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AICN COMICS REVIEWS SHAZAM! IMPALER! CTHULHU TALES! AND MUCH MORE!!!

SHAZAM by phaedrus007	Feb 14th, 2007 02:07:52 AM
I'll be picking that one up. PS First...?
Ultimate Spiderman not going the MJ route, are they? by captboulder	Feb 14th, 2007 02:10:31 AM
I thought Peter/Kitty was at least something different. The ending was an ending, I guess.
@ssholes by humboldt99	Feb 14th, 2007 03:05:29 AM
Great opening picture, I've always thought MJ was pretty high on herself...Of course if I was a 2D dude I would actually drop a blonde of a bridge to get that.
Regarding USM.. SPOILER by Steve Rogers	Feb 14th, 2007 03:33:43 AM
Why do the reveal about the identity to the person they did when this was a big deal in the 616 that took 40 years to get to? Has removed one of the big differences between the Ultimate and 616 universes and has let yet-a-fucking-nother person in the Ultimate U in on Peter's secret!! JEEZUS!! Keep the fucking mask on his head Bendis and stop giving away the damn secret identity to every character in the book.
Bendis doesn't like secret IDs is all by DevilCat	Feb 14th, 2007 07:49:11 AM
Bendis clearly doesn't like having to write secret IDs. Probably because it makes is difficult to churn out as many books as he does if he has to stop and think of ways for his characters to interact with the supporting cast in both identities. He also probably wants to tear down as many differences as possible between trad Marvel and Ult Marvel because its then easier to keep track of which version he's writing. So he systematically outs all the characters he writes, either by himself or with his collaberators on the arcs.
With you on the vampires, Bug. by rev_skarekroe	Feb 14th, 2007 07:56:14 AM
I'm sick of vampires that are just attractive goths that know Kung-Fu and shoot guns a lot. Nosferatu was a freaking force of nature. They thought the plague had come back when he showed up in town.
NEXTWAVE #12! by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 08:48:34 AM
It's out today. FLY! FLY!
I know they're called the @ssholes and all... by theageofknights.com	Feb 14th, 2007 08:49:35 AM
But do they purposely seek out issues that got great reviews (Shazam and USM) and give them shitty reviews? I didn't see anything in the issue that led me to believe Ultimate Ronin was coming, it must have been in a preview or something.
Age of Knights - Read the past Paragraph of that Review by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 09:03:55 AM
"I'm sure I'll be picking up the next issue because even with my complaints about the emphasis on Cap's origin, it's still a good comic book and a pleasantly fresh and joyful adventure of a Captain Marvel who actually looks and feels like the "real" Captain Marvel. That's something I can support and hope to see more of."
Astro City!! Welcome back!! by CarmillaVonDoom	Feb 14th, 2007 09:07:43 AM
:^)
Shazam by BigBadJon	Feb 14th, 2007 09:14:33 AM
I've got to say... I couldn't disagree with Prof. Challenger's assessment of Shazam: Monster Society of Evil more strongly. I you want to be an @$$hole and review the book while complaining about the differences between this story and the original that's pretty sad, when on it's own merits this book is nothing short of magnificent. The art is spectacular, and it conveys emotion in ways that I've never seen any artist other than Jeff Smith be capable of. Jeff Smith draws as a cartoonist, which inherently shows old people as looking really old, and young people looking really young. But from reading the story I'd have guessed that Billy Batson was supposed to be between 8 and 10 years old, and that's about how old he looks. And as far as retelling an origin story for the character? I think it's absolutely essential. I don't read a lot of in continuity DC books, but I love the prestige format or Elseworlds books that they produce. That being said, because I'm not that familiar with the character's history, it's invaluable to me to have that somewhat in depth explanation of the character's motivation. And I'll bet you anything that most of the people who are picking up this book are doing so more because of Jeff Smith than because of Capt. Marvel, and as a result aren't as familiar with the character as you are. So for the majority of readers to pick up the story and be dumped into the middle of a massive already existing continuity would have been confusing. If this is a re-telling of an old story (which I didn't know until you said it) why does it need to be a verbatim retelling rather than a reimagining? Didn't we learn our lesson there with Van Sant's remake of Psycho? Just go along for the ride, man. Enjoy watching a master at his craft.
USM by biscuit turner	Feb 14th, 2007 09:17:33 AM
I agree that USM has become pretty pedestrian. But I still read it, because right now the rest of the Spidey titles (except for Friendly Neighborhood, when Peter David isn't shackled to terrible crossovers) are truly AWFUL. It's so painful to watch Marvel fail again and again to get their core character right. It's irritating to see the Ultimate Universe reduced to trying to come up with new twists to stories told years ago. Especially while genuinely creative books like Nextwave (or books that actually bring something new to old characters, like Agents of Atlas) fail.
Squash by Shigeru	Feb 14th, 2007 09:26:38 AM
Did you like the last Cthulhu Tales that BOOM put out? Just wondering, cause I thought it was great.... seeing if our tastes line up on it so I can judge whether to pick up the new one.
buzz, re: last TB by Shigeru	Feb 14th, 2007 09:27:51 AM
we're on the same page... let's kiss and make up.
Captain Marvel is the greatest superhero ever by Doctor_Sin	Feb 14th, 2007 09:30:19 AM
I'll be picking this up, too. Although, I could do without yet another recap/retelling of his origin. I miss the old Whiz comics and the early DC run. Mr. Mind and Talky Tawny all the way! "Power of Shazam" was, imo, the best handling of the material. I don't get why it never took off properly. p.s. - Any Cthulhu comic cannot go wrong either.
Cthulhu Tales: I liked most of the prior one by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 09:35:49 AM
The "King in Yellow" story, while slightly goofy, I thought was much more tastefully done in that book than the "Are You There God?" in this issue. I'll try to find my earlier Cheap Shot for the original book.
Ulitmate Spider-Man... by loodabagel	Feb 14th, 2007 09:41:07 AM
Now see, I've always liked the "epilogue issues." I thought this one had a great ending. That last page really summed up the whole story emotionally in a nice style.
Prof Challenger's CT Review by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 09:41:24 AM
http://tinyurl.com/2l4eq5 I think my Cheap Shot appeared in one of the following two weeks.
Not a lot of people are old enough to remember Cap by TheRevengeOfBayouWilly	Feb 14th, 2007 09:46:31 AM
I'm not 57 or rich, therefore I don't have the original Monster Society Of Evil, so if Jeff Smith wants to drag ass and tell a story his way on a 30-year old book of a character not a whole lot of people care about... let him.
...whoa... by blackthought	Feb 14th, 2007 10:03:58 AM
i'm struggling to come to terms with this column being posted so early...thanks for throwing off my internal a$$hole clock.
Yes, I do read the other @$$holes' reviews. by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 10:14:11 AM
And I will be hunting down Maintenance #1-2 today. My FLCS is a little sparse on ordering the indies though, but I'll see what they can do.
Couldn't find my old CT Cheap Shot by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 10:28:09 AM
I don't think I did one; I could be wrong though. Overall, I liked the first book. This one was disappointing.
I'm 36 and have always loved Shazam comics by Doctor_Sin	Feb 14th, 2007 10:34:49 AM
I gave up on Superman around the whole "Infinite Crisis" crap because DC pretty much jumped the shark. Besides, he was too god-like. Godmodding in comics is a turn off for me. "Shazam!" seemed to always keep it real and fun.
Good to see Jonah Hex... by rbatty024	Feb 14th, 2007 10:54:16 AM
is going to do more storytelling with multiple issues. I was a fan of the origin tale. More Apaches!
re: Last TB by Thalya	Feb 14th, 2007 10:54:39 AM
(for those who are on MySpace that is) Allez ici rire de mes qualifications de dessin pathétiques: http://tinyurl.com/3dbmg7 Donnez-moi une note aussi, s'il vous plait. ;) P.S. Great reviews as always, @$$holes!
I've read Nextwave #12 ... by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 12:07:20 PM
So I'm typing this through the tears in my eyes. "Anything we want" ... indeed. If y'all hear about a couple kidnappings, don't let the police know.
That was good stuff by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 01:00:32 PM
Excellent surprise villain. 52 and JSA ("Quiet, Starman!" "52!") weren't bad either.
Ultimate Spiderman by El Vale	Feb 14th, 2007 02:01:53 PM
I was doing my cyber trade waiting thing with this Clone Saga business and i realized there's no 104th issue to be found on my hard drive. Now i gotta wait till someone realizes they forgot to scan the damn thing so i can finish reading the story. Ahhhh to download comics. By the way, how is everyone?
Wait by El Vale	Feb 14th, 2007 02:05:22 PM
I think Psy's trying to tell us something.
Yeah, he's trying to tell us ... by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 02:09:47 PM
"We're not in the Top Talkbacks"
We're getting there... by Thalya	Feb 14th, 2007 02:15:02 PM
45 at this post..
