Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

A Music Video To Praise The One True Film God... Michael Bay!

I could have lived the rest of my life happy by Virtual Satyr	Feb 6th, 2007 01:51:23 PM
Not seeing this.
Wow by jslstrauss	Feb 6th, 2007 01:54:16 PM
That was retarded.
I feel embaressed for that guy by Kizeesh	Feb 6th, 2007 01:54:17 PM
I mean I'm happy that he's happy, but he's tone deaf.
And another thing by jslstrauss	Feb 6th, 2007 01:56:20 PM
Why is it that crap like this gets put up as cool news? This is in no way newsworthy, and it's further from cool than The Island. Ridiculous.
Michael Bay Biopic by Spandau Belly	Feb 6th, 2007 02:01:49 PM
Starring Christian Bale in full coke-snorting sports car-driving mode. Directed by Tony Scott
yes, it is retarded by HEADGEEK	Feb 6th, 2007 02:03:03 PM
But joyfully, unashamedly retarded. Retarded with GLEE on top. It makes me giggle like watching AB KING talking about Arnold and Sly coming back to reclaim their crowns. It is a thing of glory.
cough by blckmgk13	Feb 6th, 2007 02:04:25 PM
ummm yeah
That guy looks like Justin Long. by HellKing	Feb 6th, 2007 02:05:30 PM
I remember watching Tranformers The Movie and hearing that song on the soundtrack. That guy really butchered it.
Bay is flippin' tanks for TF. Effin' Tanks. by triplefive	Feb 6th, 2007 02:05:45 PM
thats what he does best. he went from cars to boats to tanks...all he has left is to send entire commuter trains sailing through the air.
And this is why EVERYONE hates Harry by LaudnerGomez	Feb 6th, 2007 02:08:29 PM
Mori has turned into a self-righteous prick, but Harry... well, Harry is a buffoon who is on the Dreamworks payroll.
That's The Dirk Digger Song from Boogie Nights by Sean38	Feb 6th, 2007 02:09:15 PM
Dude totally ripped off the song from Boogie Nights where Marky Mark tries (and fails miserably) to make it in the music industry. "We are guaranteed a record contract! Our shit is that good!"
Sean38 by Virtual Satyr	Feb 6th, 2007 02:11:31 PM
If you are kidding..I apoologize..but that is from the animatedTransformers: The Movie originally.
No, I'm Not Kidding. by Sean38	Feb 6th, 2007 02:13:24 PM
That's the song from Boogie Nights. "You've got the touch. You've got the power." If that's originally from the animated Transformers movie then P.T. Anderson is even more of a genius than I gave him credit for.
One True Film God? by amano	Feb 6th, 2007 02:13:42 PM
All signs point to suck. Cool explosions. Nothing says this is Transformers to me yet. I'm not holding a single shred of hope that this Transformers movie will be good in the fans eyes. A prediction - action good, story bad.
Yeah..I know Dirk Diggler sang it by Virtual Satyr	Feb 6th, 2007 02:17:05 PM
I just wanted to point out that there was a connecting reason for this dude choosing that song. And Buck tried to sell a TK421. And if you don't get that reference..shame on you.
Yeah, I got the TK421 reference. by Sean38	Feb 6th, 2007 02:18:33 PM
The Transformation Animated Movie was a little after my time. Damn, I love Boogie NIghts even more now.
Don't quit your day job, dude... by Rupee88	Feb 6th, 2007 02:20:20 PM
It would have been less annoying with less shots of the singer and more montage. Well, I made it through 15 seconds, which says something.
Harry got the BIG touch by Prague23	Feb 6th, 2007 02:23:22 PM
I don't hate Harry LaudnerGomez, because he was really nice when I met him. In my old videostore Scarecrow Video in Seattle when he popped in for a visit. By the way, if anyone's interested- IMDB has an early review for Across The Universe which I guess doesn't come out until September? That sux, would be a great spring afternoon..
MCLMXXII dude...come out come out wherever you are... by just pillow talk	Feb 6th, 2007 02:24:03 PM
Here's your chance to shine!
"which may be old news for some of you" by Amy Chasing	Feb 6th, 2007 02:26:27 PM
well at least you're starting to admit it Harry ;)
MCLMXXII's GOTTA EAT !!! by Se7en	Feb 6th, 2007 02:37:53 PM
Bay Rocks. I swear.
I miss you more than Michael Bay missed the mark ... by chrth	Feb 6th, 2007 02:40:43 PM
when he made Pearl Harbor I miss you more than that movie missed the point, and that's an awful lot girl ... Why does Michael Bay keep on making movies? I guess Pearl Harbor sucks ... just a little more than I miss you.
The guy singing is not only in need by ewokstew	Feb 6th, 2007 02:45:06 PM
of a better singing voice, but an Orthodontist as well.
Wow Sean38 by CondomWrapper	Feb 6th, 2007 02:50:16 PM
You didn't know that Stan Bush "classic" was originally in Transformers The Movie (personally I prefer Stan Bush's other masterpeice: Dare)? You thought it was originally in Boogie Nights, good Lord, then you missed the joke in that film? Your geek credentials have been permanently revoked for such heresy! Next thing I'm going to here is that you didn't know that BET stood for broadcast energy transmitter. Jeezus!
Does he really blow shit up better than anyone? by epitone	Feb 6th, 2007 02:50:42 PM
So his talent is calling a good effects guy and telling him to blow some shit up? Or rather, telling his line producer to have his assistant call the production office and get the coordinator to page her head office P.A. and have him e-mail the effects guy and tell him to blow some shit up? Because if Michael Bay really IS better than anyone at doing that, then I tip my hat. (Disclaimer: I do think The Rock is a great movie. But I also think after that he should have gone back to making Meat Loaf videos.)
I couldn't understand him either by CondomWrapper	Feb 6th, 2007 02:51:23 PM
But I was too busy being amused by the fact that someone took the time to make that.
HARRY: "I really like Michael Bay" by la_sith	Feb 6th, 2007 03:00:05 PM
THAT is why you fail.
I liked "the Island"... by Novaman5000	Feb 6th, 2007 03:05:54 PM
...What?
