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BLADE 2 review

Harry should write for Hustler by Aquafresh	Mar 17th, 2002 06:07:52 PM
I have a friend there Harry, if you want a job.
1st? by tonyblac	Mar 17th, 2002 06:09:23 PM
Damn Harry. You are one horny fat man.
Hey, where is everybody? by Aquafresh	Mar 17th, 2002 06:10:01 PM
Ive never seen a talkback this deserted. What do you people have lives or something?
FIRST! by Pabodie	Mar 17th, 2002 06:10:50 PM
Can't wait to see it with wifey jones and Sir Huggumtite Turduckens III.
All My Best Friends Are Movie Makers by Mr Neth	Mar 17th, 2002 06:12:17 PM

nice one by Cdiddy	Mar 17th, 2002 06:16:06 PM
Harry, You cant expect anyone to actually believe that you know what clit looks like, because Id be really suprised if youve ever seen pussy you loser.
She looked at me with those big brown eyes and said... by Darth Pixel	Mar 17th, 2002 06:16:51 PM
You Ain't Seen Nothin' Yet! I don't know, that song is on Winamp right now, and I just wanted to share that with you all. I took what I could, I took what I could get, and she looked at me with those big brown eyes and said... you know the rest.
i can't complain, i was warned... by Soul Suckin Jerk	Mar 17th, 2002 06:17:03 PM
...but still. that was ultra fucking stupid. none the less harry, you have made this film sound almost intriguing. almost, something to be taken seriously. i hated the original, but this sounds like it might be a bit different. i'll take your word (even if you are a complete wierdo sometimes)...
I think Harry desperately needs to get laid. by GrubStreeter	Mar 17th, 2002 06:17:12 PM
Man was this ever unpleasant to read. What is your problem Harry? Just review the film and get your rocks off on your own time. Yuck...
Pussy...? by Caducius	Mar 17th, 2002 06:19:34 PM
I'm glad you enjoyed it, but the analogy was pushed to the limit. I am looking forward to Blade 2, but will reserve my judgement as I have recently come to the conclusion that the original Blade has a terrible structure, more intent on looking cool that being evenly constructed. It is difficult to watch because of 80% of the dialogue. There are some wonderfully quotable moments, Frost: "you're a fucking maniac!" but then there's Whistler's hammy use of 'fuck' and it's variables along with the general overuse of them from all characters but Blade. N'Bushe Wright's annoying turn also is a problem. Her pathetic. "I'll just cure myself. I did it before and I'll do it again." or something to that effect, indicates a strained defiance that is painfully embarrassing to watch. If it has the same screenwriter, I will not expect much but your metaphorical orgasm certainly bodes good signs.
The Joy of Sex by Rhett Butler	Mar 17th, 2002 06:22:16 PM
But the film? What happened in the film?
Pathetic. by RSGumby	Mar 17th, 2002 06:31:30 PM
Hey, I'm all for creative reviews, I loved your first review of Battlefield Earth.. but this was just pathetic. Not funny, just gross in a really pathetic way. Get a grip.
This is the first time I've been in this talkback thingy by loopy65	Mar 17th, 2002 06:36:28 PM
Harry, I don't normally read the talkback,I apreciate it's existance but it just seems so bloody juvenile and immature. (I'd never heard of the term or subculture called Fan Boys until I discovered this site and I must say that I detest them with every ounce of bile I produce in my prostigious stomach. Spoilt brats who know nothing about the process,craft or artistry of film making (probably can't even focus an automatic focus slr), pontificating with blind stupidity and childish arrogance with....arrrrgh!! I can't finish,I see too much red.) However I had to say that I loved this review and think it's up there as one of your best. Your love of movies and apreciation of them for what they are and aren't are so very similar to mine (and by coincidence we're both `big boned' red heads!) You tell it like it is and I relate. I was pissing myself laughing at your review above, I was going to wait for DVD for this movie but no longer. Well done and thankyou An admirer from Oz
Thanks to you I have to get a new keyboard... by Mully4Ever	Mar 17th, 2002 06:38:54 PM
Sick. Disgusting. Ridiculous. Loved every second of it.
So, Harry... by sprocket-bot	Mar 17th, 2002 06:40:49 PM
...are you saying one need's to be a pussy to enjoy this movie? :) Can't wait to see it, though the thought of a large mexican man going down on me is revolting at the least...what can I say, straight pride!!!
So, Harry... by sprocket-bot	Mar 17th, 2002 06:40:58 PM
...are you saying one need's to be a pussy to enjoy this movie? :) Can't wait to see it, though the thought of a large mexican man going down on me is revolting at the least...what can I say, straight pride!!!
Harry, even though you apologized for taking the metaphor too fa by Lenny Nero	Mar 17th, 2002 06:43:18 PM
YOU TOOK THE METAPHOR WAY TOO FAR!!!!!!!!!! You make me laugh, but this is the kind of stuff that critic at EW talked about your book being. Now, as a fan, I liked your book (quick read...two days on and off) but this is just nasty. Like your Battlefield Earth review, where I just wanted to see you cap on a movie big time, but instead you talk about shit in a toilet. Yow! I like you Harry, you just seem to want to piss people off sometimes.
by marla147	Mar 17th, 2002 06:47:47 PM
I think, after reading that review, I've lost all interest in seeing Blade 2. I'm scarred for life now. Thanks a lot!
Worst review ever by DavidManning	Mar 17th, 2002 06:52:34 PM
I don't think your friend will thank you for this one.
yer all on crack: that review freakin RULED!!!!! by Tall_Boy	Mar 17th, 2002 07:03:06 PM
anytime somebody talks for a full two pages about eating snatch as an extended metaphor for an action movie gets my vote, yo! that was awesome, harry!
GREAT REVIEW HARRY! by andreasingo	Mar 17th, 2002 07:08:39 PM
It made me smile all the way through and you didn't spoil anything. Good work. You're one of the few "film critics" that knows how to have fun. Keep up the good work!
"Two Tongues Up" by MisterBones5	Mar 17th, 2002 07:21:50 PM
Well, Harry likes this movie. Cool. But beyond that, I've been looking for a new way to review movies for the new milennium. I mean, "two thumbs up" is so last century. Gimmee a break, grandpa. Well, I believe that Harry has broken through with the new hype. "This BLADE II movie really licked the audience's pussy! I give it Two Tongues Up!"
to loopy, who probably won't read it but oh well by STRIDER355	Mar 17th, 2002 07:28:19 PM
Dude. . .I dunno what to say to you. But the fact that people ranting about movies makes you want to puke, certainly shows something about how weak of a human being you are. Oh, and this movie will rock. Funny review, Harry.
Harry, i hate to join the chorus, but you're killin' me. by Sterling Wolfe	Mar 17th, 2002 07:30:21 PM
Harry, I love you, man. But you're really killing me here. Same reasons others have expressed better than I. Harry, it's not about the sex. But it's the approach. I don't want to be embarrassed to read aicn like it's a bunch of dorks sitting around with their hands in their pants, who have never seen or spoken to a woman. Harry, please, man. You're killing me, along with surely many others. See you at Dea's surely wonderful show, hopefully, on Wednesday, but man, Harry, leave this "you" behind and you will be doing a great number of people a big favor. The cons of this completely over the top stuff outweigh the pros, and it just sounds desparate, and unintelligent, and IMHO completely obfuscates any point you'd wish to make. Like watching a dad throw a porn birthday party for his horrified daughter. It's creepy, Harry. It's creepy.
sterling... by STRIDER355	Mar 17th, 2002 07:47:22 PM
"watching a dad throw a porn birthday for his horrified daughter." That's even funnier than Harry's review!
