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Capone pulls out his baseball bat and goes to town on SHREK THE THIRD!!!

heck by YakMalla	May 17th, 2007 03:57:32 PM
second.
2nd? by Jaffa8	May 17th, 2007 03:59:08 PM
BLOOF? How was LOST last nite? Where's the TALKBACK? ShameI didn't win the Rocky contest. How's the TAKE A SHIT MASK?
Puss and Donkey by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:01:08 PM
That was a good movie.
Shrek the TURD... by jimmy rabbitte	May 17th, 2007 04:01:25 PM
.
Jump the by ElPaw	May 17th, 2007 04:02:41 PM
Shrek
Baseball Bat? by SimpleSandwiches	May 17th, 2007 04:04:10 PM
Sounded like he was mildly disappointed by the film. Pulling out the baseball bat made me think this movie is a complete travesty.
I'll see anything by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:04:18 PM
with Larry King
Wasn't Shrek one of Spidey's Villians? by strongbadmonkey	May 17th, 2007 04:04:41 PM
I thought I saw him amongst the throng of other guys Speedoman was fighting. You know, like Kirsten Dunst's gangly teeth, that hair-do he was sporting as a misguided youth for 2 minutes, and Aunt May's attempt at sexuality with her hair down in her nighty.
Donkey Punch by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:06:13 PM
Aunt May
Was Shrek ever funny? by Azazyel	May 17th, 2007 04:09:40 PM
I've always felt like a lone voice when talking about these movies, but they are just goddamn painful to sit through - so I ain't suprised to read this review.
But of course this soulless drek will be #1 this weeknd by Lando Griffin	May 17th, 2007 04:11:17 PM
shame because the first one was good, second one just a'ight
The "Shrek the Turd" pun... by slone13	May 17th, 2007 04:12:44 PM
...MIGHT have been somewhat remotely amusing if it hadn't been the very first thing everyone thought of when they saw the title. And if it hadn't been regurgitated at least once in every Shrek talkback for the last 6 months. Actually, I take it back. It's just not clever or funny at all. Exactly like the film itself.
Mike Myers... by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:12:57 PM
raped my Friday afternoon.
I like it when by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:20:46 PM
he pulls out his bat.
I'm hungry..... by Faust_8	May 17th, 2007 04:21:08 PM
...let's grab a taco
That girls ass by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:22:12 PM
right here on my dick
Even the pop culture references by Mgmax	May 17th, 2007 04:24:43 PM
"Even the pop culture references and song cues seem tired, obvious, and played out." So it is just like Shrek 1!
Eddie Murphy is annoying !!! by Faust_8	May 17th, 2007 04:30:32 PM
haha fucking haha. You deserve to be snubbed Oscar night for unleashing your crap movies on the public. Pluto Nash, Norbit, Nutty Professor, Daddy Day Care, Vampire in Brooklyn, Metro, Haunted Mansion. Holy shit this list goes fucking on. Dr. Doolite, Boomrang, Bowfinger. Please, the humanity. I Spy, The Distingished Gentlemen, The Klumps. Holy crap, this is as embarassing as Brendon Fraser. And how the hell did DeNiro agree to do Showtime ? Kill me now so I don't have to listen to the fucking donkey another god damned time.
Eddie Murphy by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 04:32:35 PM
is a national treasure
The only explanation for Shrek 2's success is.. by Cotton McKnight	May 17th, 2007 04:49:46 PM
It's what I call a "babysitter movie". Moms just park the kids in front of the film while they go shopping in the mall for a couple of hours. I thought that movie was garbage, by the way.
Eddie Murphy is a natural treasure? by slone13	May 17th, 2007 04:50:47 PM
Where? In Haiti?
A review I heard fit it best by godzillasushi	May 17th, 2007 04:51:48 PM
Something along the lines of Shrek now becoming what it was paroding in the first place. It's a product now. Before it was fresh. An overstayed welcome. And of course, the general public eats it up. I wish they'd save their money for Pirates or something.
