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The Chicago Kid says SHREK THE THIRD is for 5-year-olds. 5-year-olds, Dude!

Shrek is green-skinned rapist by LittleDudes	May 3rd, 2007 03:07:00 AM
I saw him rapin' the other day. She was only 12. It's also keen to note that the Shrek series are pieces of shit. I hope Mike Myers gags on some. www. little - dudes . co . nz
Shrek should be grey... by wadi77	May 3rd, 2007 03:08:34 AM

FOURTH! by AcesOfSamSpade	May 3rd, 2007 03:12:16 AM
FOURTH!
yeah I got that feeling from the trailers too by misnomer	May 3rd, 2007 03:20:21 AM
in all fairness Shrek 3 was always pretty unnecessary....I remember reading that they were planning a total of 6 movies and a Puss In Boots spin-off as well. "lets suck em dry donkey"
Sounds pretty much like the first two installments by Stollentroll	May 3rd, 2007 03:22:56 AM
The headline reminds me that the Coens still have to make that jesus movie! Please!
FUCK DIE HARD 4! by Leafy McPlantsalot	May 3rd, 2007 03:22:59 AM
my anger could not be contained by just one talk back. sorry.
Where's ya Spidey 3 review Harry? by RighteousBrother	May 3rd, 2007 03:26:12 AM
come on!
so like Austin Powers by RokurGepta	May 3rd, 2007 03:28:10 AM
Michael Meyers is taking it too far, and raping the character....
The first Shrek was a good movie by Boondock Devil	May 3rd, 2007 03:29:00 AM
I enjoyed it quite a bit and then after a few years "The Incredibles" and "Monster House" came out and completely raised the bar for animated cg films. There are a lot of talented people on this project just like the first two and the sad thing is that instead of doing something new they'll be churning out sequels and spin-off films.
Well thats a shame by evil mystical ninja	May 3rd, 2007 03:30:39 AM
Yeah this kinda just confirms what the crappy trailers were telling me... it's always worrying when a trailer for a 'comedy' doesn't make you laugh. At all. --- At least there's not much chance of anyone screaming PLANT for this one
shrek was a kids movie too. by kingoflight	May 3rd, 2007 03:49:51 AM
But they were both kids movies and no where near the quality of incredibles or toy story.
Shrek series = cinematic mediocrity by Mullah Omar	May 3rd, 2007 04:07:41 AM
The best I could say about the first and second films is that they were okay. I just don't like movies that expect to get the bulk of their laughs from pop culture references.
the condition on seeing SPIDER-MAN early by HEADGEEK	May 3rd, 2007 04:16:46 AM
was to hold my review till Friday morning. It's fun, but not much more.
is there any hope for venom? by iwontwin	May 3rd, 2007 04:34:45 AM
any resurrection possibilities? seriously, why would they want to eliminate a young actor like topher grace after 10 mins of screen time?
Hey, how about we keep the talkbacks spoiler-free. by CoursinLarry	May 3rd, 2007 04:38:11 AM
I am seriously pissed that people have to be such douchebags. By the way, Shrek 2 was in no way a quality movie.
I think that Shrek 3 will loose out this summer by knifeandfork	May 3rd, 2007 04:52:22 AM
I think shrek will be one of this summers loosers. Why ? No shrek babies. I know it sound silly, but the sitcomish nature of part 2 has unintentionally given veiwers an indication of what to expect next -shrek and fiona havin kids. Yeah the trailer does suggest it at the very end but tellingly,thats the only part people get excited over-its what the fanswant to see. If the entire movie was based on this concept, then shrek 3 would fucking trample the competition. But it isnt ,which is why this wont do as well as the dreamworks are hoping . Oh and um....TOO SILVER ! KATZENBERG GOTTA EAT ! (I had to work a talkback catchphrase in here somewhere.Wouldnt be right with out it)
The coloUr of shrek by Quintus_Arrius	May 3rd, 2007 05:15:19 AM
Indeed Shrek is the same coloUr as the goo that seeps from an old mans nose.... Pure boggy! I have NEVER got what the big deal was about this franchise. I think its very poor. And I always end up deeply vexed when my seven year old demands that we watch the previous installments. I just can't stand it. I hope it dive-bombs this summer and hopefully that will be the end of it. Oh, and I got a feeling that Spiderman will be less than adequate...
