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F'n A! FANBOYS to finally lens this January!!!

bastard by Chicken2nite	Aug 24th, 2005 12:50:56 PM

If the guy survived until the release of episode I by Judge Doom	Aug 24th, 2005 12:56:05 PM
He would certainly die after some Jar Jar and Loyd Line Delivery...
this sounds like a tragedy. by mocky_puppet	Aug 24th, 2005 12:57:55 PM
Poor guy is going to die, and all he wants is to see this miracle movie with his buddies, and yet we all know that he's in for a two hour dose of wooden acting and "Meesa go poo poo!". They should play really sad violin music over the scene where they finally get to watch the film, and close ups of tears of horror running down the cancer guy's face, then the lights come up and he's dead, cut to black. The end, credits with no music.
This is 8 years in develompent and 8 too late! by Batutta	Aug 24th, 2005 12:59:26 PM
If The Phantom Menance didn't turn out ot be such a giant turd it would still be a valid project. As is it's a fucking tradgedy. If I had a few months to live the last thing on my mind would be seeing a movie. I'd be fucking every piece of ass I could get my hands on.
Huh? Harry has a kid???? by Russman	Aug 24th, 2005 01:04:24 PM
WTF? Is that what's he's trying to say in that incomprehensible shorthand?
Yawn by SamuelLappDance	Aug 24th, 2005 01:11:43 PM
Oh, great. Another chance to bash "Star Wars," or more specifically "The Phantom Menace." Is this what we're all gonna be doing when we are in our 40s and 50s and STILL virgins?!
Mocky Puppet by DinoDeLaurentiis	Aug 24th, 2005 01:12:48 PM
That was a the funniest thing I have a read alla day! Holy crappa I pissa my pants I laugh a so hard!
yes by Krangelus	Aug 24th, 2005 01:15:38 PM
yes. yes indeed.
Well the prequel apologists will love this by Thirteen 13	Aug 24th, 2005 01:23:45 PM
This will be their "shawshank Redemption".
The guy should die before he can see a frame of PHANTOM MENACE by godoffireinhell	Aug 24th, 2005 01:31:59 PM
That way he'd be able to die happy, having had this great adventure with his friends. If his last memory is a huge disappointment that'd be tragic indeed.
I'd be ready to die after seeing Phantom Menace by modlight	Aug 24th, 2005 01:32:36 PM
The sequel has them keeping the friend alive just long enough to hunt down and Jake Lloyd and Ahmed Best. Then its a suicide pact.
Too Late by Zedsdead	Aug 24th, 2005 01:33:10 PM
I agree that this movie would have had more of an impact before Phantom Menace came out. It possibly could still have worked if the film had been more of a critical success.
Seriously though by modlight	Aug 24th, 2005 01:40:27 PM
I think this film could work. Its like saying American Grafitti wouldn't work because it's on the heels of Vietnam. Remember how excited and goofy you were when this was coming out? I think it would be a good bit of nostalgia for us nerds. Plus if Phantom Menace had been really good wouldn't it have made the original trilogy less special. It gave us something to complain about and rally around.
The movie should end with at Baskin Robbins by stlfilmwire	Aug 24th, 2005 01:45:26 PM
They could sit there quietly eating a mound of ice cream. They eat for 3 minutes without a word. Then the dying guy mutters one line, "Fucking, Jar Jar." Cut to black.
So after they watch "The Phantom Menace"... by fiester	Aug 24th, 2005 01:49:00 PM
Do they burn down Skywalker Ranch, all taking their own lives in the process? Cuz that's the only ending that would really work here.
Are his last words on his death-bed by Big Jim	Aug 24th, 2005 02:08:01 PM
"George Lucas raped my childhood"?
Midway through the screening the ill kid turns to his friends an by The True Priapic	Aug 24th, 2005 02:44:26 PM

Tragedy Indeed! by JumpinJehosaphat	Aug 24th, 2005 02:53:06 PM
I imagine this film ending somewhat like the end of "Glory" -- our heroes have fought and fought through to the center of the fort, only to be wiped out. It would be great to see the final big rush to a screening of "TPM" deep inside Skywalker Ranch. Our intrepid protagonists prematurely joyous, they settle in for a pirate's view. "Fanboys" ends just as we see the smile leaving their faces.... Man, that would cut me deep!
