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Want your Monday morning laugh? Check out this absurd and denied rumor about Peter Jackson remaking WIZARD OF OZ!

Thanks for this... by Bean_	Jan 8th, 2007 05:21:07 AM
I had to wake up at 6 for work and was in a terrible mood, this made me laugh!
if they did make it... by Drworm2002	Jan 8th, 2007 05:23:57 AM
I would want to see Jackson or Burton make it. I don't think there would be anything wrong with a really good, up to date remake of this movie. If it's done right.
We all know... by JERRY HORROR	Jan 8th, 2007 05:28:02 AM
..that Ted Turner would never let an Aussie direct an OZ remake. However does anyone remember the wrestler named OZ that was in WCW played by none other than Kevin Nash?
Obviously satirical by cooke	Jan 8th, 2007 05:29:23 AM
Was that reprinted from SomethingAwful or the Onion?
Funny. by moviemaniac-7	Jan 8th, 2007 05:36:02 AM
Especially Serkis playing everybody. How stupid can a news paper be?
We were going to use an actual dog to play Toto... by The Equalizer	Jan 8th, 2007 05:40:57 AM
Could anyone think that this was anything other than a wind-up? "We thought a CG dog would look more real!" What a crock!
Quint didnt use his spellchecker again by emeraldboy	Jan 8th, 2007 05:47:02 AM
"Is there and april fools joke".
Aaah by Kharank	Jan 8th, 2007 05:48:53 AM
Made my morning. Cheers.
Don't fuck around with Oz. by Azlam Orlandu	Jan 8th, 2007 05:59:14 AM
This shit isn't funny to me. Buncha assholes.
are you guys serious? by ephor	Jan 8th, 2007 06:00:27 AM
It's OBVIOUSLY a joke. Who the hell has heard of Sydney Sunny Press. It's just a gag article. Seriously Quint, I don't think you needed to emphasise about 6 times that it isn't true. Gees, glad you got confirmation from wingnut, I woulda been all confused...
oh and PJ is a kiwi by ephor	Jan 8th, 2007 06:04:36 AM
not an aussie... be careful the kiwis will be on here soon... and they're not gonna be happy.
PETER JACKSON GOTTA EAT!!! by Shermdawg	Jan 8th, 2007 06:17:08 AM
a. He too skinny b. He broke. Thanks New Line! ;)
WETA GOTTA EAT! by snomusic	Jan 8th, 2007 06:20:02 AM
There's lotsa employees there now ya know... Apologies to Shermdawg - couldn't resist. I'll try harder next time though.
A billion dollars? by CTU Mole	Jan 8th, 2007 06:22:21 AM
Who greenlit this, Dr. Evil? I wouldn't mind a well done version that's darker, like Return to Oz. I heard the sci-fi channel is doing it but they're incompetent.
"Don't be bitter." by Shermdawg	Jan 8th, 2007 06:24:57 AM
PJ's intro for the "exclusive" AICN Kong clip was so non-Sly it's pathetic. Maybe he was just directing that comment to a certain talkbacker.
I hate to say it... by Redbox	Jan 8th, 2007 06:25:26 AM
Funny joke, we will all be in trouble when a movie is actually given a Billion dollar budget, because it will mean that the movie industry has invented "Crack-o-vision!" But a movie or series based on the Oz books would be cool, as long as it was not a remake of the untouchable original, which is a musical song and dance film, not a real fantasy film like the books. "Return to Oz" was not terrible and the concept of doing something much more based on the books is amusing, since so much of the original content is not reflected in the original film.
Flying "monkies"? by JackPumpkinhead	Jan 8th, 2007 06:26:40 AM
Shouldn't that proof of absolute idiocy have given this hoax "page" away immediately, HMMMMMM?
ANDY SERKIS GOTTA EAT!! by v for vienetta	Jan 8th, 2007 06:27:37 AM
That cracked me up! The Toto thing made me snort green tea outta my nose.
