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Yep... This Is It... Your Very First TRANSFORMERS Review!

sweeping the leg by CobraKai	Apr 27th, 2007 01:08:10 PM
And coming in first!
2nd - maybe - now to read the article by kinghenryVIII	Apr 27th, 2007 01:10:14 PM

Giant robots fighting! by Fecal Debris	Apr 27th, 2007 01:10:32 PM
No complaints here.
let me guess? a first time reviewer? by splungiest	Apr 27th, 2007 01:11:32 PM
because this reviewer reeks of chlorophyll and manure.
PLANT by DrDestructo	Apr 27th, 2007 01:12:49 PM
Dude, at least put some effort into selectively disparaging things. So much to choose from and the only thing you really hated on was the lips?
"Transformation sound from the cartoon" by Fecal Debris	Apr 27th, 2007 01:14:02 PM
Ah, the glorious "WAH-COO-CLAANK!" I too, achieved arousal just reading about that.
People have made thier minds up already by emeraldboy	Apr 27th, 2007 01:14:47 PM
about this film. and without seeing it. its bay movie with a an apparantly lousy script. the fact that it is bay film was all people needed.
FANTASTIC, now remove the lips and we got THE ULTIMATE. by Evil Hobbit	Apr 27th, 2007 01:14:57 PM
FANTASTIC, now remove the lips and we got THE ULTIMATE transformers movie.
emerald boy by Grayle	Apr 27th, 2007 01:16:21 PM
Apparently you've already made up your mind about it before seeing it too.... interesting how that works
MORE LIKE AN ORGY OF SUCKASSERY by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:16:52 PM
The lips, my God, THE LIPS!
BAY WILL KICKS ALL YUR ASSES 747!!! w00t! by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 01:17:14 PM
this is NOT TOY MOVE!!! http://bayformers.blogspot.com /2007/04/transformers-your-toy s-wont-work-on-teh.html
I'm an open Michael Bay supporter, too by DerLanghaarige	Apr 27th, 2007 01:17:15 PM
Minus The Rock, Bad Boys 1 and Pearl Harbor. And IF this reviewer is a plant, he is one of the smarter ones, because it sounds 95% real.
Plantada by asterix_te	Apr 27th, 2007 01:18:01 PM
de todos modos, aunque los reviews que pongan la describan malisima, estare en el cine el dia de su estreno para verla. (I'll see it anyway) Quien puede perderse la oportunidad de ver una pelea de robots gigantes?
15 YEAR OLD FAT KIDS GOTTA CHEST BUMP by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:18:02 PM
ridiculous
yes! argue for me nerds!! by BadMrWonka	Apr 27th, 2007 01:19:24 PM
nerds arguing is like my heroin... oh I'm gonna be high all day...
BRING ON THE BANG BANG by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:20:02 PM
What about the pivotal "dog peeing on Optimus," part?
* sigh * Where do you even begin... by magnetozx	Apr 27th, 2007 01:20:25 PM
with a review like this? This guys claims to be 28, but he sounds like a 13-year-old. "Orgy of kickassery"? Good grief. And how about this gem: "Explosions, destruction, robots flying through the air... This is what I wanted to see out of this movie." The only thing this review proves is that if you love Micheal Bay, you'll love this movie too. What a surprise.
GREAT SUMMER POPCORN FLICK!!! by TiNSeLToWN TeRRoR	Apr 27th, 2007 01:21:17 PM
BRING IT!!!!CAN'T WAIT!!!! Transformers & Pirates 3 will be the 2 Biggest and Best POPCORN Flix this Year! Both in Moneymade and COOLNESS!!! NOW someone make a LIVE ACTION GI JOE MOVIE!! But NOOOO SHIA! AND NOOOO NIPPLES ON SNAKE-EYES!!! ONLY NIPS ON SCARLET & LADY JAYE AND THE BARONESS!!!
YOU GOT THE TOUCH!! by mgmontgomery	Apr 27th, 2007 01:21:26 PM
YOU GOT THE POWER!!
Not first! by Charlie & Tex	Apr 27th, 2007 01:21:58 PM
Sounds like it could be better than we thought. It would have been nice to compltely remove Optimus Prime's lips, but you can't have everything. They just hastily included the mouth-shield in an attempt to appease the hardcore fans.
Reserving judgement by toadkillerdog	Apr 27th, 2007 01:22:09 PM
I will just wait and see the movie before rendering any opinion on the merits of the director, and the movie itself. But since this is AICN, and since quite a geeks have never matured past fecal throwing stage - I do not expect the majority to take that view.
Fucking hell. Break out the Agent Orange by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 01:22:12 PM
Plantiest sentence I have ever read: He doesn't speak at all, he talks through the radio….which sounds really lame, and is really lame for the first couple times but then it stopped bothering me and became kinda funny (intentionally) oh dear. The classic admit to something everyone already knew was shit to try to fool people into thinking that you are not a plant. Sort of like the sentinel thing the plants came out with in X3 reviews last year.
WHEN IT'S TIME TO FIGHT, THEY FIGHT BAY STYLE by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:22:17 PM
Man, this review is a cornucopia of ludicrous comments
A 28 year old guy just said "Flames are Cool!" by GibsonUSA Returns	Apr 27th, 2007 01:22:26 PM
I wanna see what this guy looks like. 28 year old guy....7 years out of college.....just said flames on Optimus was cool....
Well.. by zb.brox	Apr 27th, 2007 01:22:31 PM
...I'm happy to hear that the action is so kickass, but this really did nothing to alleviate my fears that the robots won't do anything but kickass, and the story itself with center on pussy humans I care nothing for. Also, I'm very upset to hear that there is so little Starscream in it. Ah well. Guess we'll see.
YAY... by justcheckin	Apr 27th, 2007 01:24:36 PM
YAY......
THE ARMY GOES MICHAEL BAY ON HIS ASS by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:24:36 PM
We should try this in Iraq.
BEST LINE OF THIS REVIEW = "(I'M 28)" by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:25:34 PM

BAY STILL GOTS THE TOUCH!!!! by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 01:25:59 PM
its like 1998 agin, not 1984 HATERZ!!! BAY WILL OWN YUR SUMER!!!
if its a plant, fuck it by moners	Apr 27th, 2007 01:26:12 PM
The "review" literally just explained exactly what people ALREADY like/dislike. no new info, all we got there was "Im a Bay fan, therefore I liked it". Bias trash.
horseshit. I'm 28 and would never say "Flames are cool" by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 01:26:39 PM
Apart from then. Never again will I say flames are cool. From Now.... to say that just proves you're a fucking plant.
Alright, well that was fun by godzillasushi	Apr 27th, 2007 01:27:47 PM
Clearly he's a bit amped up from getting to see the screening. But heck, it doesn't sound all that bad. Unforunatly, it sounds like they focused on the humans a bit too much. Starscream not coming till later...kinda sucky. But hey, he says it was great so whatever.
moners by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 01:28:56 PM
this is because everyone already knows that if you are a bay fan you will like it. If you hate bay, and have problems with the script, design, anal rape of childhood etc, you are never going to be convinced, so there is no point in appealing to you, so the plant may as well consolidate his fan base.
I've seen Fat Kids do chest bumps too by Bobo_Vision	Apr 27th, 2007 01:29:14 PM
Many times. But it was unintentional. They were just trying to walk past each other.
we've been had - all this worrying about his by durhay	Apr 27th, 2007 01:29:22 PM
flames while we never considered his robot lips! From now on let him be known as LIPITOR, THE ROBOT WITH LIPS.
HE SOUNDS OLDER AND MORE BASSY THAN HE DID IN THE SHOW by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:30:15 PM
love it.
Cardsfan34, you have created an Instant AICN Classic ! by Pound Sand	Apr 27th, 2007 01:32:09 PM
each paragraph, carefully constructed, is gold.
Did Michael Bay say where he was going after the show? by BGDAWES	Apr 27th, 2007 01:33:24 PM
I bet he drove off to Vegas to go snort some coke off a hooker's ass. Also, I'm an open Michael Bay supporter too and like all of his movies except for The Island, Bad Boys 2, Pearl Harbor, Armageddon, The Rock, and Bad Boys 1.
PLANTFORMERS: Reviewers in Disguise by LaneMyersClassic	Apr 27th, 2007 01:33:36 PM
I actually liked "The Island." Gotta agree on the Megan Fox T&A.
have you ever... by Spice-Orange	Apr 27th, 2007 01:34:27 PM
NOT gone to a blockbuster because reviews were bad? this movie will make lots of money. bad reviews or not. and the "keecoo keecoo keecoo" sound is in the movie?! holy shit. im excited!!!
