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A Dad and his 13 Year Old Son see SPIDER-MAN!!!

Great: Part Dux! by Zucko	Apr 25th, 2002 06:32:19 AM
Man, I can't wait.
Spidey sense tingling all righty! by Bari Umenema	Apr 25th, 2002 06:41:56 AM
I have been waiting my whole life to see this movie. But I will wait until May 5th to see it. Friday and Saturday will be too damn crowded for me, I'll go to the 11 AM show Sunday morning. As for the Aunt May scene that is solely for the "You're not Superman you know" line they're using in the commercials.
"Don't make me Sam Rami, Gobby. You wouldn't like me wh by Tall_Boy	Apr 25th, 2002 07:06:01 AM
see? the joke only works when you use ANG LEE in it. wheeee. wow, considering how its 7 AM I should really go to bed.
What is that line from? by Jabbathenutt	Apr 25th, 2002 07:12:52 AM
You wouldn't like me when i am angry.... I can practically visualize the kid saying this line .... oh god someone help me out here ... who is it?
The "angry" line by RobinP	Apr 25th, 2002 07:20:22 AM
is from the "Hulk" tv series.
The "angry line" is also... by granhalcon	Apr 25th, 2002 07:54:18 AM
... from the first "Mission: Impossible" film. Said by a crooked Tom Cruise.
Wrong by SexyLexy	Apr 25th, 2002 08:11:30 AM
The line from Mission Impossible was "You've never seen me very upset."
Affleck also said that line in DOGMA. by Cash Bailey	Apr 25th, 2002 08:42:59 AM
Right before he twisted that cop's head around. I liked the Jason Lee\THE HOWLING line better, though.
"Angry" at its best" by Juggernaut125	Apr 25th, 2002 08:50:08 AM
Bill Bixby (aka David Banner from the live action Hulk TV Show): "Mr. McGee, don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." That is the official cultural reference. It works best when you use Ang Lee, instead of angry obviously because he's directing the Hulk and he's Asian where stereotypically 'R's' are replaced with 'L's'. Damn. Humour is wasted on the wrong people.
Thanks by Jabbathenutt	Apr 25th, 2002 09:19:20 AM
That's it - thanks!! For some reason i had it in my head that some creepy child actor said that in a movie a few years back. Dunno why.
quick qupping quandry by zippyramo	Apr 25th, 2002 09:20:33 AM
Oh god, so excited about the movie. If I had finals on friday I would skip them to see it. still a little worried. Tobey Maguire looks like he can make a great peter parker, but is he a great spider-man? Spider-Man is famous for his wise cracking. I haven't heard anything about that from any of the reviewers. Oh well, I have to learn to accept the differences. After all Batman movie was so damn good, and not at all acurate to the comic. So damn good. So very good
I just remembered by Jabbathenutt	Apr 25th, 2002 09:26:31 AM
I just remembered where i heard this. A local cable station ran an add where this skinny nerd was in a bar, and a big ass trucker dude made fun of him. The nerd says the line and starts grunting and groaning and shaking his head. But instead of turning into the hulk, he just high-tails it out the door.
Best Spidey Review... by Citizen_Dildo	Apr 25th, 2002 09:39:21 AM
...just as goood as Moriarty's. And don't forget: real dragons are supposed to be intelligent and talk!
Spiderman looks like a CARTOON by apostleX	Apr 25th, 2002 09:51:47 AM
Those effects TOTALLY look to fake to me. Worse than any CGI in the Star Wars films. I dont think I could get into it and let myself go. Why make a movie if the technology isn't there yet?
Apostle X- by RenoNevada2000	Apr 25th, 2002 10:08:49 AM

Apostle X- by RenoNevada2000	Apr 25th, 2002 10:16:32 AM
"Why make the movie if the technology isn't there yet?" What kind of bass ackward statement is that? In that case, why did they make the old Flash Gordon serials, when all the rockets looked fake with sparklers hanging off the back for rocket exhaust? It's a good thing they did because they are what inspired a certain filmmaker years later to make his own space epic and even if they effects weren't perfect millions, perhaps billions, of people have enjoyed his little films over the years. They're called "Star Wars" and maybe you've heard of them? Learn some film history, get a sense of perspective and then see if your statement doesn't come off as the mpost assinine thing said here in a while. (And for you to beat out all the Star Wars Vs Lord of the Rings flamers, that's really saying something.)
Multiple Viewings by TechLord	Apr 25th, 2002 10:37:53 AM
I actually took the day off work and plan on seeing it at least 5 times that day. Probably 3 or 4 more times that weekend. Sad, but I've never been this excited about a movie before and I intend to do my best to make it the smash hit it should be.
re: Juggernaut125 by pedant	Apr 25th, 2002 11:04:05 AM
Sounds like the punchline to a joke about Ang Lee posing for a cubist portrait: "Mr. Picasso, don't make me angly. You wouldn't like me when I'm angly."
Hey apostleX... by the twist-man	Apr 25th, 2002 11:13:21 AM
...pull your head out of your ass. Maybe then you won't sound quite as stupid.
GOLLY GEE WILLIKERS...I'M GUNNA SEE ET 23 TIMES THE FURST DA by clemwriter	Apr 25th, 2002 11:41:49 AM
Okay...If it's showing in a 72 screen multiplex on three screens and I buy tickets to every show and watch the first hour of each.... Got to remember to buy the popcorn and soda in the Spider-Man tub and cup, respectively (Mustn't deny Marvel a penny of my disposable fanboy income). NOOOOOO!!!! That's not enough viewings!!! Curse the fates, how will I ever put this movie over the top?!?! WAIT...What if I get those guys at the comic book store (You know, the ones who play Magic The Gathering all the time and don't bathe) and convince them to go...Surely they have a glow in the dark deck they could use during the movie!!! Still...not...enough....must.. .buy...more...tickets.... BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! (fanboy) BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
um, Deliciously Executed by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 25th, 2002 11:51:56 AM
Wow... that sounds SO gay. God this movie can't come soon enough. I bought tickets to see an early show next friday, and I told a co-worker and she decided she wanted to do the same thing. I was like, DORK, we can't BOTH be gone. I don't know what to do now.
I'm sorry? by Ernst Blofeld	Apr 25th, 2002 11:54:36 AM
Harry, you were in a park kissing a guy in a spiderman costume? Actually, on second thoughts I don't want to know. Is anyone worried that Harry's going off his rocker? I heard his Blade 2 review was going to be reprinted on rotten.com...
Hahaha! by tylerdurden	Apr 25th, 2002 11:59:14 AM
lol pedant :)
"The only film that comes close to this one is X-Men"- Ummm, yea by superhero	Apr 25th, 2002 12:39:14 PM
Sorry, kids, but X-Men was a bit on the lame side. First twenty minutes good...rest kinda OK but lame nonetheless...Jury's still out for me if you're gonna be comparing Spidey's flick to The X-Men flick...
you people are really saps if "awesome fx" can make you believe by theyak	Apr 25th, 2002 12:40:31 PM
yes, suspension of disbelief. he is a COMIC BOOK character after all. you people need to read books more often... stretch that brain a bit. (books are squarish things with paper bound in between two outer covers on which is printed letters grouped together to form words that one scans in an activity called "reading" by which the meaning of the words is transferred to the brain and there is formed into a mental picture via "imagination")
Aerosmith raped my childhood!!!! by Toranaga	Apr 25th, 2002 12:48:58 PM
What a horrid song. Yuck!
superhomo by almightysarlacc	Apr 25th, 2002 01:05:41 PM
"Um, the X-Men was, like, totally lame..." You probably thought Batman and Robin was a good movie.
