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Massawyrm Says ERAGON Is One Of The Greatest Stories Ever Written!!

Best.graphic.ever. by Doctor_Sin	Dec 14th, 2006 11:50:10 AM
Massawyrm speaks! So far, this film is stinking up AICN. I suggest a courtesy flush.
yeah.... by Datascream	Dec 14th, 2006 11:54:39 AM
I saw this coming.
enough said by miyokoboom	Dec 14th, 2006 11:54:52 AM
agreed!
btw Massawyrm by miyokoboom	Dec 14th, 2006 11:55:33 AM
merry christmas....love all your reviews. thanks for helping me to save money! ^^
thats a funny picture... by Seph_J	Dec 14th, 2006 11:57:34 AM
... truly a work of art. And did anyone else think Jeremy Irons was the best thing in 'Kingdom of Heaven'? I did.
Who cares what Massawyrm says... by Freefinger	Dec 14th, 2006 12:00:28 PM
Good or bad... This is the guy who went all out against a movie called "Happy Feet" and said it was a Bible understudy of the lord's savior vs the Scientologist and goes one about the religion found in the freaking thing... It just wasn't a movie about penguins dancing, and this movie will surely be good for ... well... for... anyone who likes bad directing and scripts, or anyone called Massawyrm ... Now he just found a new enemy, a tweleve year old boy... Mouahahaha... Didn't even read the post by Massawyrm, just know it's dumbass as his previous ones...
Furry? by PwnedByStallone	Dec 14th, 2006 12:02:33 PM
What the fuck? I'm still seeing this because I read the book but the star wars comparison is spot on. even funnier is that the next book, Eldest, is Empire to a tee as well. Doesn't make it any less fun for me. One last thing Wyrm. Is it communist, atheist, or both?
That graphic is rather awesome. by -guyinthebackrow	Dec 14th, 2006 12:02:42 PM
Fun review too.
So by QuinnTheEskimo	Dec 14th, 2006 12:06:52 PM
It's like if Star Wars really sucked. Or, in other words, Ep's 1-3. Zing!
the incredible irony that happened... by torpor_haze	Dec 14th, 2006 12:07:22 PM
was that the kid that plays Eragon was showing clips during commercials during Smallville last week and at one point he said.."If you like Smallville, then you'll like Eragon." Shermdawg its up to you man.
Episode III was great. by Seph_J	Dec 14th, 2006 12:08:43 PM
Watch it again... you'll see.
Seph_J by QuinnTheEskimo	Dec 14th, 2006 12:13:37 PM
I have watched it. It has great moments. And in between those great moments is the same awful writing and acting that made the other prequels so bad. I enjoy it, there's things I like about it, and it's easily the best of the prequels. It still just isn't very good. Who gives a shit about Eragon?
Trogdooooooooooooooooor! by Sakla	Dec 14th, 2006 12:17:14 PM
BURNIN' UP THE NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!!!!!!!! !!!
I didn't know how good a story A New Hope was by eraser_x	Dec 14th, 2006 12:18:30 PM
until I told it to my 2.5 year old kid. He's been asking for it as his final "lights out" bedtime story for weeks and weeks. No other story, not Super Man, not The Empire Strikes Back, not any of Aesop's Fables or his other kids' stories can hold his interest like Star Wars. The previous most-interesting stories were Jungle Book and The Three Pigs, but those didn't last as many weeks.
Young Orphan... by Boba Fat	Dec 14th, 2006 12:23:01 PM
unaware of his powers, has to learn how to use them to fight evil. Isn't that Harry Potter?Lot's of film-makers / story tellers have taken their cues from Joseph Campbell's heroes journey, including George Lucas. Nothing wrong with a good blueprint and I admit that there's little doubt Eragon is going to stink up cinemas worldwide like someone took a dump in the back row. But, is anyone else tired of Massawrym banging on about the subtext of films like he's the only person smart enough to spot it?
When has hiring a former SFX guy ever worked? by Batutta	Dec 14th, 2006 12:30:20 PM
You're better off hiring somebody who knows absolutely nothing about SFX, but has years of experience with stuff like, say, telling a story and working with actors, and let the SFX guy do the SFX! Exhibit A -- Irvin Kershner.