Are you F**king kidding me, talk about a plant by satman83	Apr 27th, 2007 01:35:34 PM
It's nice to see that the studios that relie on our money, find the need to to try this kind of fucking shit. I mean who on earth would think this was real in anyway? I mean apart from talking like a 13 year old moron or added to the fact its more like hes trying to talk like one of us (a sad and transparant attempet). Also stupid to comferm our fears of being hardly no Starscrem in this movie and almost 80 to 90% focusing on human crap. I Also want to add that next time you (moronic studio people) try this shit, please keep in mind unlike you were not moronic kiss ass and we can form our own opinions. Jesus fuck me christ i really hate shit like this..."Not a plant"...yea right thats like Harry saying he isnt fat or lazy
All these talkbacks have already beeen written by EdRyder	Apr 27th, 2007 01:35:41 PM
No matter how positive or negative the reviews will be.Overall it was an interesting review from a confessed Bayfan.But all we will ever hear is the same ol shit from both sides.Even after they see this fucker the haters will say shit like"Sure the robots punching each other were cool ,but flames and lips are dumb."And the Pro Transformer crowd will say equally stupid shit like"Told you so!",..and "Bay pwns!" So what the fucks the point by now?Why even discuss it?BTW-The most telling detail in this entire debacle has always been the shared want on both sides of the "Franchise".Lets me always know whos a filmgoer and whos a fanboy.One good or bad movie isnt enough,theres got to be three of these fuckers...Its just stupid
flame haters drive japanese cars by JRKerr	Apr 27th, 2007 01:35:43 PM
I'm 34 and I have a powerglide open on the table in my garage to put back in my 69 Chevelle. I think flames are cool. Anyone who doesn't like flames is a fucking nerd with an imac, ipod, and a new rice burner every 5 years (which puts more carbon dioxide in the atmosphere for blast furnace steel than my chevelle ever has with fresh points and plugs every year). Seriously... anyone who wants to fight a bald 6'5" texas mechanic over whether or not flames are cool can find me pretty easy. Anytime.
Every clip of the robots in the trailer = by Kurzinski Valentine	Apr 27th, 2007 01:36:04 PM
Indistiguishable mass of thousands upon thousands of piecs of jagged metal shards and crumpled lumps of metal with no discernable shape or iconic silhouette. This is what the fans want. They want to know WHICH CHARACTER IS WHICH. They all look the fucking same. No one wants to just see "robots smashing shit". They want to see TRANSFORMERS smashing shit. I haven't seen a Transformer yet...just mangled lumps of twisted steel where I can't even tell if it has a face or not. In closing, the lips don't bother me in the least. Not at all. In fact, I think they're neat-o.
all I know is... by filmicdrummer17	Apr 27th, 2007 01:36:10 PM
I looked over, and I saw Kurt Russell laughing at these two 15-year-old fat kids doing a chest bump, and that's when I realized it was a good movie.
You don't know how to write a review? by CyberVishnu	Apr 27th, 2007 01:36:19 PM
Really? Nooooo! I never would have guessed after sifting through such a piece of finely constructive prose. In other words, you fucktard plant. Please don't write anymore reviews of ass kickery. I'll wait on Moriarty and Quint's thoughts.
Between this "Review"... by Luvs269er	Apr 27th, 2007 01:36:31 PM
... and the "reviews" for Shoot 'Em Up (directly below on the AICN main page)-- one producer has gotta be bitching about all that typing causing his carpal tunnel to flare up again.
I'll take... by allyousay	Apr 27th, 2007 01:37:07 PM
...Plant for 100, Alex.
god bless you Michael Bay and im 33 by Mr_X	Apr 27th, 2007 01:38:35 PM
and i'll say flames are cool with an added "motherfuckers" and "biatches" on top. Read the first bit and the last bit, wanna see the whole movie fairly spoiler free. Sweet. And fuck all yo haters. // normally i'm quite a productive member of society
JRKerr by Kurzinski Valentine	Apr 27th, 2007 01:38:36 PM
I drive a Lotus Elise, not a rice burner. A true driver's car. And flames on cars are fucking cheesy and gay as all hell. I'm already ashamed Jazz is a weakass Solstice.
First time screeners generally love EVERYTHING- by Jugdish	Apr 27th, 2007 01:39:33 PM
Trust me - I loved Pearl Harbor when they screened it in February in Denver...I had a boner the whole time cause I saw it 3 months early & I sat right in front of Bay and Brukheimer- Even gave Harry a good review...
does he shave lightning bolts into his hair? by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 01:39:43 PM
that's what 28 year olds do
Did the fat kids... by TheSultanOfErato	Apr 27th, 2007 01:39:52 PM
...look like Meatloaf's character Bob Paulson in Fight Club?
For the love of God. by Galva	Apr 27th, 2007 01:40:04 PM
If Michael Bay were an auteur of some kind, I'd have no problem with him comming in and making changes. As it is, Pearl Harbor and The Island are Bay's most personal films, and while the action and explosions will be nice, that doesn't mean a damn thing when the story is shit and the designs are fucked up.
Remeber Super Sugar Crisp back in the 70s by Fecal Debris	Apr 27th, 2007 01:40:27 PM
when you'd get those little terrariums in the cereal box, and you'd wet the sponge, and put it on the window sill, and a week later you'd get...what was it? Oh yeah, a plant
If he's a plant, he's a pretty good one. by Novaman5000	Apr 27th, 2007 01:40:56 PM
Sounds legit to me, but there's no pleasing some of you. If I were to submit a review, I'd leave a space at the bottom and then just spoil the fuck out of it, because it seems like unless a reviewer does that you all scream he's a fake... Then when he spoils it you scream about not wanting spoilers.
TINO TINO TINO! TINO MANIA! by thebearovingian	Apr 27th, 2007 01:41:34 PM
Come one, come all, and Damn Michael Bay!
By the Power of Grayskull! by sevenrivera	Apr 27th, 2007 01:42:01 PM
That review was an absolute disaster. First of all, I'm not even sure he saw the movie. He describes in detail some of the scenes from the trailers and then only vaguely smatters in bits from the script. And as someone else noted, he practically tracks the talkbacks in his comments. And even assuming he did see it, based upon the quality of this review, then he must have seen it as part of a charity screening for autistic kids (which coincidentally is Michael Bay's target demographic). This guy reads like a Corky Thatcher book report. This movie is going to suck so badly my insides are sad just thinking about it. Fuck you Michael Bay, fuck you in your ear. By the way, note that even this r-tard thought that parts are being played for cheesy laughs. Is that what you want in your transformers? Bumblebee the Love Bug and the cheesy Small Wonder/Full House type family interactions? Good lord this is gonna suck. I hate you Michael Bay with all of my soul.
I'm just busting his balls by Fecal Debris	Apr 27th, 2007 01:44:13 PM
I mean, his pistil and stamen. I'm sure he's legit.
Novaman's a plant by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 01:45:25 PM
a lily of the valley to be exact
Where's Uncle Jay's review? by MaxHunter73	Apr 27th, 2007 01:47:01 PM
Curious about how he feels about Michael Bay...
Where's Uncle Jay's review? by MaxHunter73	Apr 27th, 2007 01:47:03 PM
Curious about how he feels about Michael Bay...
Anyone who likes flames is by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 01:47:24 PM
an inbred redneck with a predilication for rubbing alcohol and incest. wow. Violence and being rude on the anonymous internet- we can all do it and it doesn't make you a fucking hero.
Now I will see this movie... by Dollar Bird	Apr 27th, 2007 01:50:01 PM
...for the chest-bumping fat kids. If that happens before every showing, it's comedic genius beyond any "intentional" Bumblebee-can't-talk laffs. Man, a "glimpse" of Starscream and Megatron's relationship IS NOT ENOUGH! I demand snide comments and Cybertronian bon mots! I doubt this guy is a plant, but I have no doubts he can't write and has no love for quality.
By the way JRkerr by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 01:50:29 PM
what's wrong with an ipod?
PLANTFORMERS 2: Plant Harder by satman83	Apr 27th, 2007 01:50:36 PM
Novaman5000 are you fucking kidding me? "Sounds legit to me, but there's no pleasing some of you. If I were to submit a review, I'd leave a space at the bottom and then just spoil the fuck out of it, because it seems like unless a reviewer does that you all scream he's a fake... Then when he spoils it you scream about not wanting spoilers." my god your a fucktard...maybe if it wasnt as clear as day how badly planted this was, i mean for christ sakes hes talking so much shit it hurts, funny how he only mentioned things in the trailer isnt it? or how the things we all hated are now magically better
HAS THIS PLACE EXPLODED YET? by THE KNIGHT	Apr 27th, 2007 01:50:55 PM
Damn Michael Bay?
