Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Two More Reviews Of HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!

SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE by PervOmatic	Mar 12th, 2007 10:29:19 PM
Duh
first by iwontwin	Mar 12th, 2007 10:30:22 PM
i doubt it
HARRY RAPES SNAPE by Kasch	Mar 12th, 2007 10:30:28 PM
Dur
Also Bruce Willis Is A Ghost by PervOmatic	Mar 12th, 2007 10:30:48 PM
Double Duh
wheres everyone at? by tristeele	Mar 12th, 2007 10:31:35 PM
I'm interested to see how this is. It was my least favorite of all the books. Just took forever to get going. Its overlong by about 200 pages. Anyway the quality on the movies just seems to get better and better.
Awesome by Bean_	Mar 12th, 2007 10:34:47 PM
The first sounded like a huge fan of the series, the second seemed more balanced? Can't wait to see it, I hope WB is offering me preview tickets again!
Attn: tristeele It was okay by PervOmatic	Mar 12th, 2007 10:35:16 PM
But the climax was an extreme Meh-fest for me. The ending was all muddled and left me feeling that it was hastily thrown together. As with the rest of the books, the character development was what carried the whole story and most of that gets lost in translation when it comes to the films.
Umbridge. by AngelCordy	Mar 12th, 2007 10:36:12 PM
What a cunt. I can't WAIT to see her onscreen. BTW, my dad was a high school principal for ten years and said she was his favorite character. I feel like I should be terrified.
bad book...good movie? by Kromag	Mar 12th, 2007 10:36:50 PM
This was my least favorite of the HP books because it seemed like the plot was really dragging, and too much of the book was devoted to the Weasley's harassing Umbridge as opposed to the return of Voldemort. I think that could work to the movie's favor though, because with less 'plot' to condense into it's running time, the movie will probably feel less rushed and patched together than it's predecessors. (Of course, Azkaban and GoF have set the bar pretty high)
Read The Pandora's Box Trilogy by dead youngling	Mar 12th, 2007 10:40:45 PM
I'm watching all of the movies again, and will read the last two books before 7 comes out. Columbus' movies do not hold up well, but they are not bad.
ORDER is proof that Rowling needs an editor with balls by SpyGuy	Mar 12th, 2007 10:43:18 PM
That book needed roughly 200 pages chopped right out of it to tighten it up and improve the overall pacing. But hey, I'm guessing her contract calls for her to be paid by the page, which is probably why Stephen King could stand to lose about 100 pages per book as well.
MEDUSA TURNS BILLY TO STONE! by dead youngling	Mar 12th, 2007 10:44:19 PM
quasi spoiler from Book Two of The Pandora's Box Trilogy: Pillars and Stone. I know the author. I'm sooo busted.
Demented by Mujaki	Mar 12th, 2007 10:44:34 PM
And I suppose that the effects team completely forgot about the creeptastic freezing that the Dementors afflicted upon their surroundings in the Third Film?
GOLLUM BITES OFF FRODO'S FINGER! by Stallion_Cornell	Mar 12th, 2007 10:45:04 PM
Damn you Michael Bay for having to eat.
GOLLUM BITES OFF FRODO'S FINGER! by Stallion_Cornell	Mar 12th, 2007 10:45:04 PM
Damn you Michael Bay for having to eat.
Lord of the Rings a "fucking cartoon"?!? by DarthCorleone	Mar 12th, 2007 10:49:08 PM
You lost me at the ludicrous hyperbole, dude. I don't care how good this is.
Vader is Luke's father, Anakin, who won Boonta Eve by Doctor_Sin	Mar 12th, 2007 10:52:14 PM
Yipee!!!!
Am I really the only who loved this book by Lovecraftfan	Mar 12th, 2007 10:58:06 PM
It was my favorite personally.
Come on you'd think Dudley will learn by now by Orionsangels	Mar 12th, 2007 10:58:10 PM
After everything he's seen Harry do. Who'd believe that Dudley would still torment Harry?
SpyGuy I Agree by PervOmatic	Mar 12th, 2007 10:58:48 PM
The last few books needed to be tighter. When it comes to Stephen King, I expect that hack to churn out pages upon pages of dreadful prose. Rowling had proven herself to be otherwise beforehand, yet her recent works are plodding and overtly contorted plots that need trimming. I thought she was smarter than that.
Orionsangel, Harry isn't supposed to perform magic by terry1978	Mar 12th, 2007 11:04:26 PM
Outside the jurisdiction of the school, and the family is well aware of it. He's slipped a couple times, but they know he can get reprimanded for doing any type of spell outside of the hallowed halls.
Soylent Green is PEOPLE! by Osmosis Jones	Mar 12th, 2007 11:07:11 PM
Oh my God, I was wrong/It was earth all along!
HARRY POTTER SUCKS BALLS!!!! by DHAMAKA2007	Mar 12th, 2007 11:10:38 PM
THE BEST FANTASTY MOVIE BASED ON A NOVEL IS NONE!!!!! 300 is the best graphic novel movie. Everything in the movie was unrealistic, acting was ok but man the action rocked with all the blood and shit. Also all those animals and shit we saw were fantasty characters but well done and integarted into the movie. I hope all 300 type movies are shot in a similar style. FUCK LOTR, HARRY POTTER, NARNIA !!!! My anticipated movies for each month January- NONE February- Ghost Rider (sucked [3/10]) March- 300 (Good [8/10] ) April- NONE May- Spider-Man 3 June- Fantastic 4: Rise of silver surfer July- The simpsons August- The Bourne Ultimatum September- Resident Evil: Extinction October-Not sure what movies coming November-Not sure what movies coming December-AVP 2
Harry 5 by calnorso	Mar 12th, 2007 11:17:22 PM
I can't wait for the Order of the Phoenix to come out! The first 2 movies were too kiddie, however the artistic direction of the last 2 movies have been superb. But even better than Harry Potter 5 will be the Half-Blood Prince, Voldemort's flashback scenes will be awesome I know it
DHAMAKA2007 by Veni Vidi Vici	Mar 12th, 2007 11:21:02 PM
what about Grindhouse in April?
Why rip so much on Columbus? by HomerGator	Mar 12th, 2007 11:24:59 PM
I really get annoyed with all the ripping on the first movies in this series. These movies PERFECTLY mirror the feel of the books. The first book is about an 11 year old and his frame of reference. Second, a 12 year old, and so on. Why do people love the third one so much? Because it's when he starts leaving childhood. Why will this be popular? Because he starts to leave adolescence. Columbus did a fantastic job creating the base for this world. Having new directors put their spin on things works perfect for the feel of these books. But no need to rip Columbus in COMPARING him to the other filmmakers. Those first two books WERE kiddy books. The movies, each one of them, have reflected their source material. Kudos to Hollywood for doing a truly admirable job with a great set of books.
Does Hermione do the Little Miss sunshine dance? by Smokin Doc Cottle	Mar 12th, 2007 11:27:07 PM
I'd buy tickets all day to see that!
First Review's Comments concerning LOTR by Hyphin	Mar 12th, 2007 11:30:55 PM
Seriously man. First of all, you said that the series started strong to 'blow out like a candle'. Really? No seriously, I would love to have the discussion with you. FOTR is my favorite movie of all time (No seriously, Im not just saying that), but ROTK did not 'let down' the series. It was VERY good. AMAZING, in fact. Also, very little in the world of cinema currently contends with the effects which were presented in the Lord of the Rings films. Very little. In fact, George and his folkd would have a hard time keeping up with what WETA did. That took love. Please defend you comments, I would love to know what you think.
and Lovecraft fan by Hyphin	Mar 12th, 2007 11:32:39 PM
its my favorite book too. I am not sure why everyone doesnt like it. It, without a doubt, stood for what the series was REALLY about. Didn't it?
Terry1978 by Hyphin	Mar 12th, 2007 11:35:18 PM
I love how you managed to use the word 'hallow' in your post. NICE.
Dumbledore is alive and well at the end of Phoenix... by zacdilone	Mar 12th, 2007 11:36:18 PM
...so I don't know what you people are talking about. Honestly, I don't. Really.
What's Dr. Zivango? by Forestal	Mar 12th, 2007 11:47:17 PM