Plagiarism - Link Included For Proof by kuguy3000	May 17th, 2007 04:54:23 PM
Sorry Aintitcool and fans, but I call copycat on this 'review'. First of all, there's absolutely NOTHING remotely detailed about the movie. This is Aintitcool...we're used to hyperbole. Second, I call copycat because as I was reading this work, I noticed several, several simularities to another published review...on CNN of all places. Don't believe me? I'll provide the link: http://www.cnn.com/2007/SHOWBI Z/Movies/05/17/review.shrek/in dex.html ...several ideas, including Gingy's "life flashing before eyes", Fiona's "baby shower" and "Idle's Merlin" are all sacrosanct from the CNN piece. Read both and TELL ME this isn't at least suspicious? It's one thing to hate a film on factoids, but that shouldn't have anything to do with blatant intellectual THEFT. Harry, pull this review, otherwise the hammer will come down on you. Please everyone, read both reviews... Thanks.
"But much like Spider-Man 3" by Spidey3SUCKED	May 17th, 2007 05:00:21 PM
But, as we all know, Shrek can't be as HORRIBLY FUCKING LAME as Spiderdance 3. Pirates 3, see it a bunch of times, if only to knock donkey balls S3 out of the record books again.
I wrote this exact review by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 05:00:40 PM
LAST NIGHT!
re: kuguy3000 by jimmy rabbitte	May 17th, 2007 05:08:33 PM
...yeah, I'm not really seeing it. The CNN review was definitely more verbose; but other than that the two reviews just seem to agree with each other.
Shrek is a cum farting by Automaton Overlord	May 17th, 2007 05:13:59 PM
Shrek is a cum farting granny- fister! Nuf said.
Automaton Overlord by TenaciousDoc	May 17th, 2007 05:16:14 PM
Very classy
I know now that the MTV Movie Awards by skimn	May 17th, 2007 05:30:11 PM
will really suck this year because they are airing on June ..... THE THIRD !!!!!!!!
THIS YEAR'S LITTLE MISS SHREK 2! by Pennsy	May 17th, 2007 05:31:56 PM
Thanks, Capone; you're not alone in this being called a turd deluxe.
I don't know how to by skimn	May 17th, 2007 05:32:00 PM
ambiguously feel about this movie until I read Harry's review.
Shrek in general by Wynner3	May 17th, 2007 05:34:17 PM
I liked the first one, it was unique. I hated the second one, no matter how many references they had to stuff I grew up on. So I'm not looking forward to this one. I have to expectations but I will see it just the sake of seeing it. If it's bad enough, I will take my girlfriend to see it when I break up with her sorry ass.
Jimmy u can't take my 'Shrek the TURD' comment! by Orionsangels	May 17th, 2007 05:46:14 PM
I copyrighted that bitch!
I would love to see by Bloo	May 17th, 2007 05:47:42 PM
The Shrek franchise totally turn itself on it's ear. It started out in the first one as basically Katzenbergers big F U to Disney, now the tables have turned, Dreamworks, and espically Shrek's success, forced Disney to turn to Lassiter for help, Disney uner his leadership, is making a slow but steady comeback, they are, for the most part, returning to their roots of storytelling, Shrek and esp. Dreamworks is relaying on past lurals and pop and fart jokes to make a succes. What I would love to see is Shrek move away from the pop refrences, from the lame song and dnace numbers to modern pop songs that are dated when you get/see the dvd(torrent, tv special whatever). What they need to do is go back and watch some old Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoons and focus on the Fractured Fairytales and totally reinvient itself and go THAT route. If you insist on inserting pop culture refrences, may I sugest Tom Ruegger(sp?) the gentleman that worked on Tiny Toons, Animanics, Pinky and The Brian, etc. Tiny Toons and Animanics both still hold up today as funny becasue they didn't sacrfaice the joke in orer to make the pop culture refrence but still made them. Hire some of the writers that worked on that, look BEYOND the weekend Box Office and look toward creating a movie that WON'T be an embarresment in 2, 3, 5 years.
