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Vern Vs. The CHAOS DVD!!

hello first by Phategod1	Aug 27th, 2006 03:54:42 AM
hello first please dont strike
Wow by Ridge	Aug 27th, 2006 04:01:06 AM
In Chat you came in claiming this the best review ever... and damn it if you're not right. Jesus I hope these guys get sued to hell for this movie!!! The demons and amphetamines thing... roflmao!!! Next time I go past a rave I'll check in to see if Lord Diablo has taken shape yet...
BAN redfist by SnakesOnABicycle	Aug 27th, 2006 04:30:49 AM
Any ass-shit who hits refresh that many times to WHINE about not getting first, like it really got to him and ruined his night, and who has an annoying name like redfist, needs to get fucking banned. Hell, ban me for caring so much about such an annoying piece of fucking shit ass fuck! ... So long as you ban him first.
Friggin' hilarious... by Messiahman	Aug 27th, 2006 04:35:40 AM
Quite possibly the funniest review for any film I've ever read. But watch out Vern, as the Demon doesn't take criticism lightly. At an LA screening, he responded to heckles from the audience by shouting "Hey! You saw what was up there onscreen -- do you wanna see what I'm capable of?!" Needless to say, it was pathetic.
That was a pretty good review but... by thatpeterguy	Aug 27th, 2006 04:44:21 AM
without any blatant product placements it seemed a little hollow. But in all seriousness, that was a great review and I couldn't agree more. There's a difference between grossing your audience out and inducing fear through the acting, score, cinematography, and script. Any idiot can dream up some sick shit, slap a camera on a tripod and then go to work. Surrounding a snuff film with a plot does not a movie make.
Wait! by Mactor52	Aug 27th, 2006 04:58:28 AM
No mention of "The Virgin Spring"? The Bergman film that "Last House" ripped off directly and gave no credit to?
Vern you are genius by axemurder	Aug 27th, 2006 05:09:44 AM
godlike, I really like that review, very restrained for you! you are the best writer here at AICN n my opinion.
Anansi the Spider by mr jones	Aug 27th, 2006 05:10:27 AM
Damn if that wasn't the best bit. Vern - the man, the myth, the legend.
Agreed on "Anansi the Spider" by InsidePulse.com	Aug 27th, 2006 05:48:45 AM
made me laugh the hardest while reading.
In Ebert's Defense by jollysleeve	Aug 27th, 2006 05:54:10 AM
He did like the Devil's Rejects. Frankly, from the sound of this movie and the douchebags who made it, I'm siding with Ebert on this one.
And P.S. by jollysleeve	Aug 27th, 2006 06:27:12 AM
Pretty great review by Vern. His best? I don't know. He's written some real gems. ("Oh, you know, just Out For a Kill.")
PPS by jollysleeve	Aug 27th, 2006 06:28:30 AM
AICN's new search feature is useless.
funniest line...by far... by T-Pot25	Aug 27th, 2006 06:38:33 AM
"makes Jesus seem like kind of a dick in comparison"
Mactor52 by readingwriter	Aug 27th, 2006 06:53:52 AM
You stole my thunder. Someone complaining that Last House--a ripoff, oh, sorry, a "homage" to Virgin Spring--was ripped off is just too frickin funny for words. OK, now I'll go back and read beyond that gag-inducing line.
The demon!! by ShoulderDevil	Aug 27th, 2006 06:58:41 AM
see now someone needs to make a movie about this guy making this.
Very good stuff.. by TELF	Aug 27th, 2006 06:59:04 AM
I'm a Vern fan anyway, but I would like to see more stuff like this on the AICN. Reviews that set up a platform for debate. Anyway, Vern is spot-on that the correct perspective to view films from is not moral/amoral, but rather good/bad. And I would urge everyone to click on the links at the bottom and check out my fave Vern reviews (Domino and Brokeback) or his Craig R Baxley retrospective...
Hmmm, readingwriter/Mactor... by TELF	Aug 27th, 2006 07:03:05 AM
Fair enough. But do you get the impression that these Chaos genuises are even aware of Virgin Spring? They were clearly ripping off Last House. That's Vern's point. It's fun to score pedantic points I guess, but that one just made it seem like you hadn't read the whole article.
funniest line...by far... by T-Pot25	Aug 27th, 2006 07:06:19 AM
"makes Jesus seem like kind of a dick in comparison"
Agree with T-Pot25... by Tunza	Aug 27th, 2006 07:09:25 AM
...I went back and read that line several times out loud. I just about collapsed with laughter.
OK review by readingwriter	Aug 27th, 2006 07:10:13 AM
I might have thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread if you hadn't TOLD me it was before the review. Basically I'm getting this is a bad movie with egotistical weirdos behind the camera, ala every other damned movie. The description reminds me of those horror movies I occassionally rent thinking they'll be "gritty" when what they turn out to be is "shot on video". Some horror fans can't handle admitting that yeah, they just like watching women get hurt, painfully. The pretentiousness of the director is balloon-popped by his "THE DEMON!" self-adulation fanboy posturing--you can see he wants to be considered stone cold himself. But all in all, does this little pustule of a movie deserve all this anger? I can't work up too much anger when it seems that 90% of horror movies aren't about creating an eerie atmosphere or creating that pleasurable scary sensation in the audience, but about creating bloody and disgusting imagery.
Telf by readingwriter	Aug 27th, 2006 07:14:34 AM
You completely missed the point. The point is VERN didn't realize that Last House is itself a ripoff. His repeatedly bashing them for ripping off a movie is intended to show his awareness, but it's like attacking a movie for ripping off the plot without ever mentioning that Alien's plot is a ripoff of It! The Terror from Beyond Space. It's fun to score pedantic points I guess, but that one just made it seem like you didn't understand the freakin point, and are as ignorant of film history as Vern so obviously is, no offense to either of you. (And Alien is better than IT! but it did rip off its plot.)
I need sleep... by readingwriter	Aug 27th, 2006 07:16:14 AM
but it's like attacking a movie for ripping off the plot without ever mentioning that Alien's plot SHOULD READ but it's like attacking a movie for ripping off the plot of Alien without ever mentioning that Alien...
-----ZOMBIES------- by kidjingo	Aug 27th, 2006 07:39:40 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =Azo8heDmNoQ
GorePorn Takes No Talent Whatsoever by flamingrunt	Aug 27th, 2006 08:23:13 AM
I mean you could build suspense, unnerve people with lighting, music, characters. Build on peoples most basic fears and mentally freak them out. Or..... you could just do Goreporn. ANYONE could have made Hostel. Horror and porn always attract the worst directors because theyre the easiest films to do. you just show some tits or someone being killed. Comedies, thrillers, dramas...they require a modicum of talent. But anyone can do Goreporn and thats why everyone hates it. Its lazy and its sloppy and only 14 year old mentally "challenged" people like it
Vern is an AICN treasure. by Nordling	Aug 27th, 2006 08:31:25 AM
Way to knock it out of the park. I don't even need to see this now. Not like I was planning to, but this review's so thorough that I'll have no need to even touch the box on the DVD rack. Does the guy really go apeshit at the LA coroner's? They should have shown the guy going into the gift shop (yes, the LA county coroner's actually has one) and buying a t-shirt to proclaim just how bad-ass he was.
readingwriter... by TELF	Aug 27th, 2006 08:43:39 AM
Obviously I understood your point. All I was saying is that it wasn't a valid criticism. The makers of Chaos were clearly attempting to rip Last House (specifically, not in a general homage), they even wanted to hire an original cast member. That they refuse to acknowledge their theft and then make out like they are pushing the boundaries of horror film-making is not made more or less funny/damning by the fact that they themselves are unaware that their source film is itself a rip off. It's an ironic observation, sure, but it doesn't negate Vern's point.
Vern: I think someone mentioned this before, by CreasyBear	Aug 27th, 2006 08:53:56 AM
but why don't you get the majestic black box when you join a talkback? Not paying your AICN union dues or something? Or are you still in some form of initiation / hazing phase?
I never really liked Last House On the Left... by rbatty024	Aug 27th, 2006 09:18:44 AM
but at least I could see what West Craven was trying to do. And while it was an inferior film to The Virgin Spring, the timing of the remake at least makes sense. This sounds like shit, although the extras sound fucking hilarious. Great review.
Vern, your dismissal of "torture porn" debate... by PhilConnors	Aug 27th, 2006 09:41:49 AM
...makes no sense. "Since you're not into it, you can't comment on it." What? By that rationale, we'd have to tolerate ALL forms of porn. Sorry, but I think that there are a lot of sickos who get off on all sorts sick shit, and we as a society have a responsibility to condemn it and try to limit it as much as possible.
I liked the Ingmar Bergman version of this movie. by johnnyangel	Aug 27th, 2006 09:46:09 AM
'The Virgin Spring'. Now that was a great movie with an incredible emotional payoff at the end. Those dumbasses should have ripped it off. Oh, and Vern, you're blowing your cover. That review was way too professional. People are going to realize that you're not just some idiot who likes B movies, but an intelligent and thoughtful analyst of Cinema who likes B movies.
Oooopppps by johnnyangel	Aug 27th, 2006 09:55:37 AM
I should have read the other talkbacks before posting. I just ripped off twenty other posters who mentioned 'The Virgin Spring' first. And hey guys, I'm betting Vern has seen 'The Virgin Spring', but it would be blowing his cover to admit it.
The purpose of this review was to educate and, perhaps by JohnGalt06	Aug 27th, 2006 10:20:52 AM
save lives. Very, very funny.
