The first was ok, the fourth wasn't funny at all...neither as a joke, nor as a matter of good taste.

To post that was just plain ignorant.

not disagreeing...it's ridiculously unfunny and racist, I just can't be bothered typing out specifics...

The point is, the parrot was offended that the guy was stereotyping all parrots as being called polly and eating crackers, and so made an ironic crack back about 'niggas' and melons.

I'm kidding. I'm white. I just thought the joke, and all of 'em really, were sorta lame. Now if all of y'zall will 'scuse me, I'm fixin' to get me a bucket of the colonel's secret recipe.

You can't call out another talbacker for double standards when you write "heres one for you- the 'shit all over quint' contest! all you need to do is try to have an entertaining and offbeat contest for an interesting prize, and the person that opens their bowels the most wins!! jesus- cut the man some slack!" then decide to follow that post with a bunch of lame and racist jokes yet when Priapic shows restraint he's beyond your comprehension.

firstly none of the jokes where particulary funny, I've found the thread and the jokes in it more hilarious.

Secondly the Nigga joke was particualry distatseful

thirdly really was planet are you aintitcool contributors from? Qunit? really, do you have any common sense? did you really think it was appropriate to put that joke in? You really couldnt find a better one?

I know where you are coming from, you hang around with your pals and happy to crack the odd nigga joke here and there, hell there are worse things said on the threads. But really, we're not buddies, its fucking inappropriate,a huge miscaluation in judgement and i expected better from the team.

Q.how do you start telling a rascist joke? A. By first looking around the room carefully

THANK YOU CHURCH CAMP!

The Irishman replies, "When I left Ireland, my two brothers and I made a pact. Wherever we were, for the rest of our lives when we sat down for a drink, we'd drink like this to remember the times when we used to come to the pub together."

"That's beautiful," says the landlord, "the next round's on me". And after that, the Irishman becomes a regular at the bar. Each time he comes in, he orders three beers, and drinks them the same way. He quickly becomes the barman's favorite patron.

A few weeks later, the Irishman walks into the bar looking slightly depressed. He walks to the bar and orders... two beers. The barman, overcome with sorrow, hands him the beers and shakes his head sadly. "I'm so sorry for your loss," he says.

The Irishman looks surprised a moment, then comprehension dawns on his face. "Oh, no one's dead," he says, "I've just given up drinking."

At no time did it occur to Mr. Quint to show some courtesy toward humanity and eliminate racist jokes from the winners? (Winners? Sure, everyone's a winner!) There's a world full of people that don't believe it's in anyway cool to perpetuate the notion that it's okay to revert to the Jim Crow era for humor.

You see, Quint, Jim Crow is not an expert in dirty animal jokes.

If you had a single brain cell left in your head, you'd take joke four down and apologize. You've already named the winners, so I'm not suggesting you disqualify the parrot joke, but you sure in hell should disqualify yourself from judging humor contests.

Not funny. It's just not funny.

From Quint's original post announcing the contest: "I'll pick my five favorite jokes and post them here. My decisions are final, although I promise my judgment will be clearer than the Academy's when they gave Streisand and A STAR IS BORN the Oscar for Best Song over Conti's GONNA FLY NOW."

Judgment? Your judgment sucks, fella. Time to wear the Ribbons of Shame.

Joke 5 was funny based on shock value because you rarely hear analingus jokes on TV. (In fact Tina Fey's "Colonel Angus" sketch was about the only one I can think of. It;s also an 'in joke' because you have to know that was the name of Rocky's dog in order to 'get it' and 'in jokes' always make the listener feel smart.

Here's an old Dave Allen joke I always liked:

A guy walks into a gay bar and sits down at the bar by another guy. The guy that was sitting there says "I should warn you, I'm a sadist. I like to hurt people." The other guy says "That's perfect, I'm a masochist, I love to be hurt. Go ahead, hit me, slap me, beat me, spank me, hurt me." The sadist looks at him and just says "No."

The guy says "I can't applaud, it's too tight."

The woman says "See, I told you!"

[old Redd Foxx punchline.]

What's the difference between a shame and a pity?
If a busload of lawyers goes over a cliff and there are no survivors, that's a pity. If there were any empty seats, that's a shame.

Why is it a violation of the Professional Code of Ethics to have sex with a client?
Double-billing is strictly forbidding.

How many lawyers does it take to roof a house?
Depends on how thin you slice them.

Did you hear about the woman with no legs who won "strawberry picker of the year"?

Jammy cunt.

Go straight for the juggler!

Phillipe Flop.