At the end... by Shigeru	Aug 24th, 2005 03:02:25 PM
they should ALL die of cancer. Eye cancer.
Lucas should catch whatever this kid has as the ending by fenstersaysWTF	Aug 24th, 2005 03:03:33 PM
just for irony's sake
damn you shig, you beat me too it bastard by fenstersaysWTF	Aug 24th, 2005 03:04:49 PM

It's good to see that the SW TB is back sooner than later by IAmLegolas	Aug 24th, 2005 03:16:19 PM
And here I was thinking I wouldn't be able to read some good SW bashing until the DVD release. Thanks guys for the laugh!
lens by gredenko	Aug 24th, 2005 04:10:41 PM
stop using words like 'lensing' to talk about movies now while you still can. if this site starts reading like variety, you can all go to hell.
If it really is about fanboys, then dying guy's 3 friends sh by Big Jim	Aug 24th, 2005 04:22:54 PM
A sexy tomboy beanpole, a guy who has a beer and cheats on his wife, and Hulk Hogan ("We're gonna miss you, brother").
Just to add to the Lucas bashing,WILLOW was on tv last night... by The True Priapic	Aug 24th, 2005 04:29:36 PM
...and I was stunned at how much it has ripped off Lord of the Rings.So fucking blatant.God it was rubbish though,the parts in the midget village...uh,the shire...still freak the shit outta me.That homecoming to...uh,the shire...when he kisses his wife was creepy.I swear to God there was even a Galadriel rip off in the enchanted woods.Bet Hockney from Usual Suspects wishes that film would go away.Hey,Brownie!!!Oh,and holy christ..the wallcrawlin' trolls were abominable.Beaks' gorilla outfit in Trading Places was more realistic.....Christ,I'm a mug for staying up till 2 watching that shit.Terrible James Horner score too.........ugh..
TPM bashing by Indiana Clones	Aug 24th, 2005 04:31:05 PM
Real SW fans loved The Phantom Menace. The 'fans' who hate it are pretenders, posers and movie lightweights.
This talkback by scratcher	Aug 24th, 2005 04:41:54 PM
is one of the best ever. Thank you. By the way, remember all of those lame excuses that Lucas gave for why TPM was so lame? That the films were "for the kids", not for those who saw the originals? How does that stand up now that SW VI came out, was aimed at an older audience, and was what we all hoped SW IV would be? I'm just hoping that in ten years George will go back and "revisit" TPM and replace JarJar.
Finally, a movie for us!!! Rocks!!! by Sexybitch	Aug 24th, 2005 05:08:01 PM
I hear Kevin Spacey is a producer on this. How cool is this movie. Who doesn't want to see guys break into Skywalker Ranch!!!
SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!!!!!!! by tincanman	Aug 24th, 2005 05:13:45 PM
can't wait for this one! Sounds awesome!
RE: Oswald Cobblepot by Head In A Box	Aug 24th, 2005 05:16:30 PM
"if someone really wanted to make an intresting "fanboy" movie.. it would be all about the pricks that litter these talkbacks." Oswald, they did, it's called "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". The part at the end where J & SB travel the country beating the snot out of all the "talkbackers" that were talking shit about them was priceless.
As he dies his friends say "we love you" and he replies...ah,you by The True Priapic	Aug 24th, 2005 05:16:42 PM
I'm afraid this film may die on its arse as a laughing stock if it invests too much in TPM but perhaps they're going with the idea of kids wasting their(inthis case extremely valuable) time yearning for something that can never fulfill its promise.Perhaps it'll end on a sort of "we saw that damn film.Joey got there after all.But was it worth it.All that queing when Joey coulda ridden wild horse in Montana,but its what he wanted to do.Hell....a lot of us died a little in that damn film."