I'm so glad you chose that pic for your sig, Massawyrm by Jedi2dope	Dec 14th, 2006 12:31:15 PM
Definitely was the best out of a lot of great entries. Harry tauntaun makes me chuckle everytime I see it.
Is that avatar for keeps? by theBigE	Dec 14th, 2006 12:44:28 PM
Or are you still rotating pictures - because that's the one I voted for! I love the open-mindedness of the pinheads that come on here to complain. "I haven't read the review, but I know it sucks because there was a review one time you wrote that sucked bad." Massa identifies himself with some unpopular factions in our society and the hate just spews forth from "open-minded" folks. Decent review - after all I've read this week I'm definitely skipping this one.
So, did Don Murphy produce this? by Badger999	Dec 14th, 2006 12:44:39 PM
Sounds like his sort of thing.
I hate the lead kid in this movie by Orionsangels	Dec 14th, 2006 01:02:31 PM
He looks like a reject from Dawson's Creek. That's just one of the problems when they make a film like this. Let's cast pretty people. No realism is involved
Don't fuck with Krull by Fawst	Dec 14th, 2006 01:05:59 PM
Jeez, now there's a film that could stand to be remade. Enough of the horror remakes, let's remake Colwyn's not-so-epic journey to get the Glaive, beat the Beast and get the Girl. I fucking love that movie.
AAAAAAAAT SUNRIIIIIIIIISE! by Fawst	Dec 14th, 2006 01:10:56 PM
The Black Fortress will appear... in the Iron Desert. Fire mares! Here is the knowledge which you seek! I am Ergo, the Magnificent! Very fat, very ugly! God I LOVE that movie...
good review, great avatar by triplefive	Dec 14th, 2006 01:42:02 PM

It was written by a 15 year old. by Omegaman	Dec 14th, 2006 01:58:52 PM
So what do you expect. He probably doesnt even know what plagiarism means.
This generations Pete's Dragon by Reelheed	Dec 14th, 2006 02:04:26 PM
muppets.
The book is actually pretty damn good... by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 02:12:15 PM
I am very much enjoying it as we speak. I always wanted to read it, but seeing an interview with the author (what a pompous, conceited, egomaniac... and various other redundant terms that mean that same thing) I changed my mind. I mean I hate the damn kid. He thinks hes Gods gift to authors. And then the trailer a few months ago... oh man the trailer SUCKED. But alas about a month ago I was needed a book, and coudlnt think of one so searched around B&N. Saw Eragon, remembered that I did once a long long time ago want to read it... so I decided to pick it up. And I honestly love it so far, about 300+ pages into the book. The new commercials actually started to look really good to me too, probably spurned on by how I like the book. But now hearing all the reviews being so bad... and that they change alot from the book... I dunno. I was going to try to convince someone to see it with me on my birthday, the added guilt of it being my birthday and I should be able to do what I want helping out, but now I dunno. I think im better off just enjoying the book, finishing it total before seeing the movie (in case the movie is as crappy as everyone says and starts spoiling the book because of it)... and then waiting for a DVD release. As far as him being 15 when he wrote the book... uh... who cares. Yea its young, but he isn't 6 years old. He was a damn teenager. Their are people who get into Law & Medical School at that age, and I am sorry but that seems way more impressive considering that in turn that means they got into Harvard when they were like 12. So that whole 15 year old author thing is such a big "uh, who cares, kids do amazing things like that all the time, more amazing in fact, at a much younger age too" Hell back in the day 15 year olds all were married with kids. Mary was 12 when she had Jesus. The kid shouldnt really get any more praise or insults then a 25 or 35 year old author. As for it ripping off star wars, yea I guess it does.... but everything rips of everything. And at least in the book its not that bad, hell I didnt even notice it until reading the reviews and talkbacks. I mean the damn Chronicles of Narnia is like stories from the bible.
Eragon II: Aragorn's halfling love-child by Amy Chasing	Dec 14th, 2006 02:14:46 PM
If Dungeons and Dragons can get a sequel made, anything can happen (even if it is straight to vid)
ATTN: YouIgnorantGeeks by PervOmatic	Dec 14th, 2006 02:30:07 PM
If you enjoy the book, then you have shitty taste. That is all.