Orionsangels... by jimmy rabbitte	May 17th, 2007 05:57:57 PM
...wasn't trying to step on any toes. No offense but I'd never heard the "Turd" title anywhere... I thought I invented it... Seriously, when you think about it... it's not that much of a leap from THIRD to TURD...
Orionsangels... by jimmy rabbitte	May 17th, 2007 06:02:23 PM
...oh... and one other thing... I just found out that FookU used Shrek the TURD in Massawyrm's review TB... I hate being unoriginal...
T4: Roboshrek vs William Wallace by Doctor_Sin	May 17th, 2007 06:14:21 PM
Directed by a stoned Danny DeVito.
Anyone else think the scottish accent was never funny? by Doc_Strange	May 17th, 2007 06:14:34 PM
How long has Myers slipped by on that fuckin STUPID accent now? Seriously I don't think the guy has ever nor will ever make a good movie. OK, the first Austin Powers was good but every movie he made before and subsequently has been complete and utter shit. I hated the first one, the second one sucked donkey balls (Pun intended), and the only thing I can see as being watchable is Puss. I got an idea: Why don't they make a spinoff based on Puss N' Boots? Oh wait, that might actually be good. Dreamworks animation isn't capable of good. They have arguably the best CG talent next to Pixar and yet they manage to fuck up ALL their movies with pop culture references and never making an effort to do timeless work. And to think I wanted to work for these guys. Shit, I'd probably go right up the totem pole seeing as how they have absolutely no talent and need some real direction. Fuck.
Why are they making a 4th? by jimmy_009	May 17th, 2007 06:36:19 PM
What other than cash could they possibly have to say with a 4th one? UGH. I know it won't happen, but I really hope #3 tanks hard.
No desire to see Shrek 3, SM3 or Pirates 3 by zekmoe	May 17th, 2007 06:37:36 PM
Because the 2 versions of all (maybe with the exception of spiderman 2) were less than well done and interesting. Give me Pixar, Ang Lee, and Bond anyday.
zekmoe by Quintus_Arrius	May 17th, 2007 07:05:47 PM
You mean Ang 'BrokeDick, woops, I fucked up the Hulk' Lee?
I was gonna come in and act funny and say by JacknChucksLovechild	May 17th, 2007 07:08:40 PM
SHREK THE TURD, but realized I'm not funny quick enough.
Shrek the Kurd by Trader Groucho 2	May 17th, 2007 08:24:58 PM
Call it Shrek the Kurd. Plop the ogre and his brood into present-day northern Iraq. Evil Americans promise Shrek protection, but cut off the water to his swamp, turning it to dust. Shrek and his pals must find a fairy-tale way to unite the warring religious and tribal factions, and lead them against the evil occupying Americans so he can take oil-pool baths in his swamp in peace. Special return cameo by John Lithgow as blood-soaked General Petrayeus, whom Shrek keeps referring to as "Betray-us".
Banderas by fluffybunnywhiskers	May 17th, 2007 09:51:40 PM
Is awesome and the best thing about Shreks. So I liked Shrek 2 more than Shrek 1 because of Puss, but the first's story is definitely better than Shrek 2.