The funniest line? by johnnyangel	Aug 27th, 2006 10:29:50 AM
I mean I don't like to throw around words and phrases like "hero" or "the new Gandhi" or "makes Jesus seem like kind of a dick in comparison," but Steven Jay Bernheim has earned all those labels with his work on this film, it sounds like, the way he tells it.
It kind of pisses one off that a movie like that by I Dunno	Aug 27th, 2006 10:41:17 AM
can even get made and get a DVD release (was it also in wide release theatrically?) and there are filmmakers with actual talent or at least a story to tell who can't their films even shot.
The Virgin Spring, and one nice thing I can say by Vern	Aug 27th, 2006 10:53:05 AM
First of all Readingwriter, I do know that Last House was based on The Virgin Spring. The reason I know this is because Wes Craven talks about it constantly, including on the commentary track for the movie. Believe it or not I originally discussed that in this review but I cut it out because I was worried Tom Bodet would tell me my review was too long. (Whoops.) But Telf is right, this is specifically based on Last House on the Left. I do think the producer at least is aware of Virgin Spring, which is why he said that thing I quoted about folklore and mythology, but he didn't want to name Virgin Spring because that was too close to naming Last House. Anyway, they weren't remaking Virgin Spring, they were remaking Last House, right down to the chain saw, like I said. Just like if you remade Magnificent Seven with cowboys that doesn't mean it's exactly Seven Samurai. Anyway, I wanted to say one positive thing about Chaos that I forgot to mention. It has no score, which was actually a good artistic decision.
The line that did it for me by MartinBlank	Aug 27th, 2006 11:01:54 AM
"But Craven's biceps are much smaller than DeFalco's, he always wears a shirt, and he never went into a morgue and flexed his muscles, yelling shit about demons." I totally lost it. Vern rocks.
Give this man a Black-Post Box ! by Mr Nice Gaius	Aug 27th, 2006 11:02:13 AM
That coroner bit is priceless. However, his theory about meth is not as unique as it may seem. I've heard & read other stuff where folks have essentially stated the same thing about drugs in general. It's the idea that someone is so far gone due to drug/alchohol abuse that they open the door for "others". These "others" can be described as distinct personalities that manifest themselves at different times for different reasons. Whether or not they are "demons" is open for debate. But I think it's more about the idea of slipping from reality which results in the creation of artificial coping mechanisms. -- As for the film Chaos = no thanks, cocksuckers.
kind've a repetitive review, no? by chickychow	Aug 27th, 2006 11:16:02 AM
maybe Vern is actually WesCraven's son or something... and if anything, this review makes me want to rent the dvd so i can see those extras for myself. bit of a counterproductive move, going on in great detail about the many humorous attributes to a dvd u apparently dont want anyone to see.
Vern by John Dalmas	Aug 27th, 2006 11:26:35 AM
I was skeptical, but that really was the best review anyone has ever written for a movie.
I'm totally against torture-porn. by Jar Jar 4 Prez	Aug 27th, 2006 11:30:43 AM
Porn-torture on the other hand--I'm totally into that.
the family meeting where mom and dad sit down little Su by AppleBalls	Aug 27th, 2006 11:39:55 AM
Was awesome. Great review. I haven't seen a movie with a wrestler that I've liked yet...hopefully the rock can pull it off in southland tales...
Hey Anchorite by brokebackcowboy	Aug 27th, 2006 11:53:17 AM
I agree - this review is a loooong one and I'm about to print it out for some subway reading. Laterz.
I'm not crazy about realistic slasher pics by brokebackcowboy	Aug 27th, 2006 11:55:35 AM
After watching Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, I kinda soured on the genre. The cruelty seems kinda artless to me.
RE: "Whether or not they are demons is open for debate" by I Dunno	Aug 27th, 2006 11:59:09 AM
No it isn't. It's your brain malfunctioning or being re-wired because it's trying to handle shit it shouldn't have to be handling. No demons necessary.
Vern, you forgot to mention that they also ripped off by Frank The Rabbit	Aug 27th, 2006 12:11:59 PM
the marketing campain of Last House on the Left!! CHECK OUT THE POSTER: http://www.bloody-disgusting.c om/gallery/photodir2.php?photo file=875/poster.jpg
Vern, you forgot to mention that they also ripped off by Frank The Rabbit	Aug 27th, 2006 12:13:42 PM
the marketing campain of Last House on the Left!! CHECK OUT THE POSTER: http://www.bloody-disgusting.c om/gallery/photodir2.php?photo file=875/poster.jpg Check out the lower right-hand corner!!!
A funny story... by Kasch	Aug 27th, 2006 12:22:16 PM
From Roger Ebert's website: "Dear Roger Ebert: I'm a journalist and fellow critic for the horror-themed website Dread Central. I noticed your write-up on the film
Messiahman, my answer to DeFalco's audience outburst... by Lenny Nero	Aug 27th, 2006 12:27:30 PM
"What, make a bad movie?"
LHOTL=Straw Dogs- Give mea break by Lovecraftfan	Aug 27th, 2006 12:43:40 PM
SDtraw Dogs was a masterpiece of building tension, great characters, and fantastic editing. LHOTL was a film devoid of anything interesting to look and no characters to get remotely interested in. Its not a tough film to sit through its boring and more specifically its trash. Worst comparision ever.
I Dunno by Mr Nice Gaius	Aug 27th, 2006 12:43:53 PM
Fair enough, I suppose. But don't ask an addict that when he has just had a 12 hour debate with Akraz from the 6th Circle of Hell. ;)
DIARRHEA! by topaz4206	Aug 27th, 2006 01:02:27 PM
My goodness, did anyone actually read those 3000-odd words? This review was longer than the Chaos script. So, this movie is in the spirit of the old Japanese "Guinea Pig" series. That's all you have to say! Either you're into that, or you aren't. I had a hard-on throughout "Flower of Flesh and Blood" so I think I'll at least be renting this. And Moriarty, can you just tell us the funny line? I bailed on this 1500 words in.
I dunno_V2.1 by down_under_soth	Aug 27th, 2006 01:08:35 PM
fish....thats right fish, is the right answer...... Its not what you know my friend, its who.
There's one thing keeping this review being less than by chrth	Aug 27th, 2006 01:22:54 PM
perfect. And that's a review by Harry where he tells us he loves the film (in his graphic style). Contradicting Capone is nowhere as near as much fun.
And now you're reviewing it - by GuyLombardo	Aug 27th, 2006 02:05:59 PM
Aren't there better movies out there to review? I never even heard of this film until now - so your anti-promotion has worked in these crap-dealers favor. And CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST is a great movie, without it there would have been no Blair Witch (which sucked but I know a lot of you egg salads here went bonkers over). The people who made this movie must have pissed off someone here, cause this is one long ass bashing review.
Waingro! by Lou C.	Aug 27th, 2006 02:13:23 PM
Just thought it warranted mentioning. Kevin Gage was Waingro in Heat. So, he was good in another movie. The guys that made this flick seem like a couple of arrogant douchebags. I'll skip.
"some dudes buttfucking a corpse"... by Alonzo Mosely	Aug 27th, 2006 02:22:34 PM
In a just world this would be the new AICN catchphrase...
A snippet from the "crypt" by Stupid Alias	Aug 27th, 2006 02:39:17 PM
Words can't do it justice: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =jGGhZUI6DbE Proof enough that no-one should take this f*ck even remotely serious...
long by Vern	Aug 27th, 2006 03:24:25 PM
Yes, it's long. That's what I do. That's MY REALITY, Roger Ebert. But also, this is a combination dvd review and essay about "controversial" horror movies. My original title which was left off (because it was too long for you fellas, probaly) was "Vern on the CHAOS dvd, the age old torture porn debate, and what happens when a pro-wrestler runs loose in the L.A. County Coroner's Office." If you don't want to read the thing, that's life. But maybe I could politely suggest getting off my balls and going to do whatever awesome thing it is you'd rather do than read a long, in-depth essay. p.s. From now until my next review I will spend all my free time writing talkbacks about which reviews are too short. thanks.
Hey Vern by fiester	Aug 27th, 2006 03:45:10 PM
"Last House on The Left" is a remake of Bergman's "The Virgin Spring" which is based on a very, very old folk tale, so don't get you're panties in a bunch about it.
Don't let 'em get you down Vern by PMonkeyReclaimed	Aug 27th, 2006 03:49:19 PM
Most of us loved the review. The people who claim that it is too long are the same people who think books are for "smarties" and essays are only good for writing if you are in school. Keep up the good work. Keep it interesting.
Short Attention Span Theatre anyone? by johnnyangel	Aug 27th, 2006 03:55:00 PM
Vern's review wasn't too long. Maybe some of you need to up your dosage of ritalin.
great job vern! by Flux_brown	Aug 27th, 2006 03:58:16 PM
great review! that defalco dude sounds pretty fucked up...
"calling out Roger Ebert like Macho-Man Randy Savage" by zikade zarathos	Aug 27th, 2006 04:01:50 PM
is the best part. I was dying. And it's not too long for God's sake. I know a lot of you have such busy lives that spending ten minutes to read something will seriously cramp your style, but give it a rest.
Gore Porn - the horror we deserve by Larry of Arabia	Aug 27th, 2006 04:37:06 PM
Great horror preys on fears of the time. At the turn of the century we were afraid of the old supernatural stories ("Dracula") and melded them with technology to create "Frankenstien." In the 50's we were afraid of unsean communists among us, hence "The Thing From Another World." The 60's brought us Armegeddon fears, so we were graces with many end of the world films. The 70's had the Vietnam era gritty cycle of retribution horror of "Last House on the Left." The 80's gave us the serial killer fad lifted from sensationalist local news stories. Currently our horror stems from torture. These movies went into development around the time of Gitmo and Abu Graib. The unsaid fear is that if our government, whom we thought above this, can torture what's to stop it from happening to any of us? If you want a great, nongory torture film check out "Hard Candy." Confess? Is he innocent? Is it justified?