Not anymore by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 02:31:24 PM
Mods have gotten quick on killing dupes like that. I hope Psynapse didn't get deleted.
Aaaand, he gets his @$$ baleeted for spamming a forum by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 02:31:32 PM
Not my decision; happened in-between page refreshes.
Psynapse! by Thalya	Feb 14th, 2007 02:36:42 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So Marvel wanted to switch my Nextwave subscription by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 02:42:48 PM
to New Avengers. I said, GIVE ME MY DAMN MONEY BACK YOU NEXTWAVE-MURDERING WHORES! I wish Amazon would get their butts in gear and start stocking the Nextwave TPB (released today). I want to order that and Neverwhere (also released today) and get the Free Super Saver Shipping.
Ok, BN is disagreeing with Marvel by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 02:45:49 PM
BN is saying 2/28 for the TPB. DAMMIT, WE DON'T HAVE TIME!
Anyone familiar with DeepDiscount? by TheRevengeOfBayouWilly	Feb 14th, 2007 03:02:43 PM
They have some unbeatable deals on dvds, and hopefully they'll start giving Amazon a run for their money in regards to the books they've started carrying. I know their 100 Bullets trades are hella-cheap.
Hold up… by The Heathen	Feb 14th, 2007 03:04:48 PM
Psy got banned? What did he say? What the frak is going on? Who deleted him? If the likes of moviemack and Jar Jar go on and on for weeks then I call bullshit AICN. chrth, it would have been awesome to have a recording of that subscription conversation you had. ; )
JEFF SMITH PSYNAPSE WANTS TO HAVE YOUR BABIES! by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 03:12:52 PM
He posted something like said subject like about a ho-jillion times. Then, suddenly all of the posts were gone as quickly as they had arrived. Say "hi" to Jar Jar for us. BTW, which one of you bastards changed Vog from Dimension X's password?
TPBs by biscuit turner	Feb 14th, 2007 03:14:28 PM
chrth: Bookstores like Amazon & BN generally get Marvel/DC trades 2 weeks after they hit the direct market. I saw the Nextwave TPB at the LCS today, so 2/28 sounds right for bookstores.
Suck it Squash.... by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 03:29:03 PM
Still here.
After all.... by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 03:31:20 PM
AICN doesn't ban for just being a doofus. (and a sycophantic one I'll give you that). PS- Joo knowz ah WUVS you Squashie!
So I'll just have to do it the old fashioned way.... by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 03:34:35 PM
by submitting actual posts.........
Wow, AICN actually lets you change… by The Heathen	Feb 14th, 2007 03:36:33 PM
your password? Crazy. Squash, it could have been the original Vog, none other than loodabagel.
Happy Valentine's Day! by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 03:44:08 PM
I wuv you too, Psy, but this one prefers the more hardcore affections received in last week's TB... if ya know what I mean.
PSY-FI!!! by Thalya	Feb 14th, 2007 03:44:21 PM
runs in, clobbers, huggles!
Shazam! by Prof Challenger	Feb 14th, 2007 03:45:59 PM
It's funny. If one of us publishes a review that does a 100% rip on something, then the accusation is that we went too far and we never like anything from "X" publisher or by "X" writer etc. etc. If one of us gushes orgasmically about something, then we are in the hip pocket of "X" publisher or expert oral gratifiers of "X" writer. But, if we publish a review of something that has apparently (I wouldn't know -- the only reviews I read are those here on AICN) been gushed over by other review sites and we don't gush likewise but instead give an honest balanced review emphasizing what was liked and pointing out those things not liked, then the accusation is one of some sort of contrarian agenda or a reactive post that demonstrates the poster never really read the review in full. Just as a heavily hyped and long-delayed movie may bring with it heightened expectations, the viewer's reactions may be one of disappointment if the execution does not live up to the expectations. That's how it was with this first issue. Which, let me point out, was heavily praised by me for (1) amazing art, (2) most accurate portrayal of the Cap/Billy relationship in 50+ years, and (3) pure unadulterated joy. However, I felt that to be fully honest I had to address those areas that left me with an odd, unsatisfied feeling. And that really had more to do with the overall story structure. Just as with any remake/reboot/sequel, one brings to the table their experience with the previous version. In my case, I thought it only fair to set that bias out for the reader and to give a brief background for those who may not even realize that this MSOE mini-series is based on an older story. In the modern context, a slavishly faithful remake (along the lines of the Van Sant PSYCHO) would get WB/DC shut down because of the rampant and overt cultural and racial bigotry present in those stories. But, that was not the focus of the original story. The original story was a grand adventure with Capt. Marvel facing a worldwide attack by the most powerful of villains who were being controlled and manipulated by a hidden alien presence known only as "Mr. Mind." The shocking reveal of who Mr. Mind was and his ultimate defeat was a real "shocker." So, I definitely was NOT desiring a shot-by-shot remake. But I was disappointed to, once again, be subject to 40 some odd pages out of a 48 page book devoted to retelling Cap's origin once again. I almost think his origin may have been retold more often than Superman's. It's getting ridiculous. Check out Dini and Ross's tabloid-sized SHAZAM: THE POWER OF HOPE comic to see how 2 pages is enough to set up for the reader exactly who Cap, Billy, and the Wizard are so that the story can get moving. The bottom line is that the comic was very good, amazing in some parts, and because it was so good, it should be strong enough to have some of it's structural and narrative choices challenged and questioned. I don't stick around for a comic that sux. This is a comic I'm sticking around for and those of y'all who missed that point in the review, maybe you'll catch it in this post. Now, I gotta get back out in this Central Texas 32 degree weather and sweat out some more global "warming." Power to the COGS.
Squashua.. by Thalya	Feb 14th, 2007 03:46:51 PM
spank Hush now!
Besides.... by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 03:46:54 PM
If I could have Jeff Smith's baby I'd be the first dude in history to do so and I'd either be rich as hell or I'd end up dissected on an operating table in some secret government facility. Hmm.....
Prof Challenger: That wasn't very funny (j/k) by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 03:52:33 PM
BTW, if you do a < p > (remove spaces) it'll do a linebreak in your posts. See? :)
Main thing about the Action Comics annual.. by nofate	Feb 14th, 2007 03:52:58 PM
that concern me was the fact that it had art by Gary Frank. Isn't he exclusive to Marvel? Plus he's suppossed to do art in the upcoming World War Hulk (lame title for another epic btw). Marvel cannot afford to lose this cat. They need to get him back on Squadron Supreme shit as of yesterday. His art is so detailed, it reminds me of Dillion's just with more varied expresions. Oh and by the way, why didn't Ambush critiqued the last issue of the Ultimate clone saga? I smell copt out.
Page break, Prof. by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 03:53:20 PM
Page break. < br > And now I shall hush as the mistress commands.
The Heathen: I was, uh, politer on the phone by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 03:53:58 PM
Huh, politer doesn't look right. More polite. I just posted what I was thinking =)
biscuit turner: thanks for the head's up by chrth	Feb 14th, 2007 03:57:12 PM

Nofate - read the start of my Cthulhu review by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 04:02:29 PM
and you'll get an answer. Essentially, Humphrey and Challenger trumped the rest of the @$$holes this week by getting their dibs in early, which gave most of the rest of us a week off. I can't believe I ended up being the the only one to review New Avengers.
Magical Comedy Girl Thalya!!! by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 04:11:58 PM
MUCHO huggles right back atcha babe. (*_^)
SHAZAM!! THANK YOU JEFF SMITH by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 04:36:28 PM
So there...
AHA! by nofate	Feb 14th, 2007 04:36:52 PM
Could that mean then that Ambush is so tired of raggin on the Bendii that he's not even making an effort, especially on such an easy target? One can only hope. And on that note, where's your New Avengers review then Squashua? Didn't that come out last week?
Hell yes, Prof! by The Heathen	Feb 14th, 2007 05:03:30 PM
"Power to the COGS." Psy! I feared the worst, but am glad to know I shouldn't have. I thought everything was going to hell for about an hour today. Now I have to vanish into the ether...
Careful with that ether... by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 05:08:21 PM
That shit packs one helluva punch....
"Power to the COGS." by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 05:17:17 PM
Amen. (motherfucker)
Oh nofat, sounds like we've become a bit obsessive... by Ambush Bug	Feb 14th, 2007 05:38:45 PM
I'm glad you love readin' my comments and all, peaches, but c'mon, attempting to call me out because a Bendis book is released and I don't cover it? How lame is that? For your info, I don't buy any Ultimate books for the same reason everyone is finally cluing into, they are all stale rehashes of stories I enjoyed a long time ago, polished off and hipped up for the kiddies to think it's noo and kuel. And since you can't wait till you hear what I thought of last week's NA, I'll give you this little tidbit. I kind of liked it. Suprised? Of course, because your feeble mind can't take the fact that I can like one book from a writer and not like another. It's gotta be all or nothing, right? Surely one Bendis story HAS to be as good as every other, right? No shades of grey at all. Stop being trollish and trying to call me out by name as if you matter, nosheep.
