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The Brits have the New HULK Theatrical Trailer!

Brits... by MKiro	Feb 6th, 2003 11:14:14 AM
We're usually 6 months behind the US in everything to do with entertainment, but here we are... Beating you to the punch with the latest Hulk trailer and... wait till you guys get a load of the Michael Jackson interview tonight (which was broadcast here on Monday). Now if we can only arrange the screenings of ROTK a week or two earlier.....
first? by darnshyter	Feb 6th, 2003 11:14:23 AM
bring it on unclefucker
Very nice, I must say by Terry_1978	Feb 6th, 2003 11:17:43 AM
ILM knows what's up, even if there have been doubts by the hardcore Gollum lovers. I think the emotions shown by their Hulk version will give Smeagol a run for his money.
Yes! Rock on, you Giant Green Man in Purple Pants Breaking Shit! by Vegas	Feb 6th, 2003 11:18:03 AM
No one breaks shit quite like the giant green man in purple pants, and when he breaks shit, you can rest assured that shit will be BROKE! Which is to say, it will not be functioning. It will cease to function, and will continue to exist, albeit in a non-functioning, inefficient manner, often in more than one piece, which is not necessarily only two, but often more than two pieces, but rarely more than ten, unless splintering should occur. At which point, should splintering occur, which is to say the breaking off of miniscule fragments from that which is broken by the giant green man in purple pants, then one should seek shelter immediately.
That's it? by Sleestak	Feb 6th, 2003 11:19:05 AM
When the trailer started, I thought I was watching the Super Bowl commercial. This trailer is only slightly different from that, but at least it has some dialogue in it. Granted, these are still just teasers, but I hope they turn up the juice on them, like they are for Daredevil, soon.
Why Grammar Matters by FrankCobretti	Feb 6th, 2003 11:39:15 AM
I could've sworn Harry was saying that he hit his 3-year-old nephew with his Hulk Hands. But ... that can't be.
Didn't work by rev_skarekroe	Feb 6th, 2003 11:41:28 AM
Is it just me? sk
Hulk Speaks More in the Third Person Than Most Athletes by hipcheck13	Feb 6th, 2003 11:47:35 AM
I didn't buy off on the SB clip, but having looked a little closer at it - and this trailer - I'm getting pumped. But I just can't tolerate one of those Roy Thomas inspired "Hulk will do what Hulk wants to do for Hulk!" speeches.
well I for one DO like you when you're angry... by TV CASUALTY	Feb 6th, 2003 12:44:28 PM
Fettarific - laying the irony on a little thick there. OK, on to the trailer. It worked, it was cool, I can't wait to see it blah blah blah. To be honest, it was pretty much identical to the Super Bowl spot except for the Nolte footage and about 4 seconds of other stuff. But that doesn't mean I'm not still peeing my pants in anticipation. I am. It's just more of a drip now than a steady stream.
pants by defino	Feb 6th, 2003 01:15:35 PM
i don't understand how the hulk's purple pants shrink/grow to cover his normal/hunk-sized penis. are they magical or maybe radiated pants?
COOL.New Hulk trailer tonight by SM Shadow	Feb 6th, 2003 01:23:39 PM
Most of you probably know this already but the new Hulk trailer can be seen tonight on ET 7p.m.Naysayers beware I heard that Hulk will look better and mor polished than the Super Bowl version so keep your eyes peeled or HULK WILL SMASH THEM!!!!!
THREE QUESTIONS by defino	Feb 6th, 2003 02:09:41 PM
1. can someone please answer my post about how it is that hunks purple pants grow and shrink along with mr. banner and his dick? 2. was fettastic banned for some reason? (it was bound to happen) and who are these fettacular and fetterific characters? 3. why is this talkback out of order? why are any of them out of order? anyone who answers all three will be rewarded with a nude pic of harry in their inbox.
Poopy Windows Media... by Nordling	Feb 6th, 2003 02:16:09 PM
Gimme Quicktime or gimme death!
My post got deleted by GypsyTRobot	Feb 6th, 2003 02:29:24 PM
What's with the censorship? Racist drivel stays on the TB's but it's taboo to talk about banned posters' past transgressions? Oh Fetties, check this out: http://theonion.com/onion3904/ nations_love_affair.html Super-freaks, check this out: another casting rumor for Superman: http://www.mutantx.net/about/c ast_webster.html
I Love Fett by adrianheh	Feb 6th, 2003 02:31:40 PM
I mean that. Nobody inspires more passionate talkback and insults. Even better, he can never let someone else have the last word. AND he always says inane things in his replies to keep the vicious cycle of Fett abuse going. Just keep on rollin, baby
Shrek 2? by Karl Childers	Feb 6th, 2003 03:00:16 PM
They need to take their time with this and give us a "Smeagol" instead of a Shrek!