Whatever interest I had in this film . . . by NerdBird	Mar 17th, 2002 07:48:50 PM
Is gone now. And I guess along with it Harry's chance at a pulitzer in film criticism. I never thought I would read a positive (it was positive, right?) review of a film that would leave me nauseous, and I think of myself as a pretty crude dude. At least we don't have to worry about Harry running for office. And I suppose it could have been worse. He could have been reviewing Michael Moore's new book . . .
My opinion of the review of Blade 2 by Mr Bonefish	Mar 17th, 2002 08:05:53 PM
Thank god for the first amendment. Keep it up Harry...write on. To the naysayers, freedom rules.
This whole review was just written to be read by Del Torro...it& by Fat is Beautiful	Mar 17th, 2002 08:26:44 PM
And it's too bad because this is a film alot of people would have liked to have Harrys opinion on....but again it's just about how Harry is buddy's with the director...well we are happy for you Harry...but most of us can't relate to that and we JUST WANT AN UNBIASED OPINION ABOUT THE MOVIE, IN A WAY THAT MAKES SENSE TO US, NOT A HA HA FUNNY JOKE BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR "BRO"!!
EWWWW!!! I think I just had cybersex with Harry... by Nihilon	Mar 17th, 2002 08:28:44 PM
I feel so dirty. Excuse me while I go shower for 10 hours.
... by HeeHeeHee	Mar 17th, 2002 08:37:07 PM
That was pretty stupid. Could you please tell us more about the actual movie?
What does Harry know about eating pussy? by vich1	Mar 17th, 2002 08:51:48 PM
Not much, besides what he's seen in movies would be my guess.
Surprise surprise, Harry gives another glowing review to a movie by Atticus Finch	Mar 17th, 2002 09:04:18 PM
'Nuff said!
Stupid Fucks by ThaGuru	Mar 17th, 2002 09:08:10 PM
Only Harry can pull this off. Great Review. If you want an easy orthodox review, Go somewhere else cocksuckers. Good Shit.
I can't wait for Harry's AOTC review, where he compares by Twig	Mar 17th, 2002 09:23:27 PM
But I don't need the image of Harry THINKING about oral. His flab getting all sweaty...eeeewwww!!!!!!! MUST SHOWER NOW!!
How are we supposed to by Cincy Vigilante	Mar 17th, 2002 10:05:34 PM
take you seriously Harry. Damn that was just sad.
Harry you watch to much porn, you should get out more by IAmLegolas	Mar 17th, 2002 10:17:30 PM
Anyway, I can't wait to see this movie! "Some motherf*ckers always trying to ice skate uphill."
I hate Harry by Dark Bastion	Mar 17th, 2002 10:28:39 PM
Harry, I hate you with every inch of my soul. You will perish in flames for that "review." Please go back to raping wild animals.
I guess when you own a website you can do whatever the hell you by MrCere	Mar 17th, 2002 10:30:08 PM
But that was way over the line of good taste and I was so uninterested in reading it, that I didn't. I know that sort of thing passes for humor here, but that was lame. Harry, I love you in a purely platonic way, and will remain a fan, but use some good judgement.
Harry says Attack of the Clones is like a 3some!!!!!! by Fat is Beautiful	Mar 17th, 2002 10:35:18 PM
Let's hope he doesn't compare it to anal sex now in his review.
YOU JUST CALLED ME A CLIT..., ASSHOLE. by jennababe	Mar 17th, 2002 10:39:38 PM
Make-up artists not getting pussy? It's obvious Harry's not doing much better. Give me a break with this shit.
That was pretty gross by Pksoze22	Mar 17th, 2002 10:51:40 PM
I'm a 22 hetero male raised inb the East coast. Bat that was sick shit Harry.
that was really fucking GROSS, harry! by a goonie	Mar 17th, 2002 10:58:23 PM
seriously, man, that was one helluva bad review. it wasn't EVEN a review. generally, your reviews are laced with the occasional grammatical error, and are written in a sort of stream-of-consciousness kind of way, which is certainly not in any way similar to other critic's printed reviews, BUT what i like about your reviews is that you generally, very often, make at least ONE REALLY GOOD POINT. which is more than i can say about most reviewers, whose reviews sound good, but are often quite hollow. but this review here, this was just gross. strange and gross. Massawrym (is that how you spell it?) wrote a very good REVIEW of Blade 2. i enjoyed it. this, however, just made me wretch.
And there I was thinking Americans didn't 'do' sarca by PoshKittyKat	Mar 17th, 2002 10:59:09 PM
"Guillermo Del Toro and I are like brothers." I'm sure Harry's detractors (e.g EW reviewer) will love that. Bless you, Harry.
Harry, Harry, Harry . . . by RogueScribner	Mar 17th, 2002 11:18:07 PM
You know, I visit this site regularly, but I rarely "talk back". This review compelled me to speak up. Harry, this review was down right embarassing. I don't know if you are trying to be "cool" or whatever, and I realize you're not a professional journalist, but think before you type. I'm looking forward to BLADE 2 as much as the next guy, but reviews like yours make me wonder. What was the point of writing like that? To shock people? To talk like your a friend of mine? It's one thing to use slang and curse words in a web site review. It's a whole other thing to write pornography and pass it off as a film review. I think you should reevaluate your writing style and try, TRY to be a bit more professional. How do you expect anyone to take you seriously if you don't even take yourself seriously? L8r
So you're saying you liked the movie, right? by Ambrose Chappell	Mar 17th, 2002 11:28:29 PM
Very funny review, Harry! It ranks right up there with your review of "Lake Placid" (a classic piece of critical analysis if I do say so myself).
Harry Digler... by Sisyphuss	Mar 17th, 2002 11:31:37 PM
Yep. Its evident that Harry can't get any...
That was the most daring review I've read... kudos to you Ha by Kampbell-Kid	Mar 17th, 2002 11:36:57 PM
What worries me is... I told my boss tonight at the theater AICN had raving reviews of Blade 2 and he said he'd check it out. That was before Harry posted his review... now my boss is gonna get online, read this, and go "OH MY @#$%^@#%ING GOD!!" Oh well, can't wait to see it!!!!
That's it, I'm outta here... by JonQuixote	Mar 17th, 2002 11:41:44 PM
Memo to Guillermo Del Toro: get some new friends.
So, is BLADE still screwing his creator? by Oh Hell	Mar 17th, 2002 11:46:12 PM
All this dirty talk reminds me...whatever happened to Marv Wolfman's suit against Marvel Comics regarding ownership of Blade and Deacon Frost? He didn't create either of those characters under a work-for-hire contract, so don't they belong to him?
Oi... by patient37	Mar 17th, 2002 11:56:10 PM
Suddenly those big hairy jubblies of yours are looking a bit more alluring, Herr Knowles.
Harry ... by hktelemacher	Mar 17th, 2002 11:57:26 PM
Sure, plenty of jerk-offs are going to come at you both barrels for your review, but man ... this is the first review of yours I've read that has been captivating. Not because you equated the flick with licking pussy, but because your enthusiasm was contagious and you conveyed it just so. I hope the movie has half the power of that little gem. It could be construed as juvenile, but it's a very good sign when a flick (a sequel of all things) can create such a response from someone who sometimes does froth at the mouth for certain movies, but never in such a way. Any doubt I had about Blade 2 is wiped away, and you've done us all a great disservice by pumping us up so much. Hopefully Del Toro will keep your promise. That was solid writing. Sometimes some good old fashioned good intentioned gratuitiousness is healthy. And Blade 2 sounds very healthy to me - a movie that may finally involve the audience in every sensory way it can.