If what happens at the end of Spidey 3 is what the TBs by iamnicksaicnsn	May 3rd, 2007 06:11:01 AM
have been saying... I'm going to be so fucking disappointed. Didn't directors learn anything from the first set of Batman movies??? STOP KILLING THE VILLAINS. Even Schumacher was smart enough not to kill The Riddler, even though we thankfully never had the chance to see what happened to him after the Assylum.
MY 3 Word review.... by MaulRat	May 3rd, 2007 06:40:21 AM
........... Shrek the Turd.
THIS YEAR'S LITTLE MISS SNORE-FEST!!! by Err	May 3rd, 2007 07:12:24 AM
I knew Shrek 3 would suck. Number 2 wasn't all that good. The first one was awesome.
The Iron Giant. by Jakes Nel	May 3rd, 2007 07:12:36 AM
Greatest animated film ever!
i agree with ya, knifeandfork by council estate scumbag	May 3rd, 2007 07:24:32 AM
i was anticipating some little kids for shrek the third and thats why i was looking forward to this one. Cross-breed Donkey kids with that dragon bird sounded wicked. I was hoping shrek and fiona would have some sprogs of their own but alas. this film is a retread of what we've all seen before. I hope it bombs.
Um... by Zarles	May 3rd, 2007 07:35:24 AM
The first two were for five-year-olds, too.
I don't understand your review by Arghh	May 3rd, 2007 07:51:32 AM
You know, I don't understand it when people say that a movie is only for five year olds, its as if they are saying that people of this age (and they are people, for your information) are too stupid to appreciate a good movie, and dumb enough to enjoy a bad one. When I was a kid I had the same taste of movies that I do now (only less broad for the obvious reason that I didn't have full command of the language). And I know several other kids for which this is the same case.
I do not belive that this reviewer even saw the film. by majortom25	May 3rd, 2007 07:57:32 AM
This was an extremely horrible review. has he even seen any of the shrek films before? He was compalining that it was a by the books fairy tale. HE then says this is acceptable. Um its supposed to be . This was the worst review of a movie I have ever seen on this site. Even all the plant reviews are better then this.
I love the Shrek movies by Osmosis Jones	May 3rd, 2007 09:13:12 AM
Fuck y'all.
I'm with Billy West. by Christopher3	May 3rd, 2007 09:59:34 AM
Enough with the distracting and incompetent celebrity voices.
Shrek is drek by Sepulchrave	May 3rd, 2007 10:01:08 AM
Slimy pop-cultural references held together by the veneer that we're satirizing the pop-culture. Ooh-hoo, John Lithgow in the first one was supposed to be a stab at Michael Eisner. How deliciously wicked; we all loved that one. And how I loved the way that they got John Lithgow, a great comic actor and just...threw him away. I hate Shrek; it's as plasticky as the old He-Man cartoons from the 80s.
SHREK MOVIES ARE GODDAMNED BORING ! ! by Pound Sand	May 3rd, 2007 10:43:54 AM
And like Shrek 2, it's just a big cash in. I guess I missed the big cry-out from the animated cartoon community about the need for a triology on this one.
PLANT!!!!! by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz	May 3rd, 2007 11:11:22 AM
I am totally kidding lol, it just would not be a TB without seeing that in the subject header. Anyway that's a real bummer if it's as bad as that review says it is. I loved the first 2. I will agree that the trailers have not been that great and it seems the studio is not pushing this movie as hard as the 2nd one which leads me to believe that maybe they know they got a turd and don't want to spend as much on it as they did with 2. Oh well, I am not going to be crushed if it stinks since there are other movies I am more anxious to see like, TRANSFORMERS!!!
the tepid buzz on Spider-Man 3 is making me sad by Lance Rock	May 3rd, 2007 11:16:25 AM
Damn, I was really hoping for the best when I first heard they were trying to put 3 villains into the movie. I was afraid they were overreaching, and from the early reviews, it seems they didn't succeed. Sigh...
