Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Vern, Ghostboy and bunch of others take a look at BATMAN BEGINS!

Vern by Wonderboys	Jun 9th, 2005 04:23:42 AM
(name's Bruce Wayne, I think)... STUPID SNOB
Only on this site.... by RighteousBrother	Jun 9th, 2005 04:26:09 AM
would they use 'On Deadly Ground' as an example of Michael Caine's work.
Vern as movie must be made. MUST BE MADE! by Atropos	Jun 9th, 2005 04:27:10 AM
Go Vern!!! Hope that movie gets made dude, been reading your sight for years now. Still think you should write a book in the vein of your "Tells-it-likes-it-is" columns though, even think I emailed you about it once upon a time when I had an AOL account. At least self-publish the columns-man, It'll go right next on my bookshelf next to '5 on the outside'...
I'm actually seeing this movie at midnight next tuesday by spectrebeeyatch	Jun 9th, 2005 04:27:46 AM
Long review, skimmed a lot of it
Michael Caine (ON DEADLY GROUND) by CuervoJones	Jun 9th, 2005 04:37:20 AM
hahaha, bravo!
As always, Vern... by DocPazuzu	Jun 9th, 2005 04:40:41 AM
...top-notch and hilarious. "Pee Wee's Baadasssss Song" alone is going to keep me smiling all day.
Vern, that was gold, but... by AeroB	Jun 9th, 2005 04:56:02 AM
...did you like the movie, or what? Because I kinda got the impression that you did, but your review was so joke-filled that I couldn't really tell all that well when you were serious and when you were screwing with us for a laugh.
Vern's integrity... by Eugene O	Jun 9th, 2005 05:17:27 AM
Vern, NO ONE posts spoiler warnings like you! You are a true professional when it comes to the writing of...err, words. Personally, I don't care about spoilers. Seems like a sort of cry-baby move to whine because something you are reading SUDDENLY revealed something you didn't want to know---when all you need to do is close your eyes or look away (or hit the "back" button on the keyboard). But, okay, some people build up a momentum when they are reading and-- "Look, Ma! No hands!"-- they just can't help themselves. Anyway, nice review. I hope you become filthy rich from The Vern Movie. I have one of your t-shirts, too. Actually, two, too. Also.
I am so sorry.... by Drworm2002	Jun 9th, 2005 05:45:56 AM
...but that first review fucking sucks. hell Mien Kemp was a better read. other then that...I can't wait to see this flick
"Mien Kemp"... by DocPazuzu	Jun 9th, 2005 06:31:51 AM
...pales in comparison to that literary work of genius, "Mink Shemp." Also, let us not forget the unassailable merits of "Mint Shrimp" and "Ming Krump."
Glad that Vern and Ghostboy gives some positive credits to Hulk. by CurryIce	Jun 9th, 2005 06:46:51 AM