Harry... by Billy Talent	Mar 17th, 2002 11:58:34 PM
As a film critic, you make a really lousy pornographer. I don't get offended easily, but that was just fucking disgusting, hostile, ugly, embarrasing and stupid. Roger Ebert is friendly with a lot of film makers. He never writes that kind of shit. Between your sycophantic droolings, your grotesque sexual allusions and your childish bashing of films like 'Gosford Park' you're starting to sound more and more like elfkiller8 or someone. Just grow up a little.
Nicely said, El Gordo, but I cfan go you one better. by Cash Bailey	Mar 18th, 2002 12:21:44 AM
BLADE 1 was like renting an awesome-looking porno, getting over-excited and shooting your wad after the first three minutes, then sitting back through the rest of it, barely interested, waiting for your dick to get hard again. How'd I go?
People who question Harry's reviews... by ruskul	Mar 18th, 2002 12:37:29 AM
...Go someplace else. I go to Aint it cool to hear reviews that are dead honest, and this is just another example. Feel offended? Then find another review site that cuts back before the words have been typed. Censors before allowing expression. Go to Sony. Go back to book burning you fascist mutherfuckers!!! BTW, I have no intrest in seeing this movie, so I'm not just being biassed.
The closest Harry's ever been to a clit involved walking a d by lasertagmcmahan	Mar 18th, 2002 12:44:31 AM
FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB FAT AND DUMB . . . and stupid too.
This is the kind of review a 600 pound man should never write by Veidt	Mar 18th, 2002 12:47:13 AM
Never. Ever.
I'd love to see his face when he's sober again and reads by AnotherThief	Mar 18th, 2002 12:57:18 AM
That was REALLY pathetic.
Uh-Oh. Harry's dad finally gave him "the birds and the bees" by wadew	Mar 18th, 2002 01:00:13 AM
Good God.... I actually was really hyped to see this movie until i read this. Very Disturbing. Sorry Harry, i can't defend you on this. FLAME AWAY! If NEW LINE can somehow make it so no one has any memory of this review it would be much appreciated.
Harry missed his true calling in life... Writing Pr0n... by TheMatarife	Mar 18th, 2002 01:15:26 AM
Damned funny shit. This movie sounds like its the cat's ass. Can't wait to go see it.
I just want to say that CISCO Bunny's post was friggin hilar by wadew	Mar 18th, 2002 01:17:42 AM
that is all.
This proves my theory that Harry actually has FEMALE GENITALIA by SpeedyGonzales	Mar 18th, 2002 01:51:10 AM
How can you deny it?
I can't stop laughing!!!!!!! by Atlantis2001	Mar 18th, 2002 01:56:09 AM
I can't believe Harry actually wrote AND posted that!
I Didn't Think Anything Would Make Me More Exasperated Than by jollydwarf	Mar 18th, 2002 02:25:33 AM
...but shit 'n' shinola, was I wrong. I couldn't read anything after the first paragraph until the last two paragraphs. That was just out and out fucking disturbing. And this is one of the more powerful men in Hollywood? What I did see (before I could look away) suggests possible insanity and really compromises the cred of the AOTC review. I think I need to go look at some NCAA scores now....
Unacceptable. Harry talking about sex is like...dancing about ar by porpy	Mar 18th, 2002 02:34:27 AM
Come on. This was just obscene.
What's happened to us???? by McKenzieFrenzy	Mar 18th, 2002 02:36:45 AM
Why does everyone seem to be in a race of political correctness?........will the winner get a prize?, whats happened to the free speach mentality where reviews such as this were held up as shining examples of our ability to comunicate whatever we damn well wanted to a world wide audience. Brilliant review Harry.......its what reviews should be.........not spoiler filled accounts of plot and story, but metaphorical allusions to the experience we can expect to have as a viewer of the film in question. For crying out loud Blade 2 isnt forrest gump or driving miss fucking dasy.......its an r rated action horror, and as any film studies student should know, the structure and appeal of horror films and pornography are almost identical. As such it is perfectly reasonably to use one to illistrate the other...........shame shame shame on all you morality watchdogs, as someone once said, political correctness is one of the great evils in the world....why? because it belongs in the category of mind controll.........I strongly suggest that if you found Harrys review offensive you seriously think of joining some kind of organised religion.........you'll be much happier, but it's just a suggestion...........well done harry
I think I just filled a cup. by Psyclops	Mar 18th, 2002 02:54:41 AM
Dude!!! What's wrong with you? I felt violated reading that... and kinda turned on... EEEWWW!!!! Anyway, BLADE 2 kicks ass and all you naysayers are gonna be begging for more when this hits theaters on Friday (I got to see it in November... MWAHAHAHAH!!!!), too cool. Say Harry, did they leave in the autopsy sequence? The botched decapitation too?
This Has Nothing To Do With Political Correctness by jollydwarf	Mar 18th, 2002 02:59:42 AM
It instead immerses us into what can only (at least at 2:51 A.M.) be called "extremely creepy ickiness." Believe me, I'm not repressed, but if true freedom means thinking about Harry Knowles or any director for that matter giving head IN GRAPHIC DETAIL, then maybe I should start considering letting a little more of my inner Ned Flanders or Rush Limbaugh out. Between this and that "AICN Hottie" debacle in the Coaxial section a couple weeks ago, well, somebody tell "Head" (pun intended) Geek to go piss in a cup. We'll have the results in three business days.
Jack Carter 2000... you FUCKING ASSHOLE!!!! Harry, delete his po by Psyclops	Mar 18th, 2002 02:59:43 AM
I've seen the movie too and I was tempted to give away some of the best parts... but NOT THE WHOLE FUCKING THING YOU JACKASS!!!! Jeez, I let a few vague bits slip about tonight's ALIAS episode (which I saw in advance at the Paley Festival on Monday) and my post got deleted in that talkback, this guy is giving you the whole fucking movie in a nutshell. ASSFUCKER!!!
LMAO by Alphashewolf	Mar 18th, 2002 03:00:22 AM
FOMCROTFLMAOTIPIMP....hahahaha ha...howllll...hehehehe...chor tle...giggle..snort That's the funniest thing I've read in ages...hahaha. If you intended to shock everyone I reckon you pulled it off...
Prudes, Get Over Yourselves by Grimjack99	Mar 18th, 2002 03:22:51 AM
Good movie or not, Harry's review is just that. His excitement for and about this film got him to the point of equating it with a sexual act. SO FUCKING WHAT??? Are we so Victorian in our mores that any graphic text on the subject of sex causes us to faint or feel short of breath? Oh, wait, I forgot these reactions are coming out of talk back, where you have to set your I.Q. back thirty points or so. Okay, I'll simplify. Harry good guy. Him get excited about film. Him compare film with clit-licking. Him not evil, just excited. Wrongness in eye of beholder. Hey, Harry, I forget, did people get this flabbergasted about Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back? Anyhow, my opinion on the subject of whether or not Harry erred is this; No, he did not. It's his house, and he's the master. He can do whatever the hell he wants. Anyone who doesn't like it can take their toys and go home. In fact, I'd enjoy reading talk back a hell of a lot more if you prudish numbnuts WOULD go home. Yes! I've said it, and I'm glad, do you hear me? GLAD! PRUDES ARE NUMBNUTS!! PRUDES ARE NUMBNUTS!!
