Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Harry loves PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST.

good by TABALF	Jun 29th, 2006 05:10:33 AM
can't wait. Where's everybody else?
The first one was waaay too long. by Shermdawg	Jun 29th, 2006 05:13:18 AM
It should have been an hour or so shorter. This coming from someone who usually likes long flicks.
Can't wait for this by Babyshamble	Jun 29th, 2006 05:19:39 AM
If England get to the world cup final, the weekend of the 7th will be frickin awesome. It would definitely hurt POTC's sunday box office in the UK though.
I love adventure movies by CuervoJones	Jun 29th, 2006 05:23:35 AM
The first Pirates (not the Polanski one) was pure fun. They don
one week today... by thegoldencalf	Jun 29th, 2006 05:32:44 AM
...to the minute i will be sitting in my seat, popcorn in hand, waiting for the room to darken and for this glorious tale to continue to unfold in front of me. can't wait. i can't FUCKING wait i tell you!
Depp by jasper Stillwell	Jun 29th, 2006 05:35:15 AM
"...Johnny just magically pulled Jack Sparrow out of Keith Richrads arse..." Its a great film and I love watching Depp but I always feel like he's in a different film to everyone else. And he's nearly awlasy miscast. Watchable but miscast. Have you SEEN the real Ed Wood, who's ,more of a Jeff Daniels type? From Hell? Jeeezus? So who;s the next rock star impersonation we can look forward to seeing? After Michael Jackson in 'Wonka', Richards in this, David Bowie as Sweeney Todd? May not sound like it but I'm actually quite looking forward to this
Totaly agree Shermdawg... by PurityOfEssence	Jun 29th, 2006 05:35:24 AM
The first one is too damn long. It was cluttered, to me at least. I maintain that the first film would have been a flop if it weren't for Depp. He is the only part of the film that is really entertaining. Probably because it wasn't at all expected. Knightly was the modernized and tough Damsel and Bloom had a somewhat boring role that was overshadowed by the utterly bizare Jack Sparrow. The first time I saw the film I thought that Depp was playing the character as if it were a big joke on the film makers, yet it stuck.
I really didn't enjoy the first one that much by Giant Ape Balls	Jun 29th, 2006 05:50:04 AM
Am I just a boring old fart?
POTC by emeraldboy	Jun 29th, 2006 05:50:55 AM
I walked into that film, not knowing what expect. That film was best film of summer 2002 and by absolute mile. Depps entrance was one of the coolest things i have ever seen and from that point this was Depps movie and he owned it. Dead mans chest looks amazing. Cant wait to see Bill nighy as davy jones according to insiders this is film is going to be the biggest summer and this means bad nes fo supes.
What's with all the swearing? by Trazadone	Jun 29th, 2006 06:08:15 AM
You know, swearing in every other sentence kind of takes away your credibility. You sound like you're 15-years old. "Why is the
Harry. Can you please. Stop. by eeeor	Jun 29th, 2006 06:23:00 AM
With the Damn. Sentence Fragments? Do you ever. Bother reading. Over. Your articles before. Posting them? "Like
It's Ray Harryhausen's B-Day! by Hal2814	Jun 29th, 2006 06:45:12 AM
I was seriously underwhelmed by the first Pirates flick, so I'll set sail with diminished expectations, matey, when I check out this new one. Heck, I may love it, who knows? It couldn't be worse than Singer's Superman crap-fest. In much bigger news, it's master of fantasy Ray Harryhausen's birthday, today! The genuis of stop motion thrills turned 86. C'mon, AICN, give the man a proper salute on the site today!
Swearing is an intellectual crutch for the inarticulate by CellarDoor	Jun 29th, 2006 06:53:15 AM
You cunt. Anyway, this film is review proof. It's the only film that everyone I know wants to see, regardless of their age or taste. And i'm looking forward to it as well so long as it's plot is trimmed and svelt. The first film was a bit bloated but still highly enjoyable. Arr!
CellarDoor... by Cat_Corporation	Jun 29th, 2006 07:06:51 AM
Oh how I laughed. If you're not a fellow Brit, you swear like one.
yeah but 2.5 hours? by mikey mike	Jun 29th, 2006 07:09:49 AM
why are movies getting so long nowadays man. damn you peter jackson
Harry, wash your mouth out, you Damn trash-mouth! by moondoggy2u	Jun 29th, 2006 07:16:18 AM

Emeraldboy - POTC1 came out in 2003! by The Equalizer	Jun 29th, 2006 07:22:46 AM
And what fun it was! Probably the most purely entertaining film I've seen since Indy and The Last Crusade.
After seeing that Snorefest Supes Returns last night by future help	Jun 29th, 2006 07:50:55 AM
i have NO DOUBT that POTC 2 will OWN the Summer. nooooooo doubt.
What gave me away? by CellarDoor	Jun 29th, 2006 08:00:52 AM

so Harry likes a film... what does that mean? by HypeEndsHere	Jun 29th, 2006 08:05:09 AM
and who would think to compare ILM and Weta and their characters as if they are in combat? you're a weird fucking human being.
Babyshamble by chopstyx1	Jun 29th, 2006 08:09:01 AM
If England get to the world cup final - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha . Never gonna happen. More chance of English people being un-arrogant for 5 minutes.
chopstyx1 by Giant Ape Balls	Jun 29th, 2006 08:11:15 AM
Scottish I presume?
Looks better than the first by Giant Ape Balls	Jun 29th, 2006 08:19:08 AM
Maybe because they've concentrated on the right character this time.
Could POTC be some kind of Simbad of a new era by riouxda	Jun 29th, 2006 08:22:47 AM
Although I wasn't impressed with the first pirate movie, I still want to see the second one. I must say that I saw the first one at a drive-in and it started raining in the middle of the movie so, I thought it was long but, it might have been because of the rain. Also, Jack Sparrow wasn't like I was expecting him...I didn't think he would be some kind of goofy pirate. Anyway, I was thinking that the POTC movie could be some kind of Simbad for the new generation. Adventures, magic, strange creatures, etc. It might not be exactly the same as Simbad but, the feeling is there!
Mori may be the site's #1 critic, Harry, but... by Roguewriter	Jun 29th, 2006 08:34:08 AM
... when you get this excited about a flick, I just can't help but get carried away by it. Terrific review. I am champing at the bit to see this one!! My wife and I talked about finding a date-night to catch SUPERMAN, but they've gotten so rare this summer, I think we're better off saving the night out for PIRATES 2. Keep up the good work, Harry!
Hmmmm by KubrickFan69	Jun 29th, 2006 08:34:25 AM
I liked the first film but c'mon, Depp's Sparrow was an entertaining character, and I love Depp as an actor, the man's talented.. but people are giving him WAY too much praise on this one. Settle down. Sparrows not the second coming.. Glad to see you liked it Harry. Alot of good word trickling in and the more good i read the happier i get.
The fact that Harry likes this movie means one thing... by JohnGalt06	Jun 29th, 2006 09:05:56 AM
it was not directed by Brett Ratner. That seems to be his biggest concern for any movie, as Harry is the easiest-to-please movie fan in the world. So who cares if he likes POTC? I have every reason to suspect POTC2 will be great and I have absolutely no doubt (after watching Singer's Superman, which actually felt like it was directed by Ratner) that Depp and Co. will be the biggest hit of the summer by a mile.
So... um did u like it? by flamingeyebrows	Jun 29th, 2006 09:06:36 AM
Seriously tho Cap Jack and the original POTC kicked ass. But somehow the monster/Davy's crew design for DMC never tickled my fancy. And someone pls tell me that they ain't trying to pair up Eliz and Jack together in this movie.(I sware i saw them almost kiss in the trailer) Cz thats just ain't right. She is Will's, People!!!
In answer, CellarDoor... by Cat_Corporation	Jun 29th, 2006 09:07:41 AM
The particular use of the C-word of course!! Only Britons can use it with such blunt authority. Well done (salutes).
Anyone know the cliffhangers? Post 'em please. by Mahaloth	Jun 29th, 2006 09:15:40 AM
I want spoilers. My guess? Jack dies, goes to Hades, and sees Barbosa.
The cliffhanger is.. by Cumlauncher	Jun 29th, 2006 09:25:22 AM
Will your mom want a second go round or not on my purple vein laden piledriver??? Fuckin Harry, that was the most slapdash review I've read in awhile, Aside from the Depp dickriding, the balls you have to assume John Knoll has it in the bag for FX is ridiculous. I would scream PLANT if I didn't know that all the theaters cater to you for advance screenings and provide you with a garbage bag full of popcorn before each film. So when you see an IMAX movie, do they upgrade it to plastic kiddie pool full of popcorn?