Film gods gotta eat!! by boba_rob	Feb 6th, 2007 03:11:53 PM
Best. Video. Ever.
Poor Guy by nada_lives	Feb 6th, 2007 03:12:12 PM
I feel bad for him - not so much for the performance, but because everyone seems to have missed that the video is basically a parody of the original Stan Bush video, right down to the lightning bolts shooting off the neck of the guitar: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =30BFrLl07r4
Anyone can do this shit. by Kasch	Feb 6th, 2007 03:17:47 PM
Some guy changes the lyrics to a Boogie Nights joke and sings incomprehensible lyrics about Michael Bay? Why the fuck is this here? Of all the funny shit on YouTube, why post this lame video?
This cool news is 'almost' as good as an industrial.... by BGDAWES	Feb 6th, 2007 03:20:46 PM
light - that's magic! Remember that one fellow talkbackers. That was another Harry classic. Also his glowing review of M. Night Shamalamadingdong's Lady in the Water where he talks about little girls in the shower or some other random gay shit like that. You gotta love it when Harry posts anything other than his DVD pics because the way the TB's slam him is priceless AND hilarious.
Kasch by CondomWrapper	Feb 6th, 2007 03:21:10 PM
Obviously you're not a golfer.
How much you want to bet Brendan Coleman's pissed? by chrth	Feb 6th, 2007 03:26:52 PM
"Why won't they post my shitty video?!?!? WAAAAH!!!!"
Like I Said CW... by Sean38	Feb 6th, 2007 03:29:44 PM
...I was a little old for the whole Transformers thing. I've never seen SEEN Transformers: The Animated Movie. So that one went right by me. Still, now that I know, it's incredibly cool.
This is NOT cool news by slone13	Feb 6th, 2007 03:31:45 PM
Not by any stretch of the imagination.
That song made the baby Jebus cry. by Pound Sand	Feb 6th, 2007 03:34:14 PM

I second Rubiks Doob. by BGDAWES	Feb 6th, 2007 03:34:36 PM
That sucked and fuck you.
I feel dirty by Jotham	Feb 6th, 2007 03:36:12 PM
I want to see Transformers be cool as much as the next 80's kid, but that video made be want to take a shower to wash the icky off.
Fantastic!! Thank you! by monorail77	Feb 6th, 2007 03:37:25 PM
Thank you to Harry for posting. Thank you to that guy for making the video. This totally made my day. It was almost ruined by the poor, idiot talkbackers who just don't fucking get how great this is, but I got over it because of this video's powerful awesomeness. There's at least 4 levels of awesome in that video. This is definitely cool news. Love it.
These TB's are fucked up Harry... by BGDAWES	Feb 6th, 2007 03:39:49 PM
It's almost funny, if you look back through the threads I second Rubiks Doob before he makes his post. Also Harry - CHANGE THE AICN ANIMATION ALREADY! I mean, fuck, it's February.....fuck.
Original ownage by sic	Feb 6th, 2007 03:40:05 PM
http://tinyurl.com/2hgjpp
That was way too long, but still enjoyable. by rbatty024	Feb 6th, 2007 03:49:19 PM
I'll admit, I liked the original Bad Boys and The Rock. Other than that, Bay has had a pretty bad list of movies.
....Boogie Nights? by LHombreSiniestro	Feb 6th, 2007 03:52:04 PM
I'm sure many of you realize that song was used in the 80s animated Transformers The Movie, but some of you don't. Which is why the clip is hilarious, because Michael Bay is directing Transformers. It wouldn't be as funny if the guy didn't have lightning bolts on the neck of his guitar. I read someone say "HE RIPPED OFF BOOGIE NIGHTS", and sighed.
I agree with Harry by Neo Zeed	Feb 6th, 2007 03:53:51 PM
Not about this video though. This video sucked, but rather about The Island being one of Bay's weakest. It seemed like Bay wanted to push it into a hardcore R-rated territory like the 80's (probably to make up for that weak script) but seemed held back by the PG-13. At least Transformers is a better fit for PG-13 (Although the same screenwriters from the Island are on this one.) Myself, I'd like to see him to do Bad Boys 3 just to see if he can top the mayhem of part 2. I don't think so, but hey you never know!
and DUH included... by LHombreSiniestro	Feb 6th, 2007 03:53:52 PM
of COURSE, everyone knows that Michael Bay has directed Transformers, I was just connecting the dots of logic as funny; so before someone pounces on me and yells "DERRR!", I was just providing formalities.
I couldn't understand half of what that guy was singing by mistergreen	Feb 6th, 2007 03:55:01 PM
very much like michael bay's movies.
Didn't understand a word of that by CTU Mole	Feb 6th, 2007 03:59:29 PM
It sounded like Michael Bay was gnawing on the guy's bahl saque.
Just Got Off the Phone with MCLMXXII by Im rich bitch	Feb 6th, 2007 04:02:41 PM
The guy is in a trauma. Harry get this thing off the site.
Holy shit, that song from Boogie Nights was real? by CTU Mole	Feb 6th, 2007 04:10:23 PM
I thought it was just an awesome made up shitty 80's song. Holy Christ. I want to see that movie again now, except it's so depressing.
M.Bay is a Bi+@h by AvengingFist	Feb 6th, 2007 04:11:10 PM
Mr Bay movies look nice but they are dumb. Thats all there is to it. Superficial crap.
It's not news by Purgatori	Feb 6th, 2007 04:11:18 PM
but in it's brilliant in its doofiness. This is what my husband and I call "Grin Rock" Or in this guys case "Grimmace Rock" but still... Doofily Brilliant
The video needs a shot of dancing John C. Reilly... by Flim Springfield	Feb 6th, 2007 04:14:32 PM
...pretty sad that the guy is a worse singer than Dirk Diggler, though.
seclond the fact this is unintelligible by BadMrWonka	Feb 6th, 2007 04:19:25 PM
it's actually amazing. he's singing loudly, and, in a sense, clearly...but I can't understand 80% of the words. it's fascinating. it's like he's hit a frequency that you can't understand, like the one that the Mythbusers used to break the wine glass...listen at 1:54...what the FUCK is he saying? this is hilarious though...
