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Come on Mori...
by Boba Fat
Mar 13th, 2007
04:44:34 AM
You know what to think of it. "Another crappy remake" of a much cherished film.
Those are some BIG shoes to fill
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
04:45:55 AM
Very few people own a role like Kurt Russell owns Snake Plissken, so taking over that one will be hard. I don't have a problem with a remake, because I think it's a solid concept that can stand reinterpretation, but I feel for the guy playing Snake. That's like trying to step in as Indiana Jones or something.
Also on the downside
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
04:48:59 AM
I suppose this means there's no chance of the mooted Escape From Earth, which I always hoped Russell and Carpenter would pull off before they got too old.
"I! AM! SNAKE! PLISSKEEEENNN!!!"
by DocPazuzu
Mar 13th, 2007
04:51:03 AM
Doesn't really work, does it? All kidding aside, I do like Butler but I cannot possibly convey how much I loathe the idea of an EFNY remake. This TB is going to be brutal...
Cue...
by DocPazuzu
Mar 13th, 2007
04:54:46 AM
...a host of previously unheard of talkbackers saying: "No, srsly dudes, let's give this a shot -- it sounds really cool!"
Why bother with a remake...
by kingrobot
Mar 13th, 2007
04:55:40 AM
Does Escape From New York actually need a remake? The action was decent, the effects were decent and the performances memorable. It still stands up as a rip-roaring action movie today.
No, No, No, No, No.
by Azazyel
Mar 13th, 2007
04:57:16 AM
Gerard Butler is a great actor, but a remake just isn't needed. New stories maybe, but with Metal Gear Solid in the works, would it be enough anyway?
Kingrobot
by Boba Fat
Mar 13th, 2007
04:57:38 AM
And Carpenters score was one of his best. They'll get Rob Zombie to do the new one
At least they are remaking a crappy movie this time
by Rupee88
Mar 13th, 2007
04:57:55 AM
The original was too campy and rather worthless. So maybe they can take the same basic premise and make something entertaining with it.
I HEARD HE WAS DEAD!
by marathonman2
Mar 13th, 2007
05:00:07 AM
Assault on Presinct 13? The Fog? Halloween? The Thing?... Now Escape? These films were perfect to start with! Why noy try remaking some of Carpenters lesser classics and leave these masterpieces unsoilled?
Could go either way
by Gwai Lo
Mar 13th, 2007
05:02:54 AM
I don't think the original is perfect (still love it) and don't think Gerard Butler is at Kurt Russell levels of badassery yet (he was still great as Leonidas). This could go either way. I am a little bit tired of all these films being remade, and agree with the poster that said they'd rather see Escape From Earth. Even though chances are that movie doesn't have a great chance of success what with Carpenter's recent track record and Russell's age.
Escape from Remakes
by Captain RawBeard
Mar 13th, 2007
05:12:39 AM
Why dont they just make the 3rd Film - I know Kurt Russell is getting on a bit but he still would be good as an aging grey haired Snake Plisskin. Instead of remaking The Thing they do a sequel instead of tarnishing the original.
Oh come on...
by fanboy71
Mar 13th, 2007
05:13:22 AM
Russel was flabby and exceptionally un-soldier-like in the original. I'd like to see EFNY remade. Maybe this time Snake can be the bad ass he was talked up to be the first time around.
Moritz is a worry
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
05:21:12 AM
As I said before, I am cautiously optimistic about a remake. That said, this Moritz guy churns out garbage like nobodies business. SWAT, XXX, Stealth, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Torque, The Skulls, etc. The best this guy's ever done is enjoyable garbage, which doesn't seem like a good fit for an Escape remake.

Still, I suppose we should be grateful he hasn't cast Paul Walker as Snake Plissken.

One the one hand, FUCK NO!!! On the other...
by SherlockMonk
Mar 13th, 2007
05:21:21 AM
I can see some great possibilities.
"Socko bow"!!! What the fuck is a socko bow????
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
05:26:44 AM
Seriously, Variety needs to get a new thesaurus. It's like a teen girls club, coming up with secret words like 'skein'! As for another bloody remake, all of the Carpenter inspired ones are awful (with the possible exception of AoP13). And with Neal Moritz involved.....oh......lord..... .no!
Kurt could still play it - new film, not remake
by filmcoyote
Mar 13th, 2007
05:33:18 AM
No, no, no. Butler is okay, nothing special but for one thing Kurt is Snake, plain and simple. You want to remake EFNY then have a new central character. Secondly why remake it? It still stands up today, along with Halloween and The Thing. Now I love The Fog, They Live, Big Trouble in Little China and Assault On Precinct 13 but they haven't dated as well. They are still great but i can see how a different, interesting approach could be made. But they should learn from what's already happened. Assault remake played with the premise, made crucial changes, it wasn't just a straight remake and it worked okay. It wasn't great like the original but it was an okay film. The Fog they went for a straighter remake and it was one of the most painful cinema experiences in recent years. If they want to revisit Snake they should bring back Kurt and JC otherwise leave it alone. Oh, and while it looked awesome on screen 300 was tedious, where was the tension? where was the sense of peril? Wasted opportunity was really looking forward to that.
you gotta be fuckin´ kidding
by CuervoJones
Mar 13th, 2007
05:33:27 AM
Producers of Hollywood: Stop remaking Carpenter´s movies and let him direct a western.
Aybody see the French Film District 13?
by Boba Fat
Mar 13th, 2007
05:38:19 AM
They did a pretty good version of EFNY though the english dub is laughable. Watch it with subtitles. I've got an idea, why not set the remake in L.A? Think of the possibilities ;)
No no no no no no no...
by Sledge Hammer
Mar 13th, 2007
05:42:01 AM
And NO. This is a bad idea any way you cut it. Besides which, we already had a slicked up studio big budget remake, it was called Escape From L.A.

No Carpenter, no Russell, no real Snake, and no real point. Give us one final sequel with an aged Russell under the eye patch, or else just leave it be.

Crazy idea here, but how about instead of making fucking remakes of all of Carpenter's films before the man is even in the grave, we give him an actual budget and a chance to make an all new film before we've lost the man forever? I'd hate for those Masters Of Horror episodes to be the last things he left us with, that would just be all kinds of wrong.

kurt is not that old
by BadMrWonka
Mar 13th, 2007
05:42:43 AM
he's in a new tarantino action film for fuck's sake...at least wait 10 years before you remake it...or how about wait til the film is 40-50 years old, that's the golden number. hell you might make a better film if you're in that area (read: ocean's 11, thomas crown affair).
THIS IS INSANITY!
by BannedOnTheRun
Mar 13th, 2007
05:43:50 AM
THIS...IS...HOLLYWOOD!
remakes better than the original?
by BadMrWonka
Mar 13th, 2007
05:48:09 AM
it's a good question...how many remakes were actually better than the original? criteria: title does not have to be the same if the film is obviously a remake, but simply having a big connection does not count (la jette and 12 monkeys, would not count, for example...fistfull of dollars and yojimbo, would count).

I'll start off with Oceans 11 and Thomas Crown Affair. ocean's, well, because the original is not very good. and thomas crown, because, as much as I love steve mcqueen, the original is SO long and drawn out, the remake has a GREAT soundtrack, fairly interesting heists, and just great nuances.

so come on guys...any remakes better than the original?

Worst idea in the history of bad ideas
by NachoNegro
Mar 13th, 2007
05:52:35 AM
One question leaps to mind. Why? Kurt Russell is Snake. Snake is Kurt Russell. This is going to be an utter abortion. The fact that Butler is even touching this proves to me he's a buttfaced hack.
By The Way...
by TheRealMoriarty
Mar 13th, 2007
05:53:05 AM
I'm not endorsing this idea. I'm just throwing it up there. Frankly, I'm still in shock over (A) not realizing how inevitable this remake was and (B) the fact that it's really happening.
Enough of this bullshit.
by Ulysses31
Mar 13th, 2007
05:53:50 AM
Enough of this bullshit. Even the suggestion of a remake turns my stomach. Granted, Carpenter's more recent efforts in film haven't been the best but, in my opinion, without Carpenter and Russell there shouldn't be another Snake Plissken movie. Looking at the stills from Grindhouse, all Kurt needs is an eye-patch and the offer to get back in the saddle.
If they must remake it, then please...
by jollysleeve
Mar 13th, 2007
06:05:16 AM
....just have the guy play a different character. Keep the same concept and overall storyline, but just have him play a different character, one who serves the same function that Russell did in the original.
NO MORE FUCKING REMAKES!! SERIOUSLY, ENOUGH!!!
by Blarney-Man
Mar 13th, 2007
06:09:15 AM
Jesus Christ, I am so fucking tired of going to see films where I know the story, characters, ending already. I am sick of adaptations, sequels and fucking remakes.
BadMrWonka
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
06:09:56 AM
I'll go with Cronenberg's The Fly, Carpenter's own The Thing, The Departed, possibly Philip Kaufman's version of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers. I would also like to piss off my fellow Englishmen by suggesting The Italian Job, which was really a piece of crap to start with.
BadMrWonka
by NachoNegro
Mar 13th, 2007
06:10:42 AM
There are very few films in that list. The only example I can think of, of a remake that was demonstratably better than the original in every way, was 'The Thing', by none other than Carpenter himself. Carpenter made another good remake - Assault On Precinct 13. Great film - but whether it was better than Rio Bravo is arguable. However The Thing is a slam dunk.
Fuck! Kurt Russell would still be bad ass!
by Dr_Zoidberg
Mar 13th, 2007
06:14:42 AM
So why bother recasting? Sucks the shit all these remakes of films I saw as a kid growing up, makes me feel old. Fucking no originality.
Also, don't forget Heat
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
06:15:06 AM
Michael Mann remaking himself. No remakes means no Heat, which would be a very bad thing.
Hey, Scarface!
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
06:17:55 AM
Okay, I'll stop now.
Better remakes...
by Sledge Hammer
Mar 13th, 2007
06:25:52 AM
The Thing. The Fly. Scarface. Heat. Casino Royale. Ben-Hur. The Bourne Identity. Yep, that's about it methinks.

I mean there are quite a few films that I would consider quite worthy remakes, without being necessarily out and out "better" than the originals - War Of The Worlds, Cape Fear, Dawn Of The Dead, Assault On Precinct 13, The Magnificent 7, A Fistful Of Dollars, The Thomas Crown Affair, The Departed, The Manchurian Candidate, Invasion Of The Body Snatchers, 1984, The Quiet American, Sorcerer, (the Vincent Price) House Of Wax, Insomnia, Payback, Vanilla Sky, Man On Fire, Solaris, Lolita, Nosferatu, True Lies, The Vanishing, Willard, etc. - but the actual list of remakes that truly and clearly outshone their origins is pretty damn thin really, at least from where I'm sitting.

