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AICN COMICS REVIEWS PUNISHER WAR JOURNAL! SHADOWPACT! TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE! AND MUCH MORE!!!

first by boyblue	Nov 29th, 2006 03:27:59 AM
woohooo
Twice In same day!!!! by boyblue	Nov 29th, 2006 03:29:55 AM
And why does Moonlight have a picture of the New Megatron next to it?
Slayer: No One Get's Out Alive! by BannedOnTheRun	Nov 29th, 2006 03:31:50 AM
AICN's proofreader is doing Flash ads now. Noone does it better.
I will miss Stiltman by BannedOnTheRun	Nov 29th, 2006 03:38:42 AM
I remember him battling Black Goliath back in the day. Good times, man, good times.
Female Peter Parker is hot by Ribbons	Nov 29th, 2006 03:44:44 AM
Yes, I said it. I'd do her/him. Are we sure that this is Bendis' way of "introducing" Spider-Woman? I mean he named a scientist Ben Reilly and that dude's only been in the comic for a handful of panels.
Um...Dave Cockrum died Sunday... by Negative Man	Nov 29th, 2006 05:25:17 AM
And no mention AICN COMICS? You guys on this site need to pay just a tad more attention... Industry legend dies and not a mention by the geek squad. Sheesh.
R.I.P. Dave Cockrum by Zardoz	Nov 29th, 2006 05:53:31 AM
Thanks for the great comics, characters and stories and especially the great artwork. Dying in your Supeman PJ's? That man out-geeked us all! Excelsior!
Damn typos! by Zardoz	Nov 29th, 2006 05:55:17 AM
Superman PJ's is what I meant to say, er, type...
Preacher series on HBO!!! by Zardoz	Nov 29th, 2006 06:02:00 AM
written by Mark Steven Johnson? And directed by Howard Deutch? Fuck. Oh well, I still have high hopes for Y The Last Man and The Walking Dead. (are you listening HBO?)
We always knew we'd see Breakworld by DOGSOUP	Nov 29th, 2006 06:15:04 AM
After all, The Brood had some facetime in Planet Hulk and they're tied closely to the filthy mutie scu...I mean..the X Men. In conclusion, I'll miss Stilt Man only because he was the lamest entry in The Marvel Encyclopedia when I was a kid.
X-Men/White Tiger by Black Satin 2	Nov 29th, 2006 06:28:28 AM
Not done to death? Excuse me, but didn't the end of issue 18 remind people of how Phoenix and the crew were just snatched by the Shi'ar and forced to fight against it's Imperial Guard? Anyway, I thought it was a good resolution. I was thinking of getting issue 1 of White Tiger but if it's an issue where she joins other superheroes what's the point? Here, they have a chance to do something akin to 'Veronica Mars' where we can go into her world and she investigates strange things happening around her. The occasional superhero could drop by (Daredevil, Spider-Man) but this should be a series where writers would want to build their own audience. That other way seems a sure ticket to cancellation.
Double post, I'm sorry but I have to say- by DOGSOUP	Nov 29th, 2006 06:36:19 AM
How did they come up with Howard Deutch for the HBO series? Pretty in Pink. Melrose Place. A eunich mob hitman charged to shoot off Cassidy's balls everytime they regenerate, a guy who likes to fuck the guts of slit open fish, The Saint of Killers, "Go Fuck Yourself.", the cycle Pissant-Failed Suicide-Arseface-Rock God, anything that goes in and comes out of Starrs mouth. The best news is this isn't a movie. Finally someone listened to a rated R serial show. If this is a trend I'd like to see a twistedly animated hard MA Transmet.
Zardoz by beastie	Nov 29th, 2006 06:51:26 AM
Where is this information coming from? Really, I'm not doubting you, just curious.
Nevermind Zardoz... by beastie	Nov 29th, 2006 06:59:14 AM
I just read about it on just about every other movie site. Wierd. Not my first choices, or for that matter second through twentieth, but if it sucks, I can just re-read the comics.
How about ultimate MJ Watson?! by Argentino	Nov 29th, 2006 07:14:16 AM
SPOILER she turns into a funcking "Red Goblin" now? WTF? I could accept Petunia Parker, if they eventualy whipe her mind so she's no longer a boy in her mind and can become Jessica Drew. But I don't see any way out of the MJ mess. I don't think they can just cure her. They can't cure the Hulk nor the Green Goblin, so it would suck if they finally find a cure for "super soldier" serums gonne wrong.
