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FANTASTIC FOUR (2005) review

Ahem by FloppyStumps	Jul 5th, 2005 11:48:39 AM
Really looking forward to this
Bullets in his pee pee by Bobo_Vision	Jul 5th, 2005 01:39:24 PM
This I gotta see.
that sucks.... by nalapou	Jul 6th, 2005 12:30:59 AM
I was looking foward to this film... at least Jessica Alba is still amazingly hot.
Still say it will suck. by Bean_	Jul 6th, 2005 12:38:00 AM
I won't see it.
ummm by bib fortuna	Jul 6th, 2005 12:38:39 AM
damn defective talkback. it ruined my sense of superiority..sniff..
I dunno... by Bean_	Jul 6th, 2005 12:38:47 AM
Wonder if Harry's opinion will change my mind...
Oh FUCK... by Drworm2002	Jul 6th, 2005 12:44:16 AM
I really really really really really wanted this to work. Why do they have to fuck up so many great comics. why can't they take the time and work to make it better then just go..."hey we could make a few bucks here...fuck make more movies...lets just make one bad one." Didn't anyone learn from Catwoman? I mean, that should have told the Co's not to stray too far from the source.
kinda rule? by zacdilone	Jul 6th, 2005 12:44:55 AM
Isn't that like "sorta pregnant?"
Hey Childe Roland... by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 12:48:35 AM
...sounds like somebody's been paying attention to your posts.
Can't trust anything this guy says by JUSTICE41	Jul 6th, 2005 12:52:32 AM
He hated this from the get go so why would his review be worth anything? Sorry fatman your words are invalid due to your hatred. Your too biased to listen to. Besides you like movies I've hated and you hated shit I like.
Fantastic Forty-Two by pencil-man	Jul 6th, 2005 12:58:17 AM
Holodigm, fuck you. If you don't like a movie, you don't like a movie. I hated The Matrix until I saw it. Even then, I thought it was entertaining, but nothing great. Alll you pojos seem to think God came down and annointed it with His Holy Cock, and then turn around and hate the sequels. I'm not going to see Fantastic Four until it comes to the library. Or until Fantastic 4 2 comes out.
Dear - Above Monkeys - From Harry by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 12:58:25 AM
Actually - I didn't HATE it - I kinda liked it - there's just so much bad in it - that it isn't really a very good movie. Just mediocre with a few bright spots.
This is what happens... by moviemaniac-7	Jul 6th, 2005 12:59:03 AM
... when you make movies with a release date in mind and not the movie itself. Fox blows it once more. All the reviews about the movies are mediocre at best. This does not smell good at all.
And don'tr even pay attention to mo's review by JUSTICE41	Jul 6th, 2005 01:00:11 AM
Mori is just The Good cop to Harry's stupid fat Bad cop, clown routine. Mori has always sided with Harry no matter how bad the movie, he just does it with nicer words.
Wasn't there a scene with the human torch and a missile in t by madfigs	Jul 6th, 2005 01:01:04 AM
It's been a while since I saw that one, but it sounds awfully familiar...
"If you compare this work to that in Brad Bird by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 01:01:41 AM
Ouch, that's sure to ruffle a few feathers.
Is the quick talk back feature on the frits or what? by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 01:08:11 AM

What... Jessica Alba can't pull off a geneticist? by el che'	Jul 6th, 2005 01:08:26 AM
Will wonders ever cease?
Anyway "If you compare this work to that in Brad Bird by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 01:09:05 AM
Ouch, that's gonna ruffle a few feathers.
Dang... oh well, at least I don't know anything about the co by Russman	Jul 6th, 2005 01:10:59 AM
HARRY!! Why didn't you post my 40 Year Old Virgin review????
Wait for it... by el che'	Jul 6th, 2005 01:11:28 AM
Jessica Alba can "pull ME off any time!" Ho ho!
Need more fun movies this summer. by GDM	Jul 6th, 2005 01:14:39 AM
Is that too much to ask?
Peyton Reed was supposed to do this, what happened? by Thoreau	Jul 6th, 2005 01:18:37 AM
Really, he is a good director with respect for the material, what happened?
very close,,,fantastic suck by perfecto_fan	Jul 6th, 2005 01:21:39 AM
who gives a damn about first?
Why didn't Peyton Reed make the movie? by Phloton	Jul 6th, 2005 01:29:46 AM
Because Tim Story's Barbershop made a lot more money than Down With Love. It's clear they had no interest in putting someone with respect towards the material. It's the same reason studios hire Brett Ratner. A movie he was on made it's money back and some change. That's all that counts. Of course then you have another hack like John Singleton who hasn't had a hit since Boyz, but he still gets to make movies. I guess the studio makes enough in video sales.
Lost Cuatros es Fantasticos! by PMK	Jul 6th, 2005 01:30:22 AM
from Conan.
By harry's comparison then The animated Batman cartoon is th by JUSTICE41	Jul 6th, 2005 01:31:08 AM
Why would anyone with half a brain try to compare a cartoon to live action? Stupid. A cartoon can be made to do whatever you want. Live action, even augmented with CGI, is still limited. Just watch any of The StarWars prequels. Stinkerooonii Anyon who compares a book or a cartoon to the live action version should be fed feet first into a wood chipper.
I can't wait! by spumpkin	Jul 6th, 2005 01:39:27 AM
For the disappointment! Just kidding. How could I possibly be disappointed by something that I knew would suck from the very beginning? The Marvel films started out strong, but seemed to peter out around Daredevil. DC wins this round.
Wow...what happend to Marvel by Bong	Jul 6th, 2005 01:43:06 AM

Alba can't act...basically a prop to bring in the horny guys by Bong	Jul 6th, 2005 01:45:49 AM
Who will spend money on a film ticket just to see how "hot" she is...forget plot, acting, etc
Mundanes? Was that a fucking Xanth reference? by kintar0	Jul 6th, 2005 01:47:10 AM
This fuckin' FF movie has looked shitty from day one.
Space Camp Rules! by THE WALLACE	Jul 6th, 2005 01:50:56 AM
I'm going to pull out my DVD of that and watch instead... I mean you have an all star cast! this move has everything! - Tom Skerrit, Joaquin Phoenix, Tate Donovan, howard the duck girl, Travoltas wife, the girl who ruined temple of doom, some token black guy, a robot, Star Wars references... um... space shuttles... Drama! Comedy! Did I mention a token black guy!??!
Galactus! by Det. John Kimble	Jul 6th, 2005 01:52:43 AM
Although 'The Tick' did a great spoof of that story, seeing FF and the Surfer deal with the a world-eater would be, ya know, kinda cool.
Wow, SHOCKER!!!!!! Harry doesn't like a movie.... by Kai_Mah'gra	Jul 6th, 2005 02:02:55 AM
......for which he wasn't invited to a set-visit, nor received any gift-baskets from and which he's subsequently been trashing for months on end now. How many people are seriously surprised at this? Really, how many? Let's see a show of hands. Here's another question for you fanboys....how many people are willing to bet that this movie makes more money this weekend than Batman Begins did in it's opening weekend, as well as a whole bunch of other movies that Harry drooled over? Based on timing (smack-dab in the middle of July and the summer), low-expectations by critics ( a low bar to pass), a saturated marketing campaign aimed at the teeny-bopper demographic as well as the fact that it is coming hot on the heels of WOTW, I would even venture to speculate that the Box-Office breaks out of its slump this weekend. This, of course is not by any means to say, that the movie is a masterpiece. But merely that Fox marketing department certainly know how to do their homework with regards to scheduling and Ad campaigns. It will be interesting to hear Harry's opinion once this happens after all the heavy-duty dumping he's been doing on this movie. At the very least, that Harry has a negative review has to bode very well for the movie's fun-factor and enjoyability rating, given Harry's track record with calling these things (Van Helsing, anyone???)
I will see this flick, pissed in my pants drunk by perfecto_fan	Jul 6th, 2005 02:17:34 AM
Is there any other way to see this movie? Johnny Storm looks stupid with a fucken buzz cut.
Hmmmm....Kai raises some interesting points by Purple Genie	Jul 6th, 2005 02:19:56 AM
....Kai raises some interesting points. Harry has hated this since frame 1 of a trailer. Wasn't busting out to see this, but Jessica Alba INVISIBLE??? It's so ironic it probably just has to be seen.
Nip/Tuck..... by Hairy Nutsack	Jul 6th, 2005 02:21:43 AM
Harry has never seen Nip/Tuck? Christ man you're missing some of the best TV ever! Oh wait I forgot, he doesn't like GOOD television.AHEM New Battlestar Galactica AHEM
WARNING! There are industry hacks on this message board! by TedSallis	Jul 6th, 2005 02:26:15 AM
And yeah, these guys are on FOX marketing payroll.
It won't make more than BB because the BO is too crowded by spectrebeeyatch	Jul 6th, 2005 02:28:29 AM
You've got WOTW already out and Dark Water opening too. Both movies aim for the same demographic as F4. Now kids might go see F4 in packs but still won't help it to make more than 50 million in one weekend. I can see WOTW #1 with 37 million, F4 35, Dark Water 17-20 million. The word of mouth for this movie will not be strong and it will drop. I have my free pass from the Man On Fire dvd so I'm set to see it friday.
This may or may not beat Batman Begins opening weekend. I doubt by Thirteen 13	Jul 6th, 2005 02:29:19 AM
It probably won't debut at number one against War of the Worlds. They will probably have to settle for a debut in second with Batman Begins a close third. And yeah it might make more money than Batman Begins did for its opening weekend. Then of course Fantastic Four tailspins into 4th or 5th place the following weekend. Mediocre badly done superhero flicks don't stay in first or second place for very long.
WARNING! There are people who think Industry Hack's opinions by Purple Genie	Jul 6th, 2005 02:30:10 AM
LOL. Does pot make you paranoid?
Just saw the movie tonight also... by Hail	Jul 6th, 2005 02:31:24 AM
Harry is pretty much right. I never read FF, so I can't argue what's changed from the source material, but this film needed a more competent director...bottom line. There were so many things that happened w/o justification. The actor's (Ioan and Alba) needed to act off each other, and not just read lines while making emotionless expressions. I loved THING (especially the wedding ring moment after the bridge, which also happens to be one of those out of place moments I mentioned earlier). I also like Johnny Storm. Though he needed to be more Top-Gun Maverick, which at times he was. Unfortunatley, the director doesn't help this young actor maintain his consistency. There's also no emotional resonance to anything. Debbie leaving Thing. Thing being dumped, etc...However, I did like Julian McMahon, but I do think his best stuff is at the beginning before he becomes DOOM. After that, he really doesn't interact with anyone, leaving him to innermonologue. This movie is VERY episodic and never reaches a rythme, so it feels longer than it actually is. Ummm...I don't feel like dragging this out anymore. 2/4 stars
ffs by Fortunesfool	Jul 6th, 2005 02:39:35 AM
Can you not just say it's shit. Episode 3 had a couple of good scenes in it too but it was a bad film, Lost in space had a couple of good scenes in it but it was a bad film. There was some great shots in matrix reloaded but in no way to they justify me saying it was a great film. This is clearly a bad film yet you seem to be defending it cause it has a couple of good bits..thats not a film thats a movie trailer.
Not sure yet if I will see this by adolfoliver	Jul 6th, 2005 02:44:14 AM
When the trailers are groan inducing, you just know the movie has little hope. Although I disagree with a lot of what Harry thinks about new releases, I wouldn't be at all surprised to find out that we agree on this picture. First of all, you just knew Jessica Alba was going to mutilate Sue Storm. You can tell Marvel had little respect for one of it's oldest, most cherished superheroes when they supported Alba's involvement in the first place. Jessica A. is just another pretty face in Hollywood and that is all she is. If they wanted her in the movie, then maybe she should have played the Thing's blind girlfriend or some other bit part. She doesn't seem like she could spell the word 'scientist', much less be one. Also, Dr. Doom has to be an absolute bad ass. He is arguably the most famous villian in the Marvel Universe and from the the trailers you get none of that. Instead of an older, wiser actor to play him, they chose a run-of-the-mill metrosexual frat boy to play him. In other words, someone who commands no authority. All Marvel has right now is Spider-Man to point to as a viable franchise and it is quickly running out of titles from which to draw upon.
Harry didn't like Jessica Alba in the movie cause she was co by IamNumber1	Jul 6th, 2005 02:50:58 AM
Seriously, Now that Harry says he hates this movie (but sorta liked it), than I will definitely see this movie. Just about every movie he hates I love. Christ, he also kinda liked catwoman. I don't expect this movie to be any good, but I'm still seeing it on general principle.
DocFalken Help!!, we're being invaded by SuperHero Hypes fuc by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 02:52:37 AM
Holy shit, we need a filter and we need one fast. Get ready boys the 'shinny happies' are on their fuckin way here to spread "positive buzz" for "their" god damn franchise. Here are some ways to spot em. First they complain that Harry has had it in for this film and that he is such a "meany" or a "fat butt" but that might be pushin it for em. They'll say that this film has a lot going for it and that we're being "rascist". If they do curse it will sound like they've never done it before, they might even self edit themselves like this "F*k or Sht" they'll use a lot of symbols like this :-( or this :-) and some may even type out "rolls eyes." Their kind of like an uber conservative church group on a road trip, but much more annoying.
Sounds pretty good by Bryan	Jul 6th, 2005 02:55:01 AM
Just kidding. I don't have any interest in this but I'm still pissed that Avi Arad burned the negatives to the original, probably way more entertaining Roger Corman cheap-o version. (That's what it says in this month's Wired.) I plan to buy the rights to this inferior Fantastic Four movie and burn the negative before it is transferred for DVD. Not because I have anything against the movie, but as a super villain revenge on Avi Arad. I would've done it to Daredevil but it's too late, that one already escaped.
Just remember: Harry LOVED Van Helsing... PRAISED the Emmerich G by Triumph poops!	Jul 6th, 2005 03:26:43 AM
What can I say? Go ahead and predict now how YOU'LL actually react to the movie if and when you see it...
seeing how apple.com only list 12 (!!!) trailers, i'm not at by bauhausen	Jul 6th, 2005 03:30:22 AM
...rotten. i mean whenever did the ff4 need to be promoted? looks to me like the producers really had a bad feeling about this very early.
Harrys nephew by simongarth2001	Jul 6th, 2005 03:39:30 AM
Why didnt you take your nephew to see this Harry? You seem to take him to everything else. I am more than sure he would have loved it....
For one- I Give a shit about FANTASTIC FOUR by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 03:50:56 AM
Triumph Poops - First off I wrote 2 reviews on GODZILLA - the 1st was the night of the world premiere and was about that premiere as much as the movie. You try to not have fun in Madison Square Garden sitting by Ali - audience members standing on their chairs doing the Arsenio Hall "dog pound" everytime Godzilla appeared on screen and so much sub-woofing power that every time godzilla stepped - you got a hummer. The next review was 36 hours later when I got back to Austin - took my father to see the first show that next morning in a nearly empty theater and found myself looking at a movie that would need an astonishing extracurricular experience to distract one from Maria Bello's horrendous acting and something pretty damn bad. As for ARMAGEDDON - I make no excuses - I love the film. Probably has something to do with having something in common with about 70% of the audience that saw that film. And I don't HATE - FANTASTIC FOUR. I kinda like it, despite a massive amount of shit in the film. And ya know what... I totally know where you're coming from. Had I not read about 9 drafts of this script and saw them systematically make the film worse and worse through the development process. Had I not been in contact with filmmakers at all stages of this production giving me updates about what was happening behind the scenes. Had I not just seen the film for myself. I probably would be clutching on to hope that they had made a Great FANTASTIC FOUR movie. I mean... It isn't that hard is it? You ask ANY Fantastic Four lover for a basic beat outline for how to tell the origin and a good Dr Doom vs FF story and you'll get pretty much the same thing. Unfortunately - most of those beats are not here. Unfortunately, and I wish to god I could tell you otherwise, the movie is mediocre with bright spots here and there. Can you have a degree of fun with this movie? Sure. But this isn't the movie that FANTASTIC FOUR could have been. And you don't need me to tell you that. You'll know it yourself this Friday.
My Nephew by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 03:54:22 AM
SimonGarth - I didn't take my nephew to this tonight, cuz I didn't know about the screening till about an hour and a half before and he lives clear on the otherside of town and it was rush hour - aka no way to pick him up and get seats in time... or so I thought. The 200 seat auditorium didn't even fill up for the free screening - leaving about 50 seats empty. Sigh. I will be taking him to see the film next week. He will dig it, but I don't want to contribute to opening weekend.
hey boss... by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 04:00:22 AM
Good to see you still awake this late in the evening.
OK I've had enough, Harry is an elitist.... by badboymason	Jul 6th, 2005 04:02:09 AM
..who thinks he knows more and has better taste than everyone else: "The more educated in effects, film and the human language that you are
VAN HELSING vs FANTASTIC FOUR by Harry by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:03:09 AM
#1 - VAN HELSING sure as hell didn't look cheap - but back in 1974 that exact same script would have starred DOUG MCCLURE. #2 - VAN HELSING was never sold as being anything other than a Stephen Sommers caffiene sugar junkie saturday morning Universal Monster take-off. I actually would have GREATLY preferred Sommers' take on the FANTASTIC FOUR to this one. For one - the fx all would have been handled by ILM. Two - he would have the PogoPlane and the Fantasti-car. Doom definitely would have been based out of Latveria, and had been a sorceror/scientist. There would have been Doombots and tons of action (nonsensical action, but action none-the-less) and the film... would have ended with a sky loaded with asteroids with something silver approaching quickly from space.
Armageddon by Mark Twain	Jul 6th, 2005 04:06:16 AM
Sigh. Harry gets a lot of grief for this one, but I gotta take his side. Yes, there is a lot to dislike about Armageddon, but I gotta chalk it up in my guilty pleasure column. I have no idea why. Somehow, despite all the flaws and horrible science, I like to watch that movie. For all you Armageddon haters, there's a great review at The Agony Booth that tears it apart and it's hilarious even if you like the film, as I do. Now what you saw in Van Helsing Harry . . . .
"The jewel of what the Fantastic Four can still be seen." by Acerbic Norseman	Jul 6th, 2005 04:06:58 AM
This sentence makes me dizzy.
Harry by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 04:09:05 AM
Just by reading your opinions here we all know how much love you have for moviies, in particular those in the "geekghetto" of popular culture...but can you HATE??? There's nothing wrong with hating Harry...yin yang you know. You bashed nearly ALL the reasons to go see a Summer Blockbuster...and yet you feel the need to tell people that you didn't really hate it? Let it die man...in 10 years, some other company will pick up the rights to it...and we can do this all over again. Are you that much of an optimist that you'll be willing to ignore all the negative and say it wasn't bad? FLAME THE FUCK ON HARRY AND LIGHT THIS SHIT UP!!! C'mon, you'll feel better, I promise.
BadBoyMason by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:12:15 AM
I don't think if you know more about film, fx and human language that you're better than anyone or lessor than anyone. But knowledge of those three things and/or including knowledge in depth of THE FANTASTIC FOUR - will affect the love of love/hate one has for the film. That's simply a reality. Doesn't mean if you like it - you're a slobbering retard. If you hate it - doesn't mean you're Reed Richards. BUT - the lady I heard that "really liked" it at the theater tonight said, "I really liked it. I don't know much about the cartoon, cartoons are stupid." and her friend that liked it responded with, "I liked it too, it's almost as good as GEORGE OF THE JUNGLE" --- I'm not shitting you.
Ok Harry by simongarth2001	Jul 6th, 2005 04:16:36 AM
I am a massive FF fan too...since the late 60's. I just wan't the best FF film I can get. I am sure this one will do fine, but lets all hope they do it right for the sequel. It really isn't hard...just kindA...oooh, I don't know.....STICK TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL!! I want too see the real DOOM!! Maybe we still will.I am gonna enjoy this one for all it's worth and see what happens down the road.
KeepCoolButCare by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:23:49 AM
I don't flame to be funny, nor to be cool. When I out and out roast something, it's because it is god-fucking-awful. I honestly don't feel this is god-fucking-awful. It's merely mediocre. When a critic walking by me during the end credits asked me what I thought - I raised my hand and made that wavy hand motion that denotes mediocrity. You know, the international handsign for so-so. By the time I reached the door and the Fox rep asked what I thought to report back to Fox - I said - "Pretty Mediocre." That's not funny, that's not being mean. That's being honest. My father hated it far more than me. Robogeek instantly began comparing it to his own shit after a particularly bad night at a mexican restaurant - and everybody looked to me to give it the axe - and I just don't hate it. It is exactly what I thought it would be. A mixed bag. A film that would have moments that made me dream of what the FF could be, and a film that made me realize the limitations of everyone that made the film. I didn't know specifically what would work and what wouldn't. Though in the script, Johnny and Ben worked. Reed and Sue really didn't. Reed wound up working better than I thought. Doom was bad in the script, much worse in the film. Ultimately, the film had a warm spirit to it - but bad action, some piss poor space stuff that reminded me of very bad space films, and Doom burning a hole through a guy that looked about as convincing as something out of SCARY MOVIE 2. It's a wildly mixed bag with some stuff I liked, some stuff I hate. But ya know - if ya love it, killer. If you hate it, damn, I'm sorry. And if you're like me - you hope that Fox learns from their mistakes... Sees the potential in the property. Attracts a far better director, gets Michael France to writing, and makes a vastly superior 2nd film.
by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 04:28:20 AM
What's worse, Harry being judgemental or you suckers begging for a reply from him?
Please use full sentences in reviews by kuryakin	Jul 6th, 2005 04:35:41 AM
Unless you are B.M Bendis you don't need to...I mean it's like - did you ever...the effects in this film...when they work...they don't work....
TeraBaap by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:39:15 AM
Well - go back and read my comments in regards to X1. I was slagging on it - but was reserving judgement based on Bryan Singer's talent, the talent assembled (Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Darth Maul, Halle Berry{she was an actress back then}, Rogue girl{it's late}) - The script had gotten far more right than wrong - but the word from set and from some of the actors and from FOX was quite awful. When I went into the theater to see X-MEN, I knew it was going to be fucking dreadful. When I left the theater - I was so fucking happy cuz while it wasn't the X-MEN of my youth - it was it's own great cinematic invention. I have no problem with change if it works. I wish to god this worked. This Doc Doom does get plenty of laughs from an audience. Anna Paquin is many times the actress that Jessica Alba is... though, I'd rather fuck Jessica Alba - though settling for Anna Paquin wouldn't suck. Actually - I haven't had a wedge up my ass about this movie from the beginning. Read what I thought about it when Columbus was set to direct and even Peyton Reed. No, my ass wedge began when the director of TAXI and Simon Kinberg's dreadful fucking draft landed in my hands. As for T3 - the film changed my mind, remember. I railed on that for months - and then liked it. Avi hasn't been snubbing me, we spoke as recently as when he cast Kelsey as THE BEAST. I have never had a producer gig at FOX - that's bad info mate. And I'm not obsessed with the film being 100% true to the comic, I would love for it to just work on its own merits. It didn't. As for the GODZILLA screening. Dude - you ever seen a movie with 40,000 other people... Beach Balls being bounced around the stadium. Audience doing coordinated chants. It wasn't a film - it was an event. And one you just couldn't understand unless you were there. And I absolutely admit it affected the review, that's why 2 days later... I wrote the review stating I was insane. Point to another critic that has done that.
plant city... by John Travolta	Jul 6th, 2005 04:39:21 AM
...for a good laugh, check out the imdb.com FF page. It's a jungle out there dammit.
Wow, interesting to see Harry not just posting a review, but act by Commando Cody	Jul 6th, 2005 04:42:34 AM
I think the only point Triumph was trying to make was the exact same point others have made over and over again as well: going by all the films Harry HAS liked and raved about here -- and then comparing it to your own experience with those exact same films -- you can sort of guess where you might stand on the FF in the long run. I mean, it's a pure and simple extrapolation. If you do it for Roger Ebert and his thumbs up or down reviews, no reason you can't do it for Harry as well. And frankly, as a filmgoing comparison, I actually wish he had taken his nephew simply to see how a kid did react to this. Being the purist he is, will Harry completely freak out if his nephew loves it and adopts this version of the FF to call his own? And makes it the version for his generation to embrace and go by? I know my own nephew (who's 10) is dying to see this. To him, this is the big movie he's waited all summer for. He's loved all the things he's seen so far, and it's certainly got the kid...um, in the kid...jazzed for this movie. Me, I'm a lifelong FF fan (and I mean lifelong as in going al the way back to the priginal Kirby era) and the trailers won me over. Naturally I'll base my review on the final film once I see it, but so far I have to say I'm not completely outraged over what I have seen. I certainly think I'm going into it with a fresher and better frame of mind than Harry did, who actually did seem to take some rather heavy baggage in with him, or at least did seem to make his mind up to a particular degree a long time before this thing ever unspooled. Then again, I'm looking forward to a fun, big budget FF summer flick since I'm one of those that owns a copy of the Corman film, so I can honestly say I know what a truly crappy film version of the FF can be like!
Re: My Sommers' FF bit by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:46:53 AM
It was tongue in cheek, but honestly - he would have made a better film, far more imaginative than this. As for VAN HELSING's trailers and marketing materials... that isn't what advertised the movie to me, it was Sommers. Any time you see his name, you know... without a doubt that you'll be getting a jokey, hokey, overblown spectacle with all the nutrition of FRANKENBERRY CEREAL. His films are not to be taken seriously. My dream FF would've come from Zemeckis or Spielberg. I would have loved to have seen Joe Johnston handling it or Mostow. But - if you think the director of TAXI is a worthy director for FANTASTIC FOUR - then, my friend, enjoy.
Hey, wait a minute! If Harry is up late and here and responding by Commando Cody	Jul 6th, 2005 04:48:42 AM
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON WITH JOHN CARTER OF MARS? Seriously, this a news site, so where's some good inside news on it already? Or should we assume now that Paramount has forbidden you from saying anything, and we have to turn to other movie sites for early dirt on the film? And by the way, let's be very, very, very, very, very clear on this, Harry: HUGH JACKMAN NEEDS TO BE JOHN CARTER.
Shame. by evergreen	Jul 6th, 2005 04:51:54 AM
I had such high hopes. I'll have to stick to the Corman-produced version version
Commando Cody by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:53:33 AM
As I said above several times. I kinda do like it, in spite of all the problems. Your 10 year old nephew will enjoy it, just as I know for a fact my 5 year old nephew will enjoy it. He won't know the difference between this Doom and the comic - he can't READ yet. But ya know what... It will get him INTERESTED in the Fantastic Four - the same way that Ralph Bakshi's LORD OF THE RINGS got me interested in LORD OF THE RINGS - though this isn't anywhere near as good as LORD OF THE RINGS by Bakshi. For one - the music by Ottman isn't anywhere near as cool as the score on LOTR.
Uh, Harry, drop the bombs and roll out... by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 04:54:25 AM
Mucking around in the talkbacks with frothing fanatics is just going to depress you.
Whoever this "Alba" is, I take it this is a repetition of that r by SalvatoreGravano	Jul 6th, 2005 04:54:37 AM
...with one "Richards, Denise" as a nuclear scientist. Or, as she would have spelled and pronounced it, "nucular" scientis.
Cody - Re: JOHN CARTER by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 04:58:01 AM
No - Paramount hasn't forbidden me from saying anything. There just isn't much to say at this point. We've got an 8 and a half minute teaser reel, tons of great design stuff, etc... right now the production is concentrating on nailing the script to make it the best damn film we can. That's in the hands of Ehren Krueger currently. More will be known, when it is known. -- As for Hugh - doesn't he look exactly like Frazetta's paintings of John Carter?
TeraBaap by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 05:06:58 AM
Actually - I've never proclaimed myself as a proper anything other than who I am. I also accepted an all expense private jet trip to new york with John McTiernan and tore ROLLERBALL to pieces. Actually - in regards to Tim Story - when Avi Arad was telling me that he'd found this brilliant director - and that his film TAXI was testing through the roof and was just great. I was excited. I saw BARBERSHOP and thought - ya know, if he applies this type of warmth and a good family sense of humor - then the FF will really feel right. Then I saw TAXI. And that film was just dreadful. What'd you think of TAXI? I don't know. I saw DOWN WITH LOVE and TAXI and I thought. Man, DOWN WITH LOVE was about 1000 times better. But ya know what, James Cameron directed PIRANHA 2, Spielberg directed ALWAYS and HOOK, Tim Burton directed PLANET OF THE APES - people have bad days. This film is VASTLY superior to TAXI, far worse than BARBERSHOP. So it is either the second best or second worst. Depending on your take.
Ringbearer9 by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 05:09:40 AM
Couldn't say there was anything I didn't like in WAR OF THE WORLDS, cuz I absolutely loved WAR OF THE WORLDS. I prefer the George Pal version - mainly because I love that ship design and the destruction of L.A. and the Church ending and the Atom Bomb drop. And "Everyone knows what the white flag means."
Headgeek... by Lethal Waffle	Jul 6th, 2005 05:15:44 AM
Hey Harry... glad to see you answering your "readers" in direct. I must say that I will side with you regarding "Armaggedon" - I love that film too... one of the best pure pop-corn summer fun films we had in the last 10 years... clearly one of the best of the Bruckheimer team. But "van Helsing"... there I totally hate that film, Sommers cannot handle SFX - he overuses them and therefore a Sommers version of FF4 would make me worried A LOT. Keep the good work - ignore the trash talk from some Talk Backers... I think it's amazing what you have achieved with Aintitcoolnews... you manage to live your dream and that's what counts. Although be careful - you have lost your enthusiasm from the beginning... I remember when i first started to read your website in 1997 you were reviewing more films, you were more enthusiastic about films... now you tend to be much more critical. This is a common pattern from anyone involve in the movie business it seems - you lose your "pure love" for films and get to see more and more the flaws...
Well, since your answering questions... by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 05:16:37 AM
1. Is Doom shown to be as intelligent as Reed Richards? 2. Are there any glimpses or flashbacks of Latveria? 3. Does Doom create any devices?4. Will we be getting a post count feature in talkback?
Caught the Pal version on terrestrial. by Trevor Goodchild	Jul 6th, 2005 05:17:08 AM
Hadn't seen it since I was under 12. Didn't realize how Christian it was. 'They've cut their own throats"
MARIA BELLO WAS NOT IN GODZILLA!!!! by Eugene O	Jul 6th, 2005 05:22:15 AM
You owe her an apology, Harry.
Anla'shok's questions about FF by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 05:23:55 AM
1. Not directly. You never really see Doom doing science - but he does have a space station and an independent private space shuttle and a billion dollar corporation. 2. No glimpses of Latveria - one fella mentions that perhaps he should return there for a while. And the mask he wears was presented to him by the peoples of Latveria. 3. Not at all. 4. I don't know what you mean. Folks - my problem with Doom isn't just the difference from the comic character - it's that what he is given to do in the film is pretty sparse, boring and uninteresting. He's Donald Trump with Electro's powers and metal skin. I just find that boring - and not necessarily as interesting as what they could have otherwise done with the character.
I may be wording it wrong, but it's a feature that let's by Anla'shok	Jul 6th, 2005 05:29:09 AM
That way when newbie freakazoids weasel their way over here to rag on you and your site they can be outed like the festering postules they are.
Tera by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 05:29:30 AM
I'm not going to go through the process with you, simply because detailing the process would cause more problems. Point is - we try to do our best. When you have assholes out there that try to prank on everyone - it makes it harder. They target more than AICN btw. Don Murphy is a lovely chap that tries to keep us all straight online, we all love him. When we discover a plant - we tend to remove the whole story with the talkback.
WTF!? HORRIBLE REVIEW! WHY? by stlfilmwire	Jul 6th, 2005 05:29:33 AM
He says everything about the movie is horrible, but then he goes on to say that people unfamiliar with The Fantastic Four will like it!?!? That makes no freaking sense. So people unfamiliar with The Fantastic Four will really dig a movie that you say has bad acting, bad FX and bad art direction? Whatever.
Maria Bello... um, oh yeah - did I mention - It is 5:22am by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 05:30:37 AM
heheh, Sorry Maria - you're lovely and talented. I owe you a back rub.
"[Maria Bello] I owe you a back rub." by Eugene O	Jul 6th, 2005 05:32:54 AM
Now that's more like it! :)
Fantastic is unfantastic, harry? by emeraldboy	Jul 6th, 2005 05:33:39 AM
Here are the reasons that I think people will see this movie. 1. since may 05, all we as cinemagoers have gotten are a string of expensive SFX driven movies with Dark stories. 2. Even though this is an expensive sfx driven movie it is about an american family who saves the world when a friend of theres goes all nasty. 3. America is a country of 300,000,000 so not everyone has access to the internet. Point being there will be some people who will not have read your review for this film. They will go to this film and make up thier own minds. Like I will. I am not even american. 5. hollywood does not make films with you in mind, or indeed or website, much and all as you wish that was the case. You may bitch and moan about how fantastic four turned but you are a not a teenager, harry, that is who the film was made for. 6. War of the worlds, may turn out to be the biggest film of the summer but that was no excuse for the apalling story that Josh Freidman wrote. Visually the film was a triumph but dear god that screenply yikes. At one point I could have sworn Cruise was reading dialouge off a cue-card: Thats weird, the cloud is moving towards....the...storm. Lastly did anybody notice in war of the worlds how stiff Cruise acting and the running, weird! Mrs and Mr was dreadful stuff. pitt and joile are both Liars! I feel sorry for Jen.
A Fantastic Four movie should be heavy science fiction. by Eugene O	Jul 6th, 2005 05:35:56 AM
This movie is anything but...
My 4 year old son can't wait by zekmoe	Jul 6th, 2005 05:42:25 AM
I think he will love it. I'll like it just as a popcorn action fest. I won't expect much and will be delighted. People liked the Tim Burton era batmans, and I hated them, but still watched. I'll take any comic/superhero/sci-fi movie I can get. Great ones will be in there. So will medeocre ones. But my son won't care. He'll be saying "Its clobbering time" while wearing his rubber fists and feet.
Harry: "But ya know what, James Cameron directed PIRANHA 2, Spie by Commando Cody	Jul 6th, 2005 05:47:59 AM
Harry, thanks for the John Carter update. Much appreciated as a lifelong Burroughs fan. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a great film and for Jackman to be cast since (as you mentioned) he really does just look like the picture perfect personification of the old kick ass Frazetta paintings that drew so many of us into the Burroughs books to begin with. As for your comment I cited above, let's keep one thing in mind. Of all the films you listed, Cameron's PIRANHA 2 (in my opinion) is the best of that lot. Why? One, because even as a low budget film it still feels Cameron-esque in tone and execution and is still Grade-B film fun, while the others are conversely A-level bores. And second, simply because Piranha 2 WAS a low budget, grade B film! Keep in mind for Piranha 2, you had Cameron at the very BEGINNING of his career whereas with Spielberg and HOOK and ALWAYS -- and likewise Burton with APES -- hey were on the opposite end of the scale. At the point they made those films, they were well INTO their careers and (and this is a big "and") they got all the money and had all the resources they needed to make those films. So to me, it isn't even fair to compare the "bad day" that Cameron had with PIRANAH 2 to the other films you listed. But, hey, we're talking about James Cameron, my favorite filmmaker so of course I'm gonna defend the guy!
The Incredibles was a great Cartoon. But just because there are by Mr. Profit	Jul 6th, 2005 05:51:12 AM
Many things will hurt this film. 1)Jessica Alba- It's common knowledge that she is not a great actress. She's not even a good actress. She is just smoking hot. Rachel McAdams who is on a roll should have been offered the role. 2)- The trailer looks like it shows the whole film. And when they showed the trailer yesterday at the theater an old man loudly said "That's not what happened!" when Doom was shown on the ship. But Harry's tastes may be a lot different than mine, he said Land of the Dead was a masterpiece when many of the critiques he leveled at the FF could be applied to LOTD. So I don't know what to think. The film is getting a great promo push. And at Toys R Us all the FF toys were there as soon as you walked in, with kids snatching up Thing hands. And it's probably the only film this summer that wont scare little kids so it will make some money. But a big time summer blockbuster? We wont know for sure until Monday.
The Doom Factor by halfmadjesus	Jul 6th, 2005 05:55:55 AM
It's just as I said a few weeks back: If Marvel/Fox/Tim Story fuck up Dr. Doom, then they've fucked up the movie - very simple. Marv Wolfman's got it right: Doom is the greatest, most complex villain in the history of comics. Yeah, the younger set likes their Venom and what-not, but for old schoolers, Doom's top-of-the-heap. It's arguable, but just barely. Magneto is a poor man's Dr. Doom. He didn't have much of a personality or backstory until Chris Claremont and other writers began infusing him with bits o'Doom. Anyway, the point is, they should've taken great care in adapting the good Doctor to screen. The kind of care Sam Raimi took in translating the Peter Parker/Spider-Man character - virtually the same as the comics, even the somewhat goofy bits. Why? Because the rest of the FF movie could be just as Harry describes it, but if they got Doom perfect, he'd be raving right now, that's why. It'd be a 25% cooler picture just for that. In comic book movies, villains are just as important as the heroes, and in the case of the FF/Doom, I'd say the villain is MORE important. Doom as an evil business tycoon/ex-boyfriend of Sue Storm greatly marginalizes, and I'd say castrates, a classic character in favor of a run-of-the-mill movie bad guy. By all accounts and appearances, it looks like Marvel and Fox aimed for and achieved mediocrity across the board with Fantastic Four. After seeing it, I might not want my money back, but I may never want to see it again, either. Can't say that prospect thrills me exactly.
Quit Trashing Jessica Alba by Itchy	Jul 6th, 2005 06:00:14 AM
I'm tired of all you hacks denegrating Jessica Alba's acting skills. She is actually a terrific actress. She needs to prove it to us by taking an Oscar worthy role - preferrably one of a young, drug addicted sex addict who spends an entire movie completely nude filming grapphic hardcore porn scenes to support her habit. Only then will her genius be recognized.
The Reviewer's Rights by LucienPierce	Jul 6th, 2005 06:01:44 AM
Armageddon was pretty cool, for what it was (Pearl Harbour just pips it as Bay's worst). I thoroughly enjoyed Van Helsing, for what it was (despite horrible casting for Dracula and his troupe) And Godzilla...well had they cast someone other than Broderick it could've been really cool. Anyway...to my point. Harry didn't enjoy FF and gave his opinion as such. That's what he does, as a reviewer he is just sharing his opinion of the film in his capacity. Doesn't mean I'm not gonna watch it. Just means he didn't like it. What I disagreed with was slagging a film before seeing it which happens on AICN more often than not (including talkbackers). Does going into a film hating it sour a film before seing it? Not always...I remember thinking Starship Troopers was going to be the biggest turd I'd ever seen but ended up loving it. It's not the greatest film but due to my low expectations it ended up being even better than had I been excited for it...While I doubt that FF could be better than Batman Begins I'm sure it'll be enjoyable.
Harry , dude forget the zombie gear contest, by BrainFart	Jul 6th, 2005 06:03:00 AM
keep the gear for yourself and raid sony to find out wtf is goin on with spiderman 3.
Books to adapt... by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 06:03:21 AM
Way off topic here but I was just thinking...what next? We seem to be running out of comic books to make into movies so let's branch out here into books that could/should/hopefully will be/please god don't let them fuck this up novels that might adapt well to film..."Snowcrash", "Ubik", "The Golden Compass", "Survivor", "Filth", "Neuromancer", "Et Tu, Babe", "Blood Meridian"...I know the list can go on and on but what do y'all want to see?
Leyner Needs to Make It to the Screen by docfalken	Jul 6th, 2005 06:08:49 AM
But there isn't a comedian out right now that could do his perversion justice.
I noticed the color thing to match the CGI too, but I thought WO by Mr. Profit	Jul 6th, 2005 06:11:23 AM
The way spielberg filmed the SFX was pretty smart. He understands the limits of CGI. Sure the film should have looked nicer, but I had no problems. WOTW is a great film with top notch SFX, good acting, tight direction, the Tim Robbins scene was a little over long. The happy ending was a little too cookie cutter, but that's Spielberg. One thing, the way the aliens died made sense. I dont know why people hated it. But man the film has potential for a sequel if the Aliens are able to discover Robitussin. But WOTW's ending got trashed unfairly.
DONT LISTEN TO HARRY,THIS MOVIE ROCKS!ITS PURE FUN!!! by Dave33	Jul 6th, 2005 06:17:39 AM
Most of the people who attended the test screenings LOVE the movie!.We all know that Harry has a personal agenda against the FF and Fox,screw him!!!!.Go to see the movie,you wont be dissapointed!
I won't pay to see this by Rupee88	Jul 6th, 2005 06:19:23 AM
This movie will make millions in profits, but I won't be contributing. It just encourages Hollywood to rape more beloved properties. This film has looked SO bad from the start and nothing has changed.
on Leyner... by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 06:26:54 AM
Leyner...Clive Owen? Dan Castellaneta? Adrian Brody? Kevin Spacey? Bruce Campbell? Jake Gyllenhall?
Dave33 by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 06:28:02 AM
LOVE is overstating it. Most of the people that saw it tonight - kinda liked it. With the hardcore geeks HATING it. And me - recognizing what I felt was terrible - and still sorta liking it. By no means am I telling anyone to stay away. See it. I want a 2nd, BETTER one. I have no personal agenda against Fox. I loved REVENGE OF THE SITH and thought MR & MRS SMITH was fun. I think their plans for X3 stink, that Tom Rothman is a mook that abuses his filmmakers - specifically the good geek ones. And that making an X3 film that doesn't yet have a solid script and then rushing it for release in MAY of next year with a director that isn't known for great character or action, but hilarity... is the wrong direction. That's not an agenda - that's an opinion. But - I guess if you love ELEKTRA, LXG and ALIEN VS PREDATOR - you're Rothman's buddy!
PLEASE direct yourselves over to IMDb.com... by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 06:29:02 AM
...where you may bear witness to some of the plantiest plant reviews of a movie (in the "User Comments" section) ever spawned. While I do think some of Harry's comments were on the nitpicky/petty side, a lot of them made sense. These reviews certainly don't help (neither does our new friend "Dave," who's either a plant or a toolbox). When will Fox learn their fucking lesson? It's almost as bad as those LXG "reviews" that were sent in to this site in 2003. "Sean Connery is a rock star." Mwahahaha.
You still up? by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 06:33:34 AM
Man Harry, it's 4:20am here in Oakland and your still awake there in Austin? I thought that only in Cali did we have the buds that keep you up all night!
Harry by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 06:34:38 AM
I have a couple of questions: you seem to have a few specific beats in mind both about the character of Doom and an origin story of the Fantastic Four that this movie needed to and didn't hit in order to be done "right." Let's say that Doom is not allowed to be the ruler of a fictional country called Latveria who has it out for the Fantastic Four. You might not agree that the public wouldn't buy that, but just humor me here. What would those beats be? Question Number Two: who's that old guy with the Thing Hands in your new GIF?
awful by kwisatzhaderach	Jul 6th, 2005 06:34:47 AM
This movie looks awful, i'll probably catch it on TV in five years or so. What a waste of time and money.
Pixar Got It Right by Evil Chicken	Jul 6th, 2005 06:40:25 AM
I believe that Harry is spot on with the Brad Bird analogy. If you want to see a great Fantastic Four movie rent the Incredibles. Pixar served the story where Fox has (as it appears to this fan-boy) cow towed to the marketing department. Here
I can't take it anymore!!!! by Shan	Jul 6th, 2005 06:43:00 AM
Disappoint(-ed). Two 'p's and one 's'! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! Write appoint first, note the two 'p's and then add the dis+.
"Fat Harry" animation theme courtesy of Captain Marvel by docfalken	Jul 6th, 2005 06:45:09 AM
http://www.wired.com/wired/ima ges.html?issue=13.07&topic=fan tastic&img=1
As for WotW's ending ... by Shan	Jul 6th, 2005 06:47:14 AM
... I think a lot of the gripes were not the whole bacteria angle from the book as ... a) someone who TC and DF meet at the very end who you wouldn't expect to see there because of THE WALL OF FIRE THEY walked into and maybe b) The alien war machines go from fully functional to doing the funky chicken walk and falling over without any transitional scene inbetween showing the start of the sickness. It was like a switch being flicked in terms of the change.
Auteur theory by keepcoolbutcare	Jul 6th, 2005 06:49:25 AM
Seems like the better supes movies tend to have a strong director behind them (Raimi, Nolan, Singer...I even dug A. Lee doing Hulk). So what does Fox do? They drive away two wunderkinds (Singer, Whedon) and end up with, to quote J. Hoberman (best film critic working today, someone who's "less than an auteur but not quite a hack" (Ratner), and Story, who hasn't yet done anything to warrant a franchise picture.
As for Fantastic Four ... by Shan	Jul 6th, 2005 06:50:34 AM
.. my WotW post I meant "the whole bacterial angle from the book as MUCH AS ... This Fantastic 4 Movie, the adverts look ok but it doesn't really leap out and grab me as of yet.
Brobdingnag by HEADGEEK	Jul 6th, 2005 07:14:02 AM
The Canadian Flag was in honor of CANADA DAY - JULY 1st. I put it up before I left for Minnesota. The night of July 3rd I got very drunk at a party at CONVERGENCE - a convention in Minneapolis. Was partying - enjoying the holiday weekend like all red-blooded Americans should. The next day I had to get up early (hung over) pack all my shit and get ready to sit at an airport for hours on end. Flew back to Austin, got back to my place and an internet connection at 1:25am July 5th. OOPS. The July 4th Harry head doesn't show a flag anyways - it shows Emmerich spaceship blowing my head up. Then wishes all a Happy Independence Day. Wish it would have gone up. I blame booze and girls in wonder woman and batgirl costumes.
The Fantastic Foursome by 1000yearFocker	Jul 6th, 2005 07:20:10 AM
...was a much better film
Brobdingnag is a RETARD by PacinoHatersGoHo	Jul 6th, 2005 07:21:12 AM
Harry, you shouldn't even address those sort of comments... if someone is displeased with the state of their country, whether it be political or social, then Brobdingnag advises you to leave rather than expressing your opinion and trying to have an influence on the country's future in a democratic fashion. I hope Brobdingnut's opinion is a minority one, or otherwise we are witnessing the transformation of the US into a Fascist state... oh wait, it's too late you say? Damn...
Fan boys criticise Harry... by dennett316	Jul 6th, 2005 07:37:46 AM

Were the special effects as bad as those in the King Kong traile by Atticus Finch	Jul 6th, 2005 07:37:51 AM
'Cause if so, then that is bad.
It won't surprise me if this movie makes more money than BAT by SpyGuy	Jul 6th, 2005 07:47:01 AM
I mean, INDEPENDENCE DAY made money, THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS made money, the first XXX film made money, and hell, even DODGEBALL made money. All four are stupid, STUPID films, but the general moviegoing public likes stupid films as long as they're flashy and geared toward the current MTV audience. After a long week stuck in cubicles or sitting at home playing their Sony PSPs, people want to shut their brains off for a couple of hours and FANTASTIC FOUR will service that need nicely.
sorry, pressed wrong button by dennett316	Jul 6th, 2005 07:49:17 AM
As I was saying, I loved how some of the fanboys slated Harry for saying the film ain't to great, only to say they hadn't seen it and were sure it would RAWK!!!! What the fuck is wrong with you people, see the film first then feel free to criticise someones OPINIONS, (note the word opinions, not order you must obey). Also, I don't know about anyone else, but if I go into a movie thinking it will suck I find myself being pleasently surprised more often than not. Having a love or particular affinity with a film sets up for more disappointment. Oh and brobdingnag, the love it or leave it shit is so old and redneck. Is your connection sheep powered? For the record, F4 looks sucky, but in an entertaining way, will wait for dvd.
If it makes more money than Begins I will have lost ALL hope by performingmonkey	Jul 6th, 2005 08:03:11 AM
Begins was made by talented people, unlike FF. However, no-one gives a fuck about that as long as the movie's promoted in a MTV style and looks like it contains effects like the Human Torch that the MTV fuckasses want to see. No-one went to see Begins (well, not no-one but...you know what I fucking mean) because it didn't look 'flashy' enough for most people. It looked too dark, deep and scary, something the MTV fuckasses don't want from a comic book movie. Spiderman was fairly deep in places, but the MTV fuckasses didn't care about that because of all the colorful CG and a villain with fucking tentacles. I definitely preferred Begins over the first Spiderman, and I believe that the second Batman could easily be what Spides 2 was to Spides 1. Anyway, it always strikes me as odd that many people (Harry included) think the the FF are the greatest comic book heroes ever and that it's fucking sacrilige to fuck with them in any way. News for people - the FF SUCK and they always have. Batman pisses all over them. So do Xmen. When I first heard that FF was being made I knew instantaneously what kind of a movie it was going to be - a shit one that was more geared toward people who watch the motherfucking OC than comic book fans. This is also what X3 is going to turn into unless a fucking miracle happens. I have faith in Supes because of Singer and because he's making it mostly for the right reasons and with the right frame of mind. If a director sets out to make something that's simply a mind-numbing summer movie with the sole intention of getting asses in seats then it will blow.
the second chance movement by liljuniorbrown	Jul 6th, 2005 08:15:10 AM
Seriously,there hasn't been one Marvel comic adapted to film recently that couldn't be fixed in a sequel with better writting and or direction.The problem is they stray light years away from the source material and when it stinks up the box office they pull the plug. Look how long it took them to make Batman Begins,had Spiderman ,Xmen,and there sequels not came out to huge numbers in the time since Batman and Robin we would have never seen another Batman movie.And who's fault would it have been?The god awful director who made a movie so far away from the comics it was unreal.I read the other day where they ae adapting The Punisher into a tv series....with just a handful of minor changes such as moving him to New York and making it soley about him and maybe one Microchip type sidekick, violently kicking criminal ass every week it could be a highly rated fan of the comics dream come true. All i'm saying is if Avi Arad or who ever is the head man at Marvel wants another Spiderman type success on there hands they have got to do what one person posted earlier and stick with strong directors who will go by the book when it comes to the source.With the exception of organic webbing,and the Green Goblins costume Spiderman the movie and the comic were almost exactly the same thing. I know i'm beating a dead horse but i just don't want heros like Daredevil ,Hulk,Elektra,Punisher,FF,or god forbid Ghost Rider to never be on the big screen again.Hell,the casting in these movies is almost completely dead on as well just hire comic geeks to direct the damn things.Bryan Singer ,please don't waste anytime bringing Superman Returns to theaters.Prove my point.
what's with the monkey comments? by Hiruu	Jul 6th, 2005 08:23:44 AM
Is that comment just random? Hmmm.....let me think?
what's with the monkey comments? by Hiruu	Jul 6th, 2005 08:23:47 AM
Is that comment just random? Hmmm.....let me think?
Harry, what did you think of the Oley Sassone/Roger Corman versi by Sith Witch	Jul 6th, 2005 08:24:19 AM
I actually enjoy it for what it is. How does the new one compare against this?
Good Lord by Mr. Shh	Jul 6th, 2005 08:31:56 AM
Not since Godzilla has a bigtime production generated so little interest in me. Poor casting (except for Chiklis), less-than-arousing trailer, another CGI-fest...no thanks. This criticism of Harry has gone on far enough. If you don't like his reviews, go to another site. Why don't you go read Roger Ebert, whose view of movies has been so off kilter that his "thumb" direction has little significance anymore (Usual Suspects 1 1/2 stars?). A few words about CGI: CGI works when it is used within the framework of the movie, not when it becomes the movie. Some dork on here said they had to do shots at night because the CGI was so bad. First of all, CGI is done AFTER filming, secondly, they wouldn't change the entire timelime of the film is the CGI looked bad, thirdly, you are an idiot. There are directors that use CGI as a selling point, then there are those that use it to help tell the story. Just because a movie doesn't have CGI crammed down your throat every frame doesn't mean it isn't good.
I'll just borrow the DVD by Drath	Jul 6th, 2005 08:32:52 AM
I'm kinda interested in seeing the Torch and the Thing, but it sounds like most of the movie is underwhelming and at just an hour and a half, it sounds like something made for the tweens with ADD and not for people who've been around for more than a quarter of a century.
In Other Words, It Sucked... by ZombieSolutions	Jul 6th, 2005 08:33:39 AM
the only question left -- is it Corman suck, or Daredevil/Elektra suck? at least the Corman suck was funny. Daredevil/Elektra was the very bowels of suck -- no funny, just stinky mounds of putrid suckitude.
Shan and a the WotW ending by DinoDeLaurentiis	Jul 6th, 2005 08:41:03 AM
Shan... you got it alla wrong. The whole point a the film was a to show alla the action from a the point of view of a the Tom Cruise guy. So, a) his son, he canna show up atta the end, because once Tommy, he let him go, then we don' know what a happen to him after that, see? So, he coulda escape, but we don' see it. Maybe he go over the hill, and then think "Holy Crappa! I'ma gettin' outta here!" anna he run for his a life. b) we don' getta to see the aliens come a down with a the sniffles, a 'cos alla that, it happen offa the camera... we see what a Tommy see, so, by a the time he gets to the Boston, that's a the first a time he gets to see that the big robot, she's a sick. How long would it take a you to walk through the Connecticut? Prolly a week or something, no? Maybe a longer time, iffa you hide from a the ETs. c) Tommy, he tell that cute little bambino Dakota to sing nota to cover the sound, but a to give her somethin' else a to focus on while a he choke a crap outta the other guy... we hear a the struggle, and you know she do too, but she gotta focus onna the something else. Holy crappa, you guys are like a the, how you say? so critical! You no like a the Kong CGI, but what else a you want? Rick Baker inna the suit? I sell it to you cheap, good price... Goddamn know-it-all kids with a your IPods... but the Fantastico Foursome? I gotta give a you that one, she's a lookin' to be a the stinker!
SUE STORM -- The Worst Hot Blonde Ever, and Here's Why... by ZombieSolutions	Jul 6th, 2005 08:43:08 AM
everyone knows that hot chicks should be SEEN and NOT HEARD ('cept for fake, muffled/stuffed moans of pleasure and sucking sounds). Sue Storm, on the other hand, is a hot chick who can be HEARD but NOT SEEN! wtf?!?! theres some kind of twisted punishement in there for Reed "Dr. J.R. Bob Dobbs" Richards.
Can't Wait To See This...This Winter Via NETFLIX OR... Fox, by jollydwarf	Jul 6th, 2005 08:50:32 AM
If this does one tenth as well as all of the fucking oppressive tie-in marketing suggests it should (and why did the condom and male enhancement drug industries NOT capitalize on the various powers of the team?), then when you greenlight the sequel, all you need to pitch is this highest of 'high concepts': FANTASTIC FOUR VS. THE FAB FIVE. I mean, take those 'snappy' dialogue exchanges to the next level, girlfriend! "Flame on!" "You said it, bitch!"
Here is how "Harry Math" works: by FluffyUnbound	Jul 6th, 2005 08:55:23 AM
However much Harry likes a film, divide that amount by ten and that's the enjoyment you'll get out of it. Armageddon is 1/10th as good as Harry's review of it, TPM, AOTC and ROTS were 1/10th as good as Harry's review of them, etc. What you CANNOT do - CANNOT EVEN CONSIDER DOING - is trying to reverse the Harry Math. You can't say, "Harry hated a film X amount, I will only hate it X/10." That's not how it works. The Harry Math only makes a film worse, and never, ever, ever better. If Harry says a film is really bad but he still liked it a little bit, you can be pretty sure it's the worst film you'll see this year. Find me a review of a film Harry hated or panned that was actually a really good film, and I'll believe that the Harry Math can be reversed. Until then, on the basis of this review it looks like FF should have been called "Catwoman 2: Doctor Doom Electric Boogaloo".
Cheers Fluffy by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 08:58:39 AM
It's no easy task making Ribbons laugh this early in the morning, but you have entertained Ribbons. "Harry Math." Ribbons shoot milk out of nose.
WOTW's Ending in a Nutshell -- Scientology Tom and Dakota F. by ZombieSolutions	Jul 6th, 2005 08:59:01 AM
wow. great movie, bad ending. the germ killa was fine (if rushed), but the "everything is AOK now!" fairy tale ending thing was abyssmal. blame "sentimental to a fault" Spielberg who just can't seem to be able to keep the darkness going. he always has to put the audiences to bed all snuggy and warm. too bad. said it before and i'll say it again -- it should've ended with Tom and Dakota standing in the middle of the ruined city, burning wrecks of Tripods around, the two of them survivors, but deeply traumatized, as the camera pulls back, you see construction and salvage teams starting the cleanup. cue voice over. roll credits. this way, you get the sense that something really, really bad and unerasable happened. people will put their lives back together, but they have been scarred, deeply, forever. the way it is in the film, it's as if nothing bad happened at all. too bad. not to Steve -- look, man, we can take it. bring on the dark and let it hover! life isn't about happy endings, it's about surviving bad endings and moving on. didn't Kubrick teach you anything?
Torch or Pyro? by Trevor Goodchild	Jul 6th, 2005 09:00:13 AM

Thing or Wolverine? by Trevor Goodchild	Jul 6th, 2005 09:00:54 AM

Maybe I was wrong by kadath	Jul 6th, 2005 09:01:06 AM
I thought this film would be an 'average' but enjoyable comic book movie. But if the Star Wars prequels' #1 cheerleader (hater of Blade 3, lover of Armageddon)hated it, it must be good, and could even be great! If you really want to see a top-notch property get ruined, wait for that John Carter movie...
Invisible Girl or Jean Grey? by Trevor Goodchild	Jul 6th, 2005 09:01:41 AM

the actors are all jerks... by G_R	Jul 6th, 2005 09:01:45 AM
...except for michael chiklis. i tried to meet them at an in store signing at a comic shop in NYC, and alba left after 2 minutes. i wrote about the whole experience and still managed to snag a bunch of pics. www.iconsoffright.com/FF.htm
RE: "Token Blach Guy in Space Camp" . . .that character is playe by krullboy	Jul 6th, 2005 09:02:55 AM
. . . and Joaquin Phoenix is a fat bastard that was billed as Lief Phoenix. I wanted him to die so bad in that movie, when Newton's Laws were about to anally fuck him while he was attempting to do a spacewalk.
Mr Fantastic or Proffessor X? by Trevor Goodchild	Jul 6th, 2005 09:03:00 AM

Where's Tim? by The True Priapic	Jul 6th, 2005 09:03:09 AM
So..exactly where was Tim at the end of the WOTW?Guess he doesn't have a place in this now reaquainted nuclear family?What was he fucking doing?Sitting in the house watching The Pitts?Oh..and jesus christ,that was one BOOOOORIIING film.The perf before us walked out in complete silence and the only voice heard was someone talking about the Kong trailer.Knew there was going to be a problem.Fanning is fucking creepy too,what was all that shit about crossing her arms?Spielberg trying to be cute in the midst of annhilation?That fucking HILARIOUS scene when Miranda Otto appears at the door got a bigger groan than when President Harrison Ford's pilot (Wiliam H.Macy?) said "It was you!!" to Viggo's brother from Indian Runner in that film with Ford as Prez of the ol' US.(And I was watching it in Boston so it wasn't english cynicism).Jesus,I was angry after that film.I'm guessing..and this is a push..that American viewers find more metaphor in it with Sept.11th?!Personally,taken as a summer action Blockbuster it fucking sucked.The aliens were FUCKING DREADFUL.God,Oh God..DREADFUL.Anyway... The FF.I was a MASSIVE fan of the Byrne era FF,I always remember that one page cliffhanger when Reed had tried to cure Ben and the machine blows up and through the mist Ben appears,with the line "I aint never gonna be the same again."AWESOME,true drama to a pre teen.I can remember playing hooky and travelling 40 miles to get the latest issues every month,the horror of finding a headline of "Byrne quits FF"(I think to go Hulking or was that from Alpha?).And I remember feeling gutted when Marvel had the whole anniversary issue deal (You remember around mutant massacre time,blah blah). Think it was FF 296 that was gonna have Mole man return,Ben go down to his lair as he was depressed and Byrne had hinted he would find his ultimate solution with something to do with Mole mans massive diamonds...and guess what?Byrne fucking did a runner through some politics at marvel leaving us with a truly dreadful double issue with a round-black-glasses wearing Grimm on the cover.Never found out what Byrne planned,one of the great Marvel mysteries to me...All this history I have(not as much as some,I grant)with FF,and I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS FILM.It looks shit,to waste Doom is herecy."THIS LAND IS MINE!!"that's how I feel about the big 4.I honestly thought that from the pre-film pics that they'd fucked up the torch and now it sounds like he's spot on.Oh,and the Thing strangely in that ad I saw with WOTW doesn't sound right?!Can't quite make out what's wrong.Harry's spot on with the Kirby look of Ben here,I think they'd probably thought they could deal with Ben's gradual transformation in sequels....Awwww,Fuck it.Let down with another summer...BRING ON WONKA!!!SAVE THIS SUMMER,DEPP!!! Oh,and by the way...we beat the fucking French to get the Olympics 2012.Hahahahahhah
meant "Token BLACK guy" by krullboy	Jul 6th, 2005 09:03:54 AM
sorry
Joaquin Phoenix-Joker. Eric Bana-American Oldboy remake. by Trevor Goodchild	Jul 6th, 2005 09:04:24 AM

Hmmm, sounds like the problems with this film are EXACTLY like t by mortsleam	Jul 6th, 2005 09:05:01 AM
Yet Harry loved that one. Hmmm, I say, hmmmm. By the by, Harry, lay off the exaggeration. If it looked like an episode of Seinfeld, it would be flat lit with floodlights and shot with three cameras on an obvious set in front of a live studio audience on video. And ya know, I'm just not getting that vibe from the promos. Of course it's not good. Fox fucked it over every chance they could get. But just because they didn't shoot your masturbatory fantasy of a 60's period piece come to life as directed by Peyton Reed doesn
Uhhh...kadath... by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 09:06:21 AM
'Blade 3' did suck. I don't know what the hell you saw in it besides for Jessica Biel. 'Armageddon,' for all of its awfulness, is ten times the movie that 'Blade: Trinity' is. Senseless Robert McKay-style references to children do not a good movie make.
Re: Running Out of the Comic Signing -- Put Yourself In Alba' by ZombieSolutions	Jul 6th, 2005 09:08:28 AM
if you were an abusrdly beautiful girl and star of numerous geekart films and tv series, the LAST PLACE ON EARTH you would want to be is surrounded by sweaty, obese, obsessed, starlet stalker comic book nerds in the summer. the stench alone could kill an army of yaks. and as if she's gonna shake hands! they're still all covered with dried sperm! yucko!
What's really sad is that Marv Wolfman has nothing better to by cookylamoo	Jul 6th, 2005 09:23:05 AM
They way I see it. Marv must have been on the toilet and Harry was blocking the door to the stall.
Here's why the WOTW ending is crap. It's stupidly illogi by Commando Cody	Jul 6th, 2005 09:23:53 AM
Seriously, what the hell? Let me get this straight: you're telling me that aliens who are so technologically advanced that they can create towering machines that can gyroscopically walk on 3 legs perfectly...aliens who are so technologically advanced they have high energy destro-rays that can take down entire buildings versus our pee shooter guns...aliens who have mastered force shields to immune themselves from armed attack...aliens who can travel in either an intergalactic, interplanetary or interdimensional way to get into their parked, buried tripod ship...aliens who preplanned and did this a "million years ago" or whenever (meaning they were brilliant then and thus should only be brighter NOW)...you're telling me that aliens who can do all that NEVER bothered to take a simple fucking ATMOSHPERIC SAMPLE of the place they intended to attack? You're telling me that BEFORE lightning bolting themselves to Earth, they DIDN'T bother to take a current, modern day sample of the very air they KNEW they'd be running around in? For crying out loud, technological "cavemen" that we are in comparison to them, even we know enough to do that with our own probes.
No spoiler warning on this article, but we get one for every oth by Cletus Van Damme	Jul 6th, 2005 09:30:52 AM

Re: Bullets in his pee pee, and Hello Harry by Bobo_Vision	Jul 6th, 2005 09:31:56 AM
My comment regarding bullets in his pee pee was posted on a thread regarding Superman Begins which his disappeared, where Harry mentioned that bullets were fired at the most sensitive part of his anatomy. Hi Harry. By the way, any insults I've posted in the past (or may post in the future) were all in jest. And FF looks like crap, but then, I didn't like Van Helsing, Armageddon, League of extraordinary gentlemen, XMen, the Star Wars prequels, and all the other CGI crapfests as of late. I probably should stop posting at this site. Hey Harry, by the way, what's your opinion of "In praise of older women"? Is that not the greatest movie of it's kind? A young Tom Berenger starting his sexual tour by boning 70's whore extraordinaire, Karen Black. Then he makes his way to others like Susan Strasberg and Helen Shaver. Harry, I'd like to see a special edition DVD with deleted scenes, possibly a commentary with the actresses talking about their experiences filming this movie, and perhaps their personal sexual experiences, and a documentary about the film, including it's controversy when released. I know you have contacts in the biz, pull some strings and make this happen Harry. Let them know the demand is out there.
Oh, and... by Bobo_Vision	Jul 6th, 2005 09:35:17 AM
...bullets were fired at the most sensitive part of Superman's anatomy, not Harry's.
that IMDB page is fucking hilarious... by TV CASUALTY	Jul 6th, 2005 09:53:32 AM
... what pathetic attempts at plant-ness... at least try a little subtletly, you morons.
Hypercriticism? by ejcarter9	Jul 6th, 2005 09:55:35 AM
Just tell me if this is the same kind of hypercriticism that proclaims Batman Begins as flawed or if it's a more general kind of criticism. Although I think the paragraph that says that if you love the FF you'll be disappointed is somewhat telling of that regard.
Jessica Biel is a naughty girl by The True Priapic	Jul 6th, 2005 09:58:12 AM
She was fucking dreadful in Blade 3.Nearly couldn't believe the lack of originality in the direction,was pissing myself when the obligatory shower scene came in.And I'm all for Jess in the buff but...for god's sake.The whole film was like a poor pilot for a tv show. Always fancied Charlize Theron as Sue Storm but don't agree with the Tim Robbins as Reed shtick. Anyone remember Johnny Storm having a Tasha Yar haircut?hahahaha the eighties were fucking awful. Lets be honest ...the fucking LAST comic you'd pick up these days is the FF.All comics are crap now.Is cerebus finished yet?If in doubt go back,re-read Watchmen,Dark Knight...(Oh Jeesus,don't get me started on that turd of a sequel)and pre -'85 marvel comics.Not the same league of creativity is it? Personally I have this horrible feeling I'm going to enjoy The Island.It's the only movie I expect fuck all from.Then again,the goddess Scarlett johansson is in it so there's something positive.She's damn tiny though,aint she?At least I don't have to put up with the Dunst pretending to be Mary Jane this year.And i think she's cute!!But absolutely no Mary Jane. Scarlett for Kitty Pryde.Dunst for the Traci Lords Story.'Nuff said
Alicia Masters was ALWAYS boring.Frankie Raye for me by The True Priapic	Jul 6th, 2005 10:11:08 AM
...and Alicia cheated on Ben with Johnny!Fucking bitch.Sue was never really hot.Horrible haircuts.especially that mullet when she got feminized and became a WOMAN. Personally always fancied Nova... Eat shit Alicia.Now she's fucking changed colour as well as lovers!!That girl has to be stopped
Re: FF Imdb reviews mostly Fox Plants or idiots by John-Locke	Jul 6th, 2005 10:22:41 AM
If you are registered with Imdb you can see the other comments/reviews users have made. click on most of the Uber positive reviews username profile and you'll probably discover one of the following. They have registered within the last couple of days/weeks. The Only other film they have talked about is Passion of the Christ?. They give uber positive reviews to Electra and FF but give Sin City/WOTW 0 out of 10, coach carter comes up a few times.Plants or retards, you decide.
Love the animation of Galactus tearing Arad a new one. by The Heathen	Jul 6th, 2005 10:27:11 AM
I won't see FF in theaters probably, and if I do, it won't be the first weekend. I was going to swear it off completely, but that was mainly due to my anger of X3. I would have loved to have seen the Peyton Reed version.
Another Off Topic WOTW Post... by ZombieSolutions	Jul 6th, 2005 10:28:51 AM
perhaps the germ came into being AFTER the aliens put their INVID battlesuits (aka Tripods) way down near the earth's core? or perhaps their germ-detecto gear didn't pick up the germ? or perhaps Spielberg was trying to tap into the collective fever-dreamlike paranoia and fear of the new McCarthyism (it used to be "commies," now it's terrorists) regardless of the narrative hole in logic re: turns out the aliens were really dumb. still, WOTW works really well as an allegory for the brutal imperialist occupation of Vietna uh, i mean, Iraq at the hands of Halliburton-Dubya's Psychotic Khristian Oil Empire of Death (which also lends credence to the idea that although the aliens are really tough and techno-advanced, in the end they are also really incredibly dumb and shortsighted -- sorta like the US Axis of Oil). Tom and Dakota are an Iraqi family, and the Tripods are the US Axis of Oil forces -- aka brutal technocrats with superior weaponry out to harvest resources and murder thousands upon thousands of innocent women and children. but, hey, like Tim Robbins says, "history has proven all occupations fail eventually." yep! / btw, too bad FF is going to suck. i've pretty much resigned myself to this fact.
And you rip the movie by AlwaysThere	Jul 6th, 2005 10:34:13 AM
Didn't seet this shit coming...
imdb comments are insulting by The Heathen	Jul 6th, 2005 10:34:28 AM
Fuck you Fox. "Beyond great!" Fuckers.
Coming From the same guy that loved 'LAME of the Dead'.. by Graphix67	Jul 6th, 2005 10:35:27 AM
So, from that review, Harry really, really hated it... BUT... it wasn't as bad as it could have been... SIGH... Real brave stance you took there Harry!
For those railing Harry, let me explain this in a larger context by genro	Jul 6th, 2005 10:36:02 AM
What Knowles is indirectly pointing out is the repeated failure of Marvel Films to live up to their potential, because Avi is a slave to his Toy Biz merchandise sales...as a producer, Arad deserves major kudos for being able to get a dozen green-lights in a row. That's impressive. The problem, is that he sacrifices so much in the process, instead of holding out for the best film possible...FOX was ready to write-off the FF which at the time, would have killed any chance of this film being made by any studio. For Marvel's fiscal lives, they can no longer go a year without a big film that can pimp toys via their ToyBiz branch. So Avi comprimised on a director, because TAXI was getting high scores in FOX's testing. As for the script, it was the grafting of the studio wanting a more X-Men/Spidey type model onto what they already had in place... Now, Avi is banking on a Hulk success -the studio loses on the film, but Marvel cleans up on merchandise, (Hulk Hands were the #1 selling toy for their year)...in a perfect world, Avi would actually give more of a shit about his properites and hold out for the best creative deal...for example, after The Incredibles came out, some reports talked of how pissed Avi was about the film because they stole FF's thunder. In truth, he was upset because if he had patience and let FF go into trunaround, the deal he could have gotten post-Incredibles would have been HUGE and a guarentee three-film greenlight. The Incredibles showed you can profit with a retro-superhero film, and every studio would have bowed at the opportunity to do a live-action Incredibles type film...this is the disappointment Harry talks about.
Plant or Not? Yoooooou Decide...... by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 10:40:25 AM
Here's a mere sample of the umm, foliage on display over at IMDb.com. Enjoy: ------------ "I've been a huge Fantastic Four fan ever since I was a kid
Thats odd... by FloppyStumps	Jul 6th, 2005 10:48:04 AM
The first "first" I ever got was for something I DIDNT post on. I posted my "Ahem" topic for the Charlie and the Choc thing, but it never went through. I actually hate the sight of this film, and wish that it would've never been made. Just to clarify. Oh well, a first is a first.
Sorry by Ribbons	Jul 6th, 2005 10:48:52 AM
Sorry about getting carried away with the whole 'plant' thing. And I know they don't care that we know. But it's just so weird how hyperbolic they're being. It's like they're not even trying to sound unbiased.
Okay, Harry... by Childe Roland	Jul 6th, 2005 10:49:30 AM
...since you're actually posting in this talkback, I'll address you directly instead of just critiquing your critique. I'm not sure whether it was my posts in other FF talkbacks (and thank you for noticing those, Ribbons) or if you actually dug up some old FF comics, but you seem to have come to the correct realization that The Thing was handled pretty well in this movie. So I have to wonder how, while doing whatever research led you to this conclusion, you missed the fact that Sue Storm started out as the Invisible GIRL. Again, this is an origin movie, and having her seem girlish and relatively ineffectual would be pretty consistent with the way she was played in the books at that point, wouldn't it? In fact, so would having all of the characters (with the exception of, perhaps, Doom) spout sheesy, punny dialogue. I understand your problems with the Doom character and the way he was handled. Hell, I share those problems. But the very fact that they so badly mishandled the villain - arguably the most important character in any movie - and still managed to make the movie entertaining overall should say something more than "shit-encrusted diamond" about the film as a whole, shouldn't it? I think that, deep down, you're still wanting to hate this movie (perhaps to uphold some measure of "I told you so" cred) despite the fact that you obviously enjoyed multiple aspects of it. Try divorcing yourself from your preconceived (and, in some cases, erroneous) notions of what the FF are supposed to be and look back at the film on its own merits, without that lexicon of information and misinformation. Was it watchable? Did parts make you tingle in funny places? I know there's a mostly objective (with Geek value added) critic in there somewhere beneath the elitist Comic Book Guy parody of a persona that sometimes dominates your reviews. Let him out so he can enjoy some of the respect he deserves.
You think that's a plant, Ribbons? This guy is a redwood co by FluffyUnbound	Jul 6th, 2005 11:06:26 AM
Review by "Big Unit": "An outstanding effort, Marvel does it again! This movie was fun yet it had grit, heart, and amazing action. The characters, effects, and story were all beyond great. Director Tim Story displays an amazing vision. He manages to keep the story intense and flowing as all the while it builds for what is probably the greatest showdown in comic adaptation film history. Spider-Man vs Doc Ock has nothing on this showdown. Story also manages to deliver a little bit of everything
Childe/imdb by The True Priapic	Jul 6th, 2005 11:13:28 AM
Childe,I think the main problem is the 'missed opportunity' situation.Essentially,there 9;s no need to begin the film as the comics do.The 'Girl/Woman' thing just doesn't matter,it's just that fans of the comic books wanted a film with at least a little depth added with the latent humour of the characters.Most of the talkbacks I see here that ring true of real fan feeling is one of sadness that something so cool is now a fucking pepsi max advert with a silly villian(something Doom really wasn't overall comic-wise).Ah well.... Now here's the thing where the anger comes from..the imdb reviews are astonishing.Absolutely astonishing.This is fox's Damage Limitation plan...Jesus Christ you've got to take a look to believe the shit on this thing.WOTW 0 out of 10??I didn't like that piece of shit but it's worthy of a 5 or so for the fucking cash plowed into the hype machine.Muggin's malone here bought it and saw it!! Oh,and Land of the Dead must be the most Zombie free Romero film I've ever seen and ...yup....BORING.Guess who gets Hopper...oooh,oooh it wouldn't be cholo and Big daddy would it?Am a dead movie fan but this was poooor.Maybe repeat viewing on Duh-vu-duh. Oh and by the way everyone...I think Harry's given up......... I'm going to watch those cunts on Big Brother UK.Bunch of cunts the lot of them.Check it out american friends,see why we english hate ourselves.The countrys in a fucked state...the olympics 2012 is going to be a joke.The fucking underground doesn't work at the best of times and the night buses?Yeah,riiiiiigghht...I live in London and I'M FUCKING NOT GOING TO USE 'EM!! Then again,at least Paris didn't win...hahahahaha.Shave those armpits,ladies.hahahahah
So much happens while I sleep... by MasterWhedon	Jul 6th, 2005 11:28:50 AM
I have a feeling I'm going to completely agree with Harry's review. I've been giving the film the benefit of the doubt, but nothing I've seen makes me get lost in the excitement the way I did for ROTS, Batman Begins or WOTW. It looks like a bland movie that I'll eventually own on DVD. And PS, I own the Criterion Collection version of Armageddon.
And HEADGEEK, sir... by MasterWhedon	Jul 6th, 2005 11:31:28 AM
...if it wouldn't be too much trouble--if say this with a great deal of respect for the site and (most of) your reviews--could you PLEASE have someone do a once-over on your reviews to touch up your grammar? I know it's a stupid, midly-pretentious nitpick, but some of those sentences up above are just clusterfucks that should've been caught.
Of course, I need someone to touch up mine too... by MasterWhedon	Jul 6th, 2005 11:33:44 AM
...as evidenced by my last post with the "if say" and the "midly-pretentious." Just saying, I don't get my quotes put on the covers and booklets of DVDs. Not yet, at least.
On imdb... by Childe Roland	Jul 6th, 2005 11:38:12 AM
...I see your point, Priapic. Those are pretty shameless plants, but not much worse than Harry's needlessly negative spin on what seems to be a movie he enjoyed seeing. Not having seen the movie yet, and basing my critique of his critique solely on my experience of other comic movies and the FF comic books I've read (origin to mid-1990s), I find his bashing of Alba's performance mind boggling. He's criticizing her for things the writers didn't give her character. There isn't one comment on her actual performance in his review. Even his harp on the "fully invisible" elements of her character are based on what he would have rather seen them do (and he seems pretty pleased with the depiction of her force field powers). Harry's take on Doom, I get - and I don't doubt I'll share it after reading a number of more objective reviews (despite thoroughly enjoying McMahon in Nip/Tuck). But Harry's criticisms of the film's production values seem like selective reaches. What he describes in terms of sets and cinematography sounded largely like scenes and sequences from the first X-Men film, which fans largely embraced despite some comic inconsistencies and less-than-fully-realized characters (Cyclops, anyone?). The difference here is that Harry came

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FANTASTIC FOUR (2005) review