Damn you Michael Bay
by MCMLXXVI
Mar 13th, 2007
06:29:17 AM
Damn you Michael Bay
MCMLXXV is a tosser forever
by Seph_J
Mar 13th, 2007
06:30:15 AM
You can quote me on that.
Oh people liked film X... lets remake it...
by Uridium
Mar 13th, 2007
06:32:30 AM
For Jebus sake grow some an imagination hollywood and make something new. Stop remaking films that dont need it. God I am pissed off now!
MAXIM READERS SUCK
by schmoove
Mar 13th, 2007
06:35:23 AM
On the subject of Carpenters' work, the readers of MAXIM magazine have voted Big Trouble in Little China the worst movie of all time! Travesty! I can only assume these are the sort of people who would tell you their favourite movie is The seventh Seal, when it's really Caddyshack
Take it easy, Uridium
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
06:38:05 AM
Hollywood makes new stuff all the time, much of which is available from your local Blockbuster. Seen The Prestige? That's a good one. How about Little Miss Sunshine? It's cute, and it has Alan Arkin out of Catch 22 in it. I hear that Pan's Labyrinth is pretty good, but I haven't seen it yet.
I know quite a few Maxim readers
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
06:39:58 AM
And you're right, schmoove, they do suck. Their favourite film tends to be The Fast And The Furious, though.
Dear Franklin
by schmoove
Mar 13th, 2007
06:42:44 AM
Thanks for the insight into Maxim readers choices, but you have left me with cold, cold comfort.
Sledge Hammer said it best when he said NO NO NO NO NO
by Seph_J
Mar 13th, 2007
06:45:05 AM
I'm sorry, but keep Butler away from 'Escape from New York'. Infact, keep the cameras away from Escape from New York. Yes, maybe Daniel Craig can do Bond, yes Christian Bale did Batman, MAYBE even Brandon Routh can pull of Superman (or was he playing Christopher Reeve?)..... but NOBODY can do Snake Pliskin but Kurt Russell. NOBODY. EVER. Back up, and keep the fuck away from this film. Release the soundtrack to the original film though because it's awesome. John Carpenter just wants a nice fat pension (hence the remakes of 'The Fog' and this new 'Halloween' shit i've been reading about). Any recent info on Argentos third 'mother' film? That film is certainly a miracle I thought would never happen. Carpenter take note.
sorry but The Departed is NOT better than Infernal
by CuervoJones
Mar 13th, 2007
06:46:38 AM
Affairs
No, srsly dudes, let's give this a shot --
by just pillow talk
Mar 13th, 2007
06:49:41 AM
it sounds really cool!

That's for you Doc!

Fuck those writers nowadays!
by joergn
Mar 13th, 2007
06:52:11 AM
Just a bunch of lousy, sad, brainless fanboys, having nothing else in their mind then remaking the movies they watched friday night during childhood. Please tell me there are some talented writers out there or some intelligent producers out there to sign them, to prove me wrong!
this of course sucks the biggest pair
by just pillow talk
Mar 13th, 2007
06:53:11 AM
of baboon nuts. Nothing can approach the campiness of that movie and the cleavage of Adrienne Barbeau. All hail Adrienne!
I'm not a fool, Plissken!
by CutAndPaste
Mar 13th, 2007
06:54:21 AM
CALL...ME...SNAKE!!!
Oh yeah
by CutAndPaste
Mar 13th, 2007
07:01:12 AM
And it's a bad idea.
Earth to Hollywood...STOP WITH THE REMAKES.
by onemanarmy
Mar 13th, 2007
07:08:53 AM
Movies are that are considered to be "a classic," arefor very good reasons.

God....zilla. Is there no creativity left?

Earth to Hollywood...STOP WITH THE REMAKES.
by onemanarmy
Mar 13th, 2007
07:08:56 AM
Movies are that are considered to be "a classic," are for very good reasons.

God....zilla. Is there no creativity left?

Whoa...
by onemanarmy
Mar 13th, 2007
07:10:23 AM
Tried to fix the lack of a space and somehow double posted two totally different posts...taking that space into account of course.
Ouch
by THE KNIGHT
Mar 13th, 2007
07:10:42 AM
What a blow to Kurt Russel's ole ego ehh.. *no pun intended*

I agree onemanarmy... Come up with some original ideas for goodness sake!

Italian job remake better than the original?????
by MrJJonz
Mar 13th, 2007
07:10:53 AM
No . . . no . . . just no. That remake is up there with other classic remakes like Get Carter and Alfie. . .which also lacked any form of enjoyment.
Oh FFS
by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies
Mar 13th, 2007
07:14:25 AM
Seriously this has to stop. You know they arent going to stop remaking John Carpenters good films until they finally ass fuck the thing.
And in other news I see Stallone has now
by MrJJonz
Mar 13th, 2007
07:16:49 AM
been charged with importing drugs . . .apparently it was a growth hormone - perhaps he is Tom Cruise's dealer
The fact that Adrian Lyne improved upon Kubricks Lolita
by Seph_J
Mar 13th, 2007
07:17:01 AM
(even though Kubrick had a ton of shit on that film) proves that remakes can work.... but im sorry that something as stylishly individual as ESCAPE FROM NY is even being suggested for a remake. Assault on Precinct 13 was remade fairly well - still well below the originals quality, but passable. I dont know where this argument is going actually.

Basicaly, let Tarantino direct 'ESCAPE FROM HONG KONG', set in 2020 with Kurt Russell once again being drafted in to save a democrat-endorsing Chinese official (played by a craggy Chow Yun-Fat) from being killed by the inhabitants of the ludicrously over-populated labour-camp-cum-prison of Hong Kong island, where anyone who is against communism is taken and brainwashed into zombies. Cue scary asian girls, kick-ass hong kong fighting, awesome Tarantino dialogue, quotable Pliskin one-liners, and even a political message. Now, isnt that better than a fucking remake. And I made it up as I typed. Think about it.

BUTLER IS NICK FURY!
by stlfilmwire
Mar 13th, 2007
07:19:58 AM
MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT S.H.I.E.L.D.
BUTLER IS NICK FURY!
by stlfilmwire
Mar 13th, 2007
07:20:00 AM
MAKE A MOVIE ABOUT S.H.I.E.L.D.
Maybe not such a bad idea, especially since...
by HarryBlackPotter
Mar 13th, 2007
07:23:10 AM
...the original was a bit short on decent action sequences, and the low budget meant the original concept wasn't fully realised. Be interesting to see a new Snake on the block.
MrJJonz - that was in the news last week
by just pillow talk
Mar 13th, 2007
07:26:27 AM
Didn't see that coming....
HarryBlackPotter = "No, srsly dudes, let's give this a
by Seph_J
Mar 13th, 2007
07:27:26 AM
shot. It sounds really cool!"
MOTHER FLIPPING HOLLOWAY
by Shermdawg
Mar 13th, 2007
07:32:52 AM
To hell with Mr.Yellsalot! Whether it's Plissken or Solid/Naked Snake JOSH HOLLOWAY is your guy. Seriously, you know I'm right about this one.

JOSH HOLLOWAY

WILL OWN

YOUR ASSES!
Maybe the new gag on the remake will be...
by Sledge Hammer
Mar 13th, 2007
07:33:32 AM
..."Snake Plissken, I heard of you...I heard you were Kurt Russell".
You have my vote, Seph_J
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
07:36:21 AM
You're suggested Escape From Hong Kong is genius. I would love to see that one.

I trust your people are contacting John Carpenter's people as we speak? You can do lunch and whatnot.

You're - what the hell?
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
07:39:07 AM
Sorry about that. All this talk of Escape From New York has made me regress to my teenage years, back when I knew more about the A-Team than grammar and spelling and suchlike.

P.S. No, srsly dudes, let's give this a shot -- it sounds really cool!

Well, They'll Need a CGI-Borgnine
by Aquatarkusman
Mar 13th, 2007
07:45:38 AM
Or it isn't getting my hard-earned $12.50.
Jesus Tapdancing Christ
by grendel69
Mar 13th, 2007
07:52:28 AM
Are they gonna remake every fucking cult movie from the 70s and 80s!?!? Remaking Escape From NY? WTF??? Enough already!
Bad career move.
by CoursinLarry
Mar 13th, 2007
07:52:45 AM
Seriously, Gerard. This is NOT the movie to make now that you got some heat.
Hopefully
by Redfive!
Mar 13th, 2007
07:53:13 AM
GB just does Watchmen instead of some shity EFNY remake,all of carpenters remakes have been shit,why will this be any good,plus sorry man KURT RUSSELL IS SNAKE NOBODY ELSE.
This... is... stupid!
by JackPumpkinhead
Mar 13th, 2007
07:53:25 AM
Tonight, we remake all!
Franklin....
by Seph_J
Mar 13th, 2007
07:58:32 AM
if only.
Tapdancing Jesus gotta eat!!!
by boba_rob
Mar 13th, 2007
08:13:42 AM
I was never a huge fan of the movie so I don't care.
God, now Hollywood's raping my adolescence
by Laserbrain
Mar 13th, 2007
08:20:23 AM
Keep your dirty, coke-frosted knobs out of the asses/mouths of my favourite movies, you bastards.
They already made a remake
by Samuel Fulmer
Mar 13th, 2007
08:24:11 AM
It was called Escape From L.A. You can pick it up from most Wal-Marts for 5 bucks.
butler's
by monkeybrow
Mar 13th, 2007
08:29:26 AM
acting sucks major ass
WHY? WHY? WHY?
by Right Bastard
Mar 13th, 2007
08:29:47 AM
Leave Carpenter the FUCK alone!!!!! Stop the remakes! Doesn't anyone have an original fucking idea?
The Thing is not a remake.
by JackPumpkinhead
Mar 13th, 2007
08:32:59 AM
The Thing and The Fly are not remakes. They are radically different adaptations of source stories. NOT of the films that first adapted those stories. They're either very faithful where the original wasn't (Carpenter) - or not faithful at all where the original was (Cronenberg.) Oh, and for heaven's sake, have Carpenter work on a real film once again before something bad happens to him (for example, before Eric Red runs him over.) Because if something did happen right now, then the man's last work would be THAT WORTHLESS TV SERIES "MASTERS OF HORROR"! Do you realize that? What kind of swan song would that be for Carpenter? Argh!
Famous 70s/80s movie that hasn't been remade: CALIGULA!
by JackPumpkinhead
Mar 13th, 2007
08:36:50 AM
(I just gave someone in Hollywood a watercooler idea, didn't I?)
This is terrible!!!!!!!!!
by cekma
Mar 13th, 2007
08:38:02 AM
Cause he yelled words? All of a sudden he's the next action star!? He was entertaining and all but the movie was not amazing and he was not really the reason why the movie did well, he was part of the reason sure but not the reason. No one bran out to see a movie called 300 because of Gerald Butler (the cheap man's Clive Owen) Did anyone see the f'n phantom!? I'm happy for the guy and everything, and hope continues to have a career, but talk about stroking ones ego, this is absurd! Between this and Rob Zombie's Shit-o-ween! How many years are we away from a Jaws or Jurassic Park remake, seriously? I don't even care if you like Escape from NY or not (I love it, great film for it's time) you could agree that the remake plague is becoming an issue. Not only that but now the sequels of remakes, etc. When is The Birds going to get remade? Oh wait we don't have to wait that long, oh joy!
Escape from Earth needs to happen
by Boondock Devil
Mar 13th, 2007
08:39:53 AM
Get Russell and Carpenter and finish off the Escape trilogy.
Plus you just know Big Trouble in Little China's next
by Boondock Devil
Mar 13th, 2007
08:40:36 AM
Starring Ashton Kutcher. And then the whole world shuddered.
"Maxim Readers."
by Zarles
Mar 13th, 2007
08:41:38 AM
Now there's an oxymoron if I've ever heard one.
"Emerging action star"
by Redfoot the Fence
Mar 13th, 2007
08:43:28 AM
Yes, because everybody was transfixed by the magnificent performance turned in by Gerard Butler in a movie full of eye candy.
I just bought some bacon
by The Awfulism
Mar 13th, 2007
08:49:19 AM
I think they should cast a real life snake in the role - and call him MAN Plissken.
Boondock Devil - that was not funny!
by just pillow talk
Mar 13th, 2007
08:55:35 AM
feeling sort of invincible.
I COULD SEE THIS
by the beef
Mar 13th, 2007
09:07:25 AM
Being written by the guy who did BLACK HAWK DOWN? Already that's similar material. I'm more curious as to who is going to direct. In fact, I'd be happier had they said Snyder was directing instead of Butler is acting in it. The way Snyder did the DOTD remake makes me think he'd handle the material very well. But that won't happen. And neither will Danny Boyle. I don't know about Butler for Snake. I haven't seen anything from him to make me think he can play Russell's Snake, but he may be written different from the original, so I don't know.
Franklin: Remake of Italian Job better than original!!!
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
09:08:02 AM
I......I.......errr......i'm.. ....just speechless with rage!..anger rising.....you....you....ahh.. .arghh.....I need to sit down for a moment. I'll deal with you later you cur you!
Hey!
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
09:11:00 AM
I may be a burrito-eating monkey, but I am no monkey-eating burrito! Shame on you, coen_fan. The Big Lebowski, mind, that's a good one, isn't it?
another major flaw....
by kingrobot
Mar 13th, 2007
09:14:53 AM
The last time I checked, New York has a serious lack of very tall, flat roofed landmark buildings to make a stealth glider landing / take off possible. Damn you terrorists all to hell.
I can feel your anger, Big_Bubbaloola
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
09:15:31 AM
Sorry, mate. I just never liked that film - a cute mini car chase and the rest of it is crap. Also, it has Benny fucking Hill in it, Benny fucking Hill brought shame on Englishmen the world over. Shame!

