Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

By Popular Demand! Vern Reviews The GYMKATA DVD!!

Gymkata is better than Osama... by Billyeveryteen	Feb 10th, 2007 04:43:58 PM
Hilarious.
first by rdsxfan8	Feb 10th, 2007 04:44:27 PM
first
Solid Review by DarfurOnTheRocks	Feb 10th, 2007 04:50:28 PM
I think that the best part was when the hero beat back a horde of enemies on a pummel horse.
When can we expect the MegaForce review? by DarthStallion	Feb 10th, 2007 04:57:35 PM
I mean, come on...the guy goes from becoming MegaForce leader to mayor of New York. That's gotta count for something!
I remember this from when I was a kid by Fabulous Freak	Feb 10th, 2007 05:00:35 PM
I thought that pommel horse ass-kicking scene was the coolest fight ever. I'll check it out for old times sake.
Like 'Oz', Gymkata synchs with Dark Side of the Moon by Pound Sand	Feb 10th, 2007 05:00:50 PM

The original aspect ratio is sumptuously transferred... by Daddylonghead	Feb 10th, 2007 05:07:02 PM
Hilarious.
Great review by Bobo_Vision	Feb 10th, 2007 05:15:04 PM
Even though the movie sounds like a stinker, this review made me curious enough to want to see it.
saw this in high school after 17th birthday by Sir Loin	Feb 10th, 2007 05:15:28 PM
...which means I could FINALLY go to R-rated movies on my own. Woohoo! Even took a girl to see this, the selling point that it's martial arts but really "super gymnastics" and she fell for it. Once, anyway...great review, btw! Thanks for the laughs.
Bullshit, Mr Han Man! by triplefive	Feb 10th, 2007 05:15:47 PM
now i wanna watch ENTER THE DRAGON
"Other extras include an FBI warning . . . " by CreasyBear	Feb 10th, 2007 05:24:49 PM
On top of things as usual, Vern my man.
A new feature. We get to decide what Vern reviews... by Alonzo Mosely	Feb 10th, 2007 05:34:58 PM
This could transform AICN. I vote for the entire Children of the Corn series... Just because I am evil...
When I first read the title... by The Dum Guy	Feb 10th, 2007 05:44:44 PM
I thought this had sumthin to do with "Gun-gata", but this actually sounds more interesting.
...You Come Straight outta a comic book! by DarfurOnTheRocks	Feb 10th, 2007 06:23:11 PM
Jim Kelly's famous last words in Enter the Dragon.
Ok, talk about WEIRD coincidences... by JimmyLoneWolf	Feb 10th, 2007 06:23:56 PM
Last night I decided to do a SEARCH for Harry's past Dvd Picks and Peeks...I was re-arranging my netflix qeue and I wanted see if there were any titles I missed from Harry's original column (thank god its back btw). I assumed those columns were lost forever (I seem to have mixed luck with the AiCN search engine most of the time) but I figured I'd give it a try. Imagine my surprise when all of his past columns came up! Gymkata was one of the first titles I added! Its funny that if I hadn't JUST gotten the idea to check out those old columns, I'd probably have just skipped this feature not knowing what it was about! Sometimes, things just fall into place...
PS: my two favorite lines from this review by JimmyLoneWolf	Feb 10th, 2007 06:36:50 PM
"it has no funk. Because it stars Kurt Thomas. It doesn't deserve funk." and "Worse, he just looks like a complete dipshit. There is nothing tough about this guy at all. And that's why America loves it." Thanks for an entertaining read...
monster2Bpitied by Alonzo Mosely	Feb 10th, 2007 06:42:43 PM
The people are speaking... Democracy in action... Vern will be powerless and will have to dance to the tunes we play... Muhahahaha...
damn I read that as Gunkata.... by Kizeesh	Feb 10th, 2007 06:49:16 PM
my hopes were dashed
Not a single mention of American Anthem?!? by chrth	Feb 10th, 2007 06:55:16 PM
You disappoint me Vern.
Will There Be An "American Ninja" Review? by Mr. Nice Gaius	Feb 10th, 2007 07:27:26 PM