Thanks assholes... by Sledge Hammer	Nov 29th, 2006 07:45:04 AM
...for actually giving us real reviews this week instead of a bunch of 'look at me aren't I clever/witty/cool' type schtick, it's appreciated, and makes for far better and far more interesting reading. Still don't agree with you about Aquaman though, which has been a real pleasant surprise for me since the OYL direction change. This is the first time in a damn long time that I've actually found the book interesting, specifically because they are trying to do something different, and for me it works, even though it is very anti-purist in it's approach, and the new kid is often often overshadowed by an often more interesting supporting cast.
Maybe MJ's serum was different from the others. by rev_skarekroe	Nov 29th, 2006 08:06:36 AM
As for the girl Parker clone, I figured that out as soon as she appeared. And I don't even buy Ultimate Spider-Man, I just thumb through it at the store every month.
Bendis can't end anything by Nightwood	Nov 29th, 2006 08:08:06 AM
The man tries to write mysteries, but the problem is that he has no idea how to plot a mystery (start with the resolution first). Go look at 'Powers' and how many story arcs are solved by a deus ex machina showing up in the story's final chapter. Or take a hard look at 'Ultimate Spider Man': have you ever noticed how most of the arcs follow the same pattern? Subtle threats are established early on, a sort of background gathering of menace while Peter frets about Mary Jane. Then, in the arc's last two issues, all the menace is revealed to be a big-ass monster that Peter then spends exactly one and a half issues beating up. That's it. Bendis's reimagining of all these Spider-Man villians consists of just turning them into monsters (Venom, Carnage, Hobgoblin and Green Goblin...) Sometimes the book is quite good because of atmosphere and characterization, but Bendis is one of the weakest plotters at work today. His skill resides in his ability to milk his paper-thin plots for cheap suspense. The man has no idea how to structure mysteries, but 'the mystery' seems to be his steady formula.
New Creative Team On Aquaman by holidill	Nov 29th, 2006 08:15:15 AM
There is going to be a new creative team on Aquaman, I think with issue 50. I don't recall who it is.
Ultimate Spider-Man review by kiddae	Nov 29th, 2006 08:25:09 AM
Wha? Why would you assume that Bendis is setting up "Ultimate Spider-Woman"? First of all, it was obvious she was a female clone the moment she appeared. Secondly, the whole fucking joke here is that Bendis has taken a character notorious for being his favourite and made the Ultimate version a sham. A false identity for a lady Parker clone. I would be extremely surprised if (m)any of the clones survive this arc, and even more surprised if "Jessica Drew" is among them. Yes, this was the weakest issue of the clone saga thus far, since it was little more than Bendis continually going "Oh, oh! Spider-Woman! Ben Reilly! Madame Web!(?!!?)", but to complain that the "Ultimate Clone Saga" is silly is a bit like complaining that the Punisher killed a guy. P.S. Is anyone else tired of reviewers parading their weird sexual hang-ups in their reviews? Last week it was a possibly-bisexual Dr. Strange that managed to not-ruin the issue (how generous!), and now we're terrified that Spider-Man might fuck himself(!). Dear oh dear.
parading weird sexual hang-ups? by Nightwood	Nov 29th, 2006 09:09:49 AM
It's a sexual hang-up not to want to see a fairly iconic character suddenly portrayed completely against character as a bi-sexual? It's a sexual hang-up to be a little disturbed that male Peter Parker is trapped in a female body? No, I think it's just personal taste. It must be convenient to term any matter of personal taste that doesn't gel with your agenda as a 'hang-up.' Hell, kiddae, not wanting to fuck a monkey is probably a hang-up, too, I guess And I'm a lesbian you nut.
Nightwood by Squashua	Nov 29th, 2006 09:39:09 AM
I'm a lesbian.
Wizard magazine still pimps All Star Batman... by loodabagel	Nov 29th, 2006 09:40:33 AM
Are they out of their freaking minds? I want this gah-damn magazine to gain some class. To all of those Ultimate Spider-Man haters-You're just pissed that werewolf MJ doesn't want to fuck your balls. The clone saga's great. Seriously guys, relax.
I wish I had a clone...(to fuck) by thecrimsoncurse	Nov 29th, 2006 09:57:01 AM
I disagree with your opinion of ultimate clone saga, however, after the big reveal i also instantly wondered if Peter Parker would try and fuck himself. If that is not good writing I don't know what isn't.
