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itll be good
by Campfiresongs
Apr 19th, 2007
05:39:52 AM
it will
Daily Planet - Bugle
by Lightwave7871
Apr 19th, 2007
05:48:32 AM
Anchorite.... yeah busted! I wrote that and sent it off and had that "Oh shit" moment when I realised my mistake.... I hang my head in shame at the faux pas.... ;) Next week I'll be watching the Hulk movie thats set in Gotham ;)
its almost....
by Lightwave7871
Apr 19th, 2007
05:52:43 AM
like phantom menace in so far as it manages to look great in the trailers and push the geek buttons on paper, but in the end the film loses direction and feels over indulgent and bloated compared to the others....
"Lord of the rings had The Two Towers"
by Primus
Apr 19th, 2007
05:53:08 AM
Er... Two Towers was just as good as Fellowship, if not better. Certainly can't trust this guy's opinion. Let's hope Spidey 3 is in the same league as Two Towers!
And BTTF3 was way better than part 2
by Primus
Apr 19th, 2007
05:54:22 AM
Certainly more fun.
I saw it too
by Fuck The Napkin
Apr 19th, 2007
05:54:24 AM
Agree that Venom feels kind unsatisfyingly tacked-on. The black suit stuff works well with the whole "revenge" theme but Venom's just popped in too quickly and half-assedly, almost just to keep Talkbackers happy. Would have been nice to have saved him for a fourth film and really gone to town with him. Bruce Campbell was great, I really liked the fact there was more cartoony humour this time (the dance scene's fine with me), but really it's still another mediocre love story with lots of CG characters falling off buildings and smashing into things.
Sequel Overcompensation = Too Many Bad Guys
by Mullah Omar
Apr 19th, 2007
05:55:23 AM
An alarming number of screenwriters seem to believe that after a few films in a series, one bad guy is no longer dramatic enough. That's too bad, because my favorite bad guys are the ones with about as much screen time and character development as the hero.
Primus - sequel opinions
by Lightwave7871
Apr 19th, 2007
05:59:13 AM
If you liked Two Towers and BTTF 3 thats cool, but I was more illustrating that while good in their own way they're not as good as the others in the series... It wasn't damning either film, purely expressing an opinion that no trilogy has been consistantly great...
ZeMightyJedd, you're a plant...
by redtom
Apr 19th, 2007
06:01:17 AM
...so get the fuck out now before I grab my weed-killer...
two towers was weak
by lionbiu
Apr 19th, 2007
06:03:18 AM
the story was choppy and the acting was non-existant...definetely the weakest link in the LOTR Trilogy. I hope this movie is good...and most signs are pointing to yes.
Ok
by NudeandAroused
Apr 19th, 2007
06:03:33 AM
Still going to see the movie. Didn't think that 2 would be good. It turned out to be a classic. Hopefully 43 will be as good.
and GreekGeek?
by redtom
Apr 19th, 2007
06:06:05 AM
... so are you - that's it, where's my weed-killer...
my spidey sense is tingling...
by just pillow talk
Apr 19th, 2007
06:12:00 AM
in high anticipation of this movie. I sure I will enjoy this one just as much (if not more) than the first two. And RighteousBrother, there is no way X3 is in the same ballpark of shit like Batman & Robin.
Who cares
by Stollentroll
Apr 19th, 2007
06:16:17 AM
I can't believe all the love for the spidey movies. Why would anyone care for this pretentious crap? They may even work as children movies...but definitely not for me. When the first reviewer talks about how Aunt May doesn't feel like a real person - that's how everything in parts 1 and 2 just DOESN'T FEEL REAL. Am I the only one to recognize how bad the acting in those movies is? And the art direction? And the CGI?
"Lord of the rings had The Two Towers"
by NachoNegro
Apr 19th, 2007
06:16:42 AM
Primus if you think TTT was better than Fellowship you are clearly profoundly retarded, to the point of being completely dependent on your carers for any and all aspects of daily life. TTT had it's moments (Helm's Deep), but it was by far the weakest of the 3 films. Fellowship was the most coherent film of the trilogy.
Is this real?
by Spartacus Hughs
Apr 19th, 2007
06:24:46 AM
http://tinyurl.com/2zwh6y
am I the only one
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
06:32:54 AM
who hated Treebeard? Because I thought the work on the Ents was pretty bad. I'm sure it's diffucult to make them, i just was unimpressed
batman begins
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
06:35:05 AM
Now thats a film that holds up on a second viewing and on the 3rd and 4th ....... Spiderman1 doesnt at all ! spidey 2 does but I hope venom isnt tagged on and I certainly hope this isnt no X3.......
batman should have stopped after the first one
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
06:36:45 AM
I think they need to make The Maxx into a movie. Something really different.
Two Towers was weak???
by Primus
Apr 19th, 2007
06:43:30 AM
Two Towers was masterfully directed and edited. It had the hardest job to do of the three films, having to carry all the sub-plots without much resolution, but it did it fantastically. I thought ROTK was the weakest actually. Fellowship was also awesome of course, and certainly easier to follow, for the obvious reason that its narrative was much more linear than either sequel. Two Towers was darker, richer and grittier than the Fellowship, and it was thrilling for it. Can't believe there isn't much love for Two Towers!
kloipy
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
06:43:38 AM
batman begins is awsome it has the whole training bit, just like the original part of highlander both sean connery and liam neeson have the gravitas as a mentor ......Not the qui gon shit ! and the uncle ben but never carried that much weight
Hit and miss
by Affleckwasthebomb
Apr 19th, 2007
06:44:58 AM
I had 2 friends go see it last night, if I wasn't working I would of gone. I hate resposibilty, why can't I just be able to drop everything and see a movie. Any way they both thought it was hit and miss but one was more please than the other. Apparently not weel written with some dodgy CGI but it also kinda gives you what you want. I can't wait to check it out myself though.
Bullshit!
by Dazzler69
Apr 19th, 2007
06:45:18 AM
that S-M3 is not in America playing b4 these forign markets!
Primus, I agree
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
06:46:53 AM
TT was much better than Return. And Hesky, i agree that Begins is def. the best one since the first batman, but it just happened to bore me. I used to love batman as a kid, but now, it's just lost all interest for me.
Nobody has mentioned the Mysterio cameo.
by Spartacus Hughs
Apr 19th, 2007
06:47:16 AM
I thought there were four villains.
really?
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
06:49:28 AM
wow boring!
Trilogies - Lightwave7871
by Primus
Apr 19th, 2007
06:49:32 AM
Point well made dude. And I totally agree that trilogies are never 100% perfect - I was just surprised by your choice of which entry was weakest! But life would be dull if we all agreed on everything... For the record, I think Exorcist II is the weakest in that trilogy (ignoring the prequels). :-)
Grant morrison's The Filth
by Spartacus Hughs
Apr 19th, 2007
06:50:06 AM
Would make a good movie adaptation. Directed by Chris Cunningham. And what's happened to Steve Norrington?
How about the Matrix
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
06:51:46 AM
both of the sequels sucked rock hard cock all night long, till the break of dawn, they got it on, with a two chamber bong
We are idiots if we don't see it in theatres
by Turnquest
Apr 19th, 2007
06:53:10 AM
It's nice when you are threatened and insulted by a reviewer...with sticks and stems and leafs and bugs crawling all over.
Two Towers Rocked . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
06:53:16 AM
And X3 was made $459,256,008 worldwide, so even if Spiderman 3 sucks that bad, it'll still do pretty frickin' well because . . . haters are irrelevant. That said, Spidey 3 will do great domestically and dominate foreigh box office, to the tune of at least 600 million and may pass 800 million. And I liked most of the movies that were pointed to as trilogy "ruiners" . . . I love Back to the Futures II & III equally, Return of the Jedi is still my favorite Star Wars film (the final duel with Vader beats all the fancy CGI footwork in the prequels), and Leia's metal bikini, 'nuff said. So I'm pretty sure I'll enjoy 3, although it probably helps I don't worship Gwen Stacy (a story line I was an avid collector during) or Venom (a story line I pretty much completely avoided). But I like Spiderman, I like Sam Raimi, don't care if they reworked Sandman's motivation . . . So I predict this movie will be like an exploding shotgun full of handjobs. That is all.
Norrington !
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
06:54:23 AM
He refused to make another film after lxg because of his arguements during filming,rumor had it that he and sean connery almost came to blows!
Six words for primus
by fireclown
Apr 19th, 2007
06:55:17 AM
Wasn't no elves at Helms Deep.
Spartacus Hughes
by Affleckwasthebomb
Apr 19th, 2007
06:55:54 AM
Doesn't look real to me. I think it's a bit early for posters. I like super heroe films but only in a throw away...way except for Batman. I fricking love Batman and with Nolan I can't wait to see where it goes. Batman is the best non super super heroe in the world.
yeah
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
06:58:28 AM
batman rocks, well the last one!
Why do I keep putting an e at the end of hero
by Affleckwasthebomb
Apr 19th, 2007
07:00:44 AM
fucking idiot.
The Two Towers rocked. ROTK was the wink link
by Teamwak
Apr 19th, 2007
07:01:06 AM
So that reviewer doesnt know what he's on about then.
shannon sossamon for cat woman
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
07:03:40 AM
NOW THATS THE SHIT IM TALKING ABOUT !!!
Worst Trilogy ever
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
07:07:33 AM
Star Wars.
Please please please please please please DON'T SUCK
by Steve Rogers
Apr 19th, 2007
07:07:34 AM
I couldn't handle it. Come on Raimi, deliver the goods. Pretty please with sugar on.
Two Towers vs RTOK
by Leopold Scotch
Apr 19th, 2007
07:08:28 AM
I agree: I was most hyped up for RTOK out of the three, but in the end, my favourites are Fellowship and Two Towers.
orrr cmon
by hesky75
Apr 19th, 2007
07:08:58 AM
that pvc cat suit you know it works! she'd be great!
"Le mec le plus frais de Paris"...
by SpencerTrilby
Apr 19th, 2007
07:09:25 AM
Unique review for sure. Next time try not to borrow my Title. I fought hard for it.
LOTR is almost unwatchable
by Turnquest
Apr 19th, 2007
07:09:49 AM
I've tried to watch Two Towers, and its boring. Straight up, that's what it is. Heck, it's first-hour of King Kong boring. Fellowship worked and remains the best because it stayed true to the books. Two Towers and ROTK are both flawed because they deviated from the books storyline. Who is Peter Jackson to say that his plot and screenplay would be better structured than Tolkien's ? I mean, are there people out there who still sit around and watch LOTR? Compare to those who watch Harry Potter, or Superman or Aliens or Star Wars. In my circle at least, LOTR has lost any fanlove that it had back in 2003. Pretty much, I'd rather read the books. Enormous CGI battles does not a movie make. Aragorn "dying" and coming back for no reason does not a movie make. Friggin' angel music and elves and Hugo Weaving with giant eyes intoning in that quintessential LOTR flat monotone "THIS IS DEADLY SERIOUS" dialogue doesn't sustain for 9 hours. Any love for language that JRR had was lost in the adaptation, and the whole thing, particularly Parts II and III smack of ennui and actors just going through the motions. As Kevin Smith wrote, they walk, and walk and walk....
I mean ROTK
by Leopold Scotch
Apr 19th, 2007
07:10:15 AM
I have seen it (honest) ;)
Affleckwasthebomb
by just pillow talk
Apr 19th, 2007
07:10:41 AM
just add a 's' as well...since it returns next week....

I second that fireclown!