Del Toro was fucking COOL! by supershauna	Mar 18th, 2002 04:05:13 AM
The film is over the top, but that was the point. I think Guillermo Del Toro did what he set out to do, but don't go there expecting a solid plot or a realistic look. I really enjoy seeing world premieres with the cast/crew in attendance to get an idea of what they were actually trying to accomplish. Wesley Snipes should know that his film will make plenty of cash, but I actually wouldn
Disappointed and Creeped Out... by Morningwood	Mar 18th, 2002 04:25:51 AM
This guy is either completely whacked out of his mind on something, simply lost it all together or is simply a pathetic creep and has been all along. What a train wreck. I can't imagine what was going on in his head when he typed...that. Visions of himself as Pacino in Scarface or sitting around a table with a bunch of montley scumbags in a Tarantino movie. He is sitting there typing this...sub verbal moronic obsenity with his tongue hanging out, sweating like a pig...a mirror no where in sight and you know what he thinks? He thinks it is going to come out looking cool. He has more people hitting his website for the first time than ever before because of his book, posts a review of the next Star Wars movie on one page...and then does this. First time visitors...maybe even some powerful people in the industry come to visit the site for the first time...look at the cartoon of him shooting a gun in the upper left hand corner then look at the creepy as hell caricture on the book gif...then they read something so entirely offensive it has even the most anti-social and warped fan boys 'holding their hat' and any vestige of what remained on a female viewership signing off for good, children confused and upset, parents furious. What we see here is the dark side of a culture...the saddest aspect of a cruel stereotype not fit for the Springer Show. We wanted him to surprise us and show his critics wrong. Hell, folks here in Austin were proud to have him. What a fool, what a clown. What makes a man, dignity, courage, honor, respect? What is Harry? A gnome....a mean...angry...gnome. If Harry is indeed a man or even just what passes these days for a decent human being...We will be expecting a REAL heartfelt apology by this evening. :(
Harry is a typical hillbilly: obsessed with his own shit and jiz by Eugene O	Mar 18th, 2002 04:45:23 AM
There is nothing shocking or contraversial about this review. We all knew it was coming based on many of his other lame attempts at "creative" writing. No surprises, Harry. Sorry.
Oh c'mon, it was funny by Kagero	Mar 18th, 2002 06:03:53 AM
and it's always good to read something besides the same old BS
My God, Harry! by CoolDan989	Mar 18th, 2002 06:28:51 AM
It's almost as if you want to make your review nauseating to read on purpose! All you have to do is tell us whether you like the movie or not! Jeez!
LOL! by Luluca	Mar 18th, 2002 06:41:24 AM
What a great review! ;-D Even if I don
down the drain by something001	Mar 18th, 2002 07:17:57 AM
This site isn't about movies anymore, it's an outlet for an indulgent, self serving, opiniated jerk, high on his own celebrity. This review just proved it.
Harry, that was a terrible review... by Roguewriter	Mar 18th, 2002 08:15:56 AM
... not that I'm bitching about your right to write em how you see em (I've defended that in the past) but considering that practically every legitimate reviewer in the nation has thus far completely IGNORED Del Toro's BLADE 2, I was kinda hoping for some serious in-depth discussion here, and a little more info about the flick itself. So, OK, can Moriarty give this one a whirl? Thanks!
Good Lord by Buck_Turgidson	Mar 18th, 2002 09:59:50 AM
Dear Penthouse Forum: I never thought it would happen to me... Harry, time to meet some real women and go re-take your high school health class. What a crappy review.
Bar of soap, man of filth... by Darth Gravy	Mar 18th, 2002 10:19:29 AM
Passion for a movie or a director is an admirable quality. But Harry, someone ought to wash your mouth out (or rap your hands really good with a ruler). Being dirty for the sake of being dirty is a tired old routine, and incredibly juvenile as well. The real feat to conveying passion felt for a movie or a director is keeping your pants zipped up the entire time, Sr. Knowles. But then again, what can you do when you have one hand on the keyboard and another on your crotch?
ShadowInc - You're on the money... by AliceInWonderlnd	Mar 18th, 2002 10:27:19 AM
I only got through about two paragraphs of this, and now I'm completely pissed off, since when I do actually see this movie (which I had been quite looking forward to, actually) I am afraid I am going to have fucking flashbacks of this deathless prose appearing in my head at random moments, moments that will wrench me out of the film as I sit, spastically crossing my legs until my thigh bones break and trying to control my heaving gorge. Don't get me wrong, I like being blown as much as the next chick, but this was utterly, utterly gross. "wet-chinned thighsplitter" - urgh! "joy button" - nyargh! Call the police - I've just been raped by prose (well, I think it was prose, though it may have been wearing a ski-mask). Excuse me while I bugger off to claw my own eyes out so I never have to read ANYTHING like this EVER again.
Ok, you tubby bitch, if del Torro is so great, why is he making by Silver_Joo	Mar 18th, 2002 10:37:25 AM
Hero worship is a dangerous thing Harry. How many times have people had to listen to you anally pleasing directors that did not think you were a fat geek, only for us to find out that their films were poor? Try a new approach, one that does not see you stuck in the pockets of Hollywood, and fluffing for the film crews.
Schoener Leben by Al_Shut	Mar 18th, 2002 10:52:05 AM
This review reminds me of something Walter Moers wrote in"Sch
Perhaps the Worst Review I've Ever Read! by Megaladon	Mar 18th, 2002 10:53:02 AM
That was just embarrassing! Although I generally like this site, every once in awhile Harry really makes himself looks foolish (fawning over The Phantom Menace, a horrible film, or begging for presents on his birthday are two examples). That review really takes the cake however. It wasn't just bad, it was creepy. I don't blame the female talk-backers for vomiting after reading it!
Cunnilingus - Latin for "he who licks the vulva" by Juggernaut125	Mar 18th, 2002 10:57:35 AM
Cunniling0 - Latin for "he who licks the volvo." Nice review Harry, I had to read three times to finally "get there'. "It's kinda like "Bang The Drum Slowly" only in this case, the Drum's a chick. What many of these reviewers fail to realize is that this review was actually INTERESTING! I mean, which movie would you rather see? 'The film was a caucophony of pathos and religious fervor. Where in the characterizations drew deep from an emotional core to portray reality in a harsh yet brilliant light." or "You're the clit. The director is the tongue. And the tongue KNOWS how to eat clit." Usually, I'm not big on your reviews Harry. I hate all the preamble on how buying that box of jujubes at the consession stand reminded you of your first bicycle without training wheels which put you in mind of your childhood as you watched "Field of Dreams 2: GOOOOAAAL!" but at least in this one, there's a physicality about the review. Some people will be repulsed. Some will be enticed. But everyone's gonna remember it. Good job.
Infantilism wins again... by MICKFINN	Mar 18th, 2002 11:01:08 AM
First things first, the review was awful. Not for the actual language. No, it's teh mentality and childish "oooh, aren't I naughty" nature behind it. It was childish, immature and eally just unimaginative. I can hear this tired crap from preteen Eminem wannabes on the street. This has nothing to do with political correctness. Let's get one thing straight-The First Amendment is a two-way street. harry's entitled to spew his Al Goldstein pap... and we're allowed to say he's full of shit. Seems freedom of speech has been co-opted by the irresponsible and immature, a rallying cry for the uneducated and ignorant to shock for the sake of shock. Freedom comes with a responsibility, as well as actually having something to say. By all means, say what you want, but don't get all pissy if someone diasagrees with you and start saying "your opinion violates my right to free speech." Is it possible for the fan nation to rise above this puerile nonsense? After Moriarty's blatant grudge with James Gunn ( note-the cartoon was bad, so the movie looks pretty damned faithful, in that regard), the less than circumstantial evidence-based bashing of AOTC and now this low rent Henry Miller diatribe passed off as a movie review, I highly doubt it. fan"BOY" indeed. Still and always, The Mick
GO HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Kampbell-Kid	Mar 18th, 2002 11:11:17 AM
Thats brave... you are awesome!!!! Thats the bravest thing since Ellen's last sitcom episode which was a subtle "FUCK YOU!" to everyone in showbiz. EW may feel they made you and that they can now take you down... I'm never reading a Entertainment Weekly again EVER! GO HARRY!!! :)
Review Writing 101 by D0GB0Y	Mar 18th, 2002 12:43:42 PM
Rule 1: Don't write a review that is so vulgar, that to read it would inflict wounds upon the eyes. Harry, you really need to STOP writing meandering crap and write real reveiws.....you know....ones that tell how good or bad the movie is....perhaps even break down and tell how good or bad the sound/costumes/camera work, etc is. But then again. That would be a good review, not this piece of crap you wrote for us.