Spider-Woman with Peter Parker's brain... by Squashua	Nov 29th, 2006 10:04:19 AM
... would probably be a lesbian.
John Bolton's Snow White is a softcore pornstar by thecrimsoncurse	Nov 29th, 2006 10:12:42 AM
I posted this in the last talkback but i don't think anyone saw it. Here it is again with a comparison shot. this is from page 26 of 1001 nights of snowfall - http://img387.imageshack.us/im g387/1572/shuqijohnboltonam1.j pg
crimsoncurse... by loodabagel	Nov 29th, 2006 10:17:26 AM
John Bolton's art was indeed roto-scoped, but in a book with so much variety of art, I thought it was nice to see. After all, there was a lot more stuff than that, so even if I didn't like it, I don't think it would have bothered me too much.
sorry but by thecrimsoncurse	Nov 29th, 2006 10:38:06 AM
recognizing a character as someone you regularly jerk off to totally took me out of the book. He could have at least used his own models or photos he actually took. I'm fairly new to comics, back from an 11 year hiatus. But when is it commonplace to take a random photo you have no association with and pass it off as your art. Is John Bolton the Duchamp of comics? What is he trying to tell me by using a nude photo of the chick that was in "the transporter" as snow white? That I masturbate too much? well Mr. Bolton duly noted. Anyways I'm not trying to hate on all his work, but the snowfall piece was a mixed bag at best and it wasn't helped by the writing.
things by rev_skarekroe	Nov 29th, 2006 11:09:43 AM
1) How is a bisexual Dr. Strange against character? Did he ever say "It's chicks only for me!" or "This ass is exit only!" or something? Otherwise, I don't get it. 2) Wizard pimps everything. The days when they dared to be critical of any series that's long cancelled ended many years ago.
Romero's Undead IS explained by WarpedElements	Nov 29th, 2006 11:15:53 AM
Hate to break it to you, but they did explain what caused the undead to rise. In the opening scenes for Night, they said that a satilite (of love. MST3K 4tw) returned from venus, radiation this that and the other. They reanimate the core of the brain (as explained in Day).
squasha by Nightwood	Nov 29th, 2006 11:44:22 AM
Spider-woman with Peter Parker's brain would be an incredible lesbian. Could you imagine all those stories about Peter's problems with women retold with Peter as a smoking hot lesbian, always stressing about his romantic life while verbally humiliating villians-- same personality and everything, same brain, it's just he's a lesbian. Hah.
Let's start an intelectual debate... by Argentino	Nov 29th, 2006 12:15:12 PM
If you were ultimate Peter Parker: Would you go and fuck yourself? So, you're needy and you have the chance. And you just met her, so there's no brother-sister thing going on. What would you do?
Nightwood - Lesbian Spider-Man by Squashua	Nov 29th, 2006 12:29:21 PM
Wow, that's a great idea. They should do that to other characters too, like Batman.
hey look! by Shigeru	Nov 29th, 2006 12:50:40 PM
a lesbian! it's day 2 and the TB has already descended into "would you fuck yourself"... awesome!
and to answer that question: by Shigeru	Nov 29th, 2006 12:53:31 PM
yes, yes I would.
ADS! by arrangedletters	Nov 29th, 2006 12:59:35 PM
When did the ads in Marvel books go so insane? In the latest Daredevil there were 26 pages of ads versus 22 of story. We need to rally about this crap!
about the question by Argentino	Nov 29th, 2006 01:08:29 PM
would it be cheating if I fuck my clone or would it count like masturbation?
this brings to mind the by thecrimsoncurse	Nov 29th, 2006 01:15:50 PM
this brings to mind the David Cross bit about gay guys and fucking yourself.
Spidey & Civil War by mattb127	Nov 29th, 2006 02:31:05 PM
I didn't pick up this issue because I gave up on JMS's spiderman about three years ago, when it was entering JMS's inevitable five-year-long death throes, but I'm glad to see someone finally gave Spiderman a damn moral compass on this issue. He's been reading like he's attached to Tony Stark's ass. Okay, I get it, he admires Tony Stark, but Spiderman is the center of the marvel universe, period. Iron Man = dick.
Wait a minute...! by superhero	Nov 29th, 2006 02:38:33 PM
Bendis writes about Peter Parker in the body of a teenaged girl and I'm the one with the sexual hangups???? WTF???