Jurassic Park 2 and 3
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
07:13:31 AM
were pretty God-awful don't you all think?
that's your circle Turnquest...
by just pillow talk
Apr 19th, 2007
07:15:31 AM
Me, I watch LOTR more than the Potter movies, which overall, are pretty weak. The first two, while I understand why they did it, are too kiddified. POA is the best, with GOF next. But again, one can question what they chose to put in the movie and what they chose to keep out. And I would argue that those movies are too bloated...
Le Mec le plus frais de Paris, WTF are you on?
by redtom
Apr 19th, 2007
07:16:48 AM
I mean it, that's gotta be some serious shit you're smokin...

I reckon the reason why Sony are showing this all over the place before America is coz if they showed it in America first word of mouth would destroy whatever money it would make elsewhere... this is plain old damage control in operation folks...

thanks redtom
by teutoneer
Apr 19th, 2007
07:24:04 AM
Finally someone called me a "plant".;o) It's a great honor to be called "plant" on the AICN Talback! Me, the SUPERMAN RETURNS basher!!! Greets, GreekGeek!
aunt may and the missing ring
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
07:27:46 AM
she keeps it hidden in her twatbox which was sewn up in the long, long ago
KLOIPY
by Frijole
Apr 19th, 2007
07:28:54 AM
I think JP2 was a total wash. Save for Julianne Moore and the raptor attack in the tall grass. Now JP3 may have been somewhat misguided and the ending WAS a copout. But overall it had a better cast than 2. It brought back Sam Neill. And it also included many of the set-pieces from the two novels that hadn't made it into either of the previous movies. I like it MUCH better than 2... and as the third in a series, it could have been WAY worse than it was. I don't own it... but watch it when it's on. Yeah.
frijole
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
07:37:51 AM
I agree as the the second one being the worst. I'm just saying, it's like the Matrix, as in the first one is classic and the sequels were just made to make tons of money, and lost all of the feeling of the first
Are these "official" reviews?
by Fecal Debris
Apr 19th, 2007
07:44:59 AM
Because they've officially given me a boner
TTT and ROTK were overblown wank
by LightninBolt
Apr 19th, 2007
07:53:58 AM
Fellowship was great but it's the best book anyway. SM3 looks overindulgent but definitely worth seeing.
"Lord of the Rings had the Two Towers"
by 18to88
Apr 19th, 2007
07:54:15 AM
Finally someone said it. That movie was made completely redundant by ROTK. ROTK did everything the Two Towers did, but bigger and better. That was my biggest complaint about ROTK at the time....It is so solid that it overshadows TT and makes it fairly lame.
Jesus, people, why are you talking about LOTR???
by Nice Marmot
Apr 19th, 2007
08:02:33 AM
As for Spidey, the negative reviews of 3 make it sound on par w/ 2 for me. Dont' get me wrong, 2 had some great stuff in it, there were just so many scenes I thought were retarded. Pete battling the broom closet while delivering pizzas. The "Raindrops" scene. The stupid elevator scene w/ Hal Sparks. Pete getting his suit back w/out J.J. seeing it happen. The pointless scene where Pete eats cake w/ the landlord's daughter. Just so much stupid shit. Hell, change the GreenGoblin suit and remove Macy Gray from 1 and that movie is 90 times better than 2. I love a good comic book adaptation but I just can't give the Spidey movies the huge geek stamp of approval that so many others do.
Alfred Molina acts his socks off
by smallfry
Apr 19th, 2007
08:03:08 AM
Alfred Molina acts his socks off
FELLOWSHIP is definitely the best film in the trilogy
by SpyGuy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:04:32 AM
THE TWO TOWERS was the worst of the three, but still entertaining. Still, Jackson should have received his Best Picture for FELLOWSHIP and everyone knows it, which is why ROTK was an apology Oscar.
spiderman 2 was good
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:12:06 AM
but I thought it was too long. def. the best of the superhero films imo.
Mary Jane kidnapped AGAIN
by I Dunno
Apr 19th, 2007
08:12:07 AM
Christ, is there one comic book movie where this doesn't happen in the last act?
too much information
by BizarroJerry
Apr 19th, 2007
08:16:21 AM
There is just too much information out there about this movie. The multiple trailers alone give away far too much of the film. Goddamn studios, thinking we want to know exactly what a movie's about before we see it. And I must continue to bitch about the constant spilling of spoilers all over the internet, with or without warnings. I wish people didn't want to read them. A movie is about watching it, not about just getting all the information on what happens in the plot. When you're expecting and waiting for a "bad" scene you read about, and are anticipating it, you'll hate it all the more. I'm avoiding the biggest spoilers, but I don't like that they're out there at all. Oh, and X-Men 3 was a slightly disappointing, "OK" movie. Batman & Robin was a steaming pile of horse shit. Although, at least farmers can get used to the smell of horse shit.
CHILL OUT
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:21:31 AM
The power in that line alone from B&R had enough sleaze to feltch jizm from aunt may's sandy v-jay
Another SPOILER FILLED review - negative I'm afraid
by Mr Gorilla
Apr 19th, 2007
08:22:37 AM
On the surface of it, Spider-Man 3 has it all: great cast, amazing effects, and unlike poor X3, the director that helmed the first two. So what are the problems? Well, they're mostly in the script, and in the tone of the thing. The first 20 minutes are confident, lively, funny, exciting, and one sits back in one's seat expecting 2 great hours. What Raimi does over that 2 hours is undermine that trust, bit by bit, so that by the end of the film myself and my four friends looked at each other and said 'What the HELL just happened? That was crap!' SPOILERS follow. Characters just don't make sense: 1. Even though this is the one where Peter Parker is meant to get cocky and arrogant, it still feels like he does stuff out of character. For example, Spider-Man gets handed the keys of the city, and at the ceremony snogs Gwen Stacy - in an echo of THAT upside-down kiss from Spider-Man 1 - in full knowledge that Mary Jane is in the crowd of onlookers. No boyfriend is that stupid, unless they want to chuck their girlfriend. 2. Mary Jane gets fired from a play: you think the first thing she'd do is tell her boyfriend, but - to help the flimsy plot on - she doesn't. For some reason. 3. Later, a villian tells Mary Jane to break up with Peter - which she does. But there's no scene later in the film where she explains to Peter that she was forced to behave like that. Then there's some creaky, creaky storytelling. 1. We flashback to Uncle Ben's death in the first movie - and find out that his killer WASN'T the guy we thought it was, but - wouldn't you know it - one of the villians who's just popped up in the current movie. How convenient. 2. There's a LOT of mumbo jumbo in a short space of time. Mainly the symbiote stuff that leads to Venom, and the 'experiment' that leads to Sandman. Neither of these bits of science feel that someone has attempted to make them believable, in the way that they did with Doc Ock's experiments in Spider-Man 2. In that film they took the time and as a result you bought in to the whole thing so much more. 3. The old cliched trick of showing a news reporter is used: except it's maybe the least confincing news reporter I've ever seen on film. And they employ this device at the point where the big final action scene is beginning. Which kind of pulls you out of things. 4. Evil Harry Osborn gets knocked on the head, and temporarily loses his memory, forgetting all the Green Goblin stuff. So he can have lots of nice scenes with Peter and Mary Jane about how they are friends, and we can watch him turn evil all over again. How convenient. Later - at the end of the film - he turns good. But by that time anyone in the audience with a brain is saying 'Jesus wept!' 5. If you've already used the 'news reporter' way of telling a story, don't worry, there's always the chiche of 'butler who has seen more than he previously gave away, and talks some sense into his master'. That's what they do here. And the tone! Man they get it wrong. 1.When Peter turns 'bad' there's a terrible, terrible sequence that culminates in a dance which is only comparable to Will Ferrell's 'Jazz Flute' scene in Anchorman. Parker is skidding all over the bar, dancing on tables, defying gravity - it just feels like a lame comedy sketch. So, as an audience you disconnect a bit more. 2. And bang in the final scene, there's a TERRIBLE little skit where JJonah Jameson tried to buy a camera off a little girl - it jsut goes on and on and on. END SPOILERS Final thoughts. The action is fine - but it's kind of all the same - people fighting in mid-air. So the law of diminishing returns comes in to play. The first fight, with Green Goblin 2, is stunning. But by the big finale, you feel a bit Meh! Sandman to me feels like a flawed character for a movie, in that he's just an effect (imagine that desert stuff from The Mummy - but done a bit better) so you lose the actor's performance. Hayden Church never gets the chance to shine like Willem Defoe or Alfred Molina. Oh, one more thing. Danny Elfman famously left the project, and a guy called Christopher Young is reworking his themes. Or more specifically, reworking THAT theme, again and again and again. Pretty much every time Spider-Man appears. It significantly marrs the film. At a key point at the end, Spidey lands in front of a big American flag and the music swells. For god's sake - even Superman Returns had the sense to tone down the '...and the American Way' stuff. On the upside, Bruce Campbell is funny funny in this one. Won't spoil it for you, but in this cinema of 2,000 plus, his was the one sequence where I felt that the audience truly woke up.
What's even sadder
by Mr Gorilla
Apr 19th, 2007
08:25:20 AM
At the end of X2 it looked like we were on our way to a brilliant brilliant trilogy - like the original Star Wars, or Back to the Future, or Lord of the Rings. X3 cocked that up, and also manages to devalue the other two. Spider-Man 3 does the same thing. Everyone who goes to this site - and therefore cares deeply about movies - deserves something better.
Fuck The Napkin
by Fuck The Napkin
Apr 19th, 2007
08:30:31 AM
Nah, Spider-Man 3's certainly no worse than the other two. If anything, it's slightly better. It's just really uninspiring how similar it is to the previous movies in setup, feel, dialogue, story, action, etc. It's like another two and a half hours of Spider-Man 2.
What a knob
by Fuck The Napkin
Apr 19th, 2007
08:31:14 AM
I put my name in the subject line. Doh!
I'm sure its a good movie but I dont believe the review
by Cotton McKnight
Apr 19th, 2007
08:31:26 AM
that absolutely gushed over this, calling it "iconic" and what not. Why? Because this guy clearly believes the previous two Spiderman's were "iconic" as well, and I don't know a person alive who shares that view. Sure they are fun and the first one had GREAT timing (after 9/11) but other than the whole kiss scene in the first movie (which I will admit is iconic because its been imitated/parodied endlessly), can anyone think of a single scene that is really memorable? I mean really, really memorable? To the level of ET, Jaws, etc etc? Of course you cant. Well this guy can, and thats why I dont believe a word he says.
Just be happy you even get a Spiderman movie
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:33:27 AM
it could be much worse. I mean look at the rape of most of the comics we love. Fuck Star Wars
Kloipy...
by BizarroJerry
Apr 19th, 2007
08:35:10 AM
Worse than "Chill out" was the unforgiveable "Take two of these, and call me in the morning." God almighty, it's a cliched cliche. How could someone put that down on paper? How could they type it out? How could Arnold even say it? Now, I hate to dredge up this stuff, but when confirmed the line above, I came upon the quote page from IMDB. Check out the horror: http://tinyurl.com/2evs8p
All you fanboys...
by Kid Z
Apr 19th, 2007
08:36:24 AM
... just HAD to have Venom in the film, Had to! Same for Gwen Stacey even though that character was a complete mismatch for Raimi's Spidey-verse. Well, you got your wish... Venom and Gwen are shoehorned in... and of course it negatively effects the pace and plot of the 3rd Spidey film. Happy now geeks?
ICE TO SEE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:38:48 AM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WTF!!!!!! hahahahaahahahahahahaha Bizarro, i'm with you on that one buddy
I'll tell you how than can do it
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:41:52 AM
money. Most movies now are so out of control with cheese. It's just like did they seriously let a 9 year old austistic kid, wired out on 7 year old Surge and pixie sticks write the screen play for this crap?
AUNT MAYS RING
by TheAllSeeingEye
Apr 19th, 2007
08:42:50 AM
That just made me laugh out so loud at work that people are sat staring at me.

