Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Harry is drunk off his ass and writing about BEERFEST!!!

Ryan Phillipe as Harvey Dent? by Zardoz	Aug 16th, 2006 05:44:03 AM
Wow. I did not see that one coming. Who is he again? Reese Witherspoon's house-husband? I think Liev Schreiber would have been a better choice, but I guess it's gonna be an all pretty-boy cast for the Dark Knight. (at least until the various dis-figurements!)
Did Harry just use "Not" Humor? by Deep Cover	Aug 16th, 2006 05:51:24 AM
This suit is NOT black. This suit is black not. This suit is black...NOT.
By now... by Son of Batman	Aug 16th, 2006 05:52:27 AM
Harry's probably sitting naked on the toilet with explosive diarrhea, projectile vomiting into his bathtub. It happened last time he was sick. This time'll be even worse.
Who's the chick in the animation? by Freddie Mercury	Aug 16th, 2006 05:53:45 AM
It's so tiny. Is it Yoko? Is it Scarlet? WTF?
If Harry's new woman is 'code'named "Yoko"... by Sgt. Black	Aug 16th, 2006 06:18:49 AM
...does that mean the site will really start sucking, Harry and Moriarity will have a falling out, Harry will be shot in the back after a brief and wildly outspoken drug-hazed protestor season, and Mori will go on to rule the earth? -oh, and Quint will have someone break into his house and stab him?
Das Boot: by D	Aug 16th, 2006 06:33:21 AM
put a glass of Schnaps into your glass of beer, et voil
Who for Dent? by mattyholmes	Aug 16th, 2006 06:37:13 AM
Yeah i would have gone for Schrieber too, can't believe they have gone for Ryan Phillipe. Batman Begins has boring casting so far... www.obsessedwithfilm.com
Holy God, Americans are so stupid. by Huffy_Henry	Aug 16th, 2006 06:38:42 AM
The word is "bureaucratic," not "beaurocratic." Jesus fucking CHRIST! I don't care if you really were drunk when you wrote this, Harry, you should be ashamed. That said, I'm looking forward to seeing this movie.
Harry.. by Kampbell-Kid	Aug 16th, 2006 06:43:57 AM
For hilarious reasons like BEERFEST, NACHO LIBRE, or even Butt-Numb-A-Thon is why I wish you and Tim League would do live webcasts of them events. Even if you charged for the bandwith to view it, I'd pay to see that kind of silly fun and geek togetherness.
only 3 beers to get harry drunk by rubensreviews	Aug 16th, 2006 07:13:18 AM
harry is a cheap date. excellent
Oh man... by abiggerboat	Aug 16th, 2006 07:14:41 AM
I'm off on my European travels on Saturday, and I can't wait to fucking hit Germany now! Munich, beer hall on every street, Stein and a suasage time!! Cheers Harry. Oh, film sounds pretty funny too!
is it as bad as "old school"? by Windowlicker74	Aug 16th, 2006 07:14:45 AM
probably not, but at least this time we're not being told by Harry to 'fuck off'if we didn't like the movie like in that old school 'review'.
huffy henri by Windowlicker74	Aug 16th, 2006 07:18:49 AM
Americans are stupid because Harry made a typo. huh?
WAIT!!! Go back to the part about STRANGEBREW!!! by Spiderhulk	Aug 16th, 2006 07:28:34 AM
Holy moly? Strangebrew? teaser trailer?? I'm confused... is it a sequal, a remake, a teaser trailer from the original? WHAT'S THE DILLYO? DAVE AND BOB MCKENZIE could destroy anyone in a fuckin beer drinking contest. They're from Canada, and Canadians destroy at beer drinking contests. Put me up against three of your heaviest american drinkers and I'll be awake until 8am the next morning drinking my 30th cold canadian beer while they pass out at 11pm after 4 or 5
I saw "Batman & Robin" opening night. . . . by Nice Marmot	Aug 16th, 2006 07:37:05 AM
I didn't know it sucked til I rented it at Blockbuster. I can't drink like I used to but just might bring a sixer to "Beerfest" Now I want to watch "Strange Brew" again.
this just proves my point... by guyincognito27	Aug 16th, 2006 07:37:40 AM
I am posting my thoughts again in this thread as it is more appropriate. K seriously- this site has become one big fucking commercial. Granted i have read this site since 1999, and it has obviously influenced the choices that i make when going to the movies. However, that was when the site told me about little known titles like "memento," and "city of god." Harry and crew got me excited to see movies off of the beaten path. Now, all of the movies that Harry reviews, have became the greatest movies he's ever seen (unless of course the movie was made by Fox). For example, War of the Worlds, Hustle and Flow reviews from Harry came out pretty close together. And i quote: "This is the very best film I
Saw "B&R" opening night on a bottle of Old Crow . . . by Nice Marmot	Aug 16th, 2006 07:38:06 AM
. . . is what the above post should read. Damn, I can't even type sober.