Gore Porn by Larry of Arabia	Aug 27th, 2006 04:37:56 PM
Great, now I keep pictureing Tipper and Al gettin busy with some global warming. Why can't I picture their hot kids?
The coroner by werideatdusk	Aug 27th, 2006 05:01:23 PM
Definitely the most hilarious thing in the review, and it was just a quote from the DVD. Glad to know it wasn't the official position of Los Angeles County.
Clarification by TheRealCapone	Aug 27th, 2006 05:01:25 PM
Not to take away from Vern's fantastic analysis of the CHAOS DVD in any way, but since he called me out specifically as someone who "bought into" the filmmaker's claim that CHAOS acts as some sort of cautionary tale, I feel the need to respond. First off, if you read my review, I very clearly state that I was "almost convinced" at the film's claim that it was cautionary tale. That's not the same thing as being wholly convinced. I actually think my review was more of a cautionary tale than the film was. Having said that, I can't imagine a woman or somebody's parents watching this and not being completely freaked out if she ever found herself in the woods alone. After my review ran, I did find myself being something of an apologist for the film, a fact Roger Ebert even pointed out in his extremely well-written, zero-star review of CHAOS. The film had one very simple goal: to upset and disgust the viewer. And on that level, it succeeds. I'll confess, I never had much exposure to "torture porn" films growing up, so I watched CHAOS completed unprepared for the level of degradation these characters enter into. The film moved me in all the wrong ways, but it did move me. The fact that it may or may not be a rip off of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT (of course it is) doesn't really change that. What strikes me as particularly funny about Vern's write-up is that despite his opening statement about never wanting anyone to see this film, he makes a strong case to see it by writing and analyzing so extensively what he categorizes as a terrible movie. I had no intention of buying or even renting this DVD (even though apparently I'm mentioned in the extras), but after reading about all of these insane documentaries, I have to see it. Vern's comments about Sage Stallone's relationship to this film are dead on. He mentioned a very tense panel discussion on CHAOS at a horror film convention, and that's exactly how I would qualify it. I was moderating that panel, so image how fucked up it was trying to keep Sage (who showed up late to the panel, by the way) and the filmmakers from ripping each other's heads off. I spent a great deal of that weekend in Chicago (during the annual Flashback Weekend Convention) talking with both Sage and CHAOS director David DeFalco about the film and many other things, and it was one of the most bizarre conventions I've ever been a part of. If it's possible to like a film but still not recommend that anybody else see it, that's how I feel about CHAOS. The potential for losing faith in humanity is too great if you watch this movie. The fact that we're talking about CHAOS this much is probably unnecessary, but I'll admit, I can't wait to see what DeFalco steals, borrows, or dreams up next. --Capone
I can't wait by AshleyMonday	Aug 27th, 2006 05:38:37 PM
for this horrid piece of crap so I can not go see it.
Hey Vern by blackwood	Aug 27th, 2006 06:11:50 PM
applause
I saw Shaggydog... by Womb2dooM	Aug 27th, 2006 06:50:18 PM
...with Tim Allen and it had text at the beginning that offered this movie as a service for if ever you, or someone you loved, turned into a shaggy dog. I beileve a similar text appeared before the Santa Claus. Let us also spare a thought for those patrons whom after seeing The Rock, failed to heed it's warnings and went to Alcatraz Island with 16 rockets containing VX posion gas and were shot by Sean Connery. One minutes silence with not posts if you please........................ .............................. .............................. ............
Vern by readingwriter	Aug 27th, 2006 07:23:11 PM
Understood about Virgin Spring, and my last mention of that will be it would have made for a truly great review (and would have fit in with your larger points about "gore porn") if you had put VS into the mix. If this movie is the bottom of the barrel, compare it with Last House, which was considered the bottom of the barrel in its day, with VS, considered an art film classic. VS offers an illustration of the revenge-seeking parent killing someone who might not deserve it--how does that compare to the less arty movies' "cautionary" angles? I just think it was a missed opportunity, since these movies birthed each other and are very different from each other. I cna imagine some fan of horror films writing a piece like yours about Last House back in its day--while I think it still has something of the gutter about it now, it's an old movie, and has lost some of the impact it once had. Also, your mention of there being no score is interesting. I love film music but having no music can be powerful in a horror flick--a lot of horror flicks use music to cover their ridiculous scenarios. The very best horror flicks--Session 9, Psycho, The Shining, Alien--COULD hold up without music, but their scores add something that otherwise wouldn't be there. I can't imagine some of the horror garbage of the last two decades without scores helping them along. I think the audiences would be laughing at most of them.
For me... by Drworm2002	Aug 27th, 2006 08:06:55 PM
Jeepers Creepers was teh worst movie I ahve ever seen. I don't want to see this, so i can still say that "Jeepers Creepers was the worst movie I ahve ever seen."
Vern thinks. by Dollar Bird	Aug 27th, 2006 08:19:15 PM
Vern: Thanks for that. I love your longer reviews because they have more laffs and also tend to be significantly more contemplative than other reviews on this site. (e.g., your review/recommendation of "The Boondocks") I wish there was more of that high-thinkin' on AICN. And it's especially nice when it causes interesting discussion on the TBs beyond "New Megatron is ugly." (Though he is.) [Sadly, I am not a fan or hater of goreporn, so I can't make one of those heady comments. But I am a fan of Vern and had to testify.]
to Capone by Vern	Aug 27th, 2006 08:40:09 PM
You're right Capone, sorry to mis-characterize your review there. Maybe I should've said that you "almost bought into" the cautionary tale thing. I liked your review and didn't mean to give you a bad name or anything, you must have enough trouble as it is trying to make up for everything that Al Capone prick did in your name. Anyway thanks for the clarification and further details. I'm glad you survived that panel. I read about it on some horror web sight and the guy said it was the most uncomfortable panel discussion he'd ever seen. I mean I don't know how many uncomfortable panels he'd seen but I can imagine this would be high up on anybody's list. thanks again, Capone.
Readingwriter by Vern	Aug 27th, 2006 08:42:20 PM
That's a good point, that would be interesting. Unfortunately I haven't seen Virgin Spring, I just know of it because of Last House. But you're right, that would be interesting, and I ought to see that movie anyway. So I'll see it some time soon and review it and probaly compare it to the other two. thanks bud.
I'll say it again. by jollysleeve	Aug 27th, 2006 08:52:43 PM
AICN's new search engine is fucking useless. All this talk of Vern got me thinking of some of his previous reviews. I thought I'd read a couple of the classics, but I'll be goddamned if I can figure out how to get the search engine to cough up less than a zillion results at a time. Really. Type in more than one word into that friggin' thing and you'll be lucky to get less than a thousand results. Quotes don't seem to matter. There's no "refine" option....... I also like how you can specify the date range. That really helps, thanks. Because that's how I remember these articles. Not by words, reviewer name, movie titles or subject matter--but the numerical dates on which they were posted. That's how my brain works. Maybe you could improve the search engine further by having it ask the searcher if the article they're looking for has an odd or even number of vowels in it.
Thanks Vern, for saving me from this piece of shit. by Billyeveryteen	Aug 27th, 2006 09:01:03 PM
And put me into the "Porn-Torture" camp.
Thanks Vern. I will use this information to save life. by Laserbrain	Aug 27th, 2006 09:05:41 PM
90 minutes or so of my own.
Check the youtube link posted above- by Laserbrain	Aug 27th, 2006 09:12:20 PM
""I am the Lord Humongous...director of the most brutal film of all time... give up the fuel and I will spare you lives...."
i agree about the goddamned engine!!! by occula	Aug 27th, 2006 10:56:43 PM
is there some fucking secret handshake to get the thing to actually find the one single review i might want to read? otherwise, i could care less about this movie, but i will still read every word vern writes!
Give Vern the goddamn black box already. by Gilkuliehe	Aug 27th, 2006 11:44:26 PM
The man has earned it, damnit.
Yeah, give Vern the black box... by ScarranHalfBreed	Aug 28th, 2006 01:10:49 AM
How many reviews has a guy got to write to get one, fer Chrissakes? He's the most entertaining reviewer on this site and has regular contributions. HARRY - ARE YOU LISTENING??
Demon Dave V.S. Vern by Demon Dave	Aug 28th, 2006 01:28:01 AM
Firstly, where the fuck do you get off going on a tirade accusing us of ripping off "Last House On the Left"? That movie is almost forty years old and isn't an original story anyway. Maybe, you should watch the fuckin' extra on the DVD where Wes Craven admits he took the story from "The Virgin Spring". My original intent was to do an homage to "Last House". If I was going to rip it off, do you think I would have hired Marc Sheffler to co-produce it? You have the balls to write a novel of a review without even getting your facts straight. Like the one about Sage Stallone wanting to quit when David Hess got fired. Bernheim fired Hess and yes, ME and Sage were very upset about it. But, never did Sage once try to get out of doing the movie. He loves sick, brutal movies and he loved being in Chaos. So, you really should get your facts straight before you go shooting off your mouth. Which leads me to the next problem. In your review you refer to me as a dipshit and a chump and you go on to make fun of what I said in the coroner's crypt. And that is where I draw the line, pal. You're a fuckin' critic and are entitled to your opinion about the fuckin' movie but that's where it ends. You are not going to talk shit and make fun of me and get away with it. Why don't you get into the ring and do it to my face? The thing I hate the most about the internet is that a pussy like you can talk shit about a guy like me and not have to answer to it. I dare you to do it to my face, Vern. In fact, if you can survive in the ring for more that 60 seconds with me, I will never direct another movie again. If you can't, then you can stick the review up your ass. What do you say, Vern? Why don't you show everyone that you're not another pencil pushing wimp and you can back up your big mouth. Now let's see if you got the balls to reply. David "the Demon" DeFalco (director of CHAOS)
heres some info on the panel by BitterMan23	Aug 28th, 2006 01:28:19 AM
http://rottenzombie.com/archiv e/reviews/fbwchaos.htm LOL, good stuff.