Didn't this used to be a movie review site? by Rogerborg	Mar 18th, 2002 01:22:56 PM
Or am I thinking of somewhere else? Is there a similarly named site that actually reviews films using mostly English words written so that they make some kind of sense when read from left to right and top to bottom? Any ideas?
Didn't this used to be a movie review site? by Rogerborg	Mar 18th, 2002 01:25:40 PM
Or am I thinking of somewhere else? Is there a similarly named site that actually reviews films using mostly English words written so that they make some kind of sense when read from left to right and top to bottom? Any ideas?
i'm tired of this shit by Lelon	Mar 18th, 2002 01:59:29 PM
the server is fucked, so i'm not typing it out AGAIN. THIS MOVIE LOOKS LIKE ASS PERIOD. if it is as good as queen of the damned i'll be FLOORED
open up by mbritton72	Mar 18th, 2002 01:59:43 PM
What's wrong with a review that uses the same erotic imagery inherent in the vampire myth to get you pumped for the film? A VAMPIRE film. You people have no imagination, and your criticism barely masks your low self esteem and presumably unattractive appearance. Luckily the world has a few Harrys because if it didn't, we'd all be a bunch of frigid librarians.
Oi vay by penywisetheclown	Mar 18th, 2002 02:13:49 PM
How come when I was reading that I kept picturing Guillermo eating Harry's Pussy.....big fat naked Harry with a big dripping pussy.....Jesus, I have to go wash my eyes out with Drain-O now........
But I had two girls around me, Patch black and blued my right fo by misterWINKIE	Mar 18th, 2002 02:16:27 PM
ok harry...are u sure u werent sitting on these broads...i think u were...anyways...please stop copy/pasting u and moriarity's cyber sex chats and using them as reviews...pathetic
Harry's masturbation exercise.... by Fatal Discharge	Mar 18th, 2002 02:21:12 PM
...hold limp noodle, make vertical motion with hand, repeat until satisfied, turn off webcam, wipe self and hose down keyboard before Dad finds out.
Geez, Harry, you need a vacation with Kitten. by WarDog	Mar 18th, 2002 04:30:18 PM
No, actually I was not offended by your review. I just wish it had told us a good deal more about the film. Like how well actors perform in it, how good the story is, how good the SFX are, how good the script is, yadda-yadda-yadda. You know, the usual. Please try to remember us simple filmfans next time who don't care for someone waxing metaphoric over a film they really LOVE to the point of (intellectual) orgasm. It doesn't really help us know whether or not WE would enjoy it. There are all kinds of sexual activity that result in orgasm. How should we know if this kind is what we'd like? ***** And for heaven's sake, would someone please tell me why the studio felt they HAD to bring back the Whistler character? Goddammit, let Blade move on with his life of fighting vampires or get a new mentor/sidekick. I am so SICK of this oh-he-really-die SHIT.
HAHAHA! Jack Carter is FUCKED now! by PattyOGreen	Mar 18th, 2002 04:31:16 PM
Dude... you're on the highway to being banned. Such a high-bandwith post of such asshole proportions (seriously, that is an asshole thing to do, describing the entire movie with no forewarning) was bad enough... but posting it up here a half-dozen times has sealed your doom. The only hope you have is that for the few days Father Geek's out in LA with Harry, he's letting up on his job. I hate assholes who spoil good movies and don't let people know they're going to...
Great googly moogly by LoudmouthCracker	Mar 18th, 2002 05:30:01 PM
Well, that was interesting. I'll be straight with y'all and say right up front that I had zero interest in seeing "Blade II" to begin with, as I'm not into goth/vampire/black-clad alternateen horseshit. No offense, anybody; it's just not my thing. However, having read this transcript of Harry busting a nut into his bermuda shorts, I must say that my interest in seeing this movie is now LESS than zero, if such a thing is even possible. Now hey, maybe this review really spoke to some of you. To me, it was simply another example of Harry giving his friends props. It's kind of like LOTR. Y'know, I'd probably love that movie even more if I'd gotten to go visit the shoots and the sets and hobnob with the filmmakers. Go figure. Now I'm not going to speculate about Harry's sex life because (a) it's none of my damn business despite his best efforts to let us all know about it with his droolings about "kitten", and (b) it's probably better than mine. Hey, anybody can get laid when he has money practically falling out of his ass. No skin off my nose, either way. I'll say this, though, in closing: if Harry wants to try to write movie reviews that'd actually get Larry Flynt's dick up again, that's his call. The bottom line is that it's remarkably funny to see a movie review getting its own reviews. What's better than seeing a self-absorbed movie critic get verbally blasted in the nuts?
All you childish, prudish motherfuckers LAY THE FUCK OFF OF HARR by LesterB	Mar 18th, 2002 05:37:51 PM
When you open your own movie review website, you can write your reviews any way you choose. Jesus, some of you are starting to sound like those Washington whiners who want to fine the studios every time somebody says "fuck" or lights a cigarette. Grow the fuck up. Harry can write his reviews any way he wants. You don't like it? Stop coming to the site, you bunch of idiots? Or maybe, just maybe you enjoy hating Harry. It gives your life meaning. In which case ... well, who am I to take away your purpose? Harry, don't listen to these morons. You write what you what when you want how you want. There are an awful lot of jealous people in the world who wish they could have turned THEIR hobby into a career.
WHAT A VILE PIECE OF GARBAGE by Michel Delving	Mar 18th, 2002 05:46:42 PM
That's the most disgusting/embarrasing review I've ever read. It totally makes me not want to see the movie. Harry, if you're going to write this garbage, you'd better post an 18 years and older Enter/Exit sign and throw in some penthouse scans for the adults. I hope whatever drugs you were on when you wrote it were excellent, because you've lost a lot of credibility with a lot of people today.
by PUNY HUMANS	Mar 18th, 2002 05:47:04 PM
Harry, bad review. It made no sense and wasn't funny. Swear words and juvenile talk about oral sex stopped being funny to me somewhere around 6th grade. Blade II, was it any good, did it move, how were the visuals, how did the Reapers come off? The previous talkbacker was correct, Blade II has been ignored by the major media outlets. AICN is supposed give comprehensive coverage to genre projects that the mainstream media gives short shrift to because it's not what they consider serious fare. Harry, you've been going on about a Blade II for months , then when you finally review it we get this pathetic attempt to be shocking. I'm no prude and I'm not easily offended but there is one thing i find highly offensive: The poorly written sex fantasies of a 30 year old who should no better. I'd guess you would describe next years HULK as being comparable to being gang raped by Mike Tyson.
Damm by GadgetBoy	Mar 18th, 2002 06:01:49 PM
Well, Harry, I really didn't think you had it in you. I Liked it. I still don't know what's in the movie, in terms of dialogue, effects or story, but your review was different. And by the way, Jack Carter 2000, you're right, you can post whathever you want, but fuck, how old are you? you're so stupid.
Awesome review Harry by Corky St. Clair	Mar 18th, 2002 06:17:28 PM
A review like this is why I read your reviews. This is what separates you from the other critics. Reminds me of your Battlefield Earth review. Creative and original. Don't listen to the haters who want you to conform, keep up the twisted and entertaining and interesting technique. If they don't like it, they can read someone else's review. I will say though that sometimes I get bored by the what you did before seeing the movie sections of some of your reviews, but I can deal with it as long as you start pumping out more strange analogies.