Thank God for this series by performingmonkey	Jun 29th, 2006 09:30:45 AM
This is the one movie this year I actually cared about being good. The first movie managed to recapture what was great about FUN movies of the past such as Temple of Doom, the original SW trilogy and brought it into the 21st Century, proving that it's still possible to make a truly fantastic blockbuster movie that doesn't have to piss you off with boring characters, mindless symbolism bullshit, action sequences that mean nothing apart from an excuse to show off what the effects department can do etc. I thought Kong was going to be like this, but it became a little too drawn out to be 'fun'. It didn't feel like the rollercoaster ride that it should have (granted there are some phenomenally EXCELLENT parts of Kong). POTC:TCOTBP is one of the best movies of the last 10 years. If the sequels come close to recapturing that I will be very happy indeed.
As sequels go, is it as good as "Mummy Returns" Harry? by Chastain-86	Jun 29th, 2006 09:38:33 AM
Do you hear me? You will NEVER, EVER live down that review as long as I draw breath and can move my fingers over the keyboard.
Glad this is an improvement on the fist... by brycemonkey	Jun 29th, 2006 09:40:44 AM
I liked the first one but there was room for improvement. It seems like they have pulled it off and I'm glad. Pirates Rule! Oh and Harry, that Avatar will give me nightmares, yikes!
'FIRST!' obviously... by brycemonkey	Jun 29th, 2006 09:41:31 AM

POTC 1 was too long, too bloated, too boring by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 09:50:43 AM
But I still liked it and am supremely jazzed for this one!
Too Long!? by Cumlauncher	Jun 29th, 2006 09:55:42 AM
Oh yeah far too long, would you prefer the 100 minutes of Terminator 3? Maybe the 92 minutes of Superman IV? When the filmmakers craft just amazing characters for us to hang with (POTC,LOTR,SUPES RETURNS fuck haters!,Jurassic Park) then let us stay in their world for as long as they want. They call movies pure escapism, but all today's moviegoers want to do is "escape" to the parking lot in an hour and forty. Makes me sick.
"Pirates of the Rear End: No Man's Chest"? by jollysleeve	Jun 29th, 2006 09:57:30 AM
What the fuck does this even mean? I understand Harry was trying to make some kind of sexual pun, but that's about all I could glean. The beginning sort of made sense, but the second half renders the whole thing into nonsense.
I hope this lives up to hype/expectations. by minderbinder	Jun 29th, 2006 10:09:23 AM
I'd kill for this to be as good as the original (some reviews have said better??). So far some absolute raves, and a couple positive with reservations (too long, too dependent on SFX, too confusing). Can't wait for this thing to come out, my most anticipated flick of the year. And Harry...did you forget to mention Orlando in this one? You talk about "problem children" and then only mention Kiera...did you forget to finish your review?
The first movie was by Mechasheeva	Jun 29th, 2006 10:11:35 AM
definitely too long, and just felt messy, like the filmmakers were throwing everything they could think of on the screen and hoping some if it would stick. For most people, including me, almost all of it did! All I ask from this sequel is that it's more refined, and retains the same ridiculous joy that made the original so awesome. From the early reviews, sounds like they nailed it. Can't wait.
@Cumlauncher - it's not the length itself by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 10:12:22 AM
the problem is what they do with that length. A film isn't a world. It's not a novel. It can really derail itself if it "lets us hang out with the characters" (your words) too long. POTC 1 lost all momentum by the end, and when you're running on fumes at the finish, it spoils the whole movie.
@jolly sleeve - you're right about Harry's porn title by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 10:14:18 AM
I got excited and thought he had nailed a really good joke for the first half, but the second ruined it. Pirates of the Rear-End: Every Man's Chest would make more sense. Plus, the no man's chest thing just started getting conflated with Keira's flat chest in my mind. Is that what you were going for Harry? No chest? That's not a good porn title.
sorry babyshamble but.. by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 10:16:25 AM
we're getting a '98 rematch. No doubt about it.. did you see that France/Spain game? Zidane friggin OWNED IT. Ronaldo v Zidane in the finals beeyotch! and I can't wait for this movie, I watch POTC1 almost on a monthly or tri-weekly basis. Not biweekly, that's too much for me. But yall get the gist.
lol dannychico by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 10:17:58 AM
pirates of the rear end: no man's chest sounds like a GAY porn title to me.. once ya think about it. Rear end... no chest..? It all fits. wink wink nudge nudge
As cool as Kiera is, that title does fit by Terry_1978	Jun 29th, 2006 10:20:31 AM
You've seen her nude stint in Domino, she does have somewhat of an ironing board coupled with mosquito bites thing going on. She's still cool though.
The poo-filled diaper situation during THE HULK by Badger999	Jun 29th, 2006 10:22:07 AM
But was it good enough that you'd rather let a child stew in his own soiled diaper, rather than miss a few minutes to change him?
White Owl by hank henshaw	Jun 29th, 2006 10:22:26 AM
Brazil vs France is the quarter finals game, this Saturday. I do hope Brazil gets routed at some point. Will it happen? Anyways, I'm looking foward to Pirates.
It's my gift, it's my curse. Who am I? by CellarDoor	Jun 29th, 2006 10:25:23 AM
Spiderman. Ha, I wish. I'm just a bit sweary. I think the first POTC bumbled to its conclusion but am loving the fact that people still enjoyed it. Like I said, the sequel is impervious to criticsm as the first film was impervious to its own flaws. Why? Because you can't help but get swept along by the sense of fun. Which is something that distinguished the Spiderman films from the other comic-book movies. What surprises me is that it's Gore Verbinski and Michael Bay that are responsible! Wonders will never cease.
Do you need to see the first POTC to get this movie? by Engineer_at_peac	Jun 29th, 2006 10:26:11 AM
Because I haven't, though I kind of want tosee this. I like the Cthulu/Zoidberg pirate guy.
Drink Up Me Harties Yo Ho! by The_Bat	Jun 29th, 2006 10:28:06 AM
Super Man Who? Jack Sparrow and A Scaner Darkly are the only films I care about this summer. I have watched the original POTC 4 times this week. With and without commentary. Orlando's charater is a stick in the mud and he needs to be to Ground Jack. People are being too hard on him. He does what he needed to do. I had given up on Disney until POTC and I am really glad that they are reviving a genre that has been dead in the water since CUT THROAT ISLAND killed pirate movies years ago. Yo Ho a Pirates Life for Me!
It's my gift, it's my curse -- Frank Fuckin Black!! by Roguewriter	Jun 29th, 2006 10:31:55 AM
I wish to hell people would never again give any credit to SPIDER-MAN for that line. "It's my gift... it's my curse" was definitively used in the pilot episode of TV's lamentably long-lost MILLENNIUM, uttered by the single greatest character actor of all time, Lance Henriksen! GAAAAAAAHHH!!! I can't bear it when cool movies get lazy and rip off great taglines from that, confident no one will recall the origin!!! Sob... we miss you, Frank... ;)
holy shit i must have spaced out by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 10:32:16 AM
sorry but I'm still on a high after that Zidane goal in quarters. honestly though... what team that is still alive could beat Brazil? Perhaps Germany+their fans.. not argentina. sorry for the mistake.
"LIKE that," not "from that..." I need thorazine... by Roguewriter	Jun 29th, 2006 10:33:45 AM
What do you see, Frank? What do you see? "I see... a terrific update of a stale superhero franchise... swiping my coolest line."
Fireflys by The_Bat	Jun 29th, 2006 10:35:31 AM
Thanks Harry for mentioning the fireflies. That was one of my favorites parts of the ride as well. I always wanted to be the old man rocking on his porch. And I am a little old white girl.
Terry, it still makes no sense. by jollysleeve	Jun 29th, 2006 10:36:14 AM
Even if we went with your interpretation, then the second half of the title would have to be something like "a man's chest." But it's not. It's "no man's chest," meaning the movie has no men's chests in it. Again, WTF? Couple this with the gay-porn first half, and you have... well, you have a typical Knowles review. Seriously, does anyone else get the impression that Harry devotes no more time in writing his reviews than the average talkbacker devotes to a single post?
"weve got stahs directing our faaate.. and we're prayin by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 10:36:46 AM
it's not too laate... Millenniuuum!" now why wasn't that the theme song for the series?
Seen it... by TELF	Jun 29th, 2006 10:36:57 AM
It's fine. Really fun. But has precisely the same flaws and virtues of the original. It is messy, unfocused, overlong and inconsistent (performance, direction, everything...). But it is also tremendous fun, subversive, darker than you would expect and looks incredible. There isn't much original going on and certain plot elements are merely retreaded tropes from the first film with different antagonists. And the ending is a bit poor. It just kind of stops. There is no real tension or peril cos it's always taking the piss out of itself so it doesn't really build to a proper climax. Hard to talk about without spoilage. Bloom and Beanpole are still weak (he in particular. just a big snooze. I saw it in London and there were some boos for him. But there is a big laugh where SPOILER Davenport kicks sand in his face SPOILER). But it is a totally worthy sequel if you like the first.
Singo should have taken a few notes by DrPain	Jun 29th, 2006 10:37:01 AM
on how to make an exciting, FUN action adventure film. Cus that aint what Superman Returns was. Go Pirates!