To quote Buzz Lightyear... by Osmosis Jones	May 17th, 2007 10:07:59 PM
"You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity." Honestly, in a Hollywood that produces shit sandwiches like Epic Movie on a weekly basis, I don't understand the sheer bile spewed at the Shrek movies. Yeah, they're wildly overmarketed, but what the fuck ISN'T these days? The Shrek movies are consistently funny, beautifully-animated, and feature excellent voice work. Now Surf's Up...there's something to complain about.
actually, they DO have the ink on a PUSS N' BOOTS movie by microwavable?	May 17th, 2007 10:15:06 PM
and i think Banderas already signed a contract to do it right after Shrek 2. i doubt it's even been scripted yet though. i'm guessing they're waiting to see how this shit movie does. part 3 will make money, but it won't come close to Shrek 2. if that turns out to be the case, it wouldn't be a bad idea to finance the spinoff instead, a la X-Men 3 and Wolverine. but regardless, the fact that they've already signed Mike Myers up to SHREK FUCKING FIVE is a total slap to the audience. "You'll suck this down and thank us after part 4, bitches!" at least we can look forward to Madagascar 2. oh wait.
Pop Culture References... by Helljin	May 17th, 2007 10:20:29 PM
...suck! They are simply a crutch for poor writing and no creativity. How long does it take for a movie to become dated due to these. I thought the first Shrek was great, the second I lked the basic story line but thought is was trashed by all the "Pop Culture BS" sad to hear the third is a repeat of the second.
ogre VS spider by Maclovin	May 17th, 2007 10:28:33 PM
seen both... green guy wins in every category except the award for "shittest club dance sequence ever to play on movie screens"
Anger... by Reznik	May 17th, 2007 11:38:18 PM
There are a lot of angry postings here. Why all the frustration over a movie generally intended for children? I'm sure most of the people posting here are over 6 years of age. As if adults would go and see this thinking it would be some kind of tour-de-force blockbuster film? the likes of which are unmatched at every angle? plot, pop culture references, script, story... if it made you laugh even once it did its job. Then people posting "I'm not even going to see this piece of shit." yet they had the motivation to read an entire review about it and furthermore post their feelings on the subject. Oh well, I thought the shrek movies were enjoyable, kind of like watching any half-wit cartoon on cartoon network / adult swim. Sorry, I just don't see why people would be "angry" about this... it just makes no sense.
Eddie Murphy by Otto Parts	May 17th, 2007 11:39:08 PM
You gotta give it up to the guy for his SNL work, 48 HRS, Trading Places, Beverly Hills Cop, hell, even the Golden Child. My man was on a roll back then. He needs to find himself a good director & script and get out of this kid's movie horseshit. Who cares about any of this crap?
Third times a charm! by lost.rules	May 17th, 2007 11:41:41 PM
Not in Hollywood, though.
So I guess it's 'Jumped the Shrek'? by Jugs	May 18th, 2007 12:15:52 AM
Muhahahaha....and am I in trouble if somebody got there first as I didn't read everybodies replies.
hey everybody, ebert's back! by Cotton McKnight	May 18th, 2007 02:01:21 AM
well sort of. I just read his review of this, and he echoed everyone else's sentiments. More eloquently, I might add.
Shrek the 4th by Mister Fame	May 18th, 2007 12:15:59 PM
They go to disneyworld and take a shit.
Whatever, the second one was a punch in the nuts by Lost Skeleton	May 18th, 2007 01:51:55 PM
...so what do you expect, and "3" sucked ass. Looks like Die Hard and Transformers will be the only moderately entertaining films this summer. Oh, get ready for the 3 hours of mess that is Pirates 3. At least we got the Dark Knight to look foward to next year.
Let's be honest: Shrek 2 was horrible... by Pdorwick	May 18th, 2007 02:10:45 PM
...it was a prime example of a bad-sequel-for-money. Why are we surprised Shrek 3 is any different.