The funniest thing about this is that Best Film oscar poll by Otto Parts	Feb 6th, 2003 03:15:06 PM
Look at the poll on the same page as the link and see how all the AICNers have pushed The Two Towers up to 70% on the Best Oscar poll. Now that shit's funny! Much as it would be nice, I don't think we'll be seeing Marty McLegolas and Gol-Gol Binks getting too many mentions at the Oscars this year....
Here we go again...more Fett fighting...aggravated sigh by CoolDan989	Feb 6th, 2003 03:16:52 PM
I don't understand why every talkback Fett walks into gets interrupted by another huge fight. It was fun for a while, but it's gotten pretty fucking old. I don't know if everyone likes to gang up on Fett or if Fett's just an asshole, but I will say this: I bet you all anything that if Fett changed his screen name to something that didn't have Fett in it, he would become just another anonymous talkbacker.
FETTASTIC: please read by defino	Feb 6th, 2003 04:42:44 PM
monkeyfucker (or whatever your new name is) why have you given up your precious namesake on this board? why were you banned? you should show these punk imitators who's boss. take back your fett name with whatever you so choose to be after it.
Anyone that likes Jar Jar Binks... by DavidPuddy	Feb 6th, 2003 05:01:04 PM
is a fuckin' jerk.
Heh heh heh by Ribbons	Feb 6th, 2003 06:09:25 PM
A young civilian attending Kentucky University and dreaming of the unlived life creates a handle for himself and takes the geek talkback community by storm with his straightforwardness and brash opinions. Manipulating a wave of emotion and support, he gets the fascist owner of the website, who is steadily losing popularity among his audience, to allow him his own point/counterpoint column in order to keep public tensions from exploding out of control. The point man to his counterpoint? A confused, earnest young man with the handle Fettarrific (this is also his newly-minted legal name) who unwittingly creates controversy when he speaks. Falsely befriending Fettarrific, the Civilian tears him 9 new assholes every week in their column. Fanboys gobble it all up. The two larger-than-life attitudes, combined with the introduction of Fettarrific's crazy ideas and their subsequent dismissal by the Civilian, elicits many an "Oh, snap!" from geeks behind computers. They check out the column constantly to get more of the renegade opinions that spring forth from the two personalities. Weeks pass. The burgeoning popularity of the Civilian remains. Word is slowly trickling through the grapevine. Industry insiders and gossip magazines alike are claiming that this mysterious young man is the new Harry Knowles, Hollywood's weird relative that airs out all their dirty laundry. They comply with his ideas to keep him content and get mucho success in return. This makes the old Harry Knowles none too happy. Now jokingly referred to as the third Weinstein brother, Harry Scissorhands menacingly walks into the Civilian's penthouse bachelor pad (he's since dropped out of college and left his friends behind) threatens to eliminate his column because he claims it provokes traitorous notions towards the founders of his grand site. But it's no good. "People used to like the work you put out, but now you've gone Hollywood," the Civilian sneers triumphantly, "I'm all you've got left." Harry snarls away, but in his Grinchy heart, he knows that he's right. Once upon a time, he wasn't so unlike the Civilian: his intentions were possibly even purer. But now look at him. Spoiled by the blight that is Tinseltown. 'All the glitz and glamour has made me lose sight of what I really care about,' he thinks to himself sadly. With mixed feelings of envy, remorse, and self-loathing, he allows the column to continue its run. Meanwhile, the Civilian has been hearing gossip of his own. Members of Warner Brothers have even approached him and complimented him on his good work. One in particular drops him an invitation to come an see him sometime regarding his ideas for comic book movies. 'Soon the world will know my name,' he promises to himself with an avarice that's almost frightening to behold. The stage is almost set, and his career in the business of making movies has been progressing accordingly; his star continues to rise. But the development of his character has not been so smooth. Constantly he's received word from his old college friends that he abandoned so abruptly and completely. Still an underground force and only marked in Hollywood circles by his alias, they do not yet know what's become of him. Yet he is constantly inundated with voicemails or forwarded letters from his heartbroken old pals, who, in between getting good grades in college, saving ducks from plastic six-pack rings, and starting a family, wonder about whatever happened to the slightly shy guy who made them laugh and brightened all of their lives. This is particularly poignant, because up until now, the Civilian thought that he was unloved by all but his mom, and she doesn't count. An extension of his childhood practices of escapism, mastering the art of comic book movies would be an achievement of the grandest scale. His goal was already set, and he couldn't look back now. Time continued to progress. He had made some initial contact with the source at WB over coffee, and it seemed he was set to write and helm a big-screen adaptation of 'The Authority.' He also continually denigrated Fettarrific and his opinions behind his Point/Counterpoint vehicle. Ah, but what of poor Fettarrific? He and the Civilian had become roomates, because the Fettmeister had a dangerously fragile psyche, and the Civilian feared to decline his request to live together. The Civilian had become his first and only friend, and his psychosis had begun to gradually subside. True, he still believed that Peter Pan peanut butter and Bally's Total Fitness formed a conspiracy to make people fat and lose weight, then become fat and lose weight again (hmmmm....), but it was much worse. The Civilian still recalls one embarrassing moment, when, out on the town, Fettarrific spotted someone wearing a Two Towers shirt. The Fett assaulted the man with a Bic pen, screaming "This is for Padme! For Padme! Stop making fun of me!!!!!" and was taken into custody. But those days had passed. In Civilian, he had found someone who (he thought) truly listened to his opinion, whether