I should rent that one.
Saying Harry Potter is better than LOTR? by MikeHoncho	Mar 12th, 2007 11:51:04 PM
I stopped reading that review there- obviously that discredited the review right off the bat. Even if the Harry Potter reviews are getting better, to suggest that :Harry Potter makes LOTR look like a cartoon" is the stupidest statement I have ever heard.
First Take A Shit Guy and now Stupid Fucko by antonphd	Mar 13th, 2007 12:19:56 AM
Moriarty, you are cracking me up too much! But you did ruin that poor guys career as he will now be forever known as Take A Shit Guy... especially since his one other big role is Xerxes who stands looking like a baby who is taking a shit in their diaper.
im excited for this one by amalthea00	Mar 13th, 2007 12:30:00 AM
I was a little wary after that first review, but these and some others have made me feel loads better. I'm kinda sad that Alan Rickman doesn't get much screentime, though. I was really looking forward to those scenes between him and Harry.
LOVE this book by Jaka	Mar 13th, 2007 12:31:01 AM
It's my second favorite of the books so far (3, 5, 6, 4, 2, 1 - GOF might have been higher up the list, but THAT book took forever to get going for me. It's really almost two shorter books squished together. Maybe OOTP is the same, to a certain extent, but I found it to be a more enjoyable read than the kid focused/friendly GOF). Both of these reviews are more what I was looking for. It sounds like the got the right pieces in the movie, and that they might have done a good job with those pieces. Getting more excited now.
The first guy is an asshole by Turnquest	Mar 13th, 2007 12:36:38 AM
The first guy is an idiot, who if not a straight up PLANT, then most certainly is just a doorknob-dumb ass. LAWRENCE OF FUCKIN ARABIA ???!?!?!?! Holy shit, it takes balls to just toss in references like that and Star Wars and shit into a review for a friggin Harry Potter movie. And it's also the worst one. Wayyyy too long, completely unfocused, a waste of a novel, a shitty character death that is done (at least in the book) fairly vaguely, and subplots that are just unnecessary. The whole time in the book, you're waiting for something to happen, but instead we stay with the kids who for the most part are shielded from the real action happening. Instead, we just wait until the end for any sort of insight into this big supposed war and guerilla battles that we know are taking place. Fuck, and Goblet of Fire sucked too.
Lord of the Rings blew out like a candle? by jimmy_009	Mar 13th, 2007 12:37:49 AM
Uh... did you even see the trilogy? WTF?
And it's Azkaban, not Askaban. by jimmy_009	Mar 13th, 2007 12:39:14 AM
Fuck, it was in the -title- of the last movie. Pull your head out of your ass.
Lord of The Rings DID blow out like a candle by Oozer3993	Mar 13th, 2007 12:49:07 AM
He's damn right. I mean, the rotoscoping is just plain bad and the animation looks horrid, even for the 70s. Thank God Peter Jackson came along and gave us a damn near perfect film adaptation.
"Scenography..." by Mrs Danvers	Mar 13th, 2007 12:56:31 AM
Yeah we call that 'mise-en-scene' (from French) or 'blocking' (from threatre) - a term for directing, but meaning only that part of the art concerned with the way the cast (and camera, and moving props like cars, jets, spaceships, bikes, etc,) -- plus animals too I guess! -- are physically moved
FINKLE IS EINHORN! by AshesOfDonnie	Mar 13th, 2007 01:03:24 AM
"Your gun is digging into my hip!"
Voldermort SPOILERS by Craig2574	Mar 13th, 2007 01:05:54 AM
SPOILERS Well Harry did kill 1/7 of Voldermort in Chamber of Secrets. He keeps on coming back because Voldermort did something to cause that to happen
Spider-man 3 trailer on 300... by kintar0	Mar 13th, 2007 01:07:54 AM
why isn't it online yet?
NEO IS THE ONE! by AshesOfDonnie	Mar 13th, 2007 01:14:19 AM
"You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death... Goodbye, Mr. Anderson... "
Thank you, Son of Krypton by MattmanReturns	Mar 13th, 2007 01:46:40 AM
for not insulting other franchises as a means of boosting this one, as Mr. Twit did. And for being able to spell.
OPINIONS by HomerGator	Mar 13th, 2007 02:00:16 AM
Rag rag rag on the guy for giving his opinion. Personally, I somewhat agree with his assessment of the LOTR trilogy. I think the first film is amazing. I think the second film is unwatchably long. I think the third film has so many endings that it completely loses the arc it's been building for three movies totalling 8 hours (longer with the director's cuts). So, who cares if the guy thinks the LOTR sequels weren't as good as the first (I agree). Or that Return Of The Jedi was not as good as Empire (I'm sure more than just myself believe this to be true). In fact, I've heard a lot of bashing of Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade...a movie that I love, yet people bash. How many film series can boast a FIFTH film in the franchise that is better than the previous four? No fair counting reboots like Batman Begins or Superman Returns. Love these films or hate them, they are truly gorundbreaking in what they will have by the end of the 7th and final film. Watching the kids grow, the actors evolve. Almost like a television series. I really dig it.
ROSEBUD IS THE SLED by QuinnTheEskimo	Mar 13th, 2007 02:01:55 AM
Also, um LIAM NEESON IS RA'S AL GHUL. BRAD PITT IS IN ED NORTON'S CRAZY HEAD. GUY PEARCE IS THE GUY HE KEEPS TELLING STORIES ABOUT. That's all I got for now.
BORDEN HAS A TWIN BROTHER by topdeck you	Mar 13th, 2007 02:14:38 AM
mise
THE SHIP IS UNDER SIEGE by Motoko Kusanagi	Mar 13th, 2007 02:19:40 AM
where's the cook when you need one
THE FRATELLI'S ARE COUINTERFEITERS!!!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:26:13 AM
"Fifty dollar bills? FIFTY DOLLAR BILLS!"
DON RICKLES' CHARACTER HAS A TWIN ON HIS HAND!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:28:54 AM
Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
DON RICKLES' CHARACTER HAS A TWIN ON HIS HAND!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:29:24 AM
Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
DON RICKLES' CHARACTER HAS TWIN ON HIS HAND!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:30:46 AM
Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
DON RICKLES' CHARACTER HAS TWIN ON HIS HAND!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:32:17 AM
Two bits to anyone who can name where that one comes from. Hint: There's ventriloquism involved!
FUCK - sorry for the quadruple post by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:33:52 AM
Stupid dial-up.
ALAN STANWYCK IS IN CAHOOTS WITH THE CHIEF by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:36:28 AM
And Stanwyk's a bigamist. SHock and Horror!!!
WOLFMAN HAS NARDS!!!!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:38:46 AM
Which allows them to get the amulet and win. Oh and PHOEBE is the virgin they need.
KONG SHOT ATOP EMPIRE STATE BUILDING!!! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:41:57 AM
Turns out "he" was a she, though, and just frustrated to be living in a time period where loving another woman was not considered "acceptable.". Twas beauty what killed the beast!
ROTK didn't blow out like a candle- those go out faster by TallBoy66	Mar 13th, 2007 02:42:54 AM
Horray for 20 minutes of endings! Huzzah!!! Jump for joy on the bed then sing along then mope along and then hug alot and then stare forlornly and etc. etc. Damn movie shoulda ended when Frodo said, "Its over, its done." Cut to black, roll credits. There's an ending.
Sirius dies by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:46:22 AM
Well, Dumbledore's next. What'd ya expect. Next you'll be surprised Harry dies in Deathly Hallows!
Damn you Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	Mar 13th, 2007 02:47:20 AM
Damn you Michael Bay
"To Serve Man" is... is... a COOKBOOK!!!! by DocPazuzu	Mar 13th, 2007 03:01:02 AM
The Weasleys figuratively bitchsmacking Umbridge makes up for any flaws in the book. Hope they can portray it in a worthy manner in the film.
