or more ghost pirates (at one piece per pirate), enough to man a small fleet of pirate ships. These ghost pirates could have fought Davy Jones and his crew to an impass (since no one in either group would be able to die) and wrecked havok on Lord Beckett's fleet, before returning the cursed Aztec gold and becoming human again. It's not the prettiest of options, but since the pirates were facing annihilation anyway, it would have been something for them to seriously consider.
re:ExcaliburFfolkes by jimmy rabbitte	Jun 4th, 2007 10:34:09 AM
They actually did cover themselves on this point somewhere in the almost six hours of sequel story. They established ( I believe at the beginning of DMC ) that the crew of 'The Black Pearl' are upset with Jack because they aren't doing any plundering; and they don't have any treasure since 'Isla de Muerta' sank into the ocean and was no longer reachable. It was a small point that was buried early on during the second movie. It was very easy to miss or forget about without a recent re-viewing of DMC. ... but I like your idea better, it would've made things a bit more interesting along the way.
Harry, Just re-read this by beastie	Jun 4th, 2007 11:00:42 AM
and it's easily, the best review that I've read from you.
Pirates? by GOB Adama	Jun 4th, 2007 05:17:07 PM
In three movies, do we actually get to see any actual piracy? There is that raid in the first movie, but that's more pillaging... This isn't hate, I am rather fond of the films. I wish I could be an 8-year-old so I could want to be Capt. Barbossa when I grow up. I just think it's funny that we get 0 piracy, is all. C'mon! Unless I am mistaken... which I often am.
YOU TUBE WILL TURNER AND JACK??? by herz19	Jun 5th, 2007 03:21:34 PM
Well said on the review. I think with the ADD society we are living in people cant handle a somewhat complex story. The pirate movies are well written and I think they will hold their own in the years to come. Have a look at these Infamous youtube pirates. Will, Jack and others.... www.youtube.com/herzbergfillms
YOU TUBE WILL TURNER AND JACK??? by herz19	Jun 5th, 2007 03:21:44 PM
Well said on the review. I think with the ADD society we are living in people cant handle a somewhat complex story. The pirate movies are well written and I think they will hold their own in the years to come. Have a look at these Infamous youtube pirates. Will, Jack and others.... www.youtube.com/herzbergfilms
Harry's actually right, this time. by ElGuapo	Jun 11th, 2007 11:34:50 PM
I never 100% agree with Big Ginger. But this is exactly how i felt about the movie, and the trilogy. And I also had to suffer the same slings and arrows from my peers for daring to make the same comparisons. I was even going to write a letter to Mr V, congratulating him on his deft handling of the whole affair...
This is probably among the worst films ever made by mr blandings	Jun 14th, 2007 10:54:00 AM
I'm sorry, but this was a truly awful film. I was so spectacularly bored, and two of my friends fell asleep. Orlando is one of the biggest pussies on the planet and attempts to make him baddess looked stupid. Johnny Depp is a genius and his character is fantastic, but it got too silly with the over the top action set pieces. The scale was far too big and the characters just got lost. Every seen was too jam-packed, as usual with films these days. I really wish studios could just say "just because it's a sequel, doesn't mean we need MORE of anything - there's a reason why the first in most series tend to be the best!" Not that there wasn't a good film in there trying to get out. But all we really want to see is DEVELOPMENT of the characters, not just everyone doing the same thing and talking balls in different scenarios. And GIVE THE FILM ROOM TO BREATHE! The cuts came much too fast, nearly every scene was too short and you just feel they wasted a lot of money. Oh yes, and Keira is actually a giraffe.
fuckin great BUT by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell	Jun 15th, 2007 06:56:46 AM
dragged in the middle. but the last 35-45 minute fight scenes really helped the film out.
AWSOME AWSOEM AWSOME by movie-fan-carnie	Jun 15th, 2007 01:36:29 PM
This movie was a totaly joy to watch ive seen it 5 times and it jst gets better!! i dont think ive enjoyed a film this much in ages!!
forgot about this by supercowbell 4 cant stop the cowbell	Jun 17th, 2007 05:30:48 AM
http://i124.photobucket.com/al bums/p39/reviewable/POTC3.jpg so they were fake huh
Harry you are so right with this review... by Jon E Cin	Jun 20th, 2007 11:38:01 PM
Yet your fantastic four review is dead wrong. Pirates was an epic joy!!!
Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, that's all i hear by I Fucked Your Girl Twice	Jul 3rd, 2007 05:39:04 AM
First of all, you cant say Pirates was overstuffed like Spiderman3 if Pirates was almost 3 hours long....and quit fuckin saying the movie was too long.....Citizen Kane was too fuckin long (6 hours), The Godfather was too fuckin long (4 hours). those of you who bitched that Pirates was too long are also the same assholes who had NO PROBLEM watching LOTR: Return of the King (3 hours, 25 minutes). dont blame the filmmakers for YOUR shortass attention span. Stop saying the story had too many gaps....everything was RIGHT there for you to figure out. These are the same jack-offs who watched the last episode of The Sopranos and still wonder whether or not Tony got shot.
Garbage by Virdon	Jul 8th, 2007 06:00:36 AM
This was a butt-numb-a-thon and a half. I couldn't stop looking at my watch and praying it would end. Self indulgent CGI ADD waste of time and money. The story made no sense. Spiderman 3 was much better.
Mixed Opinions by loveripblade	Aug 3rd, 2007 07:51:49 AM
I liked it but at the same time i was a little disappointed. See what i mean here - http://ripbladereviews.blogspo t.com/2007/07/good-luck-captai n-jack-final-at-moment.html
Lame by JDinDahouse	Sep 1st, 2007 12:33:05 AM
So many times you get a cute movie that has a cast, crew and director that with little expectation comes up with a "fun" movie that is no more than enjoyable but gets over praised when it doesn’t suck as expected. then they over think, overwrite, overact and over produce(with boat loads of money) the sequel. Forgettable, soulless crap...
You must be joking by MaxDembo1	Sep 15th, 2007 01:32:58 PM
How anyone could actually be a fan of these overblown commercials designed to sell happy meals is beyond me.
Last by 2LeggedFreak	Dec 26th, 2007 04:49:08 AM
Came to this film after being disappointed enough by Pirates 2 to wait for the DVD. I have to say that Pirates 3 was a lot better than Pirates 2. The action seemed to be more relevant no ridiculous scenes of people fighting on big rolling wheels ) and the stroy less complicated There were some bothersome bits like the build to the release of Calypso who then basically did nothing. But overall it was an ok movie.

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