I hope........ by erichaislar	Feb 6th, 2007 04:20:58 PM
Stan bush fucking sues this guy and Michael bay
BREAKDOWN OF BAY FLICKS... by moto	Feb 6th, 2007 04:23:02 PM
BAD BOYS basically made a star out of Will Smith... badass action and some great laughs. BAD BOYS 2 was just as fun, albeit a bit over-the-top. THE ROCK was a fun, studio action flick and made Nic Cage into a bankable star. Great casting with him, Connery, and Harris. ARMAGEDDON was a guilty pleasure studio action... albeit with a TERRIBLE third act (Deep Impact was a much better film quality-wise... but obviously not as fun). PEARL HARBOR was a travesty!! Yes, the actual attack was filmed wonderfully with excellent effects, but the love story was disrespectful to the men and women who died in that attack. The real life characters portrayed by Gooding Jr. and Sizemore were reduced to mere extended cameos when they should have been the focus. Terrible and disrespectful movie... although it LOOKED picture perfect, as do all of Bay's films. THE ISLAND also LOOKED great... but story-wise you could tell that the studio and possibly Bay fucked with the script too much, as an earlier draft showed much more potential. So what's my point with all of this?? Bay is not NEARLY as "bad" as many TBers acuse him of being. He makes fun big studio action pics that the general audience love to see. Escapism. Nothing wrong with that. And the box office numbers do prove that he is THE contender when it comes to taking on big action pics. Can't wait for Transformers! Now Uwe Boll (sp?) , Paul Anderson, and even Brett Ratner to a lesser extent, are fucking hacks. Ratner made a somewhat commendable film with Cage's FAMILY MAN, and X3 was partly his... which is good or bad depending upon your likes. Anderson and Uwe... hacks thus far. They deserve the "DAMN YOUs". Bay is what he is. Nobody ever said he was a Hitchcock. He can entertain.
FUCK YOUTUBE MICHAEL BAY! by Cyberfury	Feb 6th, 2007 04:25:52 PM
Youtube gotta eat too..
Harry just got off the phone with Dreamworks by CTU Mole	Feb 6th, 2007 04:29:55 PM
They apologize for the check not clearing but ask him not to pull this story anyway.
That was a good post Moto by Neo Zeed	Feb 6th, 2007 04:31:26 PM
Honest and to the point.
I Love Michael Bay by Womb2dooM	Feb 6th, 2007 04:33:34 PM
Band Wagon Bitches be DAMNED!!! Yeah, sniff my taint, prudes!
PIZZA PARTY PIZZA PARTY! by JAGUART	Feb 6th, 2007 04:47:33 PM
I felt like I was wearing headgear just watching that.
re:Aerosmith by DrFarben	Feb 6th, 2007 04:47:50 PM
They're shit.
DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY! by iwontwin	Feb 6th, 2007 04:55:48 PM
i said it, thas right.
You know, I can think of two reasons... by Anna Valerious	Feb 6th, 2007 05:13:34 PM
...why Joseph Kahn would've made a better "Transformers" movie. Exhibit A-BSB's "Larger Than Life"- http://tinyurl.com/23enge (The story goes that Joseph talked Nick out of being a ninja in this video to be a half-human Transformer) and Exhibit B-Aerosmith's "Fly Away From Here"- http://tinyurl.com/29dlut I'll still see the film, but they totally got the wrong guy for the job.
I am no longer a geek by Staldo	Feb 6th, 2007 05:21:55 PM
As a geek and a singer, I have to say, that video was so bad it hurt my feelings. Geeks suck, singing geeks, doubly so. I am officially selling off not only my Transformers toys and memorabilia, but my vocal humidifier, microphone and all my sheet music, and use the money to buy something sensible like a used purple Chevy Tahoe. I would donate the money to charity, but I don't want to get endlessly mailed and called about donating more, and besides, one of the children whose lives I save might become a geek. In fact, my faith in not only geekdom, but humanity has been shaken, and I am going to have to join in the liberal nutcases over on the Lake of Fire TB in saying all humans are worthless and basically deserve to die. That is how cringe-inducingly, earth shatteringly sad that video was. I will never be able to listen to Stan Bush's The Touch ever again. Not that it was that listenable in the first place.
I like Aerosmith too by purplemonkeydw	Feb 6th, 2007 05:24:29 PM
Sincerely, The 70's and 90's.
GHHHEEEEEEEEEEIIIYY!!!!!!!!! by Kai_Mah'gra	Feb 6th, 2007 05:28:32 PM
.....that is all. Carry on.
is that dude deaf or something? by funnyhat	Feb 6th, 2007 05:33:26 PM
seriously. he sounded awful. what motivates someone to do something like this?
BREAKDOWN OF BAY FLICKS : by moto by Kai_Mah'gra	Feb 6th, 2007 05:33:38 PM
.....YAAAAAAAWWWWWN!!!! That's some good valium sh** right there......
well, i can tell this video was meant to be a joke, but by hif4life	Feb 6th, 2007 05:33:59 PM
it was still not funny and painful to sit trhough, i dont know if the guy is really a bad singer or he was just doing it as a joke(at least i hope so) but christ, this video missed its mark just like bay missed his... oh and damn you michael bay, choke on a coke and retired already
Michael Bay Fucking Lost!! by Doc_Strange	Feb 6th, 2007 05:37:26 PM
The guy who originally said that is no longer around so....
That MIGHT be funny by El Scorcho	Feb 6th, 2007 05:41:30 PM
if I could understand more than 1 out of every 10 words he sang. And what a fucking annoying voice.
Bay better get used to music videos by photoboy	Feb 6th, 2007 05:48:51 PM
It's all he'll be doing once that abortion of a Transformers movie he's making gets crapped out of his ass to the cinemas.
I Have A Confession... by Mr. Nice Gaius	Feb 6th, 2007 05:51:43 PM
...I posted a link to this video in a TB months ago. Now, as I read the flow of this TB, I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that. And I can't believe some of you are actually bitching about this guy's voice. It's part of the gag.