Finky 089 by RedwingsHoolihan	Mar 13th, 2007 03:33:34 AM
The Tales From the Crypt episode with bobcat goldwaith.
I don't know... by RedwingsHoolihan	Mar 13th, 2007 03:36:45 AM
why I felt the need to answer that.
BRINGINGSEXYBACK = JUGS ON HERMIONE = NIPPLES ON BATMAN by NachoNegro	Mar 13th, 2007 03:45:58 AM
She's going to be a fine looking woman one day, but those rapidly growing mojambos are putting this franchise in danger of jumping the shark. Although that said she is 15 in this. Oh and by the way, BringingSexyBack is homosexual.
Order was one of the better books by only1	Mar 13th, 2007 03:49:55 AM
...actually, my favorite of the series. I read through half of it in one sitting and finished it off pretty quickly. It's the one I can't wait to see the adaptation of. I think Mr. Twit was just using literary comparicons when calling LOTR a "cartoon." I imagine he liked the movies and used said it to pay a compliment to the Potter movies. Kinda funny how all of Peter Jackson's wanna=be-man-lovers here got their panties in a twist. Want to hear an accurate desription of LOTR??? Go rent Clerks 2 and watch the scene where Randall pisses off the hobbit.
At least Mr Twit.... by Kizeesh	Mar 13th, 2007 03:53:16 AM
admits he isn't a very good reviewer. Thats more than most do. I think Order will make a decent enough movie. It's certainly the most densely plotted of the books, which sadly means Half-Blood Prince will be ever more crap in comparison, being 400 pages of filler.
BSB I'm sure you can find Malfoy Ass Raping Fanfic by DOGSOUP	Mar 13th, 2007 03:57:13 AM
But what these reviews fail to tell me EXACTLY how Natalia Tena as Tonks is THE SEX.
Leia is Luke's sister by Poopoodio	Mar 13th, 2007 04:00:21 AM
Harry Potter eats cocks, and is a stupid series. However, the girl in it could eat my cock whenever she likes.
Leia is Luke's sister by Poopoodio	Mar 13th, 2007 04:00:53 AM
Harry Potter eats cocks, and is a stupid series. However, the girl in it could eat my cock whenever she likes.
poopoodio by board shitlez	Mar 13th, 2007 04:07:54 AM
But could she eat it twice? The problem with this book is highlighted in this direct quote: "Harry stomped angrily into the kitchen. He was angry, picking up his robe angrily and clutching the door knob with an angry snarl before angrily striding through the door, slamming it shut with an angry fierce angriness. It made quite a noise, and that's because he was so angry."
LAURA PALMER'S DAD KILLER HER!!!! by DOGSOUP	Mar 13th, 2007 04:14:29 AM
But I had a shirt that said I did.
Danielle Radcliff as Roland!!! by Flip63Hole	Mar 13th, 2007 04:21:17 AM
And Steve Guttenberg as Oy.
"Emma Thompson is back from the Askaban movie too" by newc0253	Mar 13th, 2007 04:23:32 AM
where the fuck do you keep finding these reviewers Mori? they write like twelve year olds.
Kristin Shepard shot J.R.! by DocPazuzu	Mar 13th, 2007 04:33:18 AM
Yes, I'm old.
GOOD by lionbiu	Mar 13th, 2007 04:54:40 AM
The first review pissed me off a bit...Sirius is Harry's GODFATHER not uncle and it's Azkaban. The movie seems o triump where the book suffered tremendously....I don't understand people who call it their favourite book...especially after the genius of Prisoner of Azkaban, the intensity of Goblet of Fire or the sheer creepiness of Half-Blood (which could have done with some editing too). Order of the Phoenix was a mediocre book which had few redeeming features.
I sat next to Helena Bonham Carter in a cafe in Soho. by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 06:34:05 AM
She was talking to a friend about this film and she sounded seriously excited, aside from her thinking it was going to be the coolest of the 5 she was also please to be involved with such talent, she was literally buzzing up and down, until I asked her for an autograph and then she stopped smiling and told me to fuck off!, dark wizards eh?
Phoenix is the best book by Col. Tigh-Fighter	Mar 13th, 2007 06:50:26 AM
he ending, if dine right, should seriously rock. The showdown between Fiennes and that guy is a classic if done right.
why Order of the Phoenix is a good book: by newc0253	Mar 13th, 2007 07:10:57 AM
i wrote this in the other talkback but had to use it agin: yeah, it's much grimmer than many of the previous books but then it's meant to be. Goblet of Fire was building up to a triumphal finish when suddenly Harry gets teleported to human sacrifice central and gets to watch Voldermort's grisly revivification. that should be enough to fuck anyone up for the summer (one of the many faults of Newell's Goblet of Fire film was its failure to capture this shift in tone from triumph to despair). OotP begins on this dark note, and gets darker: not only is he being oddly isolated from all his friends but he comes back to school and everyone acts like nothing's happened. worse, they think he's a liar. much of the book is an exercise in persecution and self-doubt. and the culmination of OotP is basically the same as Empire Strikes Back: the hero choses rash action over wisdom and restraint and ends up getting tricked into an unnecessary confrontation that results in the loss of someone close. like the ending of Goblet of Fire, it's an antidote to the the easy trimphalism of the earlier books, when Harry always triumphs despite the odds. this time, the odds bite him in the ass, knock him down, and continue to kick him while he's laying there. OotP isn't perfect: like all the later Harry Potter books, it could use a good editor, and the whole teenage anger thing gets a little worn (although perhaps it's meant to). but i reckon OotP is probably the most underrated Potter book and, if done right, could be one of the strongest films.
Movies have underplayed Snape too much by Drath	Mar 13th, 2007 07:28:20 AM
His rivalry with Harry's father has been lost, his relationship to Black and Lupin wasn't even established for their encounter in PoA (nor was the meaning of Harry's petronus or the makers of the Map), and yet even knowing the Harry/Snape rivalry needs to be building for the next movie, they STILL barely use him in this movie? I am so sick of reading "we don't get much of Snape" for every fucking movie. I think the movie writers are idiots. A little goes a long way, but sometimes too little is just too little. I this case, too little writing talent. **************************** ** Also, that first reviewer should be ignored since he obviously just wanted to use a cliche about franchises getting worse with time and lumped anything that was another franchise in as an example. He probably said Star Wars and the Matrix when he saw Return of the King, and will probably mention the Harry Potter franchise getting worse when he plants...I mean, reviews Pirates of the Carribean 3.
Bruce Willis is a ghost! by just pillow talk	Mar 13th, 2007 07:29:42 AM
Can't believe he didn't notice. "Oswald was a fag."
agreed Drath by just pillow talk	Mar 13th, 2007 07:34:10 AM
Understanding the need to cut out/down on some parts of the books, the lack of Snape is not a good idea.
Too Assrapey!!! by boba_rob	Mar 13th, 2007 08:09:05 AM
Hi-o!!
Soylent Green is People!!! by boba_rob	Mar 13th, 2007 08:09:32 AM
It's People!!
The planet of the apes is really future earth! by boba_rob	Mar 13th, 2007 08:10:01 AM
Gasp!
Rosebud is a sled! by boba_rob	Mar 13th, 2007 08:10:37 AM
A f***ing sled, but a nice one.
Oldboy fucked his own daughter by Jumping Windows	Mar 13th, 2007 08:11:56 AM
What a retarded movie.
WAIT...ROSEBUD WAS A SLED...???? by Gunslinger1919	Mar 13th, 2007 08:19:52 AM
I thought it was a vagna....! --G
That's a good one...! by Damned if I can login	Mar 13th, 2007 08:30:07 AM
"Thank God Peter Jackson came along and gave us a damn near perfect film adaptation." BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! Thanks man...I really needed a good laugh this early in the morning! Oh, and I, to would pay to see Malfoy Jr. get assraped. Now that's comedy!
E.T. GOES BACK HOME ON A SPACESHIP by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 08:33:31 AM

