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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

Any chance we could see the original Eye? by Shan	Sep 10th, 2002 08:33:46 PM
Thought not. Looks like a trip to the VCD store in Asia (www.pokerindustries.com). The Ring remake BETTER be good.
Good lord... a Jiminy Glick flick? by AngusIsley	Sep 10th, 2002 09:08:33 PM
Could that be any more unnecessary? And why do I get the feeling I'll pay to see it?
Prizonaz of War? by Zarles	Sep 10th, 2002 09:23:31 PM
Is this a joke? Or, should I say, iz thiz? Robert Low Cash is right. Sorry, but I thought chain gangs didn't exist anymore...
LeAnn Rimes in THE GIRL WHO STRUCK OUT BABE RUTH? by KingKrypton	Sep 10th, 2002 11:14:10 PM
Well, so long as they wing a few fastballs off her head, it'll be all right. That girl's a spoiled brat to the Nth degree (which is a shame, because she looks SOOOOOOO good and she's got a great voice)....
Martin Short stole the "Jiminy Glick" voice from... by Christopher3	Sep 10th, 2002 11:31:56 PM
Bobby Short. They sort of look alike, too.
mandy moore by joe_buck	Sep 10th, 2002 11:34:37 PM
isn't mandy moore like an evangelical christian? wouldn't that mean she's risking eternal hellfire for being in a black comedy about religion?
Prizonaz of War by hudsucker	Sep 10th, 2002 11:51:53 PM
That is by far my favorite title for a movie pitch ever. I would love to see what type of jackass greenlighted that project. I bet he/she's the smarmiest suit in a land full of smarmy suits. As long as Ice-T is wooed into starring, I'll be in that theater!
All these movies are gold! by Nine-X	Sep 11th, 2002 12:41:52 AM
Yup... pure gold...
All these movies are gold! by Nine-X	Sep 11th, 2002 12:42:31 AM
Yup... pure gold...
Arthur C Clarke by Shan	Sep 11th, 2002 01:25:45 AM
... lives aroud the corner from my house in Sri Lanka. Next door to the Iraqi embassy. I kid you not.
I heard the sets for PIRATES OF THE CARRIBEAN (sp?) burnt down. by Cash Bailey	Sep 11th, 2002 03:40:55 AM
Maybe someone who sat through PEARL HARBOUR saw an opening and saved us the misery of another Schlockheimer disaster.
Prisonaz of What the Fuck? by Vegas	Sep 11th, 2002 09:51:06 AM
Oh well, at least Coolio can pay this month's rent.
Jiminy Glick is a really funny show... by BigTuna	Sep 11th, 2002 09:59:27 AM
I laughed everytime I watch it. I was wondering why Short has been running around the Toronto film fest as Glick all week.
Prisonaz of War is actually part 1 of a trilogy by rev_skarekroe	Sep 11th, 2002 10:00:19 AM
To be followed by "Missin' in Action, Bitch!" and "Concentration Camp Survivaz". sk
Does anyone get the animation? by rev_skarekroe	Sep 11th, 2002 10:01:12 AM
I must have missed the film this is based on. Unless he's some kind of surrealist King Kong? sk
atribiance - by mbeemer	Sep 11th, 2002 11:25:58 AM
"I would NEVER ever see a film with a Z at the end of the title" - then you'll never see David Cronenberg's "eXistenZ", which I thought was very diverting.
Just for the Glick record... by AngusIsley	Sep 11th, 2002 01:17:53 PM
The Glick voice, mannerisms and appearance were actually "ripped off" from Skip E. Lowe, a semi-notorious Hollywood public access figure. Short has owned up to the parody/homage in older interviews, but never does anymore. In a way, it's also a variation on Short's old Brock Linehan character, which was also a parody -- of a Canadian broadcaster.
Miscellaneous Thoughts of No Importance by Aquatarkusman	Sep 11th, 2002 01:26:22 PM
(1) Get that Naked Harry on a cube image out of my head! (2) I'll only see Pirates of the Caribbean if, in an arthouse move, the characters appear to be animatronic and do the same things over and over again for 100 minutes (3) Mona Lisa Smile is a Douglas Gibson joint, right? (4) All Dillinger remakes are irrelevant. Warren "Sgt. Hulka" Oates is the only Dillinger. (5) LeAnn Rimes--- feh (6) It's true! My awareness of "The Transporter" is growing exponentially!
Does anyone get the physics of the animation? by PORKY	Sep 11th, 2002 02:53:54 PM
I know it's from a Cheech and Chong movie, but I don't think Harry has the upper body strength to pull his 400+lb carcass up a moving elevator.
Thank you 20th Century fox! by Digzby	Sep 11th, 2002 04:49:23 PM
I was watching this foxy lady bending down the other day, and my awereness of the Transporter grew in my pants.