Optimus Primoplantae. by Rufus_T_Firefly	Apr 27th, 2007 01:51:00 PM
And I thought that 100-level biology class I took would get no practical use during my lifetime...
where are the other reviews from the screening? by RighteousBrother	Apr 27th, 2007 01:53:00 PM
Huh?
Optimus Prime's flaming nipple lips... by SkiBum	Apr 27th, 2007 01:53:35 PM
...raped my childhood in the ass!! Get over yourselves. This movie is going to be a blast. Can't wait.
Bernie Mac is hillarious!!!!!!!!! by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 01:53:36 PM
WEEEEEEEEEEEEE he then turns into a blender and does his taxes on president bush's ass crack!!!! YAYAYAYAYAYAAYAYAY
U TALKBACKRS DO NOT DESERVE BAYS PISS! by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 01:54:20 PM
U HATERS dont desrve even to be pissed on by BAY! Hes oviusly made GRATE MOVIE and still U WHINE!
Thank God he made Grate movies by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 01:55:19 PM
I haven't seen enough done about storm drains
It's funny that studios think we talk like that by zacdilone	Apr 27th, 2007 01:55:20 PM
No self-respecting geek would use the phrase "go all Michael Bay on his ass." Not even the most strident Bay supporter among us.
Why this sounds like a PLANT by LilJimmyNorton	Apr 27th, 2007 01:55:21 PM
I'm not one who normally posts on here other than an occasional line or two but after reading this review I again feel the need to post my 2 cents. First let me say that the only reason I am still going to see this movie is because of Cullen. That alone is the only nostalgia factor I need. It would have been better to get welker as well but 1 out of 2... I work with alot of copywriters, and this just smacks of someone who is trying to relate to the fanboy. This person addresses every single complaint I have seen on these boards (lips on OP, flames on OP, human vs robot story, transforming robot sound,etc) and spins a positive on all of them. Come on, if you really like all of the changes more power to you but it's a little unbelievable coming from someone who said they liked the original source material and is 28 and grew up with it (I am 29 and am so unexcited about this movie). Then this person reviews only the first 1/3 of the movie, whetting our whistles with spoilers galore and then suddenly deciding not to post anymore spoilers? Seriously??? There is even a place where thye sum it all up. That's like one of the first rules of writing something like this; always write the most important thing last because generalyl that's what most people remember: the last thing they've read. There are many more glaring examples of this but I really don't feel the need to point them out so I'll end with this: If you are that dead set against it, PLEASE DO NOT GO SEE IT. After reading all the bad press and story synopsis of X3 last year, I didn't go see it, I still havent seen it, and I will never end up seeing it. It's that simple to teach HWood a lesson, stop bitching and take action, just boycott the fucker. And TINO! TINO! TINO! (I dont know what it means but it makes me laugh).
I'll say it... FAKE! by nonsensical	Apr 27th, 2007 01:56:47 PM
Is there anyway we can get a confirmation that this "test screening" was actually held? Honestly, this guys "review" didn't bring any new information abou this film or what happens in it than what we have already seen in trailers and clips, or through interviews and the like from Bay, LeBouf, and others in this film. This "review" doesn't make me want to see this film anymore than I already don't and infact it just confirms that this is utter crap. Every single detail this guy "gave" to us is something that has already appeared in trailers or clips. It reads like a review of everything we have seen or heard so far and I can't tell you how this can even qualify as a review. It's not. This really is not a review of the film. Also, I know people are complaining about the cloud galactus. I get that... but, think about how much time is left before that film comes out. How easy would it be for Tim Story or Avi Arad to look at the negative feedback of people here and say to themselves, "Galactus as a cloud might hurt box office. We should change that." Give it a week for character design, and modeling, another week for rigging, and then about three weeks for animation for the minute or so Galactus "appears" in the film and so long as renders started a week after animation began they would be done with plenty of time to make the release date. Even if the novel says cloud, it might be altered given the poor response. I say might, because if there is one thing I've learned while working in this business it's that no one in the industry has the balls to actually fix an issue that could adversly affect a film. I think this is mostly because the reaction is like your girlfriend's reaction when you ask her to take it in the butt. She (people) get pissed that you would even suggest that they accept this proposition, but then a few days later when you ask again she sighs and tells you to use plenty of lube as she takes off her clothes. I wish people would be strong enough to stand by their first, "fuck no that won't fly" ideals. If we did that then maybe the film industry would start listening. However, back to this review it feels fake.
Bay speaks on the Test Screening by Mr. Nice Gaius	Apr 27th, 2007 01:58:09 PM
http://tinyurl.com/2dpvjz
Look, bottom line is plant or not by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Apr 27th, 2007 01:59:05 PM
You all know we're going to shell out money to see this. I grew up with Transformers, and you know anything beyond the first generation sucks. BeastWars, et al is a bunch of crap. It has Peter Cullen, it has Agent Smith, an acceptable substitute, we are going to see this.
Reviewer didn't see it... Bay and Co confirmed no lips by the_pissboy1	Apr 27th, 2007 01:59:13 PM
Bay and Co said the lips on Prime was a test thing and not for consumption. This boob never saw the movie. http://www.autoblog.com/2007/0 4/26/phew-optimus-prime-does-n ot-have-lips/
Well, he's openly Bay by Fabulous Freak	Apr 27th, 2007 02:00:05 PM
Damn flamboyant bay men, and their goddam nipple infatuations.
Christ, don't you people read the news? by the_pissboy1	Apr 27th, 2007 02:00:17 PM
http://news.google.com/news?q= prime%20lips&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8 &aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:of ficial&client=firefox-a&um=1&s a=N&tab=wn
Awesome review due to one line... by McBane	Apr 27th, 2007 02:00:17 PM
I saw two 15ish year old fat kids do a chest bump…alas, I had no one to chest bump- but I totally would have! Schweeeeeeeeet!! New AICN catchphrase anyone?
other funny plant moments: by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:00:20 PM
1) pretending to be one of us and not a studio shill: "Being a movie geek, and a broke one, I was like "fuck yeah, free movie" 2)deliberate mangling of english- note the misspelling of Role, the missed apostrophe,and the atrocious grammar: "this plays a key roll in the film but I wont ruin it with detail spoilers". 3)pathetic attempt to establish TB history: "FIRST, BITCHES! (never been able to say that before :)" WTF?: "I consider myself a mid-core TF fan" basically I can do this for ages- STUDIOS you get a D- for this review: MUST TRY HARDER
I am not sure by lionbiu	Apr 27th, 2007 02:01:23 PM
...I actually don't think it's a plant. I just think its a very ecited fan who could not get their thoughts together to write a coherent review. I don't have high hopes for the movie, but it sounds like it will do everything its supposed to.
I'm gonna laugh... by filmicdrummer17	Apr 27th, 2007 02:02:39 PM
when this turns out somehow to be a real review. You guys wouldn't have bought ANYTHING. You'd call Quint's review a plant if it didn't have his name on it.
i didn't have a dick to suck, but if i did I totally by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:02:46 PM
would have!!!!!
oh bullshit by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:04:42 PM
this review has every plant cliche ever attempted. If it does turn out to be real then he is a complete cretin, but seriously though. I doubt it very much. just look through the review, there is plant tag after plant tag, almost one a line.
Most of you geeks by A Day of Days	Apr 27th, 2007 02:05:06 PM
Make me ashamed to be a geek. PLANT! my ass. If someone says something positive about a film, its a plant...if they say something negative, its a plant because they're trying to trick us. Get a fucking life. And Lost Prophet, I'm going after you because you're the most recent post as I'm writing this...many people confuse the two words "role" and "roll"...the guy may be a little lacking in the vocabulary department, but it doesn't make him a plant. You fucking kids on here just like to think you know something about anything.
Fecal Debris, you've gotta be about 42 to 45 years old- by LaneMyersClassic	Apr 27th, 2007 02:05:35 PM
Am I right?
filmicdrummer17, That's why I asked... by nonsensical	Apr 27th, 2007 02:05:56 PM
if we could get a confirmation.