Ummm.. by nofate	Feb 14th, 2007 06:05:51 PM
Actually, I asked for Squashua's NA review but whatever. Dude come on lighten up a bit, we're talking comics here. I for one would be glad anyone is reading something I wrote, even if they tore it apart later. Keep shoveling.
I don't see how The Ultimates is a rehash... by TheRevengeOfBayouWilly	Feb 14th, 2007 06:05:52 PM
Not trying to start anything, I'm just saying... And the problem with Bendis is he overdoes it on the dialogue sometimes. You gotta write comics differently than you would write a play or movie, kids. I swear, one panel in that Ultimate story he did with Wolverine and Spidey went "They're in the diaper truck?" "They're in the diaper truck." "That diaper truck over there?" "That diaper truck over there." "The diaper truck?" "Diaper truck." Motherfucker, we get it! I can't wait for him to write a movie, have it bomb, and for all this to be over.
Hey, line break works! by nofate	Feb 14th, 2007 06:08:00 PM
Thank Squashua. You're the @$$hole that keeps on giving. Wait, that sounds nasty ;^)
It sounds nasty... by Prof Challenger	Feb 14th, 2007 06:16:10 PM
because it is. Plus, Squashua's by far the nastiest of the @$$holes.
I knew we were a pair! by Psynapse	Feb 14th, 2007 06:19:52 PM
I'm the nastiest Cog......(by a wide margin, I make the rest look like fuckin' nuns at times).
It's true… by The Heathen	Feb 14th, 2007 06:37:24 PM
Psy is the nastiest and just yesterday the Cogs told everyone I liked little boys, but I corrected them and said 'pale' little boys. Hey, Psy what was that joke with the pedophile and the kid walking through the woods? ; )
So much agression by El Vale	Feb 14th, 2007 07:08:53 PM
Can't we all just get along? No? Then fuck you, i fucking hate you anyway.
The joke, Heathen: by SleazyG.	Feb 14th, 2007 07:10:50 PM
"What the hell are you cryin' about? I'm the one who has to walk home alone!"
Poor Squashua.. by Thalya	Feb 14th, 2007 09:31:08 PM
It's because of his namesake, the squash in his diet and all that fiber just roughs him right up and he really has no choice but to fight back you see... wait, you say that ether packs a punch, Psy? Well we can't have that.. shuffles off I'd better just check.. sniffs mmm...eth-THUNK
My New Avengers review is in this week's column... by Squashua	Feb 14th, 2007 10:26:50 PM
...y'all just didn't look hard enough. And I do like fuckin' nuns; I make a habit out of it when I get the opportunity.
Where do they get these bozo reviewers? by mrfan	Feb 15th, 2007 05:01:53 AM
Can someone please explain? Anyone?
mrfan by rev_skarekroe	Feb 15th, 2007 07:42:38 AM
The original reviewers came from Talkbackers just like you. Or maybe not JUST like you. These guys actually had something to say. I'm not sure where the newer reviewers came from. Friends and acquaintances maybe?
Shazam (Prof. Challenger) by BigBadJon	Feb 15th, 2007 08:14:36 AM
Right on man. Your follow up there definitely clarified your stance a little bit, and makes me respect your opinion a lot more. I still think the retelling of the origin was an important aspect, but will conceded that it may have been advantageous if it could have been told more succinctly so that the overarching storyline could have been advanced more.
I was Culled from the ranks of the Talkbackers by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 08:58:24 AM
Emphasis on rank. I have been a talkbacker for quite some time; I just didn't post very often, but when I did, I generally made intelligent, articulate posts such as this one. I still have no idea why Ambush Bug recruited me.
I knew it! by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 09:57:19 AM
For as I long as I can remember it seems Buzz Maverick and Ambush Bug were vying for dominance as "Supreme Overlord for Life of the @$$holes." With my newfound knowledge of Bug recruiting minor league stars like Squashua, it seems he'll have more on his side when things go down in the @$$hole CIVIL WAR! With a total of 3, count 'em 3!, variant covers by Michael Turner, not including the sceth version by both him and series regular Gary Frank! And don't forget the limited edition foil variant! Prof. Challenger's shield is carved out of pure gold foil! It's only 28$ at your local comic book shop! You know this is all Wizard's fault. The only reason they invented that atrocity that we call CGC was so they could create more variant covers. Marvel must have been in on this from the beginning.
That said... by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 09:58:35 AM
Whose side are you on, Squash?
not just with any stick...with bamboo! yea! by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:11:01 AM
_________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ __IIIIIIJESUSIIIJESUSIIIIIII__ __IIIIIIIIIJESUSIIIJESUSIIII__ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________ _________IJESUSI_________
now I have a Batman Year 100 review... by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:19:29 AM
Well there's a new comic out there and it is called Batman Year 100. I don't think it's one of the best comics I've ever read, but it was certainly was one of the coolest. Someone once described Batman to me as "black leather and nihilsm" and nowhere is that more apparent than in this comic. The Batman in year 100 is different than what I've seen in the past. He's not the complete and total deuchebag of the past few years, nor is he the clinically insane playboy we've seen in stuff like Batman Year 1 or Batman Begins. He doesn't have the occasional goofiness of film's Michael Keaton or the constant goofiness of TV's Adam West (I mean, thank fucking God. If I wanted to put up with that shit, I'd read Batman in the 50's or something.) But what Batman does have here is charm. I don't know how he does it. He rarely talks, but he still came off as a charming guy. And if the charm wasn't enough, Batman is also terrifying. It's deathly apparent to the reader that Batman is an old man, but he looks scarier than he did in Arkham Asylum. Vampire fangs? Holy crap. This guy is dedicated. He's even got a motorcycle that folds up and hangs upside down like a bat. Another difference here is that Batman seems more like a ninja than in the past. Sure, the guy's always been a master combatant, but this is the only time I think I've seen him meditate. Well, that's Batman anyway. What really makes this comic hum is the man making it. Does it get any cooler than Batman riding a motorcycle that looks like a demon? Only if he's being drawn by Paul Pope. Now if you don't know anything about Paul Pope, I can tell you this-The man is cool. He draws and writes about cool people doing cool things, and I think he wears scarves too. The guys got wicked style that basically reflects mirror-image style in his comics. Does Robin have an earring? Of course! He's drawn by Paul Pope! Of course, he also has a hipster haircut and repairs motorcycles. And it's not only Robin. Everyone in this comic has funky fresh hipster style. Batman: Year 100-Reccomended. Not highly. But still. I think this is some of the best art I've ever seen from Paul Pope, so I'd definitely give it two big thumbs up. And if you're one those guys who likes to complain about everything ripping Dark Knight Returns, than you need to lighten up buddy. This is definitly not DKR just because it's set in the future. I mean, I could start saying that DKR was just a rip-off of Days of Future Past and that that was really just a rip off of Metropolis, but I won't because that's stupid. You see, dystopias have been around for a long ass time, and just because one of them is in a comic book doesn't automatically make it a rip-off of DKR. So lighten up guys. This is Paul Pope. It's new. It's different. It's in your yard, killing your cat, eating your baby and fuckin your momma. (A little neckface joke for those of you who are down with Neckface. I'm not, but I gotta give him points for trying.) I'm outta here. I'll think up a catchprhase one of these days. Or maybe not. I don't want to sound like fucking Peter Travers.
5 in a row? by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:21:02 AM
Oh no you didn't!
The Big Reveal by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 10:21:24 AM
My name is John Byrne, and I’ve been Squashua since I was sixteen years old. Any questions?
We are... by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:23:59 AM
Cooler than Grindhouse.
We are.. by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:25:00 AM
cooler than Avatar
We are... by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:26:11 AM
Cooler than Milli Vanilli
We are... by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 10:28:18 AM
BS 2000!
Dude. They're gonna "Psynapse" you. by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 10:43:24 AM
To quote the great Dave Coulier, "Cut it out."
It all makes sense now! by loodabagel	Feb 15th, 2007 11:09:52 AM
The guy who constantly hassles Teen Titans for bad artwork is really John Byrne! It's the perfect coverup, nobody would suspect it. Although, all of those posts about mixed-race artists inability to draw were a tad supicious now that I think about it.
heh… by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 11:19:20 AM
Milli Vanilli. "Blame it on the rain! Yeah! Yeah!" That's some funny shit, looda. Btw, no way you're 17 and no about Milli Vanilli. Shit, I forgot about them completely until you said their name. That brought back great thoughts of TMNT, Burton's Batman, Ghostbusters cartoon, Kelly Kapowski, Pizza Hut and giant shirt pens that cold also fold out and stand on your dresser.