A Maverik & His Three Year Old Son See Spider-Man. by Buzz Maverik	Apr 25th, 2002 01:20:37 PM
"Those are our seats. You people are going to have to move. We always sit here. Go on, and don't give me no bad looks, buddy, I can take you. And tell your girlfriend not to bother calling the manager 'cause I got film of him and the 16 year old popcorn girl so I can do whatever I want here....Here ya go, son. Goobers. Raisinettes. Sno Caps. Whoppers. M&Ms. Hot Tamales. Mike & Ikes. Jujyfruits. Junior Mints. Red Vines. Popcorn. Nachos. Dr. Pepper. Coke. Sprite. Mountain Dew. Who says hyperactivity is a bad thing? And a nice 12 pack of Corona and a fifth of Cuervo for Daddy! Now, son, don't start throwing stuff until the previews. Okay, you can climb over people's heads. If anybody gets pissed, tell 'em Daddy has a .45 on him....Is this movie scary? God, I hope so!...Miss Dunst's wet t-shirt scene? Yes, that's in it, but let's tell Mommy how we hated the organic webshooters... Yes, I think Spider Man could beat up Smallville. And Blade. Here's the previews! Crap!...Crap!...Crap!...Crap!. ..Crap!...Crap!...How does Bruckheimer keep getting away with that shit? Did Daddy tell you how Bruckheimer's people stole a shitload of major action beats from one of Daddy's screenplays and plugged 'em into ENEMY OF THE STATE? Oh, a million times, eh?...Crap!... I heard the guy in that movie is gay...And the guy in that one is a junkie...And the chick in this one did some felony shoplifting...Hey, lady, don't tell me to shut! These are just the previews...Crap!...Okay, son, it's good and dark. Go open the EXIT door and let your mother in."
Jesus, Buzz, what kind of weird ass redneck are you??? by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 25th, 2002 01:30:00 PM
Real Buzz Mavericks are intelligent and talk.
I guess everyone assumed the guy screaming 'plant' was b by AaronHayden	Apr 25th, 2002 01:48:49 PM
Because, otherwise, I'm sure someone would have pointed out this is a Sony movie, not AOL TimeWarner, and Marvel, unlike DC, is not owned by them either. But I won't point that out either because I'm sure he was just being sarcastic.
Ozzy Ozbourne Attacks Aunt May? by LouGehrig	Apr 25th, 2002 01:54:10 PM

There, There, BurlIvesLeftNut, Now Don't You Feel A Little B by Buzz Maverik	Apr 25th, 2002 02:08:12 PM
Feel free to get out all your frustrations and insecurities and feelings of inadequatecy on me, buddy. I know it must be pretty awful being you -- named after another man's testicle and all-- and you're feeling pretty bad about yourself and your life, and taking shots at me sort of makes you feel a little more powerful for about half a second. This is a good way to get out those aggressions, the internet and all, because you're sitting at a computer and it's not like the real world where people laugh in your face (please don't me hurt by that; I'm trying to help and the first step is getting you to face the truth) and maybe smack you in the head. Now, I know you're probably worried about hurting my feelings or making me feel as bad about myself as you feel about yourself. You just stop yourself right there, mister. I'm a big boy. I can handle it. I won't be hurt at all, what with you being inconsequential and meaningless and me not caring what you think. So fire away! We'll raise your self esteem levels yet!
Strengths and weaknesses. by rabid_republican	Apr 25th, 2002 02:13:51 PM
Thought this was a well tempered review. I note once more that this film, although flawed is still enough to keep the masses returning for more. The kids are big on it and I'm certain the kid in all of us (y'know, the one who'll sit amicably for hours on any given Sunday afternoon, paging through your latest copy of AMS) will be too. Confess I too share Harry's fever pitch anticipation.
that review is dy-no-mite! Seriously, its ex-cel-lent! by Insane Tiki	Apr 25th, 2002 02:14:26 PM
Ah, just kidding. Sounds like he enjoyed the movie a lot, which is the most anyone can ask for, right? I'm really amped to see Spider-Man, even if the soundtrack does suck. Trust me, you haven't heard anything until you've heard Aerosmith's version of the classic "Spider-Man" TV show theme. "SPIIIIDER MAN, SPIIIIIDER MAN! DOES WHATEVER... A SPIIIIDER CAN! YOW!"
"Real Buzz Mavericks Are Intelligent & Talk". by Buzz Maverik	Apr 25th, 2002 02:16:48 PM
If I were intelligent (and could talk) that statement would probably make some sense to me, but probably not. Nut, it's M-A-V-E-R-I-K, not M-A-V-E-R-I-C-K, but who am I to criticize spelling when there's a typo in my last post (I typed "me" instead of "be", part of my ego trip). But remember, real BurlIvesLeftNuts are kind of shrivelled and undescended.
Buzz by bezman1	Apr 25th, 2002 02:17:58 PM
Who died and made you Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons?
"best introducing of a superhero ever" ....ok when you don`t con by drjones	Apr 25th, 2002 02:21:52 PM

This talkback is messed... by The Chucker	Apr 25th, 2002 02:32:46 PM
But who cares. Buzz is so funny!! C'mon, you're all thinking it! Out.
What's LOTR got to do with anything?? by The Chucker	Apr 25th, 2002 02:35:28 PM
At least make sense when you're whining....
Crimewave dvd? by Declan_Swartz	Apr 25th, 2002 02:37:11 PM
When will the Raimi/Coen Bros. movie Crimewave be available on dvd? It is not perfect, but it is the precursor to The Hudsucker Proxy
Spidey & AOTC!! by darth_cheerios	Apr 25th, 2002 03:03:37 PM
I hope both Star Wars and Spiderman do well...sounds like a good Spidey review..I just look at Tobey Maguire though and see Darlene (Sara Gilbert) from Roseanne. The resemblence is uncanny. The guy just doesnt seems like the Spiderman I grew up on. I hope he pulls it off though.
that theme music.... by donaldsutherland	Apr 25th, 2002 03:08:15 PM
from the spidey on electric company was the cathciest tune ever....even got sampled by Timbaland and Magoo....speaking of electric company, when are we going to get a Yeti movie..?....and will someone please make Pufnstuff soon....i'm in my bathrobe, smoking a hashpipe and growing a new mustache.....enjoy your weekend, dorks....
Chucker..... by Psynapse	Apr 25th, 2002 03:11:02 PM
I agree, Buzz is a RIOT. Keep it comin' Mr. Maverik! (see? some of us can spell)The LOTR reference is actually a snide fanboy allusion.