Mind you, I'm not saying the remake's a classic, either. It's just not as bad as the original.

The Hollywood Remake Machines Sucks
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Mar 13th, 2007
09:17:38 AM
This is blasphemy. Everyone once in a while a classic movie erupts onto the scene to create a new genre, and is followed by a bunch of B-grade copycats. Mad Max, First Blood, and Escape from New York are prime examples of these. Until something new comes along we need to put up with this garbage. Oh yeah, and bring back Ox Baker.
Well, crap! HOWEVER...
by Merrick
Mar 13th, 2007
09:18:33 AM
I freaking love ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK & this news has all kindsa stink on it. Although…I started thinking (usually not a good thing)…and this is COMPLETELY conjectural & not based on any inside knowledge…BUT an EFNY remake done “virtually” (a la 300) with sprawling apocalyptic New York Cityscapes underneath forboding, dirty skies…and Snake battling down an ocean of “crazies” (inmates) with futuristic (and not so futuristic) weapons might have a pretty decent cool factor, no? Mixed feelings…but curious…
Wasn't there already a remake...
by Gatack
Mar 13th, 2007
09:20:05 AM
In Escape from L.A.? There really isn't much that seperates that from NY.
They Live
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Mar 13th, 2007
09:22:40 AM
Had one of the best street fight scenes of all time. Piper and David were both out of bubble gum.
Speaking of remakes...
by Spikes Brain
Mar 13th, 2007
09:24:48 AM
I saw that there's a direct-to-DVD sequel out to The Rock's WALKING TALL, starring Kevin Sorbo. Which makes it a direct-to-DVD sequel to a remake of a remake. Damn...
no with all due respect to mr butler
by JeanLuc Dickhard
Mar 13th, 2007
09:26:50 AM
kurt is snake plissken and he can still play plisskin just look at the trailer for grindhouse ...
I am a Maxim reader
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
09:36:17 AM
and I am stupid, and I love The Fast and The Furious! It's like you people have known me my whole life!

Although, I occasionally branch out and read FHM and watch Torque.
Oh, I got it!
by SPECTRE Agent
Mar 13th, 2007
09:36:31 AM
It was driving me nuts where I'd seen the actor playing Daxos in 300 and then I remembered: he was Gerard Butler's right-hand man in "Atilla". Coincindence?
Bring back Kurt Russel for...
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
09:38:29 AM
ESCAPE FROM EARTH!

I may be a stupid Maxim reader but even I know that's the logical continuation of this franchise.
Actually, I'd watch this if he were in it...
by Anna Valerious
Mar 13th, 2007
09:42:30 AM
Hell, he made a better Phantom...and I'm still pushing for Noel Fielding as Windslow/Glam Rock Phantom in the POTP remake... Hotter guys in remakes FTW, baby.
I for one am looking forward to the direct to dvd...
by kravmaguffin
Mar 13th, 2007
09:46:43 AM
Sequel to the remake! You can have Kevin Sorbo playing Snake and Steven Seagal playing Lee Van Cleef's character! DMX will be the Duke of New York...
Merrick...
by cekma
Mar 13th, 2007
09:46:52 AM
Then don't remake Escape From NY, use the technology and make a DIFFERENT film then EFNY, but one that deals with an apocalyptic city Your curiousity will be satisfied and we won't have to bastardize art at the same time. Example: Metal Gear Solid's Snake is INSPIRED by Kurt's Snake. They took that inspiration and created their own world and art. Maybe I'm picky but I'm born and raised in NY, a proud native my whole life and I'm ver picky with they do with the ciy on the silver screen
The problem I have with this...
by ldm882
Mar 13th, 2007
09:49:35 AM
and I'm sure a lot of you can agree, is not that I hate remakes in and of themselves (there can be good ones), but I know too many idiots who've never seen the classic original movies and prefer, say, the remake of Assault on Precinct 13 to the original. Or Sandler's remake of The Longest Yard. Etc, etc. Many of these are the same people who love torture porn too...
LEAVE CARPENTER's EARLY STUFF ALONE
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
09:51:27 AM
ARSEHOLES.

this pisses me off no end. Why can they not go and fuck up some of his later work instead of turning some of his finest work into retard movies.

and as for what that fucking hack is doing to Halloween. PAH.

ps, and I know this may be a bit of a yuck idea (and I don't want anyone to believe I actually think this is a good idea- or even want it considered), why are the remake arseholes not doing Dark Star? Subject matter too difficult, perhaps?

Kurt would do another Snake film
by liljuniorbrown
Mar 13th, 2007
09:55:29 AM
I heard him say it the other morning while I was listening to him plug his movie on the Lex and Terry show. It was a call in interview like everyones doing now to the syndicated market shows. They are big fans of his and told him that he has played the iconic charectors every guy dreams of to which he replied " Yeah i'm so lucky i mean if your going to play a singer why not play Elvis right? A cowboy,why not Wyatt Earp?If your going to play a hockey coach why not the coach of the greatest U.S Hockey Team,and if your going to play a captain why not play Captain Ron" Which I thought was hysterical,he sounds like a great guy. He even talked about how lucky of a guy he was even when it meant he had to go home and tell Goldie Hawn(who he was banging in real life,still is) that he was going to have to prentend to bang Michelle Phiefer in Tequilla Sunrise, fucking brilliant. He said he was thrilled to be Snake Plissken because "he had no rules" and was the first "hardcore bad ass" that he ever got to play."A guy with no rules,just kick ass." You could tell he knows what his role in American cinema is and he knows he's blessed to be what most guys would love to be.
Hey Franklin, keep yer hands off my anger you dirty man
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
09:56:53 AM
And that comment about the Man who was Hill!!!! Fer shame!!! Next you'll be telling me that "Zulu" sucked tribal balls! And that would be pushing things tooo far me laddy-o.
Escape from New York has already been remade
by ELGordo
Mar 13th, 2007
09:59:12 AM
It's called Escape from LA and is god fucking awful. Hopefully Grindhouse will top the charts and these executives will see that Kurt has some Bad Ass left inside him. Escape from Earth would be a better choice than a remake.
Bad Mr Wonka,
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
09:59:49 AM
I'd go with The Thing, Assault on Precinct 13 (The Carpenter one), The Fly, and I struggle beyond that.

Franklin, go and lock yourself in a dark room where the only light source is the flickering TV playing the remake of Get Carter, and beat yourself repeatedly around the head with a copy of the script for zulu whilst chanting "YOU'RE ONLY SUPPOSED TO BLOW THE BLOODY DOORS OFF" until that truly horrid idea laeavs your mind.

Snake Plissken Is Still Alive!?!?!?!
by Mentok
Mar 13th, 2007
10:02:03 AM
I heard he was dead! Seriously though, a truly bad idea. Is it still going to be set in 1997? This is one of those cases where there is no benefit to calling it Escape From New York. The people who know the title will resent the new movie, and the kids who they want to see it will have no idea it's a remake anyway. Why not just do their own futuristic city-prison movie? I'd still go see it, and I wouldn't walk in with the baggage I'll have if it is called Escape From New York.
I knew that would annoy folks. Sorry and that.
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
10:06:39 AM
We're so starved for classics in England we've embraced that stupid mini film with Benny Hill in it, but I believe that deep down inside we are all ashamed and know better.

P.S. I'm not anti-Caine. Zulu is good.

P.P.S. Has anyone mentioned that Escape From LA is a remake of Escape From New York yet? That seems like a pithy and insightful comment to add. Also, the silver surfer is too silver.

THIS IS NEW YOOOOOOORK!!!!!!!
by dopepope
Mar 13th, 2007
10:09:39 AM
he should just play SNAKE in the MGS movie.
BTILC
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
10:16:10 AM
Lo-Pan will fucking stab a baby in the fucking face, and lick the blood off his sword afterwords.
So they're just remaking the entire Carpenter output?
by BitterMan23
Mar 13th, 2007
10:17:07 AM
a Thing remake is on deck too, no? Call me when they get to Memoirs of an Invisible Man.
EFNY=bliss, EFLA=really awful..
by Billyeveryteen
Mar 13th, 2007
10:17:40 AM
Still, I want Escape from Somewhere, but I heard Snake Pliskin was dead.
Damn Franklin you beat me to the remake gag!
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:22:08 AM
Now you an even bigger curr! Yeah I said it! Curr!!! CURRRRR!!! (I actually don't know what curr means by the way, I could be calling you a fluffy bunnykins for all I know).
Leave Snake alone, or let Russell do it.
by Giant Fish
Mar 13th, 2007
10:28:19 AM
I'd love to see Snake again, but only Russell is Snake. You can't just slap an eyepatch on some other dude. Kurt rules. He kicked Elvis in the shins, how cool is that?
Lucas is remaking Star Wars
by Wave Motion Gun
Mar 13th, 2007
10:28:48 AM
One scene at a time.
Screw this. Carpenter needs to make part 3.
by The Atomic Worm
Mar 13th, 2007
10:30:49 AM
"Escape from Earth" or "Escape from New Orleans"
Also, I like EFLA
by The Atomic Worm
Mar 13th, 2007
10:31:31 AM
It's a huge guilty pleasure
We all know it's a stupid mini film
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
10:32:12 AM
and it has got that national embarrasment Benny Hill in it. However, It's still cool as fuck, hugely quotable, and just plain amusing. Things the sequel aren't. We're also not starved of classics either. Ignoramus.

this trend for remaking carpenter reminds me of the one where they remade the Caine films- Alfie, The Italian Job, Get Carter etc, and look at the fucking abominations that resulted. So far on the Carpenter remake trail we have a piss poor Precinct 13, a fucking truly awful Fog, and a retard version of Halloween coming. Anyone else see the similarities?

BitterMan: Thanks, i'd almost forgotten about Memoirs!
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:33:17 AM
You sir are a curr....ok I REALLY need to stop that now!
Hey Mori...
by genro
Mar 13th, 2007
10:34:59 AM
What does Carpenter say about this? I thought he had some ownership on this one, especially after Debra Hill passed. In fact, doesn't Kurt have some type of control? I thought that was apart of his EFLA deal.
It's a remake, buddy, not a sequel
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
10:36:34 AM
And I'll take a version with Seth Green over one with Benny Hill any day. Also, quoting the 'bloody doors off' thing was officially worn out back in 1987. You're actually not allowed to do it anymore. I think they passed a law or something - even the Queen was sick of it.
Kurt's a god. Butler is making a huge mistake.
by genro
Mar 13th, 2007
10:39:10 AM
Moritz is a fucking idiot to think this will work.
Right, let's set this straight. Yes EFNY was remade....
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:39:30 AM
as ESLA, and yes KR and JC need to make the third film Escape from Earth. NOW JUST LET IT LIE!!!! Talk about repeat yourselves......currs. Ok that's it, i'm off to get thesaurus and get a new insult!
For Big_Bubbaloola
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
10:40:04 AM
cur

noun

1. an inferior dog or one of mixed breed

2. a cowardly and despicable person

Seems a little harsh, but Lost Prophet will probably agree with you. He thinks I am an ignoramus! That's what I get for attacking a national treasure, I suppose.