Anyway, i have nothing but high hopes for this movie. A friend of mine has also caught a screening and has assured me it's the best movie of them all. I'd love to read more of the negative reviews, but there's spoilers in there but, from what I did read, it seems mostly to be people nitpicking.
Or hows about...
by Kid Z
Apr 19th, 2007
08:43:11 AM
... Arrnuldt in those "Visit California" PSAs?... "Cuhlifahrrnyuh! I like! Is nice!"
remember when Robin said
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:47:50 AM
Cowabunga! when he was surfing down the roof. That was one of parts of my life I wish I could erase.
Aunt May: pain in the ass
by BizarroJerry
Apr 19th, 2007
08:49:20 AM
Yes, Aunt May is truly the biggest pain in the ass in comic book history. Back when I was a kid watching "Spider-man and His Amazing Friends" I recognized this. Does anyone bring down a superhero story and ruin everyone's fun like Aunt May? Oh no, is Aunt May okay? Aunt May's sick! Someone kidnapped Aunt May! Aunt May hates Spider-man! What will happen to Aunt May? Ugh.
I WROTE I OF THE REVIEW ABOVE
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
08:49:26 AM
IF YOU WANT TO SHARE SOME IDEAS ON THE THE MOVIE JUST ASK...I'LL BE PLEASED TO ANSWER
Aunt May: Hot Piece of Ass
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
08:57:39 AM
come on, you know all of you would hit that
3 full spidey movies
by charm_of_making
Apr 19th, 2007
08:58:46 AM
and no even remotely acceptable goblin. for shame.
Dancing in my head
by smallfry
Apr 19th, 2007
08:59:44 AM
The dancing scene sounds pretty bad. But nothing could be as bad as Doc Oc's monologue in numebr 2. Voices...in my head...
Does he really strut to Stayin' Alive?
by TopHat
Apr 19th, 2007
08:59:44 AM
...or, is it just the same kind of scene but with a different song? That's pretty lame, Mr. Raimi. Harry getting amnesia? Eye liner? Mary Jane singing? Twenty minute Venom? Sick daughter plot? A DANCE SCENE?? Pascal, time to fire Raimi. He's making fun of the franchise now.
cool convo
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:00:31 AM
it would go like this. Your Friend: Hey dude, you ever sleep with someone famous? You: Yeah I banged that broad from Spiderman! Your Friend: who? Kirsten Dunst? You: No way man, Aunt fuckin' May, dude. YOur friend: Holy shit, let me suck your cock. You deserve it.
So far it all seems great.
by Mooly
Apr 19th, 2007
09:03:54 AM
The two positive reviews are a little hard to take seriously when one guy actually says that Topher Grace has only done Eric Foreman in movies (which is BS) and says that bad-spidey isn't "bad ass" enough...and the other guy complains that in a movie with like 7 actions scenes the story is too slow? Sounds like weak criticism too me from people who think S3 should have been nothing but 90 minutes of spiderman killing people.
I'm a cool American
by SithMenace
Apr 19th, 2007
09:06:43 AM
and I've never described something cool as being an eye fucker. Just sayin'.

And Spider-Man 2 was great filmmaking. Almost everything in that movie added to it's greatness, including the broom closet scene. If three sucks it's Kharma for what Raimi did to Elfman, although it will affect Raimi in practically no way whatsoever.

ONE MAJOR THING I FORGOT TO WRITE IN MY REVIEW !!!!!
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
09:13:35 AM
BEWARE OF SPOILERS !!! On the final action scene, to fight Venom and Sandamn Spidey jumps on harry's glider. Harry being right behind SPidey, this is one the gayest thing that I saw on screen since Cruising with Al Pacino. Like I wrote before I loved the movie even if it's to long. Le Mec Le Plus frais de Paris
Mooly - Its slow with 7 action scenes...
by Lightwave7871
Apr 19th, 2007
09:13:59 AM
not because I wanted to see nothing but action, it has more action than Spidey 2 for example, but the action, although well done for the most part, feels like its just cut in to break up the character scenes... as I said earlier in the talk back, its kinda like Phantom Menace (though nowhere near as bad as a movie), in so far as you get long plodding scenes which are intercut with action set pieces that feel like a different movie... If Rami could have had the emotional story tie up with Peter and MJ without the black suit fucking things up, the movie would have been a smoother ride but instead you get the emotional scenes from the past two films played out all over again, peter pushing away those he loves etc etc and it has a drawn out feel so when the action does come it feels like something put in to hold the audiences interest rather than a key moment of the story....
A few thoughts...
by Childe Roland
Apr 19th, 2007
09:16:42 AM
...uponm reading all of this:

First, I'm still way irritated with Quint's habit of characterizing a review as a positive or a negative in the preface to that review. Let the fucking reviews speak for themselves and, if you don't think they're doing that well enough, don't use them.

Second, I'm kind of surprised at all the Two Towers hate. For my money, that's the best of the bunch (ROTK could've been better if Jackson had streamlined some of his twelve endings and Fellowship, while necessary, is largely just set-up).

And lastly, it seems like this movie is going to divide folks along the same lines they were divided on when the villains were first leaked. Some folks like Venom a lot (I tend to think of these follks as the kids who started buying comics in the 90s and who consider the cartoons canon). Some prefer the classic villains (I probably fall into this latter category). I think the Sandman, as described, sounds pretty perfectly adapted and like a very compelling villain. Venom seems to have been given appropriate screen time for what he is (I lump Venom in with Bizarro and Reverse Flash and Prometheus as some of the most uninspired villains of all time).

The only thing that sounds like a disappointment is the way they're using Gwen. I really hoped that Gwen would enter the franchise just in time for them to kill off MJ and truly distinguish this as a an altrernate reality kind of Spidey where events still end up being parallel to the comics we know. Sounds kind of like she was shoehorned into this.

Still, I'm very much looking forward to this movie.

I Dunno
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
09:18:12 AM
There WAS a comic-book film without a "KIDNAPPED damsel in distress" ending...Superman: The Movie. And guess what? The best superhero movie ever made, in my opinion anyway......
I'll be killed for this
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:21:37 AM
but i can't stand Superman. Seriously, it sucks.
SO GAY
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
09:23:21 AM
When you'll see Harry and Spidey flying together on the glider, and being so happy to do it. It looks excactly like an episode of the ambiguous gay duo.
Roland
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:25:57 AM
I agree with you about TT. And I feel you on the whole Venom thing. But you know, I couldn't imagine what it must be like to be in Sam's shoes. I mean just think of the pressure that man is under to make something that unites fans. I mean the guy isn't God. I think he's done the best job that he could which is more than I can say for most directors out there today
I choose to watch SPIDER-MAN 3 spoiler free.
by JDanielP
Apr 19th, 2007
09:26:50 AM
I hate having to skim this stuff. But this is too important to me. When I was a kid, I had difficulty in choosing my favorite superhero, Spider-man or Batman. But I came to the realization that... although I was enjoying the Spider-man comics much more (at that particular time), Batman was my favorite character. Hey, ...it's a tough decision, but ya have to draw the line somewhere. And hell yes, I'm looking forward to this. And cheers to "THE DARK KNIGHT" in '08.
Just think what would have happened
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:28:20 AM
had this movie been in the hands of Mark Steven Johnson, or Mike Bay, you know.
How can you dare to say Superman sucks ?
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
09:28:45 AM
Heve you ever seen a scene as beautiful as the scee when clark says bye to his mom and she says: I always knew you would leave. Or the monologue of Brando "the father becomes the son..etc.." are you crazy. Next time you say something like that, I'd rather fuck aunt May than hearing it
Fresh Guy....
by Lightwave7871
Apr 19th, 2007
09:35:15 AM
You need to take a chill pill or something... ok you thought Harry and Peter looked gay on the glider, we get it... As I recall the scene though, I think your interpretation of it says more about you than it does about the film...
well i guess you'll be fucking aunt may a lot then
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:36:58 AM
I've seen many scenes as beautiful as that. I know a ton of people love Superman, that's cool. I just don't. I just find the whole thing boring.
"What's everybody looking at?"
by BizarroJerry
Apr 19th, 2007
09:37:03 AM
Sorry, just a quick "ambiguous gay duo" shoutout. And I also apologize for using the term "shoutout"...
FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
by ManosTHOF
Apr 19th, 2007
09:37:08 AM
Simple answer: because there are haters for everything. People who want to stand out by being contrary. Hell, in one of those reviews, Godfather II was criticized / implied as being long and boring. I'm sure if Cool Hand Luke or Raiders of the Lost Ark or any other genuinely great film came up in the discussion they would be hated on by someone.
Agreed Cotton
by The Mothman
Apr 19th, 2007
09:37:20 AM
Sam Raimi seems like he has his heart in the right place with everything he's involved in, and is more than capable of setting up great scenes, but sometimes I wonder what images James Cameron would have bought to the screen. Alas, when you start thinking of the 'what-if's with the Spidey films, it becomes a long, sometimes harrowing discussion.
TTT is IMHO one of the greatest movies ever made.
by starwarrior
Apr 19th, 2007
09:40:04 AM
I can only hope Spidey 3 "sucks" as bad. And for all the morons who won't let anyone else have their own opinions, check IMBD and Rotten Tomatoes.
DANCE NUMBER IN SPIDEY 3 = LIPS ON OPTIMUS
by Pound Sand
Apr 19th, 2007
09:40:35 AM
Although there's no way this movie will bomb because Tobey, Kiki and Sam are all involved.
I'm not trying to be different
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:41:24 AM
I just don't like superman. That's all I'm saying. Sure peoples tastes differ. That's a part of life. I'm sure some of you hate "classics" as well. Some people also love movies just to jump on the bandwagon.
'Even Superman Toned Down the American Way Stuff'
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
09:41:39 AM
Yeah, and that really helped. World wide gross for 'Superman Returns' was $391,081,192, and only $200 million domestically--about $50 million less than its rumoured budget (which, to be fair, included the cost of all the pre-Singer false starts).

By comparison, the original 1978 Superman, which did not tone down that "American Way" stuff, grossed a world wide, inflation adjusted $928,225,777-approximately $300 mil in 1978 dollars. Inflation adjusted, even Superman II came in around $750 mil in today's dollars. Don't be surprised when Spiderman 3's domestic gross tops $450 million compared to Superman Returns anemic $200 mil (which, inflation adjusted, is about as much as Superman III made with Richard Pryor as a whacky builder of evil computers!).

But people who think toning down that "American Way" stuff in superhero movies about American's, in American cities, fighting bad guys and saving lives are uniformly jackasses. So, I don't think Raimi has to worry about their negative reviews.

It would be like Speilberg worrying over bad reviews of "Schindler's List" by neo-nazis who, when not busy shaving their heads and working out, read and re-read "Mein Kampf" in their parent's basement.

"I don't know Sam. That big American flag is really likely to alienate the 'Death to America' crowd. Maybe we should make it a giant Koran? Or a sickle & hammer? That would really bring in the pro-communist workers!"

Feh.
I'm getting hated on
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:42:05 AM
just for expressing my opinion.
some one brought luggage to the theater
by Darth Hater
Apr 19th, 2007
09:42:59 AM
Spiderslayer seems to have brought some baggage with him. I Hope it's great!
Superheroes Kicking Ass Are Gay
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
09:50:56 AM
Because what are they kicking? They are kicking ass. Any why? Because they are so obviously gay.

Why has every thing got to be gay? And I say this as someone who often likes to point out when things are gay. But everything doesn't have to be gay. Why can't Harry and Peter ride on the glider together, and work together as a single heterosexual unit--like a new superhero, called The Harry Peter.

Where are the Broke Back jokes? Why do I even read these talk backs any more if there aren't going to be any Broke Back jokes? Brock Back Venom? Come on, something. Preferably in trailer form. Re-cut trailer splices that make it seem like the movie is really about the dudes in them movie being gay . . . they rock.

