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Remake who? DOLEMITE, mutha f***a!!!

There is absolutely, positively... by MCVamp	Mar 19th, 2007 01:24:37 AM
No way this will live up to the original. BAD BAD BAD idea. This will make the crappy SHAFT remake look like Citizen Kane.
Rudy Ray the only Dolomite by ShiniGamiSan	Mar 19th, 2007 01:27:45 AM
Another cheap Hollywood remake. There was a time and place for this movie. Most people don't know who Dolomite even was.
I'm 40% Dolomite by Monkey Butler	Mar 19th, 2007 01:28:48 AM
nt
as long as there is a... by datachasm	Mar 19th, 2007 01:44:17 AM
... scene where Dolemite is doing Kung-Fu in his green underoos... lol. as long as they leave Petey Wheatstraw alone... who cares? Rudy Ray Moore could probably use the paycheck. i guess Sam Jackson can make a fool of himself in this one like he did in Shaft. i love the commentary in Rudy Ray Moore movies... evidently him and his crew stole everything to make the movies, they stole film stock, the cars they ride around in, etc etc.
Just give Aries Spears a pimp cane and you've got it. by thelivingdoll	Mar 19th, 2007 01:55:52 AM
His Mad-Tv ripoffs were great.
I saw Rudy Ray perform live two days ago by Vern	Mar 19th, 2007 02:19:31 AM
It was his 80th birthday. He broke his hip so he was on an electric cart. I think he's losing his memory but he still has that voice, and nobody can match that voice. Funny thing is I was talkin to somebody about how they were gonna remake it with LL Cool J years ago. And I was glad that one died. But maybe just by saying it out loud I unleashed some kind of evil Petey Wheatstraw magic. Sorry Dolemite, I fucked up.
WTF is "Dolomite"? by Mike_D	Mar 19th, 2007 02:22:32 AM
...I probably just gave a good reason why they should remake it.
Dear God Heaven, Do we really need this! by The Founder	Mar 19th, 2007 02:22:53 AM
Good lord we don't.
An army of topless Kung Fu bitches (With machine guns) by Beastmanseventy	Mar 19th, 2007 02:28:43 AM
Will never happen, not in today's cinematic environment... Well, maybe if Grindhouse sets the new benchmark by going NC17, but I'm kind of expecting Tarantino and Rodriguez to puss out on that.
When I See A Ghost... by buster00	Mar 19th, 2007 02:48:39 AM
I CUT the muthafucka.
Quick! Philbrick! by DocPazuzu	Mar 19th, 2007 02:51:43 AM
Call that Jerry Butler fella those Talking Back guys seem to want for that Snakes in New York picture! I smell a solid gold hit!
"Check out this good sh*t..." by Charlie & Tex	Mar 19th, 2007 02:56:16 AM
This really is a bad idea. Granted, a few generations have passed since Mr Moore kicked arse with the fury of a Human Tornado, which usually tells a studio exec bereft of ideas that it's ripe for a remake, but Moore was everything to the role - as it was said above, look what happened with the remake of Shaft. Having said that, when Tim Burton's Planet of the Apes was being hyped before its release, it was depressing how many people on the net were unaware of POTA in all of its other forms. Still, with a new Dolemite, do you think political correctness will let them get away with such lines as Moore's meditation on the differences between being single and marriage: "Like the bathtub said to the toilet: I get as much ass as you, but I don't have to take all that shit...".
Dolemite? WTF???? by Motoko Kusanagi	Mar 19th, 2007 03:20:06 AM
???
That substance that won't cop out... by Oozer3993	Mar 19th, 2007 03:34:57 AM
when there's heat all about!
GERARD BUTLER TO STAR IN DOLEMITE REMAKE by MaxCalifornia.	Mar 19th, 2007 03:40:10 AM
I dunno, I think Jamie Foxx could do it if they need a star.
