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A Way Early Review Of SHREK THE THIRD!!

Does anyone care? by Jay Jay	Nov 13th, 2006 11:15:27 AM
First one was good, second was absolute shite. A sequel by numbers. I hope this will be the last.
And... by Jay Jay	Nov 13th, 2006 11:16:09 AM
First. Finally.
Puss in Boots is the man by Nozoki	Nov 13th, 2006 11:19:03 AM
Will be nice to see him back in action.
Does anyone care? by Ken Luxury Yacht	Nov 13th, 2006 11:31:20 AM
With a combined gross of over $700million, I would say, yes. Yes they do. And, hell, I enjoy them and so do my kids, so that makes at least three of us. In case you're counting Jay Jay. :-)
This could be fake. by tile_mcgillus	Nov 13th, 2006 11:35:14 AM
I think I read a more descriptive synopsis than this review.
Shrek films are ok... by Seph_J	Nov 13th, 2006 11:44:51 AM
... but I wonder if the third will be as popular as 1 and 2. I certainly wont be rushing to see this.
MCMLXXVI IS A WANKER by Seph_J	Nov 13th, 2006 11:46:33 AM
MCMLXXVI IS A WANKER
Ken Luxury Yacht by Jay Jay	Nov 13th, 2006 11:46:46 AM
Hey Ken, I'm not disputing that they are popular films. I just think the second film smacked of laziness. I liked the first and found the sequel disappointing. But I'm sure plenty of people and their families out there liked it and if it made money, then of course another sequel will follow. That's Hollywood I guess. Great name by the way. One of my favorite sketches. And no, I'm not counting.
MCMLXXVI IS A WANKER by Jay Jay	Nov 13th, 2006 11:49:29 AM
Seconded!
Instantly Dated by Kentucky Colonel	Nov 13th, 2006 12:07:19 PM
The "jokes" in the Shrek movies make them instantly dated....the way a 72 FORD GALAXY instantly places whatever movie it appears in. Shrek was good fun. Shrek II was so much wink-wink nod-nod that I felt like I was on the nod. I'll wait for the worldwide DVD release on this one.
Eh! by porterdsgn	Nov 13th, 2006 12:08:21 PM
I'll probably see it with my kids, but if they decide to thow in a Shrek baby, I'm boycotting!
Shrek is not funny by Pipple	Nov 13th, 2006 12:09:32 PM
Whatever.
One of the most overrated franchises in film history by IndustryKiller!	Nov 13th, 2006 12:09:34 PM
It seems to think that being self aware makes it funny or original when in fact it was already passe by the time the first film came out. Not to mention there are more pop culture references than a season of Family Guy which should make it about as dated as disco in about 10 years. And the voice acting.....Jesus. 16 years down the line and Mike Myers is STILL milking that annoying Scottish accent he came up with on SNL, if you still find that entertaining you probably have down syndrome. Ditto goes for Eddie Murphy who is once again just playing annoying, fast talking, sassy (aka boring) Eddie Murphy. And what is with the art direction? It completely lacks the fun character design and magical world construction that makes Pixar films so great in favor of frumpy and bland. It's just ugly to look at. Since the first film it's been completely beyond me that any self respecting movie fan can get through these films. And the third film loses points already considering the nepotism of Cameron Diaz getting her high pitched voiced boyfriend a lead role.
Steady on Jay Jay... by Ken Luxury Yacht	Nov 13th, 2006 12:11:06 PM
...we're in danger of entering a polite discourse on the subject of a kids movie, and that sort of thing just doesn't fly on these boards! (And good spot on the name, few get it!)
I never finished Shrek 1 and never saw Shrek 2 by triplefive	Nov 13th, 2006 12:13:19 PM
So I doubt I'll ever get around to see Shrek The Third. However, Shrek 4-D at Universal Studios is awesome.
I really NEVER say this, but... by Frijole	Nov 13th, 2006 12:27:20 PM
PLANT! Seriously, when your only complaint about the movie is actually a COMPLIMENT... you may as well sitting in a big 'ol solarium. "I wish there was less story and character development". That's like Spud in Trainspotting saying "I'm a bit of a perfectionist" when asked what his faults were by job services. Sheesh.
I cant stand Shrek by godzillasushi	Nov 13th, 2006 12:33:21 PM
and it never worked for me.
Shrek is Iraq and Donkey is Iran so... by Gus Van Rant	Nov 13th, 2006 12:37:59 PM
Shrek 3 is one big metaphor for the clusterfuck that is the world today...whatever...saw this was a popular topic in Spider Man 3, thought that it could work here. And oh yeah, anyone see the new Optimus Prime yet? Has flames, looks cool. Kudos Mr. Bay, kudos.