PervOmatic by Amy Chasing	Dec 14th, 2006 02:35:07 PM
same could be said to anyone who thinks The Da Vinci Code is well written. :)
PervOmatiC by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 02:40:37 PM
Thank you for living up to my name. I think the book is very enjoyable. One of the best books ever? No, not even close. But a bad book? Not at all. Its an ejoyable read. Thats my opinion. Go look up that word. I love being told I have shitty taste from the people who hold Evil Dead and Bruce Campbell as gods. Liking one book you don't doesnt mean I have shitty taste. And based on how it sold, I think alot of people share my opinion of it
DaVinci Code was great! by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 02:41:43 PM
Angels & Demons though... yea that was crap.
YouIgnorantGeeks by Kizeesh	Dec 14th, 2006 02:47:08 PM
"And based on how it sold, I think alot of people share my opinion of it" ... A lot of people voted for Bush too. Personally I thought it was a mildly entertaining read, if utter and complete rubbish with no more depth or merit than the average episode of Charmed.
And alot of people still think Bush is the right person by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 02:49:57 PM
Do I agree with them? Hell no... but its their right to think that. Doesnt make them stupid or wrong about every single politician they support, just because you think one of the ones they support sucks.
sorry YouIgnorantGeeks by Amy Chasing	Dec 14th, 2006 02:56:48 PM
but having just finished reading a bunch of Neil Gaiman short stories, you really see how badly Da Vinci Code is written. The way he describes things, not by creating an imaginative and interesting description, but rather by simply naming what they are - or, more to the point, just saying what brand-name they are - sorry, but that's just poor storytelling. As for using cliches as a method to illustrate the world the characters are in.. "waiters carrying bags of garbage to the curb, a pair of late night lovers cuddling to stay warm" - give me a break. The Da Vinci Code is one of the most inelegant books I've read. And that's a pity, because I've met some people who think good books are popular books.
Dungeons & Dragons Sequel: AWESOME by Daddylonghead	Dec 14th, 2006 02:58:13 PM
don't care about Eragon, but wanted to take this opportunity to say that the 2nd D&D movie is fucking incredible for anyone who ever played D&D when younger... no joke, a must-rent, a total pleasure.
Why does that make the book bad? by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 03:05:28 PM
"The way he describes things, not by creating an imaginative and interesting description, but rather by simply naming what they are - or, more to the point, just saying what brand-name they are - sorry, but that's just poor storytelling." Um... why is that? Thats how he writes... that doesnt make a book bad or good. Neither does using Cliches... I don't think all good books are popular or all popular books are good.... but I do think good books can come in all types of writing styles. I mean honsetly no offense but to me what you said was kinda pompous. It was inelegant? Are you kidding me? I don't judge books by if they are elegant or not. I judge it by if I enjoy the story. Maybe I enjoyed DaVinci Codes story so much I was able to ignore its drawbacks. Maybe thats why I thought the writing in Angels & Demons was horrible, because I wasnt' as drawn into the story... but I disagree on what you seem to think makes a book good or bad. But again, its just difference of opinions is all.
Daddlonghead by Nodwick	Dec 14th, 2006 03:06:19 PM
I think the writer for D&D 2 just wanted to beam a vulcan chick into a wall.
Amy lays the smack down by Amy Chasing	Dec 14th, 2006 03:08:59 PM
no - difference of opinion is one thing. Ignoring reality, that's something else. ;)
Ignoring reality is thinking.... by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 03:15:34 PM
that what you think is more correct then when I do, and its not. I fail to see how enjoying Eragon or DaVinci Code makes me less intelligent or have bad taste. I also love Harry Potter, the Anne Rice books, Steven King, etc. Those are also popular so therefore they are bas as well apparently.
I mean "bad as well" by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 03:18:22 PM
Before someone says a typo means I have a first grade education.
Eragon sucks like an Anteater and blows... by KillaKane	Dec 14th, 2006 03:22:36 PM
...like a bad taco! Lay this Fox shill-swill to rest and devote AICN copy on something more worthwhile.