Will DOLEMITE be a TRIUMPH??? by knightrider	Mar 19th, 2007 04:16:27 AM

You see, It's stupid shit like this... by glodene	Mar 19th, 2007 05:07:04 AM
that makes me swig down a whole bottle of Maddog 20/20, jump in my Cadillac and chase after me some white wimen. What makes these fools feel so compelled to fuck up my fond memories of growing up in the 70's by doin' this bullshit. Btw, Vern, did Rudy happen to do his recital of The Signafied Monkey? I remember seeing him perform it at the Blueberry Hill Nightclub around 1976 while shooting The Disco Godfather. Ahh the memories of afros, daishikis and ice cold bottles of Annie Green Springs Wine. Yesss Lawsy.
Dolemite makes Shaft look like by kingoflight	Mar 19th, 2007 06:16:45 AM
pee wee herman ! DOLEMITE !
Its Dolomite, Baby by Col. Tigh-Fighter	Mar 19th, 2007 06:40:33 AM
Prof. Hubert Farnsworth. The only dolomite I know. "Professor...Lava...Hot!"
I just hope this means they'll finally clone Seymour! by chrth	Mar 19th, 2007 06:54:55 AM

Dave Chappelle for Dolemite by triplefive	Mar 19th, 2007 07:17:18 AM
you rat soup eatin' muthaFUCKAS!
Move out the way.... by davedogg4	Mar 19th, 2007 07:25:32 AM
...and let me pass before I put my hushpuppies up in your ass!
Vern, did he do his nasty alphabet routine? by Lance Rock	Mar 19th, 2007 07:43:30 AM
"P is for Pussy! That I like to eat!" etc. Ah, the memories...
I should direct this. by blackmantis	Mar 19th, 2007 07:54:04 AM
http://www.pixultronik.com/bmt railer1.mov
the human tornado by rdsxfan8	Mar 19th, 2007 08:18:26 AM
"i bet you think i didnt do all my own stunts. let me rewind that for ya" yeah thats what up MOFO's
Is he the pimp? by kilik777	Mar 19th, 2007 08:47:17 AM
Which pimp is the one who has the see through shoes and fish swimming around in them? http://tinyurl.com/pv8do
DON'T DO IT!!! by BobParr	Mar 19th, 2007 08:51:51 AM
I remember seeing both Dolomite movies in the 80s on video. What really made it work for me was you got the feeling that Rudy Ray Moore really thought he was as bad as Dolomite. He was unattractive, overweight, and unathletic but he sold himself as a shirtless ninja-pimp. He had no shame. It was hilarious. How can you spoof something like that? If they try to play it straight and get some good looking, buff actor it will be pointless.
No Way by jazzbox2	Mar 19th, 2007 09:13:58 AM
Dolemite was so of its time that it can't be done today. It already exists. They should just reissue the original films in deluxe editions.
I'm with you BobParr by Spandau Belly	Mar 19th, 2007 09:16:57 AM
Whoever thought that movie up didn't think too hard. They just went with what was in their gut and ran! I know Dolemite does some poetry stuff and that Rudy had a lot to do with that, but his lyrical abilities couldn't compensate for his lack of action skills. Maybe they should get Segal for the remake, he's fat, he looks absurd trying to do action, he could do jazz music instead of raps, and I get the feeling he thinks he's pretty bad too. Segal has already played Natives, Mexicans and every other ethnicity....why not blacks?
If it's gotta be done... by wetzello	Mar 19th, 2007 09:37:00 AM
...which it doesn't, mind you, then ya gotta get Paul Mooney for Dolemite. I don't think this material should be touched, IMHO. But if you're gonna ruin it and Chappelle it up, Charlie Murphy can only be Willie Green and Chappelle makes a cameo as the Creeper, stumbling and all.