Myers was born liverpool by emeraldboy	May 18th, 2007 02:22:49 PM
and I remember when mike myers worked with timmy mallet. he had no career back then and everyone was stunned by how well he has done. 6 of the biggest comedy films of all time. Shrek 1 and 2, Waynes World 1 and 2 and austin Powers, 1,2,3. the fast asleep club. Niell Mullarky was his comedy partner. Things got so bad he had to go back to america. and the rest history. I feel so sorry for Dana Carvey. want to know much they all get paid for shrek. Myers and company get 20 million each for shrek.
the first shrek is the best and for two by emeraldboy	May 18th, 2007 02:35:49 PM
reasons. John lithgow and it was made after Katzenberg got his ass booted out of the magic kingdom. Eisner was one to something when he fired katezenberg and he has been proven correct. Look at Katzenbergs tenure at dreamworks animation. They cannot compete with Pixar. and they wont. I mean 9 mins of Ratatouille is up on apple.com. It has oscar written all over it. it has a great director in the chair. brad bird. Cars was the best animated of last year. penguins be damned. Myers, diaz and murphy all get paid 20 million. Dreamworks is a license to print money and at the expense being creative and nothing more.
notice as transformers nears and with by emeraldboy	May 18th, 2007 02:48:09 PM
every new trailer. It looks like the hate has been extinguished. I cant wait to see it. regarding the anger. Rather than have anti hollywood message. Shrek plays to the gallery. Its all about inner beauty. Shrek has become safer and safer with every film. there was a bit of edge in the first and none in the second and from what I see none in the third film. Shrek 2 was more of an excuse to try out new technology then tell a decent story. and thats why it stank.
you're kidding! by carneguisada	May 18th, 2007 03:35:21 PM
Shrek 4? The SECOND one sucked. My god.
Shrek 4 will be directed by by emeraldboy	May 18th, 2007 04:33:40 PM
Mike Michell.
Yea! Drek the Turd. I love mass-audience shlock! by Puddleglum	May 18th, 2007 06:01:27 PM
BAAAAAARF!
Is it me or does Donkey look by JUSTICE41	May 18th, 2007 07:16:36 PM
Is it me or does Donkey look like Woopie Goldberg? an that broad is fucking ugly. Oh and this flick will stink like the other two.
Just saw it, and it was ok with a few dull patches. by ExcaliburFfolkes	May 18th, 2007 08:26:29 PM
Two really dull patches, actually. During those scenes people were checking their cell phones and making trips to the bathroom in mass. Also, the plot felt like it was based around a few discarded ideas from the previous film. Almost as if it was an alternate scenerio cut out from Shrek 2.
it was better than the first two... by jig98	May 18th, 2007 08:51:31 PM
yes, it is. it was fantastic. i was so worried it would suck before the second wasn't as good as the first {story, joke and song choice wise}. and it is 6 years to the day the first film was released and became an instant classic. i always love watching this excedingly amazing animation, and enjoy all these talented people involved with this sort of material. antonio banderas scores a big laugh when shrek finds out he's gonna be a dad and the whole donkey-puss switcharoo thing was hilarous and raises some questions. once again, some things didn't quite come together and the songs weren't all that great including all the pop culture-in joke stuff. but there were enough laughs, sentimental and satirical pull-offs for me to enjoy it. {oh yes, this will make huge bank} let's just hope they don't strike out on the fourth one and fingers crossed for pirates 3 next week!
THIS MOVIE SUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by GibsonUSA Returns	May 19th, 2007 01:37:41 AM
I want my $10.50 back! Sad considering I loved the first and second ones. WTF...didnt they know this movie would suck while making it? Its impossible not to have known.
$39M opening day...can that be 'meh', possibly? by Pennsy	May 19th, 2007 07:32:07 PM
It'll outdo Spidey this weekend, but then the 8000 lb gorilla with the sexiest tomboy on the planet will probably hit $200m next weekend.
Yes, it was Horrible by Maui	May 31st, 2007 11:13:30 AM
Need I say anymore? Very disappointing. Lame, lame, lame. They need to stop. THere is nowhere else to go. Shrek and Fiona divorce? Their 3 kids become teenage juvenile delinquents. They have used up all up the fairy tale humour, dumb steterotypes - there is nothing left.

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Capone pulls out his baseball bat and goes to town on SHREK THE THIRD!!!

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