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HITCHER remake one-sheet hitches its debut on AICN

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....... by PwnedByStallone	Dec 1st, 2006 12:28:29 PM
(crickets chirping)
Saw the trailer last night by UweBollocks	Dec 1st, 2006 12:28:32 PM
Can't quite make up my mind whether it's just going to be another one of "those" movies, or if it might be something a little different. Sean Bean is a remarkable actor given good material - it'll be interesting to see him take on a crazy-psycho-slasher role at the very least.
First! by HyperKnight23	Dec 1st, 2006 12:28:45 PM
It's okay I guess
This will suck by ldm882	Dec 1st, 2006 12:28:49 PM
just like the first one.
FIRST! by ObiWanCon	Dec 1st, 2006 12:28:55 PM
FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST, FIRST
Wrong Way by JonQuixote	Dec 1st, 2006 12:29:15 PM
Shoulda had Bean as the driver and Bush as the Hitcherette. That would have been a scary idea worthy of a remake - there's a cautionary tale with teeth. Now, it's (probably) destined to be just another inferior slasher redux.
FUCK by ObiWanCon	Dec 1st, 2006 12:29:43 PM
FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK
Sean Bean's top billed for once! by dr_buggerlugs	Dec 1st, 2006 12:29:45 PM
Come on Hollywood, let's make that more into a habit!
What the hell? Dammit Harry! by UweBollocks	Dec 1st, 2006 12:34:26 PM
How did AK-47 jump the queue? Big Red - if there's one thing that is worth some attention on these talkbacks it's doing whatever needs to be done to make sure our posts come up in the right order... especially for those times when an actual discourse is going on and DogPhart of whatever the fuck his name is isn't turning it into bitchfest.
Here here dr_buggerlugs!! by UweBollocks	Dec 1st, 2006 12:36:00 PM
Sean Bean dissed for too long!
Shouldn't the hitcher have his thumb out? by Big Jim	Dec 1st, 2006 12:40:12 PM
Like he's looking to hitch a ride?
why do this? by butnugget	Dec 1st, 2006 12:43:03 PM
Jesus H Christ they are dragging the bottom of the barrel. The original is truly one of the skeeryiest movies but do they really think they can do better? Why don't the movie studios just re-release the original and try to make money?
I can scarcely believe my powerful peeper? by Leopold Scotch	Dec 1st, 2006 12:43:44 PM
Anyone watch the Boosh? Hitcher's my favourite.
Don't forget the random scratches and "grime" by Doctor_Sin	Dec 1st, 2006 12:44:24 PM
That also means, "Kids - this shit is scary! Like The Ring, The Grudge, Saw, Silent Hill, High Tension, Hostel, etc." I think this would have some promise if the hitcher had been a woman. Gets picked up by some horny guy. Terror and mayhem ensues. Ends with bloody pecker in middle of road with horny guy worrying about how he'll explain this to his girl back home.
I'll wait for the next car, thanks by johnnyfavourite	Dec 1st, 2006 12:47:44 PM
just keep driving, i'm ok
From the producers of Shit and Garbage by Cruel_Kingdom	Dec 1st, 2006 12:52:15 PM
They should have said that. These fuckers need to have an original thought instead of remaking old films into garbage.
Amen Cruel_Kingdom by IndustryKiller!	Dec 1st, 2006 12:57:06 PM
The fact that putting those titles on a poster is a draw for people is a strong argument for population control. The fact that this site, which is supposed to be film buffs, treats them with any modicum of respect is even worse.
As much as I like and respect Sean Bean... by sith-vol	Dec 1st, 2006 01:01:56 PM
...this thing is going to suck balls. As for the one sheet, you lost me at "from the producers of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and The Amityville Horror"
Damn you... by Bob X	Dec 1st, 2006 01:15:26 PM
... ah, screw it.
Wow, and there's blood on his fingers, too! by JackPumpkinhead	Dec 1st, 2006 01:18:35 PM
That's so clever and subtle! There was a game a couple of years ago where enemy characters shouted something that's a perfect summary for this film... "Piece o' shit!"
Nothing compares to Rutger Hauer by Mr Incredible	Dec 1st, 2006 01:31:30 PM
I'm waiting for the "It's Alive" remake with the killer devil babies and all.
Wow another classic by godzillasushi	Dec 1st, 2006 01:33:11 PM
and yet more money I wont spend, but ignorant teenagers with raging hormones will.
Stallone questions***** by Jaffa8	Dec 1st, 2006 01:41:13 PM
Where are the Stallone questions....it's Dec 1st DAMMIT!!!
They should remove the tag that says they produced by MrFloppy	Dec 1st, 2006 01:44:48 PM
that Amityville crap.