TAKING BETS NOW - The New Snake Will Be Black
by genro
Mar 13th, 2007
10:40:58 AM
wait and see how "urban" and "contemporary" this film gets.
I meant remake
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
10:41:35 AM
fuck knows why I typed sequel.

must be work and this horrible news combined with that horrid Italian Job suggestion melting my tiny little mind.

sorry about that,

Franklin: Agreed that the 'Bloody doors' is past it.
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:42:28 AM
How about "My dear, everybody in the wooorld is bent". Noel Coward RIP.
Franklin: Sorry about the 'Cur' thing then.
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:46:30 AM
But for the love of God don't go to an England home game and say that the Italian Job was crap. It will only end in tears.
I know that quote is past it
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
10:49:13 AM
I just was suffering from an irrational fit of rage and for some reason that is the first one that popped into my head (probably because it is so abused).

How about "You must learn, Keats, there are more things to life than breaking and entering."

Noel Coward RIP

Christ,I wake up to THIS?!?
by TORTURE PWN
Mar 13th, 2007
10:49:53 AM
When are you assholes going to stop paying money to see this shit!You KNOW they're only remaking stuff because remakes are "hip" and NOT because they actually have good ideas,don't you?When Paul W.S. Anderson,Rob Cohen,Ewe Boll,rob zombie or one of Michael Bay's video director cronies gets attatched don't say I didn't warn you when you should have fucking known better from the second you heard it would be done.Half of you shitheads are stuck supporting remakes now because of your stance on zombies SHALLOWEEN and can't backtrack now.See what you've done?We expect Hollywood to run this shit up the flagpole but do you fuckheads really need to salute it?
Maximizing my time
by shellfishh
Mar 13th, 2007
10:51:46 AM
I was stuck in a car repair waiting room and read the latest Maxim. It has some great pictures of Christina Aguilera, by the way.

And it DIDN'T call "Big Trouble in Little China" the worst movie of all time. It called it the 'Best Bad Movie of all Time". I love BTiLC and wasn't at all insulted by that listing. It is a GREAT bad movie.

Blackface is not cool, genro
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
10:53:32 AM
You know, sensitivity and that. I guess they could make the actor mentioned in the title of this article appear more 'urban' (to use the parlance of our times) with CGI and whatnot, but I can't see it flying with the NAACAP.

Saying that, if they were going to recast, the only man for the job is Wesley Snipes. He would make a great Snake Plissken. Okay, it would basically be Blade with an eyepatch, but what the hell is wrong with that?

ESCAPE FROM RHODE ISLAND, oh god...
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:55:16 AM
what have you started BringingSexyBack!
THE GREAT ESCAPE FROM THE GANGS OF NEW YORK STORIES
by Pound Sand
Mar 13th, 2007
10:55:32 AM
Four pointless remakes in one !
That's NAACP, obviously
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 13th, 2007
10:56:53 AM
Fucking hell, I'm going home. Cheers, Ain't It Cool types!
ESCAPE FROM THE REMAKE TEMPLE OF DOOM
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:57:14 AM
Maybe i'm not very good at this.
ESCAPE FROM BOGNOR REGIS
by Big_Bubbaloola
Mar 13th, 2007
10:58:15 AM
God knows you'd want to.
ESCAPE FROM SHEFFIELD
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
10:59:26 AM
It took me 20 years to get the fuck out.
ESCAPE FROM CELINE DION
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:00:42 AM
alternatively called drowning on the titanic
ESCAPE FROM AUDIENCE INTEREST
by Pound Sand
Mar 13th, 2007
11:01:13 AM
ESCAPE FROM BOX OFFICE REVENUE
by Pound Sand
Mar 13th, 2007
11:01:44 AM
ESCAPE FROM NEW IDEAS
by Pound Sand
Mar 13th, 2007
11:02:26 AM
ESCAPE FROM WORK
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:05:44 AM
or, as it is better known, POSTING ON AICN IN OFFICE HOURS.

gotta love it.

ESCAPE FROM THE BAN HAMMER
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:07:41 AM
or:

RENAMING YOURSESLF BRINGINGSEXYBACK WHEN IT SEEMS APPARANT THAT YOU ARE BROKEBACKCOWBOY.

Don't be shy- there's no shame in being banned

ESCAPE FROM THE BAN HAMMER
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:07:42 AM
or:

RENAMING YOURSESLF BRINGINGSEXYBACK WHEN IT SEEMS APPARANT THAT YOU ARE BROKEBACKCOWBOY.

Don't be shy- there's no shame in being banned

Butler in Godfather Remake?
by D_T
Mar 13th, 2007
11:08:33 AM
Yes! "Sicilians, tonight we dine in Mario's!!"
JackPumpkinhead
by DirkVega
Mar 13th, 2007
11:08:43 AM
Maybe someone has posted this already, but, coincidentally, a tongue-and-cheek trailer was made for a nonextistent remake of CALIGULA, and who is in it? Gerard Butler! Along with Milla Jovovich and Helen Mirren. It might still be on youtube...
ESCAPE FROM ANGELINA JOLIE'S COLON
by dekionplexis
Mar 13th, 2007
11:09:51 AM
..ah,..think I'll stay a while.. - Pliiiiiiisssskeeeeeeen!
Thought He'd Be Taller ...
by doubledumbassonyou
Mar 13th, 2007
11:11:48 AM
Anyone how has listened to the EFNY & BTiLC commentaries with Carpenter & Russell know that they have a true love for these characters. I would love nothing more for Kurt to come back and play Snake once more. Sure EFLA was a shitfest but it had its moments. Gerard Butler is getting noticed, I'm happy for him ... I'm hoping Death Proof will do for Russell what Pulp Fiction did for Travolta ... make him a marketable actor again. For too long Russell has been playing drunk dads and miscreants. This will be his return to form, Carpenter will get his ass in gear and a Third Escape movie will get done (or maybe BTiLC2?)
JackPumkinhead -> C:2
by D_T
Mar 13th, 2007
11:12:21 AM
Nice find: http://tinyurl.com/25jchy
Best remake ever?
by Tinfang
Mar 13th, 2007
11:19:11 AM
That's easy, 'The Lord of the Rings'. Yeah, you have to count that Bakshi abortion. Talk about a no brainer. O the hoot!

C'mon people, the original 'Escape From NY' wasn't exactly up there with Larry of Arabia now was it? It could stand to use modern SFX and Butler would be just as believable as Kurt (though Kurt ain't too old to do it either!). I'm with the "I'd rather see something original!" crowd though.

FAST AND FURIOUS ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK'S TRIPLE X!!!
by godoffireinhell
Mar 13th, 2007
11:24:31 AM
The original could use some remaking but not with that dumbass Neal Moritz on board.
Escape from Earth is a bad idea.
by Seph_J
Mar 13th, 2007
11:25:00 AM
It implies space ships and crap like that. Wrong genre, dudes. Kurt Russell on a space ship is NOT Snake Pliskin. I believe I posted a far better continuation of the series earlier in the talkback.

IF you were remaking EFNY, who would have the Donald Pleasance role? Malcolm McDowell again? other ideas?

I dare ANYONE to put a positive spin on this
by Doctor_Sin
Mar 13th, 2007
11:26:44 AM
Because if you do, you are fucking joking and need to die expeditiously. Even an asskissing "I don't know if this is a good or bad idea" is a piece of shit response.

Remaking this is a bad fucking idea and needs to just be put away.

Don't do it, you assholes
by Vern
Mar 13th, 2007
11:26:50 AM
If Gerard wants to be in it that's fine, I don't blame him. But what about these assholes that want to MAKE it?

Don't give me that "I'm a huge fan of the original" bullshit because it ain't true. If you were a huge fan you'd see as clear as day that Kurt Russell is still Snake Plissken and you'd be trying to make a new Snake Plissken movie. I mean, it's already been remade as ESCAPE FROM LA anyway, we don't need that story again.

Why don't you boys make up a NEW character and story for Gerard that incorporates what you like about ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK but also the drastic, ridiculous changes you were gonna make to "re-imagine" it? I'll tell you why, because what you like about ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK is the title. And maybe the eyepatch. Don't worry bud, we'll give you the eyepatch for free. Just stay the fuck away from Snake.

Thanks fellas.

Verno!
by BGDAWES
Mar 13th, 2007
11:30:32 AM
I was wondering when you'd chime in...
Vern Speaks the truth
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:30:53 AM
wankers.

It's amazing that every time they declare their adoration for the original they then fuck it right in the arse.

scum

Franklin
by Boba Fat
Mar 13th, 2007
11:32:23 AM
Benny Hill is as English as Fish & Chips, shit weather and tossing it off all day on a talkback when you should be working. Leave the Hill alone. There's no shame in enjoying watching an couple of old men being chased around a field by ladies in suspenders.
Where's the GOTTA ESCAPE FROM NY MASK?
by Doctor_Sin
Mar 13th, 2007
11:34:07 AM
"Let's make Snake a single dad and give him two kids who actually help him save the day - a son who is a smart aleck prankster and a daughter who is a brilliant and sassy team leader. We'll also give Snake a love interest who happens to be a tough-talking bounty hunter who happens to know security codes all over NY and is able to save Snake's ass. Just to emasculate Snake even more, let's not give him usual weaponry, but a gaggle of super-hi-tech laser guns and shit so that we can crank up the action, but not the violence and still get a PG-13 movie."
Hey, YB
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:36:48 AM
We need ESCAPE FROM THE MAN-CATS

or any original idea. Any.

Yeah...
by D_T
Mar 13th, 2007
11:38:01 AM
I hate when an actor becomes "hot property" - because it becomes too simple for the machine to say "OK, what properties do we own/can we buy to toss this guy into". If I were Butler I'd shop around for a indie film, show my acting chops, THEN whore myself out (maybe the Kurt Russel character in the 3rd remake of Titanic?) [...]
like i said
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
11:39:42 AM
Lo-Pan+Stabbing babies=best movie premise of all time. Yes I said premise, cause that would be the whole fucking movie
It's the Spielberg flaw
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:40:13 AM
count the amount of his films with nauseating children in them. It is a suprising amount.
By the way Moriarty
by Vern
Mar 13th, 2007
11:42:22 AM
In Sparta, every man is responsible for his words. We kill messengers in Sparta. Sparta this and Sparta that. SPARTAAAA!!!
What a great remake!!!!
by number5withabullet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:44:23 AM
Actually, why don't we just combine ALL of Carpenter's movies and remake them into the "Memoirs of the Starman Prince" trilogy, where the films are entitled "Chapter One: They lived with Ghosts from Mars, and Escaped", "Chapter Two: Big Trouble with the Vampire Christine", and finally the rollicking last act, "In the Mouth of a Damned Thing... in The Fog."
So,Mr."give the HALLOWEEN remake a chance"Verm
by TORTURE PWN
Mar 13th, 2007
11:45:57 AM
chimes in.It's like that old saying about the Nazis.1st they come for AASSAULT ON PRECINCT 13 & THE FOG,then they come for HALLOWEEN,now it's ESCAPE FROM N.Y. etc.In my book anyone against this that isn't also against the HALLOWEEN rerape is an unequivical hypocrite.I don't care how much you love THE DEVIL'S RETARDS.
Escape From Earth....The Thing Returns
by liljuniorbrown
Mar 13th, 2007
11:46:01 AM
Bigger Trouble in Little China, They Live Again!!!! and the list goes on of Carpenter sequels that have to be made sometime in this century. We all have to wonder what happened to the creativity of guys like Carpenter and Craven. Are there best days behind them for good? Two long post just to say what I think everyone else is thinking....WE WOULD MUCH RATHER PAY TO SEE A GOOD SEQUEL OR FOLLOW UP THAN ANOTHER DAMN REMAKE. NO KURT RUSSELL?, NO SNAKE PLISSKEN!!!
Escape from Lo-Pan
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
11:46:46 AM
it would be 2 minutes long
Escape From Witch Mountain
by Boba Fat
Mar 13th, 2007
11:48:48 AM
Where Snake comes across two kids who are aliens and rides in a levitating RV. Before the kids zoom off in a UFO.
It's all Zombie's fault...
by Spikes Brain
Mar 13th, 2007
11:49:20 AM
I was trying to remember who did the lousy theme song for Escape From LA. I looked it up, and it was White Zombie. Dude, we get it, you're hairy and you like old horror movies. Could you please go away now?
I know I spelled "unequivocal" wrong ,dammit
by TORTURE PWN
Mar 13th, 2007
11:52:06 AM
zombie would have said "fucking" instead.
Tootsie 2: Return to Dustin Hoffman's ass
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
11:53:03 AM
starring Lo-Pan
As the President said on Air Force One
by Doctor_Sin
Mar 13th, 2007
11:57:23 AM
"Get this MOTHERFUCKING Snake off of this MOTHERFUCKING plane!"
"Escape from Earth: Captain Ron's Revenge"
by number5withabullet
Mar 13th, 2007
11:59:50 AM
I think I might be the only one who rememebers that OTHER movie where Russell donned an eyepatch.
THIS IS LIKE
by WISEBLOOD
Mar 13th, 2007
12:00:10 PM
Remaking Citizen Cain. The worst idea fucking ever. EFNY is a nearly perfect film in tone and execution. I can see an update, with newly redone special effects, maybe a directors cut to get the beginning readded, but a remake? COME ON. Thats the dumbest idea since greedo shooting first.
Escape From AICN
by Boba Fat
Mar 13th, 2007
12:02:06 PM
Chubby geek, Snake Foreskin, tries to escape from his computer screen after getting all giddy over an entertaining talkback. But he needs a toilet break. Can he do it? or will he piss himself?
Hey YB
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
12:02:12 PM
I think a square go between the MAN-CATS and the son of god would be interesting- provided it wasn't done in a South Park "Super Friends" kind of way. Don't play it for laughs, man, don't.

