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Harry feels CLERKS II holds the answers to a better life for all!

Not a First Poster by Ranson	Jun 17th, 2006 12:15:15 AM
I think
Screw first! Who will be the lucky bastard at 36? by Shermdawg	Jun 17th, 2006 12:19:12 AM
That's the number you wanna shoot for in a Kevin Smith talkback. :P
ok, ok by decfx	Jun 17th, 2006 12:29:12 AM
should be a good flick.
I like Smith and all.. by OBSD	Jun 17th, 2006 12:29:57 AM
but his "message" movies always ring a bit false to me and fall flat upon repeated viewings. If Harry's right and this is one of those....I just may have to skip it.
Don't forget to book your photographer Harry. by Vim Fuego	Jun 17th, 2006 12:33:28 AM
Those bastards get booked up quicker than anything. Is Rodriguez shooting the video? That'd be cool.
Harry's reviews have turned into therapist sessions by Gwai Lo	Jun 17th, 2006 12:34:49 AM
Not those warm hug with raspberries on the cheek therapist sessions either..
This a review, or an episode of Seinfeld? by NeoDevilbaneX	Jun 17th, 2006 12:37:32 AM
... "I walked down the street with my girlfriend, I woke up tired, yadda yadda, saw Clerks II, then yadda yadda"
So what's the ratio of B&W footage to the color? by NeoDevilbaneX	Jun 17th, 2006 12:38:23 AM
What's the final word?
Yoko? by Forestal	Jun 17th, 2006 12:42:00 AM
These strange references to Harry's girlfriend are disturbing.
Hey Kev, if you read this... by Shermdawg	Jun 17th, 2006 12:48:01 AM
And we all know you will. If you ever decide to make a "real" film, (a film more widely accepted with the general movie public) instead of another sapfest like Jersey Girl (your only "bad" movie) how about making a Stan Lee biopic? Cast your pal Jason as Stan, and do it quick-like, because a.Earl's all sorts-a-hot right now, and Mr.Lee ain't gonna be around forever. It would be nice for him to see the finished product, because if you do it right, this thing could get some serious nominations. C'mon dude. Do it. You know the fans would eat that up. The Academy would eat it up, they love that kind of stuff. And most importantly, I got a felling deep down, you would want to do something like this. So at least consider it, cause it would be golden. GOLDEN I SAY!!!
Kevin has always made me laugh by beastie	Jun 17th, 2006 12:49:48 AM
When I was a teenager, I used to idolize him. I used to think that he was the voice of my generation and the generation before me. That over-enthusiasm has long since faded. However, I still laugh at his jokes. His films, books and Q&A sessions may not be the epitomy of art like I once felt they were, but the jokes usually work.
UNO? by THE KNIGHT	Jun 17th, 2006 01:05:51 AM
First? Dos? Thres?
I'm with you Shermdawg by Shakes	Jun 17th, 2006 01:22:04 AM
That's a great idea for a Stan Lee biopic. Excellent idea of casting Lee as the Man too. Back in the late '90's I thought Kevin should have tried doing a movie about the formation of Image Comics.
"to make end by DirkBelig	Jun 17th, 2006 01:22:05 AM
Now that is what they call a Freudian typo!
Script Sample Extract. by seppukudkurosawa	Jun 17th, 2006 01:28:46 AM
Dant
Sherm, make it a Stan AND JACK film... by Flim Springfield	Jun 17th, 2006 01:30:14 AM
I've said for awhile that could be a great film.
Great review, Harry by Jay Jay	Jun 17th, 2006 01:34:16 AM
Looking forward to this one now.
Jason Mewes has turned out to be a pretty fine slice of by seppukudkurosawa	Jun 17th, 2006 01:58:26 AM
man since he stopped zippin the coofoo. Oh and since I didn't say it the first time, this review, like all of your reviews, is no doubt gonna get you a bit of a roasting, but the haters be damned, it was very well done. Err Harry aren't you the guy who said he loved Jeepers Creepers and Godzilla? Just wanted to get that out of the way before someone with a bug the size of Montana up their ass does it for me- thanks for the review big guy.
Kevin Smith by VanLingoMungo	Jun 17th, 2006 02:10:11 AM
Imagine you're a 14 year old boy, and you masturbate four times a day. Now, imagine you're a 27 year old man, and you masturbate once a day. The same jokes just aren't as funny, and the heroes you worship are 1/4 as good as you thought they were. That's Kevin Smith.
"Fucking Funny" now there's an endorsement by Monkeybutt2000	Jun 17th, 2006 02:17:01 AM
Kevin Smith = Skip it
Kevin Smith still doable. by Jon E Cin	Jun 17th, 2006 02:32:33 AM
Good to know. I'll be checking this out.
True that, Van by Spacker Dave	Jun 17th, 2006 02:33:29 AM
Perhaps if he had the balls to step up and be a film director insted of hiding in his little self-gratifying world then maybe he would still garner the respect I wish he was due. I love Smith's films. There was a time when I would have gladly watched Clerks 2, 3, 4, fucking 28 had I not been told that after Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back there would be no more view-askewniverse movies, it was time to grow up and move on. Okay, fair call. Man cannot be saited by dick and fart jokes alone. But to get all mopey 'cause Jersey Girl turned out to be a turd, turn down the opportunity to direct Green Hornet and then pack up his balls and run back to his proverbial 'well'... Fuck him, guys. Its time to make this tubby bitch grow up for real this time and not perpetuate his 12 year old ego.
Newsflash - Water shortage in Texas! by Grando	Jun 17th, 2006 02:33:30 AM
After Harry has his yearly shower. In other news cotton shortages were rumoured after his towel was made.
Jennifer Schwalbach is too ugly to be in movies by MaryTylerMorbid	Jun 17th, 2006 02:36:14 AM
Who cares about this movie? Anyone? Hello?
Nice review Harry by Bobo_Vision	Jun 17th, 2006 02:45:35 AM
Kevin Smith's movies always remind me of the time I worked in a restaurant kitchen with 20 and 30 somethings when I was in college and they spent most of their paycheck on beer and cigarettes after each shift. I always felt ashamed for them, and the fact that they didn't pursue more in their life.
Bobo's post continued---- by seppukudkurosawa	Jun 17th, 2006 02:47:57 AM
"And I sure showed those slacker good-for-nothings. I now post on AICN talkbacks".
Introspection by Bobo_Vision	Jun 17th, 2006 02:54:33 AM
seppukudkurosawa, I'm not sure what you're trying to say about someone who posts on an AICN talkback...but your attempt at an insult is like when a kid tells his brother that he's a 'son of a bitch'.
It's a movie for talkbackers? by Orionsangels	Jun 17th, 2006 02:59:21 AM
You mean Kevin knows the secret to escaping from my parents basement? - I've got to see this movie!!!
Ah, but I don't have any of these fancy aspirations by seppukudkurosawa	Jun 17th, 2006 03:01:16 AM
I realise that this place is my lot in life. One day I'll die slumped over a keyboard, and some irate talkbacker will say: "'ashdoasdh?' What the hell's that supposed to mean? Your game's slacking my friend". My suggestion is this: once you accept that AICN Pwns our souls and that we'll never amount to anything more than a bunch of disembodied voices underneath a series of movie articles, everything just gets easier.
what by TStreet	Jun 17th, 2006 03:02:57 AM
yeaf
Gabba gabba by Bobo_Vision	Jun 17th, 2006 03:06:22 AM
Gabba gabba, one of us, one of us, gabba gabba. This is why I only post on AICN in short periodic episodes. I posted for a few weeks last summer, and will do so again this year, so enjoy Bobo while he lasts.
"Real Director"? by TStreet	Jun 17th, 2006 03:09:29 AM
I love people saying "He is not a real director". Is there a definition of what a REAL director is? Most likely those that say this have never ever directed a movie in their life. First they wouldn't know how to even go about it, and second they would never have the drive to accomplish such a task. All their energy is spent deciding and commenting on what they feel makes a REAL director. There is more than one genre of movies in this world, and guess what, not every director directs every type of movie. Certain directors make certain types of movies. And not every movie is made for everyone.
...... by seppukudkurosawa	Jun 17th, 2006 03:16:00 AM
How did you find out I'm Johnny Eck's grandson? Does my posting style make it that obvious that I only have half a body? And I thought the Internet was the only place I could go where I'd be equal with the full-bodies roaming outside, but now you just went and stole the ONE thing I had. Thank you very much Bobo, you just ruined a man's life today. ;-)
So...much...clogging by BannedOnTheRun	Jun 17th, 2006 04:02:33 AM
Read the line, "As we each took our showers," take a look at Harry's photo from the Nacho Libre review, and tell me you aren't having visions of the next Steven King novel.
For you statistics geeks by BannedOnTheRun	Jun 17th, 2006 04:10:39 AM
The sentence "Let
Harry's Wedding Video by skynetbauxi	Jun 17th, 2006 04:28:36 AM
hey Harry, if you'd like a total geek and not-entirely-untalented young "filmmaker" to do your wedding video (or maybe even a crazy little wedding movie), let me know! you can check out some of the clips I've created for work (http://www.avi-film.com/sites /download.htm) and for star-wars-geeky fun (http://starwars.avi-film.com/ sites/videos.htm) and even for an AICN contest (http://stopmotion.avi-film.co m) online. also, nice review, looking forward to that movie! Tom
I'm 37!? by Jan Itor	Jun 17th, 2006 04:45:06 AM

"Making end's meat"... by LlGHTST0RMER	Jun 17th, 2006 04:45:43 AM
...perhaps the funniest typo in the history of funny typos. Although I still like "a boy's gotta have herpes." (Did'ja ever notice how close the O and the P on a keyboard are?)
Hey, Screw you, Knowles. by LlGHTST0RMER	Jun 17th, 2006 04:55:41 AM
Of course, I only say that because I turn 30 next week and I never did direct the amazing movie that would make me the world's next huge cinematic wunderkind. So... sorry for the outburst, Harry. But Goddamn it all anyway, you know?
Actually, Harry, you've made me want to see it less... by LlGHTST0RMER	Jun 17th, 2006 05:12:27 AM
...for the same reasons that made you love it. Just thinking about Dante and Randal coming to terms with the passing of time and the overall futility of their aimless youth kind of makes me... I dunno... miss the 90's. Things seemed a lot more possible back then. Even though there was already a lot to be jaded about, it still felt like big things were on the horizon. Or at least if nothing else, it sure felt like movies were better then. And now we have a movie where two notable caricatures of youth from that era have to learn to deal with the everyday tedium of having grown up and realizing the most vital portion of their youth has expired... Jesus. What a downer. And yeah, yeah... I'm reading way too much into it. It's Clerks II, fer Chrissakes. But man... I just don't want to see Dante mourn his youth any more that I want to mourn my own. In a related story... Fuck. I can't believe I'm turning 30.
by foreignerbelt	Jun 17th, 2006 06:15:38 AM
I'd like to believe that "end's meat" was deliberate. Also, Harry, nice job. A good review and a good point there at the beginning- it is, after all, your goddamn site. don't ever fucking stop. p.s. you're fat.
Is this all Gen-X has to show? by Damer1	Jun 17th, 2006 06:59:53 AM
I'm ashamed to be a mid-thirties Gen-X'er and having an no talent ass clown like Kevin Smith speaking for my generation.
What movie mack MEANT to type was... by DocPazuzu	Jun 17th, 2006 07:17:19 AM
..."what is this 'woman' of which you speak?" No wonder it was all gobbledigook to him.
Simple review by royny2387	Jun 17th, 2006 07:30:23 AM
I saw the film a few weeks ago. Harry's right about the emotional part, he's very right about Rosario Dawson, and he's right about the funny. The film is a riot, one of the best I've seen this year and definitely one of the funniest I've seen in three to five years. It stands alone (even though it is a sequel), but having a knowledge of the View Askewniverse never hurts. Call me a plant. I don't care. I know the truth. And the truth is, this is the rare comedy with heart, soul, and plenty of legitimate, unforced laughs. Bravo Kevin. This is one of your best films.
Clerks II vs Click by PervOmatic	Jun 17th, 2006 08:06:46 AM
Sandler and Smith battle it out in the cinema to see who can claim the title of "World's Greatest Hack". Thirteen year-olds and virgin internet geeks will tear this nation apart I tell yah.
Sounds good by stvnhthr	Jun 17th, 2006 08:13:41 AM
I'll give it a try. Even when Kevin only makes a base hit it is enjoyable to watch. This sounds like maybe anouther homerun. Oh, and continuing the pre-marriage advice: Start the premarriage counseling early! like at least 6 months out. Too many people plan for a wedding and forget that is only for one day; what they need to plan for is the MARRIAGE, that's for life! Things don't just work because you are in love, it takes planning-which would be cool to see Hollywood make into a movie instead of the same old boy-must-find-the-perfect-girl -and-then it-all-magically-works-out flick.
Hey Harry ol' buddy ol' pal. by Bodhizattwa	Jun 17th, 2006 08:30:21 AM
Nice review. I don't even need to watch the movie now. I don't mind the spoilers, cause your review was probably better than the film itself. You rock my boat.
Even by Harry's standards... by Cash Bailey	Jun 17th, 2006 08:35:35 AM
...that 'review' was a complete cluster-fuck.
Loved the trailer by moviemaniac-7	Jun 17th, 2006 08:40:19 AM
That moment where Randall looks on as the other two guys quote LOTR... Brilliance! What part is Jason Lee in? Hopefully Brody.
Can't believe you didn't mention Elias by RenoNevada2000	Jun 17th, 2006 08:46:34 AM
Funny kid. PIllow pants.
Can someone explain this to me? by Bazka Berzerker	Jun 17th, 2006 08:47:58 AM
How a mid-30's Star Wars nerd who hasn't done a thing in his life gets to choose between Jennifer Schwalbach and Rosario "sexbomb goddess" Dawson. Doesn't that sound a bit... Unrealistic? I would like the concept more if Dante was choosing between normal women who are realistically in his reach. Kinda kills the realism.
Jason Mewes is the MAN now that he is clean!!! by OGREISHERE	Jun 17th, 2006 09:19:02 AM
I have been reading Kevin's blogs about Jason's 10 year struggle to get and stay clean of the junk. I have'nt been more moved by anything in a long long time. You guys should check it out. http://silentbobspeaks.com/?m= 20060328 Anyway I could'nt be more proud of you man.
Harry is so in love - isn't it beautiful? by Cedar_Room	Jun 17th, 2006 09:35:15 AM
no - the thought makes me retch. Stick to watching films and wanking over a Bryan Singer photo you ginger ape.
I thought Jay and Silent Bob were retired, by indiephantom	Jun 17th, 2006 10:12:51 AM

i love Smith but i'm not going to waste time with this by mikey mike	Jun 17th, 2006 10:27:39 AM
2 hours of hearing people talk about pop culture isn't exactly my cup of tea
Meh... by LeiaDown&FuckHer	Jun 17th, 2006 10:35:24 AM
It's basically the potty mouthed bastard love child of Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back and Jersey Girl with a Clerks dressing, and proves, once and for all (to me at least) that not only isn't Smith's career going anywhere, it's hard stuck in fucking reverse. Yeah, there's the odd funny scene or line, there's some fun moments, but it's all so pre-packaged and deliberate and cloying that I think only the hardcore Smithites are going to be really into this one. For most other people, it's just same shit, different day. It's a passable watch through, but it's nowhere near being an out and out good film. I also think it's a damn shame that Smith steadfastly refuses to have the balls to push himself as a director, writer or film maker in general, sure he might fall flat on his face if he stepped out of his comfort zone, but then again he might not too. Doubt we'll ever know. I mean sure, the guy has thus far shown practically zero talent from a visual or stylistic standpoint, he's just a point n' shooter, but maybe if he took some risks he could turn that around and actually grow as a film-maker rather than just continue to stagnate, or worse still, rot. I think he might actually have it in him if he gave it a shot, but he just seems too damn lazy (or scared) to try. My opinion anyway.
Harry, take my advice... by ejcarter9	Jun 17th, 2006 10:40:18 AM
... forget a photographer. Seriously. Photographers take all the fun out of the wedding day. If photos are a necessity, though, do the disposable camera thing for all your friends and family.
moviemack by DocPazuzu	Jun 17th, 2006 10:57:08 AM
Sorry, but this whole "twunt" thing is doing about as much business as "generation dumbass".
I look forward to it as well. by Doom II	Jun 17th, 2006 11:04:14 AM
Of course, I am a fan, but not a blind one. I don't like Dogma much at all and Jersey Girl was "alright" fow what it was. I prefer Smith with NO budget, directing dialogue between characters. That's what he excells at.
Moviemack... by IamNumber1	Jun 17th, 2006 11:14:00 AM
I just wanted to say that Batman Begins sucked nuts. I hated it. All they fucking did was talk and fight with a shaky cam while hiding british accents. And I can't even remember what they talked or fought about!! Back on topic, I'll check out clerks 2 when it comes out.
My pidgeon assassin failed me by Bob of the Shire	Jun 17th, 2006 11:14:00 AM
Back to the drawing board.
Clerks II: Dante gets P.W.'d by Doom II	Jun 17th, 2006 11:24:12 AM
It's funny how guys have a blast together, but as soon as they get get hooked up or married, there friends take a MAJOR backseat. Then the relasionship eventually ends and they want to hang out with their buddies again. I am married and I also hang out with my friends as often as possible. WITHOUT my wife. For all you pussy-whipped guys out there remember...Statistically you will be single again someday. Don't fuck over your true friends for a girl!
From one uber-geek to another... by sith-vol	Jun 17th, 2006 11:37:20 AM
...I am a thirty something uber geek with two kids who works at a fast food joint to pay my bills and has pretty much never done much with mys life either. I don't think I need a movie to remind me of my pathetic life. Pass.
Smith and Stan Lee by barrhead	Jun 17th, 2006 12:02:45 PM
Hmmm...Interesting idea. I think it would work if you treated the Marvel story like a comedy--buying into the mythology of the Bullpen and all that stuff. I'd be a little concerned that Smith might not be able to write dialogue suitable for the early '60s, however. His writing style is pretty distinctive. I like Jason Lee for Stan Lee--I'd be a little worried about whether he could turn down the smarm enough, however. Frankly, I think Michael Chabon would kick ass at doing a 'serious' movie about early Marvel. Knows and resepcts comics and comics history, has done movie work before and won a bloody Pulitzer for Kavalier and Clay. I think there's an interesting story behind Marvel's history--maybe not as romantic as some people would like it to be, but interesting anyways.
Harry, at first, i was happy for your happiness... by future help	Jun 17th, 2006 12:10:33 PM
but then, you just came all over it.
Yeah Harry, what about Elias? by slone13	Jun 17th, 2006 12:29:29 PM
That character has got to be one of the best additions to the Viewaskewniverse ever. 'Pillow pants' is legendary.
I just don't care by Blink316E	Jun 17th, 2006 12:38:25 PM
Harry stop talking about your life. GET TO THE FUCKING MOVIE! If you can't help it copy/paste pieces of your life story to another word processer and release it later into a book about your life so I don't have to buy it and read about your fucking life because I DON'T CARE! And don't say "That's the way I write." Remember people read this bullshit.
Harry DID release a book about his life... by seppukudkurosawa	Jun 17th, 2006 12:44:51 PM
and heavy-pimped it on the main page for about 3 years.
Harry's fallen for his live-in nurse. by Nate Champion	Jun 17th, 2006 01:46:57 PM
How else can you explain why a 20-year-old girl would spend her life taking care of an 800 pound immobile hunk of sweaty man-crunk?
Are there any pictures of Yoko? by battery	Jun 17th, 2006 02:29:32 PM
I hear she's breaking up Ain't-it-Cool.
"Amy is by Sworn42Enemy	Jun 17th, 2006 02:35:22 PM
Joey Lauren Adams was Alyssa..Amy was the chick Silent Bob dumped. Good one Knowles
What was the first Clerks about? by godhatesyou	Jun 17th, 2006 04:38:42 PM
And what is a Clerk?
I Love Harry, But I Can't Take This Seriously Any More. by heywood jablomie	Jun 17th, 2006 04:40:29 PM
I can get with his pans, but Harry has written SO MUCH praise for so many movies that fall somewhere between so-so and bloody godawful (I'll never forget his "BLOW is better than GOODFELLAS!" review) that it just goes in one ear and out the other. CLERKS 2 may be just fine, but gimme a break--I seriously doubt it's all this great.
"Twunt"? by BayouWilly	Jun 17th, 2006 04:43:06 PM
"Generation Dumbass"? Fuck Kevin Smith... I want to see moviemack's statement on the youth of today! Someone drive down to the Arby's in Kansas, then drop that genius off at The Weinstein Company in Hollywood and tell that future Scorcese to get a-crackin'!
My girlfriend says its a new Waynes World... by godhatesyou	Jun 17th, 2006 04:45:55 PM
But not as popular.
I think it sounds really good. by godhatesyou	Jun 17th, 2006 04:47:49 PM
NOT!!!!
So, big Spider-man news... by Son of Batman	Jun 17th, 2006 05:03:16 PM
in Civil War #2 and not even a mention on AICN? So lame.
Harry's MySpace by topaz4206	Jun 17th, 2006 05:46:50 PM
What is it? I wanna see this Korean girl!
Try this ultra-super-secret URL by BannedOnTheRun	Jun 17th, 2006 06:28:20 PM
http://www.myspace.com/aintitc ool
Kevin Smith needs something bad to happen to him by fiester	Jun 17th, 2006 07:37:13 PM
That's his problem: his life's been too charmed, too happy. The guy needs some misery and struggle to give his stuff an edge. He is teetering on Robin Williamsville himself with his constant and sickeningly overweening sentimentality. Sure, he throws in a fart and dick joke every now and again, but it's quaint. Everyone knows the best comedians are miserably fucks. There's a reason for that. Comedy comes from pain and struggle, not a charmed life where everything goes your way.
I highly doubt everything goes Kevins way.... by Jon E Cin	Jun 17th, 2006 07:58:04 PM
Have you seen Jersey Girl? You think that was part of his "charmed life"?
zzzzzzzzzzzzz........ by chickychow	Jun 17th, 2006 08:26:59 PM
thats my reaction to pretty much every Harry review. then why do I keep reading? Guess the same reason i watch Saved By the Bell whenever its on.
Kevin Smith's charmed life?!?! by chickychow	Jun 17th, 2006 08:30:37 PM
Depends on your definition of the word I guess. Sure he's "charmed" because we all know his name and he's pretty lucky his house hasn't been torched by disgruntled fans, but he makes shitty movies pretty consistently. What he needs is... oh I dunno, SKILL. or TALENT. Something along those lines.
fiester by shutterghost	Jun 17th, 2006 08:55:28 PM
Pick up a bio of Robin Williams sometime. Hardly a charmed life. Williams seems to have made peace with his demons, but they're still there. I don't think having a fucked up life makes you funny. Also we aren't privy to whatever skeletons Smith has lurking in his closet. Wishing doom on someone so you can laugh a little more seems pretty harsh.
Wow, I just tried Harry's MySpace and... by Shermdawg	Jun 17th, 2006 08:57:31 PM
it messed up my browser sumthin fierce, I had to "end task" that sucker. I dare not venture back, Ma-ma-ma-mamma says MySpace is "THE DEBIL"!
Thanks Banned (And: Yoko) by topaz4206	Jun 17th, 2006 11:36:20 PM
Thanks for the URL Banned. Yoko is cute Harry! Congrats man. BTW, 80 MILLION friends? How does something like that happen?
Harry has a girlfriend?!?!?!?!?! by StrangeCo	Jun 17th, 2006 11:51:14 PM
Wow. Who knew? (LONG BEAT) Except, of course, anyone who's ever ventured remotely near any post Harry has made in a long, long, long, long, long, long time. (Hey, I'm sure that's... SOMEBODY.) Congrats, Harry. Keep up the, uh, uh, good work. (Now, who seriously wants to debate whether or not the world is coming to an end?)
"I still write the way I write..." by StrangeCo	Jun 17th, 2006 11:53:11 PM
I.e., "without editing?" Still luvin' ya, Harry!
Wait.... by StrangeCo	Jun 18th, 2006 12:02:41 AM
Harry's marrying a GIRL? Of our SPECIES? Say it ain't so, Sam!
Gandalf The Grey by StrangeCo	Jun 18th, 2006 12:03:58 AM
I only post here so that someone will ask me why I post here. Thanks, dude, I appreciate your making my posting mean something.
Harry's settling for the girl... by ZeroCorpse	Jun 18th, 2006 02:48:33 AM
Because the original King Kong model turned him down... But if it weren't in Peter Jackson's private stash, you know Harry would have slapped a dress on it and took it to the justice o'the peace.
Sorry Harry by VanLingoMungo	Jun 18th, 2006 03:45:54 AM
Kevin isn't smarter...He doesn't have a quicker wit...He just made a movie on credit when most of us couldn't. I can think of a hundred jokes my friends and I have made that eclipse his work. We were dropping Toulouse Lautrec jokes when he was dropping dick and fart jokes. Our Star Wars commentaries were far deeper than his "Death Star/Contractor" missives. While some of us went on to become teachers and PhD's, he went on to direct Jersey Girl. I never sold a screenplay, but I never sold my soul, either.
"my fave" by Traumnovelle	Jun 18th, 2006 03:59:14 AM
Harry. Don't write like that.. please.
"Let by newc0253	Jun 18th, 2006 05:58:46 AM
ah harry, if only you could write that more often.
Pssst... Harry... there was no "Amy" by Razorback	Jun 18th, 2006 08:58:05 AM
The Amy, in Chasing Amy, was on off-screen character... you silly monkey.
"make ends meat" by samsquanch	Jun 18th, 2006 10:46:17 AM
fucking hell.
"We were dropping Toulouse Lautrec jokes": You kill me. by HappyHamster	Jun 18th, 2006 11:28:05 AM
Some of you fanboys just need to give it up. Stop hating on Smith and inventing reasons he's worth tens of millions of dollars and you're not. It's your right to not like his films, but all the personal attacks just makes you guys look silly. Yes VinLingoMungo, I'm sure the reason you're not a multi-multi millionaire is because you "never sold your soul". Yep, that's it.
Me and my friends were dropping by OurManInMontr	Jun 18th, 2006 11:49:48 AM
Chernobyl Meltdown Anniversary jokes when you were dropping Toulouse Lautrec jokes. Isn't that special?
Harry digs Kevin cause they're both fat-fuck blowhards by VatoLoco	Jun 18th, 2006 12:19:29 PM
'nuff said.
Jersey Girl 2 by gorydon	Jun 18th, 2006 12:26:07 PM
We can only dream.
Too soon by Wazoo	Jun 18th, 2006 02:19:24 PM
Dante and Randal shouldn't have been brought back until they reached 50, then we could really see how pathetic their lives are. (BTW, great idea on the Stan Lee biopic, even if only for like SciFi or FX.)
Everytime Harry talks about his gf, by blackwood	Jun 18th, 2006 02:45:13 PM
I see Leia strapped to Jabba. But, in a good way. Like, the in between takes when they were all sweet nothings and positive ooze. Uh. Good review. Sort of what I expected from it.
Mind you, VatoLoco is a fat fuck blowhard by Razorback	Jun 18th, 2006 03:15:19 PM
It is true.
Wow, VanLingoMungo by BayouWilly	Jun 18th, 2006 05:05:29 PM
That has to be in the top five pretentious statements I've ever seen on here. That's saying a helluva lot. I don't understand people's bitterness towards other people's success in movies. Make one yourself! It's not fucking rocket science. Look at Clerks, El Mariachi, and the Blair Witch. They look like shit! Their directors are millionaires! If you want it badly enough, you will sack up and back up your shit-talking.
Harry-marriage is an outdated concept by beamish13	Jun 18th, 2006 07:28:44 PM
Save your money. Be secure enough in your relationship with Yoko to realize that the two of you do not need a slip of paper and rings to prove that you love one another. Besides, if you cohabitate one another and continue to live in the U.S., you'll receive all of the legal benefits enjoyed by married couples
I want to see Clerks 2... by isildur29	Jun 18th, 2006 07:39:52 PM
I think it looks like alot of fun and will make me laugh. Which I am assuming is why Kevin SMith makes movies... so people can enjoy them however they want (the money is probably nice too) but why why why does the dude get so much hate on this site? He IS what half these TB'rs wish they could be. A nerd who makes movies with nerdy fanboy jokes. Deal with it. Since I know you will read this and most likely respond and talk shit to the TB I would like to say thanks for giving us a comedy to see this summer.
sounds like Harry found the horse. by durhay	Jun 18th, 2006 07:50:16 PM

dogma and strike back sucked bad by reckni	Jun 18th, 2006 08:27:20 PM
Haven't seen Jersey Girl, hope this one will be a return to form for Kevin Smith. He's a gifted filmmaker, but I don't think his talent has been truly realized.
Let by MrCere	Jun 18th, 2006 09:04:32 PM
I wish the subject line of my post was the first line of the review. I am Happy for Harry, really, and sincerely wish him lots of joy in married life - cuse its hard as hell - but I don't really wanna read about it.
Her name wasn't Am it was Alyssa Jones by Platious.com	Jun 18th, 2006 10:23:37 PM
Remember?
"Amy" type-o by Platious.com	Jun 18th, 2006 10:24:47 PM

Is Yoko going to split up AICN as she did the Beatles? by Marnamin	Jun 18th, 2006 11:02:58 PM
Please say it ain't so
who would have thought by ZO	Jun 19th, 2006 08:10:26 AM
harry would kiss kevin smiths tush??? no way!
beamish13 is right, Harry by BayouWilly	Jun 19th, 2006 10:00:16 AM
Why buy the cow when you can get your nuts sucked for free? That's what I say. But seriously, pre-nup, man, pre-nup.
Ha! I'm getting married in just over a month... by brycemonkey	Jun 19th, 2006 10:11:00 AM
good news is that she's really rich so I don't want a pre-nup. I'm going to milk the cow. Cash Cow that is! Giggity Digitty-Do!
If these two women were an ounce less by rev_skarekroe	Jun 19th, 2006 10:18:54 AM
An ounce less what? What are you talking about?
Marriage is outdated? by Kid Joker	Jun 19th, 2006 11:10:59 AM
You make it seem like a fashion rather than something that means a lot to people. You're a dickhead. And to all the haters saying Smith's a sellout, you guys are a bunch of contradicting assholes. If he made Clerks 2 the way you guys think you would've prefferred, you would've hated that to. At least he's moving you guys just havem't grown up. The sad thing is you sound like 14 year olds in text but you're all 30 odd years old or so.
Rosario's Titties.... by McTitties	Jun 19th, 2006 11:38:50 AM
Are Works Of Art. I want to become friends with them both.
Interesting take on Jersey Girl by Falcon5768	Jun 19th, 2006 01:36:52 PM
You know, I watched it for the first time 2 weeks ago and I have to say, as bad as I was expecting it, looking at it, and looking at my own situation in life, I have to say that movie hit me like a ton of bricks. I didnt quite have a kid, but I did have a major lifestyle change that took me out of working in something I used to love, and stuck me doing something that I enjoyed, but not as much as I had. For a long time I tried to grab at what I used to have, the girl who I loved (who happens to be a lesbian now after 2 more failed relationships after me) working back at a big company and having a band instead of working in a schoolsystem. Not making nearly the money i could have. But watching the movie I took to heart the whole be the who you are now, not the what you where moral. I honestly think in 5-10 years once the whole J-lo Ben bullshit that clouded the whole movie is a distant memory and people watch it in new light, it will become one of Kevins most memorable and heart touching movies. One question I have to ask Kevin, my buddy Kevin (Big Kev from O&A/ writer for ToyFair) was a extra on the movie, did his scene ever make it in because I must have missed it.
McTitties by BayouWilly	Jun 19th, 2006 02:04:49 PM
Why did that name and that post make me laugh? Sometimes it's the simple things in life...
Bring forth by Decker71	Jun 19th, 2006 02:24:01 PM
the bashing of King Geek by his minions of lesser geeks
by Decker71	Jun 19th, 2006 03:17:25 PM
Why is it that any time Kevin Smith is mentioned the AICN talkback explodes with vicious attacks towards Smith and anyone who may enjoy his films? What is it that he did to any of you hateful bastards. Did he kick your dog? Did he fuck your girlfriend or the girl you fantasize about being your girlfriend? Did he cheat you out of a job? I'm guessing he has done none of the above to any of you. The only thing he has done is live the geek dream and it pisses you off. If you grew up to be doctors and lawyers and such, goody, goody for you. Kevin grew up to be a successful film director, with a nice house and sweet family and friends that support him. So what if he has made a couple of movies that your bag. Big fuckin deal the world isn't going to end because Jersey Girl didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars. Nor is it going to end because you in all of your fan boy flop sweat glory didn't absolutey love it. Your annonimity gives you the resource to talk shit, but at the end of the day Kevin Smith is living his dream. Are you? Or are you wasting your time being bitter?
by Decker71	Jun 19th, 2006 03:19:53 PM
Why is it that any time Kevin Smith is mentioned the AICN talkback explodes with vicious attacks towards Smith and anyone who may enjoy his films? What is it that he did to any of you hateful bastards. Did he kick your dog? Did he fuck your girlfriend or the girl you fantasize about being your girlfriend? Did he cheat you out of a job? I'm guessing he has done none of the above to any of you. The only thing he has done is live the geek dream and it pisses you off. If you grew up to be doctors and lawyers and such, goody, goody for you. Kevin grew up to be a successful film director, with a nice house and sweet family and friends that support him. So what if he has made a couple of movies that aren't your bag. Big fuckin' deal! The world isn't going to end because Jersey Girl didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars. Nor is it going to end because you in all of your fan boy flop sweat glory didn't absolutey love it. Your annonimity gives you the resource to talk shit, but at the end of the day Kevin Smith is living his dream. Are you? Or are you wasting your time being bitter?
by Decker71	Jun 19th, 2006 03:20:08 PM
Why is it that any time Kevin Smith is mentioned the AICN talkback explodes with vicious attacks towards Smith and anyone who may enjoy his films? What is it that he did to any of you hateful bastards. Did he kick your dog? Did he fuck your girlfriend or the girl you fantasize about being your girlfriend? Did he cheat you out of a job? I'm guessing he has done none of the above to any of you. The only thing he has done is live the geek dream and it pisses you off. If you grew up to be doctors and lawyers and such, goody, goody for you. Kevin grew up to be a successful film director, with a nice house and sweet family and friends that support him. So what if he has made a couple of movies that aren't your bag. Big fuckin' deal! The world isn't going to end because Jersey Girl didn't make hundreds of millions of dollars. Nor is it going to end because you in all of your fan boy flop sweat glory didn't absolutey love it. Your annonimity gives you the resource to talk shit, but at the end of the day Kevin Smith is living his dream. Are you? Or are you wasting your time being bitter?
Nup by Decker71	Jun 19th, 2006 03:21:12 PM
Congrats Harry
Nice work Decker71 by rev_skarekroe	Jun 19th, 2006 03:54:22 PM
Real slick posting job there.
Alternative View on Harryspeak by Archive	Jun 19th, 2006 05:31:15 PM
Seems to me Harry writes a review like he might tell a story if we were sitting with him in in his kitchen. To a degree, he probably thinks of this site as his virtual kitchen, and I for one am glad to be welcome here. I like the personalities, I like the discussion, and as I get my film game on, Harry, Moriarty, and Quint will be among those welcome in MY KITCHEN. They treat every film like it's got something to offer, and they treat every person like a friend. That's why they continue to get exclusive interviews. That's why they get set visits. THEY MAKE THE PROCESS FUN FOR EVERYONE, FILMMAKERS INCLUDED. They remind us of why we love movies, even when they offer criticism. It's enriching, unique, and a hell of a lot more enjoyable than reading Ebert - often with the same degree of depth in critique, or more. It's his gift for fascilitating and guiding impassioned discussion that Harry brings to the table as he learns to produce feature films. We don't do Harry any favors by reading his reviews - he does us a favor by writing them. We're guests in his home. If everyone here considered that, we'd have an internet utopia on our hands.
I Feel Sorry For Kevin Smith by ZombieSolutions	Jun 19th, 2006 07:00:20 PM
ya gotta love the guy for being a lucky schlub who did good with the meagre talents he had; it was a good run, and he did really incredibly well for himself, made some really fun and funny movies... but now? man, oh man, has that ship sailed. nobody can deny that he was a cool dude, though, and a guy who made some really funny movies with much love for the geeks. anyone who shits on that is being a jerk. poor some malt on the curb for a fallen homie...
I know it said "Lets skip to the review now" by Novaman5000	Jun 19th, 2006 07:44:01 PM
But I don't think you actually got to the movie for a few paragraphs after that. No hard feelings, though.
Is it really such a big deal? by BayouWilly	Jun 19th, 2006 07:54:15 PM
So Harry likes to tell stories? Who gives a fuck? He's folksy. That's why people come here. Honestly, can we come up with something better to bitch about?
Dios Mio, by VanLingoMungo	Jun 20th, 2006 03:04:55 AM
I haven't been called pretentious this much since my crew team and tennis club were sanctioned for banning Catholics...All joking aside...Seriously kids, you cannot try to claim that this guy is some kind of "voice of a generation". I have nothing against the guy, but if you think he's some sort of comedy genius, you really need to read some Woody Allen, Peter Straub, or Erma Bombeck. I mean, if this is the guy that you want to speak for your generation...
"kevin smith needs something bad to happen to him." by misnomer	Jun 20th, 2006 07:23:37 AM
....wow!!! do any of you ever happen to read back what you actually write? ouch!-all that bitterness just seeps out the cracks in the woodwork hmm? heeheehee : P
Gus Van Rant = funny bastard by The Atomic Worm	Jun 20th, 2006 10:58:10 AM
Though I still like Smith. Also, keepcoolbutcare is a sack of shit.
I like Kevin Smith by Engineer_at_peac	Jun 20th, 2006 10:59:10 AM
I actually kind of like the man more than his films proper, though I enjoy his films as well. There are a lot of people that are way overcritical of his work, and a lot of people who are way undercritical. Clerks 2 looks like a nice film that I will enjoy a lot. The only problem is I'm guessing it will be a limited release which means it won't be anywhere near Alabama, so I'll have to wait for a DVD release.
Ignore the above post by Chief Redcock	Jun 20th, 2006 10:59:36 AM
It's my damn roommate again
I meant The Atomic Worm's post by Chief Redcock	Jun 20th, 2006 11:00:18 AM

You guys are pathetic by Lucidz	Jun 20th, 2006 11:41:48 AM
Really.
Mmmm...end's meat. by Childe Roland	Jun 20th, 2006 02:40:25 PM
You know, I hear if you order that with head cheese from the Arby's in Kansas, moviemack will give you some extra "special sauce" on the side. As for Smith, I do feel a bit sorry for him. He's got some fantastic ideas, most of them revolving around theoretical conversations between eerily like-minded individuals, but there are really only so many showcases for that sort of thing (I still say the board room sequence in Dogma is one of the best scripted, most dramtically tense and simultaneously hilarious scenes in movie history...right up there with the Hopper/Walken exchange in True Romance). The sad fact for Kevin is/was that Clerks was as good as it was ever going to get for a film maker like him. The concept, the execution and the actors in the places they were at the time, were all a case of the stars aligning pretty much perfectly to give Kevin an ideal vehicle for the kind of story he wanted to tell. Trouble was, it wouldn't ever get that good again. So I guess I'm not surprised he's gone back to those characters, but you take them out of that convenience store and they become different people. I don't know if Smith can handle that. I will rent it to see, though.
McTitties is right, by savage_henry	Jun 20th, 2006 03:25:16 PM
Rosario Dawson has unbelieveable tits, I'd call them the best boobies in Hollywood. That is the most significant statement on this board.
Childe Roland by BayouWilly	Jun 20th, 2006 07:57:46 PM
I'm buying you a beer, because I believe you're the first person to mention a post of mine. Congrats on the ego-boost, me. Uh-oh, one dude buying another dude a beer...moviemack will think I'm a gay! That's right... a gay!
"Let by Trazadone	Jun 21st, 2006 06:26:06 AM
I wish Harry would start every review with this line. Wedding planning? Too much information.
Look at Kevin. He by www.valiens.com	Jun 21st, 2006 08:51:23 AM
No shit, Harry. And he's been living on THAT borrowed time for about a decade now. Now that "Clerks II" is out of the way, let's see him challenge himself and NOT be like the rest of us. Make the fucking "Hunt For Red October" already! (Kidding. Make it better is what I meant.)
Admittedly, jayjew by BayouWilly	Jun 21st, 2006 03:03:13 PM
Not everything Smith does is gold. I find Dogma hard to watch, and after the first viewing of JSBSB, I will never watch it again... but in his defense, Clerks was awesome, the cartoon was awesome, and Seth MacFarlane does suck. After South Park, I can't even watch Family Guy without mentally counting up the "You think that's bad? What about the time (blank)" moments.
Oh PLEASE! by Fudgemonkey	Jun 21st, 2006 05:17:17 PM
It is common knowledge that the only reason all you angst-ridden, basement bound, troglodyte talkbackers keep on ranting against Kevin Smith is because in JASBSB he outed you all as whiny pussies who do nothing more than sit writing on sites like this while spraying your bellies with sticky white love-piss at you own jokes because you have nothing better to do with your lives.....like me. ps Dogma was the most intellegent religious commentary since the Life of Brian and is by far Smiths best work. Lick My Gospel!
Sobs by Weapon M	Jun 21st, 2006 08:19:54 PM
I think I need to call my mom and tell her I love her! ~wipes a tear from his eye~ Seriously, Kevin is funny. This movie should be funny. Me and some friends did a old black and white comedy movie, no we didnt we talked about it and then didnt do it..I'm a loser.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C uADFpwOYH4 by bipple	Jun 22nd, 2006 07:03:52 AM
time to piss off folks VIDEOCOLLAGESTYLE
For what it's worth ... by Itchy	Jun 22nd, 2006 09:00:14 PM
Kevin Smith sat in for an hour with Drew & Mike (the Detroit area local morning duo, who are great btw). He was freaking hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I've always been on the fence about Kevin Smith and his films, but his interview today guaranteed himself a couple ticket sales from me at least. Say what you want about the guy, but he's pretty up front and he loves what he's doing.
how long have you got Harry? by Darth Hogan	Jun 23rd, 2006 07:17:03 AM
why bother with this wedding Harry, that body you inhabit does not have long left in it, your heart must nearly be a breaking point trying to pump blood these days. I'd start figuring out the funeral details, you won't make the wedding.
guess its.. by TimMighty	Jun 27th, 2006 08:53:59 AM
..peanut butter jelly time !
Clerks 2 Sucked! by crushi26	Jul 5th, 2006 05:22:41 PM

Clerks 2 Sucked Bad by crushi26	Jul 5th, 2006 05:24:46 PM
Clerks 2 was the worst movie I've seen this summer. It wasn't funny. It wasn't written well. I don't think it was even written. It was shit. I loved KS's other movies. All of them. I've seen all his movies multiple times. This one sucked dick... Jay wasn't funny, the movie wasn't funny. It sucked. Don't believe the hype Harry is spewing because he's in the biz now. It sucked.
Funny as shit, what movie did you see crushi? by sternumman	Jul 5th, 2006 08:39:22 PM
Saw the movie 2 weeks ago and thought it was funny as shit, vulgur and dirty, suprised that smith wast required to make any cuts to keep an R rating. if you like dick and fart jokes and some ass to mouth this is the movie for you this summer
I was hoping that Smith would get back on track... by stonehenge	Jul 6th, 2006 03:01:27 PM
after all, besides the original Clerks and parts of Chasing Amy, maybe snippets of Dogma and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (which felt smug and self congratulatory to me) he hasn't really nailed the bullseye for quite some time.
Smith full of Smith. by cobb	Jul 18th, 2006 08:43:51 AM
I've been a big fan of Smiths films, and upon hearing rumors about there being a Clerks II in the making I couldn't help but getting excited about it. Now, I have not yet seen this film (seeing as it hasn't opened in the backwaters of northern Sweden yet - and seeing as I don't download movies off the internet) but somewhere between me hearing about Clerks II and there actually being a Clerks II in the theatres...something happened. What, you may ask. I'll tell you what, I found the double-disc "An evening with Kevin Smith" at my favourite dvdshop and I bought it and viewed it. That's what happened. Sure, Kevin was funny as hell most of the time, but there were instances of a different Kevin Smith. A smallminded, corporate-greedy bastard, who tormented people who hadn't paid to see his films (like if you've seen it at a press-release - Bark! Bark! Sick'im, Kevin! Sick balls!) and who would probably sell his own pubic hair on viewaskew if he thought anybody would buy it. Word to the wise, Mr.Smith, it's still shameless selfpromotion, even if you decide to flat out call it that. I doubt I'll enjoy Clerks II as much as I have enjoyed Smiths other films... And after seeing the real(?) Smith doing his schtick on-stage, trying to get more money out of the people who already gave him everything (his fans), I don't think I'll ever enjoy any of his other 5 films - at least not as much as I have done in the past.
Smith is... by Rock Harders	Jul 23rd, 2006 04:52:52 PM
The kinda filmmaker who can write snappy dialogue but doesn't know how to tell a story. Or at least it doesn't seem that important to him.
cobb = good call by DeathShrike	Jul 26th, 2006 10:04:20 AM
I've been waiting for someone to articulate my growing dislike of Kevin Smith, and cobb nailed it. It was really An Evening With Kevin Smith that I first noticed the descent into self-fellation. It's become nigh impossible to enjoy his films anymore, even the ones I absolutely adored. www.theatrox.com
WTF? Clerks2 made me cry like a bitch by Orionsangels	Jul 26th, 2006 01:59:02 PM
I didn't expect that. I so relate to this movie on every level. So yeah i liked it, but i didn't expect to get so emotional about it.
Pillow Pants by the_pissboy1	Jul 27th, 2006 03:00:06 AM
That's all that needs to be said about Clerks II. That bit was so much funnier than anything he's put in a movie...until Porch Monkey 4 Life showed up.
PUBLIC SERVICE NOTICE by Lord Kinbote	Jul 28th, 2006 07:15:54 PM
Clerks II has neither vampires NOR werewolves. Or does it? OR. DOES. IT?
Only you Harry. by purple-toupay	Aug 3rd, 2006 04:42:18 PM
Jesus, Harry. Only a complete poser fuckwit like you could screw up the line "your sad _devotion_ to that ancient religion". That's grounds for your long overdue dismissal from this dismal site.
first? by erichaislar	May 1st, 2007 02:32:40 PM
How is this talkback empty?

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