Harry is Tony Blair by kevinwillis.net	Mar 13th, 2007 08:40:00 AM
Ron Weasley is George Bush. Hermione represents Margaret Thatcher. Dudley represents Michael Moore. Damn all the politics in these movies! Plus, the homoerotic relationship between Ron and Harry is a little over the top. When Harry tell's Ron: "I just do not know how I might quit you," and the pulls his pants down, it just ruins the magic of it for me.
believability by Tsubame Gunkan	Mar 13th, 2007 08:42:25 AM
Order of the Phoenix was my favorite book right up until no one from Harry's group of friends died or was mamed. So you are telling me that the Death Eaters who have been masters at the dark arts for years and kill and mame people just for fun couldn't take out any of Harry's Phoenix groupies who had only been training on defense against the dark arts for like 9 months. I still cant get around this. Someone explain to me how these Death Eaters should even be feared if these little unexperienced punks can stop them. You would think that all the adults would just go mop the floor with Death Eaters.
It takes 250 pages to get to school. by jimbojones123	Mar 13th, 2007 08:45:41 AM
What a load of crap this book was. It took nearly the length of the first book for Harry to start the next year of schooling and the book to actually start. I agree, get an editor. The other 600 pages pretty slow too. "Snape kills Dumbledore" (HP6) a little faster read. Hope "Harry Potter Dies" (HP7) is better. "Harry Potter's Friend Dies Really Fast" is still my favorite book.
Elton John is gay by Forestal	Mar 13th, 2007 08:47:49 AM
...
Spoiler Warning by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 09:01:34 AM
Saw this last week, they made it a little more "kid-friendly" Dumbledore doesn't die, he just gets knocked out for awhile
darth by lionbiu	Mar 13th, 2007 09:02:25 AM
....I agree slightly but Snape was underused in the Ootp Book anyway. I don't think the wirters are idiots, just that more than one screenwriter should be used.
Kloipy by jimbojones123	Mar 13th, 2007 09:10:40 AM
Yer dumb.
jimbo by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 09:12:46 AM
thanks man, i feel i can now take on the world with that Bush-like comment. Down with rednecks
what was so great about POA by Pixy0116	Mar 13th, 2007 09:15:21 AM
Everyone talks about how Azkaban was the best when it was the one movie the least like the book (which happens to be one of my favorites in the series) I mean so many important things were left out that i worried how the future directors and screenwrites would be able to tell the story. GOF was awesome and much more like what I expected from the HP franchise. If OOTP is anything like 4 then I'm set! I can't wait to see the Weasley Twins taking flight from Hogwarts and Harry leading the DA.
Who the hell thinks Goblet of Fire is the best HPmovie? by anchorite	Mar 13th, 2007 09:30:00 AM
WHY? It was a boring, unimaginative piece of dung. They skipped past a lot of the cool stuff in the book and managed to make the Triwizard tasks boring as hell. And Dumbledore was portrayed as nothing more than a crotchety old man with really dirty nails and a bad temper. In many ways, it was the worst film of the series thus far. So when I hear these guys saying that this movie was "even better than Goblet of Fire", I can only say that wouldn't be hard to accomplish.
whoever said J.K. Rowling needs an editor by Lost Prophet	Mar 13th, 2007 09:38:15 AM
with balls is spot on. However, you find me a career editor at bloomsbury who is going to have the guts to say "I'm sorry Miss Rowling, but can you trim 300 odd pages of self-indulgent tripe out of this bloated novel?" I also wonder why nobody ever picks up on the blatant Gollum-speak that she gives Kreacher. Not a good book.
LOTR, and HP by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 09:46:09 AM
are the most over rated crap fests of all times. Why ruin books with stupid movie adaptations that can't grasp what the human imagination is capable of. Also Star Wars movies are the worst movies of all time. I'd rather be forced to watch Monkeybone over and over again than to ever listen to some fucking muppet talk about the "force" or a bunch of dickheads prancing around.
THE WORM IS THE SPICE!!! by Prague23	Mar 13th, 2007 09:48:38 AM
Goblet of Fire was a terrible movie because it showed you what happened but not why (you don't even know who won the Quiddich World Cup from watching the film!). And in many cases it removed the meaning from those events that the film showed and worse yet, changed their meaning! It removed Dobby and that whole motif with Hermione's worker's rights movement and I'm sure that Phoenix will change a lot of the plot as well to conveinantly push the story forward like Goblet did. Obviouslly a lot will left off the screen but I hope what's there in this film actually contains the meaning it's supposed to instead of just looking nice. Soooo much great stuff with Snape (and others) was left out of Goblet I can't fuckin believe it. The foot-caught-in-the-staircase scene when Harry's got on the invisibility cloak for instance. But as long as Ginny gets a lot of screen time I'll keep my list of complaints pleasantly to myself, maybe. But I hope Harry's lines are heavily edited and carefully selected from the book because all that fucking whining he does makes him sound like a AICN talkbacker and nobody wants to see or hear a film about those people!
Lois Lane Gets Killed by Snookeroo	Mar 13th, 2007 09:54:22 AM
But Superman reverses everything by flying around the earth backwards real fast. Image taking a dump at that precise moment.
Goblet should have started at the Cup by jimbojones123	Mar 13th, 2007 10:02:02 AM
Ball flying through the hoop or Krum smashing an Irish dude into the ground. Much better than snakey. Could have held Snake part for later. Whoever said these movies start boring was spot on too. This open sounds great though.. Oh and the Yer Dumb was "dumb" as in funny. Like "your so stupid". In case you didn't know Dumbledore dies in 6 not 5. So I thought you were being silly. Guess I was wrong. My sarcasm is recended. Love you though.
love is everywhere by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 10:04:45 AM
well thanks :)
SECRET OF THE CRYING GAME by Gengar	Mar 13th, 2007 10:11:09 AM
IT'S A DUDE!
Fiennes and that other guy... by purplemonkeydw	Mar 13th, 2007 10:15:09 AM
Classic. Gambon is a total badass. I've liked him in pretty much anything, but talk about range? How about playing a president from Texas and pulling it off (see HBO LBJ PDQ). Oh, and your mom.
This series needs to end by Itchy	Mar 13th, 2007 10:17:05 AM
and Emma Watson needs to change her image by ripping her shirt off and showing those tits. Isn't that legal in UK movies at her age ? Whatever, all I've got to say is whoever cast her had a pretty damn good eye for talent.
UMBRIDGE LIVES! by ROBE	Mar 13th, 2007 10:18:56 AM
As I said before OotP was not my favourite book in the series, what with a moaning Harry and the fact that Umbridge doesn't get killed by the Centaurs at the end. WHY?
hey itchy by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 10:20:44 AM
are you on the Megan's Law list?
THE EWOKS THINK C3PO IS A GOLDEN GOD, EVERYBODY PARTIES by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:26:00 AM