Thanks To The Chucker & Psynapse! Oh, Bezman, You Got Me A Good by Buzz Maverik	Apr 25th, 2002 03:27:47 PM
...is that it was a complete non-sequitur and didn't have anything to do with anything here! I'm a big fan of you surrealist humorists. You're probably a writer on THE SIMPSONS, or at least one of the characters, because no way could a civilian be THAT funny! I especially appreciated your use of irony, the part where you used the "who died and made you--". Were you spoofing Ann Landers?
re-phrase on Spidey "CARTOON" look. by apostleX	Apr 25th, 2002 04:29:22 PM
Let me re-phrase my comment made earlier. When I asked "Why did they make it , if the technology wasn't ther yet?", I said it wrong. What I'm saying is that to me and to many others it is beyond obvious that the scenes where Spidey is flying around the city are CGI. Now, I can live with some of that. I thought some CGI characters in Phantom Menace looked believable, while others looked terrible and very "cartoony" (Boss Nass). Im not against Spider-Man in anyway but the footage I've seen in the trailers is so unbelievable to me in the movements that I cannot take it seriously. Im not for HALTING the progress of film. Im glad filmakers in the past have pushed the boundaries, but I just think in this case that maybe they were trying something that ultimately FAILS and so why have bothered? Why shoot so high if in the end it's gonna look FAKE. Christopher Reeve doesn't look fake in SUPERMAN when he's flying. It doesn't matter how much technology you throw at something, if it looks fake it looks fake. Sometimes the cheaper less, lower technology still works better.
I think the CGI Spidey ads to a comic-booky aspect of it by Tall_Boy	Apr 25th, 2002 04:41:31 PM
seriously, this way you can see him to all of the freaky twists, jumps and superhuman leaps that you couldn't pull off with the standard "hang an actor infront of a blue screen and let him fly". I admit, the flying in the Superman flicks intergrates better and it does look more realistic, but it leads to a more boring visual presentation. With the CGI Spidey, he can finally do all the cool stuff we see him do in the comics. Besides, its a comic book movie, who said it has to mirror reality, its got freakin Pumpkin bombs in it for God's Sake.
If you wore a spider-suit under your clothes all the time, would by Christopher3	Apr 25th, 2002 04:50:31 PM
I would. Plus, it'd be difficult to pee.
DARTH Cheerios... by empyreal0	Apr 25th, 2002 04:53:29 PM
"I just look at Tobey Maguire though and see Darlene (Sara Gilbert) from Roseanne. The resemblence is uncanny." OH MY GOD... I just looked at a fairly recent photo of her ( http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Event s/0831-hig/gilberts.ara ) and realized with horror that you're right. God, and Sara Gilbert was always fucking hot to me, dunno why... That will creep me out every time I see an image of either of them, now.
christopher3 by empyreal0	Apr 25th, 2002 04:55:09 PM
Would it be really hot? Maybe. It would probably be like the mormons and their "sacred undergarments..." Ask a mormon.
Question by kgbmanx	Apr 25th, 2002 05:03:48 PM
I know that Spiderman will be a great film, but what I really want to know is when The X-Men Sequel is coming out.....
X-Men lameness? sorta... by empyreal0	Apr 25th, 2002 05:06:23 PM
The actors were superbly cast and most did a wonderful job as their characters... but the script really was quite lacking. Who didn't groan in agony at the frog and lightning line delivered by Storm? If Monster's Ball isn't any indication that Halle Berry can actually act, then I don't know what is. I s'pose the screenwriters have to be commended on their ability to tell so many character's stories in such a short time - but Magneto's device at the end was just pure cheese. Bring on X-Men 2 and the Sentinels. Now THIS is what it's all about (assuming they're going to be giant robots and not Matrix agents - that DID get cleared up, right?)
Hey lay off of Buzz.... by Bad Guy	Apr 25th, 2002 05:54:23 PM
He da man!! And Spidey looks like it's gonna rock! What's with all the whining about the CGI? I don't know if some of you are aware of this, but real humans can't move like Spider-man. It's just not possible. So in order to make him appear to move the way we've always seen him move in the comics and various cartoon series, they had to do it in CGI. It doesn't look totally convincing to you because our eyes are trained to spot a real human from a fake one. We "believed" the dinosaurs in Jurrasic Park because we've never seen real dinosaurs in action. Maybe someday the technology will be there that can trick us into thinking that we're seeing a real human, but it's not quite there yet. So what're we gonna do? Wait another ten years or so until the technology is there or enjoy our damn Spider-man movie now. I say give us Spidey now with the best f/x that are available. Would you prefer the 70's TV version f/x?? Stuntman obviously being pulled up the sides of buildings on wires. I was there folks, in the 70's that is, it wasn't pretty. Peace.
The Soundtrack doesn't suck, Aerosmith and Sum 41 suck by SilenceofFreedom	Apr 25th, 2002 06:19:49 PM
"Bother" by Corey Taylor and "hero" by chad kroeger are really good. Haven't heard the strokes, the hives or the pete yorn songs yet, but all three of those bands are great. Even though pete yorn isn't a band. But anyway, not the point.
And the guy didn't compare it to x-men, he said the only thi by SilenceofFreedom	Apr 25th, 2002 06:22:08 PM
He's just saying that spider-man was so good, the only thing CLOSE is x men, which isn't that close, thus making spidey better. Get it ?
Not trying to hurt your feelings B (-b + sc) uzz, really, althou by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 25th, 2002 06:28:45 PM
I am seriously interesting in knowing what kind of weird ass redneck you are. You're post was just, um, bizaar. More power to you, though.
Don'cha Love It When They Come Back For More? Actually, Burl by Buzz Maverik	Apr 25th, 2002 06:46:08 PM
The one where you said you got tickets to SPIDER MAN for May 3 and a co-worker was going to do the same and you wondered what you were going to do. I just wanted you to know how FASCINATING I found that. You're right. That's the sort of thing that should fill these talkbacks. I appreciate you not wanting to hurt my feelings, but don't worry, you can't hurt my feelings. I just never give a heckler the last word. I really got a kick out of the (-B +sc)uzz thing. So keep up the really interesting posts and the really funny jokes. (BTW, 6 to 1 the chick goes to see SPIDER-MAN and BurlIvesMissingNut here stays and works).
This is a plant! by Blue Devil	Apr 25th, 2002 07:02:06 PM
'nuff said
almightysarlacc you're a complete moron... by superhero	Apr 25th, 2002 07:47:44 PM
Didn't use the word "totally" or "like" anywhere in my post and for you to be calling people homo and thinking that's derogatory shows how much of a backwater, repressed, teeny bopper, homophobic f#@khead you really are. Please pull your head out of your ass. I'm sure your family won't be embarrassed of you anymore if you do. Oh, and while you do that try and learn a bit about filmmaking. X-Men was a lame film. Not horrible, but lame. Live with it and accept it and move on. Seriously, using "homo" as an insult. Go back to the eighties you IDIOT! Stop masturbating over your mint Wolverine issue # 1 and join the real world...
This guys on crack... by Halloween68	Apr 25th, 2002 07:49:16 PM
Either that or he's really young, so he doesn't know any better, which disproves the idea of him having a kid. Check that. This day and age, who knows... Anyways, anybody who's anybody knows the best comic book adaptation is Superman, the movie. X-Men is not even close. After Superman, you got to go with Batman; Tim Burton's visuals, Jack Nickolson's Joker, and Danny Elfman's soaring theme. Then at number three I'd vote for the first Blade. Very sound movie, exciting and blood thirsty; not for the kiddies... Very bold. Then maybe fourth I'd say X-Men. And even then I'd push hard for Raimi's other super hero flick. The very underrated Darkman. Yeah, it's corny, it looks cartoonish. So what? That's the point. Darkman was what Raimi wanted it to be. It was fun, dark, and stylish. Not to mention original. Don't knock the man for trying something new. We'll forgive him for his other comic book venture. The lesser well known M.A.N.T.I.S. Anyways, X-Men was entertaining but don't kid yourself. It wasn't that good. None of this though stops me from hoping Spiderman becomes the new standard for comic book adaptations.