This is great! by skycrapper	Dec 14th, 2006 03:26:55 PM
It seems like we're going back to the days of good 'ol 80's fantasy like "The Sword and the Sorcerer" with kick ass triple blade swords that shoot people in the chest. Kick ass!
YIG & KillaKane by Amy Chasing	Dec 14th, 2006 03:31:44 PM
you said it
YouIgnorantGeeks Likes Anne Rice!!! by PervOmatic	Dec 14th, 2006 03:44:19 PM
Well, that is the final nail in your coffin right there. If you think that wretched dreck is worth reading, then you deserve to be reading books for children like Paolini has written. I'm sorry, let me amend that: books for stupid children.
PervOmatic by Fawst	Dec 14th, 2006 03:52:16 PM
You can stop with the pathetic attempt at cutting down someone's taste in literature now, it's really not that funny, nor is any of what you say true. And really, what kind of name is PervOmatic? It makes me think that you're not only a perv, but you're a lazy one. Omatic? As in autOmatic?? As in, done for you so you don't have to do the work!? ... I knew I should have been a detective.
Perv... by YouIgnorantGeeks	Dec 14th, 2006 03:52:34 PM
Just because you can't concentrate when Anne Rice describes a house for 3 pages doesnt mean I am stupid. It means your the stupid teenybopper who probably can't read at all and so insults other peoples books of choice.
I'm actually considering watching this now by wash	Dec 14th, 2006 03:59:16 PM
Sounds like it's MST3K riff worthy...
DamnYouMichaelBay by vivavitalogy	Dec 14th, 2006 04:20:05 PM
You Sir, are an ignorant fool.
I read! by QuinnTheEskimo	Dec 14th, 2006 04:23:43 PM
I read a lot of books. The Bible is occassionally one of them. Eragon is not. My favorite, in case anyone is curious, is Catch-22. The movie version kind of sucked, but I have this idea that it could be done as an HBO mini-series. It's like if Band of Brothers was a comedy! Talk about off-topic!
congrats massawyrm, you finally got one right by TheBaxter	Dec 14th, 2006 04:24:25 PM
you blew it on 'ant farm' and really screwed the pooch on 'happy feet' but it sounds like you finally managed to nail one of your convoluted analogy-reviews to a movie where it actually applies.
Someone insult me! by QuinnTheEskimo	Dec 14th, 2006 04:24:56 PM
I'm feeling left out.
Ummm....yeah..... by BillyPilgrim	Dec 14th, 2006 04:28:07 PM
Its one thing to take a story hook like 'orphan grows up to be hero'. But to take a movie or story scene by scene is a little much. I want to know if this is a "so bad its good" movie. Also, the existence of the Sci-Fi Channel guarantees sequels to all sci-fi/fantasy movies.
I'm with you YouIgnorantGeek by dtpena	Dec 14th, 2006 04:32:00 PM
though you love anne rice, and I didn't enjoy Eragon, but that talk about how a book must "describe things instead of naming them" is just ignorance. The da vinci code is a book made to be rad between underground stops, so you can't start reading about how beautifully the sun rose that chilly morning, you just have to know that it's dawn, and that doesn't make it bad writing, it's just different, not half as defying, but not bad.
re: Quinn the Eskimo by Kizeesh	Dec 14th, 2006 04:34:24 PM
Sorry would havce but I heard that you could "Come on Without.." thankyouillbehereallweektrythe veal..
Anyone remember Hawk the Slayer or the Sword and .... by kinghenryVIII	Dec 14th, 2006 04:35:35 PM
Does anyone remember the fantasy movie "Hawk the Slayer" .... for some reason Journey comes to mind (did they do the sound track or did the lead just look like Steve Perry?). 80's fanatsy. Hawk the Slayer and The Sword and the Sorceror with sword that shot extra blades .... good shit Great 80's fantasy from pre mature HBO / cable days. Those will always rule to fantasy flicks. And the graphic up there rules!
The Mighty Quinn Was A Very Mediocre Movie by PervOmatic	Dec 14th, 2006 04:38:15 PM
But Quinn the Eskimo is a great Dylan song. Sorry, but I can't come up with anything worse than that for you.