"at this point I think I'm spoiling it too much" by Trazadone	Mar 13th, 2007 10:26:38 AM
You think? Jesus, this isn't a review it's a 4th grade book report (e.g., "and this happened, and then this happened..."). Jesus, Harry, how about only posting reviews from people who have actually read the books? I'm so sick of people saying things like, "And then a blonde girl did this..." What poorly written reviews.
THE HERO OVERCOMES ADVERSITY AND WINS THE GIRL by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:28:02 AM

COMMISSIONER GORDON HAS A BEER AND CHEETS ON HIS WIFE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:29:48 AM

From someone who has read the books by Trazadone	Mar 13th, 2007 10:29:53 AM
This film is based on arguably the worst book in the series. Even J.K. acknowledges that she experienced "writer's block" when she worked on it and it shows. As someone noted above, they don't even get to the school for half the book and by the end of the story not all that much happens. Book 6 was terrific, however, and I look forward to seeing it on the screen.
MALFOY JR. HAS AN INSATIABLE PENCHANT FOR by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:32:06 AM
aw, forget it.
IT WAS ALL JUST A DREAM, A CRAZY MAGICAL DREAM by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:32:51 AM

DANNY NOONAN SINKS THE PUTT, EVERYBODY GETS LAID by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:34:13 AM

DECKER LOVES RACHEL, BUT HE'S A REPLICANT TOO by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:36:18 AM

BOB NEWHART WAKES UP NEXT TO SUZANNE PLESHETTE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:38:37 AM

Potter needs to be a TV series. by veritasses	Mar 13th, 2007 10:39:49 AM
I've said this before but the Potter books have way too many rich, interesting stories and characters to shoe-horn into a 3-hr movie. Make each book a full season (American because they have the $$ for the effects) TV series and it'll be a huge hit.
THE SHARK EXPLODES, AND THEY SWIM BACK ON FLOTSAM by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:42:18 AM
or is it jetsam.
SAM LOOMIS SHOOTS SHAPE SIX TIMES ! ! ! by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 10:44:35 AM
and there's not a GTAS mask in sight.
The age issue by BizarroJerry	Mar 13th, 2007 10:50:55 AM
I don't know why people think that the actors will get too old to play kids. They'll probably only end up being a few years older than the characters are supposed to be. Hollywood regularly casts 25-30 year olds as high school kids. What's the difference?
BSB/Brokeback Cowboy: Troll for the Ages... by anchorite	Mar 13th, 2007 10:57:57 AM
Legend will speak of the multi-username TBer with a tongue of lead and a wit of marshamallow. Okay, probably he'll fade into obscurity. But whatever. I swear, I think the guy has a real mental problem. He feels he has to lash out at others for his life's shortcomings. Maybe someday he'll learn his own worst enemy is really himself. But I doubt it. Unless he converts to Judaism.
He denies being Brokeback by Lost Prophet	Mar 13th, 2007 11:02:02 AM
I asked. And Everything.
Mr Twit is a TWAT by powervideo	Mar 13th, 2007 11:03:10 AM
"How many times do we see other big franchises (Stars Wars, Lord of the Rings, etc.) start off with a bang and then blow out like a candle?" Ms Twat, you idiotic windbag, LOTR's last film, Return of the King, won two billion oscars including Best Picture. How is that "blowing out like a candle"? What a dildo-ish hater. And a rank amatuer review at that.
A BELL RINGS, CLARENCE GETS HIS WINGS. by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 11:04:40 AM
That's right, Zuzu.
RIPLEY BLOWS THE AIR-LOCK, QUEEN SUCKED OUT TO SPACE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 11:08:14 AM

Redwing, I tip my proverbial hat to you by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:28:20 AM
I'll Paypal you the 2 bits....;)
re: Damned if I can login by Ingeld	Mar 13th, 2007 11:28:35 AM
You said, "Oh, and I, to would pay to see Malfoy Jr. get assraped" From what I have been told you can probably download a lot of homosexual porn for free on the internet. Of course, if you can't stay away from the the pedophilia stuff you should get therapy. By the way, all three of Jackson's LOTR movies were great (not perfect) but great.
The Nazis die when they open the Ark; Belloq explodes by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:30:04 AM
Toht melts away like a Cadbury creme egg on a 100 degreee Easter day.
JOE IS THE "JEWEL"; OMAR DIES A FIERY DEATH! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:31:03 AM
Devito becomes a Suppi.
Norman Bates is his own mother! by Blanket-Man	Mar 13th, 2007 11:31:56 AM
So says Ralph Malph! Actually, he said "Tony Perkins is his own mother!" DUH!
MICHAEL CORRLEONE TAKES OVER FOR DEAD DAD by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:33:31 AM
Sonny gets gunned down at a tollbooth. Moe Green's out of the Tropicana.
Christ returns, the dead rise and are judged. . . by Ingeld	Mar 13th, 2007 11:33:40 AM
the damned are cast into Hell. The faithful enter heaven. Wait a second. That's not a movie. That's how the world will end. Sorry, I should have put a spoiler alert up.
Dr. Zivango... by rev_skarekroe	Mar 13th, 2007 11:33:59 AM
...wasn't he in Planet of the Apes?
AUDREY II IS A MEAN GREEN MOTHER FROM OUTERSPACE! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:34:42 AM
Seymour and Audrey originally died, though.
THE GRIZWALDS MAKE IT TO WALLYWORLD, BUT IT'S CLOSED by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:38:10 AM
They kidnap John Candy and force him to open thew rides for them. Mr. Wally is a nice guy about the whole thing.
THE GRIZWALDS MAKE IT BACK FROM EUROPE! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:38:57 AM
Audrey and Jack break up (i think....?)
GRACE DIED THIRTY YEARS AGO by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:39:54 AM
Clark gets a year-long subscription to the "Jelly of the Month" club
GWYNETH'S HEAD IS IN THE BOX IN THE FILED! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:41:25 AM
Pitt shoots Spacey anyway.
GWYNETH'S HEAD IS IN THE BOX IN THE FIELD! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 11:41:46 AM
Pitt shoots Spacey anyway. (this is probably gonna double-post.)
ALEX GETS CURED, ALRIGHT by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 11:45:44 AM