I'm not posting them because of sour grapes. I'm putting them up to rinse out the foul taste left in my mouth, and maybe someone here might get a chuckle, which is the point of telling a joke, Quint. The first one is one of my favorite jokes, just because I love the little duck so much. The second demonstrates how you can use ethnicity or race in a joke without being an ass, and the last one is just because you can never have too many blow job jokes:

A duck walks into a bar. He looks up at the bartender and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender looks down and tells him, "No, we don't have no grapes." The duck leaves the bar in silence. The duck comes into the bar the next day and asks again for grapes. The bartender isn't in the mood and barks, "I told you yesterday that we don't have any grapes. If you come in here again asking for grapes, I'm gonna nail yer feet to the floor!" The duck leaves, perturbed. The following day, the same duck enters the bar. He walks right up to face the bartender and asks, "Do you have any nails?" Confused, the bartender replies, "No, we don't have no nails." The duck paused for a beat and then asks, "Do you have any grapes?"

A couple of friends were out fishing when their boat was attacked by a pair of great white sharks. When they didn't return to shore as expected, the Coast Guard was notified and went out looking for them. The men were both from Europe--one from Poland, the other from the Czech Republic. While out looking for the missing men, the Coast Guard ship came across a large fishing boat that had just caught a pair of great whites, one male, one female. The crew who caught the sharks were alerted by the Coast Guard that there may be bodies inside the sharks. With care, they sliced open the belly of the female. A man's arm spilled out on deck. On the sleeve of the jacket that was still on the arm, the Polish flag was easy to see. At this point, the skipper removed his hat, wiped his brow, and gestured to the other shark and said, "I guess that means the Czech is in the male."

A male and female whale were swimming in the open ocean when the male spotted a naval vessel close by. "Do you want to have a little fun?" he asked the female. She gave it a second and then answered, "Sure. What do you have in mind?" "Well, we swim just under that ship up there and blast it with air from our blow holes," he said, "and when the ship capsizes, we eat all the sailors!" She thought about it for a moment and replied, "I'm all for the blow job, but there's no way I'm swallowing the seamen."

I always wonder why there is such silence from the AICN powers-that-be when something like this happens? I recall a while back there was a stupid headline for a story about competing films dealing with Harvey Milk and not a word from Harry etc, because it's okay to mock gays, because, you know, they're gay! And I guess it's okay to foist crap like the parrot joke on us because, you know, these guys are hep and modern, and hep and modern fellas can pollute the web with racist "humor" because it's "edgy."

Quint, recall the start of Die Hard with a Vengeance? When Bruce Willis wore that sandwich board, he wasn't meant to be edgy or funny. When he walked out onto that Harlem street, he was possibly going to get his ass killed, or at least serious kicked around. That's a good demonstration of how certain people respond to the use of certain racial epithets. Since you seem to only have any sensitivity to what happens in movies, I figured I'd use a film reference as a way to point out your cluelessness.

Your words, Quint: "I don't care who you are." Obviously, there's a lot you do not care about. Maybe you can use this as on opportunity to grow a little. Or maybe you don't get it and never will. That would be the ultimate shame.

Next day the doorbell rings, and when she answers the door she finds a guy in a wheelchair with no arms and no legs.

He says "I'm here for the job. I got no arms, so I can't beat ya. I got no legs, so I can't run out on ya.

She asks "What make you think you can satisfy me sexually?

Guy replies with a wink, "I rang the doorbell..."

Harry eating it afterwards.

The problem is that the racial slur used is the most popular and the joke won't succeed with lesser known slurs unless you live in an ethnic area. For instance, I grew up in an Irish/Italian neighborhood... so:
"Paddy wanna potato?"
"Guinea wanna canoli?"
might work, but just not the same effect. Still could be viewed at racist, of course.

By the way, anybody see the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour?

Maz Jobrani does a bit on Arabs and Iranians that's pretty funny. (He's Persian and the others in the group are Arab). You can find it on YouTube.

I agree, the joke is not racist as much as it is offensive. If it had the redeeming characteristic of being funny, it would be a bit more defensible, but when the entire purpose of the joke seems to be the set up of the last line, it's offensive and insulting.

"Offensive" shouldn't be a qualifying trait.

See, it's racist because we Scots all fuck sheep. It works with Australians, too, if you can do the dialect.

On the 'it's alright when they say it' argument, if a white person says "N*****" to me, I walk away. If a black person says "N*****" to me, I run. Is that racist? Yeah, I thought so. But it keeps me out of fights.

"The heaviest blow that ever struck humanity was the coming of Christianity. Bolshevism is Christianity's illegitimate child. Both are inventions of the Jew. The deliberate lie in the matter of religion was introduced into the world by Christianity" Adolf Hitler

I love how Jestafool's response is "fuck you." I never even brought up the person who submitted the joke in my criticism. Any moron can copy and paste a lame joke from jokes.com. David Duke might have sent in some of his favorite pickaninny and lil' black Sambo jokes for all I know or care. I would just like to see a little more respect shown for people from different walks of life by some of the editors at this site. But I guess that's a silly thing to expect.