Michael Bay and Transformers by jasper Stillwell	Feb 6th, 2007 05:55:58 PM
I think Bay's an ego-maniacal corporate macho doofus that makes stupid, superficial crap that shamelessly panders to absolutely the lowest common denominator. 'Armageddon' was truly a low-water mark in cinematic terms and believe me I ain't no snob about cinema here. That was a steaming pile of over-priced crap that said it's OK to insult your audience's intelligence as long as you wave 'priddy' colours at 'em. He is yet another reason why modern blockbuster films are so shite when they don't have to be. 'Raiders of the Lost Ark' didn't pander to me, 'Die Hard' never did (the epitome of the 'pared down', high concept action flick) - I have an old-fashioned belief that action films can also be of some quality rather than cynical money grabbing exercises. They don't have to be empty, loud and an inslut to anyone's intelligence over the age of 9. Man, I always feel like Bay has been through my pockets after seeing one of his films. Thus I suspect he will be the perfect match for Transformers. I will get to see cool big robots 'blow stuff up' and that will be it really. I'll be left with nothing that I will ever want to ever see again on DVD or will leave the slightest trace wioth me once I leave the cinema. Aim high, Bay, aim high.
HAHAHA that was funny cuz he was like from the 80s!!!!! by Norm Cascade	Feb 6th, 2007 05:58:49 PM
THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING, HARRY!!! Also, Aerosmith blows.
American Idol Plz... by lfhlaw	Feb 6th, 2007 05:58:51 PM
Where's Simon Cowell when you need him?
jasper Stillwell by hif4life	Feb 6th, 2007 06:04:19 PM
so you hate bay's films but you still will fork over money to see them? gee......
THE DUDE GOTTA EAT TOO by djkrysiz	Feb 6th, 2007 06:05:13 PM
GHEYEST THING EVER!!!!!!!!!
This just ruined my night.... by Turd Furgeson	Feb 6th, 2007 06:09:46 PM
I think I just died a little inside.....
I'm glad it's not just me who couldn't understand by Big Jim	Feb 6th, 2007 06:22:44 PM
what he was singing. I think maybe he doesn't have a tongue.
Now I'm CERTAIN Dreamworks/Paramount is in this site's by JusticeSabre	Feb 6th, 2007 06:30:09 PM
Have you all seen the CGI Frenzy yet? Looks like a sculpture made of scissors... MBFL™
Uhhhh, boy. That was, uhh... something. by Trancer	Feb 6th, 2007 06:41:07 PM
Wow.
Man, this was stupid. by Im rich bitch	Feb 6th, 2007 06:44:03 PM
You know fellas, I really wonder what the REAL deal is behind posting this retard crap. Really, I figured Harry being a little more wiser than going for this kind of stuff. Plus Michael Bay is way better than many of the people making movies out there. Not saying the guy is stepping the game up or anything, but if you know him by now you know what to expect. So if you dont like it avoid, I personally get a kick out of his stuff and most def goona be watching Transformers, you know, not really making anything out of it rather than an update on new shots, CG stuff and the latest on the Bay's "blow shit up" proportions. After I'll just slip back home and get back to my collection, watch something more stimulating for my intellect. Dont hate, the guy makes a lot of effort and really I have seen a lot worse than Bay. What I get from watching his movies is that he is very passionate and he really loves his craft, and that I can apreciate.
OLD. by GibsonUSA Returns	Feb 6th, 2007 07:00:35 PM
OLD AS DIRT. I saw that vid a billion years ago,.
That Song Made Diora Baird's Breasts Sad by Kirbymanly	Feb 6th, 2007 07:01:35 PM
Even if its bad on purpose...its not even so bad its funny.
Lyrics from YouTube: by Zoolander	Feb 6th, 2007 07:03:12 PM
Tribute video for Michael Bay, director of the upcoming Transformers movie, and Stan Bush, performer of the original Transformers anthem "The Touch" CDs of this and more will be available at San Diego Comic Con 2007 this July! Lyrics: He's Michael Bay He's got the power Yeah! Bay's about on screen action Exciting scenes are number one This is awesome Some people needlessly talk shit Even before they have seen it All those guys are fools Pearl Harbor kicked ass, that attack scene was rough there were planes and explosions and that was enough! You've got to shoot Shoot for the edit When a big asteroid's loose Send up Bruce with a nuclear bomb Crash all those cars Run in slow motion For action there's only one way It's got to be Bay! With Michael Bay's reputation I know Transformers will be one Kick ass movie Imagine how cool it will feel When Optimus Prime, tough as steel Transforms and looks around Forget the haters who do nothing but knock Like your movie with Sean, The Transformers will Rock! You've got to shoot Shoot for the edit When the drug dealers run Have Will chase them and dodge all the cars Drive at top speed Blow up that hangar You know at the end of the day Action is Bay! His films are on fire! I know Bay's got the touch! Fast cars and guns, planes fighting in the sky So for The Transformers, Bay is the perfect guy He's Michael Bay He's got the power Yeah! He's Michael Bay He's got the power BAY!
WTF? by Zoolander	Feb 6th, 2007 07:04:20 PM
Now, I even formatted that post right even for this fucked up site and it still came through mashed up. Anyway: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =ZP7FXFFywy4&eurl=
AICN has become weak. once was strong. by future help	Feb 6th, 2007 07:06:12 PM
aging nerd?
I liked the first Bad Boys and The Rock...... by Jimmy Jazz	Feb 6th, 2007 07:06:15 PM
but I was bored to tears with Armageddon and wanted to claw my own eyes out in Bad Boys 2. I haven't seen Pearl Harbor or THe Island. I might see this Transformers thing, though. It's robots blowing up stuff. Sounds pretty idiot proof to me. And this singer sucks balls.
Not Funny At All by prajadhipok	Feb 6th, 2007 07:25:57 PM
I'm pretty sure something harder than weed contributed to this.
Should Chuck Norris starred in a Michael Bay movie by Larry of Arabia	Feb 6th, 2007 07:26:31 PM
I have learned on AICN today that Chuck Norris is awsome. I have also learned that Michael Bay is a film God. Both are great, and one would think that a movie by them would usher in a new era of peace. However the inverse is true. Both are so good that the sheer awsome magnitude of their movie shockwaves would cause tidal waves of epic proportion, a sudden increase in birthrates that will stress the world's ecosystems, and the Police and Van Halen to reunite when... OH NO!
that is the gayest worst thing i have ever seen by kwingjr	Feb 6th, 2007 07:30:42 PM
i'm going to run directly into traffic right now.