A Day, the guy said Bernie Mac was hillarious by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:06:37 PM
there is no way that can be real
MICHAEL BAY FUCKING LOST. by JusticeSabre	Apr 27th, 2007 02:07:46 PM
Cease the lies, people...
die hard is pg13? by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 02:08:09 PM
please tell this guy doesnt know what he's talking about because if Die Hard isn't rated R that's insane.
"she sighs and tells you to use plenty of by trafficguy2000	Apr 27th, 2007 02:08:12 PM
lube as she takes off her clothes" Funniest fucking thing I've read all day!!! Godspeed good sir!
Damn you Micheal Bay!!! by Gus Van Rant	Apr 27th, 2007 02:08:47 PM
Flames on Optimus = Flames on Optimus...shit in, shit out.
Why do 90% of celebrities have such poor grammar? by Kurzinski Valentine	Apr 27th, 2007 02:08:53 PM
Bay: "We had two screenings tonight 850 people. Highest test scores in my career. Blew Armageddon away which was a 92. Go figure." durrrr.
Again, days- bullshit by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:09:36 PM
if it was just the misspelling of role then fine- it's an easy mistake to make, and fuck proofreading. But look at the rest of that sentence, and that is only one line. The whole review is written in this way. The point is that they think as we post on-line we are utterly incapable of writing, and have nothing more than a binary vocabulary. The mangled English is a sign of a true plant. If he is not a plant, then he is 12.
I wish the bitching was in disguise... by SavageDragoner	Apr 27th, 2007 02:10:31 PM
Okay, yes the review was awful, I won't speculate on whether he was a plant or not (although Jesus, you guy are paranoid sometimes) or even the downward spiral of Michael Bay. But c'mon guys, this is TRANS-FUCKIN-FORMERS we're talking about. This movie is going to rock your lame asses so hard you'll think you've just been annally raped by a guitar. Oh and BGDawes, if you happen to read this, I bet I can read your mind...
Did Armageddon really get the highest test score of by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:11:16 PM
his career. Fucking hell. That is sad.
Are you kidding, Prophet? by A Day of Days	Apr 27th, 2007 02:14:57 PM
I've seen many talkbackers type like (insert retarded kid from pop culture). My point is that you plant-criers are right alot of the time, but then you just get on a high horse and call it whenever someone somewhat positively reviews a flick you already decided will be crap. Truth is, you make an ass of yourself calling plant when you can't ever be sure. Of course I guess thats why the internet is anonymous...
5,000 posts attainable? by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:15:43 PM
like moths to the flame...
I looked over by skimn	Apr 27th, 2007 02:17:03 PM
and saw Kurt Russell had no one to chest bump, so its not a good thing.
@ Mr. Nice Gaius by UltraMeerkat	Apr 27th, 2007 02:18:11 PM
The forum the URL you posted is bloody awful. You can't move for massive, bandwidth consuming animation loops, teenagers and ass-kissery. Seeing stuff like that really makes a person appreciate the miminalist design of this forum.
Very very much a Plant--but still... by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:18:22 PM
...It IS a _Bay film about BFB's blowing up OTHER BFB's. Really that's about all you can say or do about it. I personally hope that this does work and that it's a great time had by all. Or-Not. Just how much SS puts into it-who's to say? Anyways. You will gets what you pays for. Is there a cameo of Ben Stiller being stepped on?
HUGE FUCKING PLANT!!! by Leafy McPlantsalot	Apr 27th, 2007 02:19:12 PM
Sorry, maybe this movie will rock but this plant shit is really obvious. The writing sounds like the VP of marketing trying to sound young. FIRST BITCHESS!!!! Referenced way too many things that only this sight has brought up as problems. As if to directly tell us that everything we worried about will be fine. Whatever, i hope it rocks, but this is a plant.
Flames on Optimus = Lips on Optimus by Gus Van Rant	Apr 27th, 2007 02:19:13 PM
I think my head is going to explode....Fuck you Micheal Bay.
Just Pillow, 5000 posts about Kathy Bates Hot Tub by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:19:23 PM
LET US DO IT!!!!!!!
A Day of Days is a plant! by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:19:57 PM
amen messi!
It isn't just the English by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:20:13 PM
although that doesn't help his cause. It reminds me of the MutantCamel X3 review from last year- which actually got pulled by Mori- he names every single thing that people have been bitching about, and then either dismisses it, calls it pathetic whining, attempts some sort of hip joke about it, or attempts to turn it into a positive. This is a plant. In fact "The boxy designs from the cartoons simply would not have worked, they would have looked stupid and old." Is almost straight off www.suckmurphysfatnob.com. Also, the stylistic problems are inconsistent- if you have no clue how to write you do not suddenly produce perfect English and then produce crap again. RINO- reviewer in name only
Grammaton Cleric Binks... by Galva	Apr 27th, 2007 02:20:27 PM
... yeah, I am going to shell out money to see this. I will pay my 9 bucks for a ticket to Live Free or Die Hard, and then I will go see this, mostly so I can complain about it more accurately. I refuse to download movies illegally, but at the same time I refuse to pay for Mike and Steve to fuck my favorite characters up beyond all recognition with the excuse being "it needs to be more realistic." Really. Oh reeeally. Realistic like 300 you mean? Like Sin City? Like the Star Wars series, prequels and all? Like Fast and the Furious? Like the three bajillion other big blockbuster movies that come out every year with exactly realistic physics and guns that run out of bullets and heros that look like a young Ernest Borgnine? Bumblebee is a damn robot, what reason could possibly exist that his voice box couldn't be fixed and he's got to rely on a satellite radio advertising gimmick to talk!? Pile on to that the fact that the robots are able to magically heal themselves in the script. Show me one design in the whole movie that could even slightly work in the real world. Seriously, the movie is about GIANT ROBOTS FIGHTING A GALACTIC CIVIL WAR. There is not one damn thing realistic about this and the attempts to do so in the script are preposterous.
Cardsfan by skimn	Apr 27th, 2007 02:21:16 PM
is just Bay-curious, and doesn't understand the confusion.
and the impact of giving her a sponge bath.. by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:21:38 PM
will it do permanent damage to the human mind?
ha! wheres finky by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:22:03 PM
TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO TINO.
if he would have mentioned how funny Shia's Taint by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:23:31 PM
was then maybe i would have believed him
ok Porphet by A Day of Days	Apr 27th, 2007 02:23:51 PM
After a second reading, I see you point. I never said it wasn't a plant...I was on the fence, now I'ma little on your side. But still, I think I'm going to write a review about this movie that does nothing but bash it, then see how many people cry plant. A little nerd social experiment, if you will.
PLEASE LOSE THE LIPS by The Dude Abides	Apr 27th, 2007 02:23:59 PM
Come on, Bay, there's still time. Besides, it looks retarded. And why do robots need lips?
My favorite parts of this plant's review... by Lucasblows	Apr 27th, 2007 02:25:49 PM
...are the swipes at Fantastic Four (which will also suck) which is the biggest summer movie opening right before this, his convient misspelling of LaBeouf and inability to remember Megan Fox's character name.
Optimus' lips don't look right? Fuck's sake... by Stuntcock Mike	Apr 27th, 2007 02:25:52 PM
What about the snatch lips?
go for it- by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:28:19 PM
however, you have to include the tells or it isn't fair. I bet reviews will be split for this. Harry will gaze it it in a pile of drool with a goofy expression of wonderment on his face, Quint is lready determined to like it, as is Capone- see the interview with Shia where they criticise TB'ers. Vern- well, vern is vern. Mori will be the one to watch, as he has stated repeatedly that he is on the fence so far. Fan reviews will be "It sucked because", and "it rocked because", there will be no "It was OK type reviews", and all fan reviews will get PLANT screamed at them by the apologists and haters alike. I refuse to see this just for the dog pisses on giant robot bit, but like the arguments.
I think Shia wrote this review by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:28:35 PM
think about it, he reads the TB's, he's a tool........
shit proofreading blows by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:29:34 PM
I meant "gaze at it". Fuck's sake, maybe I am a plant.
nope, it's not Shia by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:30:21 PM
he's busy giving kathy bates a sponge bath right now...
just wrong guys by Lost Prophet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:31:20 PM
Leave that nasty Kathy Bates shit alone. what's wrong with you?
He'll need at least 7 sponges by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:31:42 PM
and some steel wool
blindfold, ear plugs... by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:32:34 PM
and lots of prayers to God..