The Shit That's Fit To Print by The Ginger Man	Jan 8th, 2007 06:27:43 AM
Except this was never printed. There is no Sydney Sunny Press. Nice.
Haha. by Gilkuliehe	Jan 8th, 2007 06:27:59 AM
"Computer graphics imagery"? Come on that's not what CGI stands for. We've all seen Movie Magic.
snomusic, it's not my catchphrase. by Shermdawg	Jan 8th, 2007 06:28:16 AM
Use it all you like.
Cool! by snomusic	Jan 8th, 2007 06:30:34 AM
SNOMUSIC'S GOTTA EAT!
Oh, you LOTR fans, check this out... by Shermdawg	Jan 8th, 2007 06:36:23 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =W0gYY8Qr0UU L-O-FUCKIN G-L
Sounds like a WETA or Wingnut in-house joke email by kingrobot	Jan 8th, 2007 06:39:07 AM
that escaped the internal mail system...I watched the remastered 1939 Wizard of Oz last week. It's still a stunning visual feast. The restoration has made it even more incredible with 5.1 sound and vivid colors. P.S. I am not a Friend of Dorothy.
SYDNEY SUNNY PRESS GOTTA EAT by Pound Sand	Jan 8th, 2007 06:50:01 AM
I believe it!
It's not a "witless lump", it's actually quite "witty" by cuckoo's indian	Jan 8th, 2007 06:57:07 AM
And I hope whoever wrote it is having a ball seeing their mock article taken completely seriously here. I'd love to see the White House release a statement denying the veracity of an article in the Onion. "Satire," my dear Quint. Check it out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S atire.
Eliminate all actors save Andy Serkis!! by DOGSOUP	Jan 8th, 2007 07:06:10 AM
C'mon one guys can play everybody! CG some boobs and POW! He's Christina Ricci. Airbrush a huge head and ZAP! He's Ron Pearlman. Edit in a vacant stare and have him act like he can't act and PING! He's Lindsey Lohan. The possibilities are endless!!!!
Deliberate, not dumb by RodneyOz	Jan 8th, 2007 07:06:51 AM
There's too much sly humour in that article for it just to be some dumbass. The Tom Hanks reference is obviously a Polar Express reference, backed up by the idea of Andy S. playing all roles. And I LOVE the supposed quote, "We were going to use an actual dog... but a CG dog would look more real". So that's my vote.
Apologies (...I think) by cuckoo's indian	Jan 8th, 2007 07:07:58 AM
Perhaps it was I who was the fool for thinking Quint the fool. Perhaps he's simply taking satire to the next level by satirically treating satire as potential truth. So, either that paper's joke went over Quint's head, or Quint's joke went over my head . I'd love to hear Quint respond.
How could you even consider it was for real? by MKiro	Jan 8th, 2007 07:08:10 AM
Apart from the sledgehammer 'wit', there is no such thing as 'Sydney Sunny Press'.
Remember when Microsoft bought the Catholic Church? by KnightShift	Jan 8th, 2007 07:46:58 AM
That was one of the most clever pranks ever pulled on the Internet. This thing about Peter Jackson and Oz is the same kind of stunt. Even if it didn't fool as many news outlets as the Microsoft/Catholic thing did, I still have to tip my hat to whoever came up with this bit of humor and had at least one newspaper bite into it.
What rubbish. lol by Kawaii	Jan 8th, 2007 08:01:12 AM
It an obvious joke.....anyone who would read that and think its realis the biggest retard ever and desevers to be killed so as not to infect the gene pool with the dna. It is funny though, i wouldnt even have bothered commenting if i worked at wingnut. lol
FUCK'S THIS? FLYING MONKEY-MANIA??? by Zarles	Jan 8th, 2007 08:05:08 AM
I look forward to having this article forwarded to me by every asshole in the Northern Hemisphere, right alongside a promise that Bill Gates will send me a check if I do...
lol by Kawaii	Jan 8th, 2007 08:05:38 AM
I like the bit where they say a cgi dog would look more real than a real dog. lolWhoever wrote it is getting alot of publicity....its now spreading across the web. Amazing how far this stuff can travel?
you all really think you're funny.. by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 08:18:46 AM
with that catchphrase shit right? well then I think that's funny, that you think you're funny, because none of this gotta eat-mania is actually funny. in fact saying it over and over in my head makes the actual word funny not so funny anymore.