Don't hit the mind altering substances myself by Terry_1978	Aug 16th, 2006 07:40:54 AM
But I always enjoy a good weed or liquor based flick, even if my associates like to remind me the best way to see them is wasted. If it's decent, clever comedy I'll give it a glance.
Shh, no-one tell Harry, but.... by raw_bean	Aug 16th, 2006 07:42:07 AM
Malzbier (the German 'malt beer' he was referring to having drunk several of) is non-alcoholic. Or at best, less than 1% alcohol by volume. Lol
Let's hope the movie is funnier than this review. by The Wrong Guy	Aug 16th, 2006 07:53:09 AM
BA-ZING! Just kidding, Harry. Sounds pretty sweet to me. I actually liked Club Dread quite a bit.
I saw "Blue Velvet" opening night on.. by Borgnine JR	Aug 16th, 2006 07:55:49 AM
...Grape Nehi and grain alcohol. I'm still scared of Dennis Hopper.
I can vouch for Harry, it's easily their funniest film by Lance Rock	Aug 16th, 2006 08:00:36 AM
Sure, I drank a few at the screening (God Bless the Alamo), but the laughs were genuine, not simply alcohol-induced. My wife and her female friend were there, and they loved the film as well, so I know it's got a lot of crossover appeal. But be warned: if you don't sneak a beer into the theater to watch this, you're gonna battle a mighty thirst.
IMDB says Ryan Phillippe as Two-Face? by The Dude Abides	Aug 16th, 2006 08:04:42 AM
That's horrible casting. They also report Philip Seymour Hoffman is in talks to play the penguin. Here's there article: Ryan Phillippe may be set to take over from Tommy Lee Jones after reportedly landing the role of Harvey Dent/Two-Face in the upcoming Batman Begins sequel. Reese Witherspoon's husband will join Heath Ledger, who has signed on to play The Joker, and new Batman Christian Bale in The Dark Knight. Crash star Phillippe beat Liev Shreiber and Josh Lucas to the role of the scheming district attorney, played by Jones in 1995 movie Batman Forever, according to internet reports. Academy Award winners Sir Michael Caine and Morgan Freeman have also joined the cast, while fellow Oscar winner Philip Seymour Hoffman is in talks to play The Penguin in the new film.
Harry's reviews by FearlessJay	Aug 16th, 2006 08:05:33 AM
I've been coming here since about 1999 as well, and guyincognito27, I think you're missing the point. My opinions typically fall pretty close to Harry's (albeit I'll never forgive his recommendation of Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle). Of the last 12 movies he reviewed, The Omen and X3 were possibly the biggest stand-out dissapointments. (Was anyone holding their breath on click?) So I think when something that looks bad turns out OK, it sometimes gets a pass. However, like myself, I always thought of Harry as first and foremost a movie-lover. One of the those people who look for the brightside in every movie. I do that. My parents do that. Many of my friends do that. Nowhere do I believe this site became a pitch-site only out to promote blockbusters. (wow, when did this turn into a love letter to Harry? Need to reclaim manhood.) On the other hand, Harry's great big deusch. Now, I'm going to kill an animal with my bare hands and copulate with a woman.
Am i the only one that dug Club Dread ? by JeanLuc Dickhard	Aug 16th, 2006 08:17:11 AM
I thought it was funny ....
At least Harry wasn't foaming at the ass this time by DirkD13"	Aug 16th, 2006 08:23:31 AM

Seriously, enough crap... bring on Supertroopers 2 by Spiderhulk	Aug 16th, 2006 08:31:45 AM
SUPERTROOPERS 2!! SUPERTROOPERS 2!!!! FARVA FARVA FARVA FARVA...... "its delicious" chicken fuckers
LIGHTWEIGHT by Elmore Rigby	Aug 16th, 2006 08:54:13 AM
For being 400 pounds, you are a pussy when it comes to drinking.
You had me at Shiner. by Spamgelus	Aug 16th, 2006 09:08:54 AM
..which I can't get in New York. Now I'm sad again.
"This one kicked 9 layers of ass and blew me 3 times. " by Shermdawg	Aug 16th, 2006 09:12:12 AM
Can we expect that quote in the print ads??? Nice one, Mr.HEADGEEK sir, nice one.
The more I hear on Beerfest the better it sounds by Archduke_Chocula	Aug 16th, 2006 09:17:43 AM
Though this review isn't really affecting my judgement, Chud.com's latest podcast had two of the BL gang on and they were talking about the film, and being that I loved Club Drea, i'll be sure to enjoy this one. As much as I enjoy Dread, the horror sort of got in the way of the comedy. http://k105.blogspot.com/
The GOVERNMENT should be cracking down on Harry's... by Elmore Rigby	Aug 16th, 2006 09:22:48 AM
...underaged girlfriend drinking beer!