Cotton drawers by Otto Parts	Mar 19th, 2007 10:18:03 AM
Rudy Ray Moore is Dolemite, and Dolemite is Rudy Ray Moore---that's all there is to it. A remake would be infuriating to fans and baffling to non-fans. To paraphase the man himself, "Take this cheap motherfuckin idea and wipe your ass with it!"
kilik 777 by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Mar 19th, 2007 10:26:26 AM
I think you're referring to Fly Guy from I'm Gonna Get You Sucka who was played by Antonio Fargas AKA Huggy Bear. Sucka was an awesome spoof of all blaxploitation films. By the way, check out 'Mo Money, and The Great White Hype for some great Dolemite references.
amen, Jazzbox 2 by SkeletonParty	Mar 19th, 2007 11:07:16 AM
The already have the original Dolemite movie. Can't they just digitally remaster it for the big screen and re-release it? I never got a chance to see Dolemite in the theater because, y'know, I was five years old at the time. I've only seen video. Don't remake this, re-release it.
Dolemite was awesome because it didn't work... by Pdorwick	Mar 19th, 2007 11:20:22 AM
Seriously. Dolemite is one of the greatest bad movies of all time, "bested" - arguably - by only Plan Nine From Outerspace. Don't remake this unless you let the fine folks at MadTV do a feature length version of their hilarious Dolemite sketch.
Fuck this idea by wash	Mar 19th, 2007 11:25:07 AM
Bitch, are you for real? And D2: Human Tornado is one of the best "bad" movies ever.
finally by rdsxfan8	Mar 19th, 2007 11:50:57 AM
most of the people i know have no idea who the fuck dolemite is so when I mention or make references to "the human Tornado" and stuff they look at me like im some crazy ass cracker. and to directly quote the man himself "I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is back on the scene! I'm gonna let 'em know that Dolemite is my name, and fuckin' up motha fuckas is my game! "
Charlie Murphy! by R.C. the "Wise"	Mar 19th, 2007 11:52:48 AM
Would be big!
Remaking Dolemite - Hah! by Dark Knight Lite	Mar 19th, 2007 11:56:09 AM
Can't be done.
robbedzombie, were you for real? by liljuniorbrown	Mar 19th, 2007 12:06:53 PM
Or did i miss the sarcasm? Just curious. Anyways Charlie Murphy is Dolemite plain and simple.
But who's playing Creeper? by SPECTRE007	Mar 19th, 2007 12:07:11 PM
Nobody has the ability to remake this beautifully bad flick. It's pure shit gold. The remake has to feature boom mikes in shots, pulled punches that miss by a foot, extra long ghetto poetry recitals, naked white chicks, and the greatest insult ever: "You ratsoup eatin', born insecure Muthaf*cka!!"
Dolemite IS Rudy Ray Moore by Harry Weinstein	Mar 19th, 2007 12:11:51 PM
And Rudy Ray Moore IS Dolemite. There's no way this could ever work. If anyone's going to remake DOLEMITE in a way that's true to the original, it'll be some kid on YouTube.
"There's nothin' in my trunk, mayn!" by wetzello	Mar 19th, 2007 12:23:26 PM

"Put your weight on it!" by Dollar Bird	Mar 19th, 2007 12:23:31 PM
I guess I shouldn't be astounded that someone wants to remake this movie. But I guess if it has legs, Hollywood wants to do it again. But the guys/gals who wrote above were right: that movie and all of Moore's work are such products of their time that to translate them for modern eyes would take all of the good stuff out. Why not just make a movie in the same vein, but just as ridiculously bad-ass and name it something new, like "Diamond Cougar" or "Sun-sploder". One of my old college roommates loved RRM's stuff and had a gigantic poster of the man dressed as Uncle Sam for Dolomite 2. But our favorite was "Avenging Disco Godfather." We must have quoted that movie a zillion times. "What IS angel dust?"
Yes by Vern	Mar 19th, 2007 12:24:10 PM
He did the Signifyin' Monkey and the alphabet. Signifyin' was kind of a shortened version though, and alphabet he kept forgetting what letter he was on. It was kind of sad. The thing about this is, Rudy Ray was a comedian financing his own movie based around his material. So without him it doesn't make any sense. It's not a timeless tale with universal themes, it's a Rudy Ray Moore vehicle. So it's kind of like remaking, I don't know, Rumble in the Bronx without Jackie Chan.