Vern - the genius that is Michael Dudikoff has been ignored for FAR TOO LONG. Search your cinematic feelings...you know this to be true. Should this come out in a deluxe edition DVD gift-set, I will expect it to be reviewed alongside its riveting sequel, "American Ninja 2: The Confrontation" and Dudikoff's triumphant kick-cock return in "American Ninja 4: The Annihilation". Yours in Dudikoff, MNG
The 1980 Olympics Boycott = idiocy by Barry Egan	Feb 10th, 2007 08:04:29 PM
Jimmy Carter is a well intentioned idiot.
Sons of El Topo... by keepcoolbutcare	Feb 10th, 2007 08:20:28 PM
drools Loved the "Letters from Iwo Jima" review as well...
this review made me laugh out loud several times by themostgigantichotbananaofalltim e	Feb 10th, 2007 08:38:18 PM
thanks, vern for the most entertaining review i've read on this site in quite awhile.
Extended cut? by Calico Pete	Feb 10th, 2007 09:00:38 PM
This DVD is just another attempt to cash in. Does WB think we're stupid enough to double-dip when the extended edition comes out? BTW, does anyone know when it's supposed to come out and whether it'll have the legendary balance-beam scene?
Where the Hell is the GYMKATA DVD Review!!?? by Donnie_Drunko	Feb 10th, 2007 09:01:00 PM
Oh wait SWEET BABY JESUS the glorious day has finally arrived. Thank YOU Vern you are the MAN!!!The review was hilarious and everything I dreamed it would be. I feel like one of those little sick kids who's dream gets made a reality. This ranks second to Stallone promising to come into Wal-Mart when hes in town and shadow boxing with me. A side note :I woke up to find my newly purchased GYMKATA DVD in my mail box. I just opened the dvd and like 5 minutes later I see the review. Life is good my friends Life is good. Now its time to enjoy some GYMKATA goodness!!!
Ever seen "Kill and Kill Again"? by TORTURE PWN	Feb 10th, 2007 10:19:06 PM
Now there's an action movie definitely worth a Vern review.
80 Boycott wasn't idiocy, it was genious! by chrth	Feb 10th, 2007 10:29:17 PM
It led to the 84 boycott, and the US winning 10 gazillion medals, and the USSR was so overwhelmed by the US' athletic strength they tore down the Berlin Wall, abandoned Communism, and promised to show up in Atlanta in 96.
Steve Chase is the South African Chuck Norris by Vic Twenty	Feb 10th, 2007 10:29:26 PM
TORTURE PWN, you nailed it! Kill and Kill Again is an all-time classic. Steve Chase and his merry band of mercenaries taking it to the evil Marduke (with one of the classic fake beards in cinematic history) and his evil fist named Optimist Prime. I shit you not. When I first saw the Transformers and heard the name Optimus Prime, I was expecting a bushy-stached South African dude in a karate gi. But that was not to be. But Steve Chase does not ask his team to fight by his side - he must defeat them all to prove they are his bitches. He out muscles Gorilla (the late great Ken Gampu), out zens the Fly (he fucking FLOATS), slaps the shit out of Gypsy Billy in the trailer park out-gambles Hot Dog. All to save a kidnapped scientist and nail his daughter. Marduke's beard still haunts my memory...it is the stuff of legend.....
Gymkata wins the award for the by LordTwinkie	Feb 11th, 2007 12:07:50 AM
Greatest Inverted Crotch shot of all time. I found this gem of a flick at a used book store for a $1.25, I saw the cover and knew i had to buy it, after watching it I realized I had just seen one of the greatest film ever. That is untill i watched the $1.25 Lion Man flick i picked up at the same time, now thats a film that needs to come out on dvd.
PUMA MAN VS LION MAN by Mace Tofu	Feb 11th, 2007 12:42:35 AM
GYMKATA VS KILL AND KILL AGAIN. All good times in a bad way. Thanks for the review, saves me from renting the DVD ( I paid to see Gymkata first-run so fool me once... but I do have fond memories of the gym bar in the alley scene and that is worth a rental just for the WTF?. ) LordTwinkie, check out PUMA MAN for another crazy WTF? movie.