I AM PUMPED FOR PIRATES by isildur29	Jun 29th, 2006 10:38:47 AM
but the fact harry liked it alot scares me based on his current record of liking movies I was not so fond of
that's the answer to your question jollysleeve by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 10:38:49 AM
yes man I've gotten that impersonation after the blade 2 review
SINGER should have taken a few notes by DrPain	Jun 29th, 2006 10:38:51 AM

er.. impression by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 10:39:26 AM
mr knowles I demand an edit button!
Superman takes itself to seriously by The_Bat	Jun 29th, 2006 10:39:51 AM
Good movie but only worth seeing in Imax 3D. Bring on JACK!!!
self hatred/ K Richards by gride9000	Jun 29th, 2006 10:43:20 AM
It was just a year or two ago, when I'd not been out of bed for weeks. Lost in a pool of my own spitle and self defeat, I gathered the strength to "get out and do something". I went with a old friend to POTCTCOTBP and my life was perminantly changed. Jack Sparrow is my whole reason for living. Work, food, sex all meaning less. I hate people, but pirates.... no prob. If this movie sucks, I will kill at least 26 people. Half will be women and children. But hey! At least there will be one less miserable slob obsessed with a pirate movie wraped up in a keith richards metaphor.
How are going kill them? by The_Bat	Jun 29th, 2006 10:45:13 AM
Marron them or Keal Hall?
Curse my bad spelling! by The_Bat	Jun 29th, 2006 10:46:11 AM
Maroon or keel?
Sorry Rogue... by CellarDoor	Jun 29th, 2006 10:48:25 AM
Sorry Lance. No, wait a minute. He was in Alien vs Predator wasn't he? Apology revoked!
speaking of keith by gride9000	Jun 29th, 2006 10:53:51 AM
ABC News - July 28, 2006
Orlando is an albatross around this movie's neck by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 10:58:11 AM
He fucking sucks. I'm sick of people defending him. He's only good as an elf - you know, when he's SUPPOSED to be boring. The argument that he needs to play straight to Depp's Captain J is ridiculous. You actually can have two charasmatic leads. Lethal Weapon. Butch Cassidy. Every buddy cop movie.
disney's only franchise by KoozyK	Jun 29th, 2006 11:02:04 AM
it's true. disney doesn't really have much else to go on. everything else they've made (themselves) has failed or not caught on with the masses. they'll continue this until there's nothing left to bleed.
by cyberskunk	Jun 29th, 2006 11:02:43 AM
The only time I remember seeing someone keel hauled in a sea movie was in a B&W version of Mutiny on the Bounty, where the captain was played by Charles Laughton (I had to check on his name). I thought, "Oh, so that's what it looks like."
Do not blame The Lance for AVP!! by Roguewriter	Jun 29th, 2006 11:07:04 AM
A brotha's gotta keep food on the table, yo. He's in his late 60s and he has a toddler, so there you have it. Seriously, obligatory Bruce Campbell worship aside, has there ever been a cooler working actor than Lance? Yeah, he makes way too much garbage... but any time he shows up, he jacks up the watchability factor exponentially. Even AVP (just for his bad-ass death scene). Lance is the man. Why ain't HE getting offered roles like Davy Jones... or Bootstrap Bill?!
What suits do Pirates like to wear? by Turd Furgusen	Jun 29th, 2006 11:07:25 AM
Arrrrmani!
Depp is this Franchise by Turd Furgusen	Jun 29th, 2006 11:12:40 AM
I agree with the other posters that Depp totally made this movie. I went to POTC with a couple of buddies because it was too hot to hang outside and AC sounded really good. Pirates was the only movie that looked worth while. When I saw Captain Jack Sparrow make his entrance, I was hooked. No pun intended. If salary is the measure of an Actor's worth in Hollywood, Jonny Depp is the one of the least appreciated actor's working today.
Orlando is not robert... by The_Bat	Jun 29th, 2006 11:14:03 AM
Redford, Paul Newman or Mel Gibson to be sure. But if you need a pretty boy he is one. He not a great actor but who would you cast as Will Turner instead? You can't not have him and he doesn't take away from the film that much. Hey Maybe Lance could play him.
Does anyone else think Kevin McNally (aka Mr. Gibbs)... by JohnGalt06	Jun 29th, 2006 11:19:37 AM
looks and sounds a helluva lot like that guy who played Scarlett's dad in GONE WITH THE WIND and the uncle in ITS A WONDERFUL LIFE. I mean, seriously, the resemblence is uncanny...
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Davy Jones R'lyeh wgah'nagl f by Prof.Ikamono	Jun 29th, 2006 11:32:22 AM
Cheer up Sleepy Jean, indeed.
Sadly, John Knoll will not get an Oscar by Razorback	Jun 29th, 2006 11:35:23 AM
The Academy hates ILM due to its success. They will give the Oscar to some crappy effect created by Weta.
Totally underwhelmed by the first POTC, but looking by Lando Griffin	Jun 29th, 2006 11:44:52 AM
forward to this one. Although they really should've cast Peter SARRRsGgARRD as a pirate named, oddly enough, Peter SARRRsgARRRd. They could've even did a little product placement for Peter Saarsgaards SARS Guard.
Orlando Bloom would be on my wall if I was gay by JackDonkey	Jun 29th, 2006 11:46:27 AM
and he almost makes me gay in a strange way, especially as an elf in LOTR
Thanks, Harry!. And too long?!. by barrybgb	Jun 29th, 2006 11:47:18 AM
Thanks for the great review, Harry. You've never let me down before. I loved Supes' return, and I know I'll love this. As for people complaining it's too long, well, I'm glad. Big epic films like this I want to be at least over 2 hours.
Thank God this World Cup business... by Lost Skeleton	Jun 29th, 2006 11:47:28 AM
is wrapping up so we can see some good ole flicks. I loved Supes but less bring on the Kracken! I also hear that Lady in the Water and Miami Vice are good too! July is making up for a suck ass June.
Do they even mention The Locker? by Squashua	Jun 29th, 2006 11:48:02 AM
Or is that the chest? Davy Jones' Locker!
SUMMON THE KRAKEN! by Rindain	Jun 29th, 2006 11:48:56 AM
This movie is filled with classic lines. The quotability factor will push this film to upwards of $400 million.
Flynn and Reagan were both in Desperate Journey by Uncapie	Jun 29th, 2006 11:50:32 AM
Ah, ha!
Im gonna get it for this.Orlando is a fine screen actor by Teamwak	Jun 29th, 2006 11:54:10 AM
Am I the only one to think so? I really liked him in Kingdom of Heaven. Hell, I really liked that movie too! I liked him in LOTR, Elizabethtown, Pirates, and Troy. So there! Let the roasting begin...
"Orlando is an albatross around this movie's neck" by Engineer_at_peac	Jun 29th, 2006 12:00:10 PM
Way I remember it, an albatross was a ship's good luck till some idiot killed it. Yes. I've read a poem. Try not to be surprised.
Harry Loves TROOP BEVERLY HILLS... by heywood jablomie	Jun 29th, 2006 12:00:12 PM
Harry Loves WILDBERRIES GO TO PRAGUE. Harry Loves BIO DOME 2. Harry Loves BLOODSPORT 6. Harry Loves WITCHBOARD 9. Harry Loves the Tiny Little Crumbs That You Pick Out of Your Tear Duct in the Morning. Harry Loves the Color of the Lettering on a Subway Sandwich Bag. Harry Loves the Smell of Old Men Passing By Him in a Hallway. Harry Loves the Bits of Spare Change (27 Cents and a Subway Token) in His Pocket. Harry Loves the Blank Blue Screen That Comes on When You Don't Have a Certain Cable Channel. Harry Loves the Empty Candy Wrapper at the Bottom of His Bathroom Trashcan. Harry Loves.
Dead Mans Chest by 2Girth2Ferguson	Jun 29th, 2006 12:00:30 PM
Is what Harry calls it when he is fucking a dead guy right in the Chest!! Then he likes it when Kevin Spacey nails him in the ass while he fucks the dead guy. It is just WRONG.
I like Orlando Bloom too by AngelCordy	Jun 29th, 2006 12:05:42 PM
He plays a great straight man to Depp's off the wall zaniness. I look forward to seeing him in this movie, especially since he gets more to do. However, I also think that more than half the girls who went to see this went in for Bloom and came out shrieking for Depp, myself included. Way to go, you big stud.
Harry, what country are you from? by Gigol-o Joe	Jun 29th, 2006 12:25:09 PM
Do they speak English in What?
Yes, but the albatross is around his neck by oisin5199	Jun 29th, 2006 12:33:13 PM
because the arrogant dumbass shot it! And the crewmembers made him wear it. Now go smoke some opium with Kubla Khan. Seriously, ROTAM still stands as one of the best seafaring horror stories of all time. Fits perfectly with the POTC genre.
what is a pirate's mating call in the ghetto? by white owl	Jun 29th, 2006 12:41:23 PM
Yo ho ho! ...