Harry's Blood Alcohol Level by Pale Rider	Aug 16th, 2006 09:23:33 AM
Considering the effect of alcohol has on one's person is affected by body mass, how many CASES of beer would it take to get Harry's blood level over the legal limit? Just askin'...
yeah no shit by plantpage55	Aug 16th, 2006 09:58:16 AM
NO WAY does it only take Harry 3 drinks. I have a feeling he'd have to drink a cement truck full before he even gets a buzz, lard ass
Beer drunks are the worst people in the world by MrBoinfoint	Aug 16th, 2006 10:08:35 AM
Loud, obnoxious, usually sweating profusely and reeking of cigarettes, laughing too much at their stupid jokes. Date rapists are beer drunks. Give me a bottle of whiskey and a glass and a quiet table in back and shut the fuck up.
spiderhulk by ironburl	Aug 16th, 2006 10:18:15 AM
It was the trailer for the original Strange Brew.
Club Dread- horrible film by Lovecraftfan	Aug 16th, 2006 10:25:43 AM
Not scary, not funny, not anything. Its a black hole. Oh and this is the stupidest review ever. So its funny cause youre drunk. Give me a break.
Great lines for the newspaper ad: by mattw	Aug 16th, 2006 10:28:16 AM
"Kicked 9 layers of ass and blew me 3 times." - Harry Knowles, Aint It Cool News. "This is a drinking film. Sneak the beer into the theater and get fucked up with this thing." - Harry Knowles, Aint It Cool News. "Drunk on laughing myself fucking silly." - Harry Knowles, Aint It Cool News.
Thanks, but I'll wait for "Beer League" by Atticus Finch	Aug 16th, 2006 10:30:07 AM
FUCK YOU ARTIE! Hi Fred.
Funny? The Trailers Make It Look Like Wallet Rape! by www.valiens.com	Aug 16th, 2006 10:35:41 AM
There's not a chance this film is even remotely funny. Sorry, dude: you were drunk. Speaking of "dude," should I revists "Dude, Where's My Car?" whilst intoxicated? How about the chronically unfunny, "Good Burger"? ANYTHING IS FUNNY WHEN YOUR BRAIN IS FUNCTIONING LIKE A RETARD'S! If I take Viagra before seeing "Basic Instinct 2," should I then write a glowing review about how hard Sharon Stone still makes me? There's something else disingenuous here, which may affect all reviews written under the circumstance: The crowds at preview screenings, premieres, and film festivals are WAAAAAY more forgiving than the normal movie crowd. There's far more crowd participation. The exception to this rule will be Friday's midnight screening of "Snakes On A Plane" in Times Square. But the rule still stands. Ya lush.
I hope to god somebody brings a snake to the theater by MrBoinfoint	Aug 16th, 2006 11:07:57 AM
That would be awesome.
So Harry, elaborate on Strange Brew Teaser... by nomihs	Aug 16th, 2006 11:28:28 AM
Beerfest, Blah blah blah, okay I might see it. BUT a Strange Brew? HELL YEAH!!! Is this a re-release, a redux? or just a teaser from the original to get all the liver killin' Alamonians hyped and psyched for BEERFEST? C'mon anyone have ANYTHING??? I thought this was AIN'T IT COOL NEWS for cryin out loud. How about doing some cool news sometime soon. Oh and is Yoko a subconsious reference to the Beatles' Yoko?
Well said, guyincognito27, well said by Atticus Finch	Aug 16th, 2006 12:19:31 PM
Can I cut and paste your post in future AICN "reviews" by Harry? One thing to remember, though, Harry and AICN have been sell-outs for years and make no bones about it. Just keep that in mind when reading the "reviews"/shills.
Phillipe as Two Face? by Gwai Lo	Aug 16th, 2006 01:09:37 PM
If this is true my early disappointment is building. I'm kind of neutral on Phillipe, but that would make two choices (after Ledger) that seem a bit off base. Nolan knows what he's doing, but Clive Owen would make a better Two Face and there's a handful of thespians (not including Crispin Glover) that would have made an interesting Joker and look closer to his portrayal in the comics. So I'm hoping this Phillipe thing is just a rumor, even though they should be announcing Dent's casting any day now as he must be an important role in the sequel. As for Beerfest, it looks hilarious. Broken Lizard hasn't disappointed yet, except for Puddle Cruiser, but that was their first movie so I'll give them a free pass. It had its moments, anyway.
Harry and that kid sitting in shit during "Hulk" by Badger999	Aug 16th, 2006 01:15:59 PM
Is it just me or are Harry's posts utterly unreadable? I tried, but only made it through two paragraphs. Every time I see his name, I can't help but think of that kid sitting in a shit-filled diaper because the big H couldn't stand to miss a few minutes of the Hulk. And don't even get me started on that review of Blade 2.
