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AICN COMICS! @$$Holes At Christmastime!!

merry christmas to you too by stackpointer	Dec 11th, 2003 06:59:53 AM
I hate first posters
Merry Christmas, @$$holes... by Dog Of Mystery	Dec 11th, 2003 07:16:48 AM
I need to get out and buy more comics. I suck.
Nice one by Silver_Joo	Dec 11th, 2003 07:57:05 AM
A$$Holes, you are one of the few reasons to come to this site. What do any of you think of NYX?
That line from Ultimate Cap was the best thing I've read in mont by vikingkitty	Dec 11th, 2003 08:16:27 AM
In fact, it made me want to go out and buy three or four more of the issues, just to show my support for a comic book character that sounds like an actual human being, a proud AMERICAN human being at that. Sure, that kind of self-assurance and positive "can do" attitude is scary to liberals, but so what?
Typical AICN Hulk "review" by Sith42	Dec 11th, 2003 08:41:00 AM
Bitchbitchbitch..where's the Hulk?.. bitchbitchbitch..Hulk appearance for the entire book doing "Hulk" things.. cue crickets.. what a great waste of space.. Regardless, funny how the cliche "it's no wonder that women aren't into comics" arguement is touted, while doing the best "Comic Book Guy" imitation.. the irony was not lost, honestly.
The Hulk review is right by AlgertMopper	Dec 11th, 2003 09:47:31 AM
this run on hulk is boring as al hell, and I'm sorry, when you go 2 issues without Hulk being in it, it shouldn't be called Hulk
Ultimate Cap's line was awesome! by RickP66	Dec 11th, 2003 09:55:12 AM
I am far from a liberal and I find the anti-conservative, anti-American rhetoric in the Ultimates distasteful, but that line by Cap when fighting the Skrull was The Best Comic Book Line Ever. Miller probably meant it as a slam at Americans, but it was an incredibly cool line and if he meant it that way, it had the opposite effect he intended. I do agree that the bit with the soldier shoving the kid away was stupid, blatantly and distastefully anti-military and anti-American.
Happy Holidays @$$holes! by Psynapse	Dec 11th, 2003 11:33:11 AM
Thanks for another fun year of reviews and rants. May the best be yours this season. Oh and Sith42? That thwapping sound you keep hearing is me bitch-slapping your momma for putting such an ill-mannered and utterly pedantic boob into this world. I've tasted cheeses sharper than that ghetto excuse you call wit, fool.
Ultimates by MasterWerk	Dec 11th, 2003 11:34:14 AM
i'm pretty conservative these days but i'm really not offended by the Ultimates. I can see Miller's left leanings and how he just wants to rip into the military but i think he really does keep it to a minimum. Still one of my favorite comics despite the horrible schedule and the hit or miss issues.
What is with the Marvel Bashing by Nincumpoop	Dec 11th, 2003 11:58:35 AM
I know a lot of reviewers on this site tend to bash Marvel for their pacing and lack of traditional comic book storytelling, but fact of the matter they seem to be the ones that are putting out the most successful written books. Their book relies far more on storytelling than art, unlike most DC lately. (Except for Teen Titans, all around good book that surprised me.) Really I love entertainment and enjoy reading this site but at times I feel you reviewers are a little overbalanced on your reviews. Millar has revolutionized the Avengers hands down done it is a great book even if it comes out once a year. At least you recognized Ultimate spider-man. Oh and Bug Captain America had Fights introduced characters and emoting art, I thought it was great and your opinion maybe your own but I definitely feel your way off on this one.
Ultimates issue 12 was great by Gustav Niemann	Dec 11th, 2003 12:04:41 PM
Sure the characterizations are pretty skewed but I love reading the Ultimates. It's just so over the top and ridiculous that it appeals to the same part of me that enjoys Verhoeven's Robocop. Like the Cap line in the latest issue, you have to laugh at it. It really was wonderfully outrageous. And Tony Stark puking in his helmet and all that? Jeez, that was fucking cool too. And not just because it was ridiculous and undermined the heroism of Tony Stark's character (though it's always fun to see stuff like that that you know will really upset hardcore geeks who need to get out more) but because it really provided me with perspective and an awareness of the "stakes." It helped give me a really true feeling of how fucking insane it would be to fly around in a suit of armor and stop a giant spaceship from hitting a city. But that's what's great about Millar and Hitch, they craft a book that makes you recognize the scale being in the Marvel universe again (or a version of it). Things feel threatening, and huge, and awe-inspiring again like when I was a kid reading this stuff. Well, for me at least, I know for some of y'all it's just poopy.
Plastic Man is for drug users by Gustav Niemann	Dec 11th, 2003 12:16:05 PM
And God bless DC for putting it out as a monthly. I mean, check out the first issue's total homage to Crumb's "stoned again" strip on page 19. Talk about an overt Acid reference if ever there was one.
Thanks for the Christmas card! by mbeemer	Dec 11th, 2003 12:49:56 PM
That was inspired! Thanks for taking the effort, and happy holidays to all the @$$holes!
Dear Ass theLastVamp by creepyCritic	Dec 11th, 2003 12:57:31 PM
Thank you for helping me to see the error of my ways. From now on, I shall no longer 'masterbate' to my comic books. Instead, I'll jack off to your hilarious post because, more than men in tights, bad grammar, spelling and incoherence really get me off. Clearly comic books are not for you, might I instead suggest something from the 4th grade vocabulary section?