BTW, Two Towers rocked. It was totally NOT gay.

And French guy--isn't just being in France gay? That's what I've always thought. Be a man and move to Germany or Italy.
Kloipy . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
09:52:31 AM
Have you ever read a Talkback before? That's what happens. You say what you think, and then you are attacked for it. Or you say what you are pretending to think, and then you are attacked for it, or smarter people attack you for saying something you don't really think like you do think it just to stir shit up.

It's a Talkback. Do not participate for a boost in self-esteem.
Kloipy - don't worry dude
by just pillow talk
Apr 19th, 2007
09:53:13 AM
I completely agree with you on Superman Returns. Yes, there were some beautiful scenes, but the plot sucked. Superman did not act like the character of Superman, and of course they ignored the effects of kryptonite. Aunt May is free, so commence with the screwing Freshest Guy...
c'mon kevinwillis.net...
by just pillow talk
Apr 19th, 2007
09:55:39 AM
the Transformer talkbacks are full of such love and harmony and goodwill...
Kevin,
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:56:26 AM
I know man, i've been on here for awhile. And def. not looking to boost anything. I just think it's funny that these people can be such hypocrites.
i would have hated to see the TB's for
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
09:57:55 AM
Shindler's List. I can only imagine
I wrote the thing on the Godfater Part 2
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
09:58:28 AM
I guess I have been missunderstood. How could I criticize Godfather part 2. This is one of the most perfectly done film ever. But this is a movie you love for its slow pace. You know the story unflods on a 50 years period. It deserves a slow pace. But for spiderman, come on man, the movie last 2 hour 20, such a long time to say so little. It is a terrible exemple but look at woody allen's movie. 1 h 20 minutes, and so many thing said, so many surprises. 5I know it's a bad example) The biggest problem of spidey 3 is the poor ryhtm, At some moment you guess they cut some scene cause it was really too long. So the movie speeds up sudenly (Venom unites with Sandman) Some point remains in the dark why MJ accepts quit Peter under Harry's pressure, what's at stake ? And at the same time Raimi kept this terrible interviewer that acts like a bad replica of aprile o'neil from the TNMT anime. I still mainain I love the movie anyway, I am no hater. I am just looking for a little fight that's all
Aunt May: pain in the ass, or piece of ass?
by Pound Sand
Apr 19th, 2007
09:58:50 AM
For Spidey 4, McG should cast Rose McGowan as Aunt May.
Has anyone seen the "Faust: Love of the Damned" movie
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:07:32 AM
That movie is hillarious
Transformer Talkbacks . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:11:50 AM
Everytime I started to read them, I'd see words like "flames" and "nipples" and I'd zone out like Homer dreaming of a donut.

Don't ask me to explain.

Schindler's List was a little pre-AICN Talkbacks. But I can guess how it would have gone. "Spielberg has sold out." "Most BORING Movie ever. Black & White! So artsy!" "The holocaust is gay!" "I can't believe he cast the guy from Darkman! What the hell was he smoking?!?!?!" "THE JEWS RUN HOLLYWOOD!!!" "Too Soon!" "Nipples on Schindler?" Something like that.
LOLOLOL Kevin
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:12:44 AM
yep Nazi's gotta eat
Just when i thought i could get rid of Superman Returns
by DarthBakpao
Apr 19th, 2007
10:15:14 AM
... from my memory, coming this May people will start to make comparison between those two. Superman Returns was "good", especially on DVD, all thanks to the fast-forward button so i don't have to sit through those boring moments (and there were plenty of 'em)
or "hitler killed the jews but I looked over and Kurt
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:15:53 AM
Russell was laughing so it's ok"
To kevinwilis..
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
10:16:14 AM
I Do not what to say, what to answer. Lol for the Hetero sexual unit ! I totally agree It's great to point out gay things, a little bit homophobic i guess but so fun. Everybody needs a little of that, a little bit of racism, antisemitsm to make the society works. and I mean a little bit just in jokes. I did not know than being french would make me gay. I thought it would make me complain about everything, wearing a black beret and eating a baguette in front of the eiffel tower and also selling jews to germans. I guess I was wrong. Do not worry I know we are a terrible country but I wish I had a president with cowboy boots.
I Can See Schindler's Balls!
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:18:48 AM
Seriously, Ain't It Cool ought to have "Back in Time!" special articles where Harry or Quint or someone give tongue and cheek reviews of movies from the 90s and 80s and, heck, even 30s.

"Harry Say's He Would Definitely GIVE A DAMN About Scarlett!" With the requisite Hollywood gossip about David O. Selznick and Spencter Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. And the TBers would have to play along! "Deviates from the source material! How could they cast a British actress as Scarlett? Were they pinching laudanum?!?" "Glorifies slavery! Shouldn't be surprising because it was MADE BY JEWS!" "I'm straight as an arrow and still Clark Gable gives me a Massive Pants Pole!" And so on. Good fun!
Harry sinks his fangs into Nosferatu
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:23:25 AM
Mori gives biting satire
Frenchest Guy In Paris
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:26:09 AM
I love the cowboy boots. Main reason I voted for Bush, that and the video where he does his hair before an interview by brushing it with his hand once and then flipping off the camera. That rocked.

Seriously, I like French people a lot. The bread. The fries. Multiple mistresses. Not having to take a bath. The French have given us a lot of great things. Like the Statue of Liberty, and Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette.

I've been to France once (in 1982), and I stayed at a hotel that backed up against a small excavated Roman-era arena. That had been converted into a little park type of thing. That was so cool.

Thomas Jefferson observed that the French live a life of sensuality and art, that there are parks every few blocks, that there is a fountain (it seemd to him) on every street corner.

Paris is, indeed, very beautiful. And we all know that beautiful cities make you gay.

While waiting for movies about muscular men who swing around the city in tights is a highly masculine, heterosexual thing we American's like to do.

And I am secure enough in my manhood to admit that I find Bruce Campbell a little attractive. Must be that two weeks in France. Now, as a French waiter . . . damn, this I gotta see.
Quint has a whale of a time at Orca
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:29:19 AM
Capone goes directly to jail in the Crying Game
Sphincter Tracy
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:29:31 AM
Seriously, the "Spencter" Tracy thing was a typo, and has nothing to do with a lifelong animus towards Spencer Tracy because he got to diddle a young Katherine Hepburn and I never will.

Now someone else needs to bring up something that has nothing to do with Spiderman 3. This could easily become . . . the Greatest TalkBack of All Time! (insert echo)
Does Angelina Jolies poop smell really bad?
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:31:54 AM
because I imagine that she takes really large dumps
Maybe she smears her period blood on the walls
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:36:04 AM
in order to save the world
Whale of a Time at Orca!
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:36:26 AM
Man, that movie bored me. Of course, it came out when my favorite movie was "The Big Bus" (a movie that just begs for a remake, if you ask me). Wasn't it like Richard Harris (who I love) and Bo Derek walking around on ice looking for shadows? And some salty old sea tales that sounded suspciously regurgiated from Jaws?

"Harry says: Jaws is Tasty!" "Quint Has Seen ROTJ and says Ewoks Rule! Sorry, Haters!" "Can A Car Be The Hottest Chick in a Movie? It can if it's John Carpenter's 'Christine'!" "Harry Says Likeable Sam J. Jones, the New 'Flash Gordon', is destined for a Long and Illustrious Film Career!" "'Taxi Driver' is an Intense Ride, But Travis Bickle is Tragically Miscast!"
Angelina Jolie Hates Her Father
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:38:09 AM
And gets her revenge by phoning in crappy performances in crappy movies.

That is all.
Harry gets the jitters from Critters!
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:38:55 AM
Capone loves the deadly sin in The Goonies! Harry goes on autopilot during Flight of the Navigator!
just pillow talk, and others...
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
10:40:36 AM
I said SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE, not that piece of shit Superman Returns. How ANYONE can make THAT mistake, I'll never know....
Harry says The Garbage Pail Kids Movies is the best
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
10:41:20 AM
movie he's ever seen! Mori wants NOTHING to do with the NeverEnding Story
I'd Love to See a "First Time" Review from Harry
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:41:36 AM
(Or Quint, or Moriarty) of movies like "Goonies" and "Tron" and "My Science Project" and "War Games"--a cautionary tale of the futility of Ronald Reagan's arms build up!--and "Temple of Doom" and "Last Star Fighter" (which we almost kind of got not that long ago).

That's probably just me, tho.
Superman Returns was a Great Movie . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
10:43:26 AM
If you want your childhood raped. Or if you want to sleep in the theater. Or if you want to feel that an eight dollar movie ticket was the biggest fucking waste of money in your life, and you would have been happier sending $1000 bucks to Nigerian scammers. Superman Returns was great for that, too. And am I the only one who felt that Superman was a little gay in that movie? Kind of, you know . . . French?
kevinwillis.net
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
10:45:14 AM
"Superman" was VERY "emo" in that shitfest. No doubt.
Two Towers WAS the weakest
by Razorback
Apr 19th, 2007
10:45:54 AM
It was messy. Sure, it had some of the coolest sequences, but then so did Return of the Jedi. However, like Jedi, Towers feels like a movie poorly constructed. There is a reason for that... it was pieced together after the whole screenplay had been written. Towers was an afterthought because they didn't expect to make all 3 movies.
So it's an 'eye fucker' with 'no emotional cliffs'?
by raw_bean
Apr 19th, 2007
10:50:14 AM
That hilariously bad review deserves 'tons of treasures of hate'.
Totally agree
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
10:51:18 AM
Yep you're right we do have a nice country thank you. I would never die for my country, cause it's a stupid project to die for something that makes you pay taxes. But still I have to say that we do bathe. We have the dirtiest sidewalk ever, but we wash. And we're not crazy about Jerry Lewis also. Thank god This generation is dying. This country is getting too old to remain populated with frenchmen, we should become something else I guess. Something with more entousiasm and youth. Old people not knowing who is Will Ferrel are killing me. Use to live in the US myself and you're right, you guys are so ignorent and narrow-minded (I know you never said that,it was for my own pleasure) but at te same time your country invented the air Jordan. I do not know where to stand. I love America and at the same, I want to burn your O'Reilley. (guy form fox) To go back on spiderman... I have to say that you guys make people dream big enough to make a movie about a patriotic superhero. There's not a single chance that we could make a Rat-man a french superhero waving the french flag. It would be so pathetic. Our actors look to rude or to gay, I guess. It is a problem. I can wait to see the Captain America movie, I am sure it would do great in France;-)
from the "eye fucker guy" who deserves tons of hate
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
11:00:57 AM
I know my review is not that great, but come on man, i tried my best. I tried to write with generosity, And that's what counts. I guess there's some stupid parts and I lost a lot of my english. Sorry You know what to appologize i'd love to fuck your mom, so we are square. What do you think ?
Geez, Frenchie, calm down, man...
by redtom
Apr 19th, 2007
11:04:34 AM
... did you not take that chill pill the doctor recommended earlier?

Superman Returns
by kwisatzhaderach
Apr 19th, 2007
11:08:37 AM
What a fucking piece of shit. SUPERMAN THE MOVIE is the greatest comic book movie ever and always will be. Bryan Singer, you are truly devoid of talent to screw up making a Superman movie. Superman III and IV may suck but at least they got the character of Superman right in them.
Ignorant And Narrowminded Americans
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
11:16:22 AM
Actually, that's just a put on. The whole "don't know shit, don't read, don't know nuthin' except wrestling and McDonald's and Budweiser" . . . the whole thing is an act to piss off snooty French people. They teach it to us in nursery school. Normally, when I meet people from Paris, I ask them: "Paris, Texas or Paris, Tennessee? And why do you talk so funny?"
Burn my O'Rielly?
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
11:23:57 AM
Seriously, Frenchy, keep your hands off my O'Rielly. I've heard about guys like you.