I just got off the phone with Doc Emmet Brown by hadez	Feb 6th, 2007 07:55:11 PM
He said that he came back from the future to war us that Michael Bay IS the king of the earth by the year 2020.
Michael Bay makes terrible movies. by scrivener	Feb 6th, 2007 08:04:05 PM
If he's the film God then Uwe Boll is what? The Jews?
Hahahahahaha. by dregmobile	Feb 6th, 2007 08:08:44 PM
I just checked the story over at Latino Review. It writes: El Mayimbe, you're the man, and unlike a lot of our Internet peers, I never doubted you for a second. Now we just have to sit and wait patiently for Variety or The Hollywood Reporter to confirm. You hear that clickity-clack sound? It sounds like someones thumbs typing feverishly on their black berry!" Harry, what's your comeback? Maybe 'False!' was an acronym for Finally Abandoned Lame Starship Enterprise ...
Unicron by Sophism	Feb 6th, 2007 08:16:12 PM
The Transformers movie would be the best thing ever if it opened with this song, and Orson Welles devouring planets.
He did the video not knowing he had poo on his chin! by ballsmcretard	Feb 6th, 2007 08:25:24 PM
Ha! I want throw that guys hair cut in a garbage can...also, though not a huge transformers fan - I have no doubts that Bay will take a huge steamer on the Transformers...and there will still be a sequel--or the newly trendy trilogy. Have no fear though, each will be worst than the last.
This guy did it first, and funnier too. by NineFingaz	Feb 6th, 2007 08:27:28 PM
http://tinyurl.com/2rmv7f Yeah, I said it up there. This kid has more heart in his little finger than this other guy. Michael Bay apparently hired this guy!
The christian god got by kentrel	Feb 6th, 2007 08:37:28 PM
The christian god got Handel's Messiah and Mozart's Requiem... Michael Bay gets this out of tune comedy vacuum. What a fitting tribute!
Fuck Off! by darquelyte	Feb 6th, 2007 08:57:10 PM
How did this happen?
DAMMIT, I CAME ACROSS THIS MONTHS AGO!!! by Shermdawg	Feb 6th, 2007 08:58:42 PM
Yack will back me up on that. If that certain AICN venture of mine hadn't crashed and burned before takeoff, it would have already been posted. Oh well.
Jesus Fucking Christ, Harry! by Horseflesh	Feb 6th, 2007 09:11:29 PM
Pull a tire off your chair and hang yourself with it now. A love of Bay ruins all things good in life.
That guy sounds like he just got kicked in the nuts. by GibsonUSA Returns	Feb 6th, 2007 09:15:50 PM
And he needs to brush his teeth. WTF.
My only problem has always been with the design by GibsonUSA Returns	Feb 6th, 2007 09:27:29 PM
I admit the trailer looks cool. But flames on Optimus, Bumblebee Camaro, metal sludge Megatron.....the designs are the only thing that destroy everything else....they are really important IMO.
latino review did dis harry...awesome by hif4life	Feb 6th, 2007 09:36:44 PM
maybe i will get my scoops from now on from that website
In the land of the bad teeth, no talent idiots... by thelivingdoll	Feb 6th, 2007 09:39:01 PM
this man is king.
Blade II review, anyone? by Pennsy	Feb 6th, 2007 09:39:58 PM
As in you-can't-look-away-from-this- train-wreck-gross...
I love how out of 122 posts... by Womb2dooM	Feb 6th, 2007 09:42:50 PM
There is maybe four different comments: "Michael Bay sucks", "Harry Sucks", "That sucked", "1980's just called". This post harbours maybe two original posts on this whole bad boy rock of an armageddon island.
Sims Music Video by Orionsangels	Feb 6th, 2007 09:48:07 PM
http://tinyurl.com/29r8us
hehe, sorry guys, I think it's pretty funny... by HappyHamster	Feb 6th, 2007 09:49:56 PM
Maybe I just had a long day at work, but I laughed out loud at this guy. :)
Michael Bay by Montag666	Feb 6th, 2007 10:01:43 PM
I count the days until he suffers a massive cocaine induced seizure.
please discuss by soup74	Feb 6th, 2007 10:33:07 PM
am i, (and perhaps novaman5000) the only people who didnt think the island was that bad. i mean it's no classic, but it was better than a lot of big budget sci-fi action flicks. i didnt feel ripped off after watching it.
To all the haters... by Gozu	Feb 6th, 2007 10:43:04 PM
you're absolutely right. Michael Bay sucks ass.
ARMAGEDDON vs. DIE HARD by Vern	Feb 6th, 2007 11:03:41 PM
DIE HARD wins 1 second into round 1. I mean come on dude, Michael Bay is not even close to the best at "blowing shit up." Like somebody pointed out above, all he has to do is have someone else hire the guy who creates the explosion. Then he films it and that is where he fucks up. A "good" explosion is one that is filmed in an exciting way, edited to create momentum, in the words of the DIE HARD advertising campaign, it "blows you through the back of the theater." Michael Bay's shitty editing couldn't blow a leaf off the edge of a table. I don't get how anybody could be excited by that shit. Even in BAD BOYS 2 where he had all the cars flying off the freeway, that should've been fucking SPECTACULAR considering what he's showing and the amount of money he spent and lives he endangered and property he destroyed, and somehow he makes it ho-hum with his complete lack of rhythm and visual storytelling. Where is the explosion in any of his movies that is as thrilling as the chair bomb dropped down the elevator shaft in DIE HARD? Or the morgue blowing up in HARD BOILED? Or even Wilford Brimley riding a horse away from an explosion in HARD TARGET? Or Schwarzenegger jumping into the water in TRUE LIES (I mention that because I hate that movie, it still has a better use of explosions than Michael Bay.) Oh yeah, back to my original premise of comparing ARMAGEDDON to DIE HARD. Both have the same lead actor and both have explosions. McTiernan, not even a consistently great director, created a movie Bay could spend 7 lifetimes with the cocaine and Red Bull delivered directly to his nose by robots and he'd never come close to matching. DIE HARD has big explosions, but you can tell what's going on. You have a great, memorable character who people still care about all these years later. You have a great story. You are constantly involved in the action, rooting for him to pull it off, worried that he won't make it. It's like in IDIOCRACY when he says "Movies used to have stories and characters, so you knew WHO was farting and WHY." A good action movie is not just a bunch of explosions, otherwise those shitty AIP jungle commando movies from the '80s would be the best. You know how DIE HARD has a guy hanging from a chain getting beat to death while Bruce says he wants to cook him and eat him? That's what DIE HARD does to ARMAGEDDON. Hangs it from a chain, beats it to death and says it wants to cook it and eat it. DIE HARD is proof that there are legitimately great, iconic, moving "blow shit up" movies, and it is not necessary or helpful to our society and culture to lower the standards and pretend that all a guy needs to do is pay the money to have fire come out of a tube and that counts as making an entertaining movie. True, it's not fair to compare every movie to a classic like DIE HARD. So here is a more fair mathematical formula: until Michael Bay can make a movie 1/3 as good as DIE HARD 3, fuck this guy. I don't think he will ever meet that standard. As for this video, although I'm guessing the guy agrees with me because it sounds more like he's making fun of Michael Bay than actually praising him, coincidentally this video is not as good as the one you guys posted a while back that was about DIE HARD. That one was very intricate in describing all the details of the DIE HARD movies (even mentioning Argyle), so it was alot funnier, required more effort and seemed more clever and sincere. Like DIE HARD. the end.
