Seriously, I loved First Blood. It was a fantastically written and truly well realized story. I can even forgive some of the major conceits of the first sequel, in that it was the Hollywood happy ending we were all so lucky we didn't get on the original film (but, if you're being honest with yourself, you know Rambo spent the remainder of his days institutionalized and swinging between bouts of deep depression and manic rages). The third film was a colossal joke and I have no reason to believe this wouldn't be an even larger but decidedly less funny one.

Speaking of which, now that the shine's off this site's brief romance with Stallone, is anyone else willing to admit what a horribly written and just generally poorly conceived bit of self-indulgent tripe Rocky Balboa was?

Wake me up before you go go

Rambo! Rambo! Rambo!

I'll be your cash if you'll be my tango

RAAAAAAAAMMMMBOOOOO...suck my balls

Can't wait SLY!

you know better taclkbacker w/no name...

Even one of my closest friends (Whitey) has had a go at me via email. To quote:

"it's like "YOU CAN TAKE MY KILT BUT YOU CAN NEVER TAKE MY FREEDOM"

it's like "GET YOU FILTHY PAWS OFF ME YOU DAMNED DIRTY APE!"

it's like "DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!"

it's like...... THE TRUTH!

you know it bitch"

This said friend is now dead to me.

But count me among the numbers who feels Rambo needs a haircut. And I'm not down on long hair or mullets--I sported a lengthy mane back in high school and college, but cut it when long hair became too popular (around 1992). I just don't see a 60 year old Rambo with the same old hair. In fact, they should have shaved him bald, or close to it. Man, I hope this cooks like "Rocky."

I see it's more army guys shoot em ups. Awesome. I mean, CRAP! Can't he be a drifter like the original character? They gave Data an emotion chip. They should have destroyed it by the end of the film. Be gone John Bon Rambo

First blood was all about character with some great action.

or

You could be the one who doesn't see the movie reference i'm referring to.

either way you haven't answered the question.

Why would he send you an email about a lame title? There is more to this you are not telling us.

25? awwww you are still just a baby, my son.

I can see now why he deleted your posts (if he did). You are trolling.

John Rambo is just fine and is a hell of a lot better than Rambo 4. For god's sake. Th equality of the movie is far more important than the fringing title, man.

But when I finally watched it, dear lord, it made my eyes want to bleed.

Ghost Adrian was just plain insulting. To the actress and to the character. I do hope Talia got paid for the use and abuse of her visage.

Mason Dixon started as an empathetic character and a "heavy" with real potential, but he rapidly devolved into an Apollo Creed wannabe who, honestly, just didn't have the charisma Weathers brought to the original role.

Rocky himself -- a character who was borderline brain damaged the last time we saw him on screen, has so many contrived, overwritten and head-scratchingly of place monologues that I thought he was possessed by the spirit of a young Bill Murray.

And don't even get me started on the editing/internal inspirational speech during the big fight.

I ended that movie very frustrated because, like I think a lot of you saw, there was potential in that premise. I enjoyed Paulie, thoroughly. And I held off on rendering final judgement until I saw the alternate ending.

I was hoping against hope that this would be the version where Rocky dies before hearing the split decision and the last scene is his son, standing over his parents' graves, when Dixon comes and lays a championship belt in front of Balboa's tombstone...that wouldn't have fixed everything that was wrong with the movie, but it at least would've gone out on a note that lent more significance to Adrian's presence in the film (Rocky can't think of a reason to live without her except to fight, which ultimately wins him a reunion). But no. Instead the alternate ending shows me how the movie could have been even worse.

Really. I haven't felt this betrayed by the recommendations of my fellow talkbackers since Cabin Fever.

http://tinyurl.com/yvapq7

For months I'd been reading all these rave reviews of Roth's debut shitfest and I hated that movie so very much that I had to watch it again just to make sure it was as bad as it seemed.

Of course, now Cabin Fever is a guilty pleasure in that I enjoy inflicting it upon the unsuspecting just so I can savor their reactions.

I don't see Rocky Balboa becoming one of those movies for me, though. Because it really was close to being a good or at least decent movie. It just tried way too hard in all the wrong places, I thought.

This is a serious question. I asked such a question a while ago on a board about why all the hate for Alien3. People were nice and elaborated. I was too biased/blind to see what they saw. Now I understand but still love the movie. Long story short-why all the hate for Cabin Fever. I liked it a lot. I don't want to fight unlike some on these boards. I enjoy other peoples' insights and opinions; hence why I visit these boards so much. I would just like a quick blurb from either or both of you about what you feel is wrong about the movie. I know everyone hates Eli Roth, but I liked the flick. Seriously. Just curious about your reasons. I am missing something glaringly obvious. I enjoy reading what both of you say many of these borads. If you decide to reply then I say thank you in advance.

And to keep this post somewhat on topic, I loved Rocky Balboa but could pick it apart to no avail. I grew up on the Rocky films and therefore I am biased. I also grew up on Rambo and The Transformers. I am willing to throw away money on a matinee of Rambo IV/John Rambo, but I absolutely refuse to support Hasbro's/Bay's/Universal's TINO. Clearly I have no problem allowing Hollywood to insult my intellect with some of absolute guilty pleasure crap I enjoy, however there is a limit and TINO way past said limit. I still wish Rambo went back to the wandering loner a'la First Blood. The forgotten Montana Militia storyline could have been cool. Perhaps. Not sure about this one though. Thanks for reading.

I actually blame Harry most for that, as he was the one trumpeting Roth as guy who had reinvigorated horror. I knew Harry was prone to hyperbole and had demonstrated, at times, questionable taste, but he had the momentum of a lot of people agreeing with him and I went into Cabin Fever fully expecting something revolutionary and truly scary.