Mr. McPoops by Ribbons	Nov 29th, 2006 03:17:38 PM
Remember "Mort of the Month"? "Wizard" has definitely lost its edge, and it's partially AICN's fault. With the advent of the Internet, the only way that a monthly can expect to stay in the game is to suck up to the distributors and film studios in exchange for exclusives. I still catch some of that vintage snark in the improv word bubbles that "Wizard" throws in every now and again, but it's nowhere near as funny as it used to be. It's also kind of annoying how every other article seems to be a set visit to some crappy superhero movie nowadays.
Fucking ads, is right!! by Zardoz	Nov 29th, 2006 03:19:38 PM
I agree, the amount of ads in comics today is ridiculous, especially Marvel. They really interrupt the flow of the story. ("Oooh. What happens next? Oh. Car ad. Candy ad. Video game ad. Next panel...) I'm almost to the point of NEVER buying a monthly title again. (I mean, just wait a few months and you can buy the trade, which is usually cheaper and has NO ads) But, for now, instant gratification is winning out over patience. But I've said it before and I'll say it again: put ALL of the ads in the back, or, charge more for the comic and dump 'em altogether!
no review of The Killer? by v1cious	Nov 29th, 2006 03:55:57 PM
seriously, everyone needs to read issue one of this. i'm absolutely loving The Boys right now, but i agree that they really need to get to the action. all in all 5 was a great issue though.
Yep, more ads yet the price of comics... by superhero	Nov 29th, 2006 04:21:47 PM
keeps going up and up and up and up! $3.99 for the Batman/Spirit crossover? Man, if it wasn't for the discount my retailer gave me I'd be broke as hell! What the hell am I talking about? I'm broke as hell anyway!
No, sorry, WarpedElements... by Ambush Bug	Nov 29th, 2006 06:49:51 PM
Romero's Living Dead isn't really explained as much as it is hinted at. No one knows about how the zombie plague starts. There are rumors about downed satellites, viruses, meteor showers, and religious sects, but no concrete explanation. And that's the way I like it. It's like explaning a joke or solving a mystery on X-FILES or LOST. Once the cat's out of the bag, it loses something that made it special.
Spider sex... by loodabagel	Nov 29th, 2006 07:22:37 PM
The big point everybody seems to be missing Would lesbian Spider-Woman let Peter screw her? Peter probably fucks himself a lot as it is, but how awkward would it be to do it with his "feminine side?"
Is Gail Simone still doing BoP?? by CarmillaVonDoom	Nov 29th, 2006 08:59:00 PM
I usually wait for the trades for this series, but I think I may have to pick up #100 off the shelf. I need some good girl heroes, since Supergirl is a HUGE dud, and Snake Woman, just so-so.
If Ultimate Peter Parker got himself pregnant... by Squashua	Nov 29th, 2006 09:15:25 PM
...would he have extra-retard babies?
My Dave Cockrum Obit. by Squashua	Nov 29th, 2006 09:17:29 PM
Dave gave us "bell-bottom" Phantom Girl, "Wolverine" Timber Wolf, and "faceplate-burning" Wildfire. Not well known for creating "Manphibian", Dave will be missed by many. Yes, do I own "The Legion Companion", why do you ask?
don't know if anyone is reading by Bloo	Nov 29th, 2006 11:05:43 PM
but I'm actually interested in reading the abortion known as Civil War...will they be releasing a TB of it and if so...how?
Yeah, Gail's still on BoP. by SleazyG.	Nov 29th, 2006 11:16:33 PM
I've been with BoP from the first issue of the first mini, and I have nothing but respect for what Chuck Dixon started here. I also loved all his early work on the series. That said, Gail has really made it her own, and brought a lot of great female characters back from the forgotten depths. I'm beyond thrilled to see Lady Blackhawk around. I also really dig the new female characters she's created, the new Rose/Thorn and Black Alice. If you're looking for a book about female characters but you want them to be capes as well, this is the best single choice, hands down. Better than SUPERGIRL or WONDER WOMAN without question. I'd put CATWOMAN in second, probably.
Everett... by SleazyG.	Nov 29th, 2006 11:20:43 PM
...there's absolutely no question CIVIL WAR will be collected in trade, but not until at least a few months after the series ends. As for how, it's really hard to say because there are so many titles tied in. My guess would be one for the seven issues of CW and then one or two trades for CW: FRONT LINE since it's going up to 11 or 12 issues at this point. The other related stuff like SPIDEY and FF, though, are anybody's guess as to whether or how they'll be collected.