YouIgnorantGeeks - straw manning by Kizeesh	Dec 14th, 2006 04:42:51 PM
No-one is saying that your choice in books makes you an idiot (or at least I never said that) The point I was making is that Eragon, and HP,Anne Rice, Da-Vinci code et al are not good literature. They are enjoyable reads, some better than others but in no way could they ever be considered great writing in any sense. For that look to modern authors like GRRM or Susanna Clarke and the like.
Eragon at 13% on RT by PervOmatic	Dec 14th, 2006 04:45:35 PM
And I AM saying that if you claim that those books are "Literature" then, yes, you are an idiot. Tolkien's LOTR is literature. Bram Stoker's Dracula is literature. Umberto Eco's Foucault's Pendulum is literature. Peloni, Rice, and Brown are popular purveyers of garbage that should be left on the airplane where you found it.
PervOmatic by QuinnTheEskimo	Dec 14th, 2006 04:46:02 PM
I've never seen the movie. It's all about Dylan, baby! I'm glad you think so highly of me.
Best Hawk the Slayer quote ever by Kizeesh	Dec 14th, 2006 04:49:33 PM
http://tinyurl.com/wuxj7 Thankyou Simon and Edgar..
D...Eragon by Cobbio	Dec 14th, 2006 05:24:19 PM
Thanks for the review, Massawyrm. I love the fact you wrote, "Because they [teenage authors] tend to do shit like re-write Star Wars with dragons." This is my feeling exactly. Even if all the FX and acting performances in "Eragon" had been top-notch, how much can a 15-year-old really know about creative drama? The answer: not much. That's not to say a 15-year-old can't come up with cool ideas for cars or spaceships or something, but interesting drama and intrigue? Nah. I predict this film will do gang-busters at the box office despite its negative reviews. There's not much I or anyone can do about it. Then again, I could go and read R. Scott Bakker's "The Prince of Nothing" series again. That's the darkest, bloodiest, most ass-kicking fantasy series I've ever read. That'll make me smile again.
Kizeesh, you were doing great... by raw_bean	Dec 14th, 2006 05:36:19 PM
...until you mentioned George RR Martin. Bleah! The only applicable word when talking about one of his books (at least, the 'Song of Ice and Fire' stuff anyway) is turgid. Actually I lie, try bloated, unfocused, depressing, horribly dreary as well.
I tried reading A Game Of Thrones recently by PervOmatic	Dec 14th, 2006 05:40:07 PM
And yeah, it was tedious stuff...I got what he was aiming for, but it just didn't do it for me. I've read some of Martin's short works and they aren't bad, but nothing that would make me read any more of his work.
a viewpoint.. by Kizeesh	Dec 14th, 2006 05:40:48 PM
ah but you see, thats why GRRM is great. Who else can you count on to kill horribly a character you've grown to love, and not just kill them, ensure that its a cowardly and pointless death as well? The reason I like GRRM is that the characters are all horribly plausible, they're all messed up in their own way just like in real life. Plus its not bloated, its "sprawling" I think its a novel approach that isn't done nearly enough in modern fantasy.
What's wrong with re-writing Star Wars by Lenny Nero	Dec 14th, 2006 05:45:31 PM
with dragons? I know I've been kind of trolling the Eragon stories defending it, but I have always been under the subjective opinion that there is nothing wrong with cliches and taking inspiration from other stories. Shit, then Star Wars itself would be the victim of a great fanboy uprising about how there isn't an original bone in its body. Difference is, Star Wars is a great movie, and Eragon will probably end up not being one. But the book was an enjoyable two days of my life, and I appreciated feeling like a 12-year-old again. Like when I watch Star Wars. And why do I still have to goddamn correct people? The author was 16, not 15, when he STARTED writing the book, and was 19 (NINETEEN) when it was published. Enough with this 15-year-old crap.
It's not that the book borrowed a few ideas by Snowden's Secret	Dec 14th, 2006 06:05:10 PM
and reimagined them. This book isn't just eclectic, it's completely derivative to the point of stealing every single theme. There isn't ANYthing that isn't clearly borrowed. The writing is also godawful and trite. The dialogue just made cringe with how bad it was. There are so many books that kids love that are also well-written. Why can't we make THEM into major motion pictures? How is it possible that THIS gets made before the Pern books?