Time Distortion by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 11:21:31 AM
Heathen, I've been Squashua for much longer than I've been an @$$hole named Squashua. Gotta read between the lines. I'm the goddamn Batman.
gotta read who posts the posts first Squash… by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 11:30:54 AM
that was herr looda. ; ) I remember you posting before you were an 'official' @$$hole, Squash. It was like two weeks of normal posts as a talkbacker and then your reviews started coming in. Wait. Why are we talking about when and why you became an @$$hole again?
Two Weeks? by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 11:45:42 AM
What, you think I'm taking an extended stay on Mars? I've been a talkbacker for years. The question was instantiated by a comment from The good Reverend Scarecrow. And you're the one who made the seventeen comment, though it was in regards to Looda, which makes no sense since he doesn't mention it previously (maybe in an earlier talkback).
Slap bracelets! by Thalya	Feb 15th, 2007 12:12:53 PM
Don't forget about slap bracelets, H! Or Koosh balls!
Or come to think of it.. by Thalya	Feb 15th, 2007 12:19:21 PM
Lookit that Captain N ad up top there..
Oh, excuse me… by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 12:59:14 PM
how dare I not know of any and all things involving Squashua? ; ) Chillax my friend. All was said with good favored intentions. I meant as far as posting on the comics column, I didn't notice many post from you and then there were some and then you became an @$$hole. Simple as that. I may be wrong but I don't think so considering I belong to a group called The All Week COG SMOOCHES who… talkback… all week… every week… for over a year and a half now. The looda comment was intended for… looda. It would make sense… if you were looda, er, hopefully. For instance, it'd be like if I asked my friend Chase about the dip in the pool with the 40 different chemicals in it, that probably wouldn't make sense to you, but between me and him it would. My other post was regarding your 'Time Distortion' post. I have no idea what the hell that meant. Sorry. T!!! Slap bracelets and Koosh balls were totally rad! There's nothing like the smell of a fresh Koosh and I mean that. We actually had the slap bracelets banned at my school because kids kept slapping each other in class. Ah, good times.
Well, yah. by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 01:06:13 PM
I would pop-in, read the reviews, and then MAYBE post once if something interested me. Emphasis on MAYBE. I'd e-mail feedback directly more than post back then b/c I (still) find the talkback thing a less than appealing form of communication. And I really don't get it's complete disconnection from the forums.
Ah, the late 80s/early 90s... by Thalya	Feb 15th, 2007 01:22:03 PM
Is it just me or did '88-'92 just completely have its own particular subculture? The music, fashions and everything, smooshed in between the 80s-proper and the arrival of grunge/rap. And H, both of them were banned at my school too! And by the by, on a comics-related note, who's read Detective Comics #828 and why isn't anyone reviewing it? That one book made my week (I understand Nextwave #12 also came out, but still..).
Gotcha. by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 01:25:09 PM
Yeah, when AICN announced 'The Zone' I was confused? What's the point of having both? I don't mind discussion in the tb's when trolls aren't involved. I've had many a great ones in the wee small hours of the morning. This one time I worked an all nighter and Darth Kal-El and Dave_F were randomly here too keeping me company thank the maker. That said, the last AICN update has made it hardre for conversation. Every time you post and it throws you back to the article and not the meat of the tb really detracts and frustrates people, well, at least me.
Sensational Spider Man is not that bad now by holidill	Feb 15th, 2007 01:48:39 PM
Sensational Spider Man is actually pretty good now also, with Spider man taking on his older foes that have not been seen for a while like Will o the Wisp, plus the return of the Puma who is hanging with Black Cat, I have actually enjoyed this series so far.
Man this is some weird talkbacking by El Vale	Feb 15th, 2007 01:49:01 PM
There is so much passive agression between Heath and Squash, it's a little bit awkward to witness (but ceases not to be entertaining). Know who i like? That Baytor guy. He always reviews stuff i'm interested in, which is saying something cause look at some of the stuff these people are reviewing: Shazam? Gimme a break. Fell #7 was great. It was so frustrating it made me angry and i felt like punching someone, but all in a good way. That Warren Ellis sure is kicking ass lately. Anyone reading that new Desolation Jones storyline? Highly recommended.
Vale by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 02:13:47 PM
What, you want for us to dance and sing for you? All we're doing is keeping this talkback near the top on the right. I mean, I suspect that's the plan, right looda?
You know those grindhouse trailers? by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 02:19:58 PM
Well here's mine! Rustee Blades in LUMBERJACKED! Destroy it if you must, but it's fun. Enjoy! A higher res version than on YouTube is found here: http://tinyurl.com/22cbsh YouTube: http://tinyurl.com/ypld66 Squash… I luv you. ; ) ~
More about me, Me, ME! by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 03:07:24 PM
I'm flattered, but you'll be disappointed to find out that I'm not a pale little boy, Heathen.
No Worries, Shig. by Buzz Maverik	Feb 15th, 2007 03:11:13 PM
I honestly thought we were just talking in the last talkback.
Actually, The @$$holes Didn't Come From The Talkbacks.. by Buzz Maverik	Feb 15th, 2007 03:17:47 PM
...at all. Please watch the screen get all wavey as we have our flashback, which I remember like it was just yesterday. There I was at Langely. The MK-SEARCH funding had just come in and I was placed in charge of a non-existent black bag op called Operation Virgin. The idea was that we could brainwash geeks into being government stooges (somebody has to fill out all that paperwork and lose their pensions when we get caught, right?). I assembled my team carefully from the worst of the misfits, losers and dregs the Company had to offer. We faked our own deaths (except for that one guy: it turned out that word "fake" was smudged on his copy of the memo -- oops!), we dug up some blackmail info that could ruin Harry if it ever got out (it turns out that he hates movies)and muscled our way onto the site. You now have the urge to fill out these requistion requests....
Squash by El Vale	Feb 15th, 2007 03:20:15 PM
Is that too much to ask? Also, i'm having a hard time finding that part where i told you to stop doing anything.
He certainly isn't little.. by Thalya	Feb 15th, 2007 03:28:45 PM
That much I know. But I was etherized all night. Please tell me you didn't just let me lie there..
abuh? by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 03:33:09 PM
Vale told who what? It's okay Squash, for you, I could make the exception. If anyone really wants to know what my taste is (besides the pale little boys types) then check out Rustee Blades. My better half appears in that. I'll give you a hint, it's not Rustee or any of the wood-zombie-demon things.
It's CAPTAIN MARVEL - not Shazam! by Pi-Rate	Feb 15th, 2007 03:53:24 PM
This whole origin retelling thing sucked ass bigtime. Cap didn't need another "reboot". He was just fine. Ordway did a nice job mixing the old lore with some new twists. This piece of crap comic isn't worth lining the bottom of my bird's cage with. Why can't anybody get this character RIGHT? Ordway had it down, but for some reason, the book never took off. If he'd just had a really good Sivana story, maybe... But I can't bear to look at this shit comic they're doing now. At this rate, they should just sell the character to Marvel outright.
I miss the monkee.... by GreatATuin	Feb 15th, 2007 04:16:00 PM
Where the hell is the @$$hole moobie monkee anyway? I miss that little turd burgler. Oh, and Psy-Fi is def. the nastiest Cog. I keep telling him that every time I have to erase the Cog Mansion security tapes. Seriously, Psi, what the hell? Naked mole rats and cranberry sauce? FUCK!
Fuck by GreatATuin	Feb 15th, 2007 04:18:36 PM
Edit feature in the bitch...blah blah blah....