You guys should review Supergirl #12 w/new Terra by CarmillaVonDoom	Nov 29th, 2006 11:22:00 PM
Seriously, lots of chuckles could come out of that one! ;^)
SleazyG... by Bloo	Nov 30th, 2006 12:36:36 AM
Thanks I figured tey would be collecting them I just wasn't sure how. I have no comic book store in my little Kansas town or one anywhere near so I really have to relay on tbs for my comics anymore, so I'm pretty selective, but this cival war abortion has me curious beyond curios, thanks for info
v1cious, RE: The Killer by dan grendel	Nov 30th, 2006 07:00:02 AM
I reviewed it a couple weeks ago, when it came out. Check that archive for a review.
Anyone else miss the old Blue Devil? by bottleimp	Nov 30th, 2006 08:39:00 AM
The only reason I started buying The Shadowpact series was that I hoped it would be a return of the classic, light-hearted Blue Devil that was so unique in the 80's. Instead, it looks like he's going to become another rhyming Etrigan knock-off. Whatever happened to comics that were actually fun to read?
Blue Beetle! by Thalya	Nov 30th, 2006 09:10:39 AM
Squashua, so glad you're giving this book some love. It had its paced-for-the-trade first arc be a real slow starter but now it seems to really be kicking into gear. I wound up grinning when I set this one down, only to pick it up hours later. Was it just me, or did you hear the cat on the tech sister's hat meowing all anime-like at you too? Loved how those two just came out of the blue..
I have afried who only reads the last page of... by loodabagel	Nov 30th, 2006 10:09:50 AM
Astonishing X-Men. He's all like "Dude, I just want to see what the surprise twist ending is." And I'm like "Dude, you just anally raped that comic book."
Walking Dead #33 by Shigeru	Nov 30th, 2006 10:25:15 AM
Yes 33, not 32. This issue must be coming out soon because I got a copy. It's going to be more hotly debated than the "Michonne gets raped" issue. It's CRAZY.
Blue Beetle by Squashua	Nov 30th, 2006 10:45:27 AM
Yea, the cat on the hat spoke to me too. Also, it was recently pointed out to me that the black-outlined symbol on Blue Beetle's chest that we all think is the head of a beetle is actually... 52
I think that one page... by Thalya	Nov 30th, 2006 11:53:12 AM
..introducing the Blue Beetle tech support accomplished more than most writers do in a single issue. Gah, I wanna get home so I can scan it, put it up and sing its praises on my blog..
.. by blackthought	Nov 30th, 2006 11:58:58 AM
...
This month's ish by Squashua	Nov 30th, 2006 12:30:32 PM
It totally made up for last month's very weak Dan Garrett issue.
Damn Skippy by Mister Mediocre	Nov 30th, 2006 01:47:43 PM
“Honestly, though, it’s just fucking great to see Connor back as the star of a book and not playing “damsel in distress” in the GREEN ARROW title.” Damn skippy, Ambush Bug. Daaaaaaaaamn Skippy! If we can have two GL titles why not two GA books?
52.. by Thalya	Nov 30th, 2006 02:46:56 PM
Heralds the return of Blue Beetle? whines But we already _saw_ that in Blue Beetle #1!!!...
I am really ashamed by nofate	Nov 30th, 2006 03:12:50 PM
I promised myself I wouldn't do this anymore but I did it anyway. I bought White Tiger 'cuz of the cover. Is nice you gotta admit and I was hoping for a decent story but alas I was wrong. One thing that gets me though, even though I'm hispanic, is that writers, and Quesada, who is of Cuban descent, was guilty of this on NYX and DD:Father, automatically assume that if a character has some latin in their background, they must speak in "Spanglish" (combination of Spanish and English for you anglos) I absolutely loathe that tendency on my race and much more on my comics. Most of the time, they can't even spell the Spanish word right.
In defense of Spanglish... by SleazyG.	Nov 30th, 2006 05:51:47 PM
...I grew up around Greek and Serbian speakers. My command of both languages was minimal at best--I could sing or pray in church, order off a menu, and give rudimentary answers but that was it. It wasn't unusual, though, for my friends and family to drop in a word here in there in another language. I also had an Indian friend in high school who would speak streams of his local dialect to his parents, with words like "fuckin'" or "homecoming" dropped in to the middle. I can understand why you find it annoying and why it may seem like stereotyping, but I also think it's an accurate portrayal of the experiences of families of recent immigrants. I think the only reason they don't do it in popular media with more languages is simply that Spanish is the most widely understood. You could do it with Polish or Canadian characters, but who the hell would understand 'em?