That was pretty bad by LittleDudes	Feb 6th, 2007 11:21:25 PM
In the same way the holocaust was pretty bad.
Jeez, Vern by thedottedlion	Feb 7th, 2007 12:03:31 AM
No need to be a turd about it.
I second Vern's rant by S-Mart shopper	Feb 7th, 2007 12:07:17 AM
because AintItKool-Aid is the best! and I agree...
This guy has the power by BRUTICUS	Feb 7th, 2007 12:10:38 AM
to make the world's gayest video ever on youtube....
TOTAL FUCKING AWESOME DESTRUCTION!!! by Motoko Kusanagi	Feb 7th, 2007 12:37:16 AM
Enjoy the ride, 'cause nobody does summer like director Michael Bay! Yay!!
Die Hard good Christmas movie by kingoflight	Feb 7th, 2007 12:37:17 AM
who's with me ?
Congratulations. by DocPazuzu	Feb 7th, 2007 12:49:45 AM
This is what happens when you grow up on a humor diet primarily consisting of heinous American SitComs. No, not bad singers and terrible videos, but a generation of drooling Pavlovian fucktards who lack the ability to discern anything humorous if it hasn't been "taped before a live studio audience" or has a canned laugh track. Congratulations, morons, you collectively win this year's AICN Mark Twain You Fucking Moron Award for outstanding achievement.
omg, that was so fucking wrong by BendersShinyAss	Feb 7th, 2007 12:58:53 AM
This takes being a geek to a whole new level. It also reminds me of someone standing in front of the tv talking to you while you're desperately trying watch whats on. That said, Transformers is going to be fucking awesome!
WTF by Cobbio	Feb 7th, 2007 01:02:32 AM
That was... weak. Really fucking weak. Stupid, waste of time weak. I understand people making wacky videos for no apparent reason. It's fun and it gives your brain a place to go. But to throw on a 1980s (most embarassing decade in human history) outfit, hash up a 1980s styled song, write lyrics about Michael Bay, and actually waste time editing it together in a marginally seriously way is just... weak. Cringe-inducing. Blech!! I'm now quite worried about the the survival of humanity.
Damn you Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	Feb 7th, 2007 01:02:37 AM
Damn you Michael Bay
Bender by DocPazuzu	Feb 7th, 2007 01:09:33 AM
Feel free to be the first one to accept your award.
All praise the Bay - Master of bayhemic destruction! by Motoko Kusanagi	Feb 7th, 2007 01:33:25 AM
PRAISE you noobs!
It's ok Paz by BendersShinyAss	Feb 7th, 2007 01:33:41 AM
I knew it was a joke. And it missed the humour mark the same way Pearl harbour missed the dramatic story telling mark. But lets be real here, there's sinserity in this clip. & you're defence of it makes me think I've seen you in the flesh. Nice move jumping on my dick in amoungst all these other posters. I love being your flavour of the month :)
Speaking of jumping on dicks... by DocPazuzu	Feb 7th, 2007 01:59:25 AM
...shouldn't you be on zfisk's forum right about now, crying again about how you're now a victim of the Conspiracy? I can only imagine what your "documentaries" must be like.
Michael Bay has no glee by Franklin T Marmoset	Feb 7th, 2007 02:40:36 AM
And he categorically does not 'blow shit up good'. A bunch of second unit guff shot through filters and thrown into some kind of editing blender does not constitute an action scene. Not once have I ever given a damn about anything that happens in those shallow exercises of his. Bay's only remotely worthwhile contribution to cinema is the two hour monument to the unstoppable beauty of Scarlett Johansson that is known as The Island. Shit film, mind, but worth it for the hotness.
hif4life and Vern by jasper Stillwell	Feb 7th, 2007 03:11:15 AM
hif4life, yes I do I try to at least be aware of what it is I have issues with and choose to criticise. But then I like going to the cinema full stop and just enjoy the experience and whilst doing so I try to keep an open mind. I keep waiting for that Bay film where he 'comes of age' as a filmmaker and shows us he's a clever, wam-bam-white-knuckle-action-m ovie-type like the younger John McTiernan. I wait for ingenuity. I wait for character. I wait for a film that shows you how present action and machismo effectively without speaking to you like you're 6 years old or have a had a serious head injury. I am always disappointed as the IQ points drop with each successive film (The Island? Really???), Vern - I don't always agree with you dude but that was spot on. Well done.
don't look into it's deadlights by rivercb	Feb 7th, 2007 04:26:42 AM
Michael Bay, like disabled children, doesn't deserve love.