Got all that rust knocked right off the blade... by Squashua	Feb 15th, 2007 04:42:03 PM
... when I flipped the nice lady over and continued on my merry way after nailing her so hard she passed out. At least, I thought that's what did it. Damn those painkillers. In other news, by request: tappity-tappity-t ap-tap-tappity-tappity-tap-tap -tappity-tappity-tap-tap-tappi ty-tappity-tap-tap-tappity-tap pity-tap-tap-tappity-tappity-t ap-tap-tappity-tappity-tap-tap -tappity-tappity-tap-tap-tappi ty-tappity-tap-tap-tap I come home in the morning light, My mother says "When you gonna live your life right?" Oh,mother,dear, We're not the fortunate ones, And girls, They wanna have fu-un. Oh,girls, Just wanna have fun. The phone rings in the middle of the night, My father yells "What you gonna do with your life?" Oh,daddy,dear, You know you're still number one, But girls, They wanna have fu-un, Oh,girls,just wanna have That's all they really want..... Some fun.... When the working day is done, Oh,girls, They wanna have fu-un, Oh,girls, Just wanna have fun.... Girls, They want, Wanna have fun. Girls, Wanna have Some boys take a beautiful girl, And hide her away from the rest of the world. I wanna be the one to walk in the sun. Oh,girls, They wanna have fu-un. Oh,girls, Just wanna have That's all they really want..... Some fun.... When the working day is done, Oh,girls, They wanna have fu-un. Oh,girls, Just wanna have fun... Girls, They want, Wanna have fun. Girls, Wanna have. They just wanna, They just wanna..... They just wanna, (Oh....) They just wanna..... (Girls just wanna have fun...) Oh... Girls just wanna have fu-un... They just wanna, They just wanna.... They just wanna, They just wanna.... (Oh...) They just wanna... (They just wanna have fun...) Girls just wanna have fu-un... When the workin', When the working day is done. Oh,when the working day is done, Oh,girls... Girls, Just wanna have fu-un... They just wanna, They just wanna.... They just wanna, They just wanna have fun... Girls just wanna have fu-un.. They just wanna, They just wanna.... They just wanna, They just wanna.... (Have fun..) They just wanna, (Girls wanna have fun) They just wanna.... Oh,girls... (Wanna have fun....) Girls just wanna have fu-un. When the workin', When the working day is done. Oh,when the working day is done, Oh,girls, Girls just wanna have fu-un. They just wanna, They just wanna.... (Oh,girls...) They just wanna, (Have fun....) Oh,girls.. Girls just wanna have fu-un They just wanna, They just wanna... When the working day is done...
I miss Schleppy too, Turtle. by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 06:23:28 PM
dirty little mother fucker.
Heath by El Vale	Feb 15th, 2007 07:06:44 PM
Did you read that post i left for you a while back Re: Punisher The End and The Cell?
Anyone wanna take bets... by Prof Challenger	Feb 15th, 2007 07:26:31 PM
on how long before the mods take Squashua's song lyrics down? :)
Buzz has it wrong... by Prof Challenger	Feb 15th, 2007 07:30:01 PM
The truth of the @$$holes is much more sinister than that and I'll only reveal this much: Buzz is in actuality Joey DaQ, Bug is Dan Didio, and Squashua is Robert Kirkman trying like hell to get a new job.
Did I forget to mention that the all-elusive DaveF... by Prof Challenger	Feb 15th, 2007 07:34:56 PM
is really the bastard lovechild of Stan Lee and John Byrne? 'Tis true.
That's why Byrne called Dave an asshole! by The Heathen	Feb 15th, 2007 08:02:18 PM
Vale, yep I read it. Haven't got around to looking for them yet though. I actually have only read one issue in the past week (Superman Confidential #3). I've heard nothing, and I mean nothing, but outstanding things about Punisher: The End. I hear it's the best Punisher story ever. I think there's a HC that it's in, but I'm not sure. I haven't heard much of anything about The Cell. You said it was better than Punisher: X-Mas and I thought that one was pretty awesome. I love the team of Stuart Moore and C.P. Smith. I wish they were on War Journal (I hated the first issue so much that I didn't even want to look at any more). Word to the wise. In DC's May solicits there's a HC that includes Darwyn Cooke's Batman: Ego (which I just bought a few weeks ago!!!) along with Cooke's Selina's Big Score story and a bunch of other artist and stories taken from SOLO, etc. about Batman. Sounds nifty.
The Cell by El Vale	Feb 15th, 2007 08:22:20 PM
I think an @$$hole of sorts reviewed it in the column and he too thought it was fantastic, if i remember correctly. I tells ya, i've been eating up that MAX Punisher all week, i fucking love it, but i think only Vaughan and i read the damn thing. Oh well, to be hip is to be kinda lonely. And about that HC...i wouldn't call it nifty, i'd call it awesomelicious.
Well of course I like to have fun, Squashua.. by Thalya	Feb 15th, 2007 08:41:58 PM
..but if it wasn't you, then who the hell transformed The Cage into a bondage dungeon and left me strapped to the rack?! Get me off! (er..) And hey, the Riddler's apparently down with this (judging by 'Tec #822) so what's the problem? 'Tec #828 rules!, and the only way you're gonna get me to shut up about it is..well.. use your imagination. ;D
Please shut up? by El Vale	Feb 15th, 2007 09:13:07 PM
That was kinda lame but my brain is tired.
Poor Vale.. by Thalya	Feb 15th, 2007 09:19:27 PM
I'd pat you on the head but I'm afraid I'm a bit restricted at the moment.
Like my friends are fond of saying by El Vale	Feb 15th, 2007 09:52:19 PM
Clapping and whistling, Lady C.
where...where am i? by Darth Kal-El	Feb 16th, 2007 01:57:58 AM
>>>>al from quantum leap pulls plug
It's morning and girls still wanna have fun. by Squashua	Feb 16th, 2007 09:08:47 AM
"...I'm a bit restricted at the moment." Then how are you typing, Strong Bad?
Strong Bad? Huh?.. by Thalya	Feb 16th, 2007 09:54:55 AM
I'm talking to you with my voice from inside The Cage, duh..
Now do ya feel good? by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 09:55:54 AM
Allright Really good? Outta sight. What don't you feel Uptight You wanna fight? Not tonight You funky chicken We're dope-ified You happy now? We're satisfied Now whatcha doin? The Side to Side And what's the dance? The side to side!
Oh my god! I have never seen anything like this... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 10:01:48 AM
In the history of proffesionl wrestling! Darth Kal-El is back from the dead! (Darth drops down from the rafters and hits Buzz Maverick with a baseball bat. Ambush Bug jumps into the ring to tag team Darth. What happens next? Tune into Wednesday morning Smackdown to find out!) Welcome back, Darth.
Also worth noting... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 10:04:10 AM
I don't really listen to Milli Vanilli. Shit, all you do is say a name and evveryone thinks you're in league with the Ruskies...
Ghost Rider... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 10:08:52 AM
All I've been thinkabout is how much this movie will suck. This morning though, I thought-"Hey, it's a movie about a demon motorcyclist. IT's based ona '70s comic about a demon motorcyclist. Is there really a "Ghost Rider" legacy to be tarnished? I don't think so. Ghost Rider has always been a knid of ridiculous character. As far as I know, there aren't any "great" Ghost Rider stories. I'm coming into this with an open mind. Ghost Rider is silly.
Flagrant System Error! by Squashua	Feb 16th, 2007 10:46:53 AM
Thalya; needs you some education, re: Strong Bad? Put aside 24 consecutive hours of your time, snag Flash-enabled browser, turn your speakers up and go to homestarrunner.com ; or more specifically to the Strong Bad Emails section. http://tinyurl.com/5bjh Start from the bottom, up.
Teal Screen of Near Death by Squashua	Feb 16th, 2007 10:49:32 AM
My bad. Thalya, start here: http://tinyurl.com/daix
Critical...Computer Over by GreatATuin	Feb 16th, 2007 11:31:54 AM
ameedeedleymeedeeleymeeeeeeeee eeee......And the TROGDOR COMES IN THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGHHHTTTTTT!
Ridiculous To Some, Trippy To Others... by Buzz Maverik	Feb 16th, 2007 12:34:16 PM
...trippy and ridiculous. Embrace the ridiculous. Everybody grab hold of something anchored down and smoke 'em if you got 'em: most comic books are ridiculous. 99.9% of comic books are ridiculous. The stuff that is supposed to be the most serious is often the most ridiculous. We're grown men and women (okay, two women) who read comic books. How can we bitch about the ridiculous? It's fantasy, okay? A motorcyclist from hell with a flaming skull fits right in. Next, please!
Homestarrunner by Shigeru	Feb 16th, 2007 01:16:36 PM
I feel kind of guilty about that website. I used to be ALL ABOUT IT. In college me and my friends bought the T-Shirts and couldn't wait until the next SB email. Now I haven't looked at it in probably 2-3 years. I feel like it's passed me by and I can never catch up. Oh well... trogdor still rules, though. (And it's in Guitar Hero 2!!)
Heathen's tastes (Rustee Blades Trailer) by Shigeru	Feb 16th, 2007 01:21:38 PM
The Heathen's tastes involves daisy dukes and a water hose. I've met said tastes in person. Aren't you jealous?
Japanese cartoons are weird man by El Vale	Feb 16th, 2007 01:27:48 PM
RE: Ridiculous...there's ridiculous (a plague kills every living mamal with a Y chromosome on the planet) and then there's ridiculous (some idiot biker with a flaming skull for a head goes around...doing stuff). SO yeah, you make a distinction and then it's easier to talk about stuff.
we killed the TB by Shigeru	Feb 16th, 2007 04:36:23 PM
crap
Wanna hear about my Hentai experience? by Squashua	Feb 16th, 2007 05:04:04 PM
I got one. It's mildly disturbing.