Instead, it was as if I were watching a movie made in a single afternoon by a bunch of drunk/stoned frat brothers who had access to a digital camera, someone's cabin and enough beer to bribe the locals to say something(anything, really) for their project.

I can't imagine there was an actual script (as that would make it even worse) but the dialogue was banal to the point of mind numbingness and the characters were clearly there for the explicit purpose of being killed off (i.e. no development whatsoever). The acting didn't help to get me to care about any of those kids. And the shots were framed in a way that indicates purely two-dimensional directive thinking (I know movies are a 2d medium, but there are ways to create the illusion of immersiveness and Roth demonstrated no understanding of or facility with these techniques).

All of that said, Cabin Fever could have been a fairly entertaining "Student Bodies"-esque spoof of a horror film, were it not for the obvious conceit of the director. Roth thought he was making a darned scary horror film with comedic undertones when, really, the only scary thing about the movie was that he thought the introduction of himself as the wandering guitar dude with the really good weed who all the chicks want to get with was going to come across as anything but wish personal (and uninteresting) wish fulfillment. The premise, while interesting and topical (in this age of bio warfare and epidemic fears) was ultimately wasted on this movie.

Oh...and the pancakes thing. Was that supposed to be funny?

Anyway, I don't mean to sound flippant or mean, but the movie was so very, very not what I was led to believe it would be.

I understand that there are people who celebrate gore for its own sake (no other redeeming features required) and I suppose it might've struck a chord with them. I also understand that getting drunk/high and seeking out the most laughably bad movie experience available can be a very enjoyable thing. But I rarely want to watch one of those movies sober or more than once.

And hey, is it just me, but is the guy who played Rocky's lawyer in Rocky V also the head of the Philadelphia Boxing Commission in Rocky Balboa? I could swear it is.

Thanks again. Take it light and keep it tight.

In other news, check out the Hasbro action figures for venom and sandman. You might want to get some jerk-off spittle on your palm all ready to go.

http://tinyurl.com/2y5ejr

John Rambo: The Last Round

I liked Rocky Balboa O.K. Still, feeling that John Rambo delivers more, K.O. or not.

Ramboy: Me Love You Long Time.

But then I hear a bunch of folks whose opinions I usually respect (I won't go casting blame witht he naming of names) talking very enthusiastically about it and some of them were even throwing around words like "artistic."

So I allowed myself to get a little pumped about it. Then my wife called me fromt he video store and said she'd heard good things about it, too, so I did my best Stallone and told her: "Go for it."

I accepted a lot of the hokem and the repeated rapings of Adrian's corpse (okay, those were figurative rapings) and the ham-fisted writing (seriously, the only good dialogue in that picture was Pauly's) because I was sure the ending would pay it all off. Then the ending was as trite and contrived as humanly possible (why in the world did we need that flash-cut, self narrated monologue at the end of the fight? Did he really think we were going to forget the totally out-of-character speech he gave his son?). And I even put off total condemnation of the thing until after watching the alternate ending (surely, I thought, this was the payoff I'd been looking for...the justification of my years of defending Stallone as an underrated writer).

I guess I should count myself fortunate they didn't go with that alternate end. Because if Rocky had actually won the fight, my fucking head would've exploded.

Maybe I just demand too much from my movies?

"Rambo--What mean 'constipated'?"

"John I told you I'd do what I could to get you out of this place. The Golden Slumbers Home for the Aged and Chronically Bewildered. The special forces don't forget their own. Unless, of course, they can no longer remember to."

"Sir, will we get to win this time?" "This time, it's up to you--do you have one of these clowns with the blue hat?" "Go fish."

"Tuh! Hrauuuuaaaaarrgghh! Sunt!"

Hostel was said 14 year old Talkbacker getting access to a very large STEREO and playing god-awful music loud enough to make the earth fold in on itself.

I haven't actually seen Rocky Balboa yet, as the whole premise put me off, and I am going to ignore this as well. Maybe Stallone will retire now he has this whole drug smuggling thing to be dealing with.

looks like it is time to change my meds again.

Oh look, glue..

that little insight into the mixed-up crazy world of Zfisk/Homewrecker is bought to you by LITHIUM: HELPINg YOU BE STABLE!

Rocky didn't speak like any Rocky we've ev er met before. He spoke like a random inspirational speech generator (which is pretty impressive, considering he was borderline brain damaged when last we left him).

And while Foreman did, indeed, win a fight in his 50s, Foreman wasn't a.) brain damaged, and b.) effectively blind in one eye as a result of taking repeated, unprotected shots to the face for five previous movies (if you look at old Foreman tapes, he was an incredibly defensive fighter, using his guard arm like a windshield wiper...brilliant, actually).

As for the repeated rape of Talia/Adrian's image, if she was going to play such an integral role in the film's story, why not just hire the actress to film some flashback sequences instead of cribbing her image a'la Brando for Superman Returns? And why not craft an ending that resonated more with her inclusion (the theatrical ending shows Rocky essentially saying so-long because he's found meaning for his life again -- I got the distinct impression he wouldn't be hanging around her graveside so often anymore and might've driven right over to the hostess' house for a quick bang after leaving the cemetery).

All of that said, I'm perfectly fine with hating the film as opposed to just finding it imperfect. I think that's an appropriate emotion for something with such potential for me to love it (really, there were the makings of a much better film in there had Stallone hired a better writer) but that utterly disappointed me throughout my relationship with it. I'm cool with feeling differently about it than you do.

works for me.

It is similar to the way that JK rowling seems to desperately need an editor (or someone to tell her that she is padding her novels out).