or not he always agreed with it. One day, Fettarrific tentatively confirmed to the Civilian that he had been a positive force in his life, and he didn't know what he would do without him. This put the young Civilian in a bad place. He had come to realize that his existence effected the happiness of others, and Fettarrific was precariously close to another psychotic episode. Civilian was everything to him; how was he going to react when he was dumped for bigger and better things than a weekly on AICN? The Civilian went for a walk on the streets of LA, looking sad while some shitty progressive rock chicks played music over his thoughts. Then he went to a bar and had empty sex with a groupie while he pondered this moral query. He had become concerned that any more abuse in his column could set Fettarrific off, so he focused all his invective on the still fairly shitty operation of WB. This moral decision led to two problems: fans were upset that he and Fettarrific always agreed; they wanted to see some absurdist flame battles. His contact at WB was also nonplussed. The Civilian's criticism had failed to serve as advice and had veered into single-minded insults. People inside had begun to panic at the suggestion that they were doing an irreprably horrid job, and like lemmings they threw themselves out their office windows. Variety buzzed: "AICN informant disses Warner Brothers." Their box office returns began to diminish because of all their negative press. Yes, he still had power. But he had started to lose it. Fanboys weren't pleased by the current lame-osity of his column, and they began to grow vocal about it. "Just give me one more chance," he begged his WB contact. He toiled on his treatment for 'The Authority' day and night. The weekly point/counterpoint became a monthly. Fettarrific wondered why the Civilian didn't come home anymore. But he couldn't let everything slip now. He had to prove himself, had to make his name heard. When he finally created enough free time for himself to peruse the latest talkback feedback, he was horrified at the overwhelmingly unfavorable opinion geeks held of him. Rumors had even begun floating that he was being approached to pen an adaptation of the comic book stinker Red Dawg. 'Well,' he said to himself, 'I won't make the same mistakes Harry did. I'm not going to show any bias. Remember when Harry plotzed over Spy Kids 19, which had been released eight months after Spy Kids 18? You're going to do the exact opposite.' So his assessment of Warner Bros. became even more malignant, even crueler and more intense. The public's interest of him traveled inversely. He was called into a meeting with his contact at Warners under the assumption that he was going to talk about his work on 'The Authority.' In a sense, this was true. They fired him. "You can't do this to me!" the Civilian uttered. "Hey, kid, I hate confrontations. I left a message on your machine, but word has it you spend most of your nights out on the town." Oh no! He left a message. On. The answering machine! That means Fettarrific could have found out that his "pal" been planning to ditch him. Civilian chucked the coffee table out of the way and began the mad dash back to his apartment. When he go there he found the message machine ripped out of the wall. The red dot continued to beep, for a menacing effect. Fettarrific had put a bullet through his own head, which rested on the latest copy of the Civilian's Authority script. Random papers swirled and flew out the open window, also for effect. "NOOOOO....," Civilian moaned. Just then, who should enter the door but Harry Knowles, his Gucci suit and giant girth giving him an intimidating quality. As he approached Civilian, he pulled out an unlit cigar and began chomping on it. "You know, the talkback assholes have given you a resounding 'meh,' kid," Harry snarled. "Look, I've been in a little off-balance these past few months, if I could just...." the Civilian tried to reason with the Red-Headed Stepchild, but it was no use. "Sorry, but you've gone Hollywood. Lost your edge. It's the business, kid. I've gotta let ya go," Harry said gleefully. Then he picked up the gun Fettarrific used to blow his own brains out and tossed it to the Civilian. "Here," he growled, "I know you don't like hookers or cocaine, but this is the next best thing for washed-up has beens. Oh, and I'm taking your apartment. Get out." The Civilian stood there in silence, red eyed and on the verge of a breakdown. "You're a horrible man," he uttered to Harry, and he walked out the door. Alone in the apartment, Harry picked up the Authority script and lit it ablaze. He used the flaming copy to light his cigar. As he puffed away, he walked to the window and surveyed the night sky. "God, I love Hollywood." He grinned, and a single tear rolled down his cheek. Meanwhile, Civilian had checked himself into a nearby hotel. He sat in the dark with the gun to his left temple. It felt cold. As he sat there, he thought about all that he had lost, and all the madness he had caused. Poor Fettarrific...it was time to end his own life. He really was a nobody after all. The only thing he could create was destruction. 'That's not true,' a voice in the back of his mind said, 'what about the way you inspired the guys at Kentucky? Are you going to walk out on them, too?' Just then, the civilian dropped the gun. He couldn't do it. He began to sob uncontrollably. He had lost his shot at fame, but in the end he had gained something more. Over time, he came to rejoin his friends at Kentucky. Delighted to see the friend they had lost, they had no problem catching up on old times. The group is inseparable, and when the civilian isn't helping his friends end the long-standing war between dogs and cats, or painting murals for retarded kids, he's regaling them all with jokes or frolicking through the Kentucky bluegrass. They still remain unaware that he had a stint as a sarcastic and powerful member of the AICN talkback community, and hopefully, they'll never ask? Still, what about this Civilian's 15 minutes of fame? With his sarcastic guard and penetrating wit, he could have really been something great. As it is, no one knows his name but him. And that's what this is all about, isn't it? Well, I'd say he's earned it. His name wa--[FIN].********No Fetts were harmed in the making of this movie.