No, you've got it all wrong... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 05:10:31 PM
There's ridiculous and then there's silly. I don't know where the line should be drawn, (maybe between Spider-Man and Spider Ham?) but Ghost Rider is certainly on the silly side of the line. Plus, there's always the merits of class. Y The Last Man is something you sit down and read. Ghost Rider is something you cruise through while slurping Mountain Dews and blasting your favorite Motorhead tape. Maybe you've got headphones on. Maybe you're wearing a cheap leather jacket with a pin on it. I don't know. That's the reason people won't be able to handle the movie, is because they won't allow people to bring 6 packs of Mountain Dew and recliners into the theater. Ya know, I haven't been to Homestarrunner in a long ass time. The Halloween specials were always my favorites. I think I quit because my enemies started watching all the cartoons. I let them ruin it for me. Sigh...
Hentai! by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 05:12:43 PM
Tell me more, oh great Squashua!
Hey, we're falling behind guys! by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 05:13:57 PM
I thought we were trying desparately to be the most popular?
Here's My Distinction, El... by Buzz Maverik	Feb 16th, 2007 05:17:01 PM
...while I love Y THE LAST MAN (there was so much love for that first issue of Y in the @$$hole clubhouse we had one of our rare dibsagreements; I wanted to rave about it but Jon Quixote had a more interesting take -- his Y reviews were some of our best here), nothing screams comic book more than a phrase like "idiot biker with a flaming skull". That's the pure spirit of demented imagination at work. That's the punk ethic. Just saying "stunt rider from hell" brings a smile to my face. If comics aren't fun, why are they comics. They should be something else. Like seminars. Or workshops. Those are no fun whatsoever.
You know I didn't change Vog's password... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 05:17:17 PM
Otherwise, I could look like I wasn't having a conversation with myself.
Now if Ghost Rider also knew Kung Fu... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 05:59:55 PM
Damn. What we've got there is possibly the greatest exploitation comic bool ever.
Also... by loodabagel	Feb 16th, 2007 06:02:06 PM
I have returned to Homestarrunner.com and might I say that I think Teen Girl Squad is possibly the funniest thing ever put to pixels?
Hentai? by Thalya	Feb 16th, 2007 09:20:48 PM
Does it involve tentacles?
But Buzz! by El Vale	Feb 16th, 2007 11:33:34 PM
Saying all comic books should be "fun" and demented and yes, silly (thanks looda) is like crippling the entire medium. Why do they have to be just one thing? That's like saying all movies should be...i dunno, action movies or something. Obviously you want entertainment out of your entertainment, but haven't you ever seen a really good movie that wasn't really all that fun, but you still walked out thinking "man, that was good"? I have. There's nothing wrong with a comic taking itself seriously because, if it's good, it can engage you in more ways than just one. Emotionally, intelectually etc. I know it sounds incredibly pretentious but why do you have a problem with people trying to make a case for comics as art?
Serious arty comics are awesome. by Shigeru	Feb 17th, 2007 09:02:21 AM
Ghost Rider comics are also awesome! See what I did there? Pay attention, Israelis and Palestinians! Remember when Art Adams drew the FF and for some reason it was Wolverine, Spider-Man, Gray Intelligent Hulk, and Ghost Rider? And they fought the Mole Man? Man those are some of my fav comics from my kiddie-hood.
weak week by Homer Sexual	Feb 17th, 2007 12:39:14 PM
Bunch of total yawn reviews. Of course, I could try to write something interesting instead of criticizing.
Ghost Rider… was actually sold out last night. by The Heathen	Feb 17th, 2007 01:04:51 PM
Crazy huh? I guess people didn't want to see Bridge to Ripoffanarnia or whatever it's called. Anyway, I wanted to ask if any of the Cogs, or esteemed @$$es or fellow tb'ers knew of any definitive Ghost Rider story or any that are at least really good? Buzz? Bug? Sleazy? Vroom? Prof? Anyone? Help a Cog out.
Heath by El Vale	Feb 17th, 2007 01:30:11 PM
There's this FF story Art Adams drew where the team consisted of Wolverine, Spider-Man, Gray Intelligent Hulk, and Ghost Rider. That may be the definitive Ghost Rider story.
Woohoo!!! by Thalya	Feb 17th, 2007 01:36:41 PM
In other news, who's reading Green Lantern Corps?!?! Champagne's knocking my socks off! The JLI inside joke on page six was easily the best moment in my read list this week, though JSA came close.
Classic Ghost Rider stories? by Prof Challenger	Feb 17th, 2007 04:03:09 PM
If I think back on Ghost Rider comics I've read, these are the stories that pop immediately to mind, but I can't really tell you which issue numbers they are. There was an issue or two that I read off the 7-11 stand when I was in Jr. High where the Johnny and the Devil had a facedown with the devil all red, horny, and hoofy. But this guy pops up who looks just like Jesus and tells the Devil that he has no claim on Johnny's soul anymore and the Devil runs away screaming. Then I fondly remember the last 5 or 6 issues of the original series that featured some groovy art by Pat Broderick and Danny Bulandi. Then I fondly remember the reboot with the guy who's not Johnny Blaze (Danny Ketch?) that was kind of cool for the first few issues. Beyond that, though, the truth is that other than just an absurdly cool visual of a flaming skull riding a motorcycle, I don't think Ghost Rider's really ever had what anyone would call really "good" stories. Just a few kind of cool stories. Somebody should write that perfect Ghost Rider story and make a name for him or her self. The movie buys sure didn't do it. It's goofy cheezy fun but written for 12 year olds (who will probably LOVE it!). Anyone reading this that can still remember the old USA Network's "Up All Night" show back in the late 80s and early 90s? This GR movie reminded me of a lot of the movies I caught on USA back then...just with better special effects.
ALL Comics Shouldn't Be Anything, But... by Buzz Maverik	Feb 17th, 2007 06:15:09 PM
...to use the Ghost Rider vs. Y analogy, Ghost Rider has a better visual component. Initially, Y was weak visually. I don't know if it picked up after I moved on. The visual component is too often forgotten in modern comics. Too many things are comics simply because the writer, who seems to be the only one who gets to create anything mainstream any more, can get a comic published, whereas they maybe couldn't sell a novel, screenplay or film. For me, Y would have worked better on TV. Technology is now able to move gonzo comics like Ghost Rider onto film, but for awhile, nothing could do a real Hell's Angel with a flaming skull better than Ghost Rider... About comics, though, at their purest they should carry out the verse that Sir Arthur Conan Doyle used to front the first Professor Challenger adventure THE LOST WORLD: "I have wrought my simple plan/ If I give one hour of joy/ To the boy who's half a man/Or the man who's half a boy"...In my experience, comics have been more limited by "serious" works than by anything fun. We get a WATCHMEN and for the next two decades, hacks who don't have a WATCHMEN in them are trying to do WATCHMEN...My favorite Ghost Rider story is not a great story but it's beautiful cheese. Johnny Blaze returns to LA after some pointless fill in issues, to find that his possible love interest, stunt woman Katie Milner, is possessed by demons. Guest star Daimon Hellstrom, the Sunuvsatan, shows up for the exorcism. They duke it out with some demons and Ghost Rider is transported into a trippy Satan-world where he and his late Satan-bait foster dad Crash and his lost love Roxanne must race Satan's minions. Johnny ends up hallucinating that he's being attacked by the various Marvel heroes he's met, so if you liked Spider-Man or the Thing or the Champions and saw them on the cover, you might buy the issue. Anyway, of course, Johnny beats Satan and saves Katie's soul and turns out that Katie was really Roxanne all the time, which I don't know about you, but that kind of thing happens to me all the time.
Good things about the Ghost Rider movie by Prof Challenger	Feb 17th, 2007 08:28:25 PM
The real plusses about the Ghost Rider movie? There are two of them: (1) Nic Cage looks like he's having a blast mugging for the camera as Johnny, and (2) Sam Elliot.
Wait Prof.. by Thalya	Feb 17th, 2007 08:55:29 PM
Are you saying Ghost Rider could never crossover with Hulk now, because Sam Elliot's also Thunderbolt Ross.. It's one thing if it's a Stan Lee cameo, but.. :)
No way.. by Prof Challenger	Feb 17th, 2007 09:18:38 PM
Sam Elliot changes his look up enough that he could play both parts. OR maybe the Rosses are descendants of the Slades. What? I guess you'll have to go see the moobie to know what I'm talkin' bout. :)
sam elliot owns by Darth Kal-El	Feb 18th, 2007 02:32:28 AM
in tomstone.but GR was a good time. i especially dug the blackheart effects towards the end and the whole texas ranger rider on a horse thing was tits too. on a related subject did anyone else think eva mendez was filmed in 3D?or maybe just good ol double d
and looda by Darth Kal-El	Feb 18th, 2007 02:36:53 AM
thanks for welcoming me back! ive sincerly missed it here but things have been super crazy lately.im trying to be on the tb more often and i appreciate u noticing my return.im in touch with my cogs but have really been too slammed with work and life to come on the board much. but yeah im back...