The Outlaw George Lucas by The True Priapic	Aug 24th, 2005 05:27:09 PM
"Oh my GOD!Its GEORGE LUCAS!" ,"Well?Are you gonna pay for those tickets or whistle Dixie?" , "We got 'em,Georgie!","Yeah.We got 'em,kid." , "Damn you Lucas,you promised me those fans would be decently treated!","They were decently treated.They were decently robbed of their money and then they were decently mind-raped!These geeks are nothing more than common nerds!" , "I reckon so!"
NOOOOO!!!!!! by Ace Hunter	Aug 24th, 2005 06:16:56 PM
They should re-create that "NO!" screaming scene Vadar does in ROTS when the dying kid realizes how crappy the movie is. Actually, it is in the filmmakers' best interest to make this a quest to see a FICTIONAL sci-fi sequel/prequel (a series made up in the vein of Star Wars or Star Trek). The Phantom Menace idea will not be taken seriously.
Uugh, here we go again by Lukecash	Aug 24th, 2005 06:17:17 PM
Scratcher: It WAS for the kids. Lucas kept saying that before he made the film and afterwards. He made Revenge for the kids who are now teens. Lucas has made a masterpiece epic film sextology. Which is the closest you guys will get to sex.
Hey Geek Boy - by Ric Flair,Whooo!	Aug 24th, 2005 06:57:19 PM
You never saw the NATURE BOY wrestle Qui Gon Joke for the INTERGALACTIC TITLE- whatta chump WHoooooo! Russman I'll see you at WRESTLEFEST XX so bring your A game sucka! Whoooooooo!
Lukecash by scratcher	Aug 24th, 2005 06:59:59 PM
It's hilarious when a talkbacker characterizes all talkbackers as "you guys" who never have sex, have no lives, etc., while at the same time adding themselves to that group. Keep repeating that you're cooler than the rest of the talkbackers, and that TPM is somehow connected with the word "masterpiece", and maybe you'll actually convince yourself.
Ric Flair by Russman	Aug 24th, 2005 07:06:52 PM
MotherF-er... you better bring your momma with you. My A game is already here. Whatcha gonna do? Punk. ***** And ACE HUNTER... that was some funny shit man.
Russman.... by Ric Flair,Whooo!	Aug 24th, 2005 07:21:30 PM
I'm IN yo momma's A game right now....Whooooooooo! uhhh!
this should only works as a COMEDY... by DarthBakpao	Aug 24th, 2005 08:23:47 PM
if they make it too serious and dramatic, nobody would buy it because we know how shitty TPM was. Make it a comedy and we'll have a hilarious movie we can all connect with
No, no, no, you got it all wrong. The awesomness of "Phantom" he by Tall_Boy	Aug 24th, 2005 08:42:02 PM
He wakes up after the screening in a white hospital room and his friends come in, realize that he's been miraculously cured by the movie, and they jump up for joy in slow motion for about 30 minutes straight.
Comedy about guys trying to break into Skywalker Ranch by tincanman	Aug 24th, 2005 09:36:57 PM
How could this premise not be good? Seriously. Four friends break into Skywalker Ranch. Think Jack Black.
by BigJake	Aug 25th, 2005 01:18:13 AM
i gotta tell u guys, i've read the scrpit for this and it is fucking hilarious. it does all of us fanboys justice. if it dosn't get made this time i'll be pissed
seriously....the script for this movie is fucking awesome....eve by BigJake	Aug 25th, 2005 01:20:36 AM

Do you think George Lucas will be in the film? by banthafodderUK	Aug 25th, 2005 04:08:02 AM
It would do his image the world of good if he can be seen to poke a bit of fun at himself.