Ring remake by ThePoleOfJustice	Sep 11th, 2002 06:14:28 PM
The the appeal of the original RING was based purely on what they DIDN'T show you, so although it is indeed creepy as Hell, it would most likely get a PG 13 rating here in the States...frankly, I'm concerned that the remake will actually be too graphic.
Well sombody here already pointed it out .... by thecomedian	Sep 11th, 2002 07:54:49 PM
But I'll clarify that the disturbing Harry animation is from "Nice Dreams". Anywho, Sleazy G's been trying to get Buzz back on Weekly Recap and I've been wanting to talk to him about it too because this page feels totally empty without Maverik doing his speil satirizing all the trade tripe. But, so far no dice. So as a card carrying TL@ member and lover of great satire I'm gonna make a go at subbing for him this week. Every week some Buzz imitator usually crawls out of the wood work and takes a crack at it. So why the hell shouldn't I? Hopefully, you'll all laugh a little and maybe just maybe Maverik will read this and realize what he's missing. So without further ado, I give you...
The Comedian's Weekly Recap! by thecomedian	Sep 11th, 2002 07:55:20 PM
TAKEN FROM THE GHOST OF MY UNFULFILLED POTENTIAL...CASTING: Vin Diesel & Denise Richards have both signed on to star in an Action Adventure remake of WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF, for Warner Bros. In this updated version George & Martha are wealthy extreme sports enthusiast trying to kill each other in various scenarios while holding a teenage couple hostage. Charlie's Angels helmer McG is set to direct the pic...Sexy Hip Hop engenue Charli Baltimore has signed to star in UNBEWEAVABLE, an urban superhero vehicle about a timid inner city grade school teacher who gains superpowers after a mishap involving radioactive hair extentions, for Universal Pictures. M.Night Shamalan will direct. Irv Gotti will extort and intimidate him into giving him a co-director's credit... DIRECTOR/WRITER ATTACHMENTS: * Paul Verhoven will write and direct PERNKOPF'S ANATOMY, an irreverent, slapstick MAS*H-like satire about Nazi Doctors and their unwilling test subjects, for 20th Century Fox...and finally.. MISCELLANEOUS PRODUCTION TIDBITS: Hot on the heels of Warner Bros. recent SUPERMAN VS. BATMAN announcement another studio has announced plans to produce it's own dualing Superhero franchise that unlike the WB's will also double as a slightly fictionalized period piece/biopic. MOHAMMED ALI VS. EVIL KNIEVEL has gotten the greenlight at Sony with director Steven Soderberg currently attached. The film, set in 1976, involves the two iconic figures coming into conflict over whose ABC Wide World of Sports episodes get the biggest rattings. Once they're differences are sorted out they team up to battle Ali's old nemesis Howard Cosell who's inane rambling commentaries are putting each heroes audiences to sleep and the "The Agony of Defeat" skier guy. Will Smith has begun talks to reprise his role as the trash talking, two fisted demagogue. Matthew McConaughey is in talks to play the daredevil, alcoholic, womanizing, tax cheating sociopath...See you in the library.
Also... by ThePoleOfJustice	Sep 11th, 2002 08:31:36 PM
Isn't THE EYE running some occasional American dates? Huh...
Buzz Maverik's How To Do A Weekly Recap. by Buzz Maverik	Sep 12th, 2002 03:37:17 AM
See, the Comedian did it right. I'll tell you why. 1) It was fairly short. People hate to read and long stuff isn't funny. 2)They sound enough like real movies to make you go "wha'?". Avoid casting David Hasslehoff and Gary Coleman in a Michael Bay movie, for example. Too far out. If you make a Michael Bay movie joke, cast Ben Affleck or Wil Smith because those guys are always in Michael Bay movies. Also, try to avoid casting dead people because if the reader knows they're dead that's going to distract from the joke. Use current stars and directors. 3) The Comedian's stuff sounds like the real trades. Check some out and pay attention Elston's stuff. And remember, and I can't stress this enough 4) shorter is funnier. Just ask your girlfriend!

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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

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