DAVE BECOMES A COSMIC BABY by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 11:46:42 AM

OTTO FLIES OFF IN THE CAR WITH MILLER by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 11:48:15 AM

SID AND NANCY BOTH DIE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 11:48:50 AM

CORINNE BURNS REFORMS THE FABULOUS STAINS by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 11:49:33 AM

THE CASTAWAYS FINALLY GET OFF THE ISLAND by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 11:53:34 AM
But then return to make it a resort.
MUPPETS DO TAKE MANHATTAN by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:02:52 PM
Animal becomes Boss Tweed 2.0
SALIERI IS THE MAN IN BLACK by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:03:28 PM
Mozart shoots his dad and joins the Texas Rangers.
VINCENT VEGA SHOT ELVIS STYLE (on the shitter) by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:04:54 PM
Jules enjoys a tasty burger
RALPHIE GETS HIS RED RYDER BB GUN by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:05:32 PM
Randy get a frickin zepplin (whoopee!)
FLASH DRIVES A NEEDLENOSE SHIP INTO MING'S BODY by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:06:30 PM

CAPTN MAUZER'S ACADEMY LOSES TO LASSARD'S by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:06:59 PM
Mahoney always wins.
TRAVIS BECOMES A HERO AND DRIVES OFF by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:08:18 PM
But, it might all be a dying vision or it might be real - no one knows.
JOHN AND RUSSELL SAVE THEIR PLATOON IN CZECH by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:08:56 PM
Captn Stillman is banished to research in the South Pole. Sgt Hulka and John get together for drinks and a Sunday BBQ
THE DANCE ACADEMY IS RUN BY WITCHES by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:11:24 PM
And the Directress is the Ancient Witch.
MCLAINE BLOWS UP THE PLANE AS IT TAKES OFF by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:11:53 PM
Stuart and Esperanza die a fiery death. Dulles re-opens. An old lady kicks Thornburg in the nuts.
THELMA AND LOUISE DRIVE THE CAR OFF A CLIFF by QuinnTheEskimo	Mar 13th, 2007 12:12:11 PM
Butch & Sundance die. Bonnie and Clyde die. The martians, it turns out, are allergic to being on Earth. Spock dies. Viggo Mortenson actually IS Joey.
JOHN SAXON KILLS THE KILLER THEN BECOMES THE KILLER by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:13:00 PM
And the first killer is the gay journalist.
SANDRA BULLOCK FALLS ON HER ASS AND IS CURED OF RACISM by QuinnTheEskimo	Mar 13th, 2007 12:13:58 PM
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
LANE MEYER GETS THE FRENCH GIRL! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:14:49 PM
Johhny never gets his Two Dollars
IN ADDITION TO BEING JOEY by QuinnTheEskimo	Mar 13th, 2007 12:15:05 PM
Viggo Mortenson kills the fuck out of everybody, except his wife, who he just fucks the fuck out of.
TONY LEUNG LIVES AND SAILS AWAY ON HIS BOAT by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:15:50 PM

JAMES BOND GETS REPEATEDLY HIT IN THE BALLS WITH A ROPE by QuinnTheEskimo	Mar 13th, 2007 12:16:48 PM
But you bet your ass he will return.
SINBAD ESCAPES FROM ISLAND OF COLLOSSA by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:17:44 PM
He gets the princess and they set Burani the genie free.
JERRY MITCHELL WINS THE FIGHT by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:18:35 PM
And Buddy Revell is one of the guys who buys stuff from the school store to help them rebuild and recover the stolen money.
DANIEL LARUSO BEATS JOHNNY WITH CRANE KICK by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:20:38 PM
He should be put in a body bag, nyeh-heh-heh-heh-heh
TOM HANKS WISHES TO BE A KID AGAIN by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:22:17 PM
Is he still friends with Liz Perkins?
THE HEADMASTER IS SHOT BY MICK'S GIRL by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:22:21 PM

JOE BEATS THE VOLCANO; ENDS UP WITH MEG RYAN by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 12:22:44 PM

DIRK DIGGLER WHIPS IT OUT ON CAMERA by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:23:28 PM

SEPHIROTH KILLS AERITH by dtpena	Mar 13th, 2007 12:24:31 PM
A
THE TITANIX SINKS by Lost Prophet	Mar 13th, 2007 12:25:08 PM
Bet you never saw that one coming.
whoops by Lost Prophet	Mar 13th, 2007 12:25:39 PM
THE TITANIC SINKS, even.
Critters eat people by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 12:29:14 PM
come back 3 more times
LIGHT BRIGADE MASSACRED; CAPT. NOLAN KILLED by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:31:40 PM

Nilbog is Goblin backwards by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 12:32:34 PM
stoners rejoice
ONLY KAZAN MAKES IT OUT OF THE CUBE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:36:56 PM

CLAY SHAW IS FOUND NOT GUILTY by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:40:37 PM

awesome by ej020506	Mar 13th, 2007 12:41:35 PM
book five is my one of m fave book and looks like this movie is (at last) going to give it justice!
NICHOLAS CAGE DRINKS HIMSELF TO DEATH by Sidius	Mar 13th, 2007 12:42:45 PM
This is probably the most ridiculous thread collapse in the history of AICN. Ever. Oh and I am stoked for Potter...sounds great
PAUL JOINS UXIA UNDERWATER AS A SERVANT OF DAGON by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:42:49 PM

Doctor Sin by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 12:43:31 PM
I'm so happy you mentioned Dagon
Mr Anderson is the One by Teamwak	Mar 13th, 2007 12:47:51 PM
.
There is nothing missing from POA by Frijole	Mar 13th, 2007 12:48:07 PM
that can't be explained with a few lines of dialogue in this movie. I wouldn't be surprised if they saved Harry's dad's history with Sirius and the "Marauders" for this movie... If they focus on Harry and Sirius' relationship in this movie (which would be compounded by explaining things that were unexplained in POA) it makes the ending SPOILER that much more heartbreaking. I think they may have intentionally left that info out of the POA movie so as to give Harry and Sirius more to discuss and a closer bond in the OOTP movie.
EDWARD NORTON IS BRAD PITT IS EDWARD NORTON by Sidius	Mar 13th, 2007 12:48:20 PM
Mischief. Mayhem. Soap.
Peter Parker is Spiderman by Teamwak	Mar 13th, 2007 12:48:26 PM
.
Clark Kent is Superman by Teamwak	Mar 13th, 2007 12:49:11 PM
.
Sylvester Stalone takes Human Growth Hormone by Teamwak	Mar 13th, 2007 12:52:00 PM
Not quite the ending, but close. Sly, whatcha doing smuggling hormones, you fool!
SUTTER CANE"S BOOK PUBLISHED; TRENT GOES INSANE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:52:13 PM
Kloipy, we Elder Ones gotta stick together, ya know? ;)
Ryan Seacrest is Douchebag by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 12:52:18 PM
well, he is
SATAN IS AN ANCIENT LIQUID UNDER THE CHURCH by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:53:04 PM
And mirrors are dimensional portals.
Garbage Pail Kids are annoying by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 12:54:20 PM
not the ending, they just piss me off
THE COP AND "GOD" ARE BROTHER ALIENS by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:54:24 PM
Or something like that...
Beast of Gévaudan is an armored lion. by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 12:57:05 PM