Re: Lenny Nero by Cobbio	Dec 14th, 2006 06:10:13 PM
I have no problem with you defending the "Eragon" stories. The books have sold very well, so there's got to be something in there that readers like. You should continue to defend the books and film so a contrary viewpoint is presented. I appreciate your fire. That said, is there a big difference between what a 15-year-old and a 19-year-old would write? In those four extra years of life, would the 19-year-old have experienced enough worldly drama to push the quality of their written manuscript significantly higher than the 15-year-old's? Judging from the stories I've read and edited by 19-year-olds, my answer would be no. Certain exceptions exist, I admit, but the age when the level of cohesive, creative drama escalates significantly is around 22-25 years old. This is because the writer has actual life experience to draw on, to reflect on, to inject life into his or her story. I'm not indicting 15-year-olds or 19-year-olds for their juvenile approach to storytelling, since I've read some nicely intriguing stories by teenagers, but even the best stories by teenagers can't hold a candle to the quality of drama in older people's stories. They just can't. If you enjoyed "Eragon," that's cool. Stick to your positive guns. I think the film will do very well at the box office.
Commercial Success by Kizeesh	Dec 14th, 2006 06:17:40 PM
Oh undoubtedly, in this holiday season with no Narnia, LOTR, Harry Potter, or any other fantasy movie out AT ALL for kids who want action, then its going to be the under 12's movie of the season.
Sword and the Sorcerer by Sir Loin	Dec 14th, 2006 06:20:58 PM
Ah, now there was a fine 80's fantasy flick, complete with heads being hacked in half, hearts being ripped out via magic, and a tri-bladed sword that could shoot 2 of the blades out like missiles. Plus Richard Lynch & Richard Moll. NO WAY they could remake that and have it be as good! And whatever happened to the sequel mentioned at the end? "Tales of the Ancient Empire" or something like that.
When I read the title I thought Massawyrm went insane.. by JackPumpkinhead	Dec 14th, 2006 06:32:15 PM
Good to know it's not the case. I had no idea the "book" is a plagiarism of Star Wars, in addition to being a pile of shit... sheesh. Well, anyway, paowhatever could sure use an uncle/aunt with an own movie studio, just as it was with his parents and their publishing house...
Cobbio, thank you. by Lenny Nero	Dec 14th, 2006 06:37:54 PM
My gripe about everyone using the incorrect fact that he was 15 has nothing to do with what you mention, although I am very much with you. Simply, I just wanted an incorrect fact to be corrected. Nothing more.
Boycott Eragon by DarthDooku	Dec 14th, 2006 07:19:54 PM
i didn't have the patience to get through the book, honestly. But if it truly is such a rip-off (great review Massawyrm, btw), i think us SW fans should boycott the movie! lol.
Star Wars rules by Evil_Imp	Dec 14th, 2006 07:43:52 PM
Sounds like this Eragon movie is not even worth commenting on so i'd rather take this opportunity to remind people how truly great ANH was. STAR WARS Forever , Eraogon Never! lol
Arg. by SG7	Dec 14th, 2006 08:34:28 PM
AFAIK the kid didn't write the screenplay, which deviates widly from the book, which in turn sucks radioactive monkey ass. It is exactly the kind of thing an oppressed emo kid would write in highschool to escape from the fact that life sucks. God, Eragon sucked. I'd rather read a million queer sorceror tales from Mercedes Lackey than another book by this no-talent hack.