I should add.. by Gwai Lo	Aug 16th, 2006 01:16:46 PM
I should add that I still like the idea of Phillipe better than Schrieber as Two Face. I don't care for Liev Schrieber at all, and while he might make a passable Harvey Dent he would be an uber-lame villain after the Two Face transformation.
I just saw Super Troopers for the first time and... by chien_sale	Aug 16th, 2006 01:21:57 PM
I have to say I liked this movie a lot just for the laid back humour a la Porky`s. It`s pretty different from the mainstream comedy in that it`s more about the spirit than a punchline at every at seconds like people are used to. However when these guys tried to get away from that and made the nauseating Club Dread it fucked big time. First because what we liked for first film was that Universe and that these guys were awesome so given that Club Dread was not just "guys having a ball" but more like a murder mystery with characters we didn`t give two shits about...heck you had the same actors with so annoying roles. But what was worst was Club Dread took the gross out Farelli Brothers approach and killed all there ever was compelling that these guys had. Club Dread made me fucking ill. It`s like going from the guys that did Animal House to the people that did The Date Movie. Anyway I hope they rebound for that Beer movie. Bear in mind I`m predicting a lot of gross out things, it seems to me they`re going to go for the spirit of Super Troopers.
I liked Club Dread. by Gwai Lo	Aug 16th, 2006 01:28:05 PM
It was everything a slasher spoof should be. Much better than any of the Scary Movie movies. I'm not sure why everyone seems to hate Club Dread and love Super Troopers, besides the fact that Club Dread goes for a few less gags in favor of some well staged deaths. But the funny characters were still there: Putman was hilarious, Juan and his infatuation with "Peeneelope", Farva as a masseuse, etc. Bill Paxton slumming it as a drunk Jimmy Buffet rip off. I will agree that Club Dread wasn't quite as funny as Super Troopers, few movies are, but I still think it's a good movie that has been sorely underrated for what seems like no reason at all.
Spiderhulk by rebel299	Aug 16th, 2006 01:33:12 PM
you know, if i had the time and money to go up to canada, i'd show you how a real man drinks. a threat of being on your 30th beer at 8 in the morning is nothing. just this last saturday i had a contest with a couple of friends. i tapped out after killing my second case when i realized it was noon on sunday. and for the record, most candien beer tastes like moose piss (or what i would assume moose piss would taste like). i'm not defending american big-brewery beer, because we all know how watered down it is. anyways, when it comes to drinking, don't start a fight you can't win buddy.
Harry was drunk, the audience was drunk... by MCVamp	Aug 16th, 2006 01:37:04 PM
Annnnnd so Beerfest was really that funny, eh? When you've got a living room full of drunks, Schindler's List can become "high comedy," so an entire theater full of drunks doesn't sound like a crowd that Broken Lizard's level of humor (somewhere well below The Kids in The Hall but above the cast of Mad TV) would fail to please.
Thanks, Harry! by slesl	Aug 16th, 2006 01:44:26 PM
Just wanted to say that "Beerfest" last night was AWESOME! My friend Ryan and I had a great time! It was his birthday and what better way for him to spend it than watching "Beerfest" with the guys from Broken Lizard? Thanks, Harry! You rule!
By the way, shouldn't some company create... by MCVamp	Aug 16th, 2006 01:45:06 PM
An "official beer" of drinking contests? Because let's face it, it's an uneven playing field. If two drinkers of equal ability face off with one drinking Budweiser and the other chugging Newcastle, it's painfully obvious that the Bud man is going to absolutely murder the other guy because he's drinking watered-down Clydesdale urine, which passes right through the innards and out the dick. Maybe Pete's or Samuel Adams could create "the official American competition beer" and other countries' brewmeisters could do the same. Or has this been done? For the record, I would nominate Heineken as an official competition beer. Tasteful enough to keep the mouth fresh, light enough to pass quickly through the system and induce further drinking, yet just strong enough to create a slight buzz once the contest gets really good. I'm not really a Heineken man, it just seems like a good universal starting point.
How many beers does it take to get Harry drunk? by whahoppa	Aug 16th, 2006 01:55:55 PM
Good thing he mentioned the 'nutritious yummies', while a non sequitor, that really took the sting away.
In England it's about... by Fugazi32	Aug 16th, 2006 01:57:40 PM
1)Stella Artois 2)Weed 3)Cocaine 4)Ketamine 5)Absinthe = WASTED!!!
I liked Club Dredd by lynxpro	Aug 16th, 2006 02:09:22 PM
And I've been on here since 1998.