One thing I agree with BMB is... by Homer Sexual	Nov 30th, 2006 09:04:41 PM
That Spider-Woman is a great character. But specifically Jessica Drew, so I guess an Ultimate Spider Woman who is simply a clone of PP would be uninteresting. And I am also dropping Shadowpact after trying hard to like it. Dull.
spanglish in comics by Shigeru	Dec 1st, 2006 10:01:32 AM
First of all, I'd like to hear from the Latin Cogs about said subject. But to me, it comes off as fairly contrived and forced. It seems like an obvious effort to not only include a minority character (a good thing), but to blatantly UNDERLINE the fact that they are a minority. Kind of like Luke Cage's old jive-talkin. Or something. I know I have some latin friends and they pretty much roll their eyes at it. But that may have to do with the serious dearth of Latino characters in comics. I mean...Arana? Are you kidding me? I'll give them Victor Mancha, though, cause he's the tits.
Nice to see at least one writer watching. by Squashua	Dec 1st, 2006 12:35:32 PM
We @$$holes occasionally get feedback from the writers, which means they might actually be reading what we wrote. It's a vicious cycle. :-) Hopefully he understands where I was going with my review; his fan from Canada sure didn't.
botched Spanish by The Heathen	Dec 1st, 2006 01:21:49 PM
don't forget about botched French either, it really is strangled too. Mancha IS the tits.
On the head Shigeru! by nofate	Dec 1st, 2006 01:25:02 PM
Anytime I see/read a character that is hispanic (or any minority for that matter) and they start talking in what it's preconceived as the norm for that race, I just feel embarrased for all involved. Like the immortal Tom Cruise said, "Do the research". Not all hispanics speak in Spanglish, not all Asians are into street racing, not all blacks wear chains and oversized clothes.
another vote for Mancha by Homer Sexual	Dec 1st, 2006 02:27:18 PM
Victor is the tits, indeed. I am not latino, but all my friends are and I'm bilingual. And I think that everyone who speaks Spanish and English speaks Spanglish to some degree, so using some of it does make the dialogue more authentic. But otoh, most of the time I don't think the writers are really bilingual, so they mess it up and it comes off as weak. Black people, teen agers, southerners, etc...all have distinct speech patterns but they're hard to write, esp. if writers don't have sufficient background.
thanx nofate by Shigeru	Dec 1st, 2006 02:27:21 PM
i'm a genius, it's true.
Squash-- somebody has to be reading... by Shigeru	Dec 1st, 2006 02:37:10 PM
Because I see AICN pull quotes on every other book/trade out there...
Heh. Yeah, I've seen that too. by Squashua	Dec 1st, 2006 02:44:35 PM
I'd love to get one of mine up there, but I tend to write mostly negative reviews. :-) Was really hoping to get quoted on my "The Exterminators" or "She-Hulk" reviews from early-on. See if you can figure out which one(s) I'm talking about. :-)
I Got A Negative Review Quoted On A Cover, Squash... by Buzz Maverik	Dec 1st, 2006 04:47:28 PM
ULTRA by the Luna Brothers. I fucking hated the first issue. As far as I am concerned, it had everything that's wrong with comics this decade in it (and wrong with the fans). However, I wanted to be fair and I admired the Bros. artistic and design talent and I said so. Also, they were brand new, working outside of Marvel and DC and I didn't want to rip them. I'm a big believer in the enjoyment of comics being all about the work and the reviews not being personal, so how could I come down too hard on two new talents. And I believe in making the reviews as truthful as I can and if there's something good to say about a book I don't like, I have to say it. Talk about focusing on the positive. It was like one of those newspaper ads for movies where you know Ebert hated the damned dawg but they quote "The acting...was...fine". I know someone was going to say, "Buzz, what did you hate about ULTRA?" Well, I only read issue one because, dammit, if you bore me with issue one, I ain't comin' back for issue two, but that issue was talky, boring and a misuse of the medium. You've got a visual medium, which, unlike film, is only limited to what the artist can draw and Luna has the chops to draw anything...so what do they do? SEX IN THE CITY without the sex. Four chicks talking. You can show the birth and death of worlds, blazing machine gun battles, falls that would break any computer and you show me...four chicks talking.