Cannibal's get revenge by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 12:59:01 PM
but we are the true savages
THE TECHNO-CORE LIVES WITHIN THE FARCASTER SYSTEM... by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 12:59:33 PM
...as long as we're spoiling things.
JACEN KILLS MARA by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:00:41 PM
gotta love advance copies...
RUGEN IS THE 6-FINGERED MAN by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:02:02 PM

Laura set-up Emily by Teamwak	Mar 13th, 2007 01:03:21 PM
Know it?
WEIRD AL AND FRIENDS KEEP THE TV STATION by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:03:45 PM

THE PRIEST IS THE WEREWOLF by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:04:34 PM

Holy Crap by jimbojones123	Mar 13th, 2007 01:05:14 PM
I am laughing my fanny off.
JACEN KILLS MARA by jimbojones123	Mar 13th, 2007 01:06:28 PM
Star Wars Books?
ELAINE RUNS OFF WITH BENJAMIN, MID-WEDDING by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:07:00 PM

NED STARK IS NOT DEAD (FEATURED IN ADWD) by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:07:37 PM
his headless body fucks his zombie wife. winter is coming.
LINUS MISTAKES SNOOPY FOR GREAT PUMPKIN by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:09:27 PM

Ned kills his mother by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:10:15 PM
Go steve Go
NORMAN BATES IS HIS OWN DEAD MOTHER by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:12:02 PM

RICHARD NIXON RESIGNS by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:12:58 PM

RICHARD NIXON DENIS ALSO RESIGNS by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:14:21 PM
.
Jason Takes Manhatten by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:14:35 PM
dies in sewer
BLONDIE FREES TUCO A FINAL TIME & SPLITS THE GOLD by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:14:45 PM

Mickey Rourke fucks his own daughter. by shellfishh	Mar 13th, 2007 01:14:51 PM
I mean, Lisa Bonet in "Angel Heart". Who the hell knows what he did in real life?
She's her sister.... by shellfishh	Mar 13th, 2007 01:15:39 PM
.
She's her daughter... by shellfishh	Mar 13th, 2007 01:16:03 PM
.
THE KID SINGS PURPLE RAIN, AND BRINGS DOWN THE HOUSE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:16:08 PM

She's her sister..... by shellfishh	Mar 13th, 2007 01:16:27 PM
SLAP!
mom drops macauly by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:16:33 PM
saves frodo
OPTMUS PRIME HAS FLAMES ON HIS NIPPLES by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:17:08 PM
where's the TINO TINO TINO guy at these days?
BILL KILLED by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:17:14 PM

VOGONS COLLAPSE, EARTH REBUILT by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:17:56 PM
Arthur and pals get back on the Heart of Gold. And the Infinite Improbability Drive effect turns into Douglas Adams' face.
SNOOP TAKES THE SOUL PLANE FOR ONE MORE RIDE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:18:17 PM

David bowie has sex with 14 year old by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:20:19 PM
isn't that what that movie was about?
LADY VAN TASSEL CONTROLS THE HORSEMAN by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:20:31 PM

Bastian rides Falcore like a korean prostitute by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:21:05 PM
on arbor day
LORENZO GETS HIS OIL, AFTER ALL. by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:21:58 PM

BILL MURRAY LEAVES TOKYO by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:24:06 PM

CROCKET AND TUBBS CUDDLE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:25:55 PM

DONNY DIES - ASHES GET BLOWN IN DUDE'S FACE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:26:08 PM

Koopa De-evolved by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:26:14 PM
Princess comes back with bad attitude
BABY NOT PUT IN THE CORNER by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:26:47 PM

IRON GIANT'S PARTS REASSEMBLE THEMSELVES by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:27:39 PM

parents trap killers a' la home alone style by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:28:29 PM
dad uses chainsaw
THE SPORTS TEAM IMPROBABLY WINS THE BIG GAME AFTER ALL by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:29:38 PM

C. THOMAS HOWELL IS A WHITE GUY ! ! ! by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:30:36 PM

Hobbits make it home; have sex by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:31:14 PM
with each other
Ace Venture pops black cherry by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:32:16 PM
hiliarity ensues
JENNIFER CONNELLY GETS NUDE, BUT NOT IN A GOOD WAY by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:34:19 PM
AICN loyalists scarred for life...,
HAROLD & KUMAR GET TO WHITE CASTLE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:35:38 PM

AMAZING PIG HERDS SHEEP INTO PEN ON NATIONAL TELEVISION by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:35:45 PM

Toxie rips mayor's intestines out by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:36:00 PM
hiliarity still ensues
MARTY MAKES BIFF HIS BITCH, GETS NEW TRUCK by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:36:50 PM

THE MONEY IS IN THE RABBI'S CHAIR, NOT HIS BED by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:37:20 PM
And, yeah - nine guys die.
DANNY AND SANDY DRIVE CAR INTO SKY, TURN AND WAVE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:38:27 PM

THE FIFTH ELEMENT IS "LOVE" by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:38:30 PM

THE FONZ IS NOT COOL by THX1977	Mar 13th, 2007 01:39:23 PM
And i know what happens at the end of Harry Potter series
bruce willis sees himself die by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:39:33 PM
tg
RICHARD DREYFUSS GETS ON SPACESHIP, INTERIOR IS DULL by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:40:36 PM

JOHN BENDER DOES THE BLACK POWER SALUTE ON THE FIELD by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:41:36 PM

all freaks turned normal except by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:42:46 PM
stewie and keanu the dog boy
KIM BASINGER RECLAIMS HER DIGNITY, LEAVES MICKEY ROURKE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 01:42:51 PM

POPEYE WALKS ON WATER...BRIEFLY by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:43:24 PM
somebody owes us an apology for that movie.
Chloe sucks some dick by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:43:37 PM
Vincent Gallo hates everyone
MR GREEN, IN THE HALL, WITH THE REVOLVER by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:44:33 PM
and he's not gay (because it was still the 80s).
Is this R-rated by Kusoyaro	Mar 13th, 2007 01:44:41 PM
So they can actually show Umbridge being raped by the centaurs, or is it just implied, like in the book?
YOUNG LADY CHATTERLY HOSTS AN ORGY by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:45:23 PM

mr. green wasn't gay by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:46:19 PM
he went home to sleep with his wife
HARRY POTTER FINALE ENDING SPOILER by THX1977	Mar 13th, 2007 01:46:29 PM
He goes home, he shoots his father. An' he runs away. An' - an' he joins the Texas- Rangers. How about that?
Explorers meet dumb aliens, ethen hawke by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:46:56 PM
flys around with girl
MAXIMILLIAN DEFEATED; CYGNUS ENTERS BLACK HOLE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:48:03 PM

davey hogan just pukes, thx by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:49:19 PM
hahahaha
Dark City is in space by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:50:18 PM
Mr. Book is dead
KIRK SHOOTS GOD WITH PHOTON TORPEDOES by QuinnTheEskimo	Mar 13th, 2007 01:51:05 PM
Or something. I didn't really get Final Frontier.
SPOCK DIES AND RETURNS A MONK by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 01:53:00 PM
Well he does, also Klompy has anyone told you yet that he dies in book 6 not 5.?
John Goodman kills spiders by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:53:26 PM
eats a whole ham
NATHAN LANES CHARACTER IN THE BIRDCAGE IS GAY by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 01:54:16 PM
You can hardly tell during the film though.
yeah they did by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:54:20 PM
I was just making that shit up anyhow
THE PHONE CALL IS FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 01:55:17 PM