Funnier than NACHO LIBRE? Well??? by McGsStepson	Aug 16th, 2006 02:32:36 PM
Harry seemed pretty enthusiastic about that one at the time of its release.
i dunked my ring in shiner by mocky_puppet	Aug 16th, 2006 02:52:15 PM
my only regret was that it was at the chicken and not dudd's. and harry, you're going off the deep end. go to church or something.
chien_sale = Club Dread raped me! by Spaz_Monkey	Aug 16th, 2006 03:00:18 PM
Man up, Nancy! It was a different movie with different characters? No fuckin way! Are you trying to tell me that Orson Welles didn't play Kane in every movie? What's next, actors will have range and attempt other roles?
Funnier than "Nacho Libre"? by Garbageman33	Aug 16th, 2006 03:01:16 PM
So was my last bowel movement.
^^Garbageman - it's called sarcasm by McGsStepson	Aug 16th, 2006 03:10:57 PM
Harry praised that film as if it was a comedy masterpiece when it arrived in June. And for the record my last bowel movement was funnier than your last bowel movement.
No Harry, You were right about "Dukes of Hazzard"... by BigTuna	Aug 16th, 2006 03:16:59 PM
What a shitfest. The worst film of 05'.
Club Dread was a spoof? by Lovecraftfan	Aug 16th, 2006 03:18:23 PM
Honeslty how was the movie a spoof. Just cause you make a slasher film doesnt mean its a spoof. Aside from maybe 5 jokes I didnt see anything remotely funny or satirical. I just completely missed the spoof part.
I'm not a fan of Broken Lizard... by Traumnovelle	Aug 16th, 2006 03:33:42 PM
...but I have to give Harry credit for suggesting people sneak alcohol into movie theaters. I've never brought BEER into a flick, but a flask or a pint of good whiskey or rum or something, YES. It makes shitty movies great and great movies orgasmic. So, kudos Harry. But I probably won't see Beerfest. Maybe on video or something.
Dang it, I thought that was sarcasm... by Garbageman33	Aug 16th, 2006 03:40:03 PM
But I couldn't be sure. Stupid sarcasm. So hard to detect. Now about last bowel movements: Mine thought it'd be super funny if it splashed toilet water into my bunghole. What'd yours do that was so dang amusing?
Spiderhulk... by Rearden	Aug 16th, 2006 03:40:54 PM
They play vintage trailer at the Drafthouse. It was the trailer for the original Strangebrew.
"I have lots of yummies in my fridge" by BobParr	Aug 16th, 2006 04:07:34 PM
Who fucking cares??? Does anyone write a worse review than Harry? I don't read Penthouse and I'm pretty sure it's bankrupt, but how did Harry get a job as a writer? Is Guccione crazy? I really think that we could pick 10 people off the street and nine of them could write a better review than Harry.
Once... by D	Aug 16th, 2006 04:32:49 PM
... me and my buddy drunk a bottle of wodka while at a screening of Kronenburg's Crash and I made sure everyone knew that scar on somebodys leg looks like a pussy. Thank you.
Club Dread is an obvious spoof by Gwai Lo	Aug 16th, 2006 04:37:44 PM
I don't see how anyone could miss it. Just because you didn't find it funny doesn't make it a straight horror film. It lampoons several horror conventions that I don't feel I need to point out, they were very obvious.
Damn! Another movie that blew Harry... by -guyinthebackrow	Aug 16th, 2006 05:11:00 PM
I wish movies would blow or perform a sex act on me. That'd be awesome. IGNORE ME!!!
BL could be funny, but they lack something important... by Negative Man	Aug 16th, 2006 05:17:56 PM
...comedy. TIMING!!! They have good ideas and set-ups that are humorous, but they can't execute 95% of their jokes. I don't know who the BL guys BJed to get a movie deal, but I bet it was a former frat brother who lucked into an Industry job with a little bit of pull. These guys provide direct to video level funny, not $10 a pop funny. Give STELLA a feature film, not these limp lizard idiots. Funny concepts, but man do they suck ass in execution.
Nacho Libre was horrible by rubensreviews	Aug 16th, 2006 05:51:52 PM
that movie was just bad...
Speaking of beer... by Orbots Commander	Aug 16th, 2006 06:24:33 PM
I bought a six pack of Stella Artois the other day for the first time. It tastes great...and it almost got me laid!
Yikes! What the heck kind of review was that!? by eraser_x	Aug 16th, 2006 06:25:34 PM
As Lawrence Taylor said in "The Waterboy": "... Which brings me to my second point, kids. Don't do crack."
fearlessjay rebuttal by guyincognito27	Aug 16th, 2006 06:28:17 PM
I'm sorry fearlessjay-but im gonna have to disagree with you. At what point does being a guy loves movies turn into a guy who loves shit? This is a guy (harry) who loves building his Hollywood clout by being in the front and back pocket of the studios so HE can make movies himself or receive some sort of monetary compensation for his glowingly positive reviews. This site is feeding all of us spectacular "inside pr controlled information." I love movies too, more than any other artistic medium, and i do not fucking go nuts over every movie i see just because it's a movie. QUite the contrary. I love seeing a movie that challenges me, excites me, teaches me something new about the world, and does it in a way that is unique and fresh. All of these "reporters," on this site, (cept for moriarty) are selling what the movie studios are providing them. I promise, that's a fact.