You're right Ken! by Jay Jay	Nov 13th, 2006 12:39:45 PM
I meant to say "BLOW IT OUT YOUR ASS! SHREK SUCKS BECAUSE I SAY SO. TOO SOON ETC." By the way, you can collect your nose at reception. LOL
I am tired of all this, "This is my first review" Crap by maceodkat	Nov 13th, 2006 12:44:22 PM
Cuz, right after they say that the line goes, "so I’m not gonna go into too many plot details". Than why the hell did you right into AICN. The movie is in 40% mode, nothing you say today is going to 100% accurate anyway, so cough up the nuggets, not the stink nuggts that Jay protects himself with my stuffing zig zag rolling papers stuffed between the wedge of his crack. i want the damn spoiler. i dont give too craps if i read the whole story in a review, hell if the movie is a book i'll most likely read it before the movie comes out. Why, cuz I enjoy knowing what a story is, so I can understand what i'm watching. Sure Shrek the third isnt going to have a big crying game type twist ending here, so just cough it up. We can all guess that whatever the animators have lined up for Shrek, the bottom line is that he lives, thrives, and will leave a huge door open for his big green ass to walk through for Shrek the fourth.
Damn you, Michael Bay!!!!!! by Squashua	Nov 13th, 2006 12:49:41 PM
Totally a plant. Direct to video.
Shrek raped my grandmother by zacdilone	Nov 13th, 2006 12:55:35 PM
So I'm not looking forward to this.
I don't really like Antonio Banderas. by DerLanghaarige	Nov 13th, 2006 01:16:47 PM
BUT PUSS IN BOOTS FUCKING RULES!!!!!!
I don't think that guy is a plant, because... by DerLanghaarige	Nov 13th, 2006 01:23:17 PM
...plants usually don't start their work more than a half year before the film gets released! Most of us will have forgotten the review, when the film hits the theatres, so it's more usefull for them to send their fake reviews a few weeks before it starts. But maybe they try something new.
Oh, and why aren't there any Donkey show jokes yet? by DerLanghaarige	Nov 13th, 2006 01:24:26 PM

why is it that when it comes to kids films... by Captain Katanga	Nov 13th, 2006 01:51:13 PM
...people go on and on about how Shrek is bad because it has in jokes and topical gags and will date. For god's sake, ditch this cliche that every kids film MUST be a timeless fairytale. Stop being so snobby. The fact is this: put Shrek 2 in front of a sell out crowd, and it WILL bring the house down.
wow I smell a Shrek fanboy in here by godzillasushi	Nov 13th, 2006 02:14:25 PM
shame.
3s a Crowd by bobinnova	Nov 13th, 2006 03:42:29 PM
Between Spidey 3 and Pirates 3, do we really need a Shrek 3 next Summer? You can already guarantee that Dreamworks will somehow tie in some cutesy Pirates/Spidey with Shrek trailer, as they can't come up with any original ideas (Far Far Away Idol anyone?) Mike Myers can't produce a third film in any franchise - Goldmember sucked, and thank God there was never a Waynes World 3.
hmmmm I think its time is done by misnomer	Nov 13th, 2006 04:35:05 PM
if I'm not mistaken theyre planing a fourth, with a puss in boots spin-off for 2010? jusus let it go. Liked the first one alot, sequel was okay, everything Ive heard of this new one sounds like, oh god not another one. It was better when there were less characters....
People like to rip on Shrek... by rbatty024	Nov 13th, 2006 04:40:25 PM
for all the pop-culture references, but it was relatively original when the first one came out. Now that just about every animated film and show has done the same thing, it has gotten a bit old to the point where the sequel seemed a bit tired. The focus on character and plot will hopefully be a good change of pace for the series.
May 17 is in the summer? by TheGoddamnSiege	Nov 13th, 2006 04:52:32 PM
Wow, I've been deceived all these years!
Shrek The Turd by Det. John Kimble	Nov 13th, 2006 05:08:28 PM
Had to be said, just in case.
Noted_Cineaste Mikey_Bay is God. by TomBodet	Nov 13th, 2006 05:12:29 PM
You know it to be true.
Mike Meyers is a joke now by slone13	Nov 13th, 2006 05:16:34 PM
Is it possible for him to make a movie WITHOUT that fucking annoying Scottish accent?????
Maybe it's just me... by slone13	Nov 13th, 2006 05:19:33 PM
...but wouldn't SHREK have actually been a funny movie if Chris Farley had been able to finish recording the voice before his death? I definitely think so.
Postmodern fantasy had it's 15 minutes of fame by The Pusher	Nov 13th, 2006 05:20:27 PM
Now, I'd love nothing more for it all to just go away.
Shrek plot by briantag	Nov 13th, 2006 05:41:41 PM
So lemme guess. Shrek's wife will have a baby named Shrek the Third, who will inherit the kingdom after all. Is that what's coming?
If Mike Myers had died after Waynes World he'd be a god by Kentucky Colonel	Nov 13th, 2006 06:26:42 PM
Now he's just annoying. Maybe's it's a good thing Jimi, Janis, Jim & John all checked out too early. No, strike that. I wish Jimi, Janis, Jim & John were still here today, even if they were hacks. God, anything is better than "Fergie-licious" or anything else in the top 10 these days (end old coot rant).