Best book by Human Worm Baby	Dec 14th, 2006 08:43:32 PM
One of the best books I have ever read is "Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norell". I wanted to read "Eragon" but I don't care for it anymore.
best review ever by smackfu	Dec 14th, 2006 10:06:02 PM
I read the title and thought 'jesus, did massawyrm sustain a head injury or something?' needs more scathing though.
jedsithor by Bloo	Dec 14th, 2006 11:30:56 PM
Dragonriders of Pern came first, Ploni "borrowed" ideasfrom Maccaffery who in turn PRAISED Eargon...which means she couldn't praise her own work so she praised his instead
I would love by QuinnTheEskimo	Dec 15th, 2006 12:02:43 AM
to read Vern's review of this.
i want a dragon by greekopa	Dec 15th, 2006 12:23:34 AM
fly all around dont have to pay for parkin
RE: human Worm Baby by Kizeesh	Dec 15th, 2006 04:54:49 AM
Great book that, by Susanna Clarke, whom i mentioned earlier.....
but is it as good as KRULL? by newc0253	Dec 15th, 2006 05:30:02 AM
seriously: good review, dude.
So does Greedo shoot first? by Spandau Belly	Dec 15th, 2006 07:11:56 AM
Or are we going to have to wait twenty years?
Bob Dylan-'Quinn the Eskimo' by Thomas Cromwell	Dec 15th, 2006 07:38:34 AM
Come on without! Come on within! You'll not see nothin like the mighty Quinn!! Genius.
Living up to the trailer... by biggles2_22	Dec 15th, 2006 08:41:21 AM
...if ever there has been a movie that lives up to the crap trailer, this is it. I'd love to read an article on Trailer v. Movie comparisons. Opposites (movie better or much worse than trailer) and ON TARGET (movie lives up to expectations created by trailer). Third category: CRIMINAL MISLEAD (trailer misleads purely for marketing purposes ie Happy Feet). Discuss amongst yourselves.
Worst Misleading trailer has to be True Romance... by Kizeesh	Dec 15th, 2006 10:35:54 AM
Mr Voice: "They're on the run from 30 Cops, 50 gangsters....and a few thousand bullets" errrm wtf? there were like 6 cops and maybe 8 Gangsters, and the cops weren't even after them, they were after the other guy. An aside I agree but it always bugged me.
Funny review of Eragon over at filmfreak by superninja	Dec 15th, 2006 12:51:24 PM
http://filmfreakcentral.net/sc reenreviews/eragon.htm. My favorite line: "Luckily, what's expected of the cast is not acting, but reacting--mainly to a dragon phantom that spends most of its time looking wise--and wondering whether Eragon is more like Dungeons & Dragons or some gay kid playing with a He-Man action figure."
I've read Eragon and Eldest by Krillian	Dec 15th, 2006 03:14:57 PM
To be fair to Paolini, his first book is 544 pages. So it sounds like the movie cut out a lot of his Tolkien-McCaffrey ripoffs while leaving in the Lucas archetypes. Eragon is a decent read. Eldest, however, you can tell is written by a teenager who thinks he's the Second Coming of a fantasy god, and it is full of self-indulgent passages. It reads a lot like Empire Strikes Back. Eragon is off getting trained for half the book. The other half is his brother and the old townsfolk putting together a resistance. If Eragon makes enough to justify a sequel, there's a lot of crap they can cut from Eldest and make it a halfway decent movie. One could hope.
Eldest (spoilers, if you really care) by ByTor	Dec 15th, 2006 04:29:03 PM
BAH! I'm not going to finish Eldest. It's just getting worse. And if you think the Lucas ripoff stops...whoo-boy. As Krillian mentions, there's lots of ESB, with Eragon off being trained, his cousin setting up local resistance...oh, and here's the best part. The Jed--er, Dragon Rider who betrayed all the Riders to the Emperor? Well...you find out he's Eragon's father. I mean, COME ON.
I Usually Don't Do This.... by DarthDooku	Dec 15th, 2006 09:18:52 PM
i find downloading movies to be bad because of the way it hurts the industry. But screw it, if Eragon really is such a rip, i'll download it now and see how great it really is. So ha! lol.