Not going to read it, but allow me to guess by VanLingoMungo	Aug 16th, 2006 06:50:18 PM
He loved it. It blew his mind, or blew him away, or something like that. Hilarious, laughing, genius, nephew, fiancee. Out.
Well... that was awkward... by Womb2dooM	Aug 16th, 2006 06:55:44 PM
That review was like one of those fucking annoying phone calls when you're at home, sober and sleeping to work the next day and one of your drunk mates calls up, trashed, splurting alcohol fused hilarities down the line that are only funny to him and company he currently keeps. Maybe I'll wait for the re-review soon ala' Armagedon & Godzilla where Harry confesses that he was caught up in the atmosphere and that the movie was actually kinda shit.
Tread lightly with Stella... by Traumnovelle	Aug 16th, 2006 07:29:52 PM
Stella, without a doubt, gives THE worst hangovers of any beer I've ever drank. Don't drink too much of it. Drink a few, five or six tops, then switch to something else. Seriously. True boozehounds know about this. The next morning your brain will feel like it was sitting out in the desert sun for too long. It's so nasty. Heed my words.
I'm usually a Heineken or Sam Adams guy myself by Orbots Commander	Aug 16th, 2006 08:05:54 PM
but I've found myself becoming something of a beer snob lately, going for the Becks and Stellas. Anyway, in true underdog fashion, the comely young lady over my place seemed to quite enjoy the Stellas until, after a makeout session, promplty passed into drunken dreamland with a heavy snore. Oowa-oowa-oowa-oowaaaaaaaaaaa. Bummer.
does harry get whiskey dick? by Colonel Kane	Aug 16th, 2006 08:38:21 PM
you heard me right
Orbots by Colonel Kane	Aug 16th, 2006 08:40:28 PM
A Beer snob doesn't drink shitty stella or shittier becks; he drinks belgian ales try that buzz on for size
Sounds Pretty Fucking Gay by The Ender	Aug 16th, 2006 09:00:17 PM
No Thanks
X4 by AlwaysThere	Aug 16th, 2006 11:00:04 PM
What you think about that, bitch?!
It`s funny that you mention rape spaz_monkey... by chien_sale	Aug 16th, 2006 11:23:21 PM
Because I had the same feeling as having being raped after seeing Club Dread! It was ackward, not funny, gross, it was loud, not funny, as nauseating as Freddy Got Fingered, not funny. As for your "not playing the same characters" etc... being a good thing, the fact is, what made Super Troopers work was that Universe and those characters. And that can`t be repeated. It`s like having these guys from Porky`s suddenly being in another movie, with a different subject matter playing characters we hate. After the initial "ah ha, that`s the same guy from..." you realise that you don;t fucking care about losers on a god damn island and god damn Reagay music. It wouldn`t be the kids playing pranks on Porky`s, it wouldn`t be the same chemistry. It`s not because Harrison Ford was awesome in Indiana Jones that i`m gonna find him awesome in that buddy cop movie with Joss Harnett!
BASEketball started these movies! by Orionsangels	Aug 17th, 2006 12:17:52 AM
A group losers form a team and do the impossible. Win the big championship game of some odd sport at the end. BASEketball, Dodgeball, Beerfest. I know I'm forgetting another one. They all follow this same premise and all three have the samethings in common. Funny names and logos for fake teams and leagues and hot cheerleaders. How many times are they going to redo this tired formula?
Club Dread WAS a piece of shit by chickychow	Aug 17th, 2006 12:18:05 AM
spoof or not, straight-up horror film, straight-up comedy, don't care what you call it, that shit sucked lots of ass. Super Troopers was no big fuckin deal either. Didn't see Dukes of Hazzards, but I'd bet my balls it's a motherfuckin misery to be in that movie's clasp. The only regard I have for Jay Chandesakraharker is he directed a few Arrested Developments, so can't be too eternally pissed at the guy. And yeah, Im drunk right now.
Beer Snob = drinking Becks and Stella? by chickychow	Aug 17th, 2006 12:21:04 AM
wow, you're a fuckin connoisseur man. Why don't you just go nuts and buy some Heinekens or that amazing import, Corona.
Yummies? by OhDaesu	Aug 17th, 2006 12:55:56 AM
As in 3 birthday cakes, 4 fried turkeys and a bucket of lard. Or as you call it, a nice afternoon snack.
Harry, I will never trust your reviews again. by heywood jablomie	Aug 17th, 2006 12:56:18 AM
This guy would come in his pants over the film on my teeth.
