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Harry says THE FOG remake is excruciatingly awful!

That's a shame by rivercb	Oct 15th, 2005 12:43:49 PM
It has such good potential. This should give studios a clue before they rush to make the Halloween re-make
So... by dr_buggerlugs	Oct 15th, 2005 12:46:53 PM
...I guess you didn't like it then?
Unbelievable by Darth Pookie	Oct 15th, 2005 01:01:56 PM
Fantastic review Harry! Just one query: why on earth are none of us at all suprised at the way this piece of visual vomit turned out? Or more ppropriately, was "churned" out, lol. Ya' just gotta love that ol' assembly line crap factory known as "hollywood".
Wow.... by guerillatokyo	Oct 15th, 2005 01:03:47 PM
I had no interest in seeing this, but damn, I didn't think it'd turn out this rotten. Maybe this will convince some studio heads to scrap their planned remakes of classic 70s horror. Doubtful, but maybe....
All things being equal... by Film Whisperer	Oct 15th, 2005 01:04:23 PM
If Richard Kelly or Kerry Conrad had their names on this, Harry would be saying its the greatest horror movies of the year. Come on. YOu know what I'm talking about.
I'm not scared about 70s horror remakes toay.. by white owl	Oct 15th, 2005 01:07:57 PM
but 00s horror remakes 25 years from now. Imagine the sheer, well.. horror of it all. I won't watch this movie not now, not on dvd in 6 months, or on t.v. at 2 in the morning next year when I could be watching Springer!
5 times in a row? by THE WALLACE	Oct 15th, 2005 01:11:08 PM
See it's when you say shit like that I have to think you either exagerate like a 10 year old (When I was 12 I used to tell people I watched tim Burton's "Batman" 5 times a day) or you are just a sad man if you WOULD watch the Fog 5 times in a row... either way I can't read the rest of the review after that because you are obviously not of a stable mind. Though yes, I am sure it sucks.
Daaaaaaaamn, Disappointing. by Roguewriter	Oct 15th, 2005 01:16:56 PM
As cruddy as Carpenter's own stuff has gotten in the last decade or so, I sure wish someone had given him the bucks to update and punch up this one. THE FOG was always one of my favorites of his work, because it was so CLOSE to being great -- missing being the classic that was HALLOWEEN or ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK by only a hair... or a few hundred thousand dollars, more likely. Budget issues SUCK. But I'm sure Carpenter could have had some fun with revisiting Antonio Bay. A shame. Thanks for the wave-off, Harry.
Harry's classic form. by SalvatoreGravano	Oct 15th, 2005 01:22:54 PM
Harry in the full "Hated it" mode flies so much higher than Harry in the occasional defence-of-awful-films mode (Van Helsing...)
I think its spelled Xtreme Fog. by Flip63Hole	Oct 15th, 2005 01:23:23 PM

Great review by jollysleeve	Oct 15th, 2005 01:27:20 PM
One of Harry's better reviews. Probably will end up being more entertaining than the movie itself.
Does anyone really have an emotional attachment to the original by YackBacker	Oct 15th, 2005 01:27:38 PM
Aside from Harry watching the original 5 times in a row (could we at least have him admit the 3rd-5th time was really just the movie being replayed as background noise?). I don't think I could watch any film 5 times in a row that didn't star Asia Carrera.
The second piece of crap Uwe Boll directed. by DerLanghaarige	Oct 15th, 2005 01:28:26 PM
You mean "Amoklauf"? Never saw it.
Ouch by Monkey Chops	Oct 15th, 2005 01:40:48 PM
I'll be keeping my distance from this, then. Thanks for the heads-up.
You know you're all going to see it... by Phloton	Oct 15th, 2005 01:55:32 PM
...when Netflix has it. That way no one will actually see you pick it up at the rental store. Hell, I'll probably rent it when Netflix has it.
question: by mansep	Oct 15th, 2005 01:59:57 PM
despite it being the 2nd worse movie you've ever seen, do you think it will do well at the box-office? i ask cos sometimes the biggest piles of shit still ..somehow... manage to make shed loads of money. which is always a shame because it encourages producrs to think "don't worry about making a good film, it's a remake so we're bound to make money"
Re: The Validator - from Harry by HEADGEEK	Oct 15th, 2005 02:02:31 PM
Dude - know how stupid you sound? Here, let me clue you in. The company that made this film, it's called REVOLUTION. They're the company behind my project GHOST TOWN. And by the way - I didn't love PEARL HARBOR - I felt it needed at least 45 minutes of it removed.
Suprising, Harry. by WolfmanNards	Oct 15th, 2005 02:02:41 PM
You loved The Texas chainsaw Massacre and Amityville remakes, two movies which sucked to the highest degreee of sucktitude. I would have figured you'd like this shitty movie.
I wonder if... by NubtheSquirrel	Oct 15th, 2005 02:06:47 PM
Harry is slamming this movie because he didn't have a cameo in it like he did with that painfully bad Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake. Just kidding Harry. Still, it can't be any worse than Battlefield Earth which was a movie so bad I actually had to apologize to the people I had gone with to see that flaming turd.
Re: WolfmanNards - from Harry by HEADGEEK	Oct 15th, 2005 02:11:07 PM
Listen Dave, --- If you hated those remakes fine, good on you. But those were at the very least liked by a large amount of folks out there, besides me. I can not conceive of ANYONE ANYWHERE loving this rancid turd.
Thank you Harry!!! by Sinisterjim	Oct 15th, 2005 02:11:54 PM
Saw this as a second feature last nigt at midnight (the MUCH better Domino just before), I have to say, wasn't very excited going in, my freinds and I debated, and decided to go ahead...anything Horror, they want to see, no matter HOW bad early reviews are or how bad it looks, and they sometimes have the fucking gal to defend it, like Alone in the Dark...yeah, one of them actually TRIED to defend that abortion of cinema! Anyways, aside from the problems with certain audience members, this was a 'film' that absolutely sucked the soul from my body, that Carpenter was AT ALL envolved in this abomination is a cardinal-fucking sin!!! I bitch about the current trend of hip, PG13 films...this is the exclamation point to that ideaoligy, taken to the point of simply filming good looking, young, fresh faces, doing nothing, adding bland, 'scary' music, and releasing it under the pretense of being a scary movie!!! It's as though Abercrombie and Fitch were making movies now! Honestly, it really hurts to refer to this as a movie!
NubtheSquirrel - from Harry by HEADGEEK	Oct 15th, 2005 02:14:04 PM
BATTLEFIELD EARTH was awful, but it was actually so bad that it actually crossed over into self-parody and had classic bad movie lines and scenes that you can quote - and at least serves as a great source of embarrassment for Travolta, which in and of itself is rewarding at some level. This film doesn't have any of that.
Who Expected Otherwise? by filker-tom	Oct 15th, 2005 02:14:44 PM
Honestly, I have no idea why this is such a mystery. Does anybody have any idea why this was made? They had to have known they wouldn't even make back production costs, not even with DVD sales. No one clamored, no one cared, it wasn't all that great a film to begin with, and there was nothing from any of the minimal promotional material to indicate it would do anything besides bite. Along the same lines, I expect FUN WITH DICK AND JANE to be every bit as whimsical and enchanting, i.e., I'll save my money for Wallace & Gromit DVDs.
who liked Chainsaw and Amityville remakes? by Nate Champion	Oct 15th, 2005 02:16:24 PM
I wish more of Harry's reviews were like this... at least half of all the films made nowadays by major studios deserve this kind of hatred. (Hint other major film released this weekend hint)
Re: SinisterJim - From Harry by HEADGEEK	Oct 15th, 2005 02:16:46 PM
AMEN. I can see in your words the sad stare I see in my own eyes. We have seen THE FOG remake. We survived. I think.
WTF!?!? by Sinisterjim	Oct 15th, 2005 02:20:59 PM
Why do some of you always compare to other reviews, each film is it's own entity, deserving it's own review...The Fog (or, as I jokingly refer, The Smoke!) actually makes movies like the Amityville remake look fucking great...Amityville doesn't even aproach this turd in bad! I actually felt embarresed for the screenwriter with some of the dialog, gives me a lot of hope!
Everyone seems to be forgetting.... by Rein	Oct 15th, 2005 02:24:09 PM
that Carpenter was a producer on this remake. So if you wanna blame people, you've got to at least partially blame him.
It was made for the money. by Phloton	Oct 15th, 2005 02:25:43 PM
What other reason did you think there was? No matter how awful it might be, the producer knew they would make money on it no matter what. Why do you think jackasses like Boll or PWS Anderson are still allowed near cameras? They make absolute drek, but the price of their drek is below the returns they get in theaters and rentals. It's all about the Benjamins. So it's all profit to the production companies. Horror films are mainstream versions of porn. Doesn't matter how ugly the people are in porn, as long as it shows two people fucking, someone will buy it.
the audience rebelled by Jason Eisener	Oct 15th, 2005 02:52:10 PM
Last night i went to check out this film. Half an hour into the movie people started to get a little angry. Someone threw there can of coke at the screen, 2 guys infront of me started smoking a joint and screaming at the film. The audience was laughing at the film, not because it was funny but because it was stupid. This screening was in halifax nova scotia, (harry you were down here once for our atlantic film festival) people dont really react like this to films here. i cant say it was a waste of time though, i did enjoy watching the audiences reaction.
Harry's review is spot on. John Carpenter must be spinning by Swarmy	Oct 15th, 2005 02:52:40 PM
If he were dead anyways. Which he's not. But you get the idea.
CGI fog? by I Dunno	Oct 15th, 2005 02:54:09 PM
That's when you know CGI has gone too far, when they can't be bothered to get a fog machine.
Carpenter's THE FOG had a great opening scene and setup... by Batutta	Oct 15th, 2005 03:07:53 PM
...but somewhere towards the end of the 2nd ACT the movie becomes the worst thing a horror movie can be...silly.
I remember seeing the fog.... by emeraldboy	Oct 15th, 2005 03:20:31 PM
On Tv or vhs. That was a long time ago. I cant remember whether I enjoyed the Fog or Not. I remember the gloomy look of it. I loved the bit where the fog comes ashore and you see the dead sea mariners for the first time and one of them debowles one of the islanders with a hook. The reason this film was remade I suspect was that the filmmakers thought that audiences who see this time werent alive when the first film came out. It doesnt justify a shite movie. I loved in the first movie how there was an eerie calm and how carpenter built up the dark and brooding atmosphere throughout the. The fog today looks dated.
I thought Soldier was Harry's most hated movie of all-time. by Mahaloth	Oct 15th, 2005 03:21:36 PM
?
So Harry, what's the worst film you've ever seen so we c by dastickboy	Oct 15th, 2005 03:23:31 PM

Sorry, I should really read the full article by dastickboy	Oct 15th, 2005 03:24:33 PM
Mistakes were made.
i just found out who beat this bad boy at the box office.. by jig98	Oct 15th, 2005 03:47:32 PM
WALLACE AND GROMIT!!! that's right! for the second week in a row, the box office is "just crackers about cheese!" it's now made 35.0 at the b.o and beat the fog this weekend by 2 million!
I have a question. if I was looking to get a production deal wou by emeraldboy	Oct 15th, 2005 03:52:05 PM
Daddy Day Care( I would rather torture mayself than see that rubbish) Hellboy(which I enjoyed) 13 going on 30( by all accounts good because of Jennifer Garner) Triple xxx - the next level(garbage) Radio (sentimental drivel) The missing(Tommy Lee as an Indian, right.....) Mona Lis smile(Julia put me off seing this one) Anger Management(Great first half lousy film) The forgotten(the film that america quickly forget about) White Chicks (shite flick) Christmas with the Kranks( the movie that stank) Man of the houe and are we there yet tie for being two the wrost comedies made in the history of the Genre. The point I am making is the Revolution has made some of the worst films and have taken talented folk like Ackroyd and ruined their careers. So why have a production deal with them....
You want a modern ghost story that is truly scary... by workshed	Oct 15th, 2005 03:55:28 PM
...then try 'Dead Man's Shoes'. Supposed to be opening in the States pretty soon. Or you could just buy the DVD from the UK.
"...the film reeks of creeps..." by seppukudkurosawa	Oct 15th, 2005 04:03:30 PM
Harry, it's happened before, when you're dealing with a movie this dire you've got to make sure that you say nothing vaguely positive- I know this quote was about the original, but it was in a review of the Fog Remake... So, once again, the posters are going to have your seal of approval, "Harry Knowles of Aintitcool News (the big lovable Texan honky) says of the brilliantly scarifying NEW Fog: 'the film reeks of creeps'". Just kidding there, nice review Harry, but come on, I wasn't exactly planning on seeing a defecated version of the original anyway, even if they bought the rights to my favourite songs for Selma to spin at the lighthouse/radio station, and even if Ms. Blair djs naked (why not, nobody's watching?), I'd still run a wide berth around this flick.
Boy... by tiredpm	Oct 15th, 2005 04:49:52 PM
When Uwe Boll movies are getting praise in a review by way of comparison, you know there's a problem. Next thing you know, Harry's going to call Paul WS Anderson and apologize for being so hard on him in the past... :-)
Selma Blair is completely flat in this movie? by damorend	Oct 15th, 2005 04:59:28 PM

But he liked Domino? by Doom II	Oct 15th, 2005 04:59:57 PM
I just saw it and as a HUGE fan of the original, I was happy that it was ok. They didn't "rape" the 1980 Fog and some of the f/x were pretty wicked. I am sure the movie will be ragged on, but it was decent. The pirates were well done (and not shown in full view until the very end). The actors did the job and a few scenes were actually shot for shot from the original movie. Also, several lines of dialogue were STRAIGHT from Carpenter's original screenplay. Had they thrown in some graphic violence and gone for a hard R, I would have called this a triumph (ala the Dawn Of The Dead remake). The ghost pirates look great in silouette like the original (no glowing red eyes on Blake though) and the fog f/x are really good. The cast is mostly young and hot, but that's what sells tickets these days. The original Fog cast was all classy theater trained 60's and 70's actors but they were not so good looking. The new cast is great looking tv trained disposable actors from the 90's and 2000's. To each his own. One thing that wasn't so great is that they SHOW us what happened to Blake and his leper colony in flashbacks which is good for the mainstream moviegoer, but I prefer to just hear about it and move on (like the original). Nice cinematography and some great locations gave it a very open feeling. The editing was a slower pace with no choppy cuts or Mtv style bullshit going on. So take it from someone who was OBSESSED with John Carpenter for about 10 years, the new Fog is worth a look, regardless of how much bashing it receives on this site. It's no Ring 2 or Cabin Fever, and that's a good thing!
Beautifully shot, no quick cuts and some nice atmosphere....That by Doom II	Oct 15th, 2005 05:12:24 PM
This review seriuosly BAFFLES MY FUCKING MIND! I saw a different movie. Period. Harry is a sell out that is pissed off at this film for some reason I do not know! Completely bullshit review, I'm sorry. In 5 years of visiting this site, this is the most CONFUSING thing I've ever read! WTF? This site is all about money and payoffs. Got to be. To say the Fog is the second worst movie he's ever seen is absurd! Go watch Drop Dead Fred or any of Robert Rodriguez's movies (except Sin City) or a Michael Bay film. Those are cinematic abortions! I may never come back here as this is absurd!
Hey now by BillEmic	Oct 15th, 2005 05:18:25 PM
Drop Dead Fred kicks ass. Crucial film of my childhood. Don't hate on Phoebe Cates.
Remakes and super heroes explained. by Brit Pop	Oct 15th, 2005 05:18:25 PM
Why oh why oh why? Fog didnt need to be remade, neither did War Of The Worlds, Get Carter, Wicker Man to name but a few from a very long and undistinguished list. My explanation for all this is that because we live in uncertain times where everythings going to hell in a handbasket, films are trying to go back in time to a safer, more stable era. And there are so many super hero movies because... there are no more heroes - obviously!! Just another film genre that echoes the time it lives in! Lets just forget all the 'wait a few decades before a remake' and get to remaking Sith - actually, thats a bloody good idea!!!
Um... by InZodWeTrust	Oct 15th, 2005 05:19:47 PM
Cannot be as bad as Catwoman. Fact.
Plants invade talkbacks and take names of sequels to old games! by SalvatoreGravano	Oct 15th, 2005 05:30:48 PM
Heh, heh.
I like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre remake by iamnicksaicnsn	Oct 15th, 2005 05:43:59 PM
The aura the film has is second to none. There are so few films that have that kind of creepiness. And Catwoman was pretty awful. I'd have to say that Inspector Gadget was probably the worst movie of all time though, such potential, such wasted potential...
I knew it... by DocPazuzu	Oct 15th, 2005 05:53:42 PM
...ever since that hack director in an interview on CHUD (I think) called the original "half a movie" and that his version would have a "hip young cast" I knew that The Fog would suck as majestically as all these other nu-horror Hollywood assjammers. What sealed the deal was that John "Soul-Sold" Carpenter sat in on that interview and readily bent over for the guy and their diabolical joint project. The only thing I hate more than these talentless, crass, unimaginative, spirit-crushing, money-sucking asscocks are the vacuuous, fruitfly-brained, slackjawed, cellphoning, teenage pot feebs who keep paying to see these soulless shitfests.
What REALLY sucks is... by fanboy71	Oct 15th, 2005 05:58:02 PM
That even with the horrible reviews, this turd will probably STILL make more money than Serenity. Get off you r butts and go see Serenity instead of this piece of shit.
SO ITS THAT GOOD? by Orionsangels	Oct 15th, 2005 06:02:18 PM

Seems Harry Hated THE FOG About As Much As I Hated DOMINO by ZombieSolutions	Oct 15th, 2005 06:18:28 PM
(btw, great review Harry. that's the kinda stuff we need to hear! If only I had taken Moriarity's words to heart in re: DOMIBLOW... i coulda saved $7 and those precious 2 hours...)
the only redeeming factor in seeing this film by howudoinchewbaca	Oct 15th, 2005 06:40:54 PM

the only redeeming factor in seeing this film by howudoinchewbaca	Oct 15th, 2005 06:42:02 PM
was laughing along with eveyone else in the theatre. Never have I felt so robbed of life. There was one girl that kept screaming...apparently she had never seen a movie before in her life.
Back to form by Koola_Norway	Oct 15th, 2005 07:21:48 PM
Harry; you are a great great writer when you write about a subject you despise.. (though an even better one when you write about something you love.) Keep it all coming! I'll never see this movie (but I knew it without your review..)
WHAT is the thing that people have for the original "The Fog"?! by Thirteen 13	Oct 15th, 2005 07:38:30 PM
Harry says he watched it 5 times in a row?!?!?!? ( Well wait, thats actually not all that surprising) Sure the original was ok. It was really nothing groundbreaking. In some spots it was plain boring. Other spots it was mildy scary for like 2 seconds, if that. It was by no means a CLASSIC and nowhere near one of John Carpenter's best work. Now I can understand people going apeshit and having an obsession with say "Escape from New York" or "Big Trouble in Little China".....but "The Fog" !?!?!........yeah it was sort of ok.
And I think its safe to say that this movie probably is bad, jus by Thirteen 13	Oct 15th, 2005 07:43:44 PM
Afterall, Harry LOVED Domino, Land of the Dead, and Alexander.And for some strange reason he actually saw and reviewed that animated horse movie "Spirit" whose target audience was for 9 year old girls. So consider the source.
by chhun23	Oct 15th, 2005 07:43:54 PM
fog off
Who the hell decided Maggie Grace was good looking? by all	Oct 15th, 2005 07:46:26 PM
Unless you like a cross-eyed anorexic... to each their own.
I'm not making excuses for the writer but you have to be awa by Bargin Hunter in 3D	Oct 15th, 2005 07:50:02 PM
The easy way to slam any film that sucks is: a) Blaim the director b) Blaim the writer c) Most people don't even get to choice C. Remember that film making is "collaborative process", please believe me when I tell you how a script that is "solid" and "tight" (plot-wise that is) can be butchered beyound friggin' recognition by the producers or the money men funding the film, not to mention distubutors. If any of these parties at any point wants to "tone down" "dumb-down" or put add a few scenes for a member of their entourage, most bottom tier writers or directors HAVE TO CAPITULATE. If not then you run the risk of getting a reputation of being difficult to work with, or worse. So what is a writer/dirctor supposed to do? Stand by a script/movie that it sub-standard and make connections that will lead to another gig ,which these people HAVE to do to make a career of it. Or, they can stand up to "the man" and fight, kick, screem for quality on the screen. Sure it's easy to say they should take the "high road", but folks we are talking about HOLLYWOODLAND here. Until you get to the point where you CAN call your own shots its a world of comprismise and caputulation to those who are your "betters" God I wish it wasn't the case but that is the BUSINESS OF THE MOVIE INDUSTRY. You go to parties not to drink and have fun, you go to make contacts for your next gig and the one after that, sacrifice today's child for tomarrow's children. Remember most horror films are low investment, high rewards, because the execs KNOW that every year there is a new batch of 18 year olds who are going to drop $10.00 a pop to finally get their chance at seeing a "R-rated" horror film with a parent or gardian in tow. My advise to those who live to go see these films is to never have high expectations for them because 95% of the time they are crap. Thanks for reading my ramblings.
Bargin Hunter by conniebrean	Oct 15th, 2005 07:58:39 PM
And spelling "blame" correctly. That's always a plus.
Sorry about the spelling, my sloppiness, my bad by Bargin Hunter in 3D	Oct 15th, 2005 08:04:40 PM
I'm just pleased that I spelled the word "THEIR" correctly, that "I before E" rule always scews me up...I hate English, and it shows.
Selma Blair sucks Monkey Balls. by RedFive	Oct 15th, 2005 08:28:50 PM
She was the reason Hellboy wasnt a better film,her annoying acting is like your little annoying sister who does stupid shit to impress your friends.But what she does is fucken retarted.Thats her acting in every film,even storytelling,which is her best role (and that film has major problems).So why is it such a shock that all these Horror remakes suck.Its like Bush not giving a shit about New Orleans.
Remakes Blow... by RedFive	Oct 15th, 2005 08:32:54 PM
The only 2 good remakes are The Thing and The Fly.Reriod.
Don't shilly-shally Harry, tell us what you thought of the f by Fitzcarraldo2	Oct 15th, 2005 09:19:22 PM
Entertaining review.
Harry, I thought you hated BELOVED and I DREAMED OF AFRICA more by Lenny Nero	Oct 15th, 2005 09:23:50 PM

I calmed down and thought about it... by Doom II	Oct 15th, 2005 09:31:05 PM
This review still makes no sense, but I decided to provide a list of movies that HARRY likes more than the new Fog (after all, he said it's the second worst film ever, so these gems are all above the new Fog for Harry): Catwoman, Blood Beach, Megaforce, Striptease, Batman & Robin, Rollerball (remake),Cop And 1/2, Showgirls,Delta Force 1-3,Missing In Action 2,Planet Of The Apes (remake),The Women In Red,Desperado,Free Willy 2,Heartbeeps,Halloween 5,The Brown Bunny,Ski School and _______ you fill in the rest.
Doom II... you had to calm down? by embrypotzebra721	Oct 15th, 2005 09:47:31 PM
Something from a movie OPINION website made you need to go calm down? what happens when the power company shuts your lights off for not paying the, or when someone in your family gets in a car accident... or if you were to ever lose your virginity? does your head just explode, splattering blood onto whoever's nearby? to reiterate... A MOVIE SITE MADE YOU NEED TO CALM DOWN??? what are you, retarded?
ummm since when is desperado a crappy movie? by ALUCINOR11	Oct 15th, 2005 09:55:16 PM
If you guys hated the opinions of Harry and everyone else then why would you come to this site? The goal is to find some movie reviewers that you trust and sometimes it just boils down to personal tastes and experiences as to why a movie is bad or good to you. I may not always agree with certain reviews but dammit, these people run a site that all of us go to daily for free so in the immortal words of Arnold "STOP WHINING!"
"Plus it's PG-13!!!!!!!" by Osmosis Jones	Oct 15th, 2005 09:59:36 PM
The original Fog was NOT THAT VIOLENT. Seriously, there's virtually no blood (all those gougings and hookings, and yet no gore), no nudity, and not even much noticable profanity (certainly no F-words), so if it were released today, it'd almost certainly be rated PG-13. I can understand if, say, the DOTD remake were rated PG-13, but The Fog was actually rather tame in the gore department. It's a cool, creepy little movie (although anyone who could watch it five times in a row has something wrong with them), but it's not a bloodbath by any stretch of the imagination.
I remember Harry saying he watched North by Northwest three time by seppukudkurosawa	Oct 15th, 2005 10:19:19 PM
and that seemed a little out there. Even if you think Cary Grant's got a sexier voice than Smokey Robinson, and the only thing second to Tony Curtis' Archibald Leach impression in Some Like it Hot is the real thing- three times in a row's quite insane. But North by Northwest is one of my favourite films, the original Fog isn't even one of my favourite Carpenter films...five times? Did you watch it five times in the respect that the disc was spinning in your DVD player but you were out reading books, bathing, playing a couple rounds of tennis, climbing trees, making love to your kitten in the back of your beat-up Lada, while the film plays on repeat? Fuck it, you can do what you like with your own downtime I guess.
I Watched Aliens 8 Times In One Day... by embrypotzebra721	Oct 15th, 2005 10:23:51 PM
I did.
Hey Harry, tell us what you really think! by Babba-Booey	Oct 15th, 2005 10:29:57 PM

Doom II don't knock Showgirls... by Roger Thornhill	Oct 15th, 2005 10:39:39 PM
It's one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. It's the horny mentally retarded brother of All About Eve.
Which makes Saved by the Bell the funniest program you've ev by seppukudkurosawa	Oct 15th, 2005 10:42:43 PM
it's the randy mentally mongoloid sister of I Love Luci.
Harry's a plant! by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 15th, 2005 11:05:24 PM
I just got home form seeing this. He's being kind to the movie. This movie is bad in that special, senses deadening way that one usually associates with TV movies made in the 80s starring Cheryl Ladd or Jane Seymour. Tom Welling turns in such a non-performance that you almost forget he's in the movie, and Maggie Grace stares silently at nothing, her face in such perfect, tragic repose, for so much of this movie that you want to take her off life support to release her from her vegetative state. This isn't bad the way House of the Dead was, where you at least got to laugh at how bad it was. This was bad like an after school special, where you just slowly begin to think about other things. Not only that, but it offers almost nothing new, because although a few things here and there are sort of arbitrarily changed, I guess to prove it was reimagined, most of the main scare sequences are pretty close to the original, if the original had been directed by a guy whose biggest claim to fame was directing MC Hammer product. By the way, it makes it MORE, not LESS pitiful if you can't come close to matching what wasn't Carpenter's best film in the first place. I wonder how bad the remake of Ghosts of Mars will be?
The Amityville remake and some thoughts for Harry by Neosamurai85	Oct 15th, 2005 11:24:09 PM
You will always be able to fill seats with Amityville. Not sequels mind you... Amityville. It's just one of those things. Part of it is the BASED ON A TRUE STORY shit. With the book... People will go to it ok. Christ my mother even wanted to go see it with me. It has a developed genoration it can fall back on. That is why it did good. That is why all these remakes are being made. You may have been pissed off to high hell about Dawn of the Dead And TCM being remade... but it didn't stop you from seeing them did it? So I really don't want to here about how it must have been liked because of it's box office. If people who don't go to horror movies (like my mom) were going along with those that do. Than you really don't have to count that many people seeing it twice that normally factor into a good film's box office. The remake was shit in a steamer. Fearing the cries that it would be a Shinning rip-off, they took the excellent climax of the original and threw it out the window for something truly anti-climatic. They took the perhaps hammy decent of the husband in the original, which despite it
P G - 1 3 ? by L.H.Puttgrass	Oct 15th, 2005 11:27:42 PM
Do I have to say anymore? The original movie, the source of the remake, was an R. Too many movies that should be rated R try to get more ticket sales by taking out just enough of the R stuff to get the PG-13 rating. They water the movie down thinking they'll be bathing in money by letting more kids in. Instead, they just take a bath. Can you make a scary movie without an R rating? Sure you can!! Jaws was scary. The Haunting (The original one.) was scary. I'm talking about the kind of horror movie where various people meet their end in a variety of creative and graphic ways. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, A Nightmare on Elm St., Halloween, The Thing, hell, even the remake of The Blob (I know, I know, but the scene where that guy gets pulled down the drain just made the movie for me. Fun shit.). These kinds of movies are rarely made anymore. And when they are? Crap!! House of Wax (Got stuck in New Orleans for awhile, had to kill some time. The good stuff had already started.)? Crap! Saw? Nice try, but still, also crap! And the others that I have seen, I caught on DVD. Why? Because the damn movies were gone before I could see them! Horror movies just don't seem to last more than a week or two in my neck of the woods. I'd have to journey to New Orleans where they're usually still playing. I won't be doing that for a while. If it weren't for DVDs I'd miss a lot of them. Come to think of it, has Devil's Rejects come out on DVD? Is it any good? All I know is it had alot of hubbub before it came out and then it came out and was gone. Same weekend I think. Off the top of my head the only horror movie that satisfied me this year would have to be Land of the Dead. I liked it, but I wish it were longer. George just doesn't get behind the camera enough. And when he does? 1 hour 33 minutes. Damn, that's enough ranting from me. Later.
Hmmm... by Neosamurai85	Oct 15th, 2005 11:34:23 PM
Some of my rage towards Amityville remake spilled into the rest of that post I think. The Fog really could suck this much, but I whish he'd break it down more than just this sucked and that sucked. How much has the story changed? What alternitives were offered and why did they suck? That's what I want to know. Either way, not buying that it's the second worst... I've seen some pretty shitty movies. Still I wasn't going to see it on the big screen anyway, so I'll find out come rental. Peace.
"They took the perhaps hammy decent of the husband in the origin by Neosamurai85	Oct 15th, 2005 11:36:45 PM
poor wording on my part. Instead they made the character into a complete shit that you actually wished would die. It's supposed to be talking about the remake at that point. Sorry about that. Peace.
Neo- as far as Harry, Mori and Quint interacting with the SHVINE by seppukudkurosawa	Oct 15th, 2005 11:38:28 PM
Moriarty said this on his blog: "We've recently set up a forum for the site to try and create a different way of interacting with the readership, and we've been beta-testing it for a little while. It's going well so far." So I guess they've just changed their policy a bit. Maybe the hits are going down now that Harry's Raison D'
L.H.Puttgrass by Neosamurai85	Oct 15th, 2005 11:45:12 PM
PG rating of Jaws really dosn't count. That was a different era with a different system. Granted in this era it probably would be PG-13, what with Lost World biting people in half and stuff. I still think Jaws is a light R. Anyway, agree you can make a PG-13 movie scary. However, if Fog is the shit they say it is, I don't think it was because of the rating. The original would be about a PG-13 (almost just a PG) by todays standards and I think that's all you'd need. The Fog was never about gore galore and I'd hate to see it become that. Point of fact, the gore was largly added to the original to fill seats. The Fog is a good old creepy ghost story. It should be something that you could bring you kids to. It should scare the everloving shit out of them, and you should catch hell for doing it, but you should be able to. We've lost touch with that kind of imagenation horror. That stuff that wasn't weak it just made being a kid fun. I'm not talk about The Fog for kids! I'm really not doing a good job describing this at all because I've got to go tend some things. Hopefully you know what I mean. Maybe I'll get back to this tomorrow sometime. Anyway... Peace.
NeoSam... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 15th, 2005 11:49:44 PM
Of course it's not the second worst movie ever made. By the time you get to that level of bad you're way back into good. The Fog remake is bad in a way that leaves you say...wondering what was on the writer's mind when he replaced the piece of driftwood prop from the original with a mirror, or why they felt they needed to change other more or less random things along the way, not in some thematic shift or an attempt to get some scares by changing up the action, but just in sort of the way an ant would follow a pheromone trail back to the anthill after a light rain. The ant's still going to the same place, it just meanders around a bit on the way. Some differences? Well, a love triangle between Blair, Welling and Grace is sort of waved weakly at the camera, but it never develops in any way or plays into the story. I guess it takes a couple minutes of screen time, all told, and spared somebody from thinking of something else to help fill out the movie to feature length. Oh, the old lady watching Selma Blair's son dies differently, and in perhaps the silm's best single scene. And the end is changed a bit, but not in a way that will make you happy, and certainly not in a way that improves on the original. There's none of what WAS cool in the original, the Adrienne Barbeau character calling the location of the fog while Jamie Lee and Tom tried to avoid its path. And the end narration they give Selma just blows compared with Adrienne's in the original. But what kind of changes and what they valued from the original can be summed up by this: They made Selma Blair wear rubber breast enhancers because she was playing the Barbeau part, but they dropped stuff like the old sailor narration and the weird stuff happening in the town the night before the fog arrived (my favorite part of the movie except for Adrienne on the roof of the lighthouse at the end) and replaced it with pretty much nothing.
seppukudkurosawa by Neosamurai85	Oct 15th, 2005 11:51:05 PM
Huh... I was wondering about the increase in interaction. Seems like a good idea. Will be intersting to see how it goes. Peace.
Thanks Red Ned Lynch by Neosamurai85	Oct 15th, 2005 11:55:27 PM
Times like these I wish I still had HBO so that I didn't even have to pay to see crap like this. Becuase I know I will see it... sooner or later. Peace.
HeadGeek by NubtheSquirrel	Oct 15th, 2005 11:57:16 PM
Harry, I respect the opinions of the writers of this site more than any of the other critics out there. Thank you for your response. I don't think I'll be watching The Fog until it becomes available for my Blockbuster queue and even then I might just wait for my free rental. BTW did John Carpenter even give his blessing for this rancid turd?
You and me both. by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 15th, 2005 11:57:43 PM
Sigh...suckers.
On the bright side, I saw The Fog at the drive-in... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:15:53 AM
...and one of the other screens had a double feature of Wallace and Grommit and Flightplan. Got a laugh out of that.
Steering people away from terrible movies is a noble thing and a by 007-11	Oct 16th, 2005 01:06:15 AM
Fantastic movie in every respect. Well shot, great performances, perfect running time, and isn't heavy-handed. George Clooney wins my heart again.
Wow, harry must have hated this movie. He didn't make any su by anchorite	Oct 16th, 2005 02:06:21 AM

Harry your Ghost Town will be just as awful you know it I know by Bari Umenema	Oct 16th, 2005 02:06:35 AM
Revolution makes shitty movies. Todd Garner thought you were such a cool film geek so he offered you a producing deal. Good for you Harold. But Todd is no longer an executive there he's now a producer because he made some stinkers. And all the other executives at Revolution have the same shitty taste in movies. Of course I'll be happy to take their money same as you are Harry. There's no shortage of hypocrisy in Hollywood. The Fog is a movie for teenage girls and boys who love Tom Welling because he's very good in Smallville which truly is a wonderfully inventive and entertaining TV show. Good luck with Ghost Town, I hear they want Rupert Wainwright to direct it. But only after Cooper Layne does a fast polish on the script. You'll have to take your name off the movie before it's released Harry. As a first time producer you're just along for the ride. With Derek in the driver's seat you have nothing to worry about. You're sure to have a film to be proud of just like The Fog.
Harry's Taste by jedimast3r	Oct 16th, 2005 02:19:16 AM
The only thing I don't like about this site is Harry's taste. Sure, anyone who has half a brain would never go to a fog remake starring some two-bit TV actors ("Shannon" is arguably the worst character on LOST and Boone should have outlived her; Welling will always, always be the Clark that shouldn't have been). What I hate to hear over and over and OVER again is Harry's Imperialistic "I liked it first, I watched the sub-pop culture shit that the shit was based on, I knew who wrote it and directed the other not-so-good shit that you should have seen but didn't but the fact that you didn't makes my opinion of this new shit better than you-I- love-Japanimation" bullshit. I honestly come to this site for the likes of Herc and Moriarty who have far more open and less programmed minds. If Harry isn't the discoverer or the first to touch something, then the review always lacks the luster or fairness that it should receive. Yes, The Fog probably is a donkey-punch in the face, but endlessly wasting your breath about it doesn't validate coolness or raise the bar for eliteism. If only more breath was wasted on great projects like Serenity, Harry'd be moving in the right direction.
Not ONE memorable line, Harry? by Perturbo	Oct 16th, 2005 03:43:24 AM
I went to see it tonight. I wanted to see a horror movie. I like Selma Blair. I said to myself, how bad can it be? I always forget how bad they can be. But I did take away one memorable line. Okay, it's only memorable as an example of how stupid well-paid Hollywood screenwriters can be. And yes, okay, it isn't really a full line
You guys are spending WAY TOO MUCH time debating this movie... by Darth Bono Jr.	Oct 16th, 2005 03:44:35 AM
Really.
What's with the love for Selma Blair? by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 04:03:47 AM
She's cute and all, but I've yet to see her actually act in any movie she's in. Thoroughly anemic performances every time.
Thanks, Harry for showing the original some love! by deadguy76	Oct 16th, 2005 05:17:07 AM
Finally people are starting to get it: Remakes suck! there's no point making us watch a movie we've already paid to see. Especially when it's been done halfway decent the first time. Any other fans of The Thing?
WAY TO GO HARRY! Your not lost to us after all! by alucardvsdracula	Oct 16th, 2005 05:21:25 AM
Great negative review, full of spleen and bile, and there was me thinking you'd lost it for a while. Now get back to reviewing MORE movies in this honest fashion and not simply sucking on them like the other Hollywood chimps.
ghost town, the one movie no one hears anything about... by Windowlicker74	Oct 16th, 2005 06:46:32 AM
not on imdb, not even on this site. i guess it s stuck in development hell for a couple of more years, and then it s straight to video.
Well, duuuuuuuh! The original sucked shit too! by Uncle Stan	Oct 16th, 2005 07:26:00 AM

WHY? by bighank	Oct 16th, 2005 07:36:15 AM
WHy?
WHY part 2 by bighank	Oct 16th, 2005 07:46:49 AM
Why would you finance a remake of a film that was mediocre to begin with? The original FOG was alright, but not a horror classic by any stretch of the imagination. I know that Sci-Fi is doing a remake of THE THING. I know they are gonna fuck that up. Harry was right though. As an African American, I really take offense to the way black characters are portrayed in horror films. It's obvious that a white person wrote the lines; probably from watching MTV JAMS or some shit and the characters are relegated to throwbacks of the black characters in The Bellamy Brothers or 40's comdey flick: Bucking their eyes while staring off into the dark going "who dat?!!....who der?!!" Just to set the record straight fo you all, black folks wouldnt fuck around if that was a real situation. We are not the go in the basement to investigate shit type of people. There is no way we would have been on a fucking boat in a thick fog in an all-white town. You see what happened the last time we got tricked onto getting on a boat. And we will leave your dumb white asses to get eatin', mangled, raped or killed by the monster if your not runnin' fast enough. We have survived slavery, oppression, the 60's and HOMEBOYS IN OUTER SPACE...there is NO FUCKING WAY we would be fodder for a ghost, ghoul or monster of any kind. I am writing a horror film with a predominantly ethnic cast. Oh...the white guy gets killed first..LOL
Harry - Thanks for sitting through this.... by RobinP	Oct 16th, 2005 08:11:34 AM
...so I don't have to.
Mediocre Youth Shall Be The Death of Entertainment by Piltdown Joey	Oct 16th, 2005 08:42:06 AM
No surprise, Harry. Once again, it seems that casting and writing for the teen hip-hop loving demographic has ruined a property. Welling?? Maggie Grace?? Mark my words, we will be repeating these lines when SUPERMAN RETURNS comes out. Routh?? Bosworth?? C'mon, please. Where's the gravitas. Where's the repect for the property? Warner had the Supes/Lois combo right under their noses in JAG, but alas, no. Let's cast it for the teens! They'll bring in more money. Gee, I wonder why movie revenues are down.
GOOD JOB HARRY by El Borak	Oct 16th, 2005 09:19:55 AM
i'm not the biggest fan of the original, but good god! what a remake like this does is defame a good film. 10 years from now if you mention "the fog" most snot-nosed punks will be like, "it was awesome" or "it sucked", not knowing there was an original and the piece of shit they saw was a remake. sad...
No, 10 years from now if you mention "the fog",,, by seppukudkurosawa	Oct 16th, 2005 09:23:59 AM
they'll be like, "Huh? The fog...oh you mean Clerks 2: Hits From The Boooong right? Yeah that rocked!". Not even an elephant has a good enough memory to remember something as forgettably cr
point taken by El Borak	Oct 16th, 2005 09:27:25 AM

I wasn't going to see it before I read this review... I won& by YackBacker	Oct 16th, 2005 09:32:19 AM
Curious how everyone is congratulating Harry on telling us this movie sucked. Haven't we all sat through a crappy movie? I congratulate ALL OF YOU! Actually, I'll congratulate Harry if he didn't have to pay for his screening. Nothing better than seeing a piece of crap movie for free. Long ago, I saw "Airheads" at a critics screening. It was terrible, but Owen Glieberman was there and he agreed with me! No, we didn't talk. I'm just guessing he gave it a C- too. Heh, I got nothin'...
"Selma Blair is just completely flat" by oisin5199	Oct 16th, 2005 09:33:06 AM
Sure she is, when you compare her to Adrienne Barboobs...I mean Barbeau. Sorry, couldn't resist. fantasized about her a bit as a kid in the 70s. Now she's not just a MILF but probably a GILF. Bring back Carnivale!
Hell I watched GLITTER 9 times in a row in a XTC DAZE... by MentallyMariah	Oct 16th, 2005 09:45:28 AM
Then I woke up and realized that It was all a FOGGY dream... The original Fog made me fall asleep...It wasn't all that great, but ya know, I see every horror movie that comes out, well except for Bones, I skipped that one, Is this worst then Bones? VENOM? or how about CRY WOLF? seriously kids the scariest movie to come out in years was GLITTER...nothing says HORROR like Mariah Carey trying to act while looking like a chimpmunk on Xanax, but I must say there is a classic scene in Glitter where the video director looks at Mariah Carey's character Billie and says "We ask ourselves, is she black? Is she white? We don't care. She's exotic. I want to see more of her breasts!" Now I would like to see a remake of Glitter in ten years...bring it on!
Thornhill -- SHOWGIRLS by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 10:02:02 AM
i just wanted to cast my ballot with you that SHOWGIRLS really is one of the most hilarious movies ever made. it's so transcendently awful that it becomes brilliant. best worst movie ever.
"Why would you finance a remake of a film that was mediocre to b by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 10:29:44 AM
It might have something to do with the fact that you could IMPROVE upon it. What I want to know is why people remake movies that were perfect to begin with. Peace.
I don't doubt Harry, but the real news here by Daddylonghead	Oct 16th, 2005 11:03:39 AM
is how cool it is to see MentallyMariah back on the TBs!
The Trashy Psychedelic Disco-Coke Film Festival -- SHOWGIRLS, GL by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 11:14:57 AM
any other wonderful trash films we could include?
"Hey, hey baby, baby break down/ button up baby you come undone/ by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 11:22:10 AM
The mental and retinal trauma that was Glitter had finally faded from my consciousness and been extracted from my subconscious where it had been pulling quite a few nasty strings. Now the evil has been released like popped stitches. It will take me months of intense opossum therapy to exorcise these oh so un-sweet, sweet fantasies. Gah! The thought just passed through my mind... where is Mariah now? For she is out there... somewhere... and the thought does indeed bring a terror to my limbs. Peace.
Well... with purely Trashy Psychedelic by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 11:31:22 AM
(Never seen Can't Stop the Music so no opinion) You could ditch the shitters Glitter and Showgirls (well... maybe leave Showgirls as the modern sleeze of the mix) and kick it proper old school with Village of the Giants. A John Waters film seems almost too obvious a choice. Actually I had a few others but I'm running a blank. Village of the Giants has derailed my brain into more of a 60's Dragnet/Dungeon of Harrow wavelength. Peace.
Not even half as bad as Harry says.. by jojo-pimp	Oct 16th, 2005 11:33:20 AM
This movie really was not that bad at all. Not as good as the original, but still provided scares, some good tension, and some good special effects. The original was ten times better, dont get me wrong....but this one is still worth a few bucks at the theatre, or renting. Better directed that most horror movies that have come out lately.
Zombie... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 11:39:36 AM
Verhoeven is the greatest director of our generation. Water Sports Anderson has devoted his life to trying to reach the gothic level of florid, overblown incompetence Verhoeven has given us in movies like Showgirls and Starship Troopers. Showgirls is by far his awful film masterpiece but my favorite single moment comes from Troopers. Denise Richards and the pilot hunk are alone on the BRIDGE of A WARSHIP, drinking coffee and having a romantic moment when pilot hunk notices Denise has changed the course he has plotted. Forget for a moment that pilot hunk says to Denise that "You think you can lick my navs". What I love is he then punches a button on a computer and the screen displays the message "Course Optimal". So did pilot stud stop working on the course he plotted when the computer told him "Course All Right"? Course shitty? For that matter if the computer can tell you when the course is optimal why isn't the computer plotting your course? Man I love Verhoeven. And when Michael Pare...oops, I mean Caper Van Dien and Richards meet, after the city where they were born and raised was incinerated along with almost everyone they know, Casper says..."Well, we're alive...gotta' be happy about that." What a genius. I have hopes for Uwe Boll. Dungeon Siege, where we have Ray Liotta, Burt Reynolds and Matthew Lillard all thrown back into a middle age themed three hour nightmare, may well move Uwe from the front ranks of surreally bad directors working now into the range of all-time greats. I'm still holding out hope he can get Joe Pesci to join the cast.
Other good remakes... by jojo-pimp	Oct 16th, 2005 11:39:46 AM
Some of you are sooo quick to shit on remakes, just because you grew up loving the original. Trust me, there are plenty of remakes that suck, or remakes where even though they are pretty decent, the original is still better in my opinion. The new Texas Chainsaw was pretty damn good....not as grungey and nasty as the original, but still a very worth remake. The new Amityville was pretty damn good too...Ryan Reynolds was ten times better than James Brolin. Dawn of the Dead...pretty damn good movie....not as good as the original, but a very good tribute and reimagining. I dunno.....i do agree i dont want to see every movie i love remade and then suck....but sometimes, it IS nice to see something you loved as a child brought back in a modern way. The Fog was decent....not as bad as harry makes it sound, and i trust me, i love John Carpenter movies more than anything, and while this one wasnt as good as the original, it was still pretty good, and i do firmly believe that the new Assault on Precinct 13 was pretty bad ass!
Look for the Fog by Jack Burton	Oct 16th, 2005 11:43:02 AM
The news that the Fog remake is crap is not at all surprising. the original is one of my favorite horror movies. Yeah it has problems but the movie has momentum and real scares. This just looked like crap from the beginning. As soon as I saw it was PG 13 I knew it was going to meet expectations.
RE: Jack Burton by jojo-pimp	Oct 16th, 2005 11:45:48 AM
Seriously, it really wasnt that bad....and even though it was PG-13.....was the original really that gory or bloody? They didnt have a PG-13 rating back then...cause trust me, by today's standards, the 1980 version would definately be PG-13
Red Ned Lynch by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 11:48:20 AM
Not to ignite another off-topic Starship Troopers flame war in a TalkBack, but I must say that it seems you've completely missed the point of that film.
Did someone either heavily edit or ghostwrite this review for Ha by FluffyUnbound	Oct 16th, 2005 11:51:06 AM
I don't know, it has some Harry review elements and all, but something about the cadence is off, and the punctuation and spelling are too good.
Hey ZombieSolutions: Add Blacula to the Psychedelic Whatever Lis by Piltdown Joey	Oct 16th, 2005 11:55:43 AM
Blacula! Add that to the list. Funky Music. Funky clothes. Funky dialogue. Velvet galore! With shakespearean delivery of his lines tossed in by William Marshall! Awesome!
THE FOG (2005) cost $18 to make and just raked in $12 million on by godoffireinhell	Oct 16th, 2005 11:56:39 AM
It's a hit and the #1 flick this weekend. Expect that HALLOWEEN remake to start rolling in a month or two. PRINCE OF DARKNESS, THEY LIVE and THE THING will also soon be remade (again). Joy!
Yeah, but Jo-jo.... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:00:38 PM
...by 1980 standards the remake would be PG. Seriously, maybe you could point to the babysitter's death as something that was a moderately cool toss-off bit, but what was good about this movie? Characterization? No, I mean there wasn't even the amount of rote filling out the characters the original had. Acting? Seriously, this was a script that beat the life out of Selma Blair. Welling and Grace are absolute cyphers. What was it, specifically, that you liked? I mean, the scare bits on the boat, in the church, at the radio station, which were all straight from the original but watered down? Or was it the ending, lifted from the end of twenty or so AIP movies from the 50s and 60s and playing on how involved the audience is with a relationship between two completely flat and undeveloped characters. Seriously, I would have been more effected if Kari Wuhrer and David Arquette hadn't gotten together at the end of Eight Legged Freaks. Sorry, I didn't mean to go off about this, but I took the family to see this with no illusions that it would be very good, because it's almost Halloween and scary movies at the drive-in were a big part of my childhood and I want it to be part of my kids' childhood too, and I was still shocked at just how flat and empty it was.
Doc, seriously... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:02:31 PM
If you say one thing about a subtext of fascism I am going to laugh until I cry.
Because really... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:04:59 PM
...it's like defending the Amazing Two-Headed Transplant for what it had to say about racism.
And yes... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:05:47 PM
...I own them both. Because they are beautiful.
embrypotzebra721...That's hilarious....you are a funny guy! by Doom II	Oct 16th, 2005 12:07:43 PM
Be sure to wear your clown shoes to my son's birthday party in March! And I guess it's sad to even comment on your "virginity" comment, but I feel so inclined to let you 12 year old ass know that yes, I am a married virgin with a child. I was also engaged twice before and lived with several woman throughout the 90's and yet I remain a virgin. Will you please teach me how to be a bad ass pimpin' motherfucker like yourself? Pleas show me how to get laid! I beg you sir! What a cool screen name you have also. I am positive THAT ALONE gets you more pussy than Tommy Lee on a good day. Oh yeah, I liked the new Fog movie...
Best Harry Review Ever by IAmLegolas	Oct 16th, 2005 12:11:51 PM
I think I'm tearing up a little...
The Trashy Psychedelic Disco-Coke Film Festival by Flummage	Oct 16th, 2005 12:13:48 PM
Zombie, seriously. If we can't include Annie, The Wizard of Oz and The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking in the The Trashy Psychedelic Disco-Coke Film Festival, then I'm driving on and going straight to Quentin's place.
The Fog - a huge disappointment by Ivan_Mtl	Oct 16th, 2005 12:18:46 PM
You would be hard pressed to find a bigger fan of the original movie than myself - although Harry would probably qualify by virtue of his girth alone (I luvs ya, Harry). ;) I have to say that I really wanted to like this movie. The original version was truly a wonderful ghost story in the tradition of the legend of the Flying Dutchman. For most of the reasons given in Harry's review, I think it failed on every level. I think one of the things that made the original creepy was that a lot of it was left to our imagination. The betrayal of Blake and his crew was never actually shown, and it was through Father Malone's reading of his ancestor's journal that we discover the truth behind the terrible event. No special effect can equal what our mind can conceive when Malone meets Blake for the first time and describes the ravages of his vile disease. I remember having the same feeling with Henri Charriere's PAPILLON which starred Steve McQueen and Dustin Hoffman and BEN HUR. There is something about "internal horror" in which a person can't control what is happening to his own body, which makes it (in my opinion) the most frightening horror of all (I think David Cronenberg would probably agree). If a screenwriter and/or director can't make leprosy scary, then that is not saying much for their talent (or lack thereof). The only positive thing that I can say about this movie is that the few references to the original film made me want to go back and revisit the Carpenter/Hill classic again. This new movie definitely proves that often times "Less is More"
(Obvious Film Criticism 101) -- STARSHIP TROOPERS Was A Brillian by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 12:22:55 PM
albeit a hamfisted one. i love Verhoven too. he's basically an exploitation / b-film director who has been able to fool hollywood into bankrolling his hamfisted, hilarious, brutal gore fests. and that alone makes him one of my heroes. his commentary on the Starship Troopers disc is priceless. he pretty much lays it out in the first 5 minutes that this was a satire of American foreign policy in Iraq and what he saw (in 1997) as the inevitable Endless War that was coming. and he was right! i guess that's what happens when you grow up under the shadow of fascism (for Verhoven it was the Nazis) -- you get well-acquatined with the self-destructive behavior, poor-policy decisions, unmititgated arrogance, posturing and propaganda. he's eurotrash to the bone and i love him. he should team up with John Waters and make a sci-fi movie. now THAT would be an TRASH EPIC.
OH YEAH jojo-pimp..... by Doom II	Oct 16th, 2005 12:24:06 PM
I agree with every word you said. These new remakes are pretty good. I actually thing the new DOTD was amazing. And Carpenter is a personal idol of mine (pre 1987 Carpenter). The new horror movies coming aout are actually more like tributes. Not as good as the originals, but offer some cool twists and much better cinematography to be sure. Ryan Reynolds MADE the Amityville Horror movie, but people forget how boring the original actually was ( I just saw it 3 months ago).
Testify, Zombie! Testify! by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:24:10 PM

by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:24:47 PM

Well...except.... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:25:40 PM
...for the teaming up with Waters. Unfortunately, I think you're remembering a John Waters from a long time ago.
by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:27:01 PM

Hmmm...sorry about the seizure. by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:28:02 PM

Flumm, You Gentleman... by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 12:33:32 PM
Wizard of OZ is completely over-the-top psychedelic, and it's AWESOME, but i don't know about "trashy." it's subliminally gay, of course (like Star Wars) but it's cutsey poo nice gay, not trashy back alley meth-binge gay (like Can't Stop the Music) or closet gay (like Top Gun and/or every film Tom Cruise has ever been in ).
The Thing About JOHN WATERS Is, Which To Choose? by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 12:34:59 PM
PINK FLAMINGOES is the #1 stunner, but i'd be more inclined to include FEMALE TROUBLE or DESPERATE LIVING in the Trashy Psychedclic Disco-Coke Film Festival.
"Unfortunately, I think you're remembering a John Waters fro by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 12:39:12 PM
yeah, his dayz of glory are behind him, but i like what i've seen of his new stuff. it's aiight. i thought Pecker was really funny (and poignant in terms of the whole classwar stuff). i haven't seen Low Down Dirty Shame, but i heard it was just "aiight." still, his classics are TITANS of exploitation cinema. brilliant!
Red Ned Lynch by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 12:41:11 PM
No, I wasn't going to mention the anti-fascist satirical aspect of it because it's blatantly obvious. I was referring to the photogenic blockheads he intentionally cast to play the shallow, moronic "heroes" of the film. The joke is painfully at the expense of both Van Dien and Richards, something which becomes more and more obvious each time you watch the movie. I'll love Verhoeven forever for making such an outrageous combination of shameless gore, cretinous dialogue, hamfisted critique of fascism, subversive satire and tits. Starship Troopers has it all. Fucking brilliant.
But that means you're basically agreeing... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 12:43:09 PM
...with me. So why did you say I missed the point?
"the gothic level of florid, overblown incompetence Verhoeven ha by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 12:48:32 PM
Because of that, as well as the fact that you seem to interpret Van Dien's line after his home's destruction as somehow being bad writing rather than being intentionally symptomatic of his idotic and shallow character.
Thoe whole black-guy--gets-killed-first thing is an urban legend by Some Dude	Oct 16th, 2005 12:50:06 PM
Give me five examples, that aren't post-modern "comments" on this supposed trend (ie the beginning of "Scream 2"). Here is what really happens... The one or two blacks (occasionally token, but sometimes real characters) die before the final girl who is white. Somehow this becomes mis-remembered as "the black guy died first," when what really happened was some whites died, a black guy died, some more whites died, killer died. This misconception then became carved in stone every time some supposedly funny script had a black guy joke about getting killed first. So, find me those examples of the black guy getting killed first. I assure you, from decades of watching these movies, this is an urban legend and an unfortunate one because it promotes the idea that horror films are collectively racist.
Hey, Doc, Red Ned... by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 12:50:54 PM
i think we're all in agreement here in re: Verhoven's staggering trash genius! and he really does seem to be openly mocking his poor grade-z actors as well. both STARSHIP TROOPERS and ROBOCOP are fucking great. i would argue that SHOWGIRLS is also meant to be a satire / self-parody -- Esterhaus being the main target -- but it is soooo bad as to be almost in a category by itself. anyways, Verhoven is the most punk rock aging eurotrash exploitation blockbuster director we've got... in fact, i think he's the ONLY ONE. i can't WAIT for his JESUS/HITLER duology (if that ever happens). you know they are going to be completely over-the-top and insane... the public reaction alone is going to be a comedy goldmine...
Oh, and Verhoeven rules. by Some Dude	Oct 16th, 2005 12:53:03 PM
"Starship Troopers" is easily the best American film of the 1990s.
"Rupert Wainwright may be suffering from Head Trauma." PRICELESS by hipcheck13	Oct 16th, 2005 12:59:44 PM
...legendary review, Big Red. I knew this thing was gonna suck donkey gonad.
Florid, overblown incompetence is exactly... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 01:01:23 PM
...what's at work, though. And I love Verhoeven because of it. There are few things more precious than the films of someone who has a sort of protean social consciousness but who lacks the sophistication to present their ideas with any level of effective competence. The late sixties and early seventies are loaded with this kind of film, from the low rent (like Transplant) to the sadly star-studded (like The Happening). And there is nothing more wonderful than when a movie (like Troopers, or say Natural Born Killers) puts forth its message so poorly that most of the audiences who initially see it take away precisely the OPPOSITE message than that which I believe the people who made the films sincerely intended. I would agree that there is a "brilliance" to such movies...but it is of a very special kind. And now I just might go and watch Troopers again.
Some Dude... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 01:04:30 PM
...my favorite horror director is George Romero. So I would...tend to agree. (Though I always took the joke as being largely directed at slasher movies, where for a long time the last person breathing was required to be Jamie Lee Curtis).
Some Dude by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 01:05:01 PM
This is true. As is the fact these days that virtually no horror film cranked out of Hollywood today deviates from a startlingly similar distribution of ethnicity and gender among the main group of characters. Look for example at the boat crews of both Virus and Ghost Ship. Hilariously interchangeable. Normally I say it's a good thing - the more diversity the better, but when the stories take place in areas where we in real life know that kind of diversity would be uncommon and no explanation is given, it starts to feel artificial and forced. What's worse is that the filmmakers insist on everyone acting like a one-dimensional stereotype of whatever ethnicity or gender they belong to, thereby making the films at best lose all credibility, and at worst be offensive to anyone with healthy sensibilities.
Some Dude by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 01:10:10 PM
I think perhaps you have misheard the saying. As I've always heard it it's that, "The black guy ALWAYS dies in horror movies." I can't recal once that I've heard it as "dies first". I'd agree they don't die first, but they do tend to "always get it." Favorite example... Leviathan... the poor man's The Thing and ultimate jump shark of black guy gets it horror. Peace.
Red Ned Lynch by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 01:11:11 PM
Hmmm.... I take your point. However, I wouldn't put the failure of the film's message at Verhoeven's feet. Most of ST's detractors were, by far, in America. Just about everywhere else in the western world both critics and audiences seemed to understand what Verhoeven was saying.
Three hits in a row by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 01:12:25 PM
Aren't you popular! :P Peace.
100% with you here, Doc. by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 01:16:28 PM
Plus, it sets up this sort of strange, rote reality. 1. White man, often with accent, in charge. Crazy or crazy greedy and eventually in thrall or at least unwittingly helping evil. 2. White (or very rarely non-white) woman. Strong, competent, who grows more confident in her abilities as the film progresses. 3. Tough and wise ethnic stereotype, whose very toughness or wisdom eventually turns on them to bring them down. 4. White nerd/white weirdo. Sometimes broken into two characters. 5. Feets don't fail me now horrible "comedic" steroetype who showcases some halfwit's idea of "urban survival skills". 6. Alabama man. The white guy who likes a big gun. 7. Woman two. The one who acts like...you know...how wimmin's used to act. Back in the "good ole' days". This is changed up only slightly. Sometimes woman number two is old style vamp, or sometimes old style screamer, and sometimes the character is broken into two. But yeah, it's just heartbreakingly bland, predictable and stupid.
Doc... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 01:18:50 PM
...yeah, we've got nothing to fight over with Verhoeven. Still fun talking about it.
Though actually, Doc, when you put it... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 01:26:52 PM
...that way, it's a little depressing. It is a rare thing for satire of any sort to succeed as intended in mainstream US entertainment. I mean it's easy for me to point the finger at Verhoeven or Stone in those two particular cases, because they threw in so much sound and fury that it obscured and almost reversed their point. But then again, if they hadn't done that the films they made would have probably received no attention at all...the fate of most satire in the States. Thanks. I was all happy thinking about Troopers.
Red Ned by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 01:29:26 PM
Pop it in the player. You'll cheer up in no time.
I stole $100 from this films box office! by Tsunami3G	Oct 16th, 2005 01:48:26 PM
I didn't actually steal it. I talked our party of 10 out of seeing it after we ate at Beni Hanas last night. I pissed two people off but I see it as saving 2 hours of everyones time.
Yes the've run out of ideas in Hollywood, but... by Orionsangels	Oct 16th, 2005 01:52:12 PM
Studios see a remake as a movie that this new young generation never saw. Studios see it as an opportunity to present something old in a new socalled modern package. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't and you get a steaming pile of shit, like this Fog remake. Remember Studios aren't targetting us, but 15 to 19 year olds. They assume most of them are stupid.
You know Orionsangels... that really dosn't make me feel any by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 02:02:05 PM
I'm twenty. When I was 16 my favorite films were (still are for the most part) Seven Samurai, Alien, Blue Velvet, The Great Dictator, Akira, Evil Dead 2, Jaws, Blade Runner, Raising Arazona, and The Godfather. I'd say if anything my taste has improved since then. There are plently of dumb teens out there, but the mercury content of our blood or whatever hasn't gone up enough between my generation and this one to make me except this level of stupidity. Peace.
Neosamuria by ShadowSorkin07	Oct 16th, 2005 02:23:40 PM
You put alien over Aliens? I hope your taste as improved to see the folly of your ways.
LOTR'S aren't gay by ShadowSorkin07	Oct 16th, 2005 02:38:23 PM
The books sure as hell were though. Jackson did a good job of cutting back on that crap, there was just so much of it, our gaydars still went off. As for Star Wars, they are so not gay.
whoa, way to not know one of your favorite movies by ShadowSorkin07	Oct 16th, 2005 02:45:30 PM
In Alien they didn't have the same weapons they did in the second film. And sorry, it wasn't easy to kill them. I'm not say Alien isn't a classic either, I'm saying that Aliens is both a classic and the better movie, though it became an entirely different genre. It went from gothic sci fi horror to horror action movie.
Alien vs. Aliens by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 03:06:24 PM
I like them both for different reasons. Aliens is a sci-fi action movie. It revolutionized fiction in was that are still very present (and now painfully clich
it wasn't impossible by ShadowSorkin07	Oct 16th, 2005 03:10:51 PM
They fricken launched it into space at the end, that did the job rather well. also, in the sequel they make the point that humans adapt. In the first they didn't know what they were dealing with. In the second, they still really didn't, but they at least had the forsight to bring weapons. Just like men were more scared of natural predators 200 years ago, now we see a wolf we kill it with a rifle. The movie is more along that lines. And let's face it, if we ever did find a creature like the ones found in those movies, probably the first group would died like in the first movie, and then on a second meeting, we would have done something simliar to what happened in the second movie. And yes, the heroin is vulnerable in the second film, but she changed from the experince, she grew. That's why she surivied , she got tough. It showed a natural progession. So no, I wouldn't call it meaningless.
what was cut? by ShadowSorkin07	Oct 16th, 2005 03:16:05 PM
you say they reproductive system established in the orginal? What was it, I don't think I heard about this.
"in WAYS that are still present" by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 03:16:27 PM
Damn... on the Industructible debate. I don't think they are Industructible since the one in Alien did take that shot to the belly on it's way out of the air lock. I think that more applies to the fact that it could funtion in the cold vacuum of space
what was cut by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 03:16:48 PM

Damn enter key... by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 03:20:11 PM
Read Giger's Alien for full details. The Original alien was not a drone. There was a scene cut where Riply goes into the vent shaft in search of the Captan. When she finds him, he's in the process of becoming an Egg. The aliens addapt to their hosts, similar to those later on in The Thing. Peace.
"didn by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 03:24:06 PM
True, what I meant was... if you can break its exoskeleton it's not totally industructible... but actully killing the fucker... that's tricky. Peace.
Alien v. Aliens by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 03:25:30 PM
Alien was visionary social horror masquerading as sci-fi, drawing on what was best from the pulp sci-fi horror of the 50s and sculpting from it a film that made accesssible to the mainstream elements of Cronenberg's body horror while being one of the first films to play on the growing social fear that the ascent of corporations could create a new fuedalism. Aliens was a great action horror movie, one of the best ever made, but it at no point transcended its roots, and it was filled with anachronisms, like the "illegal alien" bit from Paxton's character. In short, Alien was the first time you ate sushi done right, or maybe your first beignettes eaten beside the Mississippi in New Orleans. Aliens was when they get the fries just right at McDonald's. That may sound like an insult, but I don't mean it that way. Those fries taste great. They just aren't anything new.
Oh... by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 03:25:31 PM
I scrolled past ShadowSorkin07's post and thought you were talking to me llac5. Peace.
ALIEN or ALIENS? They are BOTH good movies, BUT--- by Darth Bono Jr.	Oct 16th, 2005 03:27:15 PM
--the Pacific Ocean is just SO better than the Atlantic Ocean! So there!
This film is the no.1 film in america by emeraldboy	Oct 16th, 2005 03:35:24 PM
You called this film excruatingly awful and yet enough people went to it over the weekend to make it the no 1 film in the country. I think the no of people who log on to this site in the US must be a very number....
Uh-huh, Emerald. by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 03:46:01 PM
And Roger Ebert hated the first Spiderman, which went on to make four hundred million dollars, so he's the LEAST influential film critic in America. And George Bush wanted Terri Schiavo to stay on life support but the majority of Americans didn't, which is why nobody voted for the cretin. And Tesla wanted free electricity for everybody, and I'm still paying for my lights, so he was a stupid asshole. Point made, man. Point made.
Subliminally Gay Geekdom: STAR WARS; LOTR; THE MATRIX: A Primer by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 03:58:32 PM
[STAR WARS] -- 1) the Jedi are a gay super army; Anakin breaks the rules by being hetero and it ruins the big gay super society they created 2) R2D2 and C3PO! cmon, they're like Bert and Ernie -- the friendly gay couple that children love. ______ [LOTR] -- 1) The Hobbits, holy shit. Especially Frodo (receiver) and Sam (giver). 2) the Elves -- upperclass eurotrash model gay. Bowie gay. 3) Ian McKellan! _________ [THE MATRIX] -- 1) Keanu Reeves 2) eat the red pill and come join our magical goth gay techno leather patrol! 3) oh, and your "girlfriend" looks like a dude. and "she" saves you with love power. ___ (of course all Superheros are gay and pretty much everything in STAR TREK is supergay, so... there you go... subliminally gay geekdom of the "big three" in a nutshell...)
Darth, yeah I've seen that Woody Allen movie with Marge Simp by seppukudkurosawa	Oct 16th, 2005 04:20:03 PM

Star Wars is gay? by Piltdown Joey	Oct 16th, 2005 04:24:05 PM
If those flicks are subliminally gay, what is the opinion of the posters on the X-MEN movies?
Yeah Harry, when Fall Out Boy came on at the beginning of the mo by Craiggers	Oct 16th, 2005 04:25:28 PM
So I knew from that point the movie would only get worse. Tom Welling sucks. The only reason he works for Smallville is because the character of Clark Kent is just as lame as Tom Welling's acting skill, so it works. The terrible kills, with the exception of the grandma death scene, were lame as hell. Oh, and the token black guy for comedy relief... wow. Yeah comedy; this guy's lines went over about as well as mime at a school for the blind. Horrible horrible movie. My friend, who is a fan of Carpenter, felt like he was violated somehow by this abomination.
Gay movies by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 04:32:53 PM
You know... you can really find gay things in every movie if you look hard enough... it's like that number from Pi (the movie that is... I suck at math but I'm not that bad) or viginas in tree trunks! So really, who cares? You also might want to reword this Simbliminally Gay thing... sounds like an agenda. Try undertones or something. Peace.
Fuck me by BenFerris	Oct 16th, 2005 04:33:16 PM
I was really hoping for winner, I would atleast admit that the shot of Maggie Grace's ass was the best par of the movie. Damn she looks good. OH, that ass, those panties. My god.
BenFerris by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 04:36:37 PM
Your timing for that post could not have been more comically golden at your expense. Thank you makeing milk shoot out my nose. Peace.
Wait a sec... by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 04:37:44 PM
I don't think I've drank a glass of milk since 2002... HOLY FUCK! Peace.
Of Course The XMEN Are Gay, As Are All Supeheroes (Even The Stra by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 04:42:01 PM
that should go without saying. the whole metaphor is so obvious. anyone who has a problem with that needs to do some serious introspection.
I have some sad news to report..... by emeraldboy	Oct 16th, 2005 04:45:41 PM
Jerry Juhl died on the 27th of september. he was 67 years of age. He was head writer on the muppet show and worked on such things as fraggle Rock, The muppet movie, the great muppet caper, muppet christmas carol etc. He will be missed
Please Understand... by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 04:46:18 PM
i fully support gay rights, gay pride, gay power, gay shopping network, et al. i'm merely pointing out that which is so plainly obvious in terms of gayness in film / comics. this needs to be pointed out because 1) it's revealing; 2) many geeks are homophobic and need to wake up; 3) it's really funny. especially in relation to the whole supehero / sci-fi / fantasy thing. that's all...
I dunno, someone that thinks everything is gay might have to do by Craiggers	Oct 16th, 2005 04:48:06 PM
Don't get me wrong ZombieSolutions, I agree with your point for the most part. There are homoerotic subtexts in most movies, books, or tv if one digs deeps enough. But I think somebody above said it best - one could find vaginas in tree trunks if you looks hard enough. These frantic claims of yours almost comes off as a little homophobic. I'm just saying.
Films where the audience takes away the opposite message by FluffyUnbound	Oct 16th, 2005 04:53:37 PM
The thing about Starship Troopers that makes that happen is that the society as it is depicted simply looks like a better one to inhabit than the potential society they might have been if they did not have the fascistic tendencies Verhoeven is skewering. So if anything the film is undone because Verhoeven is too charitable to his subject. There is something intrinsically more pleasing and satisfying about provoking the bugs into war and then exterminating them then some boring exercise in trying to learn to communicate with them. The use of feel-good WWII imagery in the fake patriotic ads and in the ship design just piles on to the "good war" effect. The tits, the blood, and the use of tried and true war movie stereotypes [tried and true because they always worked before] don't hurt. Frankly, if Doogie Howser's uniform hadn't been so over the top with its sadomasochistic Nazi overtones, I bet the "satire" meme would have never even gotten off the ground.
Craiggers -- I Am Not Homophobic. I Love And Support My Gay Bro by ZombieSolutions	Oct 16th, 2005 04:59:26 PM
how is anything i have written come off as homophobic? i've been more then vigorous in my support of gay rights on this site and, more importantly, in the real world. i want everyone to accept the gay, not fear it. i think maybe you are misreading what i am writing.
My favorite Starship Troopers throwaway moment: by DocPazuzu	Oct 16th, 2005 05:11:46 PM
During one of those Federation info-clips a voice declares: "This is why the bugs must be destroyed!" while on screen there's a diagram of our galaxy, with Earth marked at one end and Klendathu pointed out at the opposite end, a "mere" 100,000 light years away. Hilarious, as well as the film's message in a nutshell.
James said it best, "I like the milk from the milkman's rice by Neosamurai85	Oct 16th, 2005 05:38:12 PM
Nah. Basically once I dicovered you can make mad dreamicicles with Soy, I left strieght milk for good. It is still the only way to have chocolate milk though. Normal milk without any doctoring taste real odd to me now because of the lactose. So yeah... once you go soy it's all you enjoy. And yes... I am aware of the number of really bad gay jokes I've set myself up for with this post. Enjoy... oh and do watch out for the gutters! Peace.
Well, the only Star Wars I watch is... by Red Ned Lynch	Oct 16th, 2005 05:44:51 PM
...return of the Jedi, with Princess Leia chained up in a metal bikini by Jabba the Hut. My favorite comic book is Wonder Woman. I like the parts where she throws her rope around the bad

Talkbacks

Harry says THE FOG remake is excruciatingly awful!