Remake! Pah- we've just shown more originality than the carpenter raping twats.

Will they CGI in the World Trade Center buildings
by ATARI
Mar 13th, 2007
12:04:16 PM
that's all I want to know
no number5withabullet some of us do remember...
by TORTURE PWN
Mar 13th, 2007
12:04:43 PM
no matter how hard we try to forget.
My Pet Goat: Desert Storm 2
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
12:04:54 PM
with cameo by Lo-Pan on drums
More ideas for remakes
by Samuel Fulmer
Mar 13th, 2007
12:05:01 PM
to come from Hollywood if Carpenter ever gets the chance to direct another film. Actually, maybe this is why he's been staying away from theaters since Ghosts of Mars.
Hey, isn't it time someone remade "300"?
by BenBraddock
Mar 13th, 2007
12:05:36 PM
It's been out all of 2 weeks
shwermdawg
by lofe101
Mar 13th, 2007
12:07:44 PM
i agree with you a 100%. if there is going to be a new escape, Josh holloway is more than perfect. as much as i dont mind butler, holloway looks and sounds the part. if he is not this snake, then he should be the other snake in metal gear solid. or if not, kurt russel could still pull it off.
301 Spartans
by Samuel Fulmer
Mar 13th, 2007
12:07:47 PM
starring Glenn Close and Jeff Daniels.
Just out of curiosity
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
12:08:12 PM
Isn't Ghosts of Mars a remake of Assault on Precinct 13, which was a remake?

or am I being stupid?

Coming this Summer...
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
12:08:33 PM
Larry the Cable Guy is GOAT FUCKER. he's a retarded steel worker with a heart of gold and a dick that seeks out goats. He must go through trials and tribulations to find the spirit within. Lo-Pan
Rip-Offs over Remakes
by Samuel Fulmer
Mar 13th, 2007
12:12:59 PM
Because I'll take a Psycho rip-off like Dressed to Kill anyday over a shot for shot remake. Who would have thought Hollywood would have every one championing the days when directors and producers would rip-off other films instead of remaking them?
don't do that
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
12:24:15 PM
BSB will have a coronary,

can I have a wine making machine? Just to accelerate my decline into cirrosis driven stupidity, you understand. If I have a wine-making machine I might be able to consume enough so that this shitty remake seems like a good idea. Or I may die trying.

My only problem with remakes is...
by gorydon
Mar 13th, 2007
12:28:13 PM
That the studios are not focusing on more original material. I don't care if a movie I love gets remade. The original will always be there. Plus more people will see the original because of the remake. For example, "Hey man, have you seen Dawn of the Dead?"-"Yes I have, but I like the original better."-"Oh, it's a remake? I'll have to check the old one out."...I think they should make Metal Gear Solid over an EFNY remake though. Butler would be great as that Snake.
Escape From El Este
by Doctor_Sin
Mar 13th, 2007
12:28:46 PM
Starring Carlos Mencia. A new Taco Bell is under siege by rampaging hoodlums. Carlos Mencia plays an inner-city teacher who braves going in to rescue the employees.
CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN!!!
by PwnedByStallone
Mar 13th, 2007
12:33:19 PM
Pull my finger.
I did nothing for society:The Anna Nichole Smith Story
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
12:40:09 PM
cool
i'm gonna get murdered for this one
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
12:41:40 PM
Kiss Kiss Bang Bang 2: The Richard Jeni story
Journey/Escape
by Spikes Brain
Mar 13th, 2007
12:41:54 PM
Snake breaks into the San Fernando Valley to rescue Steve Perry, who's been held prisoner by terrorists since 1989.
At least it's not a prequel!
by Doctor_Sin
Mar 13th, 2007
12:44:39 PM
"The Young Plissken Chronicles"
or the Kaning
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
12:44:52 PM
bondage is fun
Kloipy, I thought it was funnny in a macabre way
by Doctor_Sin
Mar 13th, 2007
12:45:13 PM
I approve.
well, butler could kick the sh*t outta kurt russell.
by JacksonsPole
Mar 13th, 2007
12:45:39 PM
don't get me wrong. escape from new york, and hell even LA, were some of my favorite flicks of all time. but after watching 300, in IMAX, last night Butler has my vote to be the next Snake Plissken. hell, they should get Snyder to direct and make an all new cult classic. BUTLER KICKS ASSS!
Today is a remake of yesterday
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:45:46 PM
with a reimagined hangover.
My next appearance in court is a remake of my last time
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:46:27 PM
only with hipper younger judge that the kids can relate to.
I am a remake of my father
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:47:37 PM
same alcoholism but with a fresher hip-hop soundtrack.
Mark Wahlberg IS Snake Plissken
by Spikes Brain
Mar 13th, 2007
12:47:43 PM
In (wait for it...) ESCAPE FROM ESCAPE FROM PLANET OF THE APES!
My life is a remake of The Getaway
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:49:02 PM
only with a copy of Maxim instead of Ali McGraw and a drinking problem instead of a cunning sense of strategy and relfex.
My vomit is a remake of my breakfast
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:49:42 PM
but with better CGI and Will Smith.
Escape From Medfield:
by Wyatt Wingfoot
Mar 13th, 2007
12:51:24 PM
Dexter Riley Versus Snake Plissken.

To. The. DEATH!!!!

Computer Gotta Wear Tennis Shoes!
300 was a remake of my last guys night out
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:51:26 PM
only with 299 more guys and in the movie they didn't get thrown out of the strip club for barfing on the stage.
I Robot: The Al Gore Story
by Kloipy
Mar 13th, 2007
12:51:31 PM
GABBO
What I did to those guys who looked at me funny
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:53:17 PM
was a remake of what I did in Vietnam, only this time I was punished by the government instead of rewarded.
My new bride is a remake of my ex-wife
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:54:59 PM
only with a hip new Russian mail-order spin to appeal to those video game-playing kids.
150 million for Watchmen
by AlwaysThere
Mar 13th, 2007
12:55:12 PM
You're a madman, Mr. Snyder. A madman.
funnily enough
by Lost Prophet
Mar 13th, 2007
12:55:41 PM
Today seems like a remake of yesterday: went to work. Spent all day tooling about on AICN- only the topic is different.

They should fire me really.