If the albatross is around someone's neck .... by Ringwearer9	Jun 29th, 2006 12:44:08 PM
... then it's obviously dead.
Thank you, Oisin by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 12:49:58 PM
For defending my metaphor. Are you people really defending Orlando Bloom? How many movies is he going to do where the reviewer says "this is the first true Orlando Bloom vehicle" or "this is his coming out party"? He's never coming out! He'll stay in that goddamned closet forever.
Heath Ledger would smoke in the role of Will Turner by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 12:50:26 PM

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN by THE KNIGHT	Jun 29th, 2006 12:50:51 PM
Bloom did a great job in the director's cut version. Bloom is only as good as his director...
The real question is, who will play Guybrush? by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 12:52:47 PM
Threepwood will own face. These POTC movies ape so much from those games.
GET AN EDITOR, PLEASE! by Crash Crator	Jun 29th, 2006 12:54:45 PM
*****A 10-year-old could filter-out Harry
I'd be excited but you loved Superman Returns too by Rupee88	Jun 29th, 2006 12:57:59 PM
and we know how that one turned out.
Box Office Gassed by Crash Crator	Jun 29th, 2006 01:03:19 PM
*****Gas prices are eating up the average moviegoer
Interesting point, Crash Gator. Anyone walk to flix? by Roguewriter	Jun 29th, 2006 01:14:36 PM
Rave just opened an 18-screen theater in my part of Huntsville, Alabama... but my four-year-old is still too young to make the trek (1.5 miles) and, frankly, the summer heat is just too much for this fat old man. Anyone other than Noo Yawkers enjoy the delights of being close enough to a decent theater to walk? I'd give anything to avoid using my car for anything other than work-travel in the next six months... sadly, I think the era of the true neighborhood cinema is long in our rearview mirror...
Without the "bland" Orlando Bloom character by ZeroCorpse	Jun 29th, 2006 01:15:02 PM
Without Bloom's bland character, Captain Jack Sparrow wouldn't have a straight man to bounce off of (No puns intended). Will Turner's necessary, because he keeps Jack from flying completely into the realm of ridiculousness.
TRANSFORMERS!!! by PutZ	Jun 29th, 2006 01:22:22 PM
teaser trailer at joblo!!!! http://www.joblo.com/index.php ?id=11901
Oh come on! by TELF	Jun 29th, 2006 01:30:04 PM
Bloom is SHITE! Good call Dannychico on Heath. Harry is talking out of his arse when he says this is a straight Captain Jack movie. Bloom's character SPOILER and his Dad END SPOILER play a huge (And largely redundant) role in this film. And will do in the next one too presumably, as at the end of this one NOTHING is resolved. For the non-geeks who don't realise the next one comes out soonish I can imagine a lot of people feeling cheated when they find out they are only getting half the story this year. Still a fun half tho. But I just wish they had concentrated on Jack, SPOILER the Commodore END SPOILER and Davy Jones. Why can't this Franchise just be about the ongoing adventures of Jack and Black Pearl? With the Commodore always chasing him like General wotsit in the A Team. Just get a different (or, if you share my tastes, legitimately sexy) bird each film. Whatever. Bloom is shite. It is just fucking scientific fact.
This straight man argument... by TELF	Jun 29th, 2006 01:42:26 PM
Does not excuse his flat performance. There is a great deal of skill in being a strong straight man. Bloom's timing is shocking for a start. He could at least be macho, he's supposed to be a bloody blacksmith. That would make a better contrast to Depp's dandy Jack. The film works DESPITE, not because of, Bloom. Jesus, it staggers the imaginatipon that people actually liked him in Kingdom Of Heaven. The other two actors up for that part were Goran Visnijc (6'4" former soldier, strong actor) and Paul Bettany (6'4" Gangster No 1, amazing actor). Instead they got Bloom to grow a beard and do some push ups. The film was flawed (yeah director's cut too) but you can't get past the sheer lack of authority or even reality that Bloom is able to tap into in his performances. It's just mad that he isn't having a great career doing rom-coms and Jane Austen films, which he'd be fine in, but instead is being shoved down our necks as kind of bum-fluff 'tached Errol Flynn...
Roguewriter's Movie Trek by Crash Crator	Jun 29th, 2006 01:51:18 PM
*****Ever consider the bicycle, Mr. Roguewriter? It
For the kids? This is a PG13/12A movie! by Mr Stonky	Jun 29th, 2006 01:55:41 PM
Anyone old enough to watch this movie will know exactly what the sexy stuff is about. PG13 movies are not suitable for 6 year olds by definition.
Engineer_at_peac: by mbeemer	Jun 29th, 2006 01:55:49 PM
Thanks for the "Serenity" quote!
That's really up to parents Mr Stonky by Engineer_at_peac	Jun 29th, 2006 02:01:25 PM

Telf is right - see tom cruise for a good straight man by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 02:07:22 PM
In Rainman. I'm not even a big Tom Cruise fan! But the whole idea of a "straight man" is kind of dumb. Eccentric characters are even better when playing off of other eccentric characters.
Mr Stonky - up to the parents by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 02:08:58 PM
PG-13 is ok for some kids and some parents.
Well, depending on the country by Engineer_at_peac	Jun 29th, 2006 02:22:53 PM
Some of the countries have government ratings instead of private ones and they are enforced by law
Harry, by DeCypher44	Jun 29th, 2006 02:26:41 PM
Excellent review. I can't WAIT to see this.
The Straight Man theory by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 02:31:53 PM
is bogus. There's no excuse for an actor being uninteresting just because those around him are funny. Sure, Jerry Seinfeld was the ostensible straight man in that show - but was he really that "straight"?
I stopped by AlgertMopper	Jun 29th, 2006 02:46:52 PM
I stopped at the Gollum stuff. Leave your LotR masturbation on the LotR stuff. Don't let if fall into other reviews. It's fucking sad and shows how bad of a reviewer are
Why is "Summon the Kraken" a classic line? by Ringwearer9	Jun 29th, 2006 02:56:49 PM
I mean, I saw the trailer, and the hints of a massive giant squid coming in response to the line is kinda cool, but what's cool about the line itself? I did like the "There is no dress in my cabin" line, though.
Heh heh, Crash Gator... by Roguewriter	Jun 29th, 2006 02:58:17 PM
You've obviously never driven around Alabama. The roadkill around here ain't all made up of critters, if you take my meaning... Getting on one of these main roads on a bicycle is suicide! ;)
Oh, CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow by BrandLoyalist	Jun 29th, 2006 03:08:56 PM
typing halted by blow from large clown hammer
Unreadable review by Gwai Lo	Jun 29th, 2006 03:17:01 PM
Harry gushing in pirate-speak = nausea inducing. I'll wait for the other AICN reviewers to chime in, although by any indication this movie looks like it will be fun and better than the first one.
by wolack22	Jun 29th, 2006 03:50:15 PM

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE SINGER's FACE!... by wolack22	Jun 29th, 2006 03:51:18 PM
when this blows supes return out of the water next week... and they're all wondering whether or not a sequel is a good idea... SCREW SINGER!!!
Kiera is "The sexiest tomboy beanpole".......etc. by Doom II	Jun 29th, 2006 04:31:46 PM
I was hoping for a comparison to Superman Returns. Like was it an overall better film or just more fun?
Yeah, buddy... by CountVonGroovy	Jun 29th, 2006 04:34:59 PM
"Swearing is an intellectual crutch for the inarticulate..." Just like in all of those "inarticulate" Coen Brothers movies. I never asked for your crutch, don't ask for mine...
I absolutely despise.. by Harysuxafat1	Jun 29th, 2006 04:39:07 PM
Orlando Bloom in every way possible. But Depp was so damn good as Jack Sparrow he made up for it. I hope Bloom is truly deemphasized this go around. I might actually spend money on this one.
Saying that swearing... by Harysuxafat1	Jun 29th, 2006 04:43:31 PM
is an intellectual crutch is like saying people that despise homos are homophobic. It's just something you say because you wanna feel superior to someone else who might call you a cocksucking cunt of a pussy and might not really care what you think. Just saying...
This film gets us closer to a "Monkey Island" movie by Chastain-86	Jun 29th, 2006 04:50:56 PM
How appropriate. You fight like a cow.
wtf by LouGossetPhillip	Jun 29th, 2006 05:08:12 PM
I didn't understand a word of that "review". I think Harry liked the film, and Gollum was mentioned for some odd reason, other than that I'm lost. If anyone has a translated version that isn't written in six-year-old-speak or incoherent-drunk-rambling could you please post a link to it? thanks.
'arry my old son, stop using "English" swearing. by Vim Fuego	Jun 29th, 2006 05:14:16 PM
Speaking as a cheerful chirpy cockney it hurts me mince pies.
i'm sorry Harry, but if you were ANY WoO character... by s0nicdeathmonkey	Jun 29th, 2006 05:22:18 PM
it would be the straw man and we all know it.