Actually, O'Rielly is a jack ass. But I like him and I like his show. Sort of the same way I like a lot loudmouth TalkBackers. Of course, I'm a rock-ribbed, flag wavin' conservative Republican--and of the opinion that the more Europe hates us, the better we must be doing.

However, that doesn't mean I wouldn't want you to fuck my mother. She likes wussy men. And she speaks French! Although she's about as old as Aunt May, so you might want to reconsider . . . although, technically, it wasn't my mother you were originally offering to fuck. So I hope I'm not being too presumptious.

Just ribbin' ya. Like a French Tickler, I rib for your pleasure. You have a fine review. And I'm looking forward to seeing S3, and nobody is gonna rain on my enthusiasm.
no total
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:29:20 AM
are you hitting on me or something?
Whoever put up the Joker link - AWSOME JOB!
by kinghenryVIII
Apr 19th, 2007
11:32:38 AM
That looks great - here's to hoping it stays like that.

I'll watch this for the fighting scenes - Spiderman - but that's it. Give me more Batman anyday! I would wait to just rent this but I am feeling the action will look better on the big screen.

Actually, kwisatzhaderach...
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
11:35:33 AM
It's easy to fuck-up Superman if you have NO IDEA who the character is. If you go on some "hazy" childhood memories of a movie, combined with what MUST be a love for cheesy soap-opera "drama", you are BOUND to fail. And fail he did.
Why not Kill Spiderman?
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
11:38:08 AM
Mary Jane and Peter have hot sex in spiderweb and just as they both orgasm simultaneously Venom kills them both and then the Hulk kills Venom.

Leading logically to the next Hulk movie: Edward Norton and Brad Pitt in "Hulk Club". First rule: Don't make me angry. Second rule: Don't make me angry. Third Rule: You wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Then it turns out Bruce Banner's just nuts and Hulk is just a figment of his trouble imagination.
TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
11:40:36 AM
Totally wants to do Kloipy. He wants to give Kloipy wet sloppy coffee-and-cigarette kisses.

Although, word on the street is that the TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION only lasts about TOTALLY FIFTEEN SECONDS, so don't get your hopes up.
LOLOLOL that would be a much better Hulk movie
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:41:16 AM
and it ends with a hulk-like curbing
TT Extended edition is far better than the theatrical
by CrichtonAstronut
Apr 19th, 2007
11:41:59 AM
The most improved I'd say. While the other two were enhanced by the added scenes, I think The Two Towers really needed them. When I went to see it in theaters I was really hyped to see and after a little put off by how often they cut from one story line to the other just as I was starting to get in to that part. It became very distracting. The extended cut slows the pace and deepens each storyline so I really get into each arc before shifting gears into one of the other. And transitions seemed much smoother for it. I think the extended cut was really closer to the structure PJ wanted when he made the film. What makes it all the more impressive is that it had to start in the middle and end in the middle and work dramatically, and in the exended cut it does. That said, ROTK kicks major, league ass, and Fellowship is exquisitly rendered, and maintain their basic structure in both versions.
Well he did say it was the express lane
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:44:14 AM
and he probably doesn't even cuddle afterwards
God bless you
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
11:47:39 AM
I'll be happy your mom too. I love to bring my help anywhere i can. What do you mean by talking funny ? Does it mean agressive, or does it mean poor english ? Anyway go see S3, you're smart enough to see what works and what doesn't. Who needs those reviews, one written from a german (i mean come on like those guy knows anything about art, they are germans the joke is already inside their name) A greek guy, that calls himself the greekgeek how low can you go ? As if the're was enough money in his country and waste to produce geeks inside the society. And a frenchguy such as myself who makes up expression like eye fucker just to to sound a little bit more american. What a looser league to review this movie. This is the first time that i write talkbacks it's so addictive, and i the same you waste some much time. I love it. You always have a guy who wants to link the subject you are talking about to lord of the rings. (What a terrible movie by the way, so goyish) Spiderman that's a jewish super hero. That's why I love the guy also. In the outside he's a looser who doesn't fit in. But inside he's strong and has a good heart. This is the jewish soul that's told in this movie. For example Batman is totally a gentile super hero. What jew on earth with money, a huge mansion,( a mansion, no jews has a mansion) would risk his life to serve a death wish. The guy would to the shrink and that's it period. This is my point of view. It engages only myself of course
$150 million dollar weekend
by Mr Incredible
Apr 19th, 2007
11:48:46 AM
Bad reviews or not, this movie will make a crap load of money. It will have mine that weekend (money, not crap,so to speak).
Freshest Guy
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:52:02 AM
what the hell are you talking about? Also, i hope you are joking, because you just came off as the most pathetic person I've ever heard
I think
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
11:54:48 AM
He's trying to be "funny". He should try harder.
Of course i am joking
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
11:55:02 AM
How can you believe I would be serious.
does Total Fucking Destruction mean
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:55:03 AM
gay sex? because it sure sounds like it does. Oh yeah, I also heard that Brad baked a loaf of bread out of Angelina's crusty yeast infection. and they shared it with Maddox. Destruct that bitch
well then bravo my friend
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:57:02 AM
because you really have done justice for your people
"We saw it with Batman Forever and Batman & Robin"
by The Artist FKA Vesuvio
Apr 19th, 2007
11:57:34 AM
Uh-oh.
Destruct that Bitch!
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
11:58:02 AM
I think I just became an action hero
Oh man come man
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
11:59:04 AM
Batman being jewish that's a funny image. Imagine the guy getting anxiety attack in his own batcave.... I would love it
actually it's more racist than funny
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:01:01 PM
but i guess that's just a cultural divide
Kloipy Is Actually John Voight
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:04:49 PM
Using AICN TalkBack's to get back at his estranged daughter. Uncool, dude. Uncool. I expected more from the Midnight Cowboy.
I am jewish, i like
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
12:05:41 PM
I am jewish, i like pastrami, i worry too much, i terrible in sports, And i do have pannick attack I am a steretoype i guess. But you need those otherwise reel racists doesn't know what to fear
FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
12:06:32 PM
Racist comment? How dare he?? I demand he be suspended from the Talkbacks for 2 weeks, followed 1 day later by his "firing" from said Talkbacks! There is NO room for these kind of comments HERE.
after that football movie I did it went downhill
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:06:55 PM
I have a problem, i'm sorry Angie
I don't think Jewish people talk like Tarzan
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:09:11 PM
They Fear fear itself!!!!
Lol . I know, i am making
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
12:13:21 PM
Lol . I know, i am making any effort to write properly it is a lazy day for me. I in bed, i computer on stomach, i not move never, see what kind of guy i am.
Why did Doc Ock continue with his device after
by ComputerGuy68
Apr 19th, 2007
12:14:10 PM
the accident? I thought it made no sense. I'll catch SM3 via torrents thank you...
Firing Frenchest Guy on Talkbacks . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:20:51 PM
He's French. That would be racist, to fire him for supposed racism. That would be like there being consequences to Al Sharpton participating in a fraudulent show trial to try and get an innocent white guy put in jail and getting in trouble for it. Or calling Jesse Jackson on the carpet for his anti-Jewish comments.

There are two important things that must be in place before someone can be accused of racism: 1: "They must be white and American or pro-American but preferably actually American, and preferably male" and 2: "They don't need to do anything else. If they're white and male and American, they are de facto racists. Fire their asses. Now."
I guess that makes a racist then
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:22:15 PM
Thank God, we don't have double standards in this country!
What a looser !!!
by FRESHEST GUY IN PARIS
Apr 19th, 2007
12:23:10 PM
How can you watch a movie like that trough torrent. I mean with such a poor quality, do not watch it at all. Do you really want to see it on a computer with a moving frame, hearing the laughters of an audiance so dumb it doesn't notice a camecorder on a tripod. You know what man FUCK YOU !! Yep Fuck you for your lack of exigence in life. I hate people like you, you'd better never watch the fuckin' thing. At least rent the dvd. "I'll catch the torrent" Dumbass! you should be ashamed.
Dock Ock Continued With His Device . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:24:51 PM
Because the tentacles told him to, through their neural nano connections.

A better question is why didn't a trillion degree fusion reaction, even if ostensibly contained, at least result in a gigantic steam explosion when it hit the water? Something of that size, at fission or fusion temperatures, should have caused a mushroom cloud of steam over New York at the very least. But then we couldn't have seen that dramatic scene of Doc Oc sinking into the blackness.

Spiderman 4: Bruce Campbell as Mysterio. Topher Grace can play Peter Parker, for all I care. And then he can team up with Firestar and Ice Man and they'll call themselves the Spiderfriends!
I Have Issues With the Words . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:27:03 PM
"Doc" and "Ock". I suppose that's why I could never break into comic book writing.

Torrent's suck. Go see the movie, buy the DVD, or don't watch the damn movie.
I'm waiting for the Jubilee movie
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:29:04 PM
July 4th the sparks will fly
Looser . . . ?
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:29:49 PM
The word is "Loser", Frenchy. I frequently have made fun of the spelling and speech of people for whom English is not a first language, even though I don't know any other language. I once harasses a South Korean guy in college about it (years ago), and it pissed him off, but, fortunately, he didn't decided to shoot me.

Or, if you want to be extra hip, try: "Lozer!" or just hold up your finger and your thumb in the shape of an "L" on your forehead.
also you should say "Word to your mother"
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:33:16 PM
as often as possible. That's what the cool kids say all the time
Two Towers
by Mattyboy122
Apr 19th, 2007
12:34:58 PM
Was the weakest because they made a film that was just as long as Fellowship while containing about half of the content of the actual book. While the Extended Edition of Fellowship only made it better, it made The Two Towers even more boring. If Anything, TTT needed more cut out (like, say, the superfluous stuff Jackson threw in there). What's more, Helm's Deep is cringeworthy much of the time. Too little meshing of cg and live-action footage in the same shot, making it painfully obvious when we were seeing an all-effects shot and an all-real shot. Luckily Jackson fixed that problem by combining cg and live-action in Return of the King. But yeah, Fellowship was the best of the bunch there. Oh, and Spider-Man 3 looks pretty awful, Batman Begins was good, but dull, and Mask of the Phantasm is the best comic book flick made. Done and done.
Jubilee: The Motion Picture
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:37:50 PM
They made that movie:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00 76240/

Oh, you mean the mutant. Well, hell, I'm stilling waiting for a Dazzler movie. Mutant disco would kick seven different kinds of ass.

More the the point, hopefully the Wolverine movie will establish that the X-franchise is an excellent source of spin-offs. I'd like to see more of even the crappy characters, in other movies. Surely, more Iceman and Pyro, much more Kitty Pryde, Colossus, Nightcrawler . . . most of these characters are good enough to get their own movies. I'm a big fanboy of the idea of having the next Hulk film, or the first Hulk sequel, be a thoughtful, well-scripted take on the Hulk Vs. Wolverine series of Hulk comics that was Wolverine's debut.