THIS YEAR'S LITTLE MISS PEARL HARBOR!!! by Err	Apr 27th, 2007 02:33:08 PM
God help us all.
stopped reading at "Flatulence Four" by chaffg	Apr 27th, 2007 02:33:18 PM
Cardsfan34 never post here again
poeticwarrior II by SavageDragoner	Apr 27th, 2007 02:33:21 PM
Just speaking the truth my man, just speaking the truth...
gives new meaning to his movie Holes by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:33:45 PM
yummy
Wait, are you guys bitching about Prime's lips or by Kurzinski Valentine	Apr 27th, 2007 02:33:50 PM
ALL robot lips? Because as far as I know, like 90% of the characters in G1 had lips. So uh...yeah.
After reading that "review," I hope that kid is a plant by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 02:34:15 PM
Otherwise, the kid is an absolute disgrace to our gene pool. "Michael Bay style" indeed. This kid reads like some socially retarded adolescent whose entire vocabulary seems to consist of "kewl," "sick," "Bay-style," and south park quotes accompanied by chest-slamming. Again, with people like this dumbass in Bay's corner, is it any more obvious as to why most of us have had problems with this film? This caffeinated, bong-smoking, 12-year-old mental giant is the POSTERBOY of Bay's core audience. Unfortunately, it also seems to be the target audience of this "franchise in the making" and not the real fans. Do you guys understand why we're pissed, now?
After reading that "review," I hope that kid is a plant by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 02:34:20 PM
Otherwise, the kid is an absolute disgrace to our gene pool. "Michael Bay style" indeed. This kid reads like some socially retarded adolescent whose entire vocabulary seems to consist of "kewl," "sick," "Bay-style," and south park quotes accompanied by chest-slamming. Again, with people like this dumbass in Bay's corner, is it any more obvious as to why most of us have had problems with this film? This caffeinated, bong-smoking, 12-year-old mental giant is the POSTERBOY of Bay's core audience. Unfortunately, it also seems to be the target audience of this "franchise in the making" and not the real fans. Do you guys understand why we're pissed, now?
Mr Clean by skimn	Apr 27th, 2007 02:35:00 PM
Magic sponge to get between the creases.
FIRST THING THAT MADE ME THINK HE'S A PLANT: by Kirbymanly	Apr 27th, 2007 02:36:06 PM
He used Shia LaBouf's character's FULL NAME.
and disturbia... by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:36:42 PM
that's gonna leave a mark... C'mon LP, nasty Kathy Bates is like Salma Hayek...except nasty.
Besides, this idiot VOLUNTARILY went to Blades of Glory by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 02:37:14 PM
That alone tells you what kind of movie Transformers is. Any movie that appeals to that crowd is not something you want to subject to yourself.
Original Transformers was shit by Wyrdy the Gerbil	Apr 27th, 2007 02:37:21 PM
I hope the film is nothing like the series because it was a childish crappy shit cartoon that thankfully disappeared off TV...the film at least "seems " to aiming for a harder gritty more adult look. also frankly ive never really understood way so many pathetc wankers seem to hate nearly every film Bay is involved with,The Rock,Armeggedon were great fun fuckung films to watch dipshits..so live with it..(or not i dont care)
Salma doesn't deserve to lick the corn out of Kathy's by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:38:53 PM
stool. I mean, she's like the Land O Lakes of beauty
The plants don't care if you out them. by I Dunno	Apr 27th, 2007 02:39:15 PM
The percentage of people who are wise to the whole plant thing is very small.
Translation to Plant by Lucasblows	Apr 27th, 2007 02:41:12 PM
Bay style means it's shit. Loud, noisy, messy diarrea-like shit.
fuckung fu films for dipshits: by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:41:18 PM
gymkata and the octagon. enjoy!
Wyrdy by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 02:41:35 PM
Armeggedon was a movie made for morons who label movies like Lawrence of Arabia, Gone with the Wind, and Citizen Kane as "Artsy-Fartsy." In fact, anyone who uses that term is a moron.
God, I hate this reviewer. by Blarney-Man	Apr 27th, 2007 02:41:39 PM
What an obnoxious ass. Do everyone that send in reviews to this site have the IQ of a monkey? Fucking hell, I feel dumb just reading his "review".
I agree, Blarney by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 02:43:16 PM
The very fact that an obnoxious little cretin enjoys this film makes most of us want to run for the hills.
kathy can lick the corn out of her own stool by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:43:56 PM
thank you very much! Salma is a goddess, no ifs ands or buts about it. Kathy is a loch ness (monster).
Noted_Cineaste Auteur_Bay and his BFB movie. by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:44:01 PM
You will wanna watch the BFB movie just like I will. Set Brain on stun. Forget the fact it was a toy toon/ad thingie from 20 years back. Watch things go BOOOOM! and then forget movie 4.2 minutes after leaving theatre. That's about it.
WORD TO WYRDY... TRANSOFORMERS CARTOON SUCKS!!! by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 02:45:38 PM
winey GEEWUNNERS with rose colrd GLASSES! it was nuthin but TOY COMMRCIAL!! 1984 is OVER!! go sit on YUR 1984 PRIME DOLL!!! menwhile BAY will stuf his TALENTD ASS with AMERCAS MONEY!!! http://bayformers.blogspot.com /
yeah I feel bad about the Salma thing by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:45:58 PM
she is amazing. and yet Kathy bates has that certain pudding like quality
Anyone else agree with me on this issue? by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 02:46:10 PM
A thumbs up from this reviewer is a thumbs down from anyone with a higher IQ than that of most sponges. Lets see, he came out of Blades of Glory, and went into Transformers (which was "sick"). What's next on his itinerary, Shreck the Third?
McBane FKCB by Stuntcock Mike	Apr 27th, 2007 02:46:49 PM
It's a keeper me thinks.
i was going to say jello like quality... by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:48:12 PM
since everything jiggles around when she moves..plus cosby hits that hard like there's no tomorrow.
I wish Total Fucking Destruction was here by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:48:31 PM
so he could tell me that I was going down a road to Total Fucking Destruction
Oh you know Cosby is all up in dem guts by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:49:20 PM
That's a Picture Page I'd hate to see
Garthimus. by Lucasblows	Apr 27th, 2007 02:49:21 PM
Nice spelling.
ya know Kloipy, I was thinking just the same thing.. by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:49:51 PM
Where art thou o TFD?
ANIMAL! by Kid Z	Apr 27th, 2007 02:49:55 PM
... Oh... uh... fuhgeddit! Too bad Corman's not doing regular work anymore. I was really hoping for an ultra-low-budget "GoBots" feature designed to cash in on the Transformers hoopla...
You know how to fix this mess... by billy_club	Apr 27th, 2007 02:50:03 PM
I think they need to add Jar Jar Binks to this movie.
Day of the Triffids! by HarryBlackPotter	Apr 27th, 2007 02:50:22 PM
Damn, those Plants are deadly!
Somebodies been eating too many sweets.... by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies	Apr 27th, 2007 02:50:44 PM
Please lets leave Harry as the only hyperactive man-child to post reviews on AICN.
You do realize that Kathy Bates=Rosie O'Donnell? by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:51:26 PM
And those two=Pre-stomach Stapling Carney Wilson?? Rutabega/studabacher Sis-BOOMBAH! LOOK OUT--it's the ROSIE O'DONNELL BOT!! IT'S TRANSFORMING INTO A FISH FACTORY AND IT'S HEADING THIS WAY!!! 'Oh lovely I just LOVE cod--'
moondoggy by skimn	Apr 27th, 2007 02:51:30 PM
Hey, Armeggedon was hokum, but it was entertaining hokum. At least it was the better of the two "approaching meteor" movies that year. Which, yes, isn't saying a whole helleva lot.
temporary blindness would follow by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:51:41 PM
then a pain beyond your imagination, at least that's what happens to bill.
Pure Sex by Boomers_Lips	Apr 27th, 2007 02:52:17 PM
sounds like Transformers to me!
What a terd by Rat Fink	Apr 27th, 2007 02:53:00 PM
This review is such a piece of shit it makes my head hurt. Regardless I still can't wait for this movie
Wow, not only do we get a review by Snookeroo	Apr 27th, 2007 02:53:50 PM
but roughage, too.
no, it's been scientifically proven by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:54:01 PM
that kathy bates, while a hideous disgusting jello like substance is human-like, rosie o'donnell is not. My theory is that she's a bantha.
I think Cthulhu, but she could be a mix by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:55:56 PM
like the speculations fly
undeniable proof it's a plant by BadMrWonka	Apr 27th, 2007 02:55:59 PM
he's not here gloating/defending/rambling about his review...you KNOW if you gto the first review up for Transformers, you would be here answering questions and sopping up what you percieved to be "glory" (actually nerd spooge). dude's not here. plant.