Jack Sparrow = Han Solo by AlwaysThere	Jun 29th, 2006 05:54:49 PM
Guess you have to steal from the best.
Film lengths by AlwaysThere	Jun 29th, 2006 05:58:59 PM
If a movie is long and captivating then the time fly's by. But if it's ham fisted and slow ala Hulk, Superman Returns, Pirates 1, and King Kong then we've got a big problem.
Chastain by Dannychico	Jun 29th, 2006 05:59:02 PM
I already mentioned Monkey Island. See my above posts. But it's ok being second.
Movie Role for Harry... by Darth Rosenberg	Jun 29th, 2006 06:00:21 PM
Star of M. Night's new film, Unreadable. It's about a movie critic that is invincible. His only weakness? MS Word's spelling and grammar check.
The more I read, the less enthusiastic I become... by OBSD	Jun 29th, 2006 06:01:31 PM
I love the first Pirates movie, but one of the things I liked best about it are the perfect blend of characters, but this time around it seems like "All Jack All The Time". It's like making chilli. A ton of flavors come together to make something unique. Let's say that one of those flavors is a hot sauce that most people have never had before. Everybody looooooves the chilli and can't rave enough about the hot sauce, so the next batch you cut all of the other spices and flavors to 1/3 of the original recipe. Except for the hot sauce. This time you add 5 bottles of it because it was your "secret ingredient" the first time around. Do you think it will taste as good? Because it doesn't sound very yummy to me. Analogy ends.
Not true, sonicdeathmonkey by Gwai Lo	Jun 29th, 2006 06:13:15 PM
If Harry was a Wizard of Oz character it would be the Cowardly Lion.
More Blandness by genrefanboy	Jun 29th, 2006 06:23:29 PM
POTC1 Was bland, dire & boring. I am absolutely amazed that it was so popular as without Depps vastly overrated performance no-one would have even remembered it by now. This is yet another sign of the times where bland is the new artform that the masses embrace as they are also bland so cannot even tell the difference anymore.
Kiera is more manly than Orlando. by superninja	Jun 29th, 2006 06:49:54 PM
I think that's part of the problem. He's very girlish in demeanor. And Jack is kind of fey, no doubt, although that seems more like an act to keep everyone on their toes. So there is a lot of girly girlness going on with the leads.
Anyway, the film looks fun, randy and cheerful. by superninja	Jun 29th, 2006 06:50:48 PM
Something some other summer films could've used a bit of, and you know who I'm talking about.
OBSD... by jollysleeve	Jun 29th, 2006 06:58:50 PM
LOL, you could've saved yourself a lot of typing and just mentioned Fonzie and Happy Days. (But anyone who makes detailed food analogies is aces in my book, regardless.) However, try not to worry too much. I think a previous poster mentioned (sourly) that indeed, the other characters (like Will Turner) still occupy a goodly portion of this movie.
Cliffhanger Ending (SPOILER WARNING) by sacul1138	Jun 29th, 2006 07:15:19 PM
The credits roll. Kidding. I saw it yesterday and I wont agree with Harry's review, I wont go against it either. The movie is fun and is good, but the original is far better to me, but the sequel is set up for some cool shit. Again SPOILER WARNING: The cliffhanger is pretty simple. Jack is eaten by the Krakken (sp?) Thanks to Miss Swan I might add. The group heads back to the local voodoo chick who tells them how to go to the edge of the world (or end of the world, can't recall how she said it) Basically sounds like they are going to Tartarus to get Jack's soul back....and guess who's leading them to the spot?...Good Ol Captain Barbosa. Norrington has screw them all over as well..wont go into that, but I love this guy so much more in this movie. After the credits stay and you'll get a little bit of fun as well.
They're taking the Pirates to Isengard!!! by Orionsangels	Jun 29th, 2006 07:28:34 PM
What's even weirder if you play Slayer's Reign in Blood together with Bakshi's LOTR. Weird coincidences happen - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =cGmJDytqRV8
Not reading the spoilers for this one by performingmonkey	Jun 29th, 2006 07:37:17 PM
I don't want the ending ruined before I see it. I've come to the conclusion that I keep fucking up movie experiences by reading spoilers. Depp is a screen legend in his prime.
I bet SR and POTC both die under 300 mil by spectrebeeyatch	Jun 29th, 2006 07:58:42 PM
And why does it always come to taking sides in TB's Superman vs. POTC. One is an adventure film and one is a comic book film two different categories I would think and shouldn't people be happy we at least have both of these movies. This summer has blown ass movie wise and these two movies will be the stand outs, maybe Clerks 2 and Lady in the Water or Miami Vice will rock but they won't destroy the BO like these two. So smile enjoy both it doesn't matter if you like one over the other. I'm pumped to see Superman again next week and then on friday be treated with POTC so it will be a good week.
Spacecowboynj is talking out of his ass! by Orionsangels	Jun 29th, 2006 09:45:28 PM
He could not be more wrong. He's just a boring person himself. That's the problem here folks. GO SEE SUPERMAN RETURNS right now. Support Superman, Star Wars, LOTR all geek franchises. Even if you don't like them. IT'S THE FUCKING LAW!!! I don't wanna read your nitpicking bitching itching snitching witching and whateva. Just fuckin pretend to like it. Relive your fucking childhood. LOOOVE IT MUTHAFUCKERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!
The next review by bollhatergc	Jun 29th, 2006 10:58:30 PM
will headline "Harry sells his soul to Satan by giving a positive review to The Devil Wears Prada"
Uh... yeah, okay, Dannychico. by Chastain-86	Jun 29th, 2006 11:14:55 PM
Didn't realize that being first to the Guybrush Threepwood remark was a point of pride for you there, sparky. Tell you what -- why don't you wake up extra-early tomorrow morning, jump on your bicycle, and ride down to the local Wal-Mart at 4am. Then you can be FIRST there TOO! Won't that rule?
natural born killers right? by calami-shami	Jun 29th, 2006 11:22:16 PM
tht's the new animation? Boy i cant wait for that to come out, as soon as Stone finishes editing it... anytime now.
Depp is overrared! A LOT! esp. in those films! by chien_sale	Jun 30th, 2006 01:22:26 AM
I went to see the first film wich I thought was average. And when I returned from there there was all this buzz around Johhny Depp`s performance. Have I seen the same film, I thought? I watched it again on DVD with my daughter and again I found nothing special by his performance. In fact I thought he wasn`t funny at all because he tried too much much to restrain himself to trully go wild. And that means people liked him because he was the cool guy, not because he was that great or funny in his performance.
I like how good characters and dialogue equal... by spectrebeeyatch	Jun 30th, 2006 01:30:15 AM
To Lifetime channel. I find it funny that when a movie tries to actually do something or have a point people get pissed off. But when a movie is seriously shitty they'll stand to defend it(X3). POTC is already getting a sour treatment from people who haven't even seen it yet, wait for it and maybe for all those who are crying about Superman there will be enough shit that goes boom for you to concentrate on. Superman and POTC are it folks the two big summer movies enjoy them stop constantly bitching and acting like you work for a studio "Don't waste your money on Superman" do you work for Fox or something? Let people make their own decisions on the movie. I would just lighten up because the rest of July is smaller pics where no one will be able to debate box office on a grand scale. What is the next major upset TB battle gonna be? Clerks 2 is better than Miami Vice!!! I'm just actually happy to have a Superman film and what seems to be a fun pirate movie back to back. Shouldn't we be happy instead of furious? I don't know I for one am going to try and enjoy myself at the movies this week/weekend as will most others I would assume. Since in the theater I was in for SR, the audience cheered almost through out the film. So at least some people are having fun at the movies.
i just can't wait to see superman and cars... by jig98	Jun 30th, 2006 05:57:12 AM
i know i'll end up seeing pirates 2 just like the first one, and johnny depp is not overrated.
Keep up the good work big guy! by tompbeast	Jun 30th, 2006 07:23:48 AM
Harry man! half the time i don't have a clue what your going on about which makes your increasingly bizarre reviews funny, not because what you write is particularly comical, but because of the weird tangents and obtuse sentences. You and Vern are Always laugh out loud funny for different reasons. great fun! Oh and you as the Tinman gave me a right fright when i scrolled down, I almost cried!
Overrarrred = pirate with a hoarse voice from rarrr-ing by BrandLoyalist	Jun 30th, 2006 09:46:46 AM
And heck, he's playing a pirate, so it's no wonder he'd get a little overrarrred. Eh heh. (Sorry chien_sale, diving on spelling errors is the height of lameness... but yours had a pun. Puns! I love puns! PS, MS Word's grammar checker is for pansies)
Bill George is F/X Supervisor on POTC 2 and 3! by Admiral Nelson	Jun 30th, 2006 10:03:21 AM
FYI, John Knoll was the visual effects supervisor for the first
Seriously, Harry? by la_sith	Jun 30th, 2006 10:29:19 AM
Learn to write. I mean, seriously.