Density Rising by explodo	Feb 7th, 2007 04:43:25 AM
I can't believe the staggerig number of people that completely missed that the video is almost a frame for frame parody of Stan Bush's - The Touch from "The Transformers" (1986), including the framing, the haircut, the outfit, and the lightning-guitar-neck-bolts, all of your geek cred just went out the window. And the lyrics are posted on youtube, for the aurally challenged. The total lack of understanding of the half tongue-in-cheek/ half homage nature of the piece by nearly everyone posting here, illustrates and only emboldens many studio execs position; that unless you hammer every point home with bludgeoning obviousness, 90% of the viewing public will miss the point. Congratulations, you've just perpetuated another 20 years of the same insulting cinema you accuse Bay of creating....I hope you're proud of yourselves.
i cant understand half of the song by the_shogun_gunslinger	Feb 7th, 2007 05:34:53 AM
anf that guy looks like he has really dirty teeth....that is all
anf? ANF?!?!?!?! by the_shogun_gunslinger	Feb 7th, 2007 05:35:37 AM
DAMN YOU MARIO TYPING!!! YOU'VE FFFAAAIIIILLLLLEEEDDDDD MEEEEEEEE
one last thing... by the_shogun_gunslinger	Feb 7th, 2007 05:37:08 AM
you al know The Island was great, even if it was a complete rip-off of "PARTS:The Clonus Horror"
Tis true indeed... by Quintus_Arrius	Feb 7th, 2007 05:58:49 AM
... I am last!
HARRY GOTTA EAT by gotta eat	Feb 7th, 2007 06:22:25 AM
That's why he's pushing Bay.
I'm on the fence with Michael Bay by Halloween68	Feb 7th, 2007 06:30:03 AM
I actually couldn't stand the guy before THE ISLAND. I really like that movie a lot. It has a whole TWILIGHT ZONE / LOGAN'S RUN feel to it. Much like the movie, GATTICA. Maybe I should clarify though. I couldn't stand the man as a film director. I always thought he'd be a great music video director. He's got an eye for flair. He's an American John Woo. He can make something pedestrian look great. And there's no arguing his eye for beautiful women. The only good thing about PEARL HARBOR is Kate. Plus, who can forget his Victoria Secret tv ad. The man's just no good at plots and story and character development. And much of his dialog is too over the top and doesn't really sync with any of the characters he creates. I think THE ISLAND was the first time he ever made a film of any depth. Something beyond the glossy pictures and big explosions.
Harry, you "giggle" far too much for by Frijole	Feb 7th, 2007 06:53:36 AM
a grown... errr... OVERGROWN man. It's fucking creepy.
TOO SOON!! by Pageiv	Feb 7th, 2007 07:27:00 AM
How about some footage from Transformers?
Question Gotta Eat by Pageiv	Feb 7th, 2007 07:30:11 AM
Where did the "Gotta Eat" come from, I thought I knew but I'm thinking I forgot.
it's very simple messi by BendersShinyAss	Feb 7th, 2007 08:21:09 AM
You go to them and tell them you're making a film and you want them to look at it when it's done. then you go to your investors and tell themthe studios are interested in you. Pretty fucking sweet hey.
Doc Pazuzu by BendersShinyAss	Feb 7th, 2007 08:22:01 AM
you rock
Isn't it a little early to give out the 2007 Twainy... by Childe Roland	Feb 7th, 2007 08:33:29 AM
...Doc P? I mean, it just turned February and people have a whole ten more months to miss the points of jokes. Shouldn't we just note this as the leading contender and then round them all up in November or December like the Darwin Awards?
I just want to add this by Phategod1	Feb 7th, 2007 08:53:34 AM
is Very old and Its a shame how many of you guys don't know that Boogie Nights Song is from the Original TF:movie "You got the Touch" by Stan Bush yeas he 80 sucked. I think harry wanted a Little Transformer TB Traffic and though he could stir some up. Bad idea man, bad idea man.
michael bay rocks by Evil Hobbit	Feb 7th, 2007 09:03:37 AM
this video didn't, michael bay tribute should be edited at ultra media ventures hans zimmer klaus badelt patriotic bombast music, not a shitty no voice. Kssjt.
Good Lord that was awful... by veritasses	Feb 7th, 2007 09:19:21 AM
Pathetic might be a better description. I hope Harry posting content more appropriate for MySpace in the "latest news" section isn't a sign that AICN is lowering it's standards... esp not after having seen what this site is capable of with the Stallone TBs. I mean I know Harry can do whatever he wants with his site, but come on...
GIVE ME A BREAK! by williamD	Feb 7th, 2007 09:51:25 AM
Michael Bay is nothing but a blow job hack!
I think he had braces on, sounds like the sister... by ComputerGuy68	Feb 7th, 2007 10:00:53 AM
from South Park
Right you are, Childe... by DocPazuzu	Feb 7th, 2007 10:17:12 AM
...but I'm sort of hoping that by proclaiming a winner so early on, talkbackers will be spurred to even greater levels of slack-jawed, mouth-breathing idiocy in the months ahead.
hmm by macgruder	Feb 7th, 2007 10:17:42 AM
funny video, but he does have a point, Transformers wil be action packed, and everyone who visits this site will watch it regardless of their feelings about Bay. He does blow stuff up really well.
Harry's verbal blowjobs by UMAGA	Feb 7th, 2007 10:53:25 AM
Is there anything worse? Especially for a guy who's one of the worst fucking directors out there. Here's a shocker, Harry has already decided to give Transformers thumbs up. Surprising I know..
BringingSexyBack by Shermdawg	Feb 7th, 2007 10:55:43 AM
My comments were not intended to be a knock at this site for putting up an "old" video, it was more of a "I wish I hadn't screwed up." post.
For being a lover of great cinema ... by ye olde shiza	Feb 7th, 2007 11:31:51 AM
Herry sure does pick some crazy shit to advertise on this site. I could have done without this dude, but then again, it DID make me want to pop in the original Transformers movie just to wash this asshole's shitty cover out of my ears with the real deal. On another note, why was no Transformer ever named "Rimjob" r "Buttplug"? Who's down for making Transformers into a high budget porno?! You know you fucking want to. Any porn directors reading this post? And finally ... Michael Bay's "The Island" was a pile of shit. Whoever watches this movie and thinks it's good, also think that "The 6th Day" is a towering achievement of science fiction, as well.
we all know people with special needs wil line up for.. by hif4life	Feb 7th, 2007 11:52:51 AM
transformers, and those are what we call retards..