Cyclonus and The Sweeps should be in the sequel! by Boomers_Lips	Apr 27th, 2007 02:57:20 PM
along with Terrorsaur, Rhinox, Sixshot, and Arcee.
Transformers, eh. Where's the STAR BLAZERS movie? by Abin Sur	Apr 27th, 2007 02:57:36 PM
How could that NOT kick the world's ass?!?
I thought Rosie was of the Bactrian species. by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 02:57:48 PM
"Allahu ACKBAR---bring her back and tie her up to Bernard McGuirk! That'll learn-Both of 'em. Anyways--Armageddon was great. William Fichtner=Captain America. You know it's true.
Well I need to return to the belly of the beast by Kloipy	Apr 27th, 2007 02:58:17 PM
Peace out
good luck trying to capture this mythical creature by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 02:58:32 PM
called "Rosie O'Donnell". Others have tried, and failed...some never to return. As you said before kloipy, she ate her own hand. What chance do we, as a human race, have?
actually by lionbiu	Apr 27th, 2007 02:58:34 PM
re-reading this either it's a plant or the biggest retarded 28 year old on the face of the Earht. It really does read like a 12 year old on speed who has just seen a clitoris for the first time.
Mr Plant.................... by Stuntcock Mike	Apr 27th, 2007 02:59:25 PM
sheesh, did the fucking gobots have lips too?
Will power of a Green Lantern by a rolling stone	Apr 27th, 2007 02:59:56 PM
None of us have power rings (real ones, I mean) so it's safe to say we don't have the willpower to boycott this movie anymore than we have the willpower to stop talking about the plant's transparent review. Hollywood is much like Big Tobacco here. They know we're addicts, so they don't care if the product they sell us is faulty. But quit? I can't! Daddy needs his candy.
later Kloipy by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 03:00:05 PM
say 'hi' to Kathy for me! :-)
Skimn by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 03:00:08 PM
I suppose that depends on what you define entertaining, doesnt it? When I go to movies, I'm entertained by an interesting plot, good acting, and a competant script. Hell, as long as a movie has two of my three requirements, I'll be just fine. But I cant sit through a film that has none of the requirements, ala Armegeddon. True, I have a tolerance for bad sci-fi films, but only when they are actually attempting to be thought provoking or humorous, in which case I will give them an 'A' for effort. Armageddon, however, was just so all over the board with no semblence of consistancy, realism, acting, dialogue, or even plot. Hey, I gave "The Island" a pass because it was an attempt at being thought provoking. True, it descended into Bayism at the very end, but it was still a pretty decent movie. I walked out of Armageddon.
Leafy green foliage by Jimmy2Times	Apr 27th, 2007 03:03:13 PM
But who gives a shit? This is a Transformers movie, anyone of you fanboy nuggets who make out you wont be first in line at the multiplex....pleeeeeeeese, kiss my white limey ass, this summer is gonna own all our asses.
Speak for yourself, rolling stone... by Abin Sur	Apr 27th, 2007 03:04:30 PM
I got your power ring RIGHT HERE! ;)
"15 year old man-boobs slapping together" by Snookeroo	Apr 27th, 2007 03:04:55 PM
thanks for that mental image. Now I have to rinse my cranium with kerosene and set fire to it. And anyone that tries THAT hard to defend Shia LaBouf's appearance in this movie HAS to be a plant.
Definitely a plant by PwnedByStallone	Apr 27th, 2007 03:06:22 PM
It just reeks of a suit trying just a little too hard.
This assclown isn't worthy of the PLANT title! by S-Mart shopper	Apr 27th, 2007 03:06:53 PM
I smell donny 2chins!
Postive Review=Plant, Negative Review= by Datascream	Apr 27th, 2007 03:07:29 PM
Balls to the wall authentic. Jesus christ people. btw...all the douchebags still crying over the stupid fuckin lips need to catch up on their reading. Bay has openly stated OP will NOT have lips. look it up if you know how.
no, Spidey 3 will own my ass (or make me cheadle in my by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 03:07:51 PM
pants),not this Jimmy2times.
This kid... by Rat Fink	Apr 27th, 2007 03:09:28 PM
needs to stick to swallowing hot dogs whole or whatever else he's good at but stay away from reviews. Next time he should have his mom proof read his shit before he smears it
Grayle by emeraldboy	Apr 27th, 2007 03:09:55 PM
I was referring to the people who are saying the movie will suck, they say this on the basis that a)its a Micheal Bay and )b the script sucks. I havent seen the film yet becuase its not out yet, so I havent seen the finished article, I so if i say something will suck and havent seen it yet. it makes no sense.
GO LAKERS by wcoop893	Apr 27th, 2007 03:10:08 PM
suns are the gayest
sounds good though, pretty much what i expected by wcoop893	Apr 27th, 2007 03:10:36 PM
only time will tell.
Datascream by Rat Fink	Apr 27th, 2007 03:11:07 PM
what the fuck are you talking about? Have you not seen the clip
"I honestly couldn't tell you everything that happened by S-Mart shopper	Apr 27th, 2007 03:11:22 PM
because it was just so damn awesome I had a hard time even keeping up" not only do I call BULLSHIT...I also call SHENANIGANS! this "review" is a hoax.
LOST SOUL by CVB784	Apr 27th, 2007 03:12:28 PM
Did you really question the studio's appraisal of your "binary" vocabulary?
AUTOBOTS, Transform... by sickboy_ukuk	Apr 27th, 2007 03:12:46 PM
and fuck off
did this guy basically just review old stuff? by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 03:16:23 PM
it seems like everything he mentioned is from set reports or convention clips or the internet clips. what about the rest of the movie?
pistons doing pistony things by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 03:17:03 PM
christ
pilates. by future help	Apr 27th, 2007 03:19:23 PM
paahhlant.
Transformers, or TransPLANTers? by MisterE	Apr 27th, 2007 03:20:33 PM
Is this about giant robots, or gardeners?
Definition of KICKASSERY by Rat Fink	Apr 27th, 2007 03:21:57 PM
Websters defines KICKASSERY as a word used by 13 year old boys who still piss the bed and jerk off to Mokey from Fraggle Rock while writing a shit fake review
where can I find by RokurGepta	Apr 27th, 2007 03:23:09 PM
the Italian version of the transformers movie poster? please thank you
michael bay is the man by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 03:23:12 PM
thats so awesome that michael bay is directing a movie about giant robots. i guess its based off some kids show about red trucks with blue pants. i dont know, hopefully it won't be as lame as that and he'll fix it up a little bit. transformations was a pretty weak cartoon.
Come on, Bay was born to make this movie by Jack Burton	Apr 27th, 2007 03:23:34 PM
The one thing Bay does well is destroy things and I have every belief that "The Transformers" is Bay's "Citizen Kane". I'll be surprised if it's good, but it will have spectacular visuals and that is really all I care about in a movie based on a toy.
don't forget Mr Nice Geyser there. by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 03:23:56 PM
He of the NON-plant-like structure and TV viewing habits.
You're right, you can't write a review... by Pdorwick	Apr 27th, 2007 03:25:19 PM
...but at least you're a Sun's fan; go Steve Nash!!
LilJimmyNorton by Badger999	Apr 27th, 2007 03:25:29 PM
...did you used to play SWG on Wanderhome?
bay does more than blow stuff up by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 03:25:39 PM
when he had bruce willis tell ben affleck that he always thought of him as a son and ben affleck was like "I love you" I was crying so hard. emotional stuff, man. emotional stuff.
Jack Burton by RokurGepta	Apr 27th, 2007 03:25:55 PM
I can't believe you just compared Transformers to Citizen Kane. please tell me what you're smoking, so I can make sure to stay away from it.
Ugh, and the plant is a Cardinals fan too? by Ricky Henderson	Apr 27th, 2007 03:27:23 PM
This prick is worthless in every possible way.
the rock was better than citizen kane by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 03:29:01 PM
citizen kane was so boring. at least the rock had a car chase.
BATMAN THE HORSE -- by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 03:30:00 PM
U have GOOD TASTE my frend!!! BAYS GOT THE TOUCH!!!! http://bayformers.blogspot.com /2007/04/bayformers-rocks-bay- has-touch.html
Did the PLANT also plant the paint on Schilling's sock? by Err	Apr 27th, 2007 03:30:32 PM
I bet he did.
kudos to AICN, way to start off the TB weekend by S-Mart shopper	Apr 27th, 2007 03:31:02 PM
ammo has been given to both sides of the TB/TF war! I fear however it's in favor of the haters! All you Bay fluffers can keep suckin it!
yeah this is gonna hit 1000 posts easy by Ricky Henderson	Apr 27th, 2007 03:32:23 PM
so says Rickey.