Doing Dolemite without Rudy Ray Moore... by wetzello	Mar 19th, 2007 12:27:14 PM
...would be like doing a remake of that Blind Melon video without the bee girl.
Brought to you by the Hollywood Asperger's Velvet Mafia by Samuel Fulmer	Mar 19th, 2007 12:38:55 PM
in 3-D!!!!
Dolemighty Morphin Mutha Fuckas by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Mar 19th, 2007 12:59:40 PM
Whoever thought up this remake needs to kick their own ass twice each day.
or like doing Out for Justice with Steven Seagal by triplefive	Mar 19th, 2007 01:04:09 PM
how about a Son of Dolemite (so we can still have old add Rudy Ray out there)
Why bother? by 5thBusiness	Mar 19th, 2007 01:28:43 PM
I can't remember exactly if it was Dolemite, Disco Godfather or what (it's been a few years and they all blend together in a wonderful way) but there's a scene where he's going down a list of all the bad-asses who are after him when he gets to "Betty, one of the nation's most notorious shoplifters!". The person who made the comment about it being like "Plan 9" is right on. The movies are about as bad as anything you can imagine, but the fact that everyone is obviously having so much fun, and that Moore is taking himself seriously as an action star is priceless. That kind of stuff is impossible to reproduce. To remake Dolemite, in my mind, would be to start from scratch.
Only Aries Spears can make this work. by Christopher3	Mar 19th, 2007 01:35:19 PM
His Dolemite sketches were great.
Screw Dolomite! by BillyPilgrim	Mar 19th, 2007 01:46:32 PM
Bring back the Disco Godfather!!! Attack the "Wack"!
HEY PEOPLE WHO WENT TO THE POTC THING by Hyphin	Mar 19th, 2007 01:54:45 PM
...how was it This site hasnt posted anything.... Trailer thoughts?
Vern, good analogy... by MC Vamp	Mar 19th, 2007 02:03:12 PM
One could also say it's like a remake of "The Song Remains the Same" featuring Nickelback.
Hey Hollycrap..Get an Elvis Impersonater by Samuel Fulmer	Mar 19th, 2007 02:30:49 PM
to star in a remake of Jailhouse Rock.
To play off Monkey Butler's Futurama quote... by MC Vamp	Mar 19th, 2007 02:56:37 PM
This movie won't even be 40% Dolemite!
Robin Harris would've been great! by S-Mart shopper	Mar 19th, 2007 03:04:26 PM
Without a doubt he WAS Dolomite!
Julius Carry could pull it off... by S-Mart shopper	Mar 19th, 2007 03:07:10 PM
SHONUFF!!
bitch, bring me my piece... by DaLynchMob79	Mar 19th, 2007 03:20:37 PM
to the little kids in the forum not familiar with the Human Tornado, either get a clue or shut the fuck up.
Surprised Quentin Tarantino isn't directing by moto	Mar 19th, 2007 03:48:57 PM
Nothing scared me more than QT's recent Sci-Fi channel promo for Grindhouse when he said that they could just keep making these grindhouse movies forever... kung fu, blaxpoitation, etc. Please no. Please. Do some original work ala RD and Pulp Fiction... PLEASE!!!!
The screen name says it all. by DiscoGodfather	Mar 19th, 2007 03:50:19 PM
I have too many great memories associated with Rudy Ray and "Dolemite" to let them be cheapened by this crap. I won't support it.
A pumped up Anthony Anderson! by Big Bad Clone	Mar 19th, 2007 04:42:48 PM
I know, I know, but look at him on The Shield "The next time I tell you to suck my dick, you ask 'You want me to tickle your balls as well?'"
Dolemite Explosion by Vern	Mar 19th, 2007 05:23:37 PM
At the show, Rudy Ray was hyping up another one called Dolemite Explosion, which is actually going to be playing at a film festival here. There's a date and flyers and everything. I don't think it's a new incarnation of Return of Dolemite, I think it's another one, but I don't really know for sure.