And Angel. What a great character, and really short changed in X3 (which I did not hate, btw). Although I'm hoping an X4 features a re-powered Mystique and Magneto squaring off. And maybe Nightcrawler comes back, and Halle Berry's shoe-horned Storm dialog disappears forever. And Tobey MacGuire makes a guest appearance as the photographer from the Daily Bugle. And Kirsten Dunst gives me a lap dance. Am I asking too much?
Word to Your Mother!
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:40:39 PM
If there was a problem, Yo, I'll solve it. Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it! Ice, ice, baby.
Halle Berry should just disappear
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:41:02 PM
after Catwoman. I didn't hate X3, def. the worst of the series, but still had it's moments of coolness
I just want The Maxx to be a movie
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:41:30 PM
and I'd be happy
Sounds plantastic
by Rupee88
Apr 19th, 2007
12:42:16 PM
but I agree it doesn't matter if it sucks, most everyone will still go see it.
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandle
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:43:52 PM
Look who's back. Dude, I'm not the one telling people I'm going to give them Total Fucking Destruction. That just screams "2 inch penis"
The Two Towers was awesome!
by Darth Thoth
Apr 19th, 2007
12:44:45 PM
And the extended edition was a classic.
X3 Underserved the Concept of the Phoenix Arc
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
12:46:50 PM
It should have save Phoenix for 4, and kept the elements of the mutant war, beefed up angel, excised Storm, and it would have been a better movie. Famke would have had less to do, but she could appear to Wolverine and Scott as visions in their mind, with hints of the truly planetary destruction Dark Pheonix was leading towards . . . or had her come back, troubled but safe, with only hints of the darkness to come.

Ah, well. I don't care that they screwed with the comicbook plot (I really didn't want to see the Starjammers, sorry) but Dark Phoenix should have been wider in scope. Otherwise, I liked it--I liked that Beast took out Magneto, I liked that Magneto got taken out. And so on. But now, I must lunch.
Enjoy my friend
by Kloipy
Apr 19th, 2007
12:51:03 PM
eat deep
After Watching Spidey Film Clips
by zinsider
Apr 19th, 2007
12:58:27 PM
there is no way this movie could suck. http://tinyurl.com/26f3tl
But w/ respects to SM3
by Darth Thoth
Apr 19th, 2007
01:07:58 PM
Great reviews. Thanks to those who sent them in. Good reads. I had to skim the spoiler stuff but from what I was able to gather it appears to play out exactly how I expected it to- good and bad. Well, in 2 weeks I'll find out for myself. Peace.
X3
by Darth Thoth
Apr 19th, 2007
01:09:33 PM
Sucked. I'm sorry. It sucked so bad I was personally offended. Marvel should be ashamed for the way its property was treated. Pathetic.
kevinwillis.net and frenchy
by ComputerGuy68
Apr 19th, 2007
01:15:41 PM
Thought it was a dumb plot for an otherwise OK film (Doc Ock stuff that is)

As for torrents, the stuff I watch is anamorphic, AC3 rips from DVD. And I watch them on my Widescreen TV. Never heard of a home theater PC?

Oh and I get them about a month before the DVD hits
by ComputerGuy68
Apr 19th, 2007
01:21:36 PM
the store. Frenchy, go surrender to someone OK?
Kevin Smith and the "they walk and they walk..." remark
by Mr. Phoenix
Apr 19th, 2007
01:47:36 PM
Yeah, like I'm going to seriously listen to the guy who made Jersey Girl. LOTR: Best trilogy yet made. Each film gets progressively better. Period. Spider-Man 2 is brilliant, I have high hopes for 3. Now back to the useless bitching and moaning.
Eye Fuckers Are Go!
by Doctor_Sin
Apr 19th, 2007
01:55:00 PM
Thanx to everyone for the reviews. Pretty much sums up my expectations. I'll be there.
Enjoy Spidey 3's bank truck chase
by Fecal Debris
Apr 19th, 2007
02:00:43 PM
and know that it's really Cleveland, and that I watched it all happen for real. Hey pillow, my house could use a vaccuum cleaning. Please send Hilary Duff over when she's finished there.
"I Saw Highlander...It was Sheeet!"
by DarfurOnTheRocks
Apr 19th, 2007
02:24:57 PM
The first reviewer is clearly a plant. Here he is talking about the great movies of 82 and him wondering if any other movie to recapture that sentiment, but then forgets to mention that Pirates of the Caribbean? Nice try...
ROTJ's duel better? WTF?
by NightArrows
Apr 19th, 2007
02:26:45 PM
QUOTE: "the final duel with Vader beats all the fancy CGI footwork in the prequels"END QUOTE Jesus, that's the dumbest thing I've read in a long time. The ROTJ duel is the weakest in the entire saga, that includeds Old Ben's duel in ANH. At least he had the excuse of being a thousand years old. ROTJ's duel was supposed to, and should have topped, ESB's. It's the final showdown and was weak as shit, "Wow, I can wave my saber back and forth cause this is the last film and I'm alowed to be fucking LAZY". I'm sorry but TPM's and especially ROTS's kicked it's fucking ass, then wiped it's ass with it. Am I also to believe you liked X3? That would say it all. X3 is an aborted piece of uninspired shit that catered to the mouth breathing masses who keep Paris Hilton in the spotlight and Britney Spears in Rolex...From top to bottom X3 was horrible, and missed so many opportunities to be great that Ratner and Rothman should be fired into the fucking sun.
THIS SOUNDS SHIT. Raimi dropped the ball
by performingmonkey
Apr 19th, 2007
02:32:36 PM
We're getting two half-baked villains, more crap acting from James Franco (not to mention a STUPID plot device where he has amnesia just so they can include some scenes where he's normal), the symbiote meteorite just happening to hit next to Peter, Venom looking terrible, MJ not dying, Aunt May not dying and just being annoying, ruining the Uncle Ben thing by having Sandman involved. FUCK IT.
Lightwave7871 you have a TERRIBLE taste in movies
by Proman1984
Apr 19th, 2007
02:37:52 PM
For my money "Two Towers" was by far the best movie in the LOTR trilogy. I mean WTF, man? Same goes for "Temple of Doom". You want to talk about dissapointing entires, how about "Back to the Future 3" or "Godfather 3". Or Batman Begins for that matter? Yes, I am one of those people who disliked "Batman Begins".
NightArrows ->
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
02:39:18 PM
X3 was fair. ROTJ duel was better than Empire and especially all of the tedious Revenge of the Sith. Two Towers rocked. The opening was da bomb. Gandalf's duel the the Balrog was better than any duel in the whole Star Wars pantheon.

Britney Spears is a troubled woman. I don't think much of Paris Hilton. But, yes, ROTJ duel was better and the movie was a remains my favorite of the series, with Empire next then ANH, then all three prequels strung together with all of the dialog that isn't Ian McDiarmid cut out. And anything that shows Christian Hayden's face for any length of time. I also enjoyed Back to the Future II and III equally. So there.
I Enjoyed X3 About Ten Times More . . .
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
02:41:16 PM
Than Superman Returns. And so did the rest of the movie going public world wide, judging by the box office. Ratner owned Singers ass, and not in a gay way. That is all.
wow...
by NightArrows
Apr 19th, 2007
02:54:29 PM
You really have no fucking taste. Gandalf and the Balrog? WTF are you smoking? It's the worst compositing in the entire fucking series. Box office means jack fucking squat, as again, I direct you to Britney no talent Spears. She sells millions of "albums", and they are shit. Enjoy your Reality Distortion Field™, it seems to be working really well...
To be fair...
by Kal El Vis
Apr 19th, 2007
02:57:39 PM
X3 WAS a better film than Superman Returns. But, that isn't saying much....
The Landlord's Anorexic Daughter is back for this one?
by themikejonas
Apr 19th, 2007
03:00:05 PM
Awesome! That's all I needed to know!
ROTJ duel was awesome because you had so much
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
03:03:59 PM
invested in the characters at that point. It beats anything in the prequels, that fight with Darth Maul was boring - who cares about any of those characters? Who care Qui-Gon and Maul bit it? I sure don't.
Yeah, the gag with the landlord's daughter is odd
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
03:04:55 PM
and I'm not sure why it's being continued. Maybe she is Black Cat, hahah.
That Gandalf/Balrog fight was bad.
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
03:09:52 PM
That should've been the most intense moment in the film, and it fell flat because of the scale. It needed to be more clausterphobic, more intense, but I never got a sense of dread at all. Disappointing!
Gandalf/Balrod Fight Rocked
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
03:19:07 PM
I Love It. I've watched it dozens of times. I can see your point about it being more clausterphobic, but I don't care. Still love it. I'm all for the landord's anorexic daughter being back. I liked Spiderman 2, and she certainly didn't hurt. Schwing!!
The Gandalf/Balrog fight, not so much
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
03:21:31 PM
You didn't see the Balrod fight? Maybe that was a different movie. I think that was Jenna Jameson and The Two Rock Hard Towers. Or The Coming of the King.
NightArrows, I Hear You Are Frustrated
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
03:23:37 PM
I'm sorry the success of Britney Spears and Brett Ratner has made you so unhappy. I wish you all the best in your own creatively superior endeavors!
Who Let the *PLANTS* Out
by da-giez
Apr 19th, 2007
03:31:24 PM
who who who...
What do you like about it? I'm curious.
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
03:32:58 PM
Choices like that (repeated throughout all three films) make me want Jackson nowhere near The Hobbit.
What's Wrong With...
by Darth Melkor
Apr 19th, 2007
03:42:17 PM
Return of the Jedi, Back to the Future 3, and The Two Towers?
Dude, I'm hoping that's a typo and you meant
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
03:47:21 PM
Back to the Future 2. :)
"lord of the rings had two towers"
by naked_mandy
Apr 19th, 2007
03:51:00 PM
bullshit man. the extended cut of Two Towers is a fantastic movie, with the best pacing, characterization and tone of all three. The theatrical cut? maybe a bit weak, but still, I think it's bullshit to say that Lord of the Rings is a true example of a trilogy with a weak chapter. Then again, I also liked "Back to the Future part 3" quite a bit so maybe I'm just off my rocker.
But X3 was fantastic!?!
by ejcarter9
Apr 19th, 2007
03:54:19 PM
So I don't get it.
First harry/spidey fight scene ICONIC?! fuck i hope not
by wolvenom
Apr 19th, 2007
04:08:31 PM
if its the same scene we all got likea 7 minute preview of and you're telling me thats one of the top 2 fight scenes in the movie then FUCK THIS SHIT! That scene was mediocre at best.
Just say, 'I love crepes!'
by Jackie Boy
Apr 19th, 2007
04:56:53 PM
Hakuna Matata, bitches!
X3 better than Superman Returns?
by Mr. Phoenix
Apr 19th, 2007
05:29:25 PM
GIVE ME A FRIGGIN BREAK. Furthermore, Paris Hilton is not a better actress than Meryl Streep. The only place Ratner would ever own Singer's ass is in a "dumb fuck" competition. The Batrog/Gandalf duel IS CLEARLY AMAZING. IT's epic, iconic, and is true to the books. Don't hate on things just so you can feel unique.
On Two Towers...
by Godardwhowhatnow
Apr 19th, 2007
05:39:20 PM
Two Towers had, hands down, the best dramatic pacing of all three films, and is by far the most watchable of the trilogy for that reason. Fellowship is great, but has its climax 45 minutes before the end of the film, and thus ends with a relative whimper. ROTK suffers from massive battle overload. The battles in ROTK seemed to be 'cranked to 11' daylight versions of Helm's Deep, and while they were indeed amazing in many ways, by the time Aragorn and company make it to the black gate, I was COMPLETELY desensitized to massive battles with swords and arrows. It was like watching the finale of a fireworks show go on for thirty minutes. Conversely, while the second act of TTT doesn't have the fury and spectacle that ROTK's does, it does have tension, which ROTK needed much more of. When Aragorn and company are suiting up for battle and preparing the villagers for their last stand, it actually feels like they're all doomed. This makes the Uruk army's first appearance over the horizon truly frightening. When Aragorn and company are barricaded in with Theoden and they suit up to ride out and face their attackers, part of me is actually worried that they may be going to their death. And best of all, it's a true climax. We don't get a watered down Amon-Hennish pseudoclimax, and we don't suffer through a half hour of [let's face facts, here] boring, "it's my duty to the fans and to the Tolkien estate" epiloguery. I left the theater after seeing Fellowship with restrained excitement, and I left the theater after seeing ROTK exhausted, but I left the theater after seeing TTT feeling exhilarated.
two towers
by silent 1
Apr 19th, 2007
06:13:53 PM
felloship was the better film but two towers had the better beginning and climax gandalf vs the balrog and gandalf riding down the side of the mountain seeing those two scenes in the theater was nothing but fucking biblical
SM3INO!!
by finky089
Apr 19th, 2007
06:18:06 PM
Eh, it CAN'T be worse than TINO will be in July. Just can't be.
My freakin' luck
by Darth Thoth
Apr 19th, 2007
06:29:53 PM
I DJ part time and last fall my mother asked me to DJ an event on May 4th for some teachers at her school. A retirement dinner thing. Nothing big I thought. I was thinking a quick 2 hour afterschool/ afternoon affair in the gymnasium or something. I'd DJ it and then that night go out and watch SM-3. I just found out 20 minutes ago that the event is at a country club and runs from 6-11pm. Factor in equipment set up and breakdown time and my evening is now officially shot. That means no Friday night live crowd NYC Imax action. I am freakin' pissed! Pissed! PISSED!!! My freakin' luck. Do my mom a favor and get screwed out of my fun in return. Of course when I got this news I flipped. And of course my mother couldn't understand why and told me to get over it. Unreal. I'm so depressed right now. So depressed.
Two Towers
by Maceox
Apr 19th, 2007
06:31:44 PM
Did that guy just call TTT the weak link in the trilogy? Ummm O.K. everyone has opinions but well...Ummmmmm...(Be Nice) Ummm I respecttttt your opinionNooooooo. What a Dumb Ass!!!! Whew I tried to be nice. Oh Well.
Le Mec le plus faible de Paris
by Barry Guiler
Apr 19th, 2007
06:32:58 PM
You’ve ruined our reputation in the United States more than Chirac did back in 2002 using our veto power at the UN Security Council against the Irak war...Well done dude.
Lord of the Rings
by Darth Thoth
Apr 19th, 2007
06:37:51 PM
I thought the beauty of that series was that all 3 were of serious quality and top notch. Whereas other trilogies there may have been a clear weak link, in Rings, you could argue any of the 3 were the best. There's the wonder and magic of the first. The splendor and honor of the second. And the majesty and spectacle of the third. Of the theatrical releases, I will say though that I think ROTK was the worst and FOTR was the best. TTT was smack in the middle. But the extended editions of each were all classics. Each movie can stand alone as an epic adventure and cinematic achievement that history will remember as special.
The Two Towers
by Doc_Strange
Apr 19th, 2007
06:48:22 PM
I think it is a good middle ground to the trilogy but I think the parts Jackson included that weren't in the book were dumb and unjustified such as the two kids in the beginning that had nothing to do with the story, then Aragorn falling off the cliff with a warg only to show up in what's possibly the most "Hollywood" moment of the three films. Basically all the parts that Jackson made to the films make them a little bit weaker. I mean who didn't want to see the struggle Frodo went through after being stabbed by the ringwraith? The pain that he went through only to get to the Ford of Rivendell (by himself) on his horse, near death and yet still defiant all the while the black riders calling out to him to come back with them to Mordor. The whole scene having Arwen protecting him while racing to Rivendell was the stupidest part of all the films. Want proof? Check out the Bakshi LOTR for that very scene. It was done a thousand times better in a lesser movie. I will say though that LOTR as a whole is one of the greatest film trilogies of all time though there can be only one Return and it's of the Jedi
HARRY WHERE IS THE STORY ON SPIDEY THE MUSICAL?
by Deus Vult
Apr 19th, 2007
07:04:34 PM
LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Get ready for "Spider-Man: The Broadway Musical."