... by blackthought	Feb 18th, 2007 09:11:06 AM
after reading all this TBm, I feel 5 percent more retarded...thank u.
The reason i compared Ghost Rider to Y by El Vale	Feb 18th, 2007 01:54:19 PM
My friend and occasional comic book reader once told me he'd read all of Y so far and "even though it was probably the stupidest fucking premise i ever heard, it was REALLY good". I agree with you, there was a lot of garbage out there after Watchmen came out, but i don't know if it really did hurt the medium. I mean we still have Watchmen and From Hell and Sandman etc and all the garbage is pretty much forgotten, unlike the preconception that comic books equal superheroes..and all the baggage that accompanies an assumption like that. Thankfully, the trade market is slowly changing that.
Vern on Ghost Rider by El Vale	Feb 18th, 2007 02:23:45 PM
"What I'm saying is you have to have the courage of your convictions. There are nerds all around the world, apparently, who like this comic strip, they take the burning skeleton stunt jumper guy with a spikey jacket seriously, and if they're gonna be filling your bank account you shouldn't make fun of them. And at the same time there are people like me who are going to the movie exactly because it looks so stupid, and we would rather see you take it seriously too because then it would be alot funnier than this bullshit. Treat it seriously and everybody wins. If you think the premise is too stupid to do with a straight face then for God's sake don't make the fucking movie, you assholes" My man crush on Vern does not wane.
Ghost Rider was a complete piece of crap, but by dregmobile	Feb 18th, 2007 04:53:48 PM
SPOILERS! is worth seeing for the special effects and seeing a great looking GR on screen. Best line was something like, 'They can take my soul, but not my spirit'. That brought the house down. And shouldn't GR have boiled and evaporated all the water in the lake to kill the 'Water' villain? That scene made no sense whatsoever - like a lot of scenes in that film, I guess.
It may have been crap... by Prof Challenger	Feb 18th, 2007 07:19:14 PM
but it brought in $44.5 million this weekend. And Melbourne, Australia looks juuuuuuuuuusssst like Texas. :)
well i rather have ghost rider... by blackthought	Feb 18th, 2007 07:31:49 PM
making stupid money than norbit and night at the museum.
It was pre-300 money by Thalya	Feb 18th, 2007 07:40:09 PM
Just the same way people whetted for Episode 1 went to see The Matrix and The Mummy and thereby ruined their appetite for the main course. Of course 300 will be much much better, but still..
300 by dregmobile	Feb 18th, 2007 07:52:16 PM
I actually think 300 won't open so big. I think it's gonna alienate women, and that's a large slice of cinema audiences (DEVIL WEARS PRADA, TITANIC). Wide shot of truck leaving city in background, cut to closer shot of city - and it's a completely different city!!! Melbourne's skyline is tiny, and then you have some American city for the close-ups. At least in MATRIX: RELOADED they CGI'd the entire city, using elements of the Sydney cityscape and others. Anyway, the important thing was GR himself and he looked great. Has anyone read PEANUT BUTTER AND JEREMY'S BEST BOOK EVER? I just started it and it's great. Cute and witty with great simplistic expressions in the characters.
The GR visuals.. by Prof Challenger	Feb 18th, 2007 08:26:29 PM
are worth the price of admission to see it on the big screen. Definitely.
No fucking way by El Vale	Feb 18th, 2007 09:11:43 PM
Hey Hollywood, keep regurgitating these asinine and poorly thought out shit fests and i'll be there on opening weekend as long as they got purdy images to look at! For bloody ONCE let us send these moronic studio heads the proper message.
Same thing happened with F4 by dregmobile	Feb 18th, 2007 10:31:15 PM
Except it was bad and there was NOTHING nice to look at. Yep ... even Jessica Alba looked horrible in that film. And here comes the sequel!
The only Ghost Rider review anybody needs... by loodabagel	Feb 18th, 2007 11:10:50 PM
myspace.com/loodalou
Sorry looda by El Vale	Feb 18th, 2007 11:26:57 PM
YOu're a tad late for that party. The only Ghost Rider review anybody needs, Vern wrote about 2 days ago.
Hey guys, help me out by El Vale	Feb 19th, 2007 12:20:00 AM
Should i read the 7 Soldiers minis in any particular order?
read them all disjointed by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 12:02:46 PM
1 here, 1 there.
I can't believe all you people... by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 12:05:01 PM
went and saw GR this weekend, knew it was gonna be crap, and admit that it was crap! But guess what? It made $51M!? That means THEY WON. Way to be a cog. No, not a Cog. But a cog. Yarg!
Sorry for my bitchiness. by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 12:06:29 PM
Oh wait...here it comes...there's more!! 'Tec #8whatever: COMPLETE SUCKFEST. Yeah you heard me, Thalya.
I think regular Rogue Monday... by Thalya	Feb 19th, 2007 12:06:30 PM
..snorted cherry pie filling and became super-duper Rogue Presidents' Day Monday! Turtle! Break out the ninja T-Rexes! We're gonna need backup!
Gah!!! Don't you be dissin ma Riddla, Shig! by Thalya	Feb 19th, 2007 12:10:36 PM
And it's 'Tec #828 for that matter. That's the best issue of anything I've read this year. Suck on that! And wait, you read cape books? And P.S. I saw neither Ghost Rider nor Superman Returns nor X-3. I can see the writing on the wall miiiiiiillleesss away.
You're out of your...er, mind by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 12:20:54 PM
Best issue of anything this year ('07)?? Creezus. I have no problem with one-shot issues, but boring ones about museum art fraud and dudes with pinapples (sorry, blowfish LOL) on their heads almost killing Batman aren't my cup o' tea. Especially when said ish is filled with half-pages of EXPOSITION TIME! dialogue. And the "look, over there! the lady who was helping him all along!"... total Scooby-Doo stuff. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go scrub my brain with a brillo pad in an attempt to get the image of Riddler taking off his tie, wrapping it around an arrow and then lighting it on fire out of my mind. I picked it up on your recommendation, and cause I've like a couple of the previous Dini 'Tec issues. I don't buy a lot of cape stuff... in fact, what I picked up from the shop on Saturday was as follows: Y The Last Man #54, Ultimate Spidey #105, The Other Side #5, Scalped #2, Astonishing X-Men #20 (HOLY SHIT SO GOOD), The 60cent issue of Godland, and the first SCOTT PILGRIM trade.
oh and Detective Comics #828 by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 12:25:56 PM
obviously
Riddler taking off his tie was the best part! by Thalya	Feb 19th, 2007 12:42:44 PM
whistlescatcalls Besides, the point of it was, while it was a regular done-in-one, Riddler's getting advanced and it's only a matter of time now before he goes bad again and remembers that Bruce Wayne is Batman. The undercurrent was more the point than the actual story, and most everything that occurs in the story thematically supports it. And dude, we had Batman fighting sharks! How could you NOT like it?!
I don't count! by loodabagel	Feb 19th, 2007 12:43:07 PM
Didn't buy a ticket.
I don't count! by loodabagel	Feb 19th, 2007 12:43:09 PM
Didn't buy a ticket.
AXM was awesome by El Vale	Feb 19th, 2007 01:20:07 PM
I'm really fucking enjoying this storyline. Best moment? "I worry about the others", and they're all having tea courtesy of Emma Frost...that fucking panel brought the biggest smile to my face. Y #54...i gotta get me some of that.
Fuck YOU Peter Parker by Psynapse	Feb 19th, 2007 01:25:14 PM
That whining pansy-ass gets bitchin' superpowers from a spider bite. Me? I get 4 days wanting to die, $125.00 in medical bills (antibiotic shots to the ass BUUUURN), 2 days missed from work and a hole the size of a dime on my left arm between my elbow and shoulder. (oh yeah, and I haven't had more than 2 hours of continuous sleep since last wednesday because every time I roll over on to my left side it feels like I'm being cattle branded). So yeah, FUCK YOU May Parker's ultimate emo-nephew...
That SUCKS, Psy! by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 02:10:31 PM
Rachel was bitten by a Spider on the foot in college and she didn't get super-powers, either! She just got really freaking sick, a swollen foot, and a trip to the hospital. Brown recluse?
SO um by El Vale	Feb 19th, 2007 02:28:22 PM
Is today like a holiday of sorts?
You're exactly right! by Thalya	Feb 19th, 2007 02:30:51 PM
President's Day in th U.S., Vale. Some businesses (not mine) have off.
Oh...figures by El Vale	Feb 19th, 2007 02:51:31 PM
Thanks dahlin'.
yeah i don't get it off too by Shigeru	Feb 19th, 2007 03:32:24 PM
we didn't get mlk day off either. apparently we're commie racists.