Seves you right, Towelie... by SleazyG.	Dec 11th, 2003 01:09:27 PM
..."you're the worst character ever." ;) Seriously, though: don't give up because of one banning. Just ask Mortsleam and a couple of us TL@'ers--it's hardly a death sentence. A new name--even an obvious derivation on the old--is all it takes. It does suck to have all history of your existence on the site for years erased, but oh well...
Dear Ass theLastVamp Pt. II by creepyCritic	Dec 11th, 2003 01:40:40 PM
No, when I say you might want to check out a 4th grade vocabulary book, I mean you might want to check out a 4th grade vocabulary book. Apparently your reading comprehension skills are a bit off, too. Equally hot.
X-Men - Draco part 6 SUCKED SUCKED SUCKED by ejcarter9	Dec 11th, 2003 01:47:51 PM
Oh my GOD did that issue SUCK! It sucked SUCKED SUCKED!!!!! Art, writing, coloring, even the feel of the paper SUCKED! Is Marvel TRYING to kill this book?
Whoa, what an awful Ultimates 12 review. by Fantomex	Dec 11th, 2003 02:15:41 PM
It was not a good comic, and not an amazing series, but do you realize that the reason Captain America is characterized like a 1930's American Male is because he's a 1930's American Male? He's only been in this century for a short time when #12 takes place. People never seem to get that.
Fantomex... by JonQuixote	Dec 11th, 2003 02:20:34 PM
...apparently he's been in the present long enough to note that today, when Americans want to joke about a less-militaristic society, they go for the French.
Plastic Man was a waste of paper. by riskebiz	Dec 11th, 2003 02:40:09 PM
Literally a waste of paper. How many pages was it? The artist had an average of two panels per page. The art and storyline was textbook Kricfalusi and that style is soooooo old. Can't there be a single cartoon that doesn't try for Kricfalusi-syle? That's what this book is ... a cartoon ... and the reviewer nailed it when he said that the supporting characters shouldn't look as weird as Plastic Man himself. This book was unfunny and a complete waste of everything. I'm surprised it was greenlit.
Vroom is the man! by Homer Sexual	Dec 11th, 2003 03:00:39 PM
I always love to read what Vroom has to say. I enjoy the Ultimates, but it isn't Millar at his best or anything. Just a fun read. I foolishly thought it was a pro-Bush type portrayal intended to be positive, and I still enjoyed it. But Supreme Power? Now THAT is the bomb, as good as the original Gruenwald series, which I still have from WAAAY back when. Two questions: Much bashing of Johns' Avengers run recently, now storyline completed, only one more Johns issue: Which Avenger is he going to kill off on his way out? And did this conclusion raise or lower your opinion of Johns' run on the book? Discuss.
Fantomex... by SleazyG.	Dec 11th, 2003 03:23:03 PM
...it's not that Cap is written like he stepped outta the 30's. The problem is that in ULTIMATES he's a fascistic, jackbooted asshole. Cap always fought because he had to, but looked for other options first. This Cap is a dumbass and a thug. It's pretty obvious, really. Not a single sentence he spoke in #12 is in keeping with Cap's character. I know, I know--"but this is the ULTIMATE universe, it's SUPPOSED to be different." Fine, but have you noticed that Iron Man, Wasp and Giant Man are all very close to their characterizations in the normal series? As is Black Widow? Hell, even Thor is more in character--you'd expect a millenia-old god to have learned a few things by now. Not Cap, though--he's just a big dumb prick who doesn't know how to do anything but punch people in the gut. Well, whoop-dee-shit. Everybody saying "that's the real Cap, and he represents today's America!" is completely missing what Millar is doing here. He's purposely painting the American people, government and military, including its heroes, as utter bastards, and not in a good way. The soldier pushing the little kid, Cap insulting an ally of our country, Cap yelling insults and then cleaving someone in two with his shield--just wrong. Not to mention the sheer retardosity of an alien so strong that being impaled on the nose of a jet that crashed into oil tanker, blowing him up, isn't enough to kill him. If THAT didn't do it, how the fuck was his body fragile enough to be cut in half by Cap's cutesy little frisbee? Not a fuckin' chance. Millar is writing at a far lower level than he's capable of. Why? Because he knows the readers of this title are so stupid that they'll just look at it and go "dude, that was COOL!" and forget what just happened three panels previous. What pisses me off is I know he can do better, but I also know why he isn't. Don't you guys get it yet? He's laughing at you. Don't thank him for the priviledge of making his house payments for him.
I DON"T UNDERSTAND... by Weasel	Dec 11th, 2003 04:40:47 PM
...why "The Ultimates" is so hated here at AICN. I consider the book - in spite of its glacially slow distribution schedule - to be one of the best takes on superheroes since the first ten issues or so the "The Authority." The Captain America character's classic line regarding the "A" on his forehead made me laugh out loud. It was a perfect "movie line" and one that would bring the house down if "The Ultimates" is ever adpated for the big screen. I totally disagree with the idea that the new Cap is some sort of neo-Nazi tricked out in the stars and stripes. This new Cap is harder edged because, quite simply, this ain't the 60's anymore! This new century of ours demands an America that wrings its hands less and kicks ass a lot more and that's what we're seeing here with this new take on the Avengers. Lest any fans forget, Tony Stark /Iron Man also had a great moment in this issue when, after attempting to deflect a spacehip from collidng with Phoenix, he vomits into his suit and experiences a moment of harrowing self-doubt ("I'm not as smart as everyone thinks I am - my God, nobody is!" Fantastic line). Far from detracting from his heroism, the moment heightens it by portraying Stark not as a "superhero" but as a human being trying to summon the courage to do an impossible job. My only criticism is that the character recovered just a little too quickly from the trauma of his gargantuan feat, something that cheapened the scene just a bit for me. Lately, there seems to be a philosophical tug-of-war among comic book aficionados on whether such publications should, indeed, remain "comic books," (i.e. chronicling the larger-than life adventures of characters in a four color world that has remained virtually unchanged for sixty-plus years) or begin to evolve into something else. For the past twenty years or so, comic book writing has begun moving towards a greater complexity and sophistication, so much so that the classic icons of our childhood are gradually beginning to outgrow their own spandex - uncomfortably so. Case-in-point: "Selina's Big Score." Now considering the entire noir/detective genre, SBC may not have been the greatest or most original story (but damn good nevertheless) but it took the Selina Kyle character light years beyond her Catwoman persona, so much so that it almost seems ridiculous, now, having her acting alongside a guy who dresses up like a bat. Mind you, I love the fantastical elements that define our beloved icons, but I'm at a point where I wonder what would happen if, say, DC were to take its basic characters and put them into the real world. Yes, that's right, ULTIMIZE them! They would retain their basic powers and abilities but without the garish costumes or "comic book" situations that we fans have grown accustomed to over the past few decades. I think it would be an interesting experiment that might yield some fascinating results for both comic book creators and readers alike.
Weasel, Re: ULTIMATES by SleazyG.	Dec 11th, 2003 06:55:13 PM
You're right, the Tony Stark stuff was good. He's still a partier, he's cavalier and snotty, and he's all of those things to hide his own deep-seated fears and insecurities. It's also one of the only things Millar is doing well. Cap, though, is the real problem. Not the 60's any more? True. But Cap wasn't created in the 60's. The real crux of the matter, quite simply, is this: even at our worst, Cap has always fought to represent the best of what America can be. He was there to defend the innocent, the weak, the scared and hopeless. He has fought for civil rights, he has fought against factions of our government or military who chose to take advantage of the American people, he has stood up and said "this is not what America was meant to be." He has fought eternally and determinedly for freedom and equality. Cap is the single greatest symbol Marvel has in its stable. There is a reason he and Superman are the two big hitters in JLA/AVENGERS, and that reason is because of their symbolic status as representatives of all that is Good and Right. They're supposed to be the inspiration, the moral center, of their respective universes. Instead of Millar using that in ULTIMATES to savage the negative aspects of America by having Cap rebel against them and topple them, he has taken the easy way out. Having Cap be an ignorant, thick-skulled bully is Millar's way of taking cheap shots at America's attitude towards the rest of the world. It's really the simplest, dirtiest, most pointless way of going about it, and it tarnishes the name of one of the only heroes who deserves to remain pure. If he wanted to take the intelligent, respectful route, he would have had Cap stand up and tell Fury and the President and everyone else exactly what they were doing wrong and why and then fought to fix our reputation as a country. Millar didn't do that because it was easier to sit back with a smirk on his face and write a self-serving mockery of the character. The fact that his readers accept it and don't even see what he's doing just plays right into his hands and encourages him to keep piling on insult after injury. Don't you guys get it? Cap is supposed to represent our best, not reflect our worst. He's doing it because he knows he can get away with it, but that doesn't make it right, and somebody needs to stand up and say so.
Cap and Ultimates by Rifferus	Dec 11th, 2003 07:18:07 PM
It's odd, and maybe I'm alone here, but I just don't see the dumb-ass character of Cap that people are complaining about in The Ultimates. I've enjoyed the series from the start, tho I confess it's more to do with Brian Hitch's stunning art than the concept itself. I've found it frustratingly slow moving, but at the same time I understand that at least artisticly speaking, these mothers must take quite some time to put together. But back to Cap... I guess my take on him in the Ultimates is slightly different. First, this is a guy who, in Ultimate continuity, is maybe a month or so away from having woken up from the 1930's. He hasn't gone through all those experiences and whatnot that mark the "classic" Cap as the stalwart partiotic symbol of all that's best of America. This guy is human. He has foibles, insecurities and all the rest of those things that mark real people. He's balanced out by having a sense of honour and decency (his outrage over Hank's assaulting of Janet pym for example) Second, he's a soldier... and sorry to burst bubbles, but soldiers are not supposed to be "nice" people. They are trained to be tough, decisive and, when need be, kill. We may not like it, but there it is. He's nowhere near being the BIGGEST douchebag of this crew, nevermind all the characters in the book. I do find Millar's approach to some of the military personell (case in point the guy who shoves the kid out of the way for no discernable reason) to be questionable. However, I'm sure there ARE people like that who populate military and even police forces. I would just like to see a little balance out of this. Can we also see the decent human beings who are honestly trying to do their best? I'd like that, myself. I'm certainly not saying the book's perfect, but it's by no means a terrible read. Just my 2 cents of course
Rifferus re: Cap et al by Fuzzyjefe	Dec 11th, 2003 08:08:10 PM
I agree with you there Rifferus. I see Millar's Cap as still definately the fish out of water. He really hasn't been out of the 40s for a long time. I think that MM is going to drop a huge bomb when Cap realizes that the US government is not quite the same as it was during WWII. He hasn't had a lot of time to really process a lot of information; he is still assimilating. This is a totally different world than what he was used to, and it will take time for him to wake up to the fact that out government and society is just plain dirtier than it used to be. Yes, he is a super SOLDIER. Yes, he is an absolute bad-ass. And yes, the France line is completely in character coming from someone who saw France surrender to the Germans. I also believe that had Cap seen that soldier's actions, he would have beaten his ass. I just think that Millar is writing Cap as a man who probably has a huge awakening coming. He's following orders now because he's used to that, but I really believe he's a bit more than a thug. Then again, I could be completely wrong and Millar is just an anti-American asshole. Which, of course, is his God-given right.
FOR SLEAZY G by Weasel	Dec 11th, 2003 08:28:57 PM
Actually, I'm very respectful of your point of view, SleazyG, yet I still find myself having to vehemently disagree with it. I suppose the point I was trying to make was that the Cap character as seen in the Ultimates is simply a reflection of how, as Americans, we want to see ourselves NOW: tough, decisive and unhindered by the neurotic self-doubt that has characterized us in recent decades. Being an older - MUCH older - comic book reader,I'm very much aware that Cap is not a creation of the 1960s and I was simply trying to point out that even the stalwart Captain America of the 1940s is now significantly passe. Was Millar attempting to mock both character and reader with this new Steve Rogers? You betcha! But I think the laugh is on Millar himself. In spite of his cheap shots at America and its military, the writer has managed to create characters that are still as courageous, committed and devoted to duty as their past incarnations. Even under the grime of their humanity, the "superhero" still shines through. Also, my compliments to Mr. Rifferus for an eloquent and effective defense of the Ultimates version of Captain America.
Well, aren't there a lot of jerks in the military? by boomstick81	Dec 11th, 2003 08:45:09 PM
My dad was in the military and he said the biggest jerks he's ever met were in there. He states, "All the jerks you knew from high school, that's where they went." He saw some soilders do horrible things to other soilders when he was in the military. They're not saints.
Okay Homer Sexual, I'll give you my thoughts on Avengers #75... by vroom socko	Dec 11th, 2003 08:52:46 PM
In our next column. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *** All right, all right, I'll quite with the tease act. I'l go into greater detail in my upcoming review, but here's a taste. Horrible issue. Horrible conclusion. Pointless to the extreme. And since the promo art for the arc following Johns departure shows She-Hulk prominently, and given his condition at the end of the issue, five'll get you ten that #76 features Jack of Hearts initial decomposition.
What happened to Chris Bachalo? by De Selby	Dec 11th, 2003 09:39:11 PM
I first came across Bachalo with the obvious Death mini-series, and then Generation X. I realise this is all like 10 years ago now but he used to be one of my favourite artists - fine lines, super detail, kinda like Brian Bolland or maybe Jim Lee but clearly a very recognisable, unique style of his own. The recently, with his work on New X-Men and Cap, he seems to have gone stupidly cartoony, thick lines and so on. Still pretty good, but nowhere near as good as his older work. Is this all a recent thing or has it been a gradual change? Do you reckon his old style just took too long?
Yeah, there are jerks in the military, Boomstick... by SleazyG.	Dec 11th, 2003 10:32:44 PM
...which is why my dad (an Airborne Ranger) always did everything he could to convince my brother and I not to enlist--not that he needed to: not my style. That's still missing the point, though: first, there's no way that has anything to do with who Captain America is. He should NEVER be representative of what we are; he's meant to be representative of all we COULD be. As for the soldier pushing the kid--I even coulda bought it if the kid was Iraqi or Somalian or some shit. But he wasn't. He was Arizonan. American soldiers on American soil who fuck with American citizens--a KID, for god's sake--are WAAAY the fuck outta line, and so is Millar's characterization here.
Aw, who cares about ULTIMATES anyway? That's a pussy-wimp comic by Dave_F	Dec 11th, 2003 11:35:30 PM
But seriously folks, I became disenchanted with ULTIMATES somewhere around issue 6, and while the ridiculous praise it receives irks me a bit, I can't work up the enthusiasm to even slam it anymore. But my subject line was only half joking. You really wanna be a hip reader? Try reading a comic that's not in Diamond's Top 10. Hell, try something that's not in the Top 100. Ain't nothin' wrong with the men-in-tights, but honestly, to devote TalkBack after TalkBack to 'em when there's so much more out there...it speaks to an almost pathological conservatism in comic book readers. Miller, Quesada and others have championed comics as this subversive medium in the past, but I'm having a hard time seeing how we're being subversive by clinging, tick-like, to a genre rooted in juvenile adventure. Now...having completed the chastisement portion of this post, may I good-naturedly suggest HALO & SPROCKET and AUTOBIOGRAPHIX to you hepcats out there in the audience? I'm not pimpin' my own reviews so much as the books themselves, 'cause frankly, they're better and more innovative than anything else reviewed in this column. And, goddammit, friends, I want to TALK about these books instead of watching the love/hate relationship with Mark Millar play out for the umpteenth fucking time. Izzat so much to ask? Don't you guys want to talk about some different comics too?
Question for all TalkBackers: by Dave_F	Dec 11th, 2003 11:39:16 PM
Alright - we've made our holiday recommendations, so first off...whatcha think of 'em? And second, what do you mugs want and/or recommend as far as comics 'n' graphic novels for the holidays?
Plastic Man "Kricfalusi style"? by Dave_F	Dec 11th, 2003 11:47:30 PM
Not that I don't see the resemblance, but couldn't Baker's style just as easily be described as 40's/50's Warner Brothers cartoon style? I profess a general ignorance when it comes to Baker's body of work, but my impression is that this guy's influences are far-reaching. Recently saw some stuff, for example, that was a clear homage to the NEW YORKER cartooning style. That, to me, doesn't suggest a guy whose beholden to modern trends. I agree PLASTIC MAN came across kinda flat, but I bet Baker was thinking more "Tex Avery" than "Ren & Stimpy" as he worked it up.
Dear Harry... by KneelBeforeZod	Dec 12th, 2003 12:50:58 AM
Dear Harry Knowles: Please consider removing this series of articles from your site. I do not wish to read reviews written by the same people who bitch at the local comic book store for hours on end about how Cap's suit isn't tight enough this week. This is a MOVIE SITE! If I want reviews for comics (and I don't, they're freaking comic books for fuck's sake) I'll go to a comic review site. If I want "cool" movie news, I'll stop by here... although this is becoming more and more of a review site as well. Sigh. No offense to the writers, keep doing your thing, free country and all. But I'd appreciate it if AICN didn't have articles like these. By the way, I'm a comic book fan and a geek.
Dear Harry Pt. II... by Dave_F	Dec 12th, 2003 12:57:23 AM
Please delete KneelBeforeZod's post. It's harshing my mellow.
ass vampy and zod. i know what you need... by speed	Dec 12th, 2003 02:01:07 AM
Ass the lastVamp and KneelbeforeZod. Boys, i realise being is high school is a testing time. stress from tests, new horizons to explore, the onset of puberty.and as these things happen other things become uncertain- your sexuality expecially. BUT dont worry! Dont question those late night thoughts you have about wanting to eat cheese filled sausages. feed the desire. Maybe you should meet up with each other??? Surely a bit of brown hole hooliganism might get rid of vampys obvious fascination with trouser banditry. and zods sphincter tightness might get a release with a bit of anal archeology...Fortune and glory boys! you dont have to hide behind veiled references vampy. let it out. Be that brown dot dabbler you so desire to be. Stand proud and dabble with gay abondon!!!
abandon by speed	Dec 12th, 2003 02:03:49 AM

So Called Comic Reviews by mogil1	Dec 12th, 2003 05:27:39 AM
You wonder when you read a bad review if the guy writing it even knows what a comic book is? The main thing is If you pass on a great book like Ultimate Spiderman your an idiot. And to call bendis wordy compared to the thousands of writers who are just hacks that us loyal fans prey for an excellnt writer with a great artist to come togeather in one book is a miricle. As for the Ultimates It is about time Marvel did a great book with those guys also to anyone who thinks ultimates are to racey Don't get wanted which is one of the best new books out there. A personal note to ass the lastvamp- Get off your mother quit picking your nose after it's been in your ass and take your inbred Redneck backwards ass to another site a$$hole.
Uh, Mogil1... What? by vroom socko	Dec 12th, 2003 05:50:26 AM
Since my Ultimate Spider-Man review was quite the positive one, I have to wonder why you're complaining about it. I love the book, even though I had some minor complaints. Nothing and no one is above criticism. And Bendis IS a wordy motherfucker! I LIKE that he's a wordy motherfucker! Nowhere in the review did I say that his being a wordy motherfucker was a bad thing! And I'll give you one more; damn near every character Millar writes is an asshole. Which can be fine as well; sometimes I want to read a story about an asshole. But sometimes I don't, and sometimes I resent seeing a character I've grown up with become an asshole. I'd comment further, but the rest of your complaints seem to have been proofread by a diseased lemur, and I can't quite discern your point. Oh well, I'm sure it was a heartfelt one.
ultimates #12 by mike_n	Dec 12th, 2003 07:23:05 AM
Despite the negative reviews of the Ultimates in @$$hole comics over the past year I've stuck with it as I've enjoyed the series. That was, until #12. This review nailed everything that was wrong with this issue. I was stunned to read Cap. America spouting xenophobic rubbish I would have expected to hear from the nazis he's fighting. I can't understand how a soldier who would have fought alongside the Free French and resistance forces in WWII could have uttered such a bigoted remark. This isn't the Cap that I admired and it's not a comic I'll keep collecting.
Millar's Cap is brilliant. Here's why: by the G-man	Dec 12th, 2003 08:09:26 AM
Unlike most "Nu Marvel" books, where everything is spelled out as if the reader is a five year old who needs some proseletyzing (sp?), Millar allows different readers to interpret the character differently, based on their own prejudices. Apparently, to liberals, he's an evil jack booted thug and to conservative's he's a "can do" man's man, and their views on the character seem to pretty much mirror their views on the country.
Chris Bachalo by jinX	Dec 12th, 2003 09:02:05 AM
I'd say the style change started in the 2nd Death miniseries (The Time of Your Life), was in full swing during his latter Gen X run and fully made by the time he worked on Uncanny with Seagle. I think he peaked in his old style during his X-Men AOA Generation Next miniseries. I would attribute it to natural style evolution and the increased demand for volume of work
Ultimates needs a moral compass by SoupDragon	Dec 12th, 2003 11:12:47 AM
I agree with a lot of whats been mentioned in the review and comments here. Whenever I see something like the soldiers knocking the little boy down it just makes me wish someone like Jesse Custer was there to kick the crap out of them. People get away with behaving like assholes too much in this book for my liking. It needs to be balanced out by a few characters with a more solid grasp on their morality. That's why I hope volume 2 focuses more on Thor's pov. BTW Whatever happended to Quicksilver and the Scarlet Witch exactly?
Mike N by RickP66	Dec 12th, 2003 11:15:09 AM
How the fuck is it "xenophobic" to say the French are surrender-prone? Particularly for someone who, from his own perspective, watched them surrender to the Germans just a couple years ago?
I think Rick is possibly right by Silver_Joo	Dec 12th, 2003 12:41:42 PM
The French are fucking useless, it's a continuity throughout past and present. It does not make Millar or Captain America xenophobes. On the contrary, it is a case of Cap calling it as seen. Toute le Monde, vive le France indeed!
Is it just me... by fidelio17	Dec 12th, 2003 12:45:06 PM
...or is Harry really fat?
We learn nothing new from these reviews . . . by Hellpop	Dec 12th, 2003 12:52:22 PM
Everything said in these reviews has been said about the same titles over and over again. Huk is boring? We get it. You think Ultimates suck? Yeah we get it. If they suck so much review something else or try adn think of something new to say about these titles. Or else get someoen who is actually adept at critically looking at comics and speaking about them to do these reviews. I come back reading this shit every week hoping that you guys will make it better, yet you don't.
Dear Harry III by Hellpop	Dec 12th, 2003 12:55:15 PM
You'd better censor all the posts Coromant doesn't like, he might start crying.
It's really depressing how much time and energy is wasted over a by Lizzybeth	Dec 12th, 2003 01:23:53 PM
Also, I would like to point out the extra a$$hole edition that snuck onto AICN this week ---http://www.aintitcool.com/d isplay.cgi?id=16646 --- with guest appearance from a ms. Dupont.
LIZZYBETH... by Weasel	Dec 12th, 2003 04:23:46 PM
...arguing about comics is what we do here (as you well know) and if this particular Talkback tends to focus on "The Ultimates," well, so be it. Ultimates gets such a bad rap from the @$$Holes that I just thought it was time for a few of its supporters (myself first and formemost) to step up and respond to the thrown gauntlet. It's by no means a flawless book, yet the contempt heaped upon it by so many critics is, I believe, completely undeserved. Beside, Lizzybeth, it's FUN to argue comics, yes? Some of the most intelligent writing and incisive comments here on AICN seem to come from the comic book people. I don't know why that is, but I enjoy the heck out of it. In addition, whenever you guys touch upon a subject that sparks my interest, I love drawing these discussions out a bit. I remember when, not too long ago, an @$$Hole Talkback used to go on for miles, but now they seem to be so darn short lately. I enjoy talking comics with my fellow geeks and I'm always interested in their opinions and points of view even when different from my own. Finally, Happy Holiday Season to all my geek brothers and sisters out in cyberspace. May 2004 be your best year ever!!
Uncanny - Drako by cookylamoo	Dec 12th, 2003 05:23:52 PM
"Oh my GOD did that issue SUCK! It sucked SUCKED SUCKED!!!!! Art, writing, coloring, even the feel of the paper SUCKED! Is Marvel TRYING to kill this book?" I think this book was Chuck Austin's way of saying, "So long chaps, I'm off to write the big red S, so kiss my beautiful white butt." Plus, we got the pointy- nosed elves back.
vroom socko by mogil1	Dec 12th, 2003 06:23:45 PM
What in any way made you think I was against Ultimate spiderman I love the book and bendis too. Learn to read. Not every thing miller writes is and asshole. and I like the Ultimates too. and as far as wordy read JLA/avengers. Read things before you think I am critizing.
Xenophobes are people who are paranoid about being conquered... by boomstick81	Dec 12th, 2003 07:01:47 PM
... and don't trust anybody. Making fun of the French because they easily surrender is not xenophobia.
xenophobe by mike_n	Dec 12th, 2003 10:49:11 PM
xenophobe (n) A person unduly fearful or contemptuous of that which is foreign, especially of strangers or foreign peoples.
Other books by Fuzzyjefe	Dec 12th, 2003 11:53:39 PM
Anybody out there reading Fables? That is one consistently entertaining book. Willingham and co. are really turning out some awesome stories and giving very interesting characterizations on all the old fairy tale personas. Supreme Power is great. I'll miss the hell out of Bone when it's done. I'm trudging through Cerebus all the way to the bitter end. Man, has that comic become almost unreadable; but I'll finish it, dammit! Only three more to go! Y the Last Man rocks. But hey, superheroes are fun too when done well. The Ultimate universe is great. And Hellboy. Can't forget about pamcakes. I have read and do read a pretty eclectic mix of comics. Just like my mixed taste in books and movies. If it entertains, I'm all for it. If it entertains with skill, even better.
mogil1... sigh by vroom socko	Dec 13th, 2003 01:47:35 AM
I never claimed YOU were against Ultimate Spidey; I was wondering why you seemed to be bitching about people not liking it when the review I wrote was a positive one. I like Bendis too. Hell, I interviewed him, for god's sake. In anyt case, I love the book, you appear to love the book, so why all the attitude? You're the one who posted " You wonder when you read a bad review if the guy writing it even knows what a comic book is?" under a heading of "So Called Comic Reviews," then went directly into a rant against people who don't like Ult. Spidey. If that wasn't directed towards me, then who was it intended for? And my reading comprehention level is quite adequate, thank you very much. Perhaps the problem is in the clarity of your writing.
G-Man by superninja	Dec 13th, 2003 02:19:49 AM
I'm a conservative, and I think Miller's Cap is a jack-booted thug. I don't see how his behavior can be interpreted as simply a "can-do" soldier. He's not rank and file and as the first issue made clear - a leader that could rally the troops. I wonder what those soldiers would think about him kicking a man when he's down? Or some of the things he did in this issue? Who would want to follow this guy? His leadership qualities seem to consist of being violent and reactionary but being too simple and/or naive to get the "big picture". I don't think Cap's man-of-out-time is really being explored here at all. Millar is just using him, none too subtely, as the character was originally designed: propoganda. But in this case, it's to espouse his own political views about America.****Anyway, it's issue #12 and what has really happened? Not much plot advancement to be found. Millar's nasty characterizations could be somewhat forgivable if stuff actually happened, or even a moment or two of moral clarity to balance it. But almost all of Ultimates has been Millar creating situations to dirty up the characters or push them to extremes, without lending them any likeable qualities. This is just like the crap Ennis writes in Punisher - shock value, tabloid crap. If that's not the case, then I submit stuff would've actually happened by now.
Fuzzyjefe by superninja	Dec 13th, 2003 02:32:22 AM
Yeah, I am loving the Fables. It's one of my favorite titles right now. Willingham's take on fairytales in a modern setting actually inspired me to seek out fiction of the same sort. I discovered a whole sub-genre in fiction of modern twists on fairytales (The Bloody Chamber being a good one), although it's much darker and twisted than what Willingham's shooting for (often heavily erotic - shocker, that one :P). Willingham has this uncanny ability to not be capable of telling a bad story. I'm looking forward to his take on the JLA, with DC's editorial decision to rotate creative teams by story arc.
Hellpop, since it's all about you by superninja	Dec 13th, 2003 02:48:20 AM
Please provide the @$$holes with a list of titles that can be reviewed, along with your special needs. I would hate to feel like we're making you uncomfortable. What can we do for YOU, Hellpop?
So the @$$holes hated another Ultimates issue, but who cares wha by TheSumOfGod	Dec 13th, 2003 10:33:49 AM
Ultimates issue 12 delivered the goods and then some, for me anyway. Over-the-top, cynical and heartless? No shit. But its still one of the best comic books EVER. And American soldiers ARE douchebags, by the way. Sure, they saved the world a zillion years ago, but they've been dry-raping peace and prosperity ever since before my father was even born. Nowadays, they just wanna "get revenge for 9/11" by blowing up innocent "brown people" overseas.
TheSumOfGod by RickP66	Dec 13th, 2003 11:25:06 AM
TheSumOfGod, you're a vile, worthless waste of flesh. Do the world a favor and put yourself out of our misery, you pitiful wretch.
RickP66 by TheSumOfGod	Dec 13th, 2003 11:40:43 AM
I always appreciate positive feedback. Thank you for your encouraging comments. I love you too.
Superninja by Fuzzyjefe	Dec 13th, 2003 11:43:10 AM
I agree totally. As far as I am concerned, there hasn't been a bad issue of Fables. Willingham has a great grasp of so many diverse characters, and all of his portrayals come from a real "where would they be now" approach. There are SO MANY places a writer could go with this series, and I can't wait to see what's coming up. And before I forget again, I can't believe I left Planetary off my list of favorites. This series has a real sense of history, wonder, and love of comics and sci fi, combined with great characters and great dialogue. And John Cassiday is one of my favorite artists working today. He can do gritty, futuristic, or beautifully detailed works of art. The issue with Snow and Jakita in the offices of the Four comes to mind, as does his insanely detailed interior of the shiftship. Great stuff.
Christmas wishes by Fuzzyjefe	Dec 13th, 2003 12:02:51 PM
I am hoping for Mignola's Art of Hellboy, the last four (or five) Transmetropolitan collections (I have through Year of the Bastard) and/or the first four 100 Bullets trades. And since this is a wish list, I suppose I'll make a wish. I would love for marvel to do a collected Star Brand from the old 80s New Universe. I know this probably caused a big old belly laugh, but hear me out. The New Universe sucked big time. In my opinion, Star Brand was the only one really worth anything (Justice was a cool concept too, though). It was the first superhero book that I had read up to that time (I had only been really reading comics since the very late 70s) that dealt with a character who really wasn't the best choice to have these incredible powers. He used them to very briefly to sneak a look at his girlfriend (who he was cheating on) while she undressed. He had to learn his powers as he went along. He made a big old mess just as often as he really helped someone. Other nations wanted his powers. Hell, he blew up Pittsburg. Along with the rest of the New U, it went downhill at the end, but for a while there it was one of my favorites. Of course, I haven't read it in a loong time, so it may totally suck now. It was just cool to see this fellow who wasn't really a very good guy try to do the right thing as he saw it. And the issue where he met all the comic creaters (John Byrne was one) who totally ripped on his lame costume was fun. Just my two cents. And, as a side note, it's good to be able to come here to read and post where most everyone can express diverse opinions without others being ridiculously asinine if it doesn't agree with theirs. There are a few exceptions, but for the most part respectful debate seems to be the norm here in the comic book forum. Kudos.
Fuzzyjefe by Ambush Bug	Dec 13th, 2003 04:13:22 PM
Just to let you know, you arn't the only one with mucho respect for the New U. Starbrand did in fact rock. I liked DP7 and PSI-FORCE too. Sure there were stinkers. MERC and KICKERS INC. come to mind. But I liked the way the titles functioned together and told a broader story. DC is giving this a shot with their new FOCUS line. It'll be interesting to see how that pans out.
Ambush bug by Fuzzyjefe	Dec 13th, 2003 04:59:32 PM
Hmm...I havn't heard alot about Focus. It sounds interesting. Too bad I really can't afford any new titles right now. House payments will cut a lot of fat off your budget. And yeah, Psi-force was good. As was DP7. I liked the big guy who had terrible muscle cramps every time he added mass. That was an interesting take on the strong-man of the group. Man,I have read some stinkers in my time. Kickers Inc., Merc, friggin' Team America, for God's sake. Although, if someone could come up with a new MAX twist on the Marauder, it might be cool. Sort of a bad-ass manifestation that pops up in different situations. But, since he was linked to those specific riders, it probably wouldn't work. Who wants to see "Lobo" again? Plus, that would be a little too close to Ghost Rider. But man, I remember thinking "holy crap!" when Starbrand blew up Pittsburg. Who saw that coming?
Christmas List by DeSelby	Dec 13th, 2003 05:24:25 PM
If anyone wants to get me the big Neal Adams Deadman hardcover, that'd be nice. The new Promethea hardcover wouldn't be bad either.
Starbrand by Ambush Bug	Dec 13th, 2003 06:34:30 PM
I need to dig out my back issues of STARBRAND. One of these days, Marvel will realize that some of that New U was good and put the core titles into a giant trade. I remember being shocked when Starbrand tried to get rid of the Brand onto a dumbbell (what symbolism) causing a gigantic explosion that destroyed Pittsburg. I think that was the moment I realized that I really liked the New U because I felt that there were no lasting ramifications in Marvel and DC at the time. Everything always went back to status quo after a few issues. This was the issue when I reallized that there was no status quo in the New U and things would never be the same. Did you pick up the New U prologue in QUASAR a few years ago? Gruenwald did some fun stuff with that character. Giving him the Starbrand as well as the Quantum Bands was a pretty fun idea.
vroom socko by mogil1	Dec 13th, 2003 06:50:27 PM
O. K. Must have been a misunderstanding apoligies all around. I still don't think Bendis is that wordy.
Quasar by Fuzzyjefe	Dec 13th, 2003 08:30:58 PM
No, I didn't pick that stuff up. I remember vaguely hearing about it, but I didn't get it.
Would love to see some other titles reviewed by sexyfanboy	Dec 14th, 2003 03:36:43 AM
I would like to see some books like Planetary, Teenagers From Mars, Silent Forest, and hell, even Cerebus #300 when it comes out get reviewed. There is only so much Marvel/DC superhero stuff I can take! Brain melting, must read good stuff or I will die...
Superninja by Hellpop	Dec 14th, 2003 03:51:26 PM
heh heh, how can I take a goading seriously from someone who calls themselves, and no doubt believes he is a, super ninja . . .
Superninja 2 by Hellpop	Dec 14th, 2003 03:53:58 PM
sigh and as it is, thats not my job . . nor would i pretend that it was. My job, as is all talkbalkers, is it point out how you guys suck, and how you could better do your reviews.
Hey, I Loved The ULTIMATES Until The Last Couple Of Issues... by Buzz Maverik	Dec 14th, 2003 06:04:44 PM
I don't hate 'em now...that's too fanboy. Fanboys only see black and white. Millar could be good again and probably will...but the last two issues were poorly written. Issue 11 killed me: "I'm a Skrull and we don't have personalities. Now, for no reason, I'll tell you our entire plan like a meglamaniacal supervillain. Of course, it seems like if I had no personality, I'd just kill you now, but I'm not writing this turd, now am I?"... My whole problem with Millar's current take on UltimaCap is that it's based on trendy Eurotrash politics. It's not character. The France line is both pandering and insulting. Boys, Mark thinks he's smarter than you..okay, he IS smarter than you but he still doesn't need to go around pointing out your stupidity! He can watch all the CNN he wants, read all the lefty papers, watch all the American movies and T.V. but he'll never make it feel true! Ya know, James Ellroy writes about characters whom he disagrees with all the time, but he understands them. He shows us how they see themselves. But the real reason I didn't like ULTIMATES # 12 was dialogue like (and I'm paraphrasing here but barely): "Die!" "No!" Such writing! Better to have no dialogue than such dead, cardboard stuff. I read the issue in the store because it just looked so bad so I didn't catch the Iron Man stuff but wasn't the helmet puking a gag from TWISTED TOYFARE THEATER? As for why we keep saying the same kind of things about the ULTIMATES and the HULK, well, they keep putting out the same kind of crap. If they put out better issues, or at least a different kind of crap, we'd say something different. Remember, just because you love comics, that doesn't mean all comics are good. Free your minds...and free Chong!
Dear Harry, Could You Please Replace Your Comic Book Reviewers W by Buzz Maverik	Dec 14th, 2003 06:09:38 PM
I luuuuv comic books! If something has been made into a comic book, it's a-okay with me! These so called @$$holes need to start liking what's popular and what I read! This whole thing of them telling us what they really think has to go! They should write reviews like those other reviewers who want to be pals with comic book creators and get jobs at Marvel and DC. Yer pal, Buzz.
Ambush Bug shouldn`t review comics anymore. He`s a typical brain by chien_sale	Dec 19th, 2003 06:47:57 AM
I mean, Kurt Busiek? Busiek...? And he`s anti-New Marvel,meaning anti-quality too? What a dush bag! Fuck you!

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