That may not be the official title, but Marvel Studios is putting the pieces together for a musical on the Great White Way starring the popular superhero.

Julie Taymor, who won Tonys for direction and costume design for the Broadway production of "The Lion King," will direct, with U2's Bono and The Edge creating new music and lyrics for the project.

Auditions are taking place, and a reading is scheduled for the summer. No dates for a Broadway opening have been set.

While the Spider-Man musical marks the first time a Marvel character has been the subject of a Broadway show, it's not the first time a superhero has hit the stage. Superman was in the spotlight of "It's a Bird, It's a Plane, It's Superman," which opened at the Alvin Theatre in 1966. Despite fairly positive reviews, it closed a few months later.

Spider-Man will next be seen on the big screen, when the third installment of the blockbuster franchise opens across North America on May 4.

Reuters/Hollywood Reporter

Gays Gotta Eat Too
by Roboteer
Apr 19th, 2007
07:56:07 PM
Even in France. Couldn't resist. But when it comes to Liz Banks, count me as a lesbian... Aunt May wouldn't last the year in France. They'd all come back from vacances in Septembre and find her mort from hyperthermia. C'est la vie. Elle était vieille enfin. And never forget... Mon aéroglisseur est rempli d'anguilles!!!!
"There can be only one Return and it's of the Jedi"
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 19th, 2007
08:06:45 PM
That's so true. Plus, naked_mandy, I also liked Back to the Future III a great deal. I love the whole Back To the Future trilogy.
Of course the LOTR movies could've been worse.
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
08:09:23 PM
Since when is that considered a credit to a film? I guess when you accept mediocrity, that's when. The films are competently made in an ocean of incompetence, that's true. My issue is that they could've been better, stronger, there could have been a heightened otherworldiness about them they were not magical enough. Of course McKellan, Holm and Bean pulled off their characters perfectly. But that Mortenson is not a great Aragorn. Bean should've been Aragorn.
Deus Vult there was a whole story dedicated
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
08:10:58 PM
to it, it's just that no one really cares so it fell off.
I wish I had gotten to go to the London screening
by Smashing
Apr 19th, 2007
08:12:47 PM
Instead of that moany reviewer, I am stoked for this film, and Spidey dancing is listed as one of his powers in a recent issue of a comic so bring it on.
Spiderman the comic awesome, the movies not so much
by 18to88
Apr 19th, 2007
08:13:04 PM
Raimi's Spiderman annoys the tar out of me, mostly how pathetic Tobey is. Terrible casting - he's such douche. I wanted to love these movies, but sadly they both rank in my top four most annoying movies: 1. Shrek 2. Shrek 2 3. Spiderman 4. Spiderman 2 5. 6. Anyone want to guess what movies I'm reserving spots five and six for?
Skull Fucker
by erikharrison
Apr 19th, 2007
08:42:23 PM
The term is "skull fucker"
18to88...
by MonteCristo
Apr 19th, 2007
09:22:02 PM
I assume 5 and 6 go to POTC: COTB and POTC: DMC?
Fine then, superninja
by Mr. Phoenix
Apr 19th, 2007
10:07:20 PM
Go make YOUR version of LOTR, since you obviously have a brilliant, intelligent, and undiscovered talent. Ocean of incompetance? Yeah, right. Your kids must think you're the COOLEST.
I love how the 2nd..
by Redfive!
Apr 19th, 2007
10:39:05 PM
Review points out at how disappointed the film is and coughs *Ratner* at the end of his review.Considering how Raimi's worst film is still better than Ratners best im thinking this dude had one too many pints going into the film and probally loves the rush hour films...CANT WAIT FOR RUSH HOUR 3 HUH?
Yeah, that logic never fails to amaze me.
by superninja
Apr 19th, 2007
10:40:41 PM
You have to go make your own movies to have a critical eye. Because you know, when you make comments about anything, you have to have actually done it yourself to have an opinion.
Ugh
by SgtFretSurfer
Apr 19th, 2007
10:49:09 PM
Damn I must be deficient because I really liked X-Men 3. And I praise the work Singer did on the first two. I just love them all, really. But on Spidey, this is the kind of movie I wanna see in the theater. I like having things like this to look forward to as an event to plan for going to the movies. Popcorn, soda, crowds, all of it. I just wanna have a good time at the movies. ;;
I like this movie, so I am better than you
by INWOsuxRED
Apr 20th, 2007
12:27:37 AM
You like a movie I don't like, so you are wrong about everything.

I hope no other tentpole American movie ever releases in other countries first. The foreign reviews coming in first just aren't right for an American icon. Most of my fears about this movie seem to be hit on by the reviews, to the point where I have very low expectations, which will be fulfilled by the effects alone. I know this movie will be great because Dunst is in it.
I still say..
by Resurrected
Apr 20th, 2007
12:40:02 AM
..that Spiderman couldn't be any gayer even if he stiched his costume out of rainbow flags. It's unbelievable the hilarity that came from all the "Oh, how do I get MJ to like me?" While snaggletooth was getting double teamed by Harry & the astronaut.
YES!!!
by Style_92
Apr 20th, 2007
12:57:48 AM
The tide has turned! The Legion of Talkbackers now hate Sam Raimi, Tobey Maguire, and the Spider-man franchise! Vindication is mine! LET THE SLAUGHTER BEGIN!
"The JOKER" on set pic
by The Artist FKA Vesuvio
Apr 20th, 2007
01:04:42 AM
In other news, you're welcome (despite the crappy quality of the photo) ... www.tinyurl.com/3ck4do
Nice Joker pic, there. Too bad AICN won't give props
by Doctor_Sin
Apr 20th, 2007
01:06:22 AM
But, we, the viewers, thank you.
Oh, and also
by The Artist FKA Vesuvio
Apr 20th, 2007
01:07:26 AM
Here http://tinyurl.com/3yjpza , and here http://tinyurl.com/33n2dx .
X-men "close to a brilliant brilliant trilogy"?!
by Devil By The Deed
Apr 20th, 2007
02:42:46 AM
Part one and that cockamanie "turn everyone into mutants" scheme was almost as lame as the third one. I betcha Singer does the same with Superman and the sequel is way better than the first.
FIRST PIC OF LEDGER AS THE JOKER
by bomardv
Apr 20th, 2007
03:46:07 AM
http://tinyurl.com/yu2num
Smashing...
by Lightwave7871
Apr 20th, 2007
04:42:43 AM
Moany reviewer eh? Hey ho thats your opinion based on a movie you haven't fucking seen... Sam Rami, Sony and Marvel bless you for your blind devotion and would like you to go buy a ticket to every showing because you love the film already... Also if you could just write a review now that says "Wooo fuck yeah Best. Movie. EVAH!!!" that would be fantastic.... Its interesting though that more issue has been raised about my choice of "weak" chapters than about the fact that Spiderman 3 might actually not be that good... And for the record, for the third time, I'm not saying they're bad films per se, simply not as good as the others in the series, its a relative thing... I'd still watch Two Towers over Spiderman 3 any day, but conversely I liked Spiderman and the sequel so, you know its an opinion...
Superman Returns
by Mixlexic
Apr 20th, 2007
06:40:40 AM
Saw it in the cinema and was unimpressed, Watched it yesterday on DVD and loved it, I guess my point is that after the hype dies you watch a film on its own merits and cn be pleasantly surprised. I even found X3 tolerable on a second veiwing.
Disappointing....
by grendel69
Apr 20th, 2007
07:45:45 AM
... As I always knew including Venom/Black suit was a mistake. I never got what people saw in Venom anyway. And I though TTT wasnt a good movie either. Nothign happened until the battle of whatever. I still think the first film is the best one.
Critics Are More Common Than Water
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 20th, 2007
08:18:23 AM
And are about as valuable and as useful as moldy sacks of putrid Bonobo monkey vomit. The vast majority of critiques are malodorous, like the flatulence of a disease hippopotamus.

While it can be fun to critique and express our opinions, to pretend that it is anything other than public verbal masturbation is to way over value the filthy product of our own bowel movements, and consider the foul issuance of our narcissistic self-absorption to be the equal of an edict from the Gods.