Looking forward to POTC2 but... by sith-vol	Jun 30th, 2006 10:36:27 AM
....after seeing Superman Returns, I just hope it can stand up. I've been looking forward to Dead Man's Chest since first hearing about it. Superman Returns just seemed like a train wreck waiting to happen, but after all is said and done POTC2 has its work cut out for it and I really hope its up to the challenge. Singer's vision is the best thing I've seen in a few years. On another note...lose the tin man Harry, its quite disturbing looking.
Who wants to talk about Pirates of the Caribbean... by SalvatoreGravano	Jun 30th, 2006 11:28:33 AM
...when one can "talk about everything Casper Van Dien", as per the welcome line on caspervandien.com/forums? Casper van Dien for Batman and Superman in Batman versus Superman!
60% on RT??? What the hell? by minderbinder	Jun 30th, 2006 02:10:34 PM
I'd be alarmed, but the positive reviews are so positive, and the negative reviews mostly complain that it's all too much. Still hoping for the best on this one.
60% on RT = 5 reviews, 3 good, 2 bad by JohnGalt06	Jun 30th, 2006 02:30:57 PM
I mean, really, everybody calm down. It's got 2 mildly negative reviews.
Honestly, is it that hard to spell K-E-I-R-A? by Charles Grady	Jun 30th, 2006 02:55:51 PM
Despite ample evidence provided by the above review, the movie posters, the imdb, and her name in the credits of a dozen or so movies, how do you guys see all that and STILL spell it K-I-E-R-A? I just don't understand bad spellers. Don't you see something once and know how to spell it for, like, ever?
60% is a taste of things to come by AlwaysThere	Jun 30th, 2006 03:07:02 PM
If it's truly unimaginative then Deep as Capt. Jack Sparrow wont be enough to save this movie
Dream on, AlwaysThere by JohnGalt06	Jun 30th, 2006 04:43:17 PM
Now that Superman is tanking at the BO, Pirates will rule the summer.
"Now that Superman is tanking at the BO..." by Triumph poops!	Jun 30th, 2006 05:12:25 PM
Tanking??? Earth to moron: it had the 8th BEST opening day in Hollywood history -- and that was on a Wednesday, with the Weekend only just starting. Attention all villages! One of you is missing your resident IDIOT! Please contact Harry so he can be returned to you at once. He's loose and has reached a keyboard and is posting away and, frankly, it's just embarrassing...
Actually Triumph by Thumper2k1	Jun 30th, 2006 08:35:06 PM
It's the 8th best opening on a wednesday. 29th best opening overall. Watch it drop considerably next week. PotC2 will destroy what SR's bad word of mouth didn't.
by Flim Springfield	Jun 30th, 2006 08:43:55 PM
Keith Richards. Shouldn't Harry already KNOW this? I mean, Dean Martin??
Jack Sparrow is more Chaplin than Superman by lettersoftransit	Jun 30th, 2006 09:28:16 PM
...meaning the character is more closely tied to the actor and his performance. Characters like the Tramp (and, say, Groucho) were certainly fictional and iconically visual enough you might think they could have been kept alive as franchise characters with done and redone many times, but they weren't. Jack Sparrow may beat Superman's opening week, but it's due in large part to the fact you can only see the character in one of two ways -- rent the previous film or go see the new one, whereas superman competes not only with him but with numerous other variations on himself. People should not think it's a race between the two characters, but if you must think of it that way then realize Sparrow may sprint past Supe for a brief time, but the guy in the cape will over take him in the franchise character marathon.
Thank you, Thumper by JohnGalt06	Jun 30th, 2006 09:47:16 PM
For not being a complete idiot like Triumph. Seriously, he's living in some fantasy-moron world...
Oh! Bravo!! This Review is..... by thebearovingian	Jun 30th, 2006 10:31:25 PM
and I quote, "just motorscooter perfect." What...the hell...does that mean, Harry?! Is that phrase takin over for "delicious" now? GIANT APE BALLS- No, I don't think you're a boring, old man. Although you may be. But I don't believe so. LAUS DEO
Don't front, Ringwearer9. by DocPazuzu	Jul 1st, 2006 03:25:23 AM
It's not about lines being "classic" or not. You've decided to hate POTC because it's unrealistic for a guy to have a tentacle beard.
Well the first Uk review of POTC 2 DMC is and once by emeraldboy	Jul 1st, 2006 09:30:35 AM
Empire Magazine has hyped this film up only to tear it down. If you havent seen the movie dont read the following: Empire Review Everybody loves it when a sequel reunites the original cast. From The Empire Strikes Back through to X-Men 2, the reinvigoration of winning team dynamics has ensured follow-ups that, at the very least, match their predecessors. But here
Ringwearer9..... by butnugget	Jul 1st, 2006 01:23:14 PM
The line is "classic" from Clash of the Titans.
You can imagine the harrys boss at penthouse by emeraldboy	Jul 1st, 2006 04:36:36 PM
I am sure he is pulling his hsir out when he reads one of harrys badley typed reviews for that journal.
i saw jack sparrow on the cover of rolling stones mag.. by jig98	Jul 2nd, 2006 11:41:59 AM
yesterday and i couldv'e SWORN i thought it was keith richards dressed up as a pirate. now, that i seen that, i think that the whole idea of keith richards making an appearance in the 3rd pirates movie next summer is just one big stupid contribance. [he'll probably be smoking on the set the whole time anyway} my favorite line so far {watching the clips} is when elizabeth swann shows up at the black pearl and jack sparrow thinks she's a sailor. "these clothes don't flatter you at all. it should be a dress or nothing. i happen to have no dress in my cabin" so typical of johnny depp. i liked the funny lines between him and orlando bloom from the first movie "you cheated. pirate."
"just motorscooter perfect." by tango fett	Jul 2nd, 2006 05:41:52 PM
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HA!!! and PS - Superman Returns was amazing.
Pirates Of The Caribbean 2 is Superman's Doomsday! by KAWS	Jul 2nd, 2006 08:31:51 PM
Because this film is going to kill Superman Returns boring half-ass of a movie dead. You know this to be true.
Zimmer by blacklodgebob	Jul 2nd, 2006 09:04:05 PM
Maybe the tracks on the album weren't chosen very well, but from listening to it, Zimmer's score BLOWS. Way too many grinding electric guitars. Does anyone know why Klaus got taken off this one?
Scorn for pretty boys by boat	Jul 3rd, 2006 05:11:06 PM
I think its like a weird twist on the self fulfilling prophesy thing. Orlando Bloom is pretty, too pretty, girly, i forget what else etc - so therefore, because we aren't even remotely willing to acknowledge that a pretty boy may actually be able to act, the veridct is he is going to suck in this movie. Then you go to see the movie and guess what! - Orlando Bloom sucks. I love Depp and think he's a great actor but let's be honest, his popularity and his coolness factor in the eyes of the public (especially the male public)have grown proportionally with his age and gradual loss of the girly factor. Yes, the great Depp was once a pretty boy. Don't hear anyone raving about how great his acting in 21 Jump Street was. My point if you don't like Orlando Bloom that's fine, but isn't it just possible that Will Turner is bland not because of Bloom's acting but because of the piss poor lines he got in the first movie, same for Keira by the way. Depp by far got the best character to play with and fromn the looks of it the same happended with DMC.I think pretty boys need to start some kind of anti discrimination group or something -picket outside critics' workplaces.
Dannychico: "Heath Ledger would smoke ..." by Lamerz	Jul 3rd, 2006 05:40:36 PM
" ... in the role of Will Turner." Yeah, sure he would. He'd smoke Jack Sparrow's pole when they get trapped, lonely, in a cave, waiting to be found. Then when Keira comes in, he denies it. Then Gore Verbinski wins an Oscar for direction in "Butt Pirates of the Carribean: Dead Man's Ass".
You're full of it Harry by paskey01	Jul 6th, 2006 06:19:52 PM
Get your tongue out of Johnny Depps ass for a second and look at the movie again. Sure, it was a good movie, but it wasn't a GREAT movie, and it certainly wasn't better then the original, far from it in fact. The entire sequence at the beginning with "Guanno man" was unnecessary. it felt like they filmed the movie without it then sat there and thought "Hmmmm, you know what, the beginning is kind of slow, I think we need to spice it up a bit... throw in some cannibals! Make it rediculously long, and have nothing to do with the plot of the film!" The 2nd thing that was annoying was the classic sequal mistake of over re-hashing jokes from the original. I would have screamed at 1 more "Where's the rum/hide the rum/throw out the rum" joke. They also re-did the candleabra joke, the dog with the keys TWICE, the long garbled explanation from Jack 3 TIMES, the sea-turtles, "I was rooting for you mate" etc etc. This is the reason that the original Austin Powers movie was such a hit, but the sequels bombed out, too many repeats of old jokes. This is why Jim Carey never does sequels to any of his films (with the exception of Ace Ventura), because he realises that re-hashing jokes isn't as funny and ruins your comedic integrity. And finally, anyone who enjoyed that ending either has the patience of a monk with a vow of silence, or is an idiot. Without spoiling the ending for those yet to see it, it basically ends on a "Tune in next week for Pirates 3!" cliffhanger, and yes it is a cliffhanger no matter what you say Harry. Endings like that work for Tv shows like Lost because the next episode is only a week away. This next movie is 3 freaking years away! Every great movie (and even most that aren't that great) that has a sequel in the making, still has a proper resolution and ending to some extent! Each of the Starwars, LOTR, Indiana Jones, heck, even your beloved Spiderman and Superman, we bloody well KNEW that there would be sequels coming, and yet the makers of each of these films were still smart enough to give us proper endings to their films, even if they weren't the last in the series. To end the film as they did was down right cheesy and really, REALLY bloody annoying.