BAY FLUFFERS?? by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 03:32:49 PM
BAY is ALL MAN! BIG ACTION MOVIES!!!! he needs no fluffin!!!! BOOM! KAPOW!!!! MONY IN THE BANK!!!!
yeah batmanthehorse by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 03:33:07 PM
U ARE #1! CASABLANCA WAS BORING 2! CAR CHASES DEFINE THE CREAMY GOODNESS OF A MOVIE!
Everybody on this site will see Transformers by SoylentMean	Apr 27th, 2007 03:33:13 PM
How in the hell can anyone who even remotely claims allegiance to the Geek Guild (ie. Every Friggin' Talkbacker) possibly be serious about not seeing this movie? It's tailor made for genre fans, and sure some of it is bound to irritate and fall short of expectations but it most certainly is going to be entertaining. So stop fucking lying about refusing to see this unless you've got some kinda elitist bullshit mentality about the movies you see. If so George Carlin has a comedy routine involving golf he needs to tell you pronto.
Lips on Spiderman? by Stuntcock Mike	Apr 27th, 2007 03:34:08 PM
Done.
MICHAEL BAY CAN KILL NINJAS!!! by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 03:34:15 PM
with his TEETH!!! hes THAT awesome!!! BOOM!!! shot for the edit, BAY!
you do! by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 03:34:22 PM
When all hell's breakin' loose You'll be riding the eye of the storm
DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY-DESS AND STEVEN SPIELBERG-DESS!!!! by Err	Apr 27th, 2007 03:35:07 PM
Damn your opening in Asia.
Yo Rickey, how long before Pelphrey gets sent down? by just pillow talk	Apr 27th, 2007 03:36:08 PM
I was at the Braves game, and he was just awful. He's lost his control.
THE TRAILER MAKS ME SHIT MYSELF!!! by GARTHIMUS	Apr 27th, 2007 03:36:43 PM
THAT IS BAY DOIN WHAT BAY DOS BEST!!! MAKIN AUDIENCE SHIT THERE PANTS!!!! wont u SHIT YUR PANTS with me on 7.4.7??!!!?? U now U will!!!! BOOM!!!
Naw the Blood was real. Despite Curt being Curt. by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 03:37:17 PM
However, if you were wondering about whether or not Barry Bonds Bat has too much Pine Tar along the knob, barrel and dimpled end-we'll let Rob Neyer analyze THAT and git back to ya.
There is more in this world than you realize,Mr. Burton by Galva	Apr 27th, 2007 03:38:21 PM
Transformers has had hundreds upon hundreds of comic book issues spread over different companies and continuities, same cartoon wise. There are a wealth of stories from which one could mine a good movie script, hell, just retool the 3-part opener for G1 (More Than Meets the Eyes) and that would have been perfect.
Reality check to my G1 bretheren by Monty 16	Apr 27th, 2007 03:39:09 PM
I have been reading these tranformers talkbacks for a while with some disgust. I grew up with transformers..Optimus Prime was the first thing I drew and the first thing I made in 3d..as for the movie I had the soundtrack on cassete and wore it out..It was a serious part of my childhood, comics, TV, Toys I had them all. Alpha Trion,Key to vector Sigma, Buster, Spike, jetfire, skyfire, all of that stuff. It can't be the same thing in a real movie the attitude and designs of the characters had to change..were older now..I dont want to see people shooting at feet Gijoe style I want to see things get messed up.The TV show didn't have story or character development..it was a long commercial for toys. We loved it, it was awesome, but thats all it was.I was ecstatic when they chose Cullen for the voice. I did a lot previz for Transformers, as a fan boy ..huge thrill...but as a fan boy I will tell you....you will all eventually see it..no matter what you say now..you will see it because its that good. You have never seen action sequences like these on screen ..ever. No sense in changing your mind now I know, but relax sit back...give your angry little typing fingers a rest for 2 months and enjoy it when it comes out..
Curt Schilling is a by Rat Fink	Apr 27th, 2007 03:39:19 PM
Jesus Freak prick
Yeah dude, Pelfrey is worrying me by Ricky Henderson	Apr 27th, 2007 03:41:40 PM
I actually was at that Pelfrey game too on Friday night against the Braves (although I was too shitfaced to remember any of it) But if you want to talk about painful... I was at that Ollie Perez game where he walked in 4 runs. Fortuntely it seems like Perez is back in prime form once again. Pelfrey? Not so much. Maybe we'll be seeing Humber soon.
Michael Bay makes entertaining movies. Period. by riskebiz	Apr 27th, 2007 03:41:47 PM
No matter how much fanboys want to hate him, the fact is his movies are really watchable and just awesome bits of eye-candy. Give HIM the Superman sequel. That'll amp things up to 11 and get the people what they want!!!!!
Citizen Kane by skimn	Apr 27th, 2007 03:42:34 PM
wouldv'e been so much better with a high speed sled chase. GO ROSEBUD GO!!
What a tool ass review by Neil McCauleys Crew	Apr 27th, 2007 03:43:58 PM
anybody else from the AZ screening that can craft a more coherent review than this?
The motivation behind genre exploitation is to fleece by S-Mart shopper	Apr 27th, 2007 03:44:01 PM
the fans. It's not being done FOR the fans, it's being done to get their money. There is NO love behind the camera(except the love between Bay's nostrils and his eightball). Garthimus, you shouldn't be able to type with your lips wrapped around Bay's coke numbed member, cup the balls junior!
Hey, how long until Ganymede shows up? by Ricky Henderson	Apr 27th, 2007 03:44:30 PM
Seriously, its not a Transformers talkback until that plant Ganymede shows up to defend this garbage...
So it sounds exactly like that script. by superninja	Apr 27th, 2007 03:45:11 PM
Oh well, I'm sure Bay fans will love it.
THANKYOU MICHAEL BAY, MB HATERS... FUCK OFF by bongo123	Apr 27th, 2007 03:45:11 PM
hahahahahaha, you fucking lamos who have done nothing but rant and rant about this movie and michael bay can stay the fuck in your basements cause we just got a review from pretty much one of us, i.e. movie geek and he loved it!!!! fuck im sooo happy and so elated that all you wankers that done nothing but diss this movie constantly for months on end will soon be shown for exactly who you are, fucking bunch of losers who should now better.... roll on the summer
Bacci40 ignores the studio pleas about pirated video!! by SoylentMean	Apr 27th, 2007 03:46:51 PM
That is so illegal, I know my DVDs tell me so, so it must be true. But you admit you will see robots transform into something that is still a robot, even if it is via your computer screen. Maybe you'll unwittingly download some viral porn with the cool transformation sound effect from the cartoon. Could bring a whole new meaning to "More than meets the eye". Anyways, good luck with the sans legal piracy viewing.
You know, I just realized... by Roguewriter	Apr 27th, 2007 03:46:53 PM
... there really is a solid career in the movie industry as "TalkBack Plant Writer." No other way to explain this. Methinks I wanna look for that gig on Monster.com... I can set aside all logic, taste and integrity for $75k/yr. Of course, you probably have to blow Joel Silver or something, so I do see drawbacks...
Early Realise by satman83	Apr 27th, 2007 03:47:12 PM
Hey GARTHIMUS "THAT IS BAY DOIN WHAT BAY DOS BEST!!! MAKIN AUDIENCE SHIT THERE PANTS!!!! wont u SHIT YUR PANTS with me on 7.4.7??!!!?? U now U will!!!! BOOM!!!" wow i cant belive how right you are. every time i watch a bay film my body losses all blader control over the shitness...also i dont know that they aloud PC's in padded rooms
_Bay's take on Mary Poppins-PURE GENIUS!!!! by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 03:48:38 PM
Where's ABKING when ya need him-?? Sly as Mr Chimm Chimmeree hisself! The Biel as Mary, iron cheeks and all. Buscemi as the Tuppence chick. Why not-? IT's GENIUS I tellya! Flames on Dick Van Dyke=Stallone dancing on a Chimney top.
Michael Bay..... by RokurGepta	Apr 27th, 2007 03:48:39 PM
The Island (2005) I liked it, but it wasn't great, it seemed like a slightly better than mediocre rip off of logans run Bad Boys II (2003) I loved this movie!!! Pearl Harbor (2001) Super gay movie, I hated it Armageddon (1998/I) I really didn't like this movie at all The Rock (1996) The Rock is a rock solid movie full of awesomeness. I heart this movie Bad Boys (1995) Really Good movie, I liked it alot!!!!!