Actually, DemonDave... by TheRealMoriarty	Aug 28th, 2006 02:21:03 AM
... you're ripping off Uwe Boll's "meet me in the ring because I want to beat up a movie critic who made fun of me" shtick now. Is there anything you do that's original?
I hope that threat is real... by Nine18Pictures	Aug 28th, 2006 02:22:39 AM
...because I want in on the action. I had to sit through that piece of horsecock that is The Backlot Murders, and I swore then that if I had a chance, I would engage in a knife fight with the "director." Now that I know he's a closet nancy who wear tights and sports monster contact lenses, I KNOW I must do battle. "You know what I'm capable of!!" LOLOLOL
So... by jollysleeve	Aug 28th, 2006 02:29:18 AM
I guess if Vern got in the ring with Demon Dave and couldn't "survive" in a cage match that would somehow disprove his opinions on the movie? What are you, Uwe Boll?...... And thus dies any vague hopes that what was presented through the movie and DVD extras was some kind of tongue-in-cheek, subversive Andy Kaufmanesque put-on.
By The Way... by TheRealMoriarty	Aug 28th, 2006 02:35:30 AM
... I can verify that it was indeed David "The Demon" DeFalco that posted the above talkback challenge. Sad, ain't it?
DemonDave is a dipshit by Tunza	Aug 28th, 2006 02:45:47 AM
Boo fucking hoo, so yet another critic didn't like your bullshit movie. You gonna fight them all? And me too? Grow a fucking sense of humour, bitch.
that is where I draw the line by Thunder Mammoth	Aug 28th, 2006 02:46:53 AM
this is too freakin funny! --- "In your review you refer to me as a dipshit and a chump and you go on to make fun of what I said in the coroner's crypt. And that is where I draw the line, pal." - wow, vern... and to think, growing up with a budding interest in film has led to this?!? i can't stop laughing.
The Coroner's Crypt!! by Nine18Pictures	Aug 28th, 2006 02:57:17 AM
HAHAHA! That is hilarious. "In your review you refer to me as a dipshit and a chump and you go on to make fun of what I said in the coroner's crypt." Hey, Spooky, you should start making wrestling comedies! That could be THE line of the trailer! You could make a rip-off of No Holds Barred, with yourself as Zeus! Why not, you got the banana hammock for it! Perhaps you could add a bit about being born of REAL DEMON DNA! Which would explain the 10 dollar contact lenses! Congrats, DeFalco, for I have a hunch you and your above retort will be the newest running AICN joke. See you in the Coroner's Crypt!
If "piling on" is the order of the day in H'wood, by Julius Dithers	Aug 28th, 2006 03:16:16 AM

Hey Demon Dave... by Messiahman	Aug 28th, 2006 03:20:10 AM
Why don't you do us all a favor and skip the whole "facing off against Vern in the ring" bit and skip straight to never making another movie again. You're nothing but an lame plagiarist hack with a penchant for steroids and an empty spot where your brain should be. Carp all you want about Craven paying homage to Bergman's VIRGIN SPRING -- that's quite a different animal than blatantly stealing from someone else's work, which is exactly what you did, almost note for note. Newsflash, Dave - you're not the next coming of horror. You're just a no-talent, musclebound retard who's too stupid to realize what a joke you are. Now why don't you go back to doing what you do best; namely, admiring yourself in the mirror at Bally's and wishing you could find your dick.
If "piling on" is the order of the day in H'wood, by Julius Dithers	Aug 28th, 2006 03:21:51 AM
Defalco, you're about to be buried under an avalanche of invective and vitriol in this talkback. Which you'd deserve. Too bad it'd just give you more publicity than you deserve. Moron.
"NY-ARGH! DeFalco Smash!" by Kasch	Aug 28th, 2006 03:35:24 AM
"Firstly, where the fuck do you get off going on a tirade accusing us of ripping off Last House On the Left?" Er...maybe he did it because it's a SCENE-FOR-SCENE copy? Hell, Craven's film is at least somewhat different from Virgin Spring. Don't copy another screenplay and get all surprised when people call you on it. You also shouldn't be surprised when you put on some cheesy "I'm a Demon" wrestler shtick and act all shocked when people call you a douche. Make your movies, stop the poser bullshit, and learn to accept criticism. Shouting "I could kick yer ass" only completes your failure.
And by the way, it's official... by Messiahman	Aug 28th, 2006 04:15:18 AM
This guy will now and forever be known as David "The Dipshit" DeFalco.
I guess by DonnieDorko	Aug 28th, 2006 04:16:24 AM
If "Demon Dave" would kill Vern, it would make the movie better and smarter? Great review though but I do feel I have to DL this turd after the idiot posted here. Maybe I can fastforward thrue it and get some laughs then I will Warn everyone I know not to pay any money for this movie. "I MADE MOVIE AGAINST VIOLENCE! YOU DON'T GET IT!? I KILL YOU MORONS! AAAAARGGH!"
The Coroner's Crypt? by awe4one	Aug 28th, 2006 04:27:03 AM
Based on the "inventiveness" of the movie "rape" makes you wonder what really goes on with Dave and his buddy in the "Crypt"? Great review Vern!
FUCK POKEMON DAVE by meta4	Aug 28th, 2006 07:05:17 AM
Fuck that guy, seriously vern just tear the little bitches head off and piss down his throat for creating "Last House On The Left 2: Trapped In The Closet"....Since the dudes an obvious hack movie stealer he probably photoshopped the face off a wrestler and put his face in place of it....fuck pokemon dave
Trash the movies, not the extra features? by BitterMan23	Aug 28th, 2006 10:11:27 AM
I guess thats the REAL lesson we have learned from this film. its an after school special for film students, not idiotic teenaged girls. Now if you'll excuse me, I must write a letter of apology to the guy who created "storyboard comparisons".
I would totally watch that movie by BankyFan	Aug 28th, 2006 10:19:16 AM
Where a young Ain't It Cool Reporter is trained by Steven Seagal to fight the shit out of some awful director.
Hey David THE DIPSHIT DeFalco. by Gilkuliehe	Aug 28th, 2006 10:32:19 AM
Listen to me, pal. You don't come to OUR house and pull that Hulk Hogan Neanderthal I-can't-have-an-argument-s o-I'll-put-up-a-fight crap. Who the fuck do you think you are, sir? Not only do you make a crappy as crap piece of crap movie, but you have the nerv to come here and threaten our beloved Vern? I really mean this: FUCK YOU. I can't believe how mad I am at this poor excuse of a human being. I'm really sorry your dad had a boner that day he decided to bang your mom. Seriously, couldn't the guy wear a rubber? That's it mister Dipshit, a geek on the Internet has just wished your father wore a condom the day he had sexual intercourse with your mother, resulting on your highly unevolved existence. Now go kill yourself. Dipshit.
Wow. by Avenger534	Aug 28th, 2006 10:41:19 AM
That's all I can say. First the review, then the talkback. Sooooo glad I checked this post. Only at AICN, folks...
Vern: Ain't this some shit? by FatPaul	Aug 28th, 2006 10:58:08 AM
Great review, Vern. Some of your best work. I'm really looking forward to your review of Virgin Spring, which is one of my favorite Bergman films. Now, as far as this Demon Dave thing, I have to throw in my vote for "tear the little bitches head off and piss down his throat." Now, I know you're a man of peace, Vern, but the guy's just asking to get a chunk bit off his face. Anyway, I'm looking forward to whatever your response is going to be, and if you ever do put together a book of all the shit you get into in talkbacks, this is definitely some prime material.
According to imdb: by DonnieDorko	Aug 28th, 2006 11:13:26 AM
Also Known As: The House in the Middle of Nowhere (USA) (working title) LOL.... Why not "The last House to the Left of Nowhere"?
What wrestling promotion has this guy worked for? by vikingkitty	Aug 28th, 2006 11:34:36 AM
I'm curious about his work in the ring.
Great Review Vern by SnowMann	Aug 28th, 2006 11:43:15 AM
Once again you prove you are the best contributor to this site and as far as I'm concerned the best film critic on the internet. I wonder if "Demon Dave" realizes he just added to the credibility of your review or not? Must be new to this whole internet thing...
"And that is where I draw the line, pal." by vikingkitty	Aug 28th, 2006 11:43:26 AM
Sure, you can say a movie is a blatant rip-off of better films. You can state the director has no talent, and should be sterilized for the good of the species. But don't dare mock a man who walks around in a government facility (shirtless and wearing a chain, mind you) talking about the demon's playground and discussing how he has just made the most brutal film of all time. At that point, you've crossed the line.