Just got back from midnight show... by AngelCordy	Jul 7th, 2006 02:23:22 AM
Best. Movie. Ever. Superman, you had a good week while it lasted, but even you can't stop the thundering juggernaut that IS Captain Jack Sparrow. This movie will make more money than a third world country. And I happily intend to contribute. At the end of the movie, I've never seen an entire theater leap to their feet and start screaming in excitement and joy. Verbinski, you're a genius. Depp, you're my new husband. Enjoy.
POTC is not 3 years away by fiestyone	Jul 7th, 2006 02:24:59 AM
paskey01 you're wrong, The third movie is not "3 freaking years away." Pirates of the Caribbean 3 comes out summer 2007. Sometimes I think the people bad mouthing the second Pirates movie does so because they don't want anyone to see it so that Superman Returns can be number one and gets more of its money back. If POTC 2 had been released before SR and been up against any other movie I doubt it would be getting half as much grief as it has. I liked the first Superman movie, I even liked supergirl, but comparing SR and POTC which are two very different movies is something I just don't understand and can only be explained as fans of one movie bashing the other to keep it from getting more business. Lay off it already and just see how it does.
It's our (Generation Y's) EMPIRE by Eaglet1138	Jul 7th, 2006 03:41:00 AM
I loved every stinking second of it. Can't wait for Jedi, I mean World's End.
Well, you got the 'stinking' part correct by Shawn F.	Jul 7th, 2006 07:00:32 AM
Gen Y's "Empire Strikes Back"? I thought that was "The Two Towers"?
At which point did LOTR conclude exactly? by Tremor	Jul 7th, 2006 12:13:55 PM
The first film ended with the characters having done fuck all, and the second ended in exactly the same way. 'let's carry on to mordor and get rid of this ring we've been carrying around for two whole films now' If a film's going to be conceived of as a trilogy then they need to leave things open ended else it would defeat the purpose of having any continuity in the first place.
Can someone HELP ME OUT!!! by rubensreviews	Jul 7th, 2006 10:44:16 PM
im ashamed to admit that this totally lost me as I left the film, but why did jack NOT want to stab the heart? what would the heart do?
Sorry, spoiler Warning for my post ABOVE by rubensreviews	Jul 7th, 2006 10:45:41 PM
sorry, its late and im tired
A different take.. by Michael Douglas	Jul 8th, 2006 08:21:35 AM
Look upon Dead Man's Chest and World's End as Kill Bill 1 & 2. It's as simple as that. If you intend to make five hours of good movie making, you'd better have a fully rounded, highly layered, and somewhat thick (complicated) script. POTC2 is definitely all of the above which makes POTC3 an even better chance of being the best movie of the trio.
and ... by Michael Douglas	Jul 8th, 2006 08:23:45 AM
And yes, I hate being referred to as "that old fart married to that hottie!"
I know it's not realistic but... by DirkD13"	Jul 10th, 2006 07:32:09 AM
I was totally taken out of the movie when Sparrow fell down the ravine, several hundred feet through LOTS of wooden bridges and survived. That scene made the kraken seem like wildlife on 1
Why Jack Couldn't Stab the Heart by symphy	Jul 10th, 2006 01:53:58 PM
Having the black spot means the Kraken would go after Jack until he was dead. Only Davy Jones could remove the curse (which is additionally hinted at when Jack notices the spot fade after shaking hands with Davy's slime). So if Jones is dead, the Kraken will still eventually get Jack, but if Jack uses the heart as leverage to get Davy to call off the black spot, Jack can survive.
3rd Films Title by BitchNig	Jul 10th, 2006 04:39:48 PM
The next POTC film should be called, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Search for Jack Sparrow.
This is just creepy by Obee	Jul 12th, 2006 10:12:43 AM
I wrote a review of this film somewhere else before reading yours and it's strange to see how similar they are: So I finally went to see this damn film. Let me just say this - if you are sick of movies that use eye-candy as a substitute for plot then go see this flick. Honestly, I was getting so tired of films like The Day After Tomorrow and if you want to see a film utilize all that's available for successful visual effects then Dead Man's Chest will not disappoint. You've got the cannibal island, the cage-balls, fighting on/through a water wheel and the eerily lit jungle where Tia Dalma lives. I only wish they'd show more of that pirate prison and hopefully they'll visit that in the third installment. The thing that I like about Pirates is that it really takes an effort to build a history for each character and define the world of pirates in general. But it also manages to do this in a very realistic way. Bill Nighy and the crew responsible for creating Davy Jones did a spectacular job giving what could have been a disastrous character some real life and even personality quirks. This guy makes Gollum look like a cartoon character. It's strange. Curse of the Black Pearl was more about Will Turner, his enigmatic history and his famous pirate father Bootstrap Bill but I liked Captain Jack Sparrow a lot more. Dead Man's Chest concerns itself more with Jack Sparrow's history and yet I found myself gaining more of an appreciation for Turner. And thankfully in this second film Elizabeth has more to do than just be this posh princess. I think it's the right mix of characters that makes this film work. It seems like it's all about the ensemble casts these days. Pintel and Ragetti were great comic relief as usual especially when despite not knowing how to read, Ragetti feels that you get points for trying when it's the bible. And Kevin McNally was fantastic as Gibbs. One of the reviews I read for this film claimed that some scenes with Jack Sparrow were too unrealistic and cartoonish. Okay man, the damn film is a Disney production about undead pirates - what the hell was this guy expecting? Second just think of Jack Sparrow as the 'accidental James Bond of pirates' - Trust, you'll know exactly what I mean once you see this film.
not that great... by kasket	Jul 12th, 2006 01:51:30 PM
The movie was 'ok' but Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth strayed from their original character personalities a bit too much if you ask me... Also the ending was craptacular... i felt like i should have been part of a test audience....
paskey01, you ignorant fuck... by decfx	Jul 12th, 2006 03:27:38 PM
Guess I gotta correct you dumbshit. As someone else mentioned, POTC 3 is out next Summer. Austin Powers 1 made 53 million. Austin 2 did 206 million and Goldmember made 213 million. That blows your other dumbass theory out of the water. Get yer facts straight ass clown.
there's no irony contained in this post by drjones	Jul 12th, 2006 06:30:14 PM
great. but this shows...time is there (always) and people are fucking hungry for a well made funny adventure with convincing and breathtaking set pieces AND characters. so...please, please, please bring on indyIV. indiana jones is my generation`s (=this generation) indiana jones. films don't leave office and go on like presidents or bundestrainer, alright?!.... :)
to the person talking about the supes b.o. by drjones	Jul 12th, 2006 06:43:21 PM
it is no secret that opening weekends or days or whatever don't mean that much anymore...who cares if the film sinks after the day or weekend of it's release? so, relax!
Harry Knowles should stop reviewing movies by CharlesBronson24	Jul 13th, 2006 12:48:37 PM
This guy is predisposed to like or dislike every movie he sees long before he sees it. Good or bad, you already know what he's going to say. Don't get me wrong, this is a good movie, but you're looking for something where there's nothing. What the hell are you doing trying to analyze subtext in a summer action movie? There is none. And you forgot to mention the incohesive and often aimless plot. Word of advice; try to look at things for what they are, and not for what you want them to be. Then maybe your readers might get a little insight.
Coda after the movie by SpideyMan	Jul 13th, 2006 01:48:36 PM
Be sure to stay for the coda - the extra ending tacked on after the credits. And in terms of other codas, check out --http://www.hiddenflicks.com/ -- it tracks codas (both new and old) and what trailers are in theaters. Take a look, and contribute!
And Pirates takes the 6 day record. by minderbinder	Jul 13th, 2006 04:16:51 PM
Sure to take the opening week record easily as well. Probably will just tie the fastest to 200M record, but will probably be listed first because it will have the highest total on that day. It has to drop less than 47% to get the second weekend record, and I think that's possible looking at the weekday numbers. For reference, POTC2's lowest weekday beat Spidey 2's second friday and sunday. Also, DVD sales and rentals of the first one spiked, it was #2 for the week. This should be an interesting ride, some people have already used the "T" word, but I think that's unrealistic.