SW Isn't Sci-Fi, btw by DarthDooku	Dec 15th, 2006 09:22:12 PM
By the way, SW is very much a fantasy saga, set in a futurustic universe. It fits more under the category sci-fantasy if anything :p
Very disappointing movie by Sulik2	Dec 15th, 2006 09:23:26 PM
I just got back from seeing this and was very annoyed at the changes to the end of the movei. Eragon was a decent read for a book and it was sad to see that they took all the little bit of story that made the book not completely a LOTR/Star Wars rip off and took them off. I mean they even changed the Urgals from being Stag people to freaking orcs from LOTR. Why was that necessary? They completely ignored that the Varden were allies with the dwarves and were living in the Dwarves ancestral capital city. The political bickering of the dwarves, varden, and elves is some of the more original stuff in Eragon/Eldest and its gone. They also basically wrecked. Making him seem regretful over his actions. Ignoring that in the book he is still a hero and working with the Varden, and stole Saphira's egg in the first place! I am going to stop now because I could keep going, but basically this movie came off as a Star Wars rip off b/c they cut any of the original story Paolini created.
Corrections by Sulik2	Dec 15th, 2006 09:24:41 PM
They basically wrecked Brom that is. And I forgot to mention the Dwarves weren't even in the movie.
ByTor, that does NOT happen in Eldest. by Lenny Nero	Dec 16th, 2006 12:37:49 AM
Troublemaker.
Massa's new avatar is offensive to Jedi. by Some Dude	Dec 16th, 2006 12:28:22 PM
Seriously, why isn't it given the respect that other religions are?
Eragon a review by emeraldboy	Dec 17th, 2006 07:47:29 AM
Eragon. This film is a gon-er. Ever since Peter Jackson tooks us to the shire, helms deep, mordor and mount Doom. Each studio has been looking for a big budget fantasy epic to put on the big screen. Last year we had the dull chronic(wat)cles of narnia and next year we have part one of Pullmans epic His dark materials trilogy. Rupert Murdoch wanted a piece of the bid budget action and because he is Rupert Mursoch he was damn well going to get his big screen trilogy. Quite what they thought they had in Eragon, I dont know. Stefan Fangmeier knows effects and they are good as is the cinematography. Those who have read the books are not mincing their words in their utter hatred of this film. Paolini and has family have a lot to answer for. The screenwriters on this film havent a fucking clue. The screenwriters plundered Lord of the rings in a dire attempt to have jackson's magic rub off on them. And it failed big time. Joss Stone makes her acting debut in this film. It will possibly be her last. Not only have the screenwriters plunder tolkien they have also plundered Star wars. The hero of the story is a bland, blond haired, blue eyed boy who happens to live with his uncle and brother in a farming community which looks like the shire but with half the budget. Back to the lotr plundering because the land is ruled by mad demented king played John Malkovich and his wizard sidekick, who likes playing mad demented people. There is a first time for everything and this movie marks Robert Carlyles first bad performance. Seinna Guillory is hotness. This is ed speelers first film and he isnt too bad and given the right material he could very good indeed. But the Material is so awful, so dire. Eragon pines at the moon. I really cant see Murdoch spending or wasting more studio money on a sequel to this good looking garbage. I really cannot recommend this movie at all. To name a dragon after a citroen car. good god . That fault lies with the writer and lotr fans prepare to pull your hair out. if they are going to do a sequel they should get a better director but the drubbing that this film is getting , it only has one out come. No more eragon. The scenes between speelers and Irons range from unintentionally funny, the scene where Irons explains the basic concept of magic is one of the funniest things I have seen in years to a scene where irons is dying and it is obvious they lifted the scene from empire strikes back Irons does not say Eragon...you are my son. Eragon gets 2/5
I am readin JS & Mr norrell at moment by emeraldboy	Dec 17th, 2006 07:57:44 AM
I am taking my time with it though. I hope Ms Clarke sues anyone who attempts to film her book in a shoddy way. Norrell is an outstanding read and one of the finest things I have read in years. Seriously....
Having seen Krull by emeraldboy	Dec 17th, 2006 08:03:28 AM
no. Eragon doesnt even a cool weapon like krull did and there are now swamp witches. Krull...wow..that takes me back..
Perv, Bram Stoker's DRACULA is not great literature. by Lenny Nero	Dec 19th, 2006 08:14:44 PM
Considering the time period in which it was written, it is B-movie level pornography with a thinly veiled allegory to venereal disease. That it works better now speaks both to Stoker's foresight and his gallows mentality. Had it not introduced the real (and pretty much nowadays-given) concept of THAT kind of vampire, it's really not much better than an Anne Rice novel. Seriously.

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