Thus, when you piss on creative works that do extremely well by any rational yardstick--and the LOTR trilogy was hugely profitable, hugely popular, deeply satisfying to the great majority of viewers, moved tons of DVDs and special editions, and won numerous awards--what should not be surprised that, given the fact you have done almost nothing creative, productive, or worthwhile with your life, and seem to derive what little poisoned joy your small and pointless life does have by attacking the creative triumphs of others--that some will critique back, explaining that, due to the paucity of output on your part--indeed, the complete vacuum of anything productive from your life visible to us, whatsoever--that your public masturbation of your tiny and deformed critiquing rod will earn the occasion boo or catcall.

My critique of the critiques of others is complete. I have thus relieved myself. My apologies to the Bonobo monkeys.
X3 WAS better than Superman Returns
by Kal El Vis
Apr 20th, 2007
08:20:10 AM
Period.
Kevin Willis
by Mr Gorilla
Apr 20th, 2007
08:20:38 AM
Man - you're on fire! The stuff about flag-waving, and the 'American Way' (which includes, by the way, the waging of illegal wars). But it's not really fair to compare to the 70s Superman film. After all, The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) had James Bond using a Union Jack parachute - and I didn't notice much of that stuff going on in Casino Royale. Maybe because the British wage illegal wars too. My feelings come down to this: I personally hate having a flag waved in my fact when I'm trying to have a good time. (Unless, of course, it's actually relevant to the story.) Doesn't matter what flag it is. But I believe Stan Lee once went on record saying that he didn't want his heroes used for propaganda purposes - I can't find the quote on this, though, and would be happy to be put right on it.
Glad you're amazed.
by Mr. Phoenix
Apr 20th, 2007
08:31:12 AM
Kevinwillis.net said it all perfectly.
Mr Gorilla
by Kal El Vis
Apr 20th, 2007
08:35:16 AM
Just because YOU inject politics into a symbol, doesn't mean the rest of us do as well. "waging of illegal wars". Give me a break, you fucking broken record.
Dark Peter = Teen Wolf??
by Mike_D
Apr 20th, 2007
09:52:55 AM
Is that what they're saying? haha, thats priceless.
May parker: herald of cloud-lactus
by silverdog
Apr 20th, 2007
10:33:34 AM
now, that´s an spin-off worth making.....
Kal El Vis
by Mr Gorilla
Apr 20th, 2007
10:47:42 AM
Hey there - the 'waging...' sentence does sound a bit broken record, you're right about that. But to be fair, when it comes to symbols, a flag is definitely nearer the more 'political' end of the spectrum. It's a national pride thing that is often rolled out at elections at at times of war. Spielberg used the US flag at the very beginning of 'Saving Private Ryan', I'm sure you'll recall. Patton walks out in front of one at the start of, er, 'Patton'. So don't accuse me of 'injecting politics' into the issue. And baby, don't use that foul, foul language.
Political is in the eye of the beholder
by Fecal Debris
Apr 20th, 2007
12:14:47 PM
a flag is only as political or as patriotic as you make it out to be. Otherwise, it really is just a piece of colored fabric. It's people who project meaning into it. And if a flag appears in a movie in a military cemetery, it's probably not because the director wants to make a statement, but because it's a friggin movie about dead American soldiers and has a scene in a military cemetery. That's all.
Well Aint It Cool News...
by Double-Oh
Apr 20th, 2007
12:27:41 PM
that Raimi just confirmed that there will be a Spidey 4,5 and 6?
4, 5 & 6??
by nonsensical
Apr 20th, 2007
12:40:50 PM
How different will these be if Raimi and the cast aren't returning? http://tinyurl.com/2tcv7r
Oh and if this does happen...
by nonsensical
Apr 20th, 2007
12:47:51 PM
I swear to the almighty gods of hollywood that if Sam Raimi doesn't bring in Burce Campbell as Mysterio or finally turn Connors into the Lizard, I will kill his car. I mean seriously, look at the way he's mamnged to get his damn car to appear in every one of the Spidey films. I wonder if that car has its SAG card or an IMDB profile.
Spiderman Copies the Superman franchise!!!
by IG76
Apr 20th, 2007
01:09:04 PM
I- Discovers Powers/Faces Nemesis 2- Wants to give up powers/Faces Nemesis 3- Turns Bad. F**k me? Can you not see this? Go watch Superman I-IV (Yes, I said IV) because there's more heart in three seconds than this trash. Even Bruce Campbell wanted NOTHING to do with it. Suck my balls Spidergeeks!
Haha. What did kevin willis write there that actually
by superninja
Apr 20th, 2007
01:20:30 PM
meant anything? I love it when people criticise criticism, but then fail to refute the points made or add anything of their own to the discussion. That whole post is masturbatory. Of course its valid to debate the merits of anything.
IG76...
by Double-Oh
Apr 20th, 2007
01:38:02 PM
The content of the first two films occurred in the comics long before the Superman movies. And no thanks, I don't suck balls, but I'm pretty sure people who like Superman IV do.
The America Flag, The American Way
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 20th, 2007
03:14:53 PM
Was always a big part of Superman, like it or not. Not "Truth, justice . . . all that stuff." Sheesh! I have no trouble with the Union Jack in The Spy Who Loved Me. I think it would be awesome. The only thing I dislike about my favorite BBC shows than their anti-Americanism is their anti-Britishness. It's so cool and emo to hate your country. Like, gag me with a spoon.

The flag, especially, doesn't really come with a requisite political agenda or partisan viewpoint, unless you are anti-whatever-country. In which case, there are plenty of movies being made for you, but "feel good" superhero films aren't them. And Spiderman landing in front of a flag while the music swells is proganda for only on thing . . .Spiderman. And Marvel Films. Which is kind of like 2 things. But has nothing to do with Shia Labeouf, so I don't know why you even brought him up.

BTW, national pride is largely separate from a particular contemporary policy. You may think Bush's war in Iraq sucks, I may think Clinton's war is Kosovo was Bonobo monkey excretions, and yet I liked America during Clinton, took care of my flag and displayed it then, have displayed during Bush, would be displaying it during Kerry as we cut and run, if that had been the case, and will display it, with pride, under either Hillary or Obama.

As a wise man once said: "America! Fuck yeah!"
Superninja: It Is Certainly Valid to Debate The Merits
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 20th, 2007
03:20:52 PM
Of anything. Including the vacuity and substanceless of the ill-informed opinions of dilettantes. That's what gives us, as Elton John sang in some Disney movie, the circle of perpetual criticism.

Frankly, I've found all your opinions to be thoughtful and well-reasoned, and you've certainly changed my mind on a whole host of issues, from traffic laws to global warming.

And, like you, I love it when people criticize things without adding anything valid to the argument or actually refuting a single point. So you go, girrrl!
Spiderman 4,5 and 6
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 20th, 2007
03:25:52 PM
That's not exactly news. Raimi said that as early as May, 2005.

http://www.ropeofsilicon.com/n ews.php?id=2153

Also recently covered here, with Tobey saying he would do it if the right "elements" ($30-cough-million-cough-plus- hack-backend-cough) came together:

http://tinyurl.com/2kmanv
kevin, I did make a point. My point is your criticism
by superninja
Apr 20th, 2007
03:42:55 PM
arguement is a straw man.
I mean given that no one here seems to be of an
by superninja
Apr 20th, 2007
03:49:15 PM
opinion that their criticsm is anything other than just that, at what point do you get to decide that they are accomplished enough (at whatever it is they need to be accomplished at in your opinion, I'm not sure what that may be) to be able to have valid criticism on anything, much less a film?
POTC is destined to be the funnest trilogy ever
by Doc_Strange
Apr 20th, 2007
04:31:57 PM
After seeing the new trailer and having seen the previous two I believe that title is warranted for this franchise, as well it should be.
Watched Spidey 2.1
by nonsensical
Apr 20th, 2007
04:42:08 PM
Have to say... the J. Johah Jamison in the Spidey costume thwiping around his office is priceless. Absolutely priceless.

Rent it, watch it, maybe even own it.

Venom the Musical!
by canvasseamonkey
Apr 20th, 2007
04:53:53 PM
thats what i say
Superninja: So?
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 20th, 2007
07:55:58 PM
And your criticisms are tedious and pointless. Plus, even if my critique of your critique is made of straw, and your critique is made of sticks, both can be blown down by the Big Bad Wolf. It will only be the criticism made of bricks that is worthy of our attention.

If it's any consolation, I find Harry's reviews about worthless 90% of the time as well, and he's the Headgeek.

As far as creative output that you need to produce before I'd consider your critiques meaningful, you're right, that whole argument is a straw man. If you had a reasoned and thoughtful critique that showed reasonable consideration and didn't deal in a bunch of absolutes, I wouldn't care if you'd ever even written a short story (or some really solid web code). However, if you were secretly Peter Jackson (or Kevin Smith) and I found your criticism tedious, I'd ride you on it, anyway.

Sort of like, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. Just what I'm doing right now is as easy as tossing off a dozen random criticisms about a movie or book, but actually making a movie or writing a book is a great deal more involved and complicated, so nit-picking good creative work to death seems to me to be a product of irrational expectations.

As a result, I often enjoy films that most people hate or don't care for, because I do not expect miracles and I'm not looking to pick them apart, or rooting for them to fail. I even went into Ghost Rider with an open mind, and my criticism afterwards was basically, "Meh."

And I went to art school. You think I'd be more appreciative of the art of critiquing.
I Own Spiderman 2
by kevinwillis.net
Apr 20th, 2007
07:59:11 PM
It's a great superhero movie, on a dozen levels. Sure, I liked X3 only slightly less than X2, but Spiderman2 4is a brilliant movie. I'm gonna watch it again tomorrow. But I will never watch it as many times as I've seen Superman the Movie. I've seen it something over sixty times. Years ago, I could basically recite the dialog, although that ability is long gone.

Never gonna do that with the anemic Superman Returns. "Truth, justice, all that stuff." Meh and double-meh.
Superninja's arch-nemisis
by Style_92
Apr 20th, 2007
08:42:48 PM
The straw man, and an army of straw soldiers ready to misrepresent arguements. Maybe I'm employing a straw man right now! Or maybe Superninja employs straw men as fall guys by accusing others of using Straw men! Oh, the Straw-politics of it all!

But I love ya Superninja. It's Kevin Willis I don't care for, who thinks that just by being creative with how you phrase "took a shit" makes your arguement more inteligent.
Nah, I don't have an arch nemesis.
by superninja
Apr 20th, 2007
11:07:36 PM
I just think its odd to come to AICN and then bash on geeks for bashing on movies. Its the most bashingest place on the internet. It's not the geekest, though.
We do agree that Superman Returns
by superninja
Apr 20th, 2007
11:11:48 PM
should be returned. Also, I think people are generally unfair to X3. In perspective of the other films, it is a good finale. I'm not sure why people expected the scope of the Dark Phoenix saga with the two prior films being so small in scope all things considered.
I can except X3
by Style_92
Apr 20th, 2007
11:45:49 PM
as the flawed but still good finale to the X-men trilogy. But I still think it could have been better.
err, "accept X3"
by Style_92
Apr 20th, 2007
11:46:14 PM
I'm an asshole
I think they could've been better, same with
by superninja
Apr 21st, 2007
12:22:06 AM
the Spider-Man movie, same with the LOTR movies. Harry Potter 3 is a perfect movie. No complaints about that. I would like to sees Curaon direct a superhero film.
"See". Curaon direct a superhero film. I am still
by superninja
Apr 21st, 2007
12:23:34 AM
waiting for someone to make a true superhero film, enough with this realism stuff.
Harry Potter 3
by Mr Gorilla
Apr 21st, 2007
01:46:26 AM
Yesss. It IS a lovely movie. A kid's movie, but so what? So was ET. I see it getting some love on these pages, but it's interesting how much hate the Potter films get in other forums. On Emporeonline.com, for example, they all seem to hate it.
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