The remake of my haunting childhood is being realized
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
12:57:09 PM
in the form of flashbacks produced by Steve Soderberg.
Thunderdome
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Mar 13th, 2007
12:57:19 PM
The sheer number of responses on this talkback ought to give someone the hint that this is the best idea since New Coke. What you need to do is put Russell from Soldier, and Butler from 300 in the dome. To the victor goes the spoils. Special guest referee Ox Baker.
I've been on the bridge..
by Banditmania
Mar 13th, 2007
12:59:15 PM
what a dump.
Tank Abbott
by Spikes Brain
Mar 13th, 2007
01:00:20 PM
... is a remake of Ox Baker. It's all about the beard...
Michael Bay's Kane
by Samuel Fulmer
Mar 13th, 2007
01:04:05 PM
would star Kane of WWE/See No Evil fame as Charles Foster Kane. The Undertaker could play rosebud.
Not snake but maybe Solid Snake
by Phategod1
Mar 13th, 2007
01:06:11 PM
I think this guy would nake a better Solid Snake then Josh Holloway but not as good as Keifer Sutherland.
Prequel to the Remake of my life
by Spandau Belly
Mar 13th, 2007
01:08:18 PM
starring Jordana Brewster as the personification of my drinking problem getting its start while I was still in the womb.
Escape from Oz: Dorothy Does Dallas
by Mister Man
Mar 13th, 2007
01:14:48 PM
Anyway, remakes are gonna happen...always have, always will. It's not a current trend, by any means.
Fucking Hollywood wankers.
by Gilkuliehe
Mar 13th, 2007
01:15:54 PM
Leave Carpenter alone you assholes. What's next? A remake of HALLOWEEN or THE THING? Oh right. ASSHOLES! Just give the guy some money and a cool script. Consider it an investment: THis way you get to remake more movies five years from now. I hate these fuckers. (And I love Vern)
Escape from Cleveland...
by rbatty024
Mar 13th, 2007
01:24:35 PM
Come on everyone wants to know what happened in Cleveland. That running gag was the only good part of Escape from LA. Plus, my home city needs the publicity. You may have escaped from New York but can you survive Cleveland?
Directors that make remakes....
by BillyPilgrim
Mar 13th, 2007
01:24:48 PM
Are visionless morons.
Bad idea....just bad. Bad.
by Cellar Door
Mar 13th, 2007
01:29:54 PM
I'm glad GB is gettin his due...I've liked most everything he's been in even tho most do not (ex. Reign of Fire). But a remake of EFNY conceptually sucks on many levels. Though the idea of Escape from Earth (with Russel as Snake of course) has some microscopic merit to it...anything else in that franchise is doomed to suckage unless they extract the concept alone and make something else entirely with different characters and then reference the earlier material to earn the name "Escape from ". But even then...imagine all the out of work screenwriters trying to get original stuff looked at when the only thing seemingly greenlit are freakin remakes!! No more remakes...and leave Carpenter's early work alone...it's all classic camp (Big Trouble) or kick ass sci-fi & horror (The Thing & Halloween repsec). STOP already!!! Give an out of work screenwriter a gig for chrissakes!!
Now I'm Pissed!
by Snake Foreskin
Mar 13th, 2007
01:37:24 PM
First they put me in a movie with Peter Fonda, now they want me to be played by some ninny with a speech impediment! I get no respect.
CHILDREN OF MEN!!
by caravaggio
Mar 13th, 2007
01:39:02 PM
so sick of remakes. get Gerald to do a futuristic movie- an OG movie. not a fucking remake. so tired.
Why remake it? Just make Metal Gear Solid the movie
by Orionsangels
Mar 13th, 2007
01:42:07 PM
Oh and here I thought I was being unique by mentioning this, grrr
TASG in....Escape From The Shitter!
by BillyPilgrim
Mar 13th, 2007
01:42:14 PM
I'm not a full fledged moviephile so I don't know this but... Did folks growing up in the 40's have to watch endless horrible remakes in 60's? I just want to know when this shit started.
All the Carpenter remakes
by DirkD13"
Mar 13th, 2007
01:47:33 PM
Yet the guy can't seem to get his own shit together. It's such a damn shame because Sir John Carpenter is and always will be, a legend amongst legends. I pray for his directorial comeback, when the 'yoof' of today get to experience some awesome Carpenter magic. The guy used to fart cult classics for fun, he's surely got more in him!
WTF!?!?!
by cahcat
Mar 13th, 2007
01:53:56 PM
Why remake Escape From New York?! Why? Oh God Why? Remake craze will drive me to an early grave!
Words to live by
by Snake Foreskin
Mar 13th, 2007
02:04:40 PM
"I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do." Robert A. Heinlein
No Fcuking way
by brock landers baby
Mar 13th, 2007
02:10:59 PM
Why are people even thinking of doing that???? I am sooo angry now,I'm going for a long walk to cool down.
and the real problem is
by Right Bastard
Mar 13th, 2007
02:14:32 PM
as with all remakes, they will completely miss the subtle political and social commentary, and present nothing but a steaming pile of stylistic crap.
The ending of ESCAPE FROM L.A. was classic.
by Gilkuliehe
Mar 13th, 2007
02:19:06 PM
The whole movie wasn't as good but it was fun. It has Bruce Campbell as a crasy plastic surgeon for fuck's sake! And what an ending. I say get Carpenter and Russel to make ESCAPE FROM EARTH after Plissken shut down the planet.
Shya le Beef (whatever) will play Snake Junior.
by JackPumpkinhead
Mar 13th, 2007
02:19:54 PM
"Snake! I hate Snake!"
Right Bastard...
by rbatty024
Mar 13th, 2007
02:23:46 PM
you're absolutely...um, right, I guess. Look at the Dawn of the Dead remake that just didn't understand the original. Politics don't get put into big budget films. You're only going to find politics in small genre cult classics.
Several studios?
by cekma
Mar 13th, 2007
02:36:45 PM
Doesn't one studio own the rights? How can several studios be trying to get the project? Shouldn't CAA package only be pitched to those that own the material, how the hell can other studios come on board besides giving some cash and getting a some back.
Gerard can do better
by Demosthenes2
Mar 13th, 2007
02:41:52 PM
He's a very good action star indeed, but unlike many action stars, he can actually handle other genres as well, and I'd hate to see him pigeonholed. Of course he's probably not complaining if the action movies rake in the cashola as they tend to do. Nevertheless, I think he's a strong enough lead to establish his own iconography rather than inherit someone else's iconography in an unasked-for remake.
No.
by SebastianHaff
Mar 13th, 2007
03:17:54 PM
Just... no. To all of it. Hell no.
If they are going to remake it...
by ELGordo
Mar 13th, 2007
03:20:51 PM
How are they going to top the classic scene where Snake lands on the World Trade center in his glider? Have him land on the unbuild Freedom tower or some generic skyscraper midtown Manhattan?
THIS! IS! HORSESHIT!!!!!
by slappy jones
Mar 13th, 2007
03:23:38 PM
terrible terrible idea....
FUCK YOU HOLLYWOOD
by misnomer
Mar 13th, 2007
03:27:32 PM
ITS BARELY 25 YEARS OLD FOR CHRIST SAKES!!!!! well...it's actually a cool movie ....and it's one that would lend itself to updating....but Ill always love the original too much.
just dont touch "They Live," "Lost Boys" & "Weird
by misnomer
Mar 13th, 2007
03:33:56 PM
Science" that's all I ask. please. I mean, I'm only 23 for effs sake. Is that "old" these days? well...no. But it feels like it when all the films I cherished as a kid are being pointlessly remade. If they MUST remake this movie, just use the concept...change the title and the central character.
This remake will never happen.
by slone13
Mar 13th, 2007
03:43:18 PM
It just won't.
Anybody ever seen Butler's screen test forDracula 2000?
by Captain Happy
Mar 13th, 2007
03:46:45 PM
fucking heee-larious! You must see. He's wearing eyeliner...
Plissken and Burton
by Playhouse
Mar 13th, 2007
03:51:54 PM
Kurt Russell nailed these guys. Two characters you definitely do not remake or recast. It would be like remaking Star Trek and casting someone else as James T. Kirk. Oh wait...
Peter Falk as Snake Plisken! Not Avaiable? Then..
by BigTuna
Mar 13th, 2007
04:03:48 PM
Sandy Duncan.
FFS...
by datachasm
Mar 13th, 2007
04:26:29 PM
i wake up and i see this! IM GOING BACK TO BED!!! FAWK U hack remakers... before EFNY there was no EFNY... Carpenter had to labor up a script... so you lazy fucks with all your money to burn should do the same thing and tell a new story.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
by longevitymonk
Mar 13th, 2007
04:28:10 PM
snakes on John Carpenter..my god..please dont let it be true..kurt russell isnt too old to do another sequal!! WTF us going on! Everyone is going to remake JC's stuff now...has the old man gone batty...if anyone but JC tries to remake Big Trouble In Little China without Kurt Russell..I will personaly bitch slap them!
NO, No, NOOOOOOO! DON'T!
by OgieOglethorpe
Mar 13th, 2007
04:35:04 PM
Just leave it alone, guys. Now is NOT the time... give it another TWENTY years, and then *maybe* start thinking about it. Until then, try & come up with something original, eh?
Remakes better than the original?
by BannedOnTheRun
Mar 13th, 2007
04:40:37 PM
Dawn of the Dead. There, I said it.
its all in the relflexes
by rdsxfan8
Mar 13th, 2007
04:49:44 PM
thats all I got on that one. oh and does anyone know where i can get an asian with Green eyes? just curious
Il never understand
by EdRyder
Mar 13th, 2007
04:49:56 PM
First off,what happened with those animated prequels?? Why?Why do they still pull this shit?Why is it always our generations childhood that gets raped?What,nobody wants to remake "The Searchers"???And even if they do remake EFNY,how do they consider that "success"?If it made 100 million opening weekend .you cant turn to a hottie and say"I made that"because,you didnt. Who gets the blame?The hack writers? Or the Hollywood suits who wont take risks?
why don't they remake something that SUCKS???
by El Borak
Mar 13th, 2007
04:50:41 PM
instead of tryingtore-do good movies. is nothing sacred?
ESCAPE FROM THE REMAKE
by Cult Exiter
Mar 13th, 2007
04:55:09 PM
Press ESC.
ESCAPE FROM SEATTLE
by Sir Loin
Mar 13th, 2007
04:57:16 PM
Heck, might as well go for another corner of the US, this time instead of Chock Full o' Nuts in the background it's Starbucks. Bad guy's HQ is the Space Needle.
and... N.Y.C. is the most overrated story location.
by Cult Exiter
Mar 13th, 2007
05:12:13 PM
The favorite of self-sucking writers and directors.
WHY
by Blaidd
Mar 13th, 2007
05:12:18 PM
well i sat through all 300 talkback and my overall thought is.......WHY .........WHY REMAKE .........WHY TAKE THE JOB AS PLISSKIN .........WHY PRODUCE IT .........WHY DIRECT IT .........WHY PUT MONEY INTO IT .........WHY NOT BUY THE RIGHTS TO THE MILLIONS OF BOOKS WITH ORIGINAL STORIES. .........WHY NOT ASK THE NEXT TAXI DRIVER FOR HIS SCRIPT .........WHY DONT THEY GET OFF THEIR LAZY ASSES AND EARN THEIR VAST PAYPACKETS .........WHY IS WILL FERELL GIVEN JOBS AS AN ACTOR? .........WHY DID THEY REMAKE 300 .........WHY DO WE CARE SO MUCH!!!!!
KURT RUSSELL IS THE TRUE SNAkE PLISSKEN
by hif4life
Mar 13th, 2007
05:14:28 PM
fuck this remake, fuck hollywood, fuck michael bay......
313
by Blaidd
Mar 13th, 2007
05:17:24 PM
Comon 313 posts and the Harry Potter does dallas talkback gets 474, which is more in need of a good rant..
I wonder how long it will be before...
by mrfan
Mar 13th, 2007
05:19:38 PM
they remake the Lord of the Rings trilogy.
Escape from Little China! Snake Vs Jack Burton!
by BADBOYBROM HC
Mar 13th, 2007
05:21:03 PM
Oh and Oceans 11 remake was better than the original! Brom XXX
Gerard Butler always looks like he's about to cry
by CTU Mole
Mar 13th, 2007
05:30:58 PM
He's too emo to play Snake. And how are they going to handle the WTC? You can't have a movie set in the future in NYC without addressing that.
Stupid, Ridiculous and Laughable.
by uss cygnus
Mar 13th, 2007
05:33:10 PM
Why not re-make EP IV, V, & VI while you're at it? Hollywood is a living joke.
ESCAPE FROM THE ESCAPE POD...
by uss cygnus
Mar 13th, 2007
05:34:49 PM
@ The Battle of Wolf 359. Now THAT would be a movie.
Good idea = one that's already made money
by kevred
Mar 13th, 2007
06:16:33 PM
That seems to be the one and only equation in Hollywood minds. Not an as-yet-unfilmed story that someone reads and thinks, "what a great idea--people will love it!" Rather, one that an executive looks at in a box-office/video-revenue report and thinks, "what a commodity with a proven track record! Between the brand recognition, and advertising, we can score a notable opening weekend and make a profit by the time DVD sales are in, guaranteed." Not that Hollywood's ever been about altriusm. But would any of, say, Carpenter's classic 70s-80s run of films be given a second look if they were just being introduced as screenplays today? "Big Trouble in *what*? Prince of Dark*NOT*!" would be as far as they'd get. And so long as they keep making a predictable profit, however meager, the rehashes will keep getting cranked out 'til we've run out of retro. Is there any chance the teenage hordes who flock to the opening nights of such remake-dreck can change their ways and sabotage this evil trend? One season of poor opening weekends for these types of pics could slam on the brakes.
No Russell, no Snake
by acebandage
Mar 13th, 2007
06:16:58 PM
Do a sequel, not a remake!
youre the duke, youre the duke
by LarryTheCableGuy
Mar 13th, 2007
06:21:01 PM
no way. i dunno who this gerard butler is but i think he's crap if he even dares try to be snake plissken. that movie, along with big trouble should never be remade. only a sequel. i loved escape from l.a. and think the ending rocked. i'd love to see the 3rd one take place in that world. not a stupid remake. there's a fresh idea out there for part 3, yes it's gonna be the same plot but at least it's not a total remake, think of a new idea. maybe they'll still make the anime sequel/prequel. and there was a short ran comic book series.
only remake bad movies
by LarryTheCableGuy
Mar 13th, 2007
06:22:45 PM
remake bad movies that had good ideas that wer'nt executed well the firt time around. like some ed wood movie or something. i dunno.
GERARD BUTLER IN REMAKE OF BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE CHINA
by Darth_Baltar
Mar 13th, 2007
06:23:21 PM
can't ya hear it now... "TONIGHT, WE DINE AT YEN-CHING"!!!! Don't know if Butler can pull off piloting the Pork Chop Express though.
You can't completely blame Hollywood...
by rbatty024
Mar 13th, 2007
06:26:08 PM
after all, it is the audience who continually pay good money to be handed over trash. Especially when it comes to crappy horror movie remakes. The executives will claim this is what the populace want, and the sad thing is, they might be right.
Get Kurt Russell again
by photoboy
Mar 13th, 2007
06:46:45 PM
Seriously, just look at him in the Grindhouse trailer, age just makes him look even more cooler as Snake. There's no need to re-cast, just get Russell again. It's all in the reflexes!
Butler as action star: Timeline and Tomb Raider 2
by Charles Grady
Mar 13th, 2007
06:47:14 PM
Why wasn't he THE HOT, EMERGING ACTION STAR after handling the male action lead duties in those two movies? They were B.O. disappointments for reasons independent of Butler, just as 300 is a smash for reasons independent of Butler. This is hardly immediately-post-Titanic DiCaprio "star" buzz here, where it might've made sense to start wheeling out the big paydays. This is a journeyman actor who happened into a big hit. No one going in went because it starred Butler, and I'm sure 75% of the audience that flocked to it wouldn't have recognized Butler on their TV in "Dear Frankie" a mere hour later. You'd think after the Vin Diesel and Alicia Silverstone (to name but two of dozens of examples) overhype, studios wouldn't be so quick to assume the lead in a big hit doesn't automatically warrant 10-20 mil for their next pic. And I say this as a Gerald Butler FAN. He's just not a STAR, at least not on the basis of holding a fairly anonymous lead role in one smash movie.
Escape from Sex & Drugs?
by triplefive
Mar 13th, 2007
06:49:57 PM
The Jake The Snake Roberts Story...i got nuthin.
Kurt Russell is the only Snake
by longevitymonk
Mar 13th, 2007
06:50:18 PM
Just ask anyone who has played Medal Gear Solid for 20 hours+.
Darth_Baltar
by longevitymonk
Mar 13th, 2007
06:52:08 PM
Don't even say it! You will embolden them. It seems to me: Tonight we dine on John Carpenters corps!!!
Kurt Russell is God
by kwisatzhaderach
Mar 13th, 2007
07:14:32 PM
John Carpenter is the Messiah. And anybody trying to remake Escape From New York will be struck down and utterly destroyed. In the meantime anybody got Carpenter's phone number? I need to get him my Escape From San Francisco treatment starring Kurt as Snake and Michael Biehn as his long lost brother. Classic.
NO MORE REMAKES
by Frank Black
Mar 13th, 2007
07:28:09 PM
Who else wants to scream whenever they hear more remake news?
Frank Black
by kwisatzhaderach
Mar 13th, 2007
07:33:25 PM
Count me in.
He Should Play...
by Alen Smithee
Mar 13th, 2007
07:47:01 PM
Fresno Bob
GOODFELLAS II: BILLY BATTS ESCAPES FROM HENRY'S TRUNK
by uss cygnus
Mar 13th, 2007
08:41:45 PM
"I know a place upstate, they'll never find him...WHAT THE?!? He's GONE!"
Marmoset...
by genro
Mar 13th, 2007
09:08:34 PM
I'm describing a studio tactic, and one I very much believe, will be considered for this project. If you think about, EFNY lends itself perfectly to what A&M labels "urban" films. I agree Snipes could play a decent Snake but we're living in fantasyland if a studio won't want to do to this what they did to The Warriors. Maybe Jay-Z can play The Duke.
This is the worst idea
by JuanSanchez
Mar 13th, 2007
09:52:41 PM
int the long, sad history of bad ideas.
MANY FURIOUSNESSES SHALL RAIN DOWN LIKE ACID
by Bronx Cheer
Mar 13th, 2007
10:37:39 PM
AS I EXPRESS FOR THIS MOMENT HOW COMPLETELY SANCTIFIED SNAKE PLISKIN IS. WHILE KRRISH WOULD EASILY DISTRUB SPIDER-FELLOW FOMR HIS SLEEP AND MAKE HIM DISORIENTED IN FLAMES OF STATIC DISCHARGE, IT MUST BE SAD NOW FOR ALL THE DESTINIES TO HEAR THAT SNAKE PLISKIN MAY HAVE THE STRENGTHENED SOUL NECFESSARY TO MAKE KRRISH WINCE. THE ONLY ONE IN THE GALAXY WHO CAN STOP SNAKE PLISKIN IS THE SILVER SURFER, AND HE WILL PREFORM VARIOUS ACTIONS OF PAIN ON SNAKE AND END HIS ABILITY TO DEDUCT CHILD CARE EXPENSES. OH, AND HE HAS COSMPIC POWERS THAT WILL END SNAKE PLISKIN.
A couple points for you, Torture Pwn
by Vern
Mar 13th, 2007
10:54:29 PM
1. I never told YOU to give Halloween remake a chance, I just said I was gonna.