Hommage, ripoff, methinks by elric300	Aug 28th, 2006 11:47:44 AM
Allow me to post a link to the following image, easily found on the CHAOS page at the IMDB: http://ia.imdb.com/media/imdb/ 01/I/39/58/19f.jpg Here's the first sentence from Variety's review, in case anyone thinks Vern got it wrong: "A virtual photocopy of Wes Craven's "Last House on the Left" for the techno generation, "Chaos" The rest is at Variety's site. Who are YOU, Mr. DeFalco to think that your antics are actually going to win you anything but derision from horror fans? Most of us can smell B.S. coming from a mile away. We put up with it when it's harmless ballyhoo and it's all in good fun. But when it's steroid addled "machismo", when it's some half arsed attempt to cover up for one's own current inadaquencies as a filmmaker...then you have no one to blame but your own self when horror fans lay some verbal smackdown upon you. Your reactions are very unprofessional and not really indicative of someone with an interest in advancing a career in film. Last I checked, deals weren't brokered with a ring match, so I hope you find yourself a good agent with better communication skills then you seem to possess. Vern,that was one of the best reviews/commentary I have ever had the pleasure to read. You are a gentlemen and a scholar,Sir, and if I should ever be able to meet with you in person one day, I shall be honoured to buy you a drink and a toast.
How many careers have been ended by this one review? by vikingkitty	Aug 28th, 2006 11:49:56 AM
Demon Dave will be put out of his misery as a mercy killing. This coroner (Cormier) will be lucky if he's allowed to sweep the floors of the coroner's office after word of this embarrasing fiasco gets more publicity (I can't imagine the L.A. County Coroner's Office gave permission for this filming inside their facility; I suspect Cormier probably made this executive decision on his own). I'll assume no one in the picture will ever work in any legitimate capacity; am I missing anyone?
"He's laughing! because he's EVIL." by El Scorcho	Aug 28th, 2006 12:50:12 PM
Thanks Vern. And to DEMON DIPSHIT DAVE. FUCK YOU. You claim you've made a movie against violence and then you physically threaten an internet reviewer just because he (successfully) tore you a new one? I feel sorry for you because it's obvious that all you have going for ya is brute strength which clearly tops off small genitalia. I hear that being a gorilla trainer pays well. Plus, you get to live with the gorillas, challenge them to fights any hour of the day, and eat shit out of your chest hair. Sounds like a good match for you. Have a nice one dipshit.
Let's not forget Bernheim. He sucks too! by Kasch	Aug 28th, 2006 01:29:03 PM
OK, by now everyone realizes that DeFalco's head is full of bricks. But let's not forget producer Stephen Jay Bernheim. He's every bit as responsible for this lousy piece of shit, and when you see the two men together, it's almost as if DeFalco's his bitch. There's a reason these two men are joined at the hip: Bernheim articulates the kind of excusitory bullshit that DeFalco is too dumb to dish out. Do you think "The Demon" wrote that letter to Ebert? Nope. (I dunno if the guy could actually write.)
to Dave by Vern	Aug 28th, 2006 01:35:25 PM
Dear Dave, I regret to inform you that I will not be attending your wrestling challenge that would have proven that CHAOS is not a ripoff of LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. I think I have to wash my hair that day or something. Seriously bud, welcome to the talkbacks and thanks for your response. That was actually a good move challenging me to wrestle. Moriarty says it's a remake of Uwe Bolle's boxing challenge, but I think both have their roots in folklore and legends. Anyway, I can't say I'm interested in getting beat up by a muscleman (even if I get a good nose bite in or something). It would set a precedent where all critics now have to wrestle somebody every time they write a harsh review. I don't want to see Michael Bay suplexing Roger Ebert knowing it's my fault. So I gotta turn you down like you knew I would and shave some points off my precious tough guy reputation, as well as crush the illusions of any readers who for some reason assumed I was good at wrestling. So you got me bud, touche. Now I wish you would apply some of that cunning to your movies. Speaking of which, let me respond to your non-wrestling related points. First of all, come on bud. I'm not retarded. Am I supposed to believe that you actually based CHAOS on a Swedish folk tale, and coincidentally it came out exactly like LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT but with different rapes and a corny ending? OF COURSE it's based on LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT. If you had said that from the beginning you wouldn't have had such a harsh reaction I don't think. As you said, Wes Craven openly talks about LAST HOUSE being based on VIRGIN SPRING. And maybe somebody here could verify but I'm betting it's not a scene-for-scene remake. If you honestly just intended CHAOS as an homage and somehow don't realize how closely you copied your inspiration, maybe you could explain how you go through the entire commentary and those extra features without even once mentioning LAST HOUSE or Craven? Was it just a brain fart like when whatsername forgot to thank her husband at the oscars? As for me getting the facts wrong, if that's true then I sincerely apologize. The thing about Sage Stallone quitting came from IMDb and from the letter that Ebert published about you threatening the audience at a screening. Since you make fun of Stallone on the commentary (claiming that he was rejected from ROCKY BALBOA and therefore "available") and apparently at the panel in Chicago (where you chanted "Adrian!" as he came to the stage) I believed those sources. But you were there, I just read about it so if the public record is wrong, by all means, set the record straight. I tried to be accurate (I really did contact the LA County Coroner's Office) and if I got anything wrong then I apologize. Also, as far as me calling you a chump and a dipshit - fair enough. I made these judgments based on your various defenses of the movie, and honestly I was talking more about Bernheim than you. (I hope that doesn't set me up for a bass fishing or crossword puzzle challenge or something.) But it's true, I don't know you personally. Although you just challenged me to a fight over the internet, I'm open to the idea that you're a cool guy and I was too harsh. The truth is, I don't want to stop you from directing. I just think you need some brains in your movies to go with the brawn. I guess since I turned down your crazy challenge I haven't earned the right to offer you one. But that's what it would be: make an original movie. The minimalism, the rawness, the seriousness, the lack of a score - those are all good things about CHAOS. The casting wasn't too bad either. I've seen alot of DTV shit and I don't agree with Bloody Disgusting that CHAOS is "one of the worst films in the history of cinema." It's just that it exactly copies a movie we've all seen but takes out the intelligence, leaving empty shock value. Meanwhile, that coroner's office extra is fucking INSANE, I liked it better than the movie. If you applied that kind of creativity and madness to a movie you might have something. If you ever make a movie I really like and THEN do crazy shit like standing among dead bodies flexing your muscles and calling out Roger Ebert, you will be my fucking hero. I really mean that.
Vern... by El Scorcho	Aug 28th, 2006 01:51:40 PM
You have just made me shed tears of joy. God bless you.
Demon Dave: Time to respond, man. by FatPaul	Aug 28th, 2006 02:18:15 PM
Yes, Dave, it's your turn at bat. Vern was a little nicer than I would have been, but, ultimately, he's probably right. Come on, Dave. Talk about wrestling some more. On another topic, I'm probably going to rent this movie anyway. I'm a glutton for punishment when it comes to bad horror movies.
That's CLASS, Vern. by Gilkuliehe	Aug 28th, 2006 02:29:45 PM
David THE DIPSHIT DeFalco: Have you seen the fucking poster for your movie? I think that picture alone makes you Vern's bitch. Challenge me to a fight now, please.
(And BTW) by Gilkuliehe	Aug 28th, 2006 02:31:24 PM
Greatest. Talkback. Ever.
Vern by readingwriter	Aug 28th, 2006 02:41:47 PM
You're welcome. Based on your expressed opinions I think you will enjoy that movie I promised not to mention anymore. :) You're handling this "challenge" perfectly. Hey, director dude, if you want to prove yourself a good moviemaker, how about making a good movie instead of manufacturing silly publicity stunts? I know, I know, and old idea, but you seem to use a lot of those.
Didn't Vern do time? by Alonzo Mosely	Aug 28th, 2006 02:45:29 PM
Careful Demon Dave, he'll shank your ass when you are least expecting it... If I dreamed the jail part, then forget that last gag, and replace it in your mind with something funny... Also, Demon, Ol' Pal, I think you should chat to the writer of 'The Core', who came in to a TB to defend himself from the ridicule his 'science based script' had wrought... Instead of demanding a rasslin' match, he offered people their money back if they bought a ticket and didn't like it. Maybe you could offer to come around and cut wreslting standard promos, minus your shirt of course, for anyone who buys the movie and hates it. Much more original... Also, when I hear demon dave, I think of a balding Lee Roth going boobadeboadeebop!
And no, Last House is not a scene by scene remake by readingwriter	Aug 28th, 2006 02:48:22 PM
They even knew how to rip things off better in the 70's. I can't believe I'm defending a Wes Craven movie because I don't like his movies, but what he did was translate the Bergman film into a new genre--the slasher film. Bergman's is beautifully shot and intense in terms of its depiction of a man in a situation all three films depict, but Last House emphasized aspects of the story Bergman did not. Whatever I think of the result, it is a DIFFERENT take, sort of like Polanski's brutal version of Macbeth--whether I personally liked it isn't the issue, it's that both directors took an established work and did something DIFFERENT with it. Making a knife kill flick based on another knife kill flick is a completely different deal.
Yo Demon Dave by readingwriter	Aug 28th, 2006 02:51:16 PM
How do you define "homage" as compared to a ripoff? If someone DID rip off Last House, how would it be any different than what you did?
Vern... by Mr Nice Gaius	Aug 28th, 2006 03:35:18 PM
Let me shake your virtual hand. Well said, sir!
DemonDave - I'll get in the ring for 60 seconds... by Mr Nice Gaius	Aug 28th, 2006 03:42:23 PM
...for $10 million. Now put your money where your mouth is chump.
more horrific than anything in his film... by Mr_ant	Aug 28th, 2006 03:44:39 PM
the image of Dave "The Demon" Defalco angrily two finger typing threats into his little imac is now burnt into my retina. It's just too funny.