Yeah, I know, I'm a shameless dick by Ribbons	Feb 6th, 2003 06:10:43 PM
So sue me
On second thought, please don't by Ribbons	Feb 6th, 2003 06:12:32 PM
Any similarity to real persons or AICN handles living or dead were unintentiional in the making of this movie. There!
Tossing the tank? by NakedMonk	Feb 6th, 2003 08:10:46 PM
Does no one else have a problem with ole Hulk hammering-throwing the M1 over the mountains? It's the diffreence between comic book and cartoon, kids.
Damn... Nolte looks terrible.. by manwiththedogs	Feb 6th, 2003 08:15:18 PM
..are the drugs finally taking their toll, or are the rumors about a vicious ass raping during his last visit to the slammer really true?
You can't compare Jar Jar to HULK and Golly by Moriarity Report	Feb 6th, 2003 08:21:55 PM
...because HULK and Gollum have humanoid features, where Gollum is Duck faced. Ofcourse then it makes sense that Gollum seems to "emote" more than Jar Jar ever could, in large part because he has human features. Jar Jar was probably much more of a challenge. It is ridiculous to call Jar Jar poor animation though, LOL. That's like saying that the space shuttle is poorly designed because it perhaps has a few minor flaws and can spontaneously burst into flames. I don't know how many times I have to say this but...Jar Jar only really failed when he broke the laws of physics, when he juggled all those canisters in Watto's place and when he did his triple lining dive into the Naboo swamp. Then he ceased to be real and became like Roger Rabbit. His facial expressions were also over animated a few times. Asides from that, he was a well conceived character. Actually watch the film folks, the other characters are annoyed by him. Good ol Obi-wan even calls him "pathetic". C3-PO's annoying metal ass even remarks how odd he finds Jar Jar. It's called "characterization". You weren't supposed to like Jar Jar because he was obviously a retarded alien. Just because you are prejudiced against people who are trapped in a perpetual childhood like Jar Jar was, does not mean Jar Jar was a bad character. I'm serious. Like I've stated, Lucas went over the line in a couple scenes, Im not denying this. Star Wars has ALWAYS been "light" entertainment. It works because it deals with serious metaphysical philosophies and is based on classic fairy tale archetypes. I think Lucas got a little carried away with the technology a few times, but that doesn't mean the whole character was a failure. It was the first and it was indeed something very odd and different yet realistic enough. Peter Jackson had hindsight when creating Gollum, plus this was an already established, well known literary character. The characterization was there already, he just needed to bring it to life. Jar Jar was straight out of Lucas's imagination. He was raw.
PENIS by TomVee	Feb 6th, 2003 10:00:51 PM
i don't understand how the hulk's purple pants shrink/grow to cover his normal/hunk-sized penis. are they magical or maybe radiated pants? His pants are made of a superior form of Spandex. It is that simple.
Speaking about the pants issue, I have a theory that helps expla by drompter	Feb 7th, 2003 12:31:26 AM
because the tight pants squeeze his testicles...
Hulk green. Thats about all they got right. by JMJ	Feb 7th, 2003 09:51:22 PM
It is pretty sad to think that Lou Ferrigno with a bad wig and green paint looks about as good as the Hulk from the trailers I have seen. Seriously, anyone who can't instantly tell how out of place he looks in this trailer is so blind that they went past blind, got vision again, smoked some crack, and lost even more. It didnt look good. At all.

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The Brits have the New HULK Theatrical Trailer!

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