Keep 'Em Coming, Buzz by MattmanReturns	Apr 25th, 2002 08:49:51 PM
Anyone taking offense to this guy needs to shuttup and learn how to have a good time. However, on the plus side, he gets to respond to all the freaks who somehow feel insulted by his initial post, which provides for more humor.
Hey Buzz by fladnaG	Apr 25th, 2002 09:06:44 PM
When that left nut guy wrote "Real Buzz Mavericks are intelligent and talk" that comes from the Reign of Fire talkback about dragons. Some goofy bastard was complaining how "Real dragons are intelligent and talk". I didn't know if you knew that or not, I couldn't tell by your response post. If you did already know that then I apologize a thousand times over and offer a shot of bushmills irish whiskey as a sign of my good faith. Thats really all I got. Keep the laughs coming.
A rant aimed at jerkwad PLANT whiners... by The Chucker	Apr 25th, 2002 09:33:14 PM
Why is anybody screaming PLANT?? Is it possible for a freaking movie reviewer to actually ENJOY a movie?? And if he doesn't, there's always the same number of people ready to rip him apart for being too critical. If everybody liked the same things, there's a chance we would all be like YOU!! I shudder to think.
While I'm at it... by The Chucker	Apr 25th, 2002 09:36:24 PM
Wouldn't (Buzz -B +Sc)= uzzsc?? Ranting mode to shut down in 3 - 2 - 1.
Sticky fingers... by The Chucker	Apr 25th, 2002 10:06:35 PM
Maybe there are no gloves, just paint or makeup or something. huh?
thin gloves by fladnaG	Apr 25th, 2002 11:19:09 PM
I'm probably wrong but I thought that the costume, or at least the gloves, were very thin and that allowed him to stick on the walls.
Buzz Maverik by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 26th, 2002 12:16:41 AM
You are right... my female co-worker will go and see spider-man opening day... because I am her lead and because I am a gentlemen, I will let her have her fun. But she better watch out... well not really. There is nothing to watch out for because I am not revenge minded person. And by the way Buzz (Your posts are always, um, entertaining), I honestly have nothing against you... I just SERIOUSLY want to know what kind of weird ass redneck you are. So tell me god damn it!
Buzz Maverik by Billy Talent	Apr 26th, 2002 01:25:27 AM
Basically the only reason anyone still comes to this place.
Buzz cant be a redneck by MimiRogers3rdNip	Apr 26th, 2002 01:41:04 AM
Rednecks cant spell. Although my ex was a redneck and she did fairly well, trailer trash, low class, kentucky whore that she was! So, I suppose its possible he's a redneck but I doubt he's a low class, trailer trash, kentucky whore.
One question that is never addressed in the reviews... by Saviano	Apr 26th, 2002 03:17:35 AM
...does Spidey wisecrack during the fights? That is one important element of the comics that some of the numerous writers didn't get right. (Bendis gets it though) Organic weeb-shooters, Goblin's costume, the wole Mary Jane & Gwen Stacy thing- I can live with these changes from the original. But if Spidey is not cracking wise and making me laugh while he beats the snot out of the baddies, then I will be dissapointed. Another thing, completely off topic, everyone wants to compare comic book movies but I've yet to see a single mention of Conan the Barbarian (the Destroyer sucked ass). Did everyone forget this little gem of a movie?
Unca Buzz... when's you gonna stomp this here li'l basta by LlGHTST0RMER	Apr 26th, 2002 05:54:32 AM
Oh, 'tis a sad, sad day when the Buzz must resort to antagonism to communicate. His has always been the voice of reason... the silly voice, but one of reason. I recall the days when Buzz would be the one to step in to end such a horrible melee, and could do so with a charming flourish never before witnessed on AICN, nor ever since. Alas, it seems that that golden daylight of our friendly, spritely Buzz has thus ended, and the night of the EVIL, war-like Buzz has enveloped us. What happens to us all now? What shall we do? To whom shall we turn to seek guidance and peacefulness in these muddy battlefields of the TalkBacks?? Oh, fie! I BLAME YOU, BurlIve'sLeftNut! YOU brought this day upon us! Damn you, you westward testicle! Damn you to hell!! Oh, God! Now I'M taking a stance of attack! YOU SLIMY LITTLE SHIT! I didn't want to get this way! Unhhh.... Auuggghhhh!! My brains!! BURLIVE'SLEFTNUT! You don't deserve to smell my shit! Calling you a retard is an insult to short bus riders everywhere! If I were in an empty room with you, I'd have to FART to clear the air! If your momma was five dollars cheaper, I could'a been your DADDY! AAUUUGGGHHHH!!!! MUST STOP FIGHTING! Unnnnhhhh!!!!
morons by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 26th, 2002 07:50:01 AM
I am not trying to antagonize Buzz! Jesus, you people have such thin skins for the guy. Go back and read his post about taking his kid to the movie. Tell me that doesn't SMACK of being a redneck. I have been coming to this site for a LONG time and I have no problem with Buzz. I am only fucking around, so get a grip. Your just a bunch of pathetic losers screaming "NERD FIGHT! NERD FIGHT!". If I was gonna pick a fight with someone, I know how to do that. I made odietamo cry one day in a Farscape talkback, so I know what I am doing. Buzz, I am still curious as to what kind of weird ass... oh never mind, you won't answer anyway.
Burl, It's quite simple: Buzz Maverik is by TimBenzedrine	Apr 26th, 2002 08:20:43 AM
everything that you are not and never could be. That's all you need to know.
Evil Reader... by The Chucker	Apr 26th, 2002 10:25:41 AM
Thank you for the nice e-mail, but I still don't understand what LOTR has to do with the dad and his kid or the Spider-man review. I wasn't aware that LOTR was even a topic in this Talkback. Awaiting your enlightened reply, The Chucker.
what is up with this buzz love (-love +weiner) fest?! by grammarcop	Apr 26th, 2002 10:39:12 AM

lay off CGI by Toshlines	Apr 26th, 2002 11:40:55 AM
Too much CGI does not a bad movie make. Bad direction, scripts and editing together with terminally unfunny acting make a bad movie. If Jar Jar had actually been likable and Anakin a better written and acted part the whole cgi-bad thing would have passed by. At a push you can say the whole techincal thing can unbalance a filmmaker's artisitc vision but that's not the fault of CGI. Its a loss of focus.
Saw the HBO "First Look"... by Kid Z	Apr 26th, 2002 12:23:17 PM
... God do the webslinging scenes look fake. In some scenes (especially the ones where Peter is chasing Uncle Ben's murderer) I was wondering just when, exactly, did Spider-Man guest star on "Reboot"? Most of the webslinging scenes weren't that bad, but they all looked very unconvincing. Though fake-looking, they did have some merit. Interestingly, all the night time scenes of Spidey looked like 3D-animated Steve Ditko illustrations, while the daylight scenes looked like John Romita Sr. (Which I thought was cool!). As fake as the CGI Spidey looked, I peferred the CGI version over the live-action version. Let's face it, that costume is just hideously ridiculous, as is the Goblin armor. I think the costumes will turn out to be the worst problem of this film. Acheson really dropped the ball by designing not one, but two of the worst costumes in comic-film history. Any time either of these characters attempts to speak, the result is just ludicrous, like a bad Japanese kiddie show. The actors have to settle with nodding their heads up and down like two hand puppets operated by a street performer and it just looks terribly amateurish. Why in the world Raimi chose an actor with one of the most expressive faces in the business (Dafoe), then hid it behind an unmoving plastic mask is just beyond my understanding. I sure hope there's something to this movie beyond the failed special effects in order to bring in the audience.
Jabbathenutt, RE "angry" line by Drath	Apr 26th, 2002 12:39:02 PM
I know exactly what you mean! I know that line was in something, and I'm not thinking of the Hulk TV show because I'm certain it was said by a KID. And it was more recent than that old show anyway. I can't be sure, but I keep thinking it was Haley Joel Osment in the Sixth Sense, but that doesn't seem right either. Dangit. Come on, Tallboy, what the hell were you paraphrasing from!
King Kong: READ THE POST YOU IDIOT! by superhero	Apr 26th, 2002 12:46:47 PM
Hey, moron, nowhere in my post did I say or even infer that NO ONE could have enjoyed X-Men. I also NEVER made ANY attempt at "forcing" my opinion down anyone's throat you feeble minded simp! I just said X-Men was a lame film and it IS. It's not great, it's not horrible, it's just sorta there...except for Mr. Jackman's Wolverine...he made the first 20 minutes of the movie but that's it! Lame script and partially lame casting and HORRIBLE action sequences make for a tepid movie and that's what X-Men was. Now if you enjoyed it that's fine and, y'know, it was OK I guess but don't try and make it out to be like this great superhero/sci-fi epic film 'cause it's not. It's just there. And, no offense to you, but I demand more from my movie going experience than lame assed non-threatening mega-villains who wanna turn everyone into mutants on Ellis Isle...I mean that little plot wouldn't have even made it into the X-Men comic book! So anyway, read posts before you bash people. F#@kheads like you are what's wrong with the talkbacks...
Fortunately, Mary Jane Doesn't Say "Face It , Tiger, You Hit by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 12:51:14 PM
EXT. MAKE OUT POINT -- NIGHT PAN along a line of rocking vehicles including the Fantasticar, The Batmobile, The Quin Jet, The Arrow Car and The Mach 5. At the edge of the cliff, we tilt down to find the Spider Mobile parked vertically on the cliff face. TIGHT on Spider-Man and M.J. making out. MJ:"So where'd you get the hip-happenin' wheels, man-o-mine?" PETE: "Man-o-mine? Oh. You mean me. Uh, these two auto designers, Carter & Lombard built it and are paying me to promote it for 'em. I got Johnny Storm to help me modify it with the web cannons and the wall-sticking wheels." MJ: "P.P., Tiger, you're turning this chicks ravishing red head." PETE:"You know, Mary Jane, it's a good thing you're hot or you couldn't get away with talking like that." MJ:"Gentle Gwen may whisper sweet nothings, but, Tiger, Mary Jane is something else." PETE:"Yeah. Listen, M.J., you're going to have to stop with that speech pattern or--" MJ:"Or what, Petey? We stop what we're doing?" PETE:"No, I don't want to stop, believe me, I don't want to stop. But, I'll have to keep pausing so I can look at you and remind myself I'm not feeling up Stan Lee."
Buzz Maverik, you're my hero by bezman1	Apr 26th, 2002 01:49:06 PM
Buzz - I want to be the man that you have become in the talk back forums. I want to be able to casually allude to the vehicles of various super heroes and fantasize about a make-out point where Mary Jane and Peter Parker can make out next to Lois Lane and Superman. I want to be adored by the legions of other comic book fans who think they should be considered serious literature. I want to show my mental prowess and higlight my bellicose attitude by boldly declaring I never let a heckler have the last word. I want to be able to spend my free time coming up with stream-of-conciousness stories that show me as a keeper of pedophilic films, a homophobe and a loser drunk. Unfortunately, I can't. Because as you so astutely pointed out, I obviously spend my time writing for The Simpsons and plagiarizing Ann Landers. Buzz - you win, you are the epitome of all that is aint-it-cool-news.com. Congratulations on all of your accomplishments. Everyone is proud of you. Keep reaching for the stars.
Sarcasm? by The Chucker	Apr 26th, 2002 02:04:24 PM

I'm No Hero, Bezman. I Just An Average Joe... by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 02:21:02 PM
...out here trying to make sense out of a sensless world. I'm just like everyone else. I just want to make a living, spend time with my family, laugh, enjoy a little entertainment, eat my weight in peyote, and make this world a better place. Does this make me a hero? I don't think so. Supermarket checkers, cab drivers, pizza guys...they're the real heros. I will admitt to one heroic thing: I've improved YOUR writing. Haven't I, Bezman? Look at your post yesterday, compared to todays. You worked harder on todays. You made yourself better because I made you better. Now, we have to work on this need you have to insult people who haven't done anything to you (except refuse to tolerate your stupidity-- sorry, but it had to be said). I suggest a rigid program of self improvement combined with constant self-praise. The effects will be much longer lasting than when you put someone else down. This is because your put downs are meaningless and have no effect themselves, because you, in turn, are meaningless and have no effect yourself. I'm just glad to be here and be your mentor. We'll make a man out of you yet and get you through these not-so-fresh days you're experiencing.
Jeez. Somebody Got Mommy To Buy 'Em A Thesaurus Yesterday. by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 02:26:18 PM
That Bezman churched it up real good, di'n't he, gang?
This Is Fun! Gimme Somebody Else. Burl, Ask Me What Kind Of Weir by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 02:31:13 PM
It IS pretty funny the way you keep asking that. Watch, me and Burl'll turn out to be best buddies...Yeah, I don't believe it either. Theater of the Mind, baby. Theater of The Mind. Which means Bezman is waiting for it to come to cable.
Backing up Buzz by Aquafresh	Apr 26th, 2002 02:33:07 PM
...not that he needs it. Actually, Buzz, to my recollection, has never resorted to homophobic remarks in regards to hecklers, and I have never read anything that would indicate a penchant for pedophilia. If you are going to try to lambaste him, don't just make stuff up.
Dude, take your meds. by Christopher3	Apr 26th, 2002 03:14:22 PM

all_that_matters: re: "spidey script" by empyreal0	Apr 26th, 2002 03:15:41 PM
Yeah, yeah... the philosophy of art is very interesting and all, but what the fuck does it have to do with the Spiderman movie? I think you've posted to the wrong forum.
I wonder... by TimBenzedrine	Apr 26th, 2002 03:19:07 PM
I wonder what All That Matters wil do once he realizes that he just posted his freshman thesis on AICN and sent his Spider-Man sex fantasy story to his Philosophy professor.
Buzz Maverik = Super Genius? by bezman1	Apr 26th, 2002 03:29:02 PM
You're right again, Buzz. My posts ARE meaningless. Therefore, I AM meaningless. Your use of the associative property was delightful. Your prowess at basic mathematical concepts is superb. Unfortunately I can't say the same for your grammar. Exactly where did you go to become a man? Was it at the comic book convention where you were awarded for your fan fiction? Or was it at your League of Super Heroes role playing match where you finally beat Lex Luthor at his own game? Either way, let me know what it was you did to have people like "Ocho" , "The Chucker" and "Bad Guy" hanging on your every word and "defending your honor" as if you were some sort of damsel in distress. To Ocho: Buzz never used hompohobic or pedophilic remarks to put people down, he just uses them in his fantasy stories - Read his first post in this forum.
Credit where it's due by Strawhenge	Apr 26th, 2002 03:40:09 PM
Deceiver! Bez, it was I who defeated Lex Luthor using Super-Ventriloquism in conjunction with the rarely-seen PENultimate Nullifier (a bottle of SHOUT stain-lifter spiked with a urine sample culled from The Living Eraser). It was glorious!
See, If Bezman & I Can Agree On The Fact That He Is Meaningless, by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 03:43:15 PM
Oops, Bezman will "think" that's an anti-semetic remark. Bezzy, quick question? If you don't like comic books or comic book fans, why are you at a talkback about a comic book movie where people who like comic books are going to be? That's just making yourself miserable for no reason (and you are miserable, aren't you, Bezman?), which is just neurotic. Perhaps you like to fight. Obviously, I do too, so I'm pretty much controlling everything you're writing in a way. You're doing what I want. Also, is it just me, or is Bezman trying to sound like me? You know, detached, droll, amused. You have to mix things up a little, Bezman. This last post of yours sounded too much like the one before it. That just comes off as trying too hard. As for where you go to become a man, I'm glad you asked because you've clearly never been there.
Bez funnier than Buzz - this time. by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 26th, 2002 03:46:08 PM
Way to go Bezman... I think you're funny. Not that it means much. Oh, and seriously, Buzz... what kind of weird ass redneck are you anyway?
Who is the real Buzz Maverik? by Billy Talent	Apr 26th, 2002 03:47:51 PM
Who is the real Buzz Maverik? We may never know. My guess is he's a guy who lives somewhere, and he maybe has a job or something and he does stuff. Apparently he can operate a computer, and he seems to have a fair grasp of the English language. Probably his name isn't really Buzz Maverik and he might not do all of the things he says he does on the Internet. There seems to be an element of humor and even exaggeration in some of his postings, as though not everything he writes is intended seriously. Possibly he has different types of relationships with different people (i.e. friendly, romantic, professional, familial, etc.) His postings under AICN 'Spider-Man' talkbacks would suggest an interest in comic books and movies. He's hinted that he may prefer certain comics and movies to others. Similarly, he might have varying tastes in music, food, clothing and other areas. The ultimate irony? Those who actually know the man may not be aware of his Internet postings under the pseudonym of Buzz Maverik. An enigma wrapped in an enigma, he could even be BurlIvesLeftNut's neighbor and they might never know. We won't get started on BurlIvesLeftNut, except to say that in my studied opinion that's probably a pseudonym as well.
Also, I Agree With Schopenhauer When He Said A) Music Is The Mos by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 03:51:06 PM
2)the CGI IS cartoonish but in a good way and D) Bezman is a complete tool.
buzz by grammarcop	Apr 26th, 2002 03:56:50 PM
"[s]o I'm pretty much controlling everything you're writing in a way...?" hmmmmmm. a bit over the top and not very effective.
not a pseudonym by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 26th, 2002 03:58:58 PM
this is my REAL name... And, also, BUZZ... what kind of weird ass redneck are you?
Actually, Billy Talent's Post & (Yes) Burl's Last Post W by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 04:00:41 PM
than me or Bezzo. And I'll answer the question, BurlIvesLeftNut. Not to get all this crap started again but since you asked...What kind of weird ass redneck am I? Well, according to your mother, I'm very satisfying...I'm sorry. To paraphrase Dick Vernon, you mess with the buzz you get the stinger.
HA! Got you! I don't have a mother! by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 26th, 2002 04:04:13 PM
Worst. Talkback. Ever.
I'm Sure We All Agree That We Can Safely Ignore Anyone Who C by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 04:04:44 PM
But keep paying attention to me.
does anyone else see this? by grammarcop	Apr 26th, 2002 04:05:38 PM
i think buzz and leftnut are falling for each other.
Yeah, Burl, The Old Lady Doesn't Want To Admitt To Knowing Y by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 04:07:09 PM
...I'll be back later. I DO other things once in awhile, you know.
Clarification? by bezman1	Apr 26th, 2002 04:12:57 PM
Buzz, you meant anti-semItic, right? Or are there Semetics out there somewhere that are being disparaged? Do they perhaps exist in the strange fantasy world you call manhood? A world created from the fantasies derived from the forbidden magazines you hide between the mattress and box spring of your twin bed in the basement of your parents' house. Or the worlds you have created as Dungeon Master? By the way, your comment that I'm a tool was a real zinger, very well thought out and informed. Nice job again. Will we ever reach the bottom of the abyss known as your wit? I think not.
Where are my pills? by Billy Talent	Apr 26th, 2002 04:24:24 PM
Has anyone seen my pills?
"Daddy, why does that lady have boobies like mommy's?" by Knightwing2040	Apr 26th, 2002 04:27:17 PM
Please excuse my sophomoric comment, but have you guys seen the wet t-shirt shot? OW GOD!!! That automatically earns a $9 ticket!
KnightWing, I know exactly what you mean, by TimBenzedrine	Apr 26th, 2002 05:52:38 PM
It's less like buying a ticket and more like paying a cover charge. ---What do you mean, have we seen it ? Are you new around here?
131st!!!!! (Yes I counted; it's a slow day at the office) by helvis	Apr 26th, 2002 06:06:18 PM
The special effects could not be nearly as bad as the ones from those tv movies in the '70s. I am jacked and pumped for this flick!
Thanks, Sherlock! Glad You're Here! And Since We KNOW Bezman by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 07:02:50 PM
...Bezbian, old chum, the problem with making it a point to call attention to someone else's typos and spelling errors is that you leave yourself wide open. This isn't Freshman Comp, something you will take once you get out of English 0100. But since you keep referring to my original post, which really bunched up your pantyhose for some reason, I'll refer to your first one today with such gems as "higlight my bellicose" and my personal favorite "plagiarizing Ann Landers". Also, I want to explain to you why several cool people in the talkbacks have sided with me and the only one who said anything about you was Burl (and let's face it, that's only because Burl and I butted heads yesterday and I'm pretty sure we're cool today). Think about this. Take the weekend, I know you won't anything else to do. I'm a happy person. I have fun here. I'm nice to people unless they're, y'know, tools like you. You are clearly unhappy and nothing you can say is going to make anyone here think otherwise because we've all known people like you and nobody who is happy acts like you do. You started this crap with a stupid Simpsons Comic Book Store Guy joke, but guess what...you sound more like the Comic Book Guy than anyone I've ever read here. I don't care whether you like my posts. I don't care anything about you except that you're amusing me now and when you cease being amusing, you'll be easy to ignore. The only reason I'm bothering with this is that I think most of us have been in situations with people like you who didn't get jokes that we made at our own expenses and this is a chance to say something about that. See, Bezialbub, I can make a joke at my own expense because I'm secure. It doesn't do anything to me. You would never make a joke at your expense because you are transparently insecure. You're using everything you have to its fullest and it still isn't working for you, which is the funniest joke of all.
The Buzz Is Back! by Billy Talent	Apr 26th, 2002 07:07:58 PM
Seriously man, did you take my pills?
Also, Sherlock Holmes, I Should Point Out That Chuck Is One Of T by Buzz Maverik	Apr 26th, 2002 07:25:40 PM
It's Bezman who's the tool. Well, that's what Schopenhauer said anyway and who am I to argue with Schopenhauer.
you know, my pa gave me some advice on my wedding day by kojiro	Apr 26th, 2002 07:51:24 PM
Never, under any circumstances, step to Buzz. He told me I would understand one day, and damned if it isn't clear to me now.---------Seriously Harry, you've got to put Buzz on the payroll. After a couple of weeks the tb's can grow quite tiresome, and he becomes the sole reason to return to this site.
actually, Buzz by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 26th, 2002 08:56:58 PM
I never had a problem with you in the first place. It's true. Really. I just asked an innocent question that apparently got WAY under your skin. For reference, for those who may have just tuned in, the question was, "What kind of weird ass redneck are you?" Because, despite that so many people claim to adore you humor (i.e. sucking shit out of your ass), I found what you wrote to be, um, grody. Anywho, I did indeed think a few of Bez's comments were funny. I think he was trying too hard at the finish though. But Buzz, where you lost me was when you put the mini-screenplay in the talkback, which I think is about the most UNfunny thing talkbackers can do. So lets just do this, I am now slapping your soul's knuckles with a cosmic ruler. Do it again, and things could turn REALLY ugly. And to all the folks that keep defending Buzz... you are truly a blessing. We need MORE support for one another in these, the most danger of times. I applaud you. I wish I had friends like you... you know, the invisible kind.
you by THEgayGuy	Apr 26th, 2002 10:34:45 PM
This is very entertaining. I like it best when you insult each other and act like your smart while doing it. Good job.
Buzz needs defending? by The Chucker	Apr 27th, 2002 12:13:59 AM
What left field did that come out of?
What if Parker lived in semewhere else? by The Chucker	Apr 27th, 2002 12:26:19 AM
Has anybody else thought of this? What if, after being bitten by the spider, Aunt May decided to move to rural illinois or something? "Spider-man and the attack of the Evil teenage Cow Tippers" might not sell as well.
Mini-Screenplay. Fade In: by Buzz Maverik	Apr 27th, 2002 12:31:56 AM
INT. BUZZ MAVERIK'S OFFICE -- NIGHT. Buzz sits at his computer, typing onto a talkback. BUZZ (V.O.):"Enough of the nice guy shit. Simply put, BurlIvesLeftNut, bite me. I don't care whether you have a problem with me or not. You are nothing. You didn't get under my skin, because you are not important enough to get under my skin. I don't know you. I don't care about. You can say anything you want about me and it has no effect on me. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to take any shit from you. I don't care if you find what you call mini-screenplays funny or not. I don't care if you don't want me to do them. I will do them whenever I want -- as a matter of fact, I'm doing one right now, and since you are stupid enough to tell me not to do them, I'm going to do them even more. In fact, the reason I came down so hard on you is that I heard this crap from you on another talkback and quite simply, you're being a real bitch. If I do 'em again, it'll get ugly! Okay, loser, I'm doing it. Let's get ugly, asshole."
Final Words To BurlIvesLeftNut & Bezman. by Buzz Maverik	Apr 27th, 2002 12:48:32 AM
BurlIvesLeftNut, you started backpedaling this morning and I thought you were being a punk, but I decided not to be a hardass because I didn't know about the stupid catch phrase from your little dragon talkback. But you weren't asking me an innocent question, so quit being a punk and if you have a problem with me quit saying you don't. It's your problem, after all. So you give my soul a cosmic knuckle rapping, and I give yours a cosmic bitch slapping. And Bezman, I finally figured out where I remembered you from. I've heard from you before, haven't I, Andrew? Once a loser always a loser (but you're not Andrew or Dante are you?). Anyway, I talkback a lot so keep coming, every single time if you want to. That's all you're about, isn't it?
This might be old news, but... by The Chucker	Apr 27th, 2002 01:38:59 AM
At joblo.com you can watch 20 minutes of spider-man B-role. If anybody likes spoilers, this is the motherload.
Final Thoughts by bezman1	Apr 27th, 2002 02:55:40 AM
First of all, I am not as you think your arch-nemesis(?) Andrew or Dante - I am just a guy looking for movie updates once in a while and like a talk show radio listener, decided to be a first-time caller after being a long-time listener. As for your diagnosis - it's amazing that you were able to decode my messages as a thinly veiled cry for help. From three posts you can tell all that about me...wow, your AA degree was definitely money well spent. Attacking your grammar or spelling was never on my agenda, but sometimes mistakes are just a little too blatant - just ask grammarcop. Now, let me try your little screenplay game. INT. SPARE BEDROOM: A sad, lonely man sitting at his computer on a Friday night. He is disappointed by the recent release of The Scorpion King. He sighs in desperation thinking that with one or two more "People's Elbows" the movie would have been enough to rival the all-time greats - Body Slam or They Live. Unfortunately he is left to scan the talk-backs for mention of his name. There's a knock at his door. "Oh no," he shudders. "Is it my wife, my child, or something else..." The door slowly swings open. "Honey, are you still on the computer?" "Almost done, dear." Almost done... must retaliate to Buzz's latest slanderous remarks... "Why don't you come to bed?" "Just a minute, honey!" Wait a second, I don't care about Buzz, BurlIves, or the talkback forum. Screw it, I'm going to bed. Have fun in your talk-back world boys. Thanks for letting me play your reindeer games for a couple of days, but unfortunately my life beckons. Just remember, keep your hands above the keyboard. Happy trails.
Bezman, you twit. by Why Zass	Apr 27th, 2002 05:47:51 AM
Jesus, boy, are you ever an uninvited prick around here. You are the frigging turd in the proverbial punchbowl. Take it from me... I've been on AICN for several years now, and I guarantee you that there isn't another regular on these talkbacks that is as affable, friendly, witty, and generally likeable as Buzz Maverik. Whenever the there is shit hitting the fan between other Talkbackers, Buzz invariably drops in with a funny line, easing the tension and making it all fun again. For you to come in from out of nowhere and start shit with him simply to make yourself feel better, or to try to take on someone who seems to in fact be clever and creative (as opposed to your boring, pompous ass,) is basically inviting yourself into someone else's house to piss on their furniture. Buzz is a friend to everyone in here. I cannot ever recall him having any enemies before this crap started. Sure, it may have began between him and Burl, but they've apparently ended their quarrel. Still, you persist on showing us how incessant your arrogance and obnoxiousness can be. So, my friend, if you can't be a decent enough person to back off and/or present yourself around here with a modicum of amiability, then I implore you... please... go fuck yourself.
I can't tell you..... by Andy Andy	Apr 27th, 2002 05:49:30 PM
How much I am waiting for this movie to get here so it will be over and done with, and everyone will start talking about something else. I am absolutely sick of the "hype" surrounding this movie. Normally I wouldn't say anything, but I figured I should put in my two cents so people will know that there ARE people out there who think this thing is overexposed, overhyped nonsense. I am not going to see it next Friday nor do I have any plans of ever seeing it. If it's on one day I may catch it on tv. Other than that, thanks, but I will pass.
Why Zass by Andy Andy	Apr 27th, 2002 05:53:37 PM
Just out of curioristy, where exactly do you live where "turds in punchbowls" are so common, they are "proverbial"? I think that was a Jeff Foxworthy punchline, if I am not mistaken. Do your neighbors a favor and take the mattress off of your front lawn.
That Was Bezman, Ladies & Gentlemen... by Buzz Maverik	Apr 27th, 2002 11:44:31 PM
Now he's trying to prove he isn't the Comic Book Store Guy from THE SIMPSONS. Isn't he precious?
Let that be a lesson to you kids by Billy Talent	Apr 28th, 2002 12:58:49 AM
Try hard enough and apply yourself, and you too can be funnier than Buzz Maverik (well, at least when he isn't on.)
hahahaha by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 28th, 2002 11:22:15 AM
I think the funniest thing about this whole back and forth nonsense is the development of Buzz as some kind of TALKBACK BAD-ASS. Man, that is something to be proud of. Wasn't going to add anything more to this, but just thought that was funny.
I was at the same screening and... by Betelgeuse	Apr 28th, 2002 12:24:11 PM
I thought the movie was terrific. The entire cast is superb and Raimi is a wizard. He
BurlIvesLeftNut, From One Talkback Badass To Another... by Buzz Maverik	Apr 28th, 2002 05:57:05 PM
...I'll be your huckleberry.
Jeez! If They'd Get Something New Here, We All Wouldn't by Buzz Maverik	Apr 28th, 2002 06:47:03 PM
...not so deep down, he's just as hurt, just as small and just as scared as ol' Bezman ever was, he's just a little better at playing the game. He's got the need to build himself and to him, that means he has to put others down. How many times has he said he's gotten under my skin? If that's what he's got to convince himself of to make himself feel worthwhile, who am I to argue? See, as a peaceloving man, I still like to fight, so I'm not going to back down. How long has this shit been going on? Forever. Burl is right about the talkback badass stuff, though. It's stupid. It was stupid when he did it with the "really ugly if you do mini-screenplays again" thing and it's even stupider when I do it back because I'm me. I should know better. Burl, the thing is, you didn't get the original joke. That's okay. I can see how your sense of humor works now (if it ain't a put down, it ain't funny, right, Burl?), so of course he wouldn't get my joke. And of course he wouldn't think that "mini-screenplays" are funny. It's okay, Burl. Like I told our friend Bezman, I use myself in my gag because I'm secure. Secure people can do that. Now, I'm talking about the deep down truth here, Burl, you'd never make any kind of joke about yourself because you're afraid it'd be true.
Gotta say, this talkback keeps me comin' back for more. by Aquafresh	Apr 28th, 2002 06:54:48 PM
I love it when people who would otherwise have everything in common rip each other new arses for three days because of a flippant remark. Thats whats so great about our society: hypersensitivity. Were all fucking doomed. In summary, I gotta say Buzz, you are a consistantly funny dude & I always look forward to your posts, but I'm a little let down that you let these guys call you out just cause you are the popular kid at school. I'm sure you could really give a rats ass what I think, but I just don't like to see the talkbackers who actually contribute humor to this site get pulled down into the muck. If you ignore the jerkoffs, they tend to go away.
Where is the news? by Billy Talent	Apr 28th, 2002 09:04:49 PM
There's nothing happening in the 'Perfume' talkback, so I went to the 'Spy Kids 2' talkback and there was nothing going on there. So now I'm back here, and there's nothing but the Buzz Maverik/BurlIvesLeftNut/Bezman love fest. And even that's winding down, as the Bez has shuffled off this mortal coil and Maverik has hinted that this business might be beneath him. Anyone care to debate the relative merits of 'Star Wars' vs. 'Lord of the Rings'? Or maybe we could talk about girls or something? Portman vs. Dunst, anybody?
Buzz, what does that mean? by BurlIvesLeftNut	Apr 28th, 2002 10:08:30 PM
Huckleberry... not to harp, but it sounds suspiciously rednecky to me. LOL. Later mofo.
Todd by Yossarian	Apr 29th, 2002 12:26:37 AM
I don't frequent the talkbacks very often anymore,and coming here is like visiting your old highschool, the building is still the same, but there's a whole new crop of faces, and I just had a weird pang of nostalgia for Todd, the IRON GIANT guy. Yeah, yeah, off post, yada yada.
Is it all over? Then hear The Barrelrider pass judgement! by BarrelRider	Apr 30th, 2002 01:57:20 PM
I am relatively new to this site. I have read with a certain amount of interest the bizarre argument [if you can call it that] which has developed [out of nothing, I might add], and decided that I should deign to voice my opinion, in the hope that some of the people principally involved may read and be given something to think about as they go about their day to day lives. Being, like many of you, an office worker with a limited [or not] amount of time to spend chatting away on the internet, I'll do what so many of you do best and voice my opinion, whether you want it or not. In the Western World we have developed a wonderful political system called democracy. While far from being a flawless system, it's the best one available to us, for about the next 13000 years until true communism becomes a viable option. Now, as I say, I haven't been coming to this site long enough to really know much about talkbackers with names like "Chuckie Egg" or "Buzz Lightway" [I know it's Maverik, guys, I'm just paraphrasing a mistake my godson's grandmother constantly makes about the Toy Story character]. Nor, frankly do I care. I think you people will find that this site draws a hell of a lot more non-talkbackers than it does talkbackers. By this, I mean that the vast majority of people who come to this site come for, shock-horror, cool news, not for the reactions to that news of a few hundred fanboys. However, the moment where the average AICN-er WILL decide to read down the actual posts at the bottom of an article usually comes about for one of two reasons. Let me tell you what those are: (1) A talkbacker has written his or her own tidbit of knowledge relating, and in addition to the article. So readers read the article, then see that a talkbacker has something insightful to add, possibly an answer to a question posed in the article, so they click on the comment to read it, and further the knowledge they sought to gain by reading the article in the first place. (2) someone has written something so hilarious and witty in their title line that the reader is compelled to click on it and read on further. There are some pretty funny people knocking around this site, so I would say this is just as valid a reason to read a post as (1). However, as we have seen here, comedy is very much in the eye of the beholder, and people can sometimes react quite violently if they believe they are being attacked. There's nothing wrong with this, in fact we couldn't change this trait if we wanted to, being as it's something we developed over a hundred thousand years ago - these things take time to work out of the system, give it about 13000 years and we'll be nearly there :) But be under no doubt whatsoever that Buzz is just as much under the control of these ancient survival instincts as anyone else here. More so, to be perfectly honest, as he repeatedly claims not to care about the words of others, yet CANNOT STOP HIMSELF from reacting to those words, using the enabling-excuse of "wanting to get the last word" in so doing. But Buzz, why would anyone need to get the last word on something which doesn't pose a threat or have any relevance to them? Now, let me try to bring some of the admittedly loose strands of my argument together, to get across the over all point of my writing in the first place. I am really glad that this dude Buzz has inspired loyalty in people: loyalty is a trait that you don't often see on the internet but COME ON this is getting a bit out of hand. Anyone here who believes that reading Buzz's posts is "the sole reason to return to this site" really needs to get out a bit - literally AND within the confines of the internet. There are plenty of sites for people to get their comedy writing published on, and you can even set up a system whereby people have to pay you a small amount [or even a large one] to read your stuff. Maybe Buzz already does this; he certainly ought to, since people here have admitted that they would PAY to read something he's written. Combine this with the fact that he SEEMS to be an embittered screenwriter [although I don't believe that shit about Training Day for one second], and it seems like lunacy for Buzz to NOT try and sell his work. I think a lot of what Buzz said was pretty funny but Bez and the left nut guy were also funny in their repostes to what Buzz said, both illustrating that they are every bit as intelligent as he, although perhaps a little less-well versed in the finer points of pop culture. And I'm a little worried about this blind defending of a guy who by his own admission doesn't want or need to be defended. One specific thing which springs to mind is in relation to Ocho's comment that "Buzz
Andy-squared... (hey, your last name isn't Duran Duran, is i by Why Zass	Apr 30th, 2002 10:43:29 PM
>>"Just out of curioristy, where exactly do you live where "turds in punchbowls" are so common, they are "proverbial"? Do your neighbors a favor and take the mattress off of your front lawn."

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