Remake it now. by Kawaii	Jan 8th, 2007 08:27:51 AM
I say remake it with tim burton. Jonny depp as scarecrow....he could play it like jake sparrow. lol.
MAYBE THIS TIME WE'LL SEE DOROTHY'S TAINT by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 08:36:35 AM
$5 to the first poster to properly define TAINT. Seriously I'll paypal you the money. And if we do see it, I won't settle for a CGI version of it either...give me the real taint! now that good sir is a solid gold catch phrase!
SUN EXCLUSIVE by Fried Gold	Jan 8th, 2007 08:41:07 AM
Peter Jackson in new billion dollar deal to remake every movie ever made apart from TRON and that Roger Corman Fantastic Four film.
Trust me, plenty of people will fall for this. by Richard Cranium	Jan 8th, 2007 08:41:33 AM
You see stories about dumbasses falling for Onion stories all the time. The most famous of which being when they did a story about how Harry Potter was turning tons of little kids into Satanists, and some dumbass evangelical group grabbed it and ran with it.
okay... TAINT by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 08:42:47 AM
is the spot in between your balls and your ass, as defined in Dodgeball. I call it the Gooch, as named in the first Jackass. This all begs the question...Please cast Firecrotch for Dorothy!!!
yeah, not happening by XoanonTORN	Jan 8th, 2007 08:45:23 AM
I didn't even have to check...this is not true. Michael Regina Editor in Chief/Segment Producer http://www.TheOneRing.net http://www.KongisKing.net http://www.TheOneLion.net h ttp://www.gallifreyone.com
All your uncles are belong to Serkis by RKDN Del Sol	Jan 8th, 2007 09:15:53 AM
I'm not sure this is real. Hoity Toity Editor in Chief/Mr. Coffee http://www.windowsupdate.com http://www.allyourbase.com http://www.circusclown.com http://www.myspace.com/mewatch ummovies
No offence to the many intelligent americans... by Spikey	Jan 8th, 2007 09:16:28 AM
but this is exactly why american has a worldwide reputation for being dumb and gullable. You guys have satire over there so theres really little excuse. And investigative journalism, whats that?
hey nice of you to pop your head in xoanon by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 09:20:40 AM
wish there was something insteresting and factual worth talking about over at TORn anymore. That place kicked ass during LOTR.
Only a matter of time. by Reelheed	Jan 8th, 2007 09:25:03 AM
Snort cola through your noses now if you will but give it 5 - 10 yrs...
Ha ha by beelkay	Jan 8th, 2007 09:25:24 AM
That was pretty funny...I especially liked Jackson's "only official comment."
Come on Quint... by Ray Gamma	Jan 8th, 2007 09:33:26 AM
"This rumor is so stupidly retarded funny that..." you sound like you actually didn't realise at first that it was satire. Tell you what though, the fact that people are making jokes like this proves what I've been saying for ages - that there's a real audience backlash towards CGI now.
$5 bet=Dorothy's Taint by S-Mart shopper	Jan 8th, 2007 09:34:14 AM
The perineum, without it you'd have shitty balls instead of schweaty balls.=Dorothy's Taint should replace Gotta Eat.
$1 billion Austrailian = $781.6 million U.S. by robogeek.com	Jan 8th, 2007 09:34:19 AM
Just FYI, for your collective added amusement. ;-)
CATCHPHRASE MANIA=DOROTHY'S TAINT by S-Mart shopper	Jan 8th, 2007 09:36:31 AM

must be a joke by triplefive	Jan 8th, 2007 09:38:10 AM
must be.
oh damn what have I done? by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 09:46:55 AM
I take it back lord I take it back!