Hey Vic Twenty! by TORTURE PWN	Feb 11th, 2007 12:53:15 AM
It's been awhile,but wasn't there also a plot to brainwash people using potatoes?...maybe it was just a dream...
I feel really, really sorry for by BannedOnTheRun	Feb 11th, 2007 03:28:43 AM
Barbra Streisand's mirror. That's a shit job.
Great review. by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies	Feb 11th, 2007 04:23:48 AM
My love for Vern is very large.
Makes me want to watch the superior House of the Dead by AvengingFist	Feb 11th, 2007 04:58:52 AM
Then followed by Alone in the Dark.
Just my humble opinion... by JERRY HORROR	Feb 11th, 2007 05:34:40 AM
Robert Clouse is a hack, who won the lottery ticket of directing Bruce Lee in his stateside debut. Gymkata is pretty bad, I do enjoy some of the fight sequences. I would kill, I mean kill to get No Retreat, No Surender box set and King Of the Kickboxers. I need help.
How dare you . . . by onefatman	Feb 11th, 2007 07:16:36 AM
. . . make fun of the mighty karate kid! Ralph Macchio is turning in his grave. All of my life's lessons, especially how to break ice with my bare hands, came from those movies. Without them I'd be using an icepick like every other retard. Come down to my dojo and I'll teach you a thing or two about movie reviewing.
Big kudos to the guys... by DocPazuzu	Feb 11th, 2007 07:59:49 AM
...who mentioned the James Ryan classic Kill and Kill Again. I prefer Kill or be Killed myself with that weirdo martial arts tournament in the desert organized by a loony nazi. Gotta love them zany South African early 80s kung fu movies.
"Gymnastics skill with karate kill!" by blackshuck	Feb 11th, 2007 08:26:38 AM
...That was the tagline in the ads. It's one of the best I have ever heard.
onefatman, uh Macchio is still alive... by ComputerGuy68	Feb 11th, 2007 09:06:57 AM
it is the "Hip Nip" who would be doing the spinning.
'gymnasticing people in the face' - CLASSIC!! by BendersShinyAss	Feb 11th, 2007 10:26:25 AM
You're a funny fuck vern
Gymkata clip by Cinemajerk	Feb 11th, 2007 12:39:05 PM
If you wanna see the awesome badness that is gymkata, but dont want to watch the whole thing, just click here: http://youtube.com/watch?v=e3y inh25Uhs
"Village Of the Crazies" and the cry of "YAKMALA!" by Uncapie	Feb 11th, 2007 01:26:46 PM
By far, the best scenes in the movie!
Kill and Kill Again by TORTURE PWN	Feb 11th, 2007 02:48:01 PM
The new "must review" movie!Please?
Gymkata = Gay people wants action movie of their own by AvengingFist	Feb 11th, 2007 04:17:13 PM
KUMBAYA!
AvengingFist = Homophobes wants make funny joke by Vern	Feb 11th, 2007 08:46:50 PM
I worked too hard on this review to have some schmucks ruin it with this stupid pointing and laughing at gay people bullshit you kids are so into these days. Maybe if you spent less time gay bashing and more time practicing your comedy chops you would come up with some better ones. Gay people didn't ask to be gay nor did they ask for GYMKATA. It is 2007 in my opinion, not the fucking dark ages, tolerance is easily accessible, so there's no excuse for you. I think you can do it bud. Get it together. Thanks AvengingFist.
HA! by Kurutteru Yatsu	Feb 11th, 2007 09:27:26 PM
"Gay people didn't ask to be gay nor did they ask for GYMKATA." That's possibly one of the best things I've ever read on this site. Mad props to you, Vernie Mac.
Thanks Vern. by AvengingFist	Feb 11th, 2007 09:45:01 PM
Double Kumbaya
Considering the percentages... by MCVamp	Feb 12th, 2007 03:01:56 AM
I'm sure that somewhere out there in this crazy world there are some gay people who, in fact, asked for GYMKATA. And anyone who asks for GYMKATA, gay or straight, deserves it. Is HAMBURGER: THE MOTION PICTURE on DVD yet? It's tasty, by God.
Oh for God's sake... by Phimseto	Feb 12th, 2007 08:13:32 AM