This trend seems to be picking up steam. by Bubba Gillman	Aug 28th, 2006 03:56:23 PM
I just read that Wernor Herzog has challenged a bear to a wrestling match because the bear criticized the "humanist slant" of "Grizzly Man."
I live in Los Angeles... by -guyinthebackrow	Aug 28th, 2006 03:56:54 PM
and I was afraid of a violent death even before I read this review and subsequent talkback... but now I not only fear a violent death, but I am horrified that the coroner that does my autospy will be a psychotic reject from an episode of "Millenium". And to Demon Dipshit Dave... what do you call the cocktail of crank and steroids that you've been injecting? I really want to know. Is it "Croids"? "Speed-oids"? "Oh-Jesus-my-balls-have-shrunk -to-the-size-of-grapes-but-it- feels-so-goods"? I think I would prefer "Croids".
by Stupid Alias	Aug 28th, 2006 04:03:06 PM
Brush, rinse, repeat: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =jGGhZUI6DbE Seriously, watch that fucking clip again. We don't have to ridicule this guy -- he does it himself, willingly, on his own DVD no less! Just fucking LOOK AT HIM! Bwahahahaha!!
that is ridiculous by SnowMann	Aug 28th, 2006 04:17:33 PM
dipshit and chump sums that clip up pretty well actually.
BWA HA HA HA!! by Gilkuliehe	Aug 28th, 2006 04:18:45 PM
And I thought that was Vern being funny! But he was actually describing what the Dipshit was doing! I'll wrestle this asshole, Vern, tell him I accept on your behalf. (Come on, tell me you don't feel like kicking his fucking mongoloid ass)
DemonDave, you idiot by ZeroC	Aug 28th, 2006 04:40:22 PM
First of all, challenging anyone to a fight over the internet is pretty dumb, and I think you know that. Secondly, do you really think it's fair challenging him to something that you're a professional at and do for a living? That would be like Vern challenging you to a review writing contest. I say you both pick a middle-ground competition, like tennis or something.
sigh by jollysleeve	Aug 28th, 2006 04:41:58 PM
I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Vern is absolutely my favorite contributor at AICN. If I were a 12-year-old school girl, right about now I'd by making a little doodle of Vern's name inside a heart. But since I'm neither 12-years-old nor a girl, that last sentence was just really unnecessary and creepy. Ah, well. Par for the fucking course.
Has anyone yet mentioned... by Cash Bailey	Aug 28th, 2006 05:05:48 PM
...that LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT is a fucking worthless piece of shit? Because it is.
CHAOS by SJ Bernheim	Aug 28th, 2006 05:07:35 PM
Vern - My name's Steven Jay Bernheim, producer of CHAOS. And I have to say, I enjoyed your review more than any other review of the film I've read. I laughed out loud - howled, really - about a half-dozen times. You've got a hell of a talent for comedic writing, and while of course I don't agree with all of your substantive points, I can't argue with your style. Perhaps if I didn't live in an "alternate universe" and weren't a complete moron, we could meet and perhaps get along well, as I think I may share your sensibilities - or at least your sense of humor. Best, and congratulations on a really well-written review. Steven Jay Bernheim Producer CHAOS
Now we've got the left testacle invading this talkback. by El Scorcho	Aug 28th, 2006 05:25:02 PM
Bernheim, please stop making shitty movies and control your other half, Mr. Hyde if you will. Tell him to stop making threats to poor internet film reviewers, and go back to fucking each other in the ass. Oh, and isn't it poor taste to film a DVD extra in a coroner's office? It's not cool you fuckhead, it's retarded.
thank you, baby jesus! thank you, tom cruise! by occula	Aug 28th, 2006 05:28:54 PM
well, if this isn't substantiative proof that the talkback is a tool for good, not evil, then i don't know what. vern - we've got your back. bernheim - you're the first producer i've ever seen (and i've worked with plenty) actually say something nice to a critic. you oughta ditch that douchebag and make something for all the rabids here on this website. unless, of course, you were kidding, in which case get ready for some serious flaming. ps - bring on the black box!
I don't want to sound like a queer or nuthin... by Total Fag	Aug 28th, 2006 05:29:37 PM
but i think Depeche Mode is a sweet band.
Steven by Vern	Aug 28th, 2006 05:30:22 PM
Now THAT was class. I raked Steven over the coals way harder than I did The Demon (and subsequently dissed him again in my respone to the Demon), but this guy just patted me on the back for my review. That is a surprise sneak attack psyche-out move right there. Either that or it's like the good Lord said, "turn the other cheek and say 'nice try bitch, now let's see how you do on this cheek' (paraphrase). Anyway thanks for that, it proves we can all get along. I'm looking in your direction, Israel and Lebanon.
to Cash Bailey by Vern	Aug 28th, 2006 05:31:23 PM
I think you could make a legitimate argument for that. So let's hear it, bud.
SJ Bernham presents - Vern : An Underdog's Journey... by Alonzo Mosely	Aug 28th, 2006 05:34:15 PM
Directed by Demon Dave, starring Steven Seagal and Eddie Griffin and guest staring Jorge Garcia as Harry...
Can Mori prove that was really Bernheim? by BitterMan23	Aug 28th, 2006 05:41:21 PM
Thanks
Things for the fanny pack... by Blue_Demon	Aug 28th, 2006 05:48:01 PM
"Red contacts? Check. Scrunchy for my topknot? Check. Ambiguously Gay Wrestling Garb? Check. Chain for my neck ( remake of Sid Vicious' fashion statement...wait...homage ) Check. Tiny bottle of baby oil to rub on myself in case I have to walk into a room full of dead dudes? Check." Dave "The Dimwit" DeFucko...you win...you are the funniest guy on the PLANET.
Thanks Vern, for sayin' what needed to be said... by R0BTRAIN	Aug 28th, 2006 05:48:20 PM
It's still real to me damnit!
Demon Dave, I'm calling you out by JuggFuckler	Aug 28th, 2006 05:54:58 PM
My name is Jason "Juggfuckler" Stevens. I think that you are a pussy, a shitty director, and a shitty human being. Your mother is a whore and your father is a closet homosexual. I am now calling you out the way that you called out Vern. What do you say? One minute in the ring with the JuggFuckler. You don't even have to quit directing (you have already effectively destroyed your "career" all by yourself). I just want the privilege of kicking the shit out of a no-talent plagiarist. Come on Dave, let
So... when Kevin Smith does it.... by GuyLombardo	Aug 28th, 2006 06:05:15 PM
it passes as funny or cool. Perhaps it's because he is fat and bald. But when Demon defends his movie (even if it is with physical violence) everyone thinks he's dumb for doing so. The guy made a movie and has every right to call someone out who talks shit about him or it. I hope he kicks Vern's asshole open and uses it as plant pot for something that grows crooked.
Alright Demon Dave by El_Aurens	Aug 28th, 2006 06:10:34 PM
See what you did? Now you have to fight JuggFuclker! I don
Oh, and for the record by El_Aurens	Aug 28th, 2006 06:12:43 PM
it isn't cool when Kevin Smith does it either. After his wife refuses to have sex with him, he just doesn't have anything else to do.
Just my opinion, man. by Cash Bailey	Aug 28th, 2006 06:13:50 PM
Badly made, ugly and pointless. No matter how much high-faluting 'Nam symbolism you choose to associate with it. Also, am I the only one who, while reading DeFalco's TB rant, couldn't help but imagine "Mean" Gene Oakerland standing next to him with a microphone?
Yup, really me by SJ Bernheim	Aug 28th, 2006 06:15:36 PM
It is really me. And yeah, I'm sincere. Vern did a great job skewering us, with wit and aplomb. And no apologies needed as far as the attacks - when you put something out like CHAOS, and take the positions we take (no pun intended), ya gotta expect some heat. I've been called, moron, douchebag, cretin, retard, mental case, hack, talentless hack, fuckin' hack, asshole, imbecile, imbecil (misspelled). . . and that's just what I can remember off the top of my head. I don't mind - I'm just glad my mom can't doesn't use internet. I also can tell you that while Dave and I have been friends, and filmmaking partners, for nearly a decade, Dave is definitely his own person and does what he wants, when he wants to. Dave chooses to present himself in a certain "fashion" - yes, sometimes in wrestling tights and sometimes wearing $10 contacts - and ya know, that's his right. Early on in our friendship, I made a few suggestions about his appearance, at least at meetings, etc. (he actually had a completely different look back the, more of a "big hair rocker" look), and he correctly put me in my place, saying - in simpler terms perhaps - he has a right to create his own image and identity. He's correct, dontcha think? As far as the coroner's crypt goes, it certainly is wacky and therefore, entertaining, and it certainly is in bad taste. Very bad taste. And yes, we definitely had permission to film, from the department chief. If you have any other questions, I'd be happy to answer them to the best of my ability (maybe). Ciao SJ Bernheim
You have done been called out Demon Dave by JimBelushi	Aug 28th, 2006 06:19:42 PM
How tough are you now? Maybe JuggFuckler can be persuaded to take on you and Uwe Boll at the same time. That would be kickass. Juggs kicking the shit out of your punk ass with Uwe Boll standing in the corner crying(masturbating?). Not so tough now are you? Way to back down to a real challenge. Why don't you go back to beating up little kids in your karate class if that is the only thing that can make your feeble little dick hard. You can call out Vern but you can't answer when someone calls you out. You fucking punk. You little bitch.
Best. Talkback. Evar. by Billyeveryteen	Aug 28th, 2006 06:30:53 PM
Vern, quit pussyfooting around, and call these douchebags out.