'Beer League' is gonna be better! Two Words! by Orionsangels	Aug 17th, 2006 01:06:23 AM
The magic that is the ageless 'Ralph Macchio'! Boxoffice Gold! Plus the poster for Beer League is hotter as well. http://img100.imageshack.us/im g100/8127/beerlegslw9.jpg
don't drink stella with women by Lost Prophet	Aug 17th, 2006 04:05:04 AM
Fucking hell- its actively called "wifebeater" in britain. And before anyone asks/ slates me this is because of Paul Gascoigne: ace footballer, perennial drunk, misogynist wifebeater, total geordie moron. His beer of choice before beating the wife was Stella.
Fuck that... by Harysuxafat1	Aug 17th, 2006 04:42:09 AM
Stella shit and grab yourself a Chimay or a Fuller's ESB for fucks sake.
I saw a bloke drinking Smirnoff Ice by DirkD13"	Aug 17th, 2006 05:13:24 AM
In the pub last night, seriously gents, don't EVER disgrace yourself like that man did.
was he underage? by Lost Prophet	Aug 17th, 2006 05:27:52 AM
or gay? There is no place where alcopops are acceptable fuel for fully grown straight men.
STELLA aka 'Wifebeater' by Pale Rider	Aug 17th, 2006 08:40:13 AM
A relative was over from good ol' Scotland recently, and when we were out drinking, he made a comment about how many establishments seemed to be selling Stella as a premium beer. He explained that over there, Stella is considered a bottom feeder beer, sold in most grocery stores at a cheap price. It is called wifebeater beer, and is the weapon of choice for Scottish rednecks. On par over here with Schlitz, etc...
10 best beers in the world (in my humble opinion) by Buzzsawlenny	Aug 17th, 2006 09:06:10 AM
1. Newcastle Brown Ale 2. Sammy Smith's (nut brown or oatmeal stout) 3. Guinness Stout 4. Magic Hat #9 5. Bass ale 6. Sierra Nevada India pale ale 7. Jamacian red stripe 8. Dous Equis (with lime) 9. Samuel Adams boston lager 10. Blue moon there are others but that is my usual rotation..can be changed based on situation and/or season BUT THE WORST TASTING BEER OF ALL TIME IS BUDWESIER king of beers? sheesh time for a coup..a bloody one...G
This Is Funny... by ZombieSolutions	Aug 17th, 2006 10:56:13 AM
How?
Wonder if Harry took his nephew along and got him drunk by Atticus Finch	Aug 17th, 2006 11:25:40 AM
Hey, he took the kid to The Omen, why not this?
I wish America had beers as good as Europe by white owl	Aug 17th, 2006 11:39:31 AM
That's one of few things this great country is not number one in. What do we have? A LITER OF FARVA BITCH!
so, who's bringing rubber snakes to the premiere by durhay	Aug 17th, 2006 12:19:35 PM
of Snakes on a Plane? Toss them around for a scream or two.
The Best Beer In The World?? by la_sith	Aug 17th, 2006 02:11:52 PM
Best I've ever had? Trappist Rochefort #10. None of you sissies know beer until you've drank with the Trappist monks in Belgium!
club dread is funny by slappy jones	Aug 17th, 2006 04:28:50 PM
i don't get the hate.
Harry should stop writing "reviews"... by bottleimp	Aug 17th, 2006 04:34:20 PM
...because they aren't ever real critiques of the movies. All he seems to do is write about he and his friends blah blah blah some pointless crap about his fiancee blah blah blah Harry's eating healthy blah blah blah and wrapping it up with some bizzare sexual innuendo and some hyperbole about the film he saw being "the best film of the summer/year/century." The quality of writing is also horrible (can't blame it on being drunk, Harry, unless ALL your reviews were written while innebriated), with arbitrary punctuation and basic grammar mistakes that wouldn't pass in a junior high remedial English class. Leave the writing of reviews to those who can form an honest critique, or at least those who can write.
WHY DO WE KEEP READING THIS SITE? by guyincognito27	Aug 17th, 2006 06:51:35 PM
I thought i would add more bit to my rant about the the sellout gang of "reporters" that work for this site. From Harry's review: "I have no idea how funny this movie will be to you. But for me
The site is a fucking joke anymore??? by Forestal	Aug 17th, 2006 11:18:53 PM

RE: If Harry's new woman is 'code'named "Yoko"... by Droogie Alex	Aug 17th, 2006 11:46:18 PM
New woman? Who'd be the old woman? Better make that "only". And please stop telling us whenever you take a shower.
Maybe Harry thinks he's the John Lennon of geeks by Forestal	Aug 18th, 2006 12:03:09 AM

ping pong in ding dang by stuntrocker	Aug 18th, 2006 03:16:45 AM

Look there's Willie!!! by stuntrocker	Aug 18th, 2006 03:26:14 AM
My all redhead team for Potfest... Willie Nelson, Harry Knowles, Prince Harry and a Daywalker to be named later.