Never heard of Dolemite, either... by TheGhostWhoLurks	Mar 19th, 2007 06:34:58 PM
And I thought I'd seen most of the classic blaxploitation flicks. Now that Futurama episode takes on far deeper meaning — as well as explains Bender's love for malt liquor. If they'e gonna do a remake of the film, sounds like Bernie Mac should play the character, if they're going for an overweight goof who thinks he's the black man's answer to "A Man Called Flint."
the bathub and the toilet by rdsxfan8	Mar 19th, 2007 06:47:43 PM
"what did the tub say to the toilet???? I get more ass than you and i dont have to take all that shit." this is such a classic balcksploitation. its sad that the only way most people are gonna hear about it is when the remake comes out cuz to truly enjoy it ya gotta see it with ruby ray. HE is the only man fit enough to ever play that role. although I do agree with people on here saying charlie murphy could do it too. I have been reading this TB all day and just popped in "the human tornado" on dvd ( god bless the walmart $5 bin) good times my friends , good times fo sho
btw by rdsxfan8	Mar 19th, 2007 06:51:25 PM
Im hip to dolemite cuz "I speak Jive"
can ya tell I love this movie by rdsxfan8	Mar 19th, 2007 06:58:01 PM
"he think he bad, aint got no class, Im a run this shotgun up his moutherfuckin ass!!!!"
he's real? lol by Bouncy X	Mar 19th, 2007 07:49:39 PM
i didnt know this was a real movie. my only reference for dolemite is those sketchs madtv used to do and i always thought those were just spoofs on the whole blaxploiation thing...didnt realize it was a real movie...wow the things you learn on the net. lol
Dolemite is King. by super Cucaracha	Mar 19th, 2007 08:05:19 PM
Hung out with Eazy-E and that my friends makes him coooler than he already was.
I loved Rudy Ray on Big Daddy Kane's early 90's album by S-Mart shopper	Mar 19th, 2007 10:48:15 PM
some classic and funny Dolemite material wedged in between the tracks.
You can't go wrong with a Dolemite remake... by BurnHollywood	Mar 19th, 2007 11:36:24 PM
...Because the originals were so fucking awful! The MadTV sketches probably had twenty times the production values. If Uwe Boll remade it, it would still be an improvement...now that's saying something.
Gerard Bulter as Dolemite by DarfurOnTheRocks	Mar 20th, 2007 07:51:26 AM
Hey it could work...
Big Daddy Kane v Dolemite by wetzello	Mar 20th, 2007 08:19:24 AM
For all to behold and wonder...classic, classic, classic! http://tinyurl.com/38qjqz
Pootie Tang vs Dolemite by sudsp	Mar 20th, 2007 09:49:38 AM
Lance Crouther has got to be in this film. It's the 'bad' that this needs to be BAAAD
ODMB by rdsxfan8	Mar 20th, 2007 12:34:35 PM
yup i told you, behold the power of the hidden gems in the $5 bin. I was so excited that day, i even bought some other movies. But Im afraid to say what they are for fear or reprecussions for my taste in crappy movies. ( cough cough, ROADHOUSE, and THE REPLACEMENT KILLERS)
Remake Dynomite! by Aphex Twin	Mar 20th, 2007 01:15:26 PM
I miss that game...anyone else have fun squashing whoever was sucker enough to be player 2?
I mean Remake Gyromite! by Aphex Twin	Mar 20th, 2007 01:16:08 PM
Edit function Harry....PLEASE
Sam Jackson for Dolemite by sfezfilms	Mar 20th, 2007 01:40:09 PM
Mutha Fucka!
Gary Coleman becomes Dolemite! by Mundungus	Mar 20th, 2007 10:45:33 PM
Oh, how I want to see him in his little pimp suite.
Mike Tyson by CuervoJones	Apr 1st, 2007 01:47:17 PM
Son of Dolemite.

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Remake who? DOLEMITE, mutha f***a!!!

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