2. There are two main ways this is different from a Halloween remake: A. Michael Meyers has already been played by 7 or 8 different guys, sometimes badly. Snake Plissken has only been played by one guy, and to perfection. B. I don't want them to make anymore sequels to Halloween. I DO want them to make sequels to Escape From New York.

3. I know you are a smarter guy than you are letting on and can see that there are shades of grey in the world. You don't have to be such a fundamentalist about this shit.

4. In my opinion, corny Mad Magazine style parody titles weaken your argument, they don't strengthen them. If you could come up with a better one than Devil's Retards then maybe it would help, but I doubt it.

5. I'm sorry I spelled your name wrong before but what the fuck is a "Pwn" anyway, you gotta cut me some slack on this one, I don't speak hobbit.

Hugh Jackman as Snake Pliskin...
by DarthStallion
Mar 13th, 2007
10:55:47 PM
either that or make Escape From Earth with Russell/Carpenter.
I like the Idea of the remake...
by LargoJr
Mar 13th, 2007
10:56:57 PM
Mayne they can talk Richard Jenni into playing Kurt's comic relief leading into the final scene in which... (wait.. he what?.. Hmm... in that case.. never mind
So tired of remakes. And bad joke Largo Jr
by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz
Mar 13th, 2007
10:59:52 PM
Just for the sake of it I found this online http://tinyurl.com/2kkpun I mean yeah I can see him playing snake after seeing this picture but then again no. Kurt Russell made Snake who he was. Anyone else trying to be Snake would just be a copy of something that does not need to be redone. Not saying that the movie might not look and be fun to watch just saying what's the point other then money. And as far as that shameful joke on a great loss in Richard Jeni, eat shit Largo Jr.
Hey wait...what about...
by DarthStallion
Mar 13th, 2007
11:06:05 PM
Jackman and Butler in a remake of "Tango And Cash"? Hollywood is creaming their collective shorts at the thought of it!

And don't forget Bad English doing a remake of their soundtrack song "Best Of What I've Got". Radio Dynamite!
LargoJr, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?
by Bronx Cheer
Mar 13th, 2007
11:09:35 PM
It's not hip or funny to exploit the recently-deceased for jokes, not even if you get paid for them. It's okay to actually show some respect for the dead. AllPowerfulWizardOfOz is dead on, no pun intended.
It seems like every casting decision in the TBs
by Bronx Cheer
Mar 13th, 2007
11:15:46 PM
is either Hugh Jackman or Hugh Jackman. How the heck did any movies get made before Hugh Jackman arrived on the scene? But "Escape from Earth," that is golden.
this will happen no matter how much we protest
by INWOsuxRED
Mar 13th, 2007
11:32:10 PM
Escape from New York is cool. It is cool ideas and a cool character in a very very dated movie. I can still watch it, but I doubt it will be highly regarded by anyone who wasn't around when it first came out. Escape from L.A. pretty much killed any chances of a third installment of the Carpenter/Russell franchise. I'd prefer the wait be longer rather than shorter, but there is absolutely no stopping this from happening. I'm not sure if I hope it winds up in capable hands. I wouldn't mind if this crashed and burned so that there aren't any sequels and everyone forgets about the remake and remembers the original.
Next week's rumor: Gerard Butler as Spock.
by kabong
Mar 13th, 2007
11:34:48 PM
1. Execs greenlight remakes because it covers their asses. "I went with a proven product, so I can't be fired even if the remake flops." 2. The star of the movie at the top of the box office this week must, by Hollyweird regulation, be nominally attached to anything and everything. 3. Gerard Butler should have been James Bond instead of puffy-lip Craig.
NO MORE CGI!!!!! EVER!!!!
by Fing Fang Foom
Mar 13th, 2007
11:52:59 PM
Filmmakers are getting so damn lazy. I was watching Return of the Jedi the other day and was blown away at how different and more authentic it looks than FX movies today. It looks like the French Connection or a documentary compare to today's shite. Green screen sucks! Build sets! Big sets like they used to. Plus it'll cost less and look REAL! I'll be able to suspend disbelief. Somebody please make a badass scifi action movie than looks like Midnight Express with real dirt and stuff with no post production color correction etc.... End Rant. Who's with me? Kurt Russel is still badass. He looks awesome in the Grindhouse trailer. Plissken ala more grizzed and battered. Remakes should be banned from Hollywood. Computers and remakes are stifling very creative and talented people into mediocrity and unorginal thought. Bah!
Sick of stupid remakes?
by TORTURE PWN
Mar 14th, 2007
12:16:11 AM
Stay the fuck home.End the trend.
Josh Holloway for Snake...
by lynxpro
Mar 14th, 2007
12:46:05 AM
If there is to be a remake, at least Josh would be perfect for Snake. Actually, I would prefer it to be a continuation story, with Josh Holloway playing Snake Jr.
a good remake...
by lynxpro
Mar 14th, 2007
12:53:52 AM
I'd say in the pantheon of remakes, the modern *Ocean's 11* is a much much much better film than the original. Hell, I'd even say that the modern *Dawn of the Dead* is better than the original. It is just rare when this happens. Oh, and *Batman Begins* is much better than Burton's *Batman*. Maybe I should think of some more while I'm at it. I just wish people would remake failed movies. It is too easy to remake a hit.
Kurt Russell is Snake Plissken
by hadez
Mar 14th, 2007
12:55:00 AM
And about remakes, why doesn't Stallone use his newfound "Rocky Balboa" physic and re-make "The Italian Stallion"!! ^_^
Wait a minute...
by a_guy
Mar 14th, 2007
01:02:24 AM
I'm Confused, Was it Greedo who shot first, or the other way around???
gotta rag on the Abrams Trek...
by lynxpro
Mar 14th, 2007
01:05:56 AM
Seriously, unless Ryan Reynolds is James T. Kirk in the remake, I ain't a' seein' it, especially after reading the Abrams screenplay for what became Metrosexualman Returns.
please Crom, please...absolutely no Will Smith
by lynxpro
Mar 14th, 2007
01:08:19 AM
And if you thought Butler was bad in the role of Snake, wait until Michael Bay gets his crabby hands on the project and asks Will Smith to be Snake... "The name is 'Ah Hellz Nah' Plisskin."
eat at Escape from New York Pizza
by lynxpro
Mar 14th, 2007
01:11:14 AM
It is a pizza joint up in Portland, OR. Although not as cool as Pizza Schmizza (sic) up in Portland that has a muthafrakin' Dalek inside waiting to exterminate yo azz if you order the wrong pizza.
I Agree With Shermdawg
by JohnIan
Mar 14th, 2007
01:17:14 AM
Josh Holloway could be perfect for Snake. Hell, he alreadly looks like the character just add eye patch.
Dawn of the Dead
by Fing Fang Foom
Mar 14th, 2007
01:19:18 AM
The original is waaaaayyyyyy better, c'mon!... just my opinion, with respect lynxpro. But the Honeymooners with Cedric the Entertainer blows the Gleason version out of the water. And the new Raging Bull with Vin Deisel/McG destroys the DeNiro/Scorcese. But seriously there have been good remakes. It sucks the good movies of the past are being turned into mostly crappy movies that make money but ultimately disrespect the name. Then those poor old movies never get seen by a new audience and the legacy becomes tainted. Such is Hollywood, I guess. As we get older and movies from the 80s- Predator/Back to the Future etc.. and 90s Forest Gump/Pulp Fiction etc.. are remade in twenty years, that'll suck. Originals rule!!!!!!
Texas Mike O'Shea
by Some Dude
Mar 14th, 2007
01:19:41 AM
Butler should play this mysterious character from Snake's past, instead of actually playing Snake, if they have to go ahead with a "re-imagining." He was one of Snake's pals who got fucked over by Brain. Let's see that tragic tale.
Escape from Cleveland!
by Fing Fang Foom
Mar 14th, 2007
01:22:22 AM
Actually, forget it. I like not knowing what happened in that hellhole.
Escape from Cleveland!
by Fing Fang Foom
Mar 14th, 2007
01:22:26 AM
Actually, forget it. I like not knowing what happened in that hellhole.
Texas Mike O'Shea part 2
by Some Dude
Mar 14th, 2007
01:24:07 AM
That way, numerous characters could make reference to Snake being tougher than Texas Mike, giving the film the running gag like "I thought you were dead" or "I thought you'd be taller." Then get a digitally rejuvenated Russell to play Snake in a few key scenes and there we go.
All things considered
by Franklin T Marmoset
Mar 14th, 2007
03:15:32 AM
I coming down on the side of a sequel rather than a remake. I don't have the anger most seem to have about remakes, but I'd love to see Russell play Snake Plissken one more time. It's basically a riff on Clint Eastwood, so if Clint can be craggy as hell and still tough as old boots in Unforgiven, I see no reason why an older Snake won't work.