Sean Bean rocks by Bob of the Shire	Dec 1st, 2006 01:47:15 PM
This film probably won't.
It Would Work Better by Aquatarkusman	Dec 1st, 2006 01:56:36 PM
If he had Pee-Wee Herman's extra-large thumb attachment. I hope that truth-in-corporate-naming legislation passes; they'll be forced to call themselves The Shitty Remake Factory.
From the producers of.. by Spandau Belly	Dec 1st, 2006 02:07:10 PM
..other horror remakes you didn't bother seeing.
Jumping the queue... by PwnedByStallone	Dec 1st, 2006 02:09:25 PM
is as easy as this UweBollocks
Shit. didn't work by PwnedByStallone	Dec 1st, 2006 02:10:15 PM
crapola
Yes, the poster tagline is hilarious. Should read: by one9deuce	Dec 1st, 2006 02:11:30 PM
From the producers of "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" and "The Amityville Horror"..... yet another remake of a horror film from the 70's/80's! I'm not totally against remakes, I think that there are quite a few really good ones. Unfortunately though it's usually some greedy studio/producer trying to make a buck off an established title. And those always suck.
sigh Are they even BOTHERING to try anymore? by TheSeeker7	Dec 1st, 2006 02:54:53 PM
I guess not. Hey, who needs to trouble themselves with such hard work of coming up with even two ounces of an original concept? Apparently let's literally just go thru every horror movie of the last 20 years until we've remade ALL of them AGAIN a rookie director of B-level cast. Yep... mmm... that's the go-to spirit that made me wanna first get into making movies to begin with, anyway... Viva La Reinaissance!!
www.neverpickupstrangers.com?!?! ? by tonagan	Dec 1st, 2006 03:04:38 PM
Was McGruff the Crime Dog their marketing guy?
"The Hitcher's Guide to the Galaxy" by Doctor_Sin	Dec 1st, 2006 03:34:51 PM
Tagline: "Panic!"
You know Theres a handful of remakes out there by beefywhore	Dec 1st, 2006 03:37:16 PM
that I can tolerate, The Fly, The Thing, Cape Fear, Little Shop of Horrors, but why oh why can't we just stop remaking horror films of the 70's and 80's?? Asian filmakers keep putting out relatively original creepy stuff...is there a shortage of writers because I's sure there are a few people in these talkbacks who'd love a chance to write an original script for a horror film...probably there'd be a lot of stinkers, but I bet there are a few ideas out there that would knock our socks off...am I right?
I meant "I'm sure" not I's sure... by beefywhore	Dec 1st, 2006 03:38:46 PM
Stupid fat fingers....
Mr Incredible by Cruel_Kingdom	Dec 1st, 2006 05:25:19 PM
There really is an It's Alive remake in the works. Hard to be too mad at that one, though, considering the fact that Larry Cohen, writer and director of the original, is behind the remake. But it is funny and telling that you can just pull a title out of your ass and make a remake joke, and then, lo and behold, it's actually being remade. Sad, sad, sad creatively bankrupt industry... Hollywood, RIP
This will... by CaseyMcCall	Dec 1st, 2006 06:41:59 PM
blow chunks. Seriously.
How has no one said it?! by la_sith	Dec 1st, 2006 08:03:18 PM
DAMN YOU MICHAEL BAY!
AK-47... haha by UweBollocks	Dec 1st, 2006 08:12:38 PM
would have funny if it had worked though hey? Crapola indeed
Boosh! Boosh! Stronger than a moose! by Captain Mal	Dec 1st, 2006 09:45:22 PM
Love the Boosh. My favorite, however, is either "The Arctic" or "The Fountain of Youth." Sheer brilliance. Here's hopin' for a third season.
NEVER thought I would say this... by Seph_J	Dec 1st, 2006 10:19:56 PM
... but damn you Michael Bay. There. I said it. But Sean Bean is the closest thing to God that actually exists.
could be good if... by spud79	Dec 1st, 2006 10:21:49 PM
It wasn't for the fact then Sean Beanb dies in every film he's been in (except Troy, which was pants), so it kinda spoils the end of this one! (unless, it too, sucks balls)
You know it'll be good, 'cuz it's opening in January by Osmosis Jones	Dec 1st, 2006 10:47:27 PM
Feh.
stringy red stuff hanging from finger. . . by Noeland	Dec 1st, 2006 11:53:30 PM
NOTHING says FEAR like stringy red stuff hanging from a killers fingers!!! Directed by the man who brought you most of PINK's videos!! This should be about as good as photocopies of my shaved ass.
What? No Spaz .12 gauge with collapsible stock? by Uncapie	Dec 2nd, 2006 12:57:50 AM
Suckage.
