I can blackberry JJ Abrams

Some news I discovered was not true

Test

This just in from our 'pointless information' desk in Washington...

My girlfriend likes nachos

I have a girlfriend

My ego gotta eat

So is JJ still on TREK? I'll assume so simply because Hollywood rumors are notoriously false for the most part and people out here love to spread shit simply for the sake of spreading shit. Seriously, to anyone who has never lived or worked here, this is one SERIOUSLY mean-spirited town with some pretty mean-spirited fucks, and any chance to tear down another person, for any reason at all, is standard operating procedure. So until I see official word of JJ's departure in VARITEY or HOLLYWOOD REPORTER, I'll assume the project is still moving forward with him attached.

On the flip side, and with no offense meant to Harry (but as a friendly, joking nudge) I find it a bit ironic and funny that Harry is so quick to post this as a "false rumor" (versus other sites who are still going with it) considering that we had to find out Harry was OFF the JOHN CARTER OF MARS project well after the fact -- mind you, a project he clearly loved and raved and raved about -- NOT at his own web site and here at AICN, but through the mainstream Hollywood press when IT announced that Paramount had let the CARTER deal lapse and Disney picked it up sans any of its creative personnel, choosing to boot everyone and simply start fresh. Which as I said I find ironic and a bit funny since -- to the best of my knowledge and I apologize profusely IF I'm wrong about this -- here at AICN we never got an actual explanation regarding "what" happened behind the scenes with JOHN CARTER and WHY Paramount ultimately chose to pass, WHAT problems they had with it, WHAT meetings took place, WHO was there, WHO said what, WHO lost faith in it and at what point...etc, etc, etc. Which seems funny to me since isn't that the whole POINT of this site? To kick open those doors and reveal those very behind the scenes things? Yet here Harry had a front row seat to the whole shebang and we heard a peep. So for fun...now that the deal is dead...I'd certainly like Harry to still put together a column about the whole CARTER development process -- what happened, who said what, and spill a few beans. Well, unless the unspoken truth here is that he doesn't want to piss off Paramount by saying "Yeah, this is what Mr Dick (insert suit's name here) said at Meeting X, and that's when we pretty much knew the project was in the shitter." Personally, being a HUGE lifelong JOHN CARTER fan...as well as a lover of Hollywood lore and backstage trivia...I'd love to hear EXACTLY why Carter died at Paramount, even if it is just Harry naming names and saying "Guy X was a total dick and then Guy Y said this, so Guy Z said he wouldn't write us any more checks."

Which brings us full circle to my initial point that people more often than not DON'T initially tell the truth and DON'T admit that they've been taken off a project while they're trying to re-shift themselves onto other things, onto new jobs -- at which point they can then put on that classic face face of saying "Ohhhh, did I forget to tell you that deal I raved and raved about was dead? (shifting eyes back and forth) Yeah, yeah, that died, but it's no big deal. No, no, I didn't really care about it anymore -- in fact now that its dead my life is better for it. Yeah, who needed THAT deal? In fact, let me tell you about the BIGGER deal I'm onto now."

Trust me, statistically speaking, that is pretty much how every other conversation goes out here in Hollywood...

...But why do this with a (new) Young Kirk? Seriously, what the fuck? I REALLY don't get this concept at all, other than Paramount being whore-meisters hoping it can milk the cow one more time. If you want to see a Young Kirk then watch the freakin' first season of TOS where Shatner WAS young. For crying out loud the whole point of the TOS is that its ABOUT Kirk's first 5-year mission. Its ABOUT Kirk being a lightning rod because its repeated over and over that he's the YOUNGEST captain EVER in Starfleet's history.So bottom line: why do I care about someone who's NOT Shatner going to the academy? Oh boy! Just what I want to see! A NON-Shat NOT kicking ass on the bridge of the Enterprise. And if Abrams IS going to put this new, young non-actor on the Enterprise, we've come fill circle to my point -- namely TOS is ABOUT showing Kirk on his first, learning voyages aboard the Enterpise.

Seriously, this project has "fucked up beyond all comprehension" stamped all over it. An as others have noted, given how much LOST and ALIAS actually lost their ways under Abrams' watch... given how unexciting I found MI:3 to be... and given how much I thought Abrams' concepts for rebooting SUPERMAN were utter crap, I really don't hold out much hope here for his "reenvisioning" the start of Kirk's career.

1. Sit down with John Milius and the ROME people. If they can inject new life into the Swords and Sandals genre, why not Trek?

2. It’ll cost a pretty penny, but the other option is to snag James Cameron before he’s too deep into AVATAR. He is the guy who wanted the Spidey franchise. Imagine what he would do with Trek.

3. If you want to go heavy on the drama and relationships, hire Clint Eastwood to direct. Let him bring his MILLION DOLLAR BABY, UNFORGIVEN thing to Trek. Another plus is Eastwood gets it done quickly. He’ll have the thing in the can one year flat.

The problem with this isn't the new blood, that's obviously a good thing. What sucks is that with all the areas of the Trek universe they could explore, they have to rehash the olden days. If it follows established canon, they'll make continuity errors. If they reboot with their own canon then fans will hate it. It's just a bad idea.

And for people doubting the wisdom of the internet geeks, the script for Trek 10 was leaked months ahead of time and all the nerds said it would tank and it did.

Would those guys in particular want to do it? Who knows. As always with any such film project, it all depends on two magic words -- "the offer."

I know the poster has the old Command/Science shirt colors with the Enterprise logo, but that could very well be either of the captains that came before Kirk on the Enterprise. Although I think if that's the case Spock and Scotty would have to be in it. I don't know that Kirk is definitely going to be in this.