I really want to knosw who your suppliers are.

your only baiting anchorite anyway.

I am truly excited about this mindless popcorn flick. I even enjoyed the second installment despite all the hate out there. True old fashioned fun. Sure it's simple and sometimes, if done right, it works. I loved The Sea Hawk, Captain Blood, The Black Swan and so forth. Swashbuckling is the shit. Pirates rule. Ninjas drool.

Bourne is the man Slappy Jones!

And Orlando, if you read this page, know that I actually extremely like what you do. Loved everything except Troy, but as someone said above, that wasnt your fault. Also, dont worry, Im not gay.

It is really simple: he didn't kill Anakin because he is a complete and utter cunt. He is actually one of the biggest arseholes in film history. As proved by his behaviour in the rest of the series- sending Luke off to kill his own father, not telling Luke that he was trying to shag his sister, deliberately fucking about in the desert to ensure that the Empire had enough time to kill luke's adopted family etc.

Leaving Anakin was totally in character.

I say Richards, that way you save on the make-up. ;)

I might have to agree with other talkbackers that this will blow Spidey3 out of the water!

Pun intended.

I'm assuming Jack.

Of course, looking at Obi that way (and Yoda, who was complicit in the whole plot) really does elevate Luke at the end of Jedi. Here's a guy who rises above the manipulations of others, basically tells both factions claiming mastery of the Force to fuck right off, and engages in a little emotional manippulation of his own to win the day.

That Luke's a smart fucker by the end of the only trilogy that matters.

Obi Wan was a scared old man who didn't have the balls to finish off his "best friend" (and that friendship was never really portrayed convincingly in the prequels, he just told Luke he was a friend of his dad's like any stranger beckoning a kid into a long black sedan might) when he should have, and instead of taking on the task himself or teaming up with his other cowardly partner in crime, that pointy eared little frog fuck on Dagobah, he undertakes this elaborate deception in order to program Luke to kill his own father (by dangling Luke's own sister like a nookie treat to get him started down the "right" path).

In the process of brainwashing young Luke and loading him full of hormones and hate to be aimed at Anakin like a Force gun, Obi allows the deaths of Luke's aunt and uncle so that the boy won't have any entanglements holding him to Tatooine any more.

Then he further aggravates Luke's mounting rage toward Vader by martyring himself so that, in Luke's eyes, Vader's now killed two of his fathers.

You can try to paint that with as pretty of a brush as you can find, but that's some hard core machiavellian shit from one of the most Evil Motherfuckers in the History of the Galaxy.

About the only thing he didn'tdo was pork Padme behind Annie's back (and it kind of looked like he wanted to go there, didn't it?), which would've been totally within his established character and would've provided the perfect motive for Annie's otherwise nonsensical turn to the dark side.

Man, it gets me six kinds of emotional just THINKING about it. Sure, Maul hopped around and did backflips and whatever. But there was no more heart in that fight than in any of the entire collective 400 minutes worth of prequels. It was cool when I was in seventh grade, but looking back on it I just see a bunch of trite garbage loosely strung together with words like "Jedi" and "the Force", and that saber fight was a bunch of horseshit because nothing leading up to it made me give two shits about the people fighting it.

Rolande, in regards to your charge against Obi-wan being one of the "most Evil Motherfuckers in the History of the Galaxy", I have to admit that you make a pretty sound case. The only flaw I can find is that I always kinda figured that when Lucas wrote the whole bit about "I knew your father, Vader killed him, etc etc", that he himself didn't know he was going to make Vader be his father, or even Leia be his sister. Therefore, "from a certain point of view" would be more Lucas covering his own ass and not neccessarily the machinations of Darth-wan Kenobi. This of course is based on nothing but the rantings of my own ass. It'll be weird watching the OT again with the idea of Ben being an evil scheming fuckwad running through my head... =P

And on a topical note, this movie looks t3h r0x0rz. I've been waiting for a damn year to see Han get unfrozen-errr...

I'm sorry, can someone call 911? I believe my teeth just reached out of my mouth and bit through the back of my skull and are now eating my brainzzzzzzzzzzz..............

That's why Quicktime gives MPC a rimjob for quarters at the carwash. And fuck that squirrely little "Q" they want to stick in the corner of my screen. I fuckin' hate that little Q. What the fuck is it for? Just in case I decide I want to sit around for 3 minutes while it loads whatever piddly ass options it has (unless you want to shell out $49.99 and get the PRO version of a terribly clunky program). I'd rather just not install the bastard, but then I wouldn't be able to see ANY of this "1080p goodness" because it's ONLY in Slowtime.

It should only be used if you have a Mac, from whence the program was spawned and where it should remain, because on a Mac, like ITunes, it runs great. I, like 90% of computer users, have a PC. I'd rather not have some hackjob port of a program slowing my shit down while I read 8 different tabbed articles.

I likes my PC just fine, but it has enough flaws without Mac ports gunking up the works. Just like I like the OT without the prequel gunk clogging up the works. (oh, and he brings it back around to SW- Zing!)

BTW, if you have the ability to get fiber, GET IT. NOW! What the fuck are you waiting for? We were the first people in our entire COUNTY to sign up on the waitlist like a year ago, and we've had it for about 3 months now.

It. Is. Glorious.

Wow my ass.