Wyrdy the Gerbil by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Apr 27th, 2007 03:48:44 PM
has spent too much time up Richard Gere.
Yeah they haven't deviated from the script at all by Ricky Henderson	Apr 27th, 2007 03:48:48 PM
It still has the awful glasses mcguffin. And the autobots bumbling around the like the Marx Brothers at Sam's house. And countless other ridiculously unnecessary things.
This shit by Rat Fink	Apr 27th, 2007 03:49:16 PM
is more fucked up then my checkbook
No lie! by sapno_krei	Apr 27th, 2007 03:49:45 PM
Was browsing the want ads today, and I came across "AICN Review Planter", right there between "Actuary" and "Ant Farmer".
How can there be a VW Bug in the film? by jabbathegriffin	Apr 27th, 2007 03:50:20 PM
Didn't Volkswagen forbid them from using their cars?
When is... by BillyPilgrim	Apr 27th, 2007 03:50:55 PM
the remake coming out?
ILM did the fx... by Shaner Jedi	Apr 27th, 2007 03:51:07 PM
...with a healthy assist from Bay's own Digital Domain. The practical fx were done by KNB FX.
Stupid Review by Optimus Murphy	Apr 27th, 2007 03:53:04 PM
He couldn't bother to mention whether of not the PUSSY ON OPTIMUS was more realistic and less blocky. Jesus, that's what Bay does best, and apparently the Prime Vagina is ILM's best work to date. How could he leave that out?
Pearl Harbor was not an entertaining film. by Err	Apr 27th, 2007 03:55:18 PM
Neither was Armageddon.
bongo123 by Stuntcock Mike	Apr 27th, 2007 03:55:19 PM
You are the prototype of a Michael Bay fanboy. You hear that noise? That's your Mom banging on the bathroom door so put down the Sears catalog, tuck your preeteen junk back into your Pearl Harbor Underoos, and wash your hands, din din is ready.
Wow, Messi, you really kept track of the original team by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 03:55:53 PM
I can't think of anyone outside that list that was here at the very beginning of this little slog. Still, I dont think anyone has fought as hard as Yack. Superninja came close. I think I rounded out at third or so. I'll bet anything that this thread gets to 2000 posts by monday.
why the curt hate? by rdsxfan8	Apr 27th, 2007 03:56:07 PM
the guy has never strayed from beign a man of controversy. he uses his blog to get his word out insted of what the media wants you to think happened. so what if he tells it like he sees it, Im just glad he pitches for my team!!!!!
Monty 16... by Galva	Apr 27th, 2007 03:56:10 PM
I'm well aware of the problems that have plagued Transformers. The inconsistencies, the stupid crap, the unbearably bad episodes, etc. I own all of it. However, there is a "core" to Transformers, there are bits and peices that are considered cannon across the varying continuities (the good ones, anyway) that work well, make sense, and are well worthy of being made into a film. Of course things are going to change from one medium to another, particularly one as expensive as film, but there's a point at which changes become pointless, or worse than pointless. Bumblebee's voice. The Matrix being switched out for "the Allspark cube." THEN there's just bad design. Think of characters that have lasted well beyond what is normal in pop culture- simple designs, iconic looks. I'm not going to say I want the TFs to look EXACTLY like they do in the animation design sheets, but for God's sake, making them into giant walking trashpiles (or in Starscream's case, a fat monkey/Waspinator) is going unecissarily far. Again, if Bay was ANY kind of artist, then I'd be more likely to accept change. Changes could be made to make the concept more realistic, fine. But this sure as hell isn't realistic in the least. Bay can claim that he has some kind of idea about what a movie audience will or won't swallow, but I posit that in a world where White Chicks can be a successful movie, audiences will swallow ANYTHING.
As far as movie reviewers on this site go... by Err	Apr 27th, 2007 03:57:00 PM
Not one of them lives up to what I consider the standards for movie reviewing. All these user movie reviews are made from people who have no real concept of what makes a good movie a good movie.
Dark Chocolate M&M's are the BOMB! by S-Mart shopper	Apr 27th, 2007 03:57:01 PM

Well, lads and lasses, I'm off to Best Buy by moondoggy2u	Apr 27th, 2007 03:58:10 PM
I have to pick up some DVD-R discs. Fight on.
cs didn't fake it by batmanthehorse	Apr 27th, 2007 04:01:07 PM
that blood had to be real...i still don't like schilling or the sox or the yanks or anybody. tigers all the way. gary thorne has always been a bit of a moron.
I dont get to be in the movie by Phategod1	Apr 27th, 2007 04:04:02 PM
Messi wussup with that. GARTHIMUS you crack me up. But this reviewer is too dumb to be a plant. Clearly this is Bays Target audience. The Lowest common (dumb as a box of fucking rocks) Denominator. lets hear it for the TLCD.
WIll be the biggest movie of the summer. by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz	Apr 27th, 2007 04:06:18 PM
I fucking can't wait. More stoked for this movie now then I am for Spiderman 3. Yup that's right. I can't wait to see Transformers. Sounds like it's going to be exactly what I was hoping it would be, Robots blowing shit up!!
If only GALACTUS was in this flick (without the cloud). by JDanielP	Apr 27th, 2007 04:06:41 PM
LOOKS AWESOME. This is the kind of showmanship that reminds me of how/why the summer blockbuster was born. And if Warner Bros. can't get Peter Jackson interested in directing JUSTICE LEAGUE, then they should hire Michael Bay. I'm not a huge fan of Bay. However, he does have that eye for iconic/epic imagery. And I'd take a half-hour of that... over 2 hours of something far less. Warner Bros. could do much worse. Peter Jackson first, Michael Bay second (since James Cameron won't be available).
CGI Curt Schilling---it's the EGOBOT by TomBodet	Apr 27th, 2007 04:07:04 PM
you know it's on the _Bay agenda. Anyhoose-He's still quite a good pitcher, fuck the Gary Thorne story. Ah yes our man from Old Town. It would FIGGER. Anyhoose. I thought Pearl Harbor was a messed opp. certainly. _Bay's stuff I liked-the Rock and Armageddon. Bad Boys are okay too.
if this movie is like Pearl Harbour or Armegeddon by RokurGepta	Apr 27th, 2007 04:08:57 PM
It will suck ass.
Galactus by RokurGepta	Apr 27th, 2007 04:11:09 PM
remember Star Trek: The Motion picture... maybe the cloud in ROTSS:FF4-2 will be akin to the cloud in ST:TMP? right?
Bay is going to come on all you MFers July 4th by Lost Skeleton	Apr 27th, 2007 04:12:05 PM
...and like JHud...You are going to love it!
It always comes down to story and character by superninja	Apr 27th, 2007 04:12:09 PM
for me. Great action is nice, but it's just not the point to a good film unless you have great characters. Shia as a teenage Woody Allen type is what he comes across as in that script, and if you think about it, this is really pathetic characterization. What the heck does Shia's character getting laid have to do with Transformers? It's idiotic.
Armageddon at least was bastardizing cliches by superninja	Apr 27th, 2007 04:14:56 PM
Transformers is bastardizing a great concept.
I still dont get to be in the movie by Phategod1	Apr 27th, 2007 04:16:36 PM
Hell I've had Bitch sessions with Don Murphy. Iv'e actually had one if his sycophants try to get me fired over this movie and inspired 3 out four his Screen names.
*BRING ON the summer biNg bANG boOOm BLOCKBUSTER!* by JDanielP	Apr 27th, 2007 04:16:46 PM
YeeeeEEEEAAAaahhhh, flame that silver screen, Michael Bay!
RE: "...getting laid have to do with Transformers?" by Mr. Nice Gaius	Apr 27th, 2007 04:17:16 PM
It means that Sam will "transform" into a MAN, baby.
Transformageddon, eh? by MCVamp	Apr 27th, 2007 04:18:19 PM
Once in the theater, once on the tube, and never speak of it again. Sounds like a plan.
You got the touch. by Christopher3	Apr 27th, 2007 04:18:43 PM
You got the power. So despite being live action, it's still mostly a cartoon.
Chest Bumping Fat Kids!!!! by jrbarker	Apr 27th, 2007 04:20:30 PM
That's now going to be the name of my band! Oh...and this "reviewer" is a fucking plant. What, do the studios think we're all stupid?
Its more cartoonish and simplistic than the by supernin

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