Damn you Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	Dec 2nd, 2006 01:08:43 AM
Damn you Michael Bay
His fingers make a "D" for Death by BenBraddock	Dec 2nd, 2006 02:36:57 AM
Or is that "D" for "Dogshit"?
www.thiswillsuckwithoutrutgerhau er.com by BannedOnTheRun	Dec 2nd, 2006 03:14:17 AM
Word has it the second half is a courtroom drama after the hero finds a severed human finger in his fries and sues Wendy's.
i suspect...... by mrbong	Dec 2nd, 2006 09:49:56 AM
that this is the first time a remake is being unleashed of which i recall the release of the first (depending on how you see the Lord of the Rings debacle). dear me, i am getting old. this "Beefywhore" makes an interesting observation which they did not see - the decent remakes are all from Grade A, proper directors. this succession of horror remakes by crap, talentless hacks is a different debate. there was nothing wrong with the Rutger Hauer original, and there's no way that anyone, no matter how good Sean Bean is, can top his performance. and what the fuck happened to C Thomas Howell, anyway?
If only it was the Boosh's Hitcher by Subculture	Dec 2nd, 2006 03:50:32 PM
"Trapped in a box by a cockney nutjob. 'Ave a cup a tea, 'ave a cup of tea. I'm The Hitcher, lemme put you in the picture." Classic. He slashes one way, he slashes another, he even slashes diagonally. He's like Connect 4 in dagger terms.
Different, bloodier version of the trailer here... by Scrnriter	Dec 2nd, 2006 05:44:57 PM
This is making the rounds. Like the extra gore a lot. Cautiously optimistic. http://tinyurl.com/ymv44q
FUCK MICHAEL BAY!! by Doc_Strange	Dec 2nd, 2006 07:04:42 PM
that is all...
Not a good idea..... by pdennett316	Dec 2nd, 2006 10:17:43 PM
Why dont they remake shitty films rather than the great ones? Expectations wouldn't run as high and the film will get better press - eg Oceans 11. Oh, and Sean Bean will not be able to pull this off, Kevin Spacey would have been a better choice even if he just redid John Doe. Bean can't really do creepy/psycho, he can only manage shouty/bit moody.
Is there a Photoshop plugin by BannedOnTheRun	Dec 3rd, 2006 04:24:03 AM
...called "Horror Remake?" Avoid the tedium of adding gaussian blur, oversaturation and scratches one at a time. One quick pass of Horror Remake and you're on to your next crappy project!
Just watched the "gory" version of the trailer... by BannedOnTheRun	Dec 3rd, 2006 05:14:14 AM
And my expectations really sank. The good news: ropes and semis aplenty. So much bad news, though... when did C. Thomas ever find the time for steamy shower sex? And I'm already tired of these instant cliches: super quick cuts of static; flashbulb and recharge sound effects; fades timed to pulsing heartbeat sounds. Geez, did you mention this was by the producers of the TCM remake? I NEVER would have guessed from the technique.
milky joe by visitor_q	Dec 3rd, 2006 07:59:16 AM
the mighty boosh rules, has it ventured its way over to the us yet, i pity you if it hasnt IMMMMMMMMMMM OLD GREG
Trunk Monkey!!!!!! by onemanarmy	Dec 3rd, 2006 06:38:41 PM
That's all they need to make this movie a hit. It's perfect for the Trunk Monkey.
visitor_q by Captain Mal	Dec 3rd, 2006 09:26:23 PM
Alas, the Boosh hasn't been released on DVD in the U.S. yet. Those of who are sneaky, however, found copies of online and burned our own discs. I did legitimately purchase the radio series, though. (Sorry about your mangina, by the way)
Last? by Quintus_Arrius	Dec 4th, 2006 02:23:39 AM
Indeed... this Movie will suck! Hail Arrius!
Oh crap. by pandabait	Dec 4th, 2006 11:50:11 AM
I gotta echo another poster; Sean, please, be more selective. Lay off the hookers, crack, or whatever it is that's got you in debt to the point where you're accepting crap scripts like this. Oh well, here's hoping they'll have him naked somewhere in the film. Hey, if they fit in a shower scene for the leads, it could happen.
Want to Die by Jdiddyman11	Jan 11th, 2007 12:16:01 PM
Tying into The Hitcher, Rogue Pictures is offering movie fans the chance of a lifetime- TO GET KILLED ON FILM!! It sounds pretty cool to me. The Rogue-sponsored "Get Killed" Sweeps prize is for the winner to die in an upcoming Rogue production. The Hitcher's official website(www.neverpickupstrange rs.com), is where you can get complete rules for the sweepstakes. Do You Want To Die...On Film? I would be interested in seeing how this goes...

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HITCHER remake one-sheet hitches its debut on AICN

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