Uh... wouldn't Shrek's son be by Novaman5000	Nov 13th, 2006 06:31:00 PM
Shrek Junior? I think so.
The only thing worse than Shrek was it's imitators by LeFlambeur	Nov 13th, 2006 06:36:48 PM
American feature animation is dead. It's just dead. Absolutely drained of anything resembling artistry. Well, there's Pixar. (sigh)
In MCMLXXVI's defnese... by DOGSOUP	Nov 13th, 2006 07:08:51 PM
Damn you Michael Bay
Needs to be called 'Shrek 3' not 'The Third' by performingmonkey	Nov 13th, 2006 07:14:08 PM
A title like 'Shrek The Third' is way too taxing for a general audience to read before they fall asleep of fuck with their phones or ipods, I mean just look at what happened to 'Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest', no-one saw that movie because the length of the title and the lack of a '2' digit made their brain explode and they just sat lobotomized in front of something gay like The Break Up or The Ant Bully. What am I saying? Even I've lost all sense of what the fuck I'm trying to get across.....LOOK, all they need is Shrek's green fucking face on the promotion and it'll sell fucking shitloads whether it's the second sequel or the twentieth. That's why X3 made money even though it was a raped franchise and Kong didn't make money because no matter what it's an ape movie. I think Peter Jackson maybe counted on Jack Black getting the MTV crowd of douche cumgulletting fatherfuckers in to see his movie, and while Black gave a great performance the people just want to see him acting stupid, not playing a film guy and doing things more serious, and Naomi Watts wasn't a well-enough-known draw to make that extra buck. Shrek 3 is in theaters sometime next May, motherfucks. Buy a Happy Meal or they'll come around and shove it down your throat so the grease melts your boxers, you fucking gook cunts.
If Justin Timberlake is still in this, they must by slder78	Nov 13th, 2006 07:39:39 PM
burn all the prints, wipe all the hard drives, and start over.
Shrek sucked so badly. Really. Madagascar was funnier. by The Wrong Guy	Nov 13th, 2006 09:17:16 PM
If only for the maniacal penguins and Sacha Baron Cohen. But Shrek, Shrek had nothing going for it. "Oh, look, it's that scene out of The Matrix! Hi-larious!". Did not see Shrek 2.
The Shrek movies are WONDERFUL. by Osmosis Jones	Nov 13th, 2006 10:39:45 PM
Fuck the haters. And all those beloved Looney Tunes shorts are dated as hell with their archaic WWII references and celebrity caricatures. But they're STILL FUCKING FUNNY, and so will the Shrek movies in 50 years.
DOGSOUP and MCMLVVIICXSIAPJC are fucktards by Lamerz	Nov 13th, 2006 10:49:46 PM
Grow the fuck up...
King Kong by Chilli815	Nov 14th, 2006 02:55:24 AM
No, Jack Black wasn't good in King Kong. He was the same tired ass crap as always. Kinda like Shrek in that regard, as attempts to do something new turn out to be exactly the same as what they did previously.
Even worse than the first two? by JackPumpkinhead	Nov 14th, 2006 04:54:55 AM
Quite possible. "Shrek the turd, now even less funny!" - here's the tagline!
Shrek: The Turd?!!!! by DarfurOnTheRocks	Nov 14th, 2006 08:19:03 AM
Ok, bad pun....
Shrek II Did Not Bring Anything Fresh to the Table by DarfurOnTheRocks	Nov 14th, 2006 08:40:18 AM
I feel as if this franchise has gone the way of Austin Powers in that the sequels brought nothing new to the original concept.
a really early review of Shrek 4, 5, 6 by Spandau Belly	Nov 14th, 2006 08:41:41 AM
A collection of obvious pop culture references, popular music performed by washed up acts, and some silly moral about rispectin' yo self. Done.
Reason for the "Third"... by Cellar Door	Nov 14th, 2006 09:13:38 AM
Well of course they pull an Indy 3 and we'll see Shrek's dad..Shrek Sr. and then the baby will be the 3rd. Of course these types of movies are like cannonball farts in elevators with all the pop culture reference. I don't care if it's dated or not it reminds you this is a movie and I don't watch movies to go "Awesome...this is a movie."
Well, I didn't hate the first two by choptop	Nov 14th, 2006 10:04:55 AM
and my wife will prolly make me see this one, but I will base no opinion whatsoever on this obviously planted review. Hope the paycheck was nice.
If Dragon's not in this one I won't see it by rimshot	Nov 14th, 2006 10:51:55 AM
The second film had her in it at the very end but that's not enough for this Dragon lover. If she's not at least one of the sidekicks I'll pass on this. The Shrek style is getting boring enough as it is. I'm sick of the Disney-bashing and pop references in that franchise. Katzenberg should just get over his snit with Disney and move on already!

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A Way Early Review Of SHREK THE THIRD!!

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