The $500 million Club by arjaybee	Jul 14th, 2006 08:21:14 AM
POTC: Dead Man's Chest may become the only movie in box office history to be in the $500 million domestic box-office club placing it number 2 all-time behind Titanic (which is in the $600 freakin million dollar club in a league all its own). Of course the Star Wars films will most likely solidify their spots in the top ten after the theatrical 3D & IMAX 3D releases down the road but POTC:DMC is going to come closer than any other film to actually threaten to crack the Titanic/Star Wars strangle holds on the top 2 box-office slots. By the way, I can't wait to see this movie again and I have 2 teenage nices' who claim they want to see it 4 or 5 times. Anytime you get girls to want to see a movie like this more than once, you've got a monster on your hands. It's going to be fun to watch this run on box-office history...and this movie again!
12M thursday, the new 1 week record is $195M. by minderbinder	Jul 14th, 2006 03:22:46 PM
Just barely missed a new "fastest to 100M" record. As I see it, WORST case this weekend is 58M, a drop of about 56%. Probably won't match Shrek 2's 72 million, but should be fairly close.
Better than the first by criticalbliss	Jul 15th, 2006 01:44:54 PM
Great subtle and subversive humor in this film. There is a look Depp gives in response to Keira's character that is priceless. Depp felt more fully realized and the story took advantage of the characters more than the first movie. Granted, both films could have used a tighter edit, but this one was a damned good time, and very funny. I find it odd that critics like this movie less. I found it much more entertaining.
Pirates of the Caribean: Reloaded by grandwiz	Jul 16th, 2006 04:33:31 AM
Nothing like an overblown, empty, long middle chapter, to make one optimistic about a shit-ass tired chapter, I mean third chapter. This BORING, JOYLESS POS had the worst script, editing and direction I can think of. With exceptional cast, fx and photography, this could -- should have easily be the classic beyond the original that some overly generous posters are calling it. Everything works beautifully except the basic essentials: there's no fing story-telling here. I went from loving this series to hating it. Billy Ocean has sung.
Paskey01 by Trader Groucho 2	Jul 17th, 2006 04:57:18 AM
The "rehashed" jokes you refer to were all actually all executed differently than in the first film. In the world of comedy, we call those callbacks. The turtle thing, for example, was not belabored in the least. Jack asks how Will got there. Will says on the backs of turtles. Jack accepts that answer and they move on. If anything, the filmmakers were taking risks with the second film, tossing in callbacks from the first film without explaining them.
Anyone else think this was a STEAMING PILE OF CRAP? by McGsStepson	Jul 17th, 2006 09:06:23 PM
Anyone? I see a couple of posters, now that a lot of the hype has died down, have finally begun to call this film out for being the bombastic and tiresome piece that it is. Anyone?
$500 million. HA! by McGsStepson	Jul 17th, 2006 09:17:13 PM
This film doesn't have a chance of making $500 million. Be happy with the box-office and get real. Its going to do $350-400 so lay off the Jack Sparrow kool-aid.
McGsStepson by Trader Groucho 2	Jul 18th, 2006 04:56:23 AM
Naw dude. My opinion's closer to Harry's on this one. Fantastic script. Pretty darn good directing. And Johnny owned. Again. Face it. Movie fans love them some Jack. And BTW, your stepdad would have given his left one for either Charlie's Angels movie to have done POTC:DMC numbers. Just want to put the hatin' in perspective.
I don't know Groucho by McGsStepson	Jul 18th, 2006 10:31:40 AM
I hated it. "Callbacks" and all. And I get the point of them. Its not a very good "callback" when the joke was just "OK" in the first place - unless your under 10 years old. And I had high hopes for this film. I enjoyed the first one. Yeah my step daddy would have give his left one for this BO but the box-office for POTC 3 will fall off intevitably. Not that its ANY measurement of the quality of the film but Pirates fans keep bringing it up all the time. Sorry. P.S. for you Pirates lovers I posted some links in another talkback to POTC 3 photos that I was excited about until I saw POTC 2.
$500 is VERY unlikely. by minderbinder	Jul 18th, 2006 03:37:39 PM
But this will make 400 easy, probably a bit more. And I'm not too worried about part 3, based on the numbers word of mouth and repeat business are surprisingly strong. Sure, that doesn't mean it's a good movie, just that audiences are obviously liking it. Personally, I can't wait to see it again, I just have to make the time.
She doesn't do it for me... by cobb	Jul 19th, 2006 04:23:51 AM
Top marks for Depp, the FX's and Zimmers music. Most impressive and I really look forward to more segments in this franchise. Kiera Knightley was alright, but physically she doesn't really "do it for me" (but that's just me). As for Orlando - every time I see him I can't help hearing the voice of Billy Boyd, from the LOTR DVD-documentaries, saying. "Are you Orlando Bluuuum?"
On track for fastest to $300M. by minderbinder	Jul 21st, 2006 03:40:08 PM
Will make it easily on Saturday. So far it's staying ahead of Shrek 2's pace. Wonder how long that will last. I doubt it will hit $450M but it's still having amazing weekdays.
Will not make $400 - FORGET ABOUT $500 HA! by McGsStepson	Jul 22nd, 2006 01:36:57 PM
It will have $316 at the end of the weekend and its decreasing at the rate of about %50 per weekend. It would still have to do $84 million more in its run and I think it is slowing.
Stepson, you're on crack. by minderbinder	Jul 24th, 2006 11:06:59 AM
There's no way in hell this won't make it to 400, it will do it easily at this point. Hell, it could beat the record for FASTEST to 400 (just like it did for fastest to 100, 200, 300) It's higher than ANY other movie was at this point in its run. It just had a third weekend with a drop of just 43%, better than the third weekends of Spidey2, Sith, and Shrek2. It's having weekdays that are WAY ahead of any movie at this point in its run. Not to mention that most movies like this have smaller and smaller drops as their runs continue. So far this movie has excellent legs, especially for a hyped sequel, the box office numbers point to great word of mouth and plenty of repeat viewings. I know it must make you sad to see a movie you don't like being hugely successful, but don't give in to denial. And seriously..."HA!"? What, you're gloating that the movie you've picked a fight with will "only" make $400 million? That it will "only" end up the #5 or 6 movie of all time?
Given... by Bubba Gillman	Aug 4th, 2006 10:27:51 AM
...that the ending of DMC was lifted wholesale from The Empire Strikes Back, I think Lucas should sue if there are Ewoks in World's End. Enough is enough. I didn't really hate DMC, but thought it was overly long and tedious in spots. And yes, I am mad because it made more than Superman Returns although Superman Returns is the infinitely better film. I know I'm late coming to this party, but it's almost lunch time here at work and I need something to kill the next five minutes.
Pirates will clear 400M in another 2 weeks, max... by inhumans99	Aug 13th, 2006 04:03:24 AM
while it is kind-of odd that Superman has not yet cleared 200M after 6 weeks!! Warner's had such high expectation for Superman...publicly they are probably putting a happy spin on the numbers (like everyone else tries to point out...how can you seriously call a nearly 200M grossing film a dissapointment, answer, when the film was expected to be one of the all time biggest grossing films, yes, that is why someone could declare that SR's run at the box-office was rather weak), but when a movie may not even match the gross of a film like Batman Begins (which only cost 150 million to boot, a lot less than SR)...all I have to say is OUCH! I know the talkbacker(s) who claimed SR would clear 200M in a week was perhaps a tad optimistic, no matter how much the critics like the film before it opened, that fast a sprint to 200M would be an extreme hurdle for ANY film to overcome, but c'mon, after six weeks anyone who claims Warner's is not privately VERY dissapointed with the lackluster performance of what should have been one of the top two grossing films of the summer (perhaps entire year, which has seen X3, Cars, and Pirates outgross SR), is just accepting the company line, hook, line, and sinker. I say again, isn't it kind-of weird/surreal that the first number in SR's box office total is still a 1!?!
Yep, at $392, it won't be long. by minderbinder	Aug 14th, 2006 01:16:12 PM
At this pace it will beat spidey by a bit for #6, but the next one is about $430 which is out of reach. Amazing run. I don't know what kind of idiot would say it would never get to 400 after it was the FASTEST to 300. Ready for that big plate of crow, stepson?
Took only 2 days longer than Shrek2 to make $400M. by minderbinder	Aug 21st, 2006 12:19:55 PM
And I can't believe how fucking huge this thing is overseas, it's still making a ton every weekend. Reportedly at $924 million, it looks to easily pass a billion, and I wonder if it might even go beyond ROTK for #2 of all time worldwide. Pretty amazing.
Ooo arrrr by Dolph	Sep 21st, 2006 04:25:11 PM
Me 'earty

Talkbacks

Harry loves PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: DEAD MAN'S CHEST.

User login

Quick Talkback

Talkbacks