Come one, Hollywood types, give some thought to Seph_J's Tarantino-directed Escape From Hong Kong. That would be fucking amazing. Tarantino and Russell are buddies now, so any Snake story they come up with would be worth its weight in gold.

P.S. Fuck Benny Hill.

Escape From Benny Hill
by Boba Fat
Mar 14th, 2007
04:08:18 AM
Kurt Russell is chased around a field by the zombified corpse of the "saucy" english comic for 90 minutes. The aging Russell can walk the chase sequence and they can speed the film up later.
hmmmm
by the_shogun_gunslinger
Mar 14th, 2007
04:20:05 AM
dont know if Butler is spot on for the part but i cant complain. the original, as much as i love t, is extremely dated, so this is one i wouldnt mind someone remaking, even tho id much rather have a new "ESCAPE" films with Russel
Righteous Brother....
by Boba Fat
Mar 14th, 2007
05:24:02 AM
I'll send you my script for "Benny Hill Has Eyes" In which the "saucy" zombified, english comic chases a family around the desert for 90 minutes and their clothes fall off.
"Batman" WAY better than "Batman Begins"
by Gozu
Mar 14th, 2007
05:27:59 AM
Not to say "Batman Begins" wasn't a good movie, it was a lot of fun, but "Batman" basically set the stage for the modern comic book movie. There are some really dated elements (Prince, Prince, and Prince), but Keaton's a better Batman because he just seems more generally fucked up and Jack Nicholson is the Joker. The original "Dawn of the Dead" is way better than the remake, which again, is good, but still shouldn't be called "Dawn of the Dead." "Escape from New York" is a damn near perfect B-movie and honestly, I'd rather just see the original film in a theater. I mean, they re-released "Halloween" a few years back, right? I mean, isn't that cheaper and easier?
Big Trouble Escaping from the Ghosts of Precinct 13
by BannedOnTheRun
Mar 14th, 2007
05:30:09 AM
on Halloween! In 3D!
Lo-Pan will still fuck you up
by Kloipy
Mar 14th, 2007
05:41:04 AM
No matter who the fuck you are.
Pah,
by Lost Prophet
Mar 14th, 2007
06:28:11 AM
Still pissed off about this.

The original DAwn of the Dead is way better than the remake- it's just classier and more intelligent. However, there is some fun to be had from the new version.

Fuck Benny Hill- He is a national embarrassment, almost as bad as some of the later carry on movies.

YB- The corpse of tupac playing a zombie MAN CAT King David! Gold I tells Ya!

ESCAPE FROM HOLLYWOOD:
by onemanarmy
Mar 14th, 2007
08:08:59 AM
The Lost Arts of Creativity & Originality.

Nuff said.

Escape From Albert Salmi
by DocPazuzu
Mar 14th, 2007
08:42:57 AM
Or, as others like to call it, Born American.
Why remake the first film?
by Childe Roland
Mar 14th, 2007
08:45:22 AM
I honestly don't have a problem with Butler pulling on the gray camo pants, shinguards and eyepatch for another Snake adventure, but why tell the same story again? That's an effed-up world Plissken lives in, and there's probably plenty more weirdness to relate from it. Hollywood can't really be so far out of ideas already, can they? I mean, they haven't even adapted the Power Pack comic book into a movie yet, why start raping corpses this fresh?
VERN RULES! -translated from the vernacular hobbitish
by Darth_Baltar
Mar 14th, 2007
09:04:22 AM
I am with ya 100% Vern. WTF is PWN about LOL. Some remakes sux, some are better than the original. Ya just gotta wait and see what floats to the top, the cream, or the turd.
Ernest Borgnine
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Mar 14th, 2007
09:11:17 AM
As old Snake Plisken. Hell, I wouldn't have wanted to mess with Rogo in Poseidon Adventure.
Ernest Borgnine
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Mar 14th, 2007
09:15:04 AM
As old Snake Plisken. Hell, I wouldn't have wanted to mess with Rogo in Poseidon Adventure.
Maybe....
by HAL1987
Mar 14th, 2007
10:32:15 AM
it would work better as a TV show - in the original doesn't Snake have 24 hours to save him before the timer in his head goes off?oooh!maybe each episode could be an hour,and it could be in real time?....just a thought...
crap
by Spacekicker2001
Mar 14th, 2007
11:16:59 AM
The problem lies in Kurt Russell personifying (sp?) a character. It'd be like someone remaking Dirty Harry without Clint, or Indiana Jones without Harrison, or Pink Panther without Peter Sell....oh...well I like the original, I don't see a artistic reason to remake it, only a financial one, and really, is that why movies should be made?
this could be good if...
by Kloipy
Mar 14th, 2007
12:01:56 PM
they don't have Snake surfing
I don't get this at all.....
by BillyPilgrim
Mar 14th, 2007
12:43:07 PM
Shut up Mr Burton! You were not brought upon this world to get it! Now who in the holy hell are they going to get to play "The Duke"?? "They sent in their best man, and when we roll across the 59th Street bridge tomorrow, on our way to freedom, we're going to have their best man leading the way - from the neck up!" [cheering erupts] "On the hood of my car!"
Go back to Tralfamadore!
by Kloipy
Mar 14th, 2007
12:51:34 PM
my brains come unstuck
That's a GOOD point...
by Cult Exiter
Mar 14th, 2007
01:31:53 PM
G. Butler ain't a star...

And yet, t-h-e-y want to believe he is!

Who are THEY?! We all know, don't we...

ESCAPE FROM SAN FRANCISCO!

Three words
by onephatnelly
Mar 14th, 2007
03:08:52 PM
For fuck's sake.
I'm sorry, bacci, but just making a commentary...
by Childe Roland
Mar 14th, 2007
05:13:21 PM
...on something doesn't necessarily elevate a film above a similar movie making no commentary on anything beyond what it's depicting.

The allegory in the original Dawn was clumsily drawn in crude, broad strokes that took much of the menace out of the "reality" of the situation in the film.

Watch it again, if you haven't, recently. It isn't quite as laughably, enjoyably bad as Day or as gut-wrenchingly, horribly obvious as Land, but it's crap compared to the subtle, minimalist brilliance of Night (Romero's original, which works on both levels superbly).

The Dawn remake realized how hamstrung the original was by the point it was constantly beating its audience over the head with and recognized that there were the makings of a potentially decent, truly scary and fun film in there somewhere.

Romero tried to make his series of zombie apocalypse films something they just weren't capable of becoming (and legions of fans chanting "more gore!" the way offshoot zombies in the Return franchise chanted "Brains!" didn't help his credibility any). Instead, he created a cascade of diminishing returns both in scares and in subtext.

Fans of his who condemn the remake and extoll the virtues of those latter original Dead films as the social and political points Romero was trying to make really just come off sounding like intellectual poseurs desperately wanting to "get" something that they believe no one else does.

We get it, it just didn't work.

And, before someone accuses me of being anti- the underlying (or, more accurately, overtly overplayed) messages in Romero's films: I bet he and I would agree on many things social and political. I just don't think he'd be able to talk very cleverly about those things.

NO METAL GEAR SOLID...very misleading!
by T 1000 xp professional
Mar 14th, 2007
06:47:36 PM
I thought this was going to give me some news about the Metal Gear Solid pic....Honestly this Gerard Butler as Solid Snake/ Liquid will be a very good choice, almost as good as the Sean Bean pick......What does anybody think of Harrison Ford as Colonel Campbell ; ) ?
PETITION AGAINST REMAKE!
by JohnCarpenterForum.com
Mar 14th, 2007
08:20:46 PM
Sign the petition if you feel the same about the remake! http://www.petitiononline.com/ escapeny/petition.html
you know who i REALLY want to...
by the_shogun_gunslinger
Mar 14th, 2007
09:13:51 PM
stick their dick in a running Go-Cart engine? Hi4life.

i fucking hate you. just thought you should know

Childe
by DocPazuzu
Mar 15th, 2007
03:54:16 AM
Probably the best and - let's be honest, gorehounds - most accurate summation of the zombie movies I've seen. I enjoy the original Dawn a lot, but it's always seemed astoundingly hamfisted in its subtext. That having been said, I was one of the people who hated the idea of a remake and subsequently was very pleasantly surprised when I finally saw it. It hasn't diminished my hatred of modern Hollywood rerapes, however, and I view it as a rare exception to the rule of suckitude.
stupid stupid producer creatures
by 1st and only
Mar 15th, 2007
07:15:02 AM
its been said 100 times already but if people in the industry are reading this and hopefully have half a brain "STOP FUCKING REMAKING GREAT CULT MOVIES!!" they think a remakes gonna appeal to the movie masses? duh.... even john carpenter couldnt remake 'escape from New York' when he tried it with the o.t.t 'escape from L.A' cause it was definatly more of a remake than a sequel.(surfin' pliskin....jeez) still...would make a cool toy
Thanks, Doc. And don't get me wrong...
by Childe Roland
Mar 15th, 2007
10:00:04 AM
...I love George's stuff for what it does succeed in being (Night being brilliant, scary and subtly subversive, the rest having more in common with Night of the Coment and Shaun of the Dead than actual horror).

Creepshow is probably my second favorite thing he ever worked on. Perfect subject and approach for him (and King, really).

And I think you're generally right about remakes tending to suck. But, because of the rare exceptions (like Dawn) I'm usually more willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt and a shot at doing something fresh with the idea. I just don't see that happening with EFNY, though.

The BIG PICTURE
by plisskenman
Mar 15th, 2007
10:46:54 AM
Oh please, all I see here is everybody bashing the fucking movie and it hasnt even been made yet.You know all you asses will be there at the opening anyway. Give the movie a chance, besides I for one am the biggest snake plissken fan out there, and I for one approve of the remake. WHY? 1..the original was a masterpiece but still had some things to be desired, left to the imagination. so obviously with the remake they will make it into the movie it could have been in the first place. Gerard Butler will play a fine snake plissken, he'll just kick ass and talk very little. 2...the BIG PICTURE is that this will be a remake of EFNY and not effect the future of the original series.So.. once all of you go see the movie in the theater and realize that its cool and ok that will translate into a big opening no doubt...thus ....3.Carpenter will get off his ass and realize that with all the money the remake made.plus that grindhouse was also a hit... Part 3 escape from earth can be done and he and russell will get togther and make the 3rd movie. THERE YOU GO.
Um, plisskenman?
by Childe Roland
Mar 15th, 2007
12:11:05 PM
There's no way in Hell, heaven or East St. Louis that, if the EFNY remake gets done, we will EVER see Russell in the role of Snake on the big screen again (unless they pull a young Indy Jones thing and have him narrating a flashback with bookending back-in-prison scenes). What you're suggesting is like saying the success of Batman Begins virtually guarantees another Burton/Keaton Batman movie. Not gonna happen.
Cmon, Childe........
by plisskenman
Mar 16th, 2007
12:07:48 PM
Childe, wasnt the reason why carpenter hasnt done a 3rd movie because after the EFLA bombing at the theaters he thought there wouldnt be any interest in another movie? well all he needs is to wait and see how well the remake of EFNY does. How can you expect him to not want a piece of his own pie again?? remember EFLA was made in 1998 thats almost 10 years ago. movie audiences and SFX have changed.IF they had butler do a EFE, then i would be mad as hell.The batman series has been sequential yes, but with different batmans, so no case there cause the stortlines follow the original of the first. batman begins is a different timeline.
Picks For The Parts in EFNY Remake..
by plisskenman
Mar 16th, 2007
06:17:40 PM
Who besides Butler would you want in the remake?
Kurt Russell has Denounced it!!!!
by havehope
Mar 22nd, 2007
07:40:00 PM
Yes, the REAL Plissken has said it's a load of rubbish. Bring Russell back!!!!!!! NO REMAKE!!!! ESCAPE FROM EARTH/REALITY!!!!!
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