cool ok by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 01:55:39 PM
I get anal about stuff like that.
after the nathan lane comment I'm sure you do by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:57:25 PM
Just kidding
the game was just a game by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 01:59:53 PM
who saw that coming
DUNNING IS OSTERZONE by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 01:59:53 PM
and hyde does not meet his former partner in the hotel, but he does leave with the teenage hottie.
oh im a total homo by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:02:58 PM
I love the cock, I was meaning that the thought of someone thinking poor Dumbledore met his seeming fate in this film and it had been cut would drive me mad though.
what, what, what by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:04:26 PM
is that really right about the descent, i thought it was a load of gollums?, scary movie i thought.
there were monsters in descent by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:07:23 PM
but she also went crazy
Ricky Ritardo, great username! by Snake Foreskin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:08:50 PM
You're a frakking douche.
gah by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:09:05 PM
I just gave it back to its owners after like 4 months at the weekend, I will have to buy it now. So where the gollums in her head then?
KEVIN'S PARENTS TOUCH SMOLDERING EVIL AND EXPLODE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:09:23 PM

Mac dies I don't know what happens to me by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:10:46 PM
I can't remember
I have an eleven inch penis. by Snake Foreskin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:10:57 PM
It's sitting in my freezer. I'm not sure who it belonged to, but it's all mine now.
CHRISTAIN SLATER SURVIVES TRUE ROMANCE by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:12:42 PM
I thought there was monsters as well as homicide.
BILLY RAY, LEWIS AND THE HERMAPHODITE GO TROPICAL by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 02:13:59 PM

TINO! (Hyperion, you called?) by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:14:13 PM
TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO! TINO!
The monsters have gone again by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:14:31 PM
Im not a betting dude, I will rewatch though not on my own, I watched signs on my own and nearly pissed myself.
BSB, i'm not sure by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:15:39 PM
cause you hear the monsters closing in on her in the end. UK version. and the other girls are with her when they are trying to get out, and getting killed. and the girl who has the crawler jump on her when she is hanging from the ceiling and she stabs it, that seems real to me. not sure though
ANDREW MCCARTHY AND THE MANNEQUIN FALL IN LOVE by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 02:15:56 PM

"DANNY AND SANDY DRIVE CAR INTO SKY, TURN AND WAVE" by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:17:08 PM
Pound Sand, that one and "RICHARD DREYFUSS GETS ON SPACESHIP, INTERIOR IS DULL" left me in fuckin stitches. Maybe I'm just light-headed from not eating yet today, though.
ZACHARY MAYO GETS HIS JETS AND PAULA THE POLACK by Pound Sand	Mar 13th, 2007 02:17:28 PM

FAILED 'REBORNS' ARE THE COMPANY'S CADAVER SOURCE by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:19:33 PM

Fred Savage and Howie Mandel kill Boy by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:19:35 PM
Little Monsters get happy
SHE KILLS BILL by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:19:58 PM
I really wanna rewatch the descent now.
mom and dad save the universe by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:20:40 PM
i guess the title says it all
UNCLE REMUS STILL A SLAVE; BLUEBIRD STILL FREE by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:20:43 PM
At least I think so. Haven't seen the movie since I was 2 (thanks Disney), so it's a bit hard to remember.
MARTY BLANK KILLS ACKROYD, WINS GIRL, DESTROYS BUSINESS by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:21:34 PM

THE PREAKNESS POOL IS CODE FOR A MILITARY COUP by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:21:36 PM
Pres. Lyman busts Gen. Scott; Col. Casey ends the coup.
TOM HANKS REACHES A CROSSROAD by Spikes Brain	Mar 13th, 2007 02:21:59 PM
Does he go left? Does he go right? Stupid volleyball...
John Ritter and Pam Dawber survive hellish TV gauntlet! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:23:48 PM
Jeffrey Jones is Satan
BSB, "The Others" is my fave ghost story EVER by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:24:38 PM
Midfucktacular.
the Chief kills Jack; vandalizes govt. property by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:25:18 PM
i didn't even see him shed a tear
JOE BEATS THE VOLCANO by Spikes Brain	Mar 13th, 2007 02:26:04 PM
Marries Meg Ryan, breaks up with her, moves to Seattle, rinse, repeat...
SCARLETT LOSES RHETT, CONTENT WITH RED DIRT by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:26:57 PM
Vows to rebuild slave-powered plantation.
Honestly excited about another Potter book or movie? by slone13	Mar 13th, 2007 02:27:05 PM
It's just the same shit over and over and over. It started to get old after the one with the tri-wizard tournie, whichever that was. Thanks God this series is coming to an end.
gage kills herman munster and mommy by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:29:12 PM
dad wrestles my buddy doll
MINOSO TORRES WAS IN ON THE CON... by dagriff	Mar 13th, 2007 02:31:32 PM
Honey Roy Palmer and Gabriel Caine win the whle fuckin' town from John Gillon.
THE WITCH KILLS EVERYBODY IN THE OLD HOUSE by Snookeroo	Mar 13th, 2007 02:31:43 PM
Blair Witch made me carsick. I want two hours of my life back.
HE GOT HIS ASS TO MARS by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 02:31:54 PM
and we all got to see the three fakest looking tits ever. one was ground off after the film and carmen electra was born.
ONE OF THE GAY COWBOYS GETS KILLED by Smashing	Mar 13th, 2007 02:32:23 PM
for shame.
GOODMAN DIES, DENZEL DIES, by Spikes Brain	Mar 13th, 2007 02:33:01 PM
Demon becomes a cat, Jagger and Richards get slightly richer on royalties...
PETER SELLERS WALKS ON WATER by Snookeroo	Mar 13th, 2007 02:35:58 PM
Who knew?
COBRA COMMANDER BECOMES A SNAKE by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:36:06 PM
Falcon and Hawk kiss and make-up
some kid has a flight with a navigator by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:37:22 PM
it was cool
RINGO GETS THE RED RING OFF HIS FINGER by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:37:43 PM

PIGGY KILLED; JACK SURVIVES by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:37:46 PM
twins still creepy
TED STRIKER LANDS SAFELY (?) IN CHICAGO! by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:39:08 PM

TOMMY BOY SAVES THE COMPANY by iwontwin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:39:13 PM
HOLY SCHNICKIES!
THE CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE KILLER IS JASON'S MOM by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:39:14 PM

SHANE KILLS JACK PALANCE by Spikes Brain	Mar 13th, 2007 02:40:03 PM
But doesn't come back sniff
PEDRO VOTED CLASS PRESIDENT; KIP MARRIES LAFONDA by Doctor_Sin	Mar 13th, 2007 02:40:13 PM

MCCROSKY PICKS BAD TIME TO STOP SNIFFING GLUE by finky089	Mar 13th, 2007 02:40:31 PM
Rex Kramer chased by Indians; wears two pairs of sunglasses.
Christopher Walken loses russian roullette by Kloipy	Mar 13th, 2007 02:40:49 PM
too bad
SPIELBERG TAKES MONEY, WRITES RECEIPT by Hyperion Consul	Mar 13th, 2007 02:41:31 PM
30 years later he lobbies to have all the guns in that scene changed to walkie talkies.
CATHOLIC HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS STILL I

Talkbacks

Two More Reviews Of HARRY POTTER & THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX!!