Where's Moriarty's X-Men 3 script review? by ZakChase	Jun 9th, 2005 06:50:11 AM
Weren't we promised that like a week and a half ago? I'm hankerin' to read that.
Why do you guys think this film will be any good? Batman Begins by Thayden Ozma	Jun 9th, 2005 06:59:41 AM
Haven't you been reading my posts? Etley Oge, fuck yeah Batman knows your Mom! My favorite comic character is unleashed in just a very short amount of time. It's about time people saw what Batman was all about, the Batman that we all knew existed, but some failed to see. Beatin' up dudes is hella cool, especially when Batman is doing it. Then again there really isn't much that Batman does that isn't cool, except for the fact that he can't seem to keep a girl around even with all his cash. I mean I've seen some ladies with the most God Awuful scumbags in the world and you can't tell me if Anna Nichole married Emperor Palpatine for his money that some girl can't accept a schitzophrenic, crime-fighting owner of his own company? I mean, does the guy smell? He looks clean? Oh well, at least he's always got driving fast and beating up dudes that should have been beaten up years before he got to thems asses to fall back on when he thinks of just how lonely he is. But shit if I had those abs I'd never be lonely, I'd just draw faces on them and name them different eccentric friends and make them talk with my muscles. Who needs more? -Az
DEAD END cowl by BranMakMorn	Jun 9th, 2005 07:13:37 AM
The simplest way to distance the new film from the mess of the other Bat films was to use the BATMAN DEAD END cowl and mask. A simple choice and instantly tells the general audience that this Batman is a different take.
"I can count exactly three people I could fire right now" by I Dunno	Jun 9th, 2005 07:32:55 AM
Die, Hollywood scum! Anyway, it all sounds pretty good except the action scenes. I can't stand fight scenes where the action is too close up and blurry with Mtv-on-crack editing. Why do some directors insist on doing that?
http://www.petitiononline.com/qp 2d1234/petition.html by RIVERO	Jun 9th, 2005 07:47:17 AM
http://www.petitiononline.com/ qp2d1234/petition.html
by Rhett Butler	Jun 9th, 2005 08:12:37 AM
Ras Al Ghul was Denny ONeil
Rivero by DocPazuzu	Jun 9th, 2005 08:23:13 AM
You sad, sad anorak....
To : RIVERO by CurryIce	Jun 9th, 2005 08:52:31 AM
. . .
Hey CurryIce by DocPazuzu	Jun 9th, 2005 08:56:50 AM
Did you ever get your hands on the unrated Blade Runner? I seem to recall you were looking for it.
I believe Ras Al Ghul was... by Thayden Ozma	Jun 9th, 2005 08:58:25 AM
Egyptian originally? Perhaps, it's been a while. I can forgive this in the movie for the subtle fact that Ken Wantanabe should be in as many roles as fucking humanly possible, he commands your attention and gives off a presence that, well maybe Alec Guiness did in his day? He's up there with Christopher Lee for me in quality of actors out there today. -Az
Shaky-cam action by BillEmic	Jun 9th, 2005 09:09:48 AM
All this take about how lame the action sequences are has me worried. Yeah, I know the movie isn't about fights but, come on. We all saw how bad-ass Christian Bale was in "Equilibrium" - and those fights showed everything. Why skimp out in a friggin' Batman movie? This sucks.
Spider-Man ---> Kryptonite? by The Pusher	Jun 9th, 2005 09:18:00 AM
Is that one guy stoned? I thought Superman's weakness was about as common knowledge as the Skywalker family.
Vern and people who just don't get it by RodneyOz	Jun 9th, 2005 09:25:17 AM
So embarassing to post publicly and reveal that you didn't get the joke of Vern pretending not to be sure of the name Bruce Wayne, or that kryptonite is Superman's weakness... read a few more of the man's reviews, learn to hear his voice, and it will all make sense. Pearls before swine, dudes...
Daredevil by beelkay	Jun 9th, 2005 09:27:54 AM
I like Daredevil's suit better than the Superman Returns one. What is up with that!?
Shaky cams by beelkay	Jun 9th, 2005 09:32:13 AM
I hated the shakiness of The Bourne Supremacy...it gave me a headache. I hope BB isn't like that. Also, I seem to recall someone saying that Batman's fights aren't shot with the idea of showing what he's doing, but quick and dirty and closeup to make it scarier or something.
"Vern and people who just don't get it" by DocPazuzu	Jun 9th, 2005 09:37:12 AM
It's the same type of clueless twats who didn't get Mark Twain's masterful spiel in the latest V for Vendetta talkback. The mind boggles at the utter lack of subtlety in the lives these people lead.
Cyrus by guerillatokyo	Jun 9th, 2005 10:04:55 AM
His "review" was one of the worst I've ever read on this site.
It's going to split audiences by AlwaysThere	Jun 9th, 2005 11:06:06 AM
Begins will most likely fare better with the general public than The Hulk did, but it wont pass with flying colors.
isn't that the guy that Ernest talked to? by oisin5199	Jun 9th, 2005 11:34:17 AM
Can't understand why people like this guy Vern's reviews. I "got" that he's being sarcastic. But it's not funny, comes off as pretty condescending and it's also pretty annoying when you want to actually read a review and not someone who's just being a smartass. That's what talkbacks are for.
Where's Moviemack's review? by adambalm	Jun 9th, 2005 11:34:43 AM

Well, about the choppy edited action scenes... by JohnnyTremaine	Jun 9th, 2005 12:14:17 PM
few directors now really can direct action. Most of the guys from the 40's though, did: like Mike Curtiz, Johns Ford and Houston, etc. Another reason that action is filmed close and tight is due to an actor's lack of physical ability, wether that is fighting skill or just plain coordination. Who knows, as good an actor as Mr. Bale is, for all we know he may have the physical grace of Archie Bunker.
Hulk is really not a bad film. by DerLanghaarige	Jun 9th, 2005 01:13:01 PM
I just saw it again yesterday. I liked it more than the first time (Okay, the ending still sucks). PS: Is Moviemack dead?
To AeroB and Sworn 42 Enemy by Vern	Jun 9th, 2005 02:11:40 PM
Aero: Yes I liked the movie alot, sorry if it wasn't clear. I made fun of its weaknesses to deflate the other reviews I've seen which are a bit of the old internet hyper-bully and maybe setting some people up for disappointment. But it was a good batman picture and like I said it looks like most of the fans will enjoy it in my opinion. Sworn 42 Enemy: Who knows but my guess is if it ever happened then yes, it would be a small independent type picture. I know what you mean, but the script is funny and I trust this guy knows what he's doing. Still, I was assured from the beginning that if I don't like it I can give it a merciless beating like I would any other movie. Except this time it's personal. Anyway thanks for your concern, I appreciate it. your friend Vern
Anyone who refers to Batman as a "comic strip" has no business r by Stan Gable	Jun 9th, 2005 02:51:42 PM
Garfield was a comic strip movie. When they finally satisfy Vern's wet dream and make a Family Circus movie, that will be a comic strip movie. Get it straight.
Is Cillian Murphy in this movie for more than 5 minutes? by 007-11	Jun 9th, 2005 03:12:55 PM
Because NO ONE seems to have shit to say about him.
I'm getting worried by BillEmic	Jun 9th, 2005 03:22:44 PM
I went from being cautiously optimistic about this movie to being ecstatic after I saw some of the recent trailers. Then Mori and Harry's reviews got me even more excited, thinking that this was going to be the best Batman yet. Now after this latest batch of reviews, I'm feeling pretty much deflated. I know that the fighting isn't the most important part but the action is always a big draw in a superhero flick - and if these fights are as poorly shot as those in the Steven Seagal direct-to-DVD movies Vern reviews...well, that just sucks. I mean, come on: Jackie Chan is motherfuckin fifty years-old and he's not hiding anything in the new Police Story movie. He shows every move, every angle; the fights look damn good and you can tell that he's putting in as much effort as he can at his age. Now Christian Bale is in his prime, ripped to shreds, and we KNOW he can fight (Equilibrium) - but they're still filming these fight scenes with a jerky hand-held camera? Bullshit. It's this kind of direction that ruined what should have been a historic battle between Jet Li and Mark Dacascos in "Cradle to the Grave". I wish directors would learn...there's no shame in letting an AD film a fight scene for you if the final product looks good. I wonder if they've grounded this film too much in reality and some years for now we'll look back and fondly remember Burton's gothic fantasy.
Funny shit, Vern by RaulMonkey	Jun 9th, 2005 04:08:06 PM
I laughed hardest at the movies in brackets after Bale, Neeson and Caine.
i always get a kick... by DAS JANKE	Jun 9th, 2005 04:43:22 PM
out of people referencing actors' worst roles. "The cast is great, especially Bale (SHAFT), Liam Neeson (DARKMAN) and Michael Caine (ON DEADLY GROUND)."
Vern's brackets by adambalm	Jun 9th, 2005 04:47:41 PM
Yeah, I didn't find Vern's review particularly funny, but for some reason that part had me rolling on the floor. Comedic gold.
Cheers to the British by Eldrice	Jun 9th, 2005 06:23:21 PM
They're the only ones who can do decent fantasy, even something as quintessentially American as Batman.
time to pinch a loaf by igotbigballs	Jun 9th, 2005 06:44:45 PM
I will read this after next week, for now I need to go drop the browns off at the superbowl
"Before the Opera Thomas Wayne shows Bruce the infamous pearl ne by sleepyhead	Jun 9th, 2005 06:49:28 PM
This will get lots of laughs over in Britain.
No wonder I go to movies by suddendeath	Jun 9th, 2005 07:05:38 PM
I had a hard time reading those super long reviews. I think everyone should preface their review with: Short Story: I like it or I hate it. I'm such a lazy bastard. But that's exactly what a movie goer really is... aren't we?
El Underlingo, I can count one dirty jew that I can fire right by kimbo	Jun 9th, 2005 07:27:48 PM
some one ought to take you out in the back and beat you like they use to in grade school for wearing pink.
DocPazuzu by CurryIce	Jun 9th, 2005 07:52:15 PM
LOL, that was you? Funny that you remember my name. Well, i don't really care anymore how many cuts there are but i really want to have the theatrical, director's and the new cut(was it a LD cut? is this the unrated cut you're talking about? don't know anymore) in one package! I never bought a BR DVD(still have my old VHS tapes of the theatrical and Director's Cut) I still hope that Ridley Scott or whover is going to release a "monster" DVD edition with all three versions or later on HD-DVD or BluRay. If there are even more edited editions then i'm not really that interested 'cause i'm sure that they're not really something life changing...I would be even happy enough to have the theatrical AND the Director's Cut in one package.
Stan Gable by Bryan	Jun 9th, 2005 11:03:00 PM
Anyone who refers to Family Circus as a "comic strip" has no business writing talkbacks. Garfield is a comic strip. Family Circus is a one panel cartoon like The Far Side or Marmaduke. To call one circle with a sentence a "strip" would be idiotic. Get it straight. And don't correct other people unless you have accurate information, which you do not.
reinvented action? by Vern	Jun 9th, 2005 11:11:25 PM
Christian Bale reinvented action? What did he invent it to? How come nobody told me this? I better watch that silly looking movie.
Yeah, Kurt Wimmer for 1st A.D. on "Batman Continues." by Christopher3	Jun 9th, 2005 11:53:52 PM
And, uh, I'll give Katie Holmes a pearl necklace if she wants it.
Hey CurryIce by DocPazuzu	Jun 10th, 2005 02:50:00 AM
There's a torrented laserdisc rip DVD of the unrated cut (with voiceover) here: www.myspleen.net . Last I heard, the guy who owns the rights to this cut won't allow it to be released officially anymore because of personal differences with Scott. This might be your only chance.
nintendo by whatyoufear	Jun 10th, 2005 03:59:27 AM
those 150 million dollars are tightly packed inside the back of batman's neck. BAT-TURN RETURNS.
To DocPazuzu: by CurryIce	Jun 10th, 2005 06:51:08 AM
DocPazuzu thx for your advices but i'm not a big torrent fan but I'll try to get it in any way when i've the time and energy for it (`cough
Nintendo: "Equilibrium is not without its flaws." by CurryIce	Jun 10th, 2005 07:03:56 AM
thx for clarifying that 'cause i was about to flame you for praising Equilibrium ^^. Well i thought it had a pretty direct-to-video(perhaps 'cause of low budget)touch on it and was pretty lame overall but the Gun-Kata thing(i still don't know how to spell it) was pretty exciting. Heard that there are actually people who tries to realize this special martial arts in real life (good luck for that ;-)) Nevertheless i think with Equilibrium Wimmer proved he has some potential(at least technically) and after Ultraviolet perhaps he get's a Hollywood budget for something big. If Paul W.S. Anderson and Stephen Summers are allowed to make big budget movies then why not Kurt Wimmer. Perhaps he can deliver better movies than them.
"Before the Opera Thomas Wayne shows Bruce the infamous pearl ne by Childe Roland	Jun 10th, 2005 10:08:01 AM
Well no wonder the boy grows up to dress like a bat and beat the piss out of people! I still have nightmares about the time I accidentally walked in on mom and dad as a tot. To have the old man demonstrate the way he plans to dot mom's neckline would be enough to push anyone over the edge. Oh... and moviemack's next post in a Batman Begins talkback will fixate on the tight, choppily cut fight scenes. You don't have to be a Dark Knight Detective or a Middle Eastern Wizard to piece that one together.
The power of Gun-Kata is insignificant... by DocPazuzu	Jun 10th, 2005 10:31:52 AM
...next to the might of Gym-Kata!
"Garfield is a comic strip. Family Circus is a one panel cartoon by I Dunno	Jun 11th, 2005 07:49:05 AM
You sound like Brody in Mallrats arguing that the separate cookie store is not part of the food court.
Equilibrium by Thayden Ozma	Jun 11th, 2005 08:09:32 AM
Sure it was flawed, but there were moments that truly inspired from that flick. At least enough to get you all talking about it. Sometimes a great idea doesn't get the biggest budget and Equilibrium was not a small idea. - Az
Nintendo, take your meds; we don't all have the spare time t by JohnnyTremaine	Jun 12th, 2005 08:47:35 PM
And I'm sure you're correct in that Mr. Bale is a physically gifted young man. I'll take your word for it. Oh, and I can bet that most on these boards would agree that John Ford, John Houston and Mike Curtiz in their primes could out-direct the Kurt Wimmer's of today with a blindfold, earplugs, and both hands tied behind their backs.
Congrats Vern, don't forget the little people... by sTalking_Goat	Jun 15th, 2005 01:24:50 PM
Think they could get The Bruce to play you? I'd write him a letter if you like. Now get back to work on the Seagal book dammit.
I hope it's good. by comealive1288	Jun 16th, 2005 12:18:31 PM
Can't get to see it until Friday but I hope that Caine delivers.
hey by ipolo	Aug 24th, 2006 02:49:16 AM
this thing still up?

Talkbacks

Vern, Ghostboy and bunch of others take a look at BATMAN BEGINS!

User login

Quick Talkback

Talkbacks