If Harry was drunk when he typed this... by Mr. Fist	Aug 18th, 2006 06:37:25 PM
He had to have cleaned it up some. Or typed rrrreally slowly. Last time I typed something drunk, I spent part of the next day trying to decipher what I had typed.
Borefest by MarkoOhNo	Aug 19th, 2006 03:11:00 PM
Was I the first to say it?? lol
Buzzsawlenny by hktelemacher	Aug 19th, 2006 04:11:27 PM
Have you sampled all the beers in the world to compile your list? I count you therefore lucky and unlucky. But in my humble opinion, both Murphy's red and stout beat the shit out of Newcastle and Guinness, and I love Guinness like a man possessed. The Firestone beers are my new favorite thing, but I'm not sure how far reaching they are out of California. Hite is a heckuva Korean beer if you go for sushi or something, much better than the Kirin or Asahi most people chugalug. And if you're just drinking to get fucked up with your buddies - I find Miller Lite the proudest of the lowbrow domestic brews. That's my two cents. But I agree with you about Bud - pure piss, but still better than Coors.
BEER! by supermonkey	Aug 21st, 2006 09:42:21 AM
It's all about the Olde E bithches..the Olde E!! I tips it for my homies on a regular basis don'cha know?!
not understanding this love of bass by Lost Prophet	Aug 21st, 2006 11:04:59 AM
It is pretty low rent piss. And YB- what about the catnip?
I know it makes me less of a man, but Guinness? Yick. by Chastain-86	Aug 21st, 2006 01:49:55 PM
Just way, way too thick and malty for my tastes. And that's not saying I'm a Coors Light kind of guy, either... but if those are the two extremes, give me something in the middle. Bass is alright. Sierra Nevada is not. Red Stripe's good, Kiltlifter is best. Most varieties of Sam Adams is not. (More on that later) And anybody that puts down Miller High Life is just fooling themselves -- it's not that bad. (It's not great, but it's pretty good, AND dirt-cheap.) Killian's is okay, so is Shiner, but give me a case of Lone Star when I can get it. Oh, and one last thing -- you can keep your Mike's and all the other fruity-flavored stuff, unless it's Sam Adams Strawberry Blonde. That's some good stuff.
can't beat the catnip tit milk by Lost Prophet	Aug 22nd, 2006 06:38:44 AM
but the hangovers.... brrrrrr.
FOSTERS IS RAT'S PISS! YUCK! by Fugazi32	Aug 23rd, 2006 03:36:37 PM
It's all about Stella, Super Tennants or Red Stripe!
Sad by artie langes nut	Aug 24th, 2006 01:26:49 PM
This site makes me sad lately, there just is no cool news anywhere other than harry writing reviews for movies no one cares about
Just saw Beerfest today with my lady by WacksOnWacksOff	Aug 28th, 2006 02:20:26 AM
God this movie was stupid! But I'd be lyin' if I said I didn't laugh my ass off. My favorite part were the Germans. All they had to do was talk, and I was pretty much laughing out loud like a stupid American. Sadly, I recommended this movie to friends, so fear not Lizard haters. These guys are no Monty Python, nor are they consistent. But I like them just enough to make trash like this and get rich -- ain't that the American dream? They will live to make another movie, despite the poor reception they consistently get.
...FIRST? by Lewster3000	Sep 19th, 2006 02:32:43 AM
lol
Beerfest... by RetroActive	Sep 19th, 2006 07:40:53 AM
had is slow moments, but when that guy got kicked into the beer vat and drowned tryng to drink his way out...hilarious.
Didn't go down so well in the UK... by darkm@tt	Oct 1st, 2006 02:56:42 PM
might that be because Beerfest sucked ass? checj this English review: http://darkmatt.blogspot.com/2 006/09/film-review-beerfest.ht ml
It's getting interesting.. by Banned_Aid	Nov 18th, 2006 09:30:55 AM
In thread 21000 As a result I emailed Moriarty to see if Timetravel can be done on this site withouth the bannings. I know it is a longshot, but hey I had to ask.
Dude.. by Banned_Aid	Nov 18th, 2006 12:30:28 PM
I created an Orcus ID over at the zone and spoke with seppukudkurosawa. Were gonna get the band back together :)
Wolpack, come over to the zone.... by Banned_Aid	Nov 18th, 2006 02:07:19 PM
http://zone.aintitcool.com/vie wtopic.php?p=304460#304460 Apparently there is a time traveller reunion
So banned aid doesn't travel anymore? by just pillow talk	Apr 9th, 2008 10:07:12 AM
Saw this again last night, and it amuses me quite a bit.

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Harry is drunk off his ass and writing about BEERFEST!!!

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