Shrek is the 18th. Spidey has two whole weeks uncontested before Shrek comes out. If anything Shrek might hurt Pirates which comes out on May 26th. As for Bayformers which comes out on July 4th, this film has to compete with two films just five days before it comes out Pixar's Ratatoulle on the June 29th, Live Free or Die Hard also on the 29th, and then if it takes the top spot after the long weekend it will loose it the following week to Harry Potter on July 13th. Nevermind the fact that some movie goers actually wait until the Fourth of July holiday week to see the movies that have come out since Memorial Day and if you look at the films being released then you'll see Bayformers has some strong competition that pretty well reaches everyone.

Hostel: Part 2, Ocean's 13, and Surf's Up on June 8

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer, and Nancy Drew on June 15

DOA: Dead or Alive, and Evan Almighty on June 22

Live Free or Die Hard and Ratatouille on June 29

Sure, "you" might not want to see any of these movies at all, or you may want to see them on or near the day they come out, but not everyone does that. If you look at the position of each of the summer films, Spidey 3 is the only one in the best position to make money and will likely be the only one that is number one at the box office for more than a week. Well at least until Harry Potter which should hold the top spot until it faces the Simpson's on July 27th.

Seriously, look at what is coming out this year ans when it come out. Pirates might be hurt a little by Shrek, but I doubt it. Bayformers might not be hurt by the films that bookend it, but given that one of those is a Pixar film and the other is Harry Potter, I seriously doubt it will have the power to stand up to the competition, especially once reviews start coming in and point out how bad the story is.

Look at Batman Begins. It gave us an origin story and a great film because it took the premise and ran with it. Superman Returns should have been Superman Birthright. If you read that novel reintroduction of Superman it gives you a more human Superman, it gives you a character that has to work to earn the trust of the people and it establishes Luthor as a real villian that has more up his sleeve than a few real estate schemes. Singer missed the ball on this and he'll do it again in the next film. The issue is that he just doesn't understand Krypton's last son. He never did.

If he did then there would have been more fun in the movie and scenes where Clark throws a ball too far for the dog to go after would have seen the dog taking to the air after the ball and returning to play rough with his master. Yes, I'm saying that Krypto would have been in the film and geeks would have loved that "a boy and his dog" stuff that Krypto always has brought to he story and the character.

D'oh.

Personally.... i say give it Ratner. hahahahaha. I'm not joking.

Any exhibition of Supermanliness in that movie was basically a beat-for-beat homage to another previously existing moment in either Superman I or II.

In fact, the plot is essentially a greatest hits compilation from those movies: Luthor plans to use platetectonics to cash in on the real estate market? Check. Superman saves crashing plane/falling aircraft with Lois on board? Check. Superman is depowered? Check. Superman gets repowered and exhibits abilities completely inconsistent with previous in-film portrayals of the character (in the I & II, we're talking time travel, cellophane S and white hand lasers...here we're talking a sudden immunity to the thousands of tons of Kryptonite he's lifting above his head while another piece of it is broken off in his side). Check-a-roonie. Femme fatale has a change of heart that fucks up Lex's plans? Check.

The only original elements that Singer brought to the dance are just creepy or weird. Superman uses his X-Ray vision to peep on Lois and her new family. Wow. That's not uncomfortable or out of character at all. And Superman has a kid.

Actually, if the kid had been developed one iota, it might have been a worthwhile addition to the mythos. But the kid was literally a plot device. They should've named him MacGuffin. Seemed totally shoehorned into the picture.

Personally I think the kid was Singer's way of saying his love for Donner isn't homoerotic (I didn't see all the gay undertones in this movie that so many others claim are present), but rather like a son's love for a father. It's a nice sentiment, but it doesn't make for a good or even particularly interesting Superman movie.

reg arding this perspective argument on Obi Wan- this just doesn't stand up- if it is assumed that he becomes more of a cunt now we know the whole story, then the appropriate phrase is "more of". It is only because he is such a vile character in the OT that this is even relevant. Most of it I can deal with- not telling Luke about his parentage, deliberately letting Luke's family die etc, but the really cunty thing is the whole setting the farm boy up for incest. Every wasy I look at it that is just a despicable thing to do.

Mind you, having said that, perhaps he just assumed that incest was the bored yokel farmkid equivalent of board games. Stick to scrabble, kid, it's less psychologically damaging.

and he is such a cunt that he would have kicked padme's back door in and stolen her wallet on the way out.

That's some cold shit to pull on a farm kid who hasn't even had a piece of tail from the Mos Eisley brothel yet.

I bet Luke was a furious masturbator before and throughout the OT. Just look at the angry was he handles a lightsaber.

And yes, the plane sequence is the only good part from Superman Returns. I see no reason why the second one by Singer will be any better.

I bet it didn't even feel like his hand any more.

Rubbing th elittle bantha

Feeding the sarlacc

Testing out the new hand

Feeling the Force

Flogging the Ewok

Walking the Wookie

Changing the focusing crystal on the lightsaber

Raping your childhood (actually, that one's just for Lucas' use)

Yanking the Yoda

Giving Jar Jar a beat-down

Thinking about your sister

Going to the Toshi Station to pick up some power converters

Bulls-eyeing the womp-rat

Tugging the Tusken Raider

Searching your feelings

Making the Kessel Run

Polishing Palpy's cane

Charming the Dagobah snake

Holding Vader's leash

Sorry about that. Credit where credit's due.

;)

constructing the technology terror

stroking the scruffy nerf-herder

releasing the anger

plugging the hyperdrive

shining the bucket of bolts

As for arguing with one's self, might "Anchorite vs. BSB" also be a euphemism for "jumping to lightspeed?"

Ain't no way BSB and anchorite are the same TB'er.