Slowly, a vague mental picture forms... by jollysleeve	Aug 28th, 2006 06:44:04 PM
...concerning the dynamic of the Bernheim/DeFalco friendship. I'm starting to get an "Of Mice and Men" vibe here.
Best talkback ever by AshleyMonday	Aug 28th, 2006 06:45:28 PM
We got Bernheim and The Demon to come out of the figurative closet. Vern, you are what Harry was ten years ago, a film geek with clout and sincerity. My hope is that when Harry gives up the racket, you step up to run this hamburger stand. Here's to this talkback not dying until this DVD comes out! Cheers!
Demon Dave= Douche Bag by muscelyarm	Aug 28th, 2006 06:46:49 PM
I mean how little dick can you be? Calling someone out on the internet? And then being too much of a queer to answer when JuggFuckler calls you out? Demon Dave you are a wate of fucking space. Vern you hit the nail on the head this time. Don't feel bad about answering Douchebag Dave's "call" when he is too chicken to answer Juggfuckler's call.
Steven, I do have some questions by Vern	Aug 28th, 2006 06:54:59 PM
Seriously man, I don't want to break the peace here, but what is the deal with CHAOS being so much like LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT? I read many accounts of you supposedly saying that they were not very similar, that you didn't like LAST HOUSE, etc. And it definitely seems like you went out of your way to not mention LAST HOUSE on the commentary. But clearly nobody in the entire world other than you and Dave are buying that tale. Even the very few positive reviews I've read (including Capone's) say that it's either a remake or a ripoff. And as people have pointed out you even at one point used the "it's only a movie, it's only a movie" tagline (which I'm pretty sure was not in the Swedish folk tale). And obviously you're gonna piss off fans of LAST HOUSE or even VIRGIN SPRING when your credits say "based on an original idea" by you two. Speaking for myself, I don't think I would've had such a harsh reaction to the movie if you guys didn't seem so full of it to me in your two claims 1) that it's not that similar to LAST HOUSE and 2) that it's intended as an educational tool. So my question is, what is the deal? Do you really believe those two things, or is it just some ol' Barnum and Bailey shit to sell the movie? Also, I was wondering if you have considered shooting behind the scenes footage for the next Dave the Demon movie, because that could be some good shit in my opinion. You might even be able to do a feature length documentary between Dave and Mr. Cormier there. I guarantee I would watch that.
do I have to pull this talkback over? by Vern	Aug 28th, 2006 07:02:56 PM
I'm sure Dave will respond eventually. He probaly has other things to do. I know he probaly needs time to lift weights and research serial killers, to name just two legitimate reasons to be away from the computer. I don't think everybody needs to be calling him a fag. I appreciate everybody standing up for me like I was a little sissy, but let's silence the violence everybody. If you can point to any historical evidence of Jesus or Martin Luther King challenging somebody to a wrestling match, then I will change my stance on this. But until then give peace a chance. Have we learned nothing from CHAOS? Be safe.
A message to Bernheim by Kasch	Aug 28th, 2006 07:05:24 PM
Since you responded in a civil manner, I figured I'd say something constructive: We've all mocked you and DeFalco and your movie, but in all honesty, it's not out of personal hatred or offense. It's just to give you both a wake up call. Yes, to be blunt, we think that your work sucks. That doesn't mean artists don't grow and mature. I sincerely hope your next project brings more to the table and (all plagiarism aside) that you and DeFalco realize your folly when it came to your attempts to drum up controversy. In the future, make your films, state your goals, and leave the hyberbole and exhibitionist shtick out of it. The fans will decide whether or not you're making "the most brutal movie ever made." And, please, pick a side - "shocker" or "cautionary" movie. You can't have it both ways. DeFalco might very well make a good movie some day, but he'll only be taken seriously if he stops the laughable "demon" wrestler bullshit and acts like a filmmaker. If he's smart, he'll listen to you and all of us. If he's not, then we'll continue to have our laughs at his expense.
SJ Bernheim by ZombieChrisReeve	Aug 28th, 2006 07:16:17 PM
Are you actually friends with Dave Defalco? He seems like a real jerk. Anyone who has to create a pseudo persona has got to have self esteem issues. It
Kasch by AshleyMonday	Aug 28th, 2006 07:18:50 PM
Agreed....just like the creative void between "House of a 1000 Corpses" and "The Devil's Reject's". I hated "House" and wasn't looking forward to "Rejects". I was very surprised ot find out that "Rejects" is one of the best Road/Horror movies I've seen in decades. Storytellers improve their craft or dilute it over time. Defalco could become a good director (of course first he'll have to overcome his problem with juvenilia).
anch, your two examples were genuinely brilliant by HypeEndsHere	Aug 28th, 2006 07:20:29 PM
coincidence?..... (yes.)
Greatest. Thread. Ever. by IPMichaelangelo	Aug 28th, 2006 07:41:13 PM
You kids have made my day!
Where are you, Doc Pazuzu?! by Mr Nice Gaius	Aug 28th, 2006 07:44:27 PM
This TB demands your presence!
Fact about "Demon" Dave (from the Chaos website) by IPMichaelangelo	Aug 28th, 2006 07:58:14 PM
Writer/Director David
From Las Vegas Weekly by AshleyMonday	Aug 28th, 2006 08:05:39 PM
LVW: A user on the Internet Movie Database who likes the movie describes it as "fun." Is that a good reaction as far as you're concerned? D"D"D: Look, any time you're getting people writing about it like that, you're going to get a whole gamut of stuff going on, but the bottom line is that it falls in the horror genre, and it's like anything that
Anch... by Kasch	Aug 28th, 2006 08:32:39 PM
Orson Welles didn't have everyone laughing at him in unison when he appeared in public. I understand where you're coming from, but DeFalco isn't even convincing as "some Hollywood weirdo." His image is just pathetic and phony and he speaks like a twelve-year-old death-metal horror junkie. He needs to drop the act, be himself, and learn to articulate something besides "Murder! Death! Su-IC-IDE!"
Demon vs. JuggFuckler by SJ Bernheim	Aug 28th, 2006 09:08:29 PM
I would be happy to promote the match, and act as Special Guest Referee. I propose Hollywood, California - on a Saturday night, this September. Dave the Demon - what do you say? JuggFuckler? I'll put up a $250 purse - winner take all!! Let me know! SJ Bernheim
noooo by Everett Robert	Aug 28th, 2006 09:21:25 PM
not in Sept. I'm going to be spending most of that month in the Philippines, and I have to see this. ok but seriously, as someone who has watched a lot of wrestling, Demon Dave, really dude, I watched you in WcW and you were NEVER anything but a Undertaker ripoff ok...you worked for the same company that had a buff chick named Asya or something at the same time the WW(F)E had a buff chick named Chyna. I'm with the rest of these people here, take the positive stuff that Vern mentioned that do sound really good, the grittiness, the lack of score etc, and incorprate them into something else. I'm all for taking classic horror mythos and updating them but when almost every critic( who are not known for agreeing usually) says this is a LHotL ripoff, look at the work SUBJECTIVLY...in fact, do what Stephen King suggests to writers, write it, sit it aside for weeks or months, deteach yourself from the work and then go back and look at your work and then begin to clean it up. here let me give you an idea of a movie, seriously, take this idea nd run with it because I'm never going to make this movie. There is a legend in Kansas that one of the gates of hell is here, run with that, the Apoclyspe comes to Kansas of all places, don't rip off South Park Bigger Longer Uncut, do something original. There's also a legend in the Manhatten area that an Indian shaman was killed (I think, or maybe an Indian Princess) and her ghost haunts that area. I've talked to people who have gone out to the land and pissed on it and things went CRAZY. I've been to it, it's a field in the middle of nowhere and you just get the hebbie jebbies, sure it's probably psychosymetiatic but it's interesting thought. There you go, explore horror urban legands and like mockumentary or doc style explore the ideas of real or feigned horror expirences.
Questions by SJ Bernheim	Aug 28th, 2006 09:25:11 PM
I'll try to address some of the questions. 1. Dave D. Yes, he really is my friend, although I once filed a lawsuit against him, and he - on more than one occasion - has threatened to kick my ass in the ring (exactly as his most recent challenge to Vern). Dave and i went through a lot of struggling over the years in Hollywood to get to the point where we could make a film that is strong on a technical level (which Chaos is). When you go through a lot over many years with somebody trying to achieve common goals, you tend to become friends, even if you're very different kinds of people. 2. The similarities (and differences) between LHOTL and Chaos. There are similarities between the films for sure, as well as differences. If you were literally to lay out summaries of the scenes, numbered in columns next to each other, you would find many more differences than similarities - certainly enough to avoid charges of plagiarism in a legal sense. The same is true of lines of dialogue. The one and only time I saw LHOTL, which was at Dave's house, I fell asleep in the middle. Sorry, Mr. Hess and Mr. Sheffler. I personally think it was a huge mistake to borrow anything from the marketing campaign from LHOTL or from any 70s genre movie. That was done in connection with the theatrical release at the insistence of the theatrical distributor. The fact is that most people outside the horror community have neither seen nor heard of LHOTL. Although I am a movie fan - even a movie buff to some extent - I hadn't seen it or heard of it until a few years ago, and none of my friends other than Dave ever heard of it or saw it. So I think this whole issue is a bit of a nothing-burger, as far as the general public goes. 3. I think a behind the scenes documentary about the making of Dave's next film is great idea. I think just a follow-him-around documentary about Dave the D in general could be highly entertaining. Best, Steve
Original Idea by SJ Bernheim	Aug 28th, 2006 09:42:26 PM
Vern has asked about the "Based on an original idea by. . ." He asks, was the "original idea" to rip off Last House on the Left? Should we have called it, "Last House on the Right"? The answer is, there are no original ideas in Hollywood. Everything is derivitive of something else, to some extent. It is all in the execution. That "original idea" credit is intellectually dishonest whenever and whereever it is used. so to those whose insatiable hatred for Chaos is fueled by that credit, I say: LIGHTEN UP, FRANCES!! IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!!! Best, Steve
SJ Bernheim by Everett Robert	Aug 28th, 2006 09:55:39 PM
man you seem like an upright guy. I'm not saying you ripped off LHotL, I saw it once when I was a kid and don't remember anything about it really, I'm just going off what the other reviewers have said, and I can understand about theatrical distribution marketing and what not. Listen, if you want, come out to Kansas, I know a guy that I think could come up with a good idea and excute it, and no it's not me.