It's true...Harry really isa narcissistic pig! by nick lang	Mar 18th, 2002 06:48:51 PM
Seriously, Harry. Who gives a shit with who you're "friends" with in Hollywood. You're virtually hated by everyone whose not "friends" with you. Blade 2 looks like a kick-ass movie and I can't wait to see it, but you're review had nothing to do with that. I dare you to actually write an objective review on a film, i dunno, say like a real writer would! Quit the name dropping. That review in EW pretty much sums up my opinion of you. BTW - Let's be honest...have you even kissed a girl, let alone gone down on one?
i feel dirty by wovvee	Mar 18th, 2002 07:14:04 PM
haha...all i can picture is Harry and Del Torro in the back of the theater, playing footsies and going down on each other...THE HORROR! THE HORROR!....can't wait for the movie though...
I feel sorry for you talkbackers by andreasingo	Mar 18th, 2002 07:18:46 PM
Can't you see the joke? I mean, are you retards offended or something? Who gives a rats ass about spelling? Who gives a rats ass about language? It's the enthusiasm that counts. Get a life!
Jack Carter 2000 and lasertagmcmahan... by CoolDan989	Mar 18th, 2002 07:24:52 PM
Does the word "banned" mean anything to either of you? Seriously...
The thing to know... by luiscypher	Mar 18th, 2002 07:51:22 PM
When one watches a Michael Bay Motion Picture you get the sensation that Bay knows how to fuck ass better than any director in the biz. His films pummel you with brute masquline strength. Your anus opens wide and then tightens when the full force and width of his celluloid assault masterfully pounds you into submission. With each over the top moment quick cut edit and throbbing musical movement makes you his willing bitch. You want to turn around and gaze in awe at the genius that resides behind his enormous and knowing eyes. But as you do he quickly slaps you in the back of your head forcing you to stare directly ahead and away form his brilliant supper nova like talent .And he pounds you more and enters you ever deeper he is like a thermobaric bomb detonating in your ass. You want to stare at his glory.. alas he will not let so you bite the red ball in your mouth tighter as he.....
Dummism by BritainsFinest	Mar 18th, 2002 08:08:34 PM
Do you know what machismo means? If you did you wouldn't put it in your reveiw. My definition of machismo is a big fat bald ugly looking gorilla smellin and has a third inverted nipple with buffalo balls growing out of the back of his neck named Harry.
Dear Lord... by SamWave	Mar 18th, 2002 08:13:24 PM
That's the strangest thing I've seen all week. Holy crap.
Nice one Harry!! by crozz	Mar 18th, 2002 08:39:10 PM
Man that was a cool review Harry. Edgy, but cool. Blade 2 looks like the shit! Well Harry you have just confirmed that you are the wierdest, most fucked up , and coolest critic out there. And that why we love ya. Keep up the good work.
Blade 2...........a miss! by TWan	Mar 18th, 2002 08:44:39 PM
BUT not an intentional miss, at least not yet. confused? i live in Canada and i dont know how the rating system works in theatres in the U.S., but if a movie is rated R, the theatres give it either an AA rating, or flat out R. if its R, then NO one under the age of 18 can go see it. I am 16. I am now starting to believe that, because of Blade 2's nature, it will be given the title of R above any other. I have been waiting for this movie since the VERY first rumors surfaced and to not be able to see it in all its glory makes me want to puke. it seems as tho i will have some serious sneaking action to attend to... the 'R' rating would also be a stupid idea because the sheer amount of money the movie will lose due to the lack of teenage viewers will be astonishing. I know no one out there can change this fate, (anyone?....didnt think so...) i just thought i should let all the other victims (yes, VICTIMS!) of this tragedy know that they are not alone... ... FUCK!
DID I JUST STUMBLE INTO PENTHOUSE FORUM!? by empyreal0	Mar 18th, 2002 09:07:54 PM

Aliceinwonderland... by Mr Bonefish	Mar 18th, 2002 09:21:00 PM
Your comments on Harry's review made reading that garbage worth every minute. "ski mask"...ha ha.
HELLBOY ROLE-PLAYING GAME from SJG by Squashua	Mar 18th, 2002 09:25:53 PM
Speaking of Hellboy, didja know a role-playing game was going to come out soon? Sure! It's over at Steve Jackson Games: http://www.sjgames.com/hellboy /
If Harry were Lester Bangs, he might possibly get away with this by Billy Talent	Mar 18th, 2002 09:40:32 PM
Unfortunately, Harry is likely the world's worst famous writer. As if Oz counselled the Cowardly Lion he could eat people, the Ol' Teddy Bear looks like he's coming apart at the seams. Showing its stuffings, so to say. It's kinda captivating in a crazy kinda way. Of course it's Harry's right to write whatsoever he likes, and in so doing reveal himself as the kind of an asshole no one likes. What sort of stuff do you figure the big guy's really got kickin' around inside that great big noggin of his?
Hey,I can do a dirty movie review too! by Atlantis2001	Mar 18th, 2002 09:43:08 PM
"A Beautiful Mind" review. This movie started off good.I was impressed by Russell Crowe's performance.It was so good it felt like a hot girl pulled down my pants, got down on her knees and pleasured me.It felt,I mean it was, so good.Oh,oh...oh yeah... oh yes...Russel Crowe's first half performance!!!!!...oh, oh,oh my god,I think I'm going to lose it...RUSSELL CROWE'S 1ST HALF PERFORMANCE!!!!!!!! OH YES!!!!!!!! Now then,as the movie went along,the chemistry between Crowe and Jennifer Connelly kept the movie moving strong.It was so good,it was like being at an orgy. An all nude,supermodel filled orgy where the supermodels were doing it with each other.And I'm naked too,and getting in on the action.Hmmmmmmm....ohhhhh... Crowe and Connelly's chemistry...yes,oh yes.Touch me there.But this movie fell apart in the 2nd half,and failed to recapture it's strong promise it had in the 1st half.It was like if you're a 17-year old and you're going to get some for the 1st time,and you start doing it with this hot girl,and it feels so good,and you're going at it and going at and then you start going at it too hard,and then you go too far and the girl stops, yells at you,puts on her clothes and leaves! Wait...don't go,baby! Get back here!!! Don't leave!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm getting stupider just responding to this. by The Continental	Mar 18th, 2002 09:43:39 PM
Wow was that a stupid review. It seems as if alot of the guys have been phoning it in lately, what with Harry and the review minus any actual review, Herc's lack of spoilers on his Coax talkbacks, or hell even lacking the talk backs themselves until a day or so after the show. At least Moriarty is still on the ball. Granted he can wax poetic and ramble on with the best of them, but at least it wouldn't pass for anything Bob Guccione would want printed.
P.S... by Atlantis2001	Mar 18th, 2002 09:44:44 PM
I'm not a pervert people...I'm just trying to make a point.Just want to clear that up!
Good show luiscypher by The Continental	Mar 18th, 2002 09:47:10 PM
Holy shit luiscypher, that's the funniest damn thing I've read on this site in a while.
Classy Harry... by bralli	Mar 18th, 2002 10:27:19 PM
And to think I was going to buy your book... I think I'll just renew my subscription to EW instead. Maybe you should take the $54.34 in royalties you are going to get from your book and get a lap dance or something... Come on, your a semi-celebrity now. I'm sure there is some LOTR/crack-whore out there that will let you go down on her. At least your description of the act might be based on experience rather that what you masterbate to... P.S. Love your site!
this is one of the FUNNIEST talkbacks i've come across in a by a goonie	Mar 18th, 2002 10:27:55 PM
and another note, i wonder how Father Geek felt about reading this review. that is, IF he read it. i know it would gross the hell out of me if my son wrote something like that on his super-popular website. not that i have a son, but you know...