In all seriousness by LordMadhammer	Aug 25th, 2005 07:46:28 AM
This could be the most depressing movie of all time. Frickin' Star Wars prequels....... WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE STAR WARS PREQUELS?!?!? I think "Matrix Reloaded" would have been a better choice b/c the gulf between expectation and reality wasn't so colossally huge with that one. Oh and BTW Indiana Clones can lick my sweaty nutsack b/c I'm an old school SW fan and I can still recognize when something sucks kthx. Oh and I got laid yesterday afternoon too, ha ha
I think this could be great.. by SW-Fan	Aug 25th, 2005 08:11:31 AM
I read it and I think this could be great. You get enough Star Wars references in there and keep it a good adventure flick with a good friends, I think it could be a hit.
what if the gods of irony intervened by trevorfactor	Aug 25th, 2005 08:21:38 AM
what if the kid with cancer somehow gets cured and makes it his lifes mission to let everyone know just how crappy the movie is before it's released thus causing noone to go see it and as a result lucas loses money on the picture - ow the sweet irony
Actually pretty damn funny by jessenyc	Aug 25th, 2005 08:47:43 AM
Someone slipped me this script on the DL, and I gotta tell y'all, it's funny and moving as all hell. Good to see I finally getting made! (even though I still disliked The Phantom Menace)
Ric Flair.... by Russman	Aug 25th, 2005 09:00:10 AM
Yeah, well I'm gonna stuff your ass up into my momma, then kick her in her stomach so that you'll slide out as an aborted adult! But I kind of agree with what someone else wrote above, it's to late for this movie. I can't even remember my pre-episode 1 anticipation for it. 40 Year Old Vigin RULES!!!
mask by trevorfactor	Aug 25th, 2005 09:38:49 AM
so when is someone going to remake that old cartoon about transforming vehicles? (including the delorean that transformed into a plane) "always riding on venoms trail"
so I says to em I says yeah baby cause I'm the midnight bomb by fenstersaysWTF	Aug 25th, 2005 09:53:41 AM
just watched that Tick episode last night and can't get it out of my head. This movie sounds pretty ok, but can you tell us anything more about it JesseNYC?
so he says to me "i like the cut of your gib" and i says to him by Ace Hunter	Aug 25th, 2005 10:45:29 AM
fenstersaysWTF just earned many cool points. Maybe the movie should be the guys breaking into Ben Edlund's pad to steal an unaired animated Tick episode. One where American Maid and DieFlaturMaus (sp?) finally get it on.
South Park already did this - mostly by Oliviscus	Aug 25th, 2005 12:06:27 PM
South Park already did the big trek to Spielberg/Lucas to stop them from fucking up the movies they already made. Kenny dies. It is warm, touching, and a half hour long minus commercials.
Bet I can pinpoint the moment the kid realises TPM is shit... by The True Priapic	Aug 25th, 2005 12:27:59 PM
..it's in the sub with Qui-gon,Obi-wan and..that thing.It's when..that thing...starts screaming and Qui-Gon says something like "Calm down!"It was at that moment that everyones smiles that had been stuck on their faces started to wither and their eyes screamed "...er...er...what....what is...what's going on...where am I?....Did...did we?..Did we...come in the right...in the right theatre??..er....er...?"
i missed that episode of southpark by trevorfactor	Aug 25th, 2005 01:44:29 PM
but if trey and matt did something similar to this they should get a cut. Those boys don't get nearly enough credit for the stuff they produce. I just watched the one with micheal "jamone" jackson and it was the funniest shit I've seen in a while.
Score one for the indie filmakers! by bryceps	Aug 25th, 2005 04:03:13 PM
That's right, this has been a script that's been around for years, and it wasn't a huge studio that brought this to light. It was some independent film producers who believed in the script, and made this happen. Hell yeah boys, keep it up!
This story will make a hilarious movie by dead-eye	Aug 25th, 2005 04:25:45 PM
I met Kyle at Celebration 3. While standing in lines for hours at a time, he got to telling me about Fanboys. At first I thought he was making things up to pass the time. Now that I have read the script I know he was for real. This story will make a hilarious movie. I cannot wait to see it. Judging from the tens of thousands of Fan-boys and Fan-girls at Celebration 3, this movie definitely has an audience.