Brown Recluse? dunno yet.... by Psynapse	Feb 19th, 2007 04:58:36 PM
Still waiting for the pathology to come back. I just know that A) it sucked MAJOR (and still does, I feel like I could sleep for a week), cost me more money than I had to spare (thank god for friend's parents with money to lend) and just well....sucked.
psy that sucks man by Darth Kal-El	Feb 19th, 2007 06:49:04 PM
fucking fake advertiesment marvel with their spider bites=super powers/hot redhead chicks.sorry to hear about it ron!i didnt get presdicents day off or MLK either but i called off on MLK.fucking racist commies aint making me go to work
I'm not sure the hot red-headed chicks.. by Thalya	Feb 19th, 2007 06:54:16 PM
..would be a selling point for dear Psy-fi. Hot James Franco types maybe? hugz to Psy-fi on the non-hurty side Poor dude, you don't get many breaks.. You are kinda like Peter Parker though. Just one thing: NEVER EVER EVER reveal your secret ID, 'k?
Secret ID? by El Vale	Feb 19th, 2007 07:05:23 PM
You mean Amazing Cranky-Sick-Man?
And Vale... by loodabagel	Feb 19th, 2007 07:38:06 PM
You were right. Vern's reviews really are the only ones that matter. Too bad I'm not him.
GR Didn't Make Money BCuz It Was Good Or People R Dumb by Buzz Maverik	Feb 20th, 2007 12:43:27 PM
It made money because there is something in that image of the flaming skull. It is tremendously iconic and powerful and I think it says something about the collective unconscious. There's also something in the modern psyche about putting it on a motorcycle. Every bad ass and wannabee badass and former bad ass responds to that image. I remember seeing this guy who looked like a former biker stop his family in front of my LCS. A Ghost Rider Dynamic Forces statue (or statuette, except the only "ettes" this guy would buy would be cigarettes) was in the window. The guy went in and paid whatever the hell stupid sum of money they charge for that crap. You could tell he had no interest in comics or fantasy or even...literacy but that image got him. Why wasn't the book a best seller? Because it was always a mess, created by an alcoholic writer and dropped into the hands of others who tried to superheroize it. Anybody skateboard? Look at the Powell Peralta McGill logo (which includes a snake along with the flaming skull). All the intellectual writing in the world isn't going drive the point home like the power of Jungian symbolism (which is why Spider-Man should have never revealed his secret identity, but that's another matter).
DC just solicited Countdown.. by Thalya	Feb 20th, 2007 12:47:23 PM
Or Newsarama reported on it rather, that it'll be in this month's Previews.
Ghost Rider moobie, 'Tec #828, AXM #20, etc. by The Heathen	Feb 20th, 2007 01:54:43 PM
First off, I hated the Fantastic Four movie and I thought that Ghost Rider made it look like Spider-Man 2 or Batman Begins as far as superhero movies are concerned. I went Sunday night with my wife and friend because we thought it would be a 'fun' kind of bad like a Bruce Campbell movie on Sci-Fi or something, but instead it was just bad, horrible, awful, the worst movie I've seen in ages. Christina looked at me at one point and said, "It's like they're using special effects to show us that the can." I love my wife for reasons like that. The effects were horrible!!! From the lamest villain ever who can anorex-ize(?) people to the wind villain (LOL) to GR's plastic looking skull. Oh man it was so bad. My friend even hated it and he likes a lot of bullshit like this. The only reason we didn't leave was because of Sam Elliot and even he was the only one half-acting. When it comes down to it though, no sweat off my back. I've only read two GR comics ever so if Johnny Blaze doesn't eat Jelly Beans out of martini glasses or listen to classical music while watching a monkey doing karate then it didn't bother me and if he does do that stuff why would I read that shit anyways? It was almost bad enough to be good, but not quite. I'm sorry for those who've read Preacher. Mark Steven Johnson is bound to fuck it up. Everything he does is worse than the last thing. Simon Birch > Daredevil > Ghost Rider. 'Tec #828 was good, but c'mon T, in no way was it the best issue this year nor the best issue of Dini's run either. The best this year has been All Star Supes #6 and AXM #20. AXM is the best. I love that panel too Vale! The pacing and the way they cut between the three groups was masterful. I loved Wolverine and Hisako's conversation after they've landed and he's regenerating. I wish Whedon and Cassaday would do another 25 issues after this run. That's it for me. Hope everyone had a good weekend. Sorry about the spidey bite Psy. One got Christina when she was little and she's still afraid of spiders.
All that, Buzz... by El Vale	Feb 20th, 2007 01:56:53 PM
And the trailer made it look really cool. At least i thought it was cool.
re: DC just solicited Countdown.. by The Heathen	Feb 20th, 2007 02:03:22 PM
So it's 52 in reverse order? Err… doesn't sound too enticing. Dini being the head writer does, but the reverse order thing is balls. I've liked 52, but I couldn't wait until it was over so I could not have to remind myself where who was when you know? Can anyone tell me what happened in Civil War #6? I never read it and I guess I want to know considering #7 is finally coming out. DID anything happen? I haven't heard anything besides it's crap.
You're right, Vale… by The Heathen	Feb 20th, 2007 02:34:02 PM
Vern never disappoints. Awesome review.
Somehow.. by Thalya	Feb 20th, 2007 02:38:51 PM
I get the feeling that Countdown might be what I was wanting 52 to be, namely absolute wild and craziness throughout the DCU, characters from different ends juxtaposed for no apparent reason, but done in new and inventive ways to place the emphasis on character and the wonder that they all exist in the same universe.. (and with no LULLS!!!) Drat. I have faith in Dini, but DC's wearing on me, and it doesn't help that they tend to get only 2 story arcs a year for each book because of all the decompression going on.
Oh Thalyaaaa... by Psynapse	Feb 20th, 2007 02:48:17 PM
Some fool named "Messi" dissed the Calculator in the Heroes TB. Get 'em girl!
If I could fix ONE THING about Newsarama... by Squashua	Feb 20th, 2007 02:49:02 PM
...and that's saying something from someone posting from AiCN, is that they need a damn RSS feed for their primary website. Not just for the BLOG, which has a RSS feed, but for the main site. Or maybe it has one and I just don't know about it.
Oh and Vale? by Psynapse	Feb 20th, 2007 02:53:10 PM
It's "Amazing-LY cranky sick man" thank you very much. (*_^)
snarls Hulks out Where?! by Thalya	Feb 20th, 2007 02:54:24 PM
Hulk smash! Faster pussycat! Kill! Kill!
It is done... by Thalya	Feb 20th, 2007 02:59:02 PM
chomps and swallows
This is brilliant... by Thalya	Feb 20th, 2007 03:29:38 PM
http://www.wizarduniverse.com/ magazine/wizard/003562848.cfm Dini is the perfect man for the job. I just hope he can keep doing 'Tec..
Hey Psy by El Vale	Feb 20th, 2007 03:56:34 PM
How does one avoid a spider bite?
I Guess Sayin' "Oh, Thalyaaa.."Is Cool Enough... by Buzz Maverik	Feb 20th, 2007 05:55:24 PM
...but I always used to hope that some other gang of comic book critics would show up here someday and say, "Oh, @$$holes, come out to pla-ay! Oh, @$$holes, come out to pla-aaay!" while some clicking bottles together over their computer. Then, the @$$holes would start smashing up crates and working loose pipes and Bug would say to me, "You covered?" and I'd pop a switchblade and slide it into my back belt loop and we'd go meet the rival critics on the beach.
I Got Bit By A Spider Once & All I Got... by Buzz Maverik	Feb 20th, 2007 05:57:34 PM
...was, like, this dome of pus in my ear. No super powers or anything.
Countdown by Shigeru	Feb 21st, 2007 08:17:31 AM
should be renamed, "we're taking even MORE of your filthy money, suckers." spare me.
Civil War #6 for Heath by Shigeru	Feb 21st, 2007 08:30:45 AM
Um uh Punisher broke into the Baxter Building and stole plans for the gulag thingy. Couple of villains showed up and tried to join Cap's side but Punny pops some caps in their asses, causing Cap (LOTS OF CAPS) to punch his face. Hulking has been impersonating Hank Pym and breaks out the heros in the super-prison. Iron Man & co. are waiting for Cap & co. at the gulag thingy... all hell's about to break loose. there you have it. thank God the last issue is out today...can we move on plz...
rollrollrollcrash! STRIKE!!! by Thalya	Feb 21st, 2007 08:37:10 AM
er, sorry Shig..
her bloody mind by Shigeru	Feb 21st, 2007 08:39:56 AM
it's lost
Dude.. by Thalya	Feb 21st, 2007 09:13:31 AM
I stopped watching Lost.
Shig… by The Heathen	Feb 21st, 2007 11:59:32 AM
you make it sound worth reading almost. I may go by Books-A-Million and read the last one. Look at that, new column is up. Last.

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