I really do think... by Everett Robert	Aug 28th, 2006 09:57:32 PM
I am the WORST speller on AICN, only because I really do try and catch my spelling errors and it just bothers me when I see them posted for God and everyone to see
Aw shit. by brokebackcowboy	Aug 28th, 2006 10:41:59 PM
I spent the whole day trolling Don Murphy and missed out on this. Dammit.
That vid in the coroner's office by brokebackcowboy	Aug 28th, 2006 11:23:29 PM
was lame and poorly acted. Seen better acting and narration in a homemade YouTube video from India. My college roommate directed better films than you, Dave. And film was his minor, you stupid knuckle-dragger. I wish they had funded the No Child Left Behind Act when you were in grade school, then maybe we would have been spared your piss-poor excuse of a wrestling career or your venture into so-called filmmaking. And to Steven Bernheim, tell Sage Stallone to stop his father from beating that dead horse and to just fade away gracefully. And remember, Vern rules.
Steven Bernheim by brokebackcowboy	Aug 28th, 2006 11:34:48 PM
"so to those whose insatiable hatred for Chaos is fueled by that credit, I say: LIGHTEN UP, FRANCES!! IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!!!" ..... You might want to tell that to your pal Dave. Because he threatened Vern over it. And there are original ideas in filmmaking - just look at Brokeback Mountain. That was pretty original. Hey, Demon Dave can make his next movie about gay wrestlers ... now that, I'm sure would be the perfect project for him.
The TB is interesting... by readingwriter	Aug 28th, 2006 11:54:45 PM
...and yet nothing has altered my feelings about the movie after reading Vern's review. Life's too short to see bad movies.
Vern: Can I answer your question? by brokebackcowboy	Aug 28th, 2006 11:55:37 PM
Question: "but what is the deal with CHAOS being so much like LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT?" .... Answer: Because a wrestler wanted to make a horror movie, so he went to Blockbuster looking for ideas. The only thing brutal about Demon Dave is watching him act. He makes Paris Hilton look like a thespian.
well, i may be talking out my ass... by occula	Aug 28th, 2006 11:56:22 PM
because i haven't seen either film, but in order to avoid charges of plagiarism the project in question has to have 75% of the material determinably different from the original project (this goes for books, graphics, all of it). regardless, i still give steve the producer props for going up against these TB'ers.
I give Steve the producer props too ... by brokebackcowboy	Aug 29th, 2006 12:19:40 AM
it takes balls to invest real money in a movie helmed by a knuckle-dragger like DeFalco. Next up ... SWEET SWEAT: THE LIFE OF A GAY WRESTLER.
Demon Dave by brokebackcowboy	Aug 29th, 2006 12:29:08 AM
The thing I hate most about the Internet is reading a post by a stupid knuckle-dragger like you. You shouldn't wait for a match with Vern to stop directing movies. You should stop directing movies because you have no talent, and the world does not need you to direct movies. We have plenty of shitty movies to choose from already. Like Lindsay Lohan's movies. And the proper abbreviation for 'versus' is V. or Vs. I'm never a spelling nazi, but you ... you genuinely need all the assistance you can get.
The most insulting part of all... by TheKeenGuy	Aug 29th, 2006 01:05:12 AM
"That "original idea" credit is intellectually dishonest whenever and whereever it is used. so to those whose insatiable hatred for Chaos is fueled by that credit, I say: LIGHTEN UP, FRANCES!! IT'S ONLY A MOVIE!!!" ...anyone who actually believe that should never be allowed to become a filmmaker. It's sad that you are so creatively bankrupt that you decide it's okay to rip off another film's premise simply because it's easier than being original. "It's only a movie" is no defense when you have shown blatant disregard of someone else's intellectual properties. But I guess that it's difficult to understand the concept of intellectual properties when you've never had one of your own.
Hey Vern by brokebackcowboy	Aug 29th, 2006 01:11:28 AM
I just read your essay on Michael Bay. I'd be curious to know how you feel about Tony Scott. Because his films are truly, horribly unwatchable. Like how you see Michael Bay to the Nth degree. I even tried watching Man on Fire (the way you made yourself watch Bad Boys 2) and his trademark dark cinematography / hyper-kinetic editing gave me a migraine. I think if you gave The Island a chance instead of BB2, you'd have a slightly better view of Bay. Everyone panned The Island, but I don't think it was quite that bad. It didn't even feel like a Michael Bay film. If you ever watch it, post a review.
Hey brokeback by Vern	Aug 29th, 2006 01:27:24 AM
If you want to know how I feel about Tony Scott, read my review of DOMINO. It is probaly more harsh than this CHAOS review. Strangely, Tony Scott never challenged me to a wrestling match.
To Vern From The Demon by Demon Dave	Aug 29th, 2006 02:09:39 AM
I want to start by saying I accept your apology for calling me a dipshit and a chump. That was the main reason I challenged you, not your harsh review of Chaos. I felt like you made it a personal attack and I don't think anyone can fault me for defending myself. Maybe I am a bit juvenile but I was brought up on the east coast. One thing I learned was not to talk shit about someone if you wouldn't do it to their face. 'Cause you just might run into them one day. But, I actually think the letter you wrote to me was cool and I am glad you enjoyed the coroner stuff. You will soon understand the method behind that madness. And to you Jugg, I appreciate your challenge. But, honestly, I'm not really that pissed off at you. Vern did something that made me mad. You are just going with the flow. Your review of Chaos was very funny, Vern. But, with all the "Last House" bickering going on, something very important has been lost sight of. Chaos has become the embodiment of TRUE EVIL. My involvement in that movie has altered my life permanently and set me on a new journey. And trust me, it is a "doorway" I wish I never opened. More to come...
Hey Pantera by Demon Dave	Aug 29th, 2006 02:20:56 AM
Maybe you are bigger than me and maybe you can kick my ass. (Don't know the answer to that one) Yes, you haven't threatened anyone on this site. But, then again I haven't read that anyone has called you a dipshit or a chump. Maybe, then you would feel differently?
hmm by DonnieDorko	Aug 29th, 2006 02:22:58 AM
"Maybe I am a bit juvenile but I was brought up on the east coast." Could be the tagline for your new gay wrestling docu-comedy. And who cares what you feel about Juggfuckler, HE challenged YOU, you big sissy. You just proved that you don't even have any credability as a wrestlingclown... unbelievable..
Pantera by DonnieDorko	Aug 29th, 2006 02:39:30 AM
Yup, I thought it was pathetic when he challenged vern to a freaking fight. I thought it was even worse when he didn't accept the challenge FROM JuggFuckler. How hard can it be to follow that logic? Are you from the eastcoast too? :)
Thank you Pantera by Demon Dave	Aug 29th, 2006 02:59:58 AM
Pantera, you sound like a stand up guy. You're okay in my book. Donnie, you sound like your name. And what's with all the gay shit. Maybe, you want me to fuck you up the ass after I kick it? the Demon
okeydokey by DonnieDorko	Aug 29th, 2006 03:05:02 AM
Well, the difference is that both Vern and JuggFuckler post on this site and in the talkbacks will probably have about the same amount of readers. But it doesn't really matter, of course I knew Demon Dave wouldn't accept the challenge. It's all just so extremly dumb it's hard to believe. The thing with the presumably educational value of the movie and then the talks of Vern trying to stay alive in the ring. I like americans in general an US in general but I don't get how the dumbest people over there still gets to do movies etc. I really don't get it. And everything bad I read about the movie is just increased buy what this Demon Dave character says. + Why not make a gay wrestling docu-movie with that tagline? Don't you think it would sell?
Stephen and Dave... by Messiahman	Aug 29th, 2006 03:08:13 AM
Mr. Bernheim, due to the impending release of the CHAOS DVD, it
Dave by DonnieDorko	Aug 29th, 2006 03:08:31 AM
I'm not too surprised you didn't get why I choose my nick "Demon Dave"..... sigh..
And Pantera by DonnieDorko	Aug 29th, 2006 03:53:31 AM
If Tom Cruise would call me a loser and a bad filmmaker, I wouldn't go out in public saying something like "Oh, yeah, well I can kill you! Let's try to kill eachother so I can prove how good a filmmaker I am when I show how good I am att killing people". I wouldn't. + Tom Cruise would use his witchcraft against me.
For the demon by fabiodeniro	Aug 29th, 2006 04:08:40 AM
Ok. So let's sum this up. You made a bad movie that's only claim to fame is it's the most brutal film ever. It's not. That would be Ghost Dad. You felt guilty about the sick flick you created. With much regret, you insert a title card that you hoped this film would save lives by enlighting us all on what horrible things happen. No mention of providing

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