LOST ALL RESPECT... by apolo_sputnik	Feb 7th, 2007 11:58:10 AM
Or what little respect I had for Harry. Micheal Bay has not made one single good film. The only thing he can do, to use Harry's own words, is make things go BOOM. No characters, terrible stories, lousy direction = shit film. And that is THE ONLY THING Bay has ever made. So, bust out your knee pads and suck off Bay all you want. He is proff you do NOT need any talent whatsoever to make it in Hollywood. Transformers is going to be one of the worst films ever made. Just look at the "concept art." That should be your first clue. Read the treatment. Any one who takes a beloved icon and destroys it beyond what made it an icon to begin with is just an idiot. Anyone remember GODZILLA? Oh, how history repeats itself. And now we get this VIDEO? WTF? A real music video should be put to TREY PARKER'S "end of an act" from TEAM AMERICA, which asks the all important question: WHY DOES MICHEAL BAY GET TO KEEP ON MAKING MOVIES? Pearl Harbor sucked just a little more than I miss you. END SCENE.
What's funny? by ye olde shiza	Feb 7th, 2007 12:49:22 PM
Kurzinski, what's funny? You just ruled out Mike Myers, Trey Parker and Matt Stone, and Sacha Baron Cohen. So, who's funny? Oh wait ... lemme guess ... You like ... ummmmmm ... DATE MOVIE! Or wait, you like ... Carrot Top! Go take a walk off a pier, asshole, and leave the boards to people with nothing but acid in their veins and hatred spewing forth from their fingers. Michael Bay is an infection of pubic lice.
It’s quite obvious by coolestgirlever	Feb 7th, 2007 12:50:22 PM
that ignorance runs rampantly rabid on AICN. This tribute video is fabulous and the ignorant statements on here are equal parts hilarious and disturbing. If you can't spell embarrassed, appreciated and/or criticize, please STFU. And for the love of fuck, learn how to use contractions. Thank you. P.S. Kudos to the dude who used fucktard in a sentence. You’re my new hero – right behind the guy in this video, of course.
Yo Vern! by Spandau Belly	Feb 7th, 2007 01:31:13 PM
Why don't you compare 'The Rock' to 'Die Hard'. I realize that 'Armageddon' has the same lead actor, but other than that they aren't really the same type of action movie. 'The Rock' is actually a Michael Bay movie that copies the 'Die Hard' formula, only they make it a mismatched buddy picture by putting dorky Cage with old James Bond.
A little late, but I love this video by David Lazarus Long	Feb 7th, 2007 01:44:15 PM
and Armageddeon rocked my socks off. Cheese to the max in both cases. Glorious. I'm waiting for the wailing moans of a thousand film snobs to tell me I'm a blithering idiot so I can completely ignore them while I watch that video again.
That Harry. Crazy like a fox! by Immortal_Fish	Feb 7th, 2007 02:31:52 PM
The TF threads tend to have the highest TB counts. So any gnus is good gnus. And the longer folks are in TB, the more likely they are to click on a few ads. Click, you lemmings, click! Harry gotta eat!
Has Michael Bay ever blown up by David Lazarus Long	Feb 7th, 2007 02:50:38 PM
a gnu? Just asking.
Kurzinski = totally gay by ye olde shiza	Feb 7th, 2007 03:13:45 PM
I dunno why ... but from your post, it said: "That shit was stale and unfunny within 10 minutes of it ever being on screen." That means you think the source of the quote is unfunny, not the people quoting it. Learn to write, assclown.
Sorry Vern by Neo Zeed	Feb 7th, 2007 03:51:23 PM
I would have to say that The Rock is at least 1/3 as good as Die Hard. Explosion wise? It has a great explosion with the bomber plane that accidently dropped the bomb on Alcatraz near the end. The scene was built with tension because of Cage trying to warn off with the flare signal. There's one explosion and your 1/3.
Pop-Culture Mind Virus Memes Gotta EAT! by Doctor_Sin	Feb 7th, 2007 03:51:26 PM
I can handle people requoting South Park. You start in on quoting The Simpsons and I kick your ass. You quote from Triumph the Gay Dog, and I exterminate your family. You quote Borat or Ali G, you risk the end of humanity. God has spoken.
michael bay, worst director ever!!!!!!!!!!! by hif4life	Feb 7th, 2007 06:08:33 PM
Doctor_Sin.. bring it on!!!!!!
1.............2................3 ....................... by jegoing74	Feb 7th, 2007 06:57:46 PM
Michael Bay sucks! Your robot designs still suck. Two production designers. Your "epic" turned into a thud.
I can't get over that singers teeth..... by GibsonUSA Returns	Feb 7th, 2007 11:40:04 PM
WHAT....THE....F****??? Did his mommies dental coverage expire?? What happened? Sell the guitar and take care of those cavities asap.
He missed out the chorus where... by ScarranHalfBreed	Feb 8th, 2007 12:31:31 AM
...Bay sniff cocaine from between a prostitute's cleavage.
Michael Bay Box Office Summary by Motoko Kusanagi	Feb 8th, 2007 02:25:32 AM
(1995) BAD BOYS: budget $23m, US-gross $66m, $141m worldwide (1996) THE ROCK: budget $75m, US-gross $134m, $325m worldwide (1998) ARMAGEDDON: budget $140m, US-gross $202m, $554m worldwide (2001) PEARL HARBOR: budget $135m, US-gross $199m, $449m worldwide (2003) BAD BOYS 2: budget $130m, US-gross $138m, $273m worldwide I guess this shows nothing, except that Bay-haters can sod off. ;-)
and you forgot the island by hif4life	Feb 8th, 2007 10:50:23 AM
Motoko Kusanagi, it shows that this country is full of retards, i mean, can you also explain our current administration?
I thought this movie was gonna blow... by Darksider	Feb 8th, 2007 01:44:12 PM
And now I'm sure of it. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.
Indeed, I am last... by Quintus_Arrius	May 16th, 2007 06:41:25 AM
...again!

Talkbacks

A Music Video To Praise The One True Film God... Michael Bay!

User login

Quick Talkback

Talkbacks