Empire: It's role in Shrek the Third's downfall by Thomas Cromwell	May 3rd, 2007 01:01:40 PM
Like what they do with all major studio releases, Empire did a double-spread on Shrek the Third extolling how wonderful and exciting the film will be. No doubts, no 'hmmms'just pure sychophantic praise. Thus was Shrek the Third, along with 'Grindhouse', Van Helsing etc condemned to box office hell and shite reviews. Filmmakers beware of Empire's praise!
I've already re-named it 'Shrek the Turd' by SifoDyasJr.	May 3rd, 2007 01:50:23 PM
C'mon Mike Myers-do something original for a change!
Majortom by LeviDTinker	May 3rd, 2007 03:15:02 PM
He said it was UNACCEPTABLE. he also indicated that alot of the things that people thought were great about the 1st to movies were missing in this one. so i think that goes to show hes seen the first two films. just because someone doesnt give away everylittle detail about a film doesnt mean they havent seen it.
Mr Shrek LaBeouf the rapist by Stuntcock Mike	May 3rd, 2007 03:33:28 PM
Shrektum
Lookin' more and more... by DarthMusashi2112	May 3rd, 2007 04:00:24 PM
like Pirates of the Caribbean will OWN this summer...all we need is Eva Mendes' boobies yo...
STARDUST, KNOCKED UP and SUPERBAD?? by Monkey Drunkard	May 3rd, 2007 04:49:01 PM
I can only assume his impaired judgement is the result of a stroke or embolism. Any movie with plot keyword 'unicorn' deserves no such attention.
UMMM...Yeah by PBoy	May 3rd, 2007 05:13:11 PM
Well It was a short and too the point review. But Like some have said in other talk backs. Don't underestimte the power of the soccer mom. Personally I would like to see some more deversity in american animation. Stop the sequels. that said we could do worse than A shrek film. Ant Bully 2?
Arghh....you're kidding right? by pdennett316	May 3rd, 2007 06:39:37 PM
Do you live near a Mensa facility? I'm sorry, but kids are fucking idiots. They WILL watch any old shite thats put in front of them as long as it has primary colours all over the screen. Kids wouldn't know a good film if it bit their dick off - how else can you explain the popularity of high School Musical? Anyway, bummer about this it doesnt sound good at all.
WHAT A SHOCK!! by Redfive!	May 3rd, 2007 08:34:13 PM
Shrek was bearly a good movie,i enjoyed it and it had its moments,but now were on the 3rd one and theres really nowhere to go.Make fun of more pop culture is so old and dumb now.i wish these would go away.
justin timberlake??? by drdoom_v	May 4th, 2007 01:20:20 AM
That's all I need to hear..I'M OUT! There goes my ten bucks--see ya! NEXT!
Oh, great by TheGoddamnSiege	May 7th, 2007 03:12:51 AM
My girlfriend wants me to go see this with her.
Shrek was not a kids movie by Gay Jesus Christ	May 10th, 2007 07:48:32 PM
Remember when the prince/king guy was in bed and it alluded to the fact he had a boner and had been masturbating? I was totally appalled that little kids had to be forced to see that shit! Shrek was awful Shrek 2 was an improvement but they fucked it up with the ricky martin song at the end. I will not see shrek 3 just because spiderman 3 was so bad and x-men 3 was so bad and matrix 3 was so bad. It's gonna be bad.
Shrek Drek by skylarking	May 11th, 2007 01:54:27 PM
My five year old hated Shrek II, so I guess I can skip this third one. And the trainers I've seen have been completely unfunny.

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The Chicago Kid says SHREK THE THIRD is for 5-year-olds. 5-year-olds, Dude!

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