Harry needed the deep dicking that Hellboy gave him. by HugoHeir	Mar 18th, 2002 10:40:05 PM
Hey harry, nice article, it's cool that you can write this fucked up stuff and get away with it, but like the rest of these talkbakers, we'd like to see a review attached to it next time. Also, I thought I'd let you know that in some places, women will have sex with you for money. Think about it.
all you fanboys who compare action scenes and fx shots in genre by Virgil Sollozzo	Mar 18th, 2002 11:25:57 PM

Harry the Amateur by FormerFan01	Mar 18th, 2002 11:31:20 PM
Am I offended by this review...no. I'm no prude so sex talk (or swearing) doesn't make me cover my ears. With that said, this has to be the most sophomoric, incoherent, nonsense "review" I've ever read. One thing that has always turned me off about this site is the inability for individuals to write reviews without cussing like drunken sailors. Do you think it's impressive? I stopped thinking swearing was cool in high school, Harry. You know, you have this blue box to the right here talking about your God-like power to delete people for being "jerkwad losers"...well, I wish I had a delete button for you and your lack of common sense and class. Films are amazing creations of a persons imagination, and I love a great film as much as the next fan - but your oral sex analogy is off the page ridiculous. It's something a 14 year old would write, then giggle about as his friends read it. I think it's time for those of us who appreciate real reviews from real movie fans (not fanboy industry-insiders) to take our valuable time elsewhere. Goodbye!
Charming... by Theta	Mar 18th, 2002 11:46:20 PM
Hey, Harry, why don't you get laid and write a straight review, instead of subjecting us to the above? Sorry, man, this is demanding too much.
I get it! Harry hated the movie! by Petrov	Mar 19th, 2002 12:09:31 AM
I agree with Harry. This movie does suck. I think most of the talkbacks miss his point. Harry likes his friend too much to just say the film sucked. So instead he went on this pornographic analogy to make the point. The whole review can be translated into "This movie sucked so bad I had to eat five tubs of buttered popcorn to get through it. I was so distressed at how my friend had made such a terrible movie that I began choking on the little kernels and Patch had to beat on me while Saffron performed the Heimlich. GOD IT SUCKED!!!" Thanks for saving me seven bucks Harry.
Jabba's prediction of what I'd write about Harry's r by gds@ucmc	Mar 19th, 2002 01:00:30 AM
I just wanted to acknowledge that the "what Upcomigmovies.com would say" thing Jabba wrote was, quite frankly, quite clever. Admittedly, I don't find myself reading other people's "takes" on my writing style often, so maybe I am a bit prone to being fascinated by it, but I had to seriously think about it, thinking "wait a second... I didn't write that, did I?" Hmmm. I hope I'm not that predictable. Gah. Anyway, if I was supposed to be flattered by the mimickry, I was. Thanks. Now, as to Harry's review of Blade II... I don't really have anything to say, because I haven't seen it yet. I have, however, read the script, and I was surprised that Harry lavished all the credit for the film on Del Toro, because I thought it was one of the best action scripts I've read... ever. In particular, the Whistler/Scud banter reads as very funny... you want to see Kris Kristofferson saying these lines. Thus far, I've been a bit underwhelmed by what I've seen of Blade II... none of the teasers, trailers, images, etc. have wowed me the way that trailer for the first film did, or as you might know if you read my site a lot, many trailers, of all varieties, sometimes wow me. Of course, teasers are designed to wow you. That's why they're called teasers. They tease you into thinking an ultimately unsatisfying movie is worth working an hour or three of your day job for. The irony is that some of the best films have the worst trailers (my theory is that distributors with quality product on their hands feel they don't have to work as hard). Anyway, that's all off the subject, and given for free to the visitors of another guy's site. I must be feeling generous today. Or maybe I just figure getting some of my own writing out here on a well-trafficked TalkBack will win over a few more fans to a site I love working on. Geez, that sounds so contrived. The truth is... I just saw my site's name and thought "someone mentioned me!" Neat! Wee! Five years later in this crazy Internet business, and all of it still amazes me. What a small world this has become. To be reading something you think you have no relation to, and see yourself mentioned, and to be so amazed, you just have to respond. And a few hundred words later, here I am. There you go.
Guillermo Del Toro's Swirling Tongue by junglejim	Mar 19th, 2002 01:18:04 AM
Having barely recovered from the shudders of ecstasy the Blade 2 premiere has brought me to, this review was a nice attempt to try to get me there again, but Guillermo has spoiled me for anyone else Harry. This is your most right on review since your Cameron Diaz's swirling ass review. Your review is like a well placed clue in a thriller and as soon as the unbelievers see this film they will understand, go ahh, and layback and enjoy.
Harry Knowles: The Crack-Whore Pt.1 The Lameness Begins by nazismasher	Mar 19th, 2002 01:34:37 AM
... so goes the life of the obese and pathetic. I think I've read better creative writing on the walls of bathroom stalls.
Hey, ShadowInc... by GimliMcGimpy	Mar 19th, 2002 02:07:42 AM
... you're an insensitive bastard. Didn't you know Harry's mom fucking died when he was a teen. Accidentally set the house on fire and went down with it. I think Big Red's mentioned it in at least 4-dozen reviews, if you ever paid attention. And whoever said TalkBackers have the power and not Harry... you're an idiot too. Almost all the troll talkbackers here are idiots, and they don't have half the connections and advanced infor that Harry has. I'd call that some power. Or at least some means of keeping on the pulse of Hollywood. Moreso that all you asses. Why do you all come here if you hate it so much anyway? Really? The man gave you plenty of warning, and you know he does sick shit like this most of the time. You complaining babies are either mongoloid idiots or annoying masochists. Go away and leave the fun people alone.
walkin' down talkback memory lane... by Ambrose Chappell	Mar 19th, 2002 02:34:46 AM
My favorite talkback ever was for a cool news post two years ago about a possible Transformers movie. Everyone just seemed to band together with love for that project. It was great: talkbackers shared memories of childhoods spent playing with Transformer toys, thoughts on what the movie would look like, and who would be their dream actors to do the voices. There were even some talkbackers that were setting up trades of taped episodes of the tv series. I might be wrong, but I don't remember there being any negative posts on that article. Reading through a talkback like this one just makes me long for times when geeks have all been on the same page about a project. I miss the happy times, guys.
Ambrose... by LlGHTST0RMER	Mar 19th, 2002 04:47:28 AM
...the thing I remember about that Transformers TalkBack (from late '99, if I recall correctly...) was one poster who had this pretty sweet idea for a teaser trailer for a live-action TF flick. It involved a BMW-commercial-style long shot of two cars racing each other down a long country road (like the Autobahn, perhaps,) then a tree crashes down on the road in front of them, and instead of swerving or crashing into it, the two cars immediately transform into their robot "selves", hop over the thing, run a few more steps, then transform back into cars and race past the camera. I still think that is one hell of a clever idea. Hell, even if the movie never gets made, I'd give anything just to see such a trailer. ;-) Oh... and to remain on topic, Harry has now offically made me lose any desires I had to see Blade 2, or to have oral sex ever again.
OK, I couldn't help myself... if you want to visit TalkBacks by LlGHTST0RMER	Mar 19th, 2002 05:11:57 AM
... check out http://aint-it-cool-news.com/d isplay.cgi?id=8054 and http://aint-it-cool-news.com/d isplay.cgi?id=4991 . It certainly has balls all to do with Blade 2, but Ambrose just got me thinking about it. Back in the days before my name graduated to the iconic, all-caps presentation it now enjoys... ah, my youth.
Thanks for the links, LIGHTSTORMER by Ambrose Chappell	Mar 19th, 2002 05:31:54 AM
I think that whole talkback of geek togetherness can be summed up with a post Niiiice made with the subject heading "You're all right."
Okay, this is just gross by johncage	Mar 19th, 2002 06:16:17 AM
Hi there. This review, if you want to call it that, was really in poor taste. I think I'm going to vomit just thinking of the, uh, metaphor AND Harry Knowles. Okay. I'm sick now. Thanks for that. Have a good day then, I suppose. John Cage http://get.to/spidey
LlGHTST0RMER, I totally remember that Transformer trailer idea t by Ambrose Chappell	Mar 19th, 2002 06:26:29 AM
It was a sweet idea. And, man, that picture Harry posted sure was cool too (even if it wasn't official). Wow...think of all that has happened in the world of geekdom since that posting back in '99. We have new Star Wars and Lord of the Rings movies. The world's a good place to live in.
If Kevin Smith Wrote This It Would Have Been Funnny. by da bomb18	Mar 19th, 2002 06:37:10 AM
Whereas Harold just comes across like a dirty pervert,the sort of person who really would spack themselves off in a cinema.Anyway Blade 2 sounds good,however i lack excitment,the fat bugger stole it all with that Episode 2 review.
You pack Cunts !!!!!!! by Karnov	Mar 19th, 2002 07:02:29 AM
Fer chissake! The one thing that distinguishes this site is its CHARACTER. I come here to read reviews that are not transcribed from press kits. Harry is unabashed and unapologetic in his running of the site as an outlet for his passion for film, sometimes his passion is, well, extreme but hey he at least writes an intresting review. To the moral majoritarians "insulted on behalf of women" SHUT THE FUCK UP, you could proberbly learn a thing or two from re-reading the review.......... Bitches
To All Those Who Liked This Review by JmyStwrt	Mar 19th, 2002 08:01:46 AM
Its obvious how old you all are, since your defense of Harry's abysmal review usually involves just as much profanity and "cool" slang like "numbnuts." In any case, please realize that this is not an attack on free speech by prudish old men, rather, this is disapproval of some of the poorest writing I have ever seen on this site and a plea to actually review the movie. AICN is going downhill.
I didn't know that Al Goldstein... by ajy1	Mar 19th, 2002 09:10:37 AM
writes reviews for this site! I think Harry should leave the sex stuff out and give us the real meat: the review itself. I think I'm going to skip lunch today.
To a movie reviewer that does not, in fact, review the movie... by CorranHorn	Mar 19th, 2002 10:53:03 AM
Mr. Knowles, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone at this page is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Harry needs to watch Almost Famous a few times. by SmackAttack	Mar 19th, 2002 10:58:10 AM
I wasn't offended, I was just didn't want to risk visualizing anything further down the page. This review is simply disturbing. I love ya Harry, but I don't really care (sorry) how buddy buddy you are with Del Toro. I don't really care, furthermore, how he performs oral. This is hands down the worst review I have ever read for a film. What are you becoming, Harry? Don't forget your roots as first and foremost an unbiased critic of a world-wide industry. It seems like you are allowing yourself to be sucked in . . . I think you need to watch Almost Famous a few more times.
Harry, you are a fucking pig by Jar Jar Boinks	Mar 19th, 2002 12:12:13 PM
Harry, you are a fucking disgusting and infantile frat-boy pig. Figures you'd masturbate in your own lack of creativity, so proud of yourself. Do us a favor, take ten bucks outta your promotional miscellaneous expenses purse and get a whore to give you a blowjob, ferfucksake. It's pretty obvious you have difficulty getting laid -- and perhaps with your fat gut interfering, your arms aren't long enough to stroke yourself --but why do you feel the perverted need to advertise it...? Save us all the embarrassment and pay for a hooker, okay? Loser.
If the movie experience was akin to cunnilingus, your review is by Yojimbo Jones	Mar 19th, 2002 12:27:08 PM
Hey Harry, why don't you just go to a strip club, undress yourself in front of the stage and scream, "I haven't been laid in seven years!!!" You'd probably get the same reaction as you get from your sophomoronic Blade 2 review -- people laughing at you. Spare us. Go take your tongue, shove it up del Toro's ass, and start rotating. Up and down, back & forth, left and right, and be sure to hit the taint, you sick fuck log-rolling piece of shit sell-out scumbag.
BLADE II by ajw456	Mar 19th, 2002 12:38:53 PM
I was already anxious to see this flick, but now I am totally psyched! I pity those fools who are so obsessed with nonsensical details of FANTASY movies that they can not allow themselves to get lost in the adventure and ENJOY! Who cares whether Whistler's comeback explanation is water tight or not? What matters is, is the movie more fun, more entertaining with him? If so, then just enjoy and shut yer fuckin pie hole! Whattaya-a fuckin private eye or sumtin'-more likely just a dick. Anyway, I have loved Blade from the first moment, and have awaited this sequel with great anticipation. I am thrilled that the first reviews I have seen are so extraordinarily positive. I AM FUCKIN PUMPED!! See ya in "the front row"!!!
WORST ...REVIEW...EVER. by Furious George	Mar 19th, 2002 12:48:48 PM
I honestly don't think I'll ever bother to read another one of this dipshit's reviews. I'll stick with Moriarity, and some of the people who might have actually seen a pussy in real life. P.S. I think Harry wants a vagina, and he wants Del Toro to eat him out. What a fucking loser. And his comments on 'Clones" - best Star Wars movie ever... oh my god, it's Wild Wild West all over again.
Let's set the record straight... by quiscustodiet	Mar 19th, 2002 12:49:35 PM
The firste ammendment as it stands in the United States is worded in such a way that the government cannot sponsor a law that will restrict the right of any individual to say what they like. End of conversation. To disagree with someone who has written something like this tasteless piece of garbage is not a condemnation of the first ammendment, it's using their right to free speech to counter-act this sort of thing, to allow their ideas to represent their views and hopefully change minds. I am not offended by this review, I am sickened by it. I am sickened because people think this is daring or this is cutting edge. It's not. It hasn't expanded how we view journalism and it hasn't introduced a new style into the genre, it's just bad writing covering up for bad thought procces because Harry wanted to be seen as cool again. Sorry, Harry, leave stream of consciousness stuff to those who have the mental capacity for it and the ability to reference outside of movies, sex or the famous people they know! (BTW, and you called me fucking retarded, thanks! Your opinion now means so much after this review!)
Not funny. Not offensive. Just downright STUPID. by Mr. Wednesday	Mar 19th, 2002 01:11:09 PM
Not that this site ever had anything approaching journalistic integrity, but um....This is sad even for this dirt rag.
Did I miss something? by abihu	Mar 19th, 2002 01:12:41 PM
Other than a couple of very freaky and visually interesting scenes -- namely the opening disco-turned-vampire-bloodbath and the vampire-execution-at-daybreak scenes -- I felt that Blade was a pretty mediocre movie at best. Now there's a sequel?Reading this review, you'd think he'd seen the Second Coming while getting a blow job. I'll have to see it to believe it.
MOST VICIOUS...TALKBACK...EVER by Ambrose Chappell	Mar 19th, 2002 01:40:44 PM
Seriously. It's JUST a movie review.
would the Bloom County Picayune have printed this article? by durhay	Mar 19th, 2002 01:51:41 PM
Of course not - The Sunday Morning Muffin Club would have cancelled their subscription.
that's just gross by chiknfriedelