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AICN COMICS! @$$Hole Reviews!

I'm first? by hulkdog	Dec 11th, 2003 06:34:10 AM
Well, then fuck me up my stupid ass then . . .
Wadda fuh??! by Louis Cyphre	Dec 11th, 2003 06:34:43 AM
Okay, haven't read the reviews yet, I'll admit - BECAUSE I SCANNED STRAIGHT DOWN TO FIND OUT WHAT YOU FINE GENTLEMEN MADE OF ULTIMATES #12, POSSIBLY THE MOST EAGERLY AWAITED COMIC SINCE X-MEN #1!! You HAVE read it haven't you? You've put me in a fine pickle and no mistake...
You want it, hulkdog? YOU GOT IT. by Dog Of Mystery	Dec 11th, 2003 07:20:36 AM
Eh...too busy to beat you around. Sleazy...I'm with you, bud. I have officially dropped UNCANNY.
Empire and FF by dougmac	Dec 11th, 2003 08:19:05 AM
Empire is outstanding! As happy as I am that Waid is staying on FF, I'd love to know how they were going to erase the power of this story to get down to the wacky sitcom hijinks of a dysfunctional super hero family.
Why must Chuck Austen fuck up my favorite X-Men? Ice Man becomes by Big Bad Clone	Dec 11th, 2003 02:01:11 PM
The satnd alone issue about Mystique really really being Nightcrawler's mom was quite good. I'd go so far as to say "superb". That said, there has been way too much silly shit going on. The Angel/Demon thing is convuluted and unneccessary. Angel's change was interesting. I love Havok but I feel he has taken a backseat to his own comeback. The few action scenes suck (the raid on the church of humanity) and often quickly finish off a story in a few short and unsatisfying strokes a plotline that's been building for too many issues. I've had it. I'm out. I'm just fucking out of X-Men (both titles after Morrison leaves).
Sleazy by superninja	Dec 11th, 2003 02:23:19 PM
That Uncanny review was beautiful. Thanks! My day's better already.
Empire/Fantastic Four by RenoNevada2000	Dec 11th, 2003 02:56:15 PM
Was a great back to back, one-two punch read last week. Kudos to Waid for pulling out two great moments I did not see coming. I can't even remember what else I picked up that day...
A renewed request... by mbeemer	Dec 11th, 2003 03:21:26 PM
I haven't read the whole column yet, but these look like reviews from comics that shipped November 26th. The reviews weren't posted until December 11th, so if I want to look up any of these comics I have to hunt down the right area of my dealer's shelves to find them. PLEASE consider noting the date the issue shipped in your review headers along with the publisher and staff information. Thank you kindly.
the Four by YankeeMan	Dec 11th, 2003 04:05:42 PM
I'd love to read Waid's FF, but that fucking artist has GOT to go!
Thanks, Superninja. by SleazyG.	Dec 11th, 2003 07:02:04 PM
I do what I can. And now, because I'm a jerk, I have to comment on your review and mention that I honestly think the Batman/Wonder Woman thing would be an absolutely godawful train wreck of a relationship--the greatest mistake they (or any writer) could make. I know you think it's a grand idea, and I have my theories, but honestly, it just couldn't ever work. Diana couldn't take Bruce's dark, brooding, pathetically self-involved and masochistic attitude. She's here to be a messenger of hope, light, peace, etc. and if she allowed him to have even the slightest influence it would completely defeat her ability to carry out her mission. Plus Bruce would tank it intentionally in under a month because he always does with women, which Diana also doesn't need ("I can't believe I slept with you!"--feh!). I thought JLA #90 stunk to high heck, and I'm really glad to see Kelly go. He took the easiest, lamest possible way out, and there wasn't even a damned story there. I think he just snuck into the office of whoever edits "Elseworlds" and borrowed stuff from all the rejected proposals (of which there weren't enough, BTW).
Sleazy, gotta disagree by superninja	Dec 13th, 2003 03:32:24 AM
The Bats/WW thing doesn't work only if you think these characters should continually exist in their static hovering patterns. If that's the case, then Batman can never really have a relationship, because he will always follow a certain pattern. Why even introduce a romantic interest if the character will never really act on it? It's boring and predictable. As is the idea that Diana couldn't handle Batman. Bruce and Diana have the exact same mission, only their methods and scope differ. Batman doesn't need another Bad Girl or Lois Lane. WW doesn't need another Lois Lane or Superman. There is so much commonality between the two, despite their differences, that I am in favor of the idea just because I think it would have to be executed on a more sophisticated level. It's about shaking up the status-quo. They can still retain their iconic status, and you can always go back.
You think that was bad. by cookylamoo	Dec 14th, 2003 02:03:25 PM
Say what you will, the previous issues of Uncanny X-Men were the "Hush" compared to the half-assed resolution in Uncanny 433. Suddenly, everyone is back to looking like a Christmas Elf. All the subpots go ka-blooee. The bad guys become total screw-ups. The art level goes back to early, early Barry Windsor Smith and Chuck says TA TA suckers, I'm off to write the Big Red S.
Thinking of dropping X-titles by ejcarter9	Dec 24th, 2003 08:51:26 AM
I really hate all of the recent issues except for Ultimate. X-Men IS my collection, the reason I buy every week. Sure there are a few others that I've started collecting along with them, but if my core reason for collecting is going to suck THIS MUCH, then screw it. I may stop once 1602 is done.

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