...great review, Vern, but seriously people need to get off their high horses here. "Boo hoo. You're intolerant. Weep." Remember your line about how a culture could allow "The Karate Kid" to become a cultural milestone? You just exhibited why right there.
Bare-assed Crazy (w/P.S. to Torture PWN) by Spaceman Spliff	Feb 12th, 2007 10:32:53 AM
Man, I'm so glad Gymkata has become a subject of public discussion. I'm (only slightly) embarrassed to admit that this movie used to be one of my HBO favorites back when I was--like--thirteen. Speaking of "bare-assed," though, that one crazy guy with the cut-out monk robe haunted my nightmares. I just couldn't get my mind around it. Oh, and P.S. to Torture PWN: You can't watch "Kill and Kill Again" without seeing "Kill or Be Killed" first. I mean, how else can you hope to understand what's going on?
Spaceman Spliff by TORTURE PWN	Feb 12th, 2007 11:16:26 AM
Then a Double Feature we demand!Or humbly request,that is.But really KaKA(!)is pretty much self explanatory.But why not review both?Vern,what sayest ye?
Steve Chase was the MAN! by Billyeveryteen	Feb 12th, 2007 12:33:18 PM
He howled louder than Bruce.
Vern,Steve Chase was INDEED the man by TORTURE PWN	Feb 12th, 2007 01:19:18 PM
The people are speaking!Chase's "Kill" movies are the stuff of legend!Vern,treat yourself to two of the craziest low budge 80s action films ever produced(especially KaKA).Then please treat us to one of your insightful,often hilarious,but no less informative reviews.You won't be sorry,and,I'm sure,neither will we.Keep up the good work!p.s.
What I was going to ask ... by TORTURE PWN	Feb 12th, 2007 01:26:56 PM
before my 18 month old shut my computer down,was if you,Vern,have ever done,been asked,or considered doing a commentary track for anything?
The best line from "Swim-Kata", starring Mark Spitz: by eraser_x	Feb 12th, 2007 01:50:15 PM
"Stop, or I will Swim you to Destruction!" :-)
Funnier than Gymkata itself. by www.valiens.com	Feb 12th, 2007 02:54:23 PM
"Gay people didn't ask to be gay nor did they ask for GYMKATA." Much like the movies you review I can't tell if that was sincere dialogue or intended as a joke but either way I need it on a T-shirt.
I learned Gymkata from TBS & MST3K by Willbryant	Feb 12th, 2007 05:43:39 PM
Hey Vern, I loved the review. For years this movie's title has been like a punchline between me and my friends because it would always get pre-empted by baseball on TBS and Crow T. Robot would often yell it out during a lame fight scene. Your review has only piqued my interest in the cinematic stupidity that is "Gymkata." Thanks, I'm off to the video store.
Vern really adores Gymkata I guess by AvengingFist	Feb 12th, 2007 07:11:41 PM
I however am looking forward to Postal by herr doctor Uwe Boll.
Cinemajerk... by Zarles	Feb 12th, 2007 09:20:00 PM
Thanks for the link. The crotch shot of Kurt Thomas while he's walking upstairs on his hands is fucking hilarious. You rock.
hilarious by homer40	Feb 20th, 2007 11:39:09 AM
I was at Circuit City the day this came in. I saw it by the register and just started laughing, remembering the classic pommel horse action. The salesepeople had never heard of it, and soon I had a crowd listening to my nostalgic rememberances of the film. We used to laugh and laugh just saying the title "Gymkata", though I never actually bothered to see it.
can't believe I missed reading this by just pillow talk	Mar 20th, 2007 02:38:57 PM
Tears were flowing down my face at work while I read this. I applaud you Vern.
a dude covered in bees jerking off by Drexl Spivey	Mar 22nd, 2007 04:58:03 PM
Another fine write up by Vern the shining beacon of hope in a world of internet bullshit gone wild.

Talkbacks

By Popular Demand! Vern Reviews The GYMKATA DVD!!

User login

Quick Talkback

Talkbacks