Also, Don't Get Hung Up On Getting Quoted... by Buzz Maverik	Dec 1st, 2006 04:51:40 PM
That could lead to writing to get quoted, which is how we took over here because the guys we couped couldn't write a negative review and had the censor themselves because the head guy wanted quotes, quotes, quotes. When I think of the term "@$$hole" after I think of a smelly, disgusting body part, I next think of integrity!
The one valid reason to "write to get quoted": by SleazyG.	Dec 1st, 2006 06:15:11 PM
It's a helpful tool sometimes to teach myself to be more concise and specific. There have been times I went back and read a review to edit it, and approached it as if I were looking to pull quotes from it. I found if I did that I caught a lot of spots where I was either running on or combining too many thoughts in one sentence or paragraph. It was a helpful exercise to improve my writing. Did any of those reviews end up quoted? Not that I know of offhand. It definitely made for more direct, punchier writing, though.
Well, You Write For A Good Read, Of Course... by Buzz Maverik	Dec 1st, 2006 06:34:04 PM
...and I can see how the quote exercise would help, but I meant that we'd never fluff some book or "CRE-A-TOR" to get a quote on a cover.
true by Shigeru	Dec 1st, 2006 10:06:22 PM
i mean, you guys don't want to turn into freaking Peter Travers
Victor Mancha... by loodabagel	Dec 1st, 2006 11:48:13 PM
Is the tits, mouth, and vagina. For whatever reason I picked up Moon Knight 6 this week. We just started getting it, and I figured he's about the coolest Batman rip off around, so why not? Well, for starters, I have never enjoyed David Finch's art. There have been times (New Avengers) that I absolutely hated it. But not this time. For the first time in my life, I found myself enjoying the artwork. But storywise, I had absolutely no idea what was going on. It was like-"Okay, I guess Moon Knight's fighting Taskmaster. Oh, now a guy's vomiting. Now he's all civilian-like. Why are people calling him Jake? Now a faceless dude is a god? Huh? That's messed up. Moonie ripped it off? What the fuck? Now he's having a blood orgy? Is that a dead chick? Is that his girlfriend? Would a sane woman really go for that? Gross." If someone could fill me in, I would really apreciate it.
Cover Quotes by Mister Mediocre	Dec 2nd, 2006 06:36:09 AM
Cover quotes don’t really influence my purchasing. Why? The reviewer isn’t listed. Only the site is shown, AICN. The bottom line is some @$$hole’s opinions I value more than others. What influences my purchasing more than anything is clever/funny cover copy. For instance, I was on the fence regarding buying Zombies Vs Robots #1. Then I read “From the Eisner Award Losing Team” on the cover. That shit went home with me and it’s the first book I read this week.
Who the heck is Peter Travers? by Squashua	Dec 2nd, 2006 12:19:22 PM
I write to let you guys know whether something sucks; I only write about books that I feel passionate about (not in that way). Buzz, what did the Ultra quote say?
who the fak are the luna brothers? by blackthought	Dec 2nd, 2006 12:28:58 PM
and i am a black man who wears large chains.
peter travers reviews movies for rolling stone by Shigeru	Dec 2nd, 2006 03:53:32 PM
he gives a stellar, knockout performance in the magazine that defines blockbuster!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! get it?
I remember he said something atrocious about Posiedon.. by loodabagel	Dec 2nd, 2006 11:03:50 PM
Atrocious in the sense that it was completely moronic. But I also think he called X Men 3 the gayest movie ever, so it evens out. Today I read Ultimate Spider-Man, Spiderman Loves Mary Jane, Punisher War Journal, X-Factor and Daredevil. Hurrah for perpetually late comic books.
Night Time Smoothies... by loodabagel	Dec 2nd, 2006 11:45:16 PM
I played Gears of War today. The human army is called "The Cogs." The bad guys weren't called vogs, but I imagine vogs look something like the game's villains. That, or versions of ourselves with black jumpsuits (instead of our usual blue duds) and eye patches and facial hair. How's that for writing to get quoted! Summer 2007: Gears of War: X Box Favorites Edition now caries the praise "I imagine vogs would look something like this."-Loodabagel, at Aint It Cool News Comics. Now this was a while ago, but somebody posted a picture of Spider-man clutching MJ's gravestone. Everybody was all like "That's got to be a Civil War thing. It looks fake because it is a Michael Turner picture" But I was like, "Dude, it's a Kaare Andrews." Did I call it? Gimme props. I freaking called it.
... by blackthought	Dec 3rd, 2006 12:23:14 PM
...
... by loodabagel	Dec 3rd, 2006 04:56:50 PM
Yeah, I'm lost for words myself.