Not even a real article by performingmonkey	Jan 8th, 2007 10:05:41 AM
This is just a joke, not even some dumb journo getting it wrong. I hope Peter does see this though to give him a laugh. It must be quite a stressful time for him, watching his wife and Phillipa Boyens pen the Lovely Bones screenplay while he picks up the kids from school, constantly thinking 'fuck you, New Line' over and over and yearning to start on the Temerarararierie movies.
I CAN'T BELIEVE QUINT MISSED THE JOKE SO OBVIOUS by Proman1984	Jan 8th, 2007 10:10:19 AM
FUNNY SHIT.
To quote John Waters on the subject... by LaDracul	Jan 8th, 2007 10:17:45 AM
Don't remake the good movies, remake the BAD ones! And yes, it did sound so fake.
"Taint" originated with... by KnightShift	Jan 8th, 2007 10:21:50 AM
...Lewis Grizzard, who first wrote about it in his book "I Haven't Understood Anything Since 1962 And Other Nekkid Truths". The first mention of it, he talks about his aunt or somebody getting stung in the taint by a yellowjacket while using the outhouse.
hehehehe by Talkbacker with no name	Jan 8th, 2007 10:23:49 AM
brilliant! as if a worker at weta would slag off kong as nothing more than a demo reel! Watch though. The UK tablods will pick this story up. the Sun no doubt.
SUN EXCLUSIVE by Fried Gold	Jan 8th, 2007 10:27:30 AM
WE ALREADY DID BREAK THIS STORY (see ~25 posts above) BUT IN A MORE SHOCKING STYLE.
Earth to Matilda by Wave Motion Gun	Jan 8th, 2007 10:32:43 AM
Wingnut aint laughing at the article, they're laughing at whoever phones up and asks if it's true.
I liked the Ents in the original Oz by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 10:34:49 AM
and Peter will surely do them justice.
I heard by kikuchiyoboy	Jan 8th, 2007 10:42:21 AM
James Cameron's next film is "Macross" to be completed by 2074. The reason for the delay are due to problems with his digital clone. This digital clone is designed specifically to complete filming his next two projects. Due to his inability to stop deteriation from natural causes, he had to take this precaution. But his digital clone isn't properly water proofed nor has it yet beat "Deep Blue's" high score on Pac Man. Although photorealistic, it's dummer than a bag of hammers.
If you can't spot that this is intentionally fake... by Sledge Hammer	Jan 8th, 2007 11:01:45 AM
...and very obviously taking the piss then there's frankly something wrong with you. Everything from the utter absurdity of the lenghs the story itself went to through to the repition of the clearly fake grain background, and all points in between scream "this is clearly a joke y'all!". The fact that you had to check on the validity of this is just hilarious...score one to the piss-takers.
FUCK'S THIS? DOROTHY'S TAINT MANIA? by ArtemisClydefrog	Jan 8th, 2007 11:15:49 AM
Scandal!
Did that article come from... by rbatty024	Jan 8th, 2007 11:24:05 AM
The Onion? Because it sounds like the writer is in on the joke, even if Harry isn't. At the risk of sounding like a broken record, I do hope they make a later Oz book into a movie. If the Hollywood suits had any brains they'd be searching for a screenwriter and director right now.
AND THE $5 TAINT GOES TO... by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 11:33:26 AM
WHITE OWL! SCORE! In actual fact, I was hoping for a more female-oriented definition but a win's a win. Send your paypal address to infitior@gmail.com and I'll send the money over. For posterity and accuracy, I'll also give $5 to KnightShift; such historically-accurate info can't go unrewarded. S Mart Shopper, I love ya-$5 for killing "gotta eat" and turning TAINT into the new "nipples on...", "flames on..." and "too soon!". Finally, a catch-phrase I can identify with! And lastly, ArtemisClydefrog, $5 for being the first to use the new hotness on AICN. You wanna know what's cool news? Taint is the new tits, as in the verb tense fellas. Remember: email infitior@gmail.com with the paypal info. AND $5 TO THE FIRST PERSON WHO CAN TELL ME HOW TO INSERT SPACES IN MY POSTS!
April fools comes early... by Judge Dredds Dirty Undies	Jan 8th, 2007 11:56:59 AM
This has to have been a joke.
Oy vey! by Slavestate	Jan 8th, 2007 12:04:05 PM
Not only is this absurd, but Serkis doing all the motion? Well, as one that actually does work with Motion Capture, Serkis would need a pelvis transplant before being able to do motion as Dorothy. Women have a distinct walk that men, unless you're really good, just can't mimick. It really shows through when you see it in data form. Interesting shit.
Quint has a beer and cheets on Dorothy's taint by Doctor_Sin	Jan 8th, 2007 12:06:16 PM
And when that shit gets put there, it all comes down to the tightness.
If it was printed in some by Qokie37	Jan 8th, 2007 12:12:00 PM
If it was printed in some paper it must have been some tabloid rag, an Aussie version national inquirer. I can't find any legit paper in Australia that comes close: CITY: Daily Telegraph Financial Review Irish Echo Sunday Telegraph Sun Herald Sydney Morning Herald The Australian SUBURBAN: Bankstown Express Blacktown Advocate Courier Newspapers Fairfax Community Newspapers Fairfield Advance Glebe & Inner West Weekly Hills Shire Times Hornsby Advocate Liverpool Leader Macarthur Advertiser Chronicle Manly Daily Mosman Daily Mt Druitt Standard North Shore Times Northern District Times Parramatta Advertiser Penrith Press I didn't know that Australia had a big enough Irish population to warrant an Irish News Paper, cool.
"My cock now travels in with reckless abandon" by Doctor_Sin	Jan 8th, 2007 12:18:07 PM
Ok, that is real text from a spam email I just got. Divine providence sends it to this TB.
for us old school types by mrbong	Jan 8th, 2007 12:20:25 PM
wouldn't "100% CGI" usually translate as being "animated"?? heck, a Peter Jackson film with no annoying Jack Black in it? i would pay to see it many times just to prove a point.
well of course if they don't dream cast Dorothy's Taint by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 12:23:42 PM
that'll b WMDs coming from the firecrotch of doom
Fake by wato	Jan 8th, 2007 12:31:47 PM
That doesn't even look like news paper print. That looks like a word doc that's had some photoshoping done to make it kinda look like a news paper. Has anyone asked Dan Rather for comment?
one pair of ruby slippers to rule them all by bennie garcia	Jan 8th, 2007 12:56:22 PM
you'd gotta love it
But I can actually imagine this... by JackPumpkinhead	Jan 8th, 2007 01:01:06 PM
"Peter Jackson Presents a Peter Jackson Production of a Peter Jackson Picture: PETER JACKSON'S OZ! Created, written, produced and directed by Peter Jackson. Story by Peter Jackson and His Two Women. Based on characters created by Peter Jackson. Inspired by the works of Peter Jackson (and l. frank baum.) Special effects by WETA, based on characters designed by Peter Jackson. Buy the Extended Ultimate Collector's Edition Box Set, with over 6 hours of footage missing from the theatrical version, and the Limited Edition Web Production Diaries, featuring interviews with Peter Jackson and interviews about Peter Jackson. A Peter Jackson (TM) Release."
JackPumpkinhead For The Win by Doctor_Sin	Jan 8th, 2007 01:06:39 PM
Don't forget the exclusively "delicious" AICN-PJ interview.
My God by Ray Gamma	Jan 8th, 2007 01:16:06 PM
I'm amazed at how many people on here still sound 0.0001% unsure about whether it was a joke or not. DIdn't the bit about the "cgi dog" looking "more real" make you laugh out loud? Do Americans get a satire innoculation at school or something?
Speaking of Bruce Campbell... by iamnicksaicnsn	Jan 8th, 2007 02:03:46 PM
he had a pretty dang funny ad during the play-offs yesterday for a deoderant company, and I'm not going to say what the product is because they don't really need a plug, even though they did use Bruce Campbell in an ad, but at the same time, the ad has seemingly so little to do with the product, what's the point?
Those crazy Aussies and they're fake news by Mike_D	Jan 8th, 2007 02:17:34 PM
haha, nice. I remember they ran a story where they had it "confirmed" that aussie actor lachy hulme was signed to play the joker in the next batman flick.
Deus Vult... by Sledge Hammer	Jan 8th, 2007 02:32:00 PM
Just use paragraph breaks (as in: < p > only without the spaces between the brackets), remember, HTML is your friend. Oh, and I don't want your money, just bow down to my greatness and we'll call it even. And at least I didn't go with the literal answer and tell you to use the space bar to insert spaces into your posts...
The sequel can be Spiderman VS Dorothy's Taint by white owl	Jan 8th, 2007 02:33:10 PM
and base it off the putrid odor on manhattan
Dorothy's Taint is the Sexiest Tomboy Beanpole by monorail77	Jan 8th, 2007 02:34:46 PM
Dorothy's Taint is the Sexiest Tomboy Beanpole on the Planet! Just for you old-school regulars ;) I love that "Dorothy's Taint" or just "taint" is the new AICN catchphrase. I can hardly wait until its overused and I'm sick to death of it. Should only take, what, a day or two?
This Is... by TheRealMoriarty	Jan 8th, 2007 02:36:55 PM
... the best fake article ever. I would love to see the movie this article describes. It would be totally fucking looney, but I'd love to see it just to see how crazy it is.
FINALLY! After all these years of reading this site... by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 02:49:42 PM
I'VE ARRIVED! and to think it's the word TAINT that got me here. clearly we're all a bunch of mature gentlemen reading this site indeed. oh and to Sledge Hammer-I've literally been baffled by spacing since I first arrived here in 2001. I suppose this throws my credibility into question as to being able to create a new catch phrase then? If so, taint easy to come up with a new one. BANG BANG!
forgot a big thank you and a $5 spot by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 02:53:41 PM
to my man Sledge. 'ppreciate ya bruh.
WHERE'S MY GLORY? HAIL TO ME DAMNIT!! by Sledge Hammer	Jan 8th, 2007 02:54:31 PM
...or not, whatever. 'taint too worried either way.
Damn... by Sledge Hammer	Jan 8th, 2007 02:58:16 PM
...outplayed again. And I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn't for those damned slowtypin' fingers of mine! You win this time, THIS TIME...
Wow, I haven't seen satire this funny by JAGUART	Jan 8th, 2007 03:08:43 PM
Since they announced that Will Smith was starring in "I Am Legend", or Matt Damon was Capt Kirk in a Trek reboot.
Thanks Sledge Hammer by Ray Gamma	Jan 8th, 2007 03:36:16 PM
Thanks to you I can now insert meaningful, wry pauses into my posts. Taint.
Will they read "Hearts of Darkness" in Munchkin land? by crackerfarmboy	Jan 8th, 2007 03:47:40 PM
"You have to get an education Scarecrow!" Think of all the crazy monster scenes they can throw in here: flying monkeys with oozing sores and blood stained teeth. The munchkins can be bizarre bloodthirsty zombie like creatures. It can also be about 4 hours long. Come on Peter make it happen!
I gotta eat Dorothy's taint... by Zino	Jan 8th, 2007 04:44:01 PM
...ankles behind the ears and away we go
Indeed... by Quintus_Arrius	Jan 8th, 2007 05:08:30 PM
... this is very amusing! Hail Arrius!
Some WETA renegades need to make a porno Oz film by Doctor_Sin	Jan 8th, 2007 05:13:58 PM
With A-class CGI. Giant labias engulfing the cowardly lion! Make it so.
Ray Gamma hits out and a new $10 offer by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 05:23:46 PM
Ray-nice work with the spacing and using the hottest new catch phrase since "lucas ___ my childhood." Yes, I know the popular "raped" typically appeared in the ___ but by the time I got to this site the catch phrase had degenerated into all kinds of variances. Now--$10 via paypal to the first poster to email me a picture of Gong Li's taint-the only thing worth seeing from "curse of the golden flower." In actual fact, outside of some of the vietnamese strippers here in houston Gong Li's got some of the hottest asian cleavage I've EVER seen, without question the hottest cleavage on this site's history--finally an aicn ad worth looking at!
A series of OZ films would be great....without music. by Monkey_King	Jan 8th, 2007 05:29:19 PM
Someone with Balls in Hollywood that doesn't fall into the retarded-as-all-Hell trap of remaking nearly scene for scene, films that could've been way better, should Greenlight or pitch this now, Now, NOW!!!! Jackson, Henson or Lucas' involvement would be a major plus.
Deus Vult says the magic words by Doctor_Sin	Jan 8th, 2007 05:30:54 PM
"Vietnamese strippers" - I'm hitting the road.
Bruce Campbell should be The Wizard... by Fat Chooch	Jan 8th, 2007 05:44:19 PM
"Ignore the man behind the curtain, baby!"
This is for Deus by S-Mart shopper	Jan 8th, 2007 05:44:36 PM
George Lucas spawned my manhood with a picture of Linda Ronstadt's perineum, I was forever Tainted:)
i'm excited! by DarthDooku	Jan 8th, 2007 06:22:05 PM
When's it coming out? lol.
$5 for almost everybody and wives just don't understand by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 06:36:35 PM
S mart shopper-that's twice you've hit it out of the park today, this time using taint as a verb (see boys, its versatile!) Lebron23-another true believer, but here its taint as a noun (more proof of versatility!) Doctor_Sin-look man, I know the "media" would have you believe NYC, LA and Vegas the three hottest stripper towns but until you've come down to the "stripper triangle" or houston, dallas & new orleans you just don't know what you're missin'! I'm talkin' 'bout more than just vietnamese pal, it's korean, chinese, black, white, hispanic, and a whole lot more. best of all--I've even seen a few taints out there. Zino: it takes posters like you to spread the word so perhaps its time to reveal Deus Vult's secret: the name means GOD WILLS IT in French and was the charge the pope gave the Franks to heed the first crusade. Hence, I proclaim to all-GOD WILLS IT-go to other AICN stories, topics, sections, even email the webmaster-"...gotta eat" is dead! anything with "taint" in any form is God's command! monorail7--hey now, we've only just begun! be positive! in a few days/weeks/months, someone from AICN's austin staff will bike to houston and murder me for the taint thing at this rate. Finally, while I was reading everyone's posts, my wife was making dinner and heard me laughing. She asked what was funny, and when I tried to explain it to her, and by so doing read a few posts, she said "hey, I love Linda Ronstadt!"
I'd also like to point out... by KCMOSHer	Jan 8th, 2007 07:24:21 PM
...that Dorothy's Taint would be an excellent name for a rock band.
uh....it was a joke by Freakemovie	Jan 8th, 2007 08:58:46 PM
the article was a joke that was never meant to be taken seriously, or as a rumor. it was a joke.
I can see how the Oscars will go from here on out by Your Own Personal Pillowpants	Jan 8th, 2007 09:39:42 PM
Best Actor 2007: Andy Serkis..Everybody (The Wizard of Oz) Best Actor 2008: Andy Serkis..John Johnson (The Last Man on Earth) Best Actor 2009: Andy Serkis..The Lone Ranger (A Man with No One to Talk to) Best Actor 2010: Andy Serkis..The voice of Godzilla (God2010zilla) Best Actor Twenty Years from Now: Andy Serkis Jr..In a CG created role as Andy Serkis Sr. (The Life and Times of Andy Serkis)
too tired to keep goin' boys, save yourselves by Deus Vult	Jan 8th, 2007 10:19:30 PM
must...post...more...taint...*
IT'S TRUE!!!!! by ironburl	Jan 8th, 2007 11:25:52 PM
Sly Stallone told me that Richard Gere's gerbil was on a conference call with PJ!
BSB, just don't pull a LMTO! That could be messy. by S-Mart shopper	Jan 8th, 2007 11:41:17 PM

"the taint's about to blow!" PURE FUCKING GOLD by S-Mart shopper	Jan 8th, 2007 11:54:03 PM

When does it come out? by wackybantha	Jan 9th, 2007 02:16:35 AM
Seriously.
Back on topic: by Ray Gamma	Jan 9th, 2007 04:29:35 AM
Updating and re-making "The Wizard Of Oz" with CGI would be a bit like re-painting the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel with magic marker pens.
Joel Schumacher directs! by ye olde shiza	Jan 9th, 2007 04:57:21 AM
I think he'd be the perfect candidate to repaint the Sistine Chapel in magic markers ... and to direct a billion dollar remake of the Wizard of Oz, starring Queen Latifah as the Eastern Witch, Cedric the Entertainer as the Cowardly Lion, Michael Douglas as the Tin Man's Balls, and Johnny Knoxville in drag as Dorothy. Now, that's a fuckin' movie! Game on.
yackbacker--most prolific taint ever by Deus Vult	Jan 9th, 2007 07:50:51 AM
without question you've done a fabulous job here my friend, and in the wee hours of the morning no less. we should send you to aid the ethiopian troops in their fight against the bad guys in somalia. headline: yackbacker fires 3000 taints per minute from his ac130 gunship at targets throughout mogadishu. the taint started way up above, right here, in this completely false story, and by me no less, in offering $5 to the first person to define taint, as in seeing dorothy's taint, and not a CGI taint my friend.
TOO SOON!!! by Pageiv	Jan 9th, 2007 11:19:20 AM
Damn Hollywood!
Deus by Doctor_Sin	Jan 9th, 2007 11:37:35 AM
I live in Austin where the strip clubs suck. Dallas is much better...but I've heard tales of H-town's glories. I must begin my mythic quest.
Yackbacker!!! by monorail77	Jan 9th, 2007 12:03:14 PM
Pure genius. That stuff is taint, man. Well played!
Doc Sin-- by Deus Vult	Jan 9th, 2007 06:42:03 PM
not sure if anything is still reading this story here, but if so I've been to a few places in austin and they were WEAK at best. combo of the hot girls hooking for the legislature in secret is bigger money and UT boys, while traditionally the kids of wealthy texans, would rather spend their money on ecstasy for their girlfriends than strippers. with that being said, houston has some of the HOTTEST strippers anywhere, as does new orleans. in fact, I still have semi-wet dreams about one of the girls who gave me a lapdance at rick's on bourbon. she had pigtails...oh so dirty. my friends and I still refer to has PING! for one very amazing reason.
forgot monorail77 by Deus Vult	Jan 9th, 2007 06:43:39 PM
loved the way you used taint as a verb. or is it an adverb? any teachers in the room? my wife teaches 4th grade math & science so she's no help here. however, her class just started learning about measurement and lemme tell ya I had an unpleasant and humiliating experience with a ruler this morning...
I'd pay to see a direct Jackson translation of "Wicked" by ZeroCorpse	Jan 9th, 2007 08:00:57 PM
Seriously, a theatrical version of "Wicked" - NOT the musical, but a direct from the book translation with no musical numbers- would rock. Make it so!

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