ACE HUNTER is right by Laserbrain	Aug 25th, 2005 10:57:29 PM
If the filmmakers substitute "Star Wars' with a parody of the series' concepts (ala Galaxy Quest) it won't come off as a LAME post-post-modern, Kevin Smith fanboy wank fest and the filmmakers can make fun of the series' flaws with impunity. There is NOTHING cool about wearing your slavering devotion to Star Wars on your sleeve. Not in this enlightened new millenium. This could likely be an embarrassment in the vein of "Free Enterprise"._____________ Oh, and ACE? I just wanted to come back and remind you that the good guys ALWAYS win-- EVEN in the 80s.
I never understand all The Phantom Menace hate... by Hideo Kojima	Aug 26th, 2005 12:29:50 AM
Sure, Jar Jar is annoying, but after the first third of the film he's basically sidelined. Another common complaint is lil ani's lame dialogue ("I'm a person and my name is Anakin!" "I'll try spinning! That's a good trick!") Personally I think the dialogue is so lame/cheezy that it is funny (I laugh at it still...) 1. it's a little kid character 2. it's a ****ing star wars movie, it's not shakespeare. The Phantom Menace is better than Attack of the Clones. Period. The same people that prefer AOTC over TPM are the same idiots that prefer Crusade over Temple...
Hideo,sorry I don't agree.... by The True Priapic	Aug 26th, 2005 07:10:08 AM
..That..thing..isn't sidelined at all.It's central to the fight on Naboo.The dialogu is truly woeful but that could have been overcome if the performances weren't so boring.Christ,there's not a single good job done on the film.People think Neeson is good but he's actually wooden(the others are below wooden and in the 'vegetable' file) and only looks good in comparison to the muppets he's surrounded by.AOTC is poor certainly but nothing like as bad as Phantom.I genuinely have trouble thinking of anything good in that film other than Obi Wan running out fromn the lifted shield and smacking sabres with Maul.Julia Phillips wrote that the original Batman was a "gilded turd".I'm afraid there's no gilding on Phantom.It HAD the gilding of the Star Wars franchise but now has shat all over that.w before I'm accused of being a simple TPM basher,I must add that the build up was a great time in my life for many reasons.I was a huge Wars fan(still am..but can't watch the sp.eds as..oh dont get me started)and even..oh god...put a 'that thing' poster from Rolling Stone on the door of my flat in Uni in excitement at the forthcoming release.I can remember logging on to this site as a baby Priapic and the advert for TPM was linked and I downloaded and read the talkbacks.God,the excitement for TPM...!!So I was a fan.......oh,and I preferred Temple to Crusade.But Clones is just as unwatchable,but strangely in different ways,as TPM.It still stuns me why Lucas obviously bowed to fan hate and sidelined that thing in AOTC but still channelled the character into 3PO.And now that he's pretty much ruined films I loved...why have a young floating Anakin head appear at the end of Jedi(especially with a very EVIL grin)...I wonder whether I can actually watch a Star Wars film all the way through again.I suppose at least he deleted the emperors Jedi death scream from Luke falling in Empire.Christ on a cross.......
suck it losers by The_Great_Skeeve	Aug 26th, 2005 10:10:12 AM
Ernie used to be my roommate and one of the geek loser fanboy characters is roughly based on me. (I haven't seen a recent version of the script though, so 'I' may have been replaced by someone actually interesting..) 1) South Park does NOT deserve a 'cut' since their (VERY loosely) related episode came out well after E's script was out in public. It's not even the same thing really. 2) Stop with all the "it won't work" "I know how to do it better" "This is how the movie should end" crap. E put the time and effort into this, you didn't. It is a great script and any geek worth his basement will love it.
Skeeve... by The True Priapic	Aug 26th, 2005 02:02:43 PM
..I don't think anyone's blasting the script as most of us aint seen it.But its a great premise and worthy of cheeky piss-takes....It's a compliment to the scripty that an unseen(to most) screenplay has generated lots of cerfuffle(sp)....I'm not flaming you but I hope the script has more of a sense of humour than you,I'm guessing you are new to fan reaction..get ready for overload if this thing hits home!Good luck to the makers,don't get too upset at talkbackers...we're who ya all are meant to be speaking to....some of the above comments are funny,damn it...what we're not allowed to bitch about(notably not this film) but TPM??Oh,my...red...mist...desc ending....must....get the ...axe...
oh fuck no , not again, the darkness it's surronding me..... by doglips	Aug 26th, 2005 06:02:40 PM
Just by thinking about the prequels I am instantly filled with stinking, crushing sorrow.....Sure TPM and ROTS had their moments but no one can look back now and say that they're good films, even with the heaviest shades of rose on ( can they? )......Hopefully the poor lad in this film will fall asleep when Qui Gon removes his lightsaber from the door, wake up for the podrace and then doze off again until the closing credits....he might then believe it was a Star Wars film....god forbid he wakes up when it goes all 'green' poor little bugger doesn't deserve that.....More worrying is the prospect of the live action T.V. series what hope can we hold out for that?....I really don't think I can handle more mythos raping by the skywalker ranch crew....It's sad to think that the best Star Wars commodity since 1983 is a cartoon, but thank fuck for Genndy Tartakovsky or we would have nothing at all.... Southpark is all genius but the George and Steven episode ranks with the Cartman/Radiohead as one of the best, the end 'ark' sequence is fucking hilarious......Just trying to decide whether or not I should expose myself to a further hour and a half of the TommyKnockers - what a load of bollocks, but you have to watch to see if they did really change the entire story ( the ship was definitely a flying saucer in the book not a lego like construction as portrayed.....Ahh Lego.... anyone else going to buy the new sandcrawler ( it looks great, with the full cast of droids and lego owen!!)....Star wars shop have been tempting me with emails again.....Was Stealth any good ? did you really go?!?.........
No No No.....Green alien entity possessed killer dolls....I can by doglips	Aug 26th, 2005 06:25:03 PM
The TommyKnockers has no redeeming features and my will to live is faltering....I leave for tonight with this thought, this piece of utter turd, this three and a half hour numbathon is more entertaining than AOTC...how disgracefully fucked up is that???
Dogslipsx and Tommyknockers... by The True Priapic	Aug 27th, 2005 08:00:12 AM
.....dude,they even have Traci ords looking like a druggy for 85% of the show.She looks cute in the first 15 mins but...I must admit to not realising how awful this wa.I too gave up...I'm now watching a repeat of Xfactor as I enjoy watching freakshows and talentless losers believe the world owes them a living.I suggest they watch Fight Club and listen to Tyler Durden's speech on fame....I hate that talentless little ball of deformed clay and that ghastly hag but Cowell is the star of the show...like watching a car crash....I need a drink....
The True Priapic by The_Great_Skeeve	Aug 27th, 2005 05:04:36 PM
I'm not one of the makers, I just was one of the "base models of geekdom"... I lived in the basement where Ernie lived and played video games 8-12 hours a day. Everyone in the house did stand up/improv comedy and made a few public access TV shows... It's cool... I'm not mad or anything, I'm not new to fan reaction. It CAN be annoying though... ; ) Right now, I'm just riding the "I used to be Ernie's roommate" train.. and let me tell you... it is one sweet ride right now. : )
Skeeve...cool,no probs... by The True Priapic	Aug 27th, 2005 05:46:12 PM
..as a geek with a sense of humour I look forward to any film that is laced with know-all humour.I honestly send good luck to anyone who wants to make an original film in these times of movies based on old tv shows and unwanted sequels.Good Luck to all,but talkbacks can be unforgiving(hell,I'm as reactionary as the next guy in my Priap mode but...)but when it comes down to the walter nitty Im up for any film with a bit of honest to goodness 'balls'Ultimately filmakers need to say BOLLOCKS to fans and make a movie they want.Then they cant be accused of pandering....I haven't read the script,but offer my luck to them.But beware....Priap is a cheeky lover that spanks the bum of his most loved,so it better be good.....

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