Peter Travers isn't Pat Travers, is he? by Squashua	Dec 4th, 2006 09:29:04 AM
Of the Pat Travers Band? I know the bassist.
I met Neil Young once... by loodabagel	Dec 4th, 2006 09:39:07 AM
But I didn't actually meet him. I mean, I said hi to him, but that was it. Then he played music. And it wasn't really Neil Young. It was just this guy who looked like Neil Young. He really really looked like Neil Young. And not Neil Young circa 1975. I'm talking Neil Young right fucking now.
The ULTRA Quote... by Buzz Maverik	Dec 4th, 2006 10:58:50 AM
Just said "This is great talent and imagination at work." Which is true, but I was talking about the design work on the book. The story, characters and dialogue, what the Lunas did with their talent, I hated and said so. At least about issue one. I bought the trade simply because how often does the side effect of a drug get quoted on the cover of a publication? I couldn't actually bring myself to read the book but the rest of the stuff appeared marginally better than the first issue. It's kind of odd, because it knocked me out visually, but it's like the Lunas had a scope that allowed them to see exactly what I hate in comic books. Let's have pointless talk. Let's make it like a chick oriented sitcom, without the redemption of humor or sex, because our audience is mostly male because at the same time we can neuter them further because they can no longer relate to male heros unless the character is behaving unheroically, and they can cover this up by saying that the female characters are hot because they relate more to pencil and ink than flesh and blood and we can objectify women while neutering men at the same time.
hello? by Shigeru	Dec 4th, 2006 04:52:55 PM
...Goodbye, Chunky Rice.
... is it me you're looking for? by dregmobile	Dec 4th, 2006 07:48:42 PM
Was anyone else bored to tears by the Batman/Spirit crossover? It started nicely, but I think the two guys meeting at a cafe and just talking would have been just as interesting a meeting than the one in this. Still, I am curious about this Spirit character, knowing nothing about him, and will certainly grab a copy of the new DC series starting ... Wow, the Captain America Drums of War arc ended on a lame note. Nothing really happened in this latest issue. The other two were great, but this ... ? Maybe Brubaker does better sticking to the supporting players. Nice two-page splash, though. The Black Panther Civil War tie in was exciting however. Riddled with cliche at every angle, it was nevertheless a solid read with nice, flowing art. I'll have everyone know I'm NOT buying up every Civil War tie-in - I ignored the Ms Marvel and X-Factor tie-ins coz they just looked boring. I'm loving the art in the latest Superman/Batman arc. Kilowog's neck muscles look like a giant water slide at an amusement park. Also, I think this was the first time I've seen Plastic Man's head and face drawn to look like a normal guy and not Jim Carrey. Awesome art.
We've had 'Inevitable' ... 'Invincible' ... by dregmobile	Dec 4th, 2006 07:59:52 PM
... so why not 'Ironic Iron Man'? Just a mini. Four issues. Okay, maybe two. A one-shot. I'll stop now ...
Plastic Man... by loodabagel	Dec 5th, 2006 09:22:55 AM
Hey, I'm just trying to keep the ball rolling here.
No I didn't buy Batman/The Spirit... by Shigeru	Dec 5th, 2006 09:30:00 AM
Because it cost FIVE FARKING DOLLARS. EFF THAT.
dreg... by The Heathen	Dec 5th, 2006 12:13:30 PM
X-Factor is one of Marvel's best titles. Don't deny yourself the pleasure of it. It's pretty awesome.
Yeah. by dregmobile	Dec 5th, 2006 04:07:16 PM
I had a feeling someone would bring me up on X-Factor. I didn't buy because I know none of the characters, was not won over by the art. Shit, I have no idea what an X-Factor is. Might research over at Wiki-Wiki Wild Wild Wikipedia. You did well not to buy the crosover, Shig. I was hoping it would give me some info on this Spirit character. It failed there and also failed as an engaging story.
I think now would be a good time to start reading... by loodabagel	Dec 6th, 2006 09:58:24 AM
X-Factor. I'm still not sure what exactly Monet's powers are, but after 4 (four) issues of the series, I think I'm figuring things out. The current issue is basically all talky, but it'll give you a great perspective on all the characters.
... by blackthought	Dec 6th, 2006 12:59:51 PM
...
http://www.comicspace.com/aicn_c omics/ by Squashua	Dec 8th, 2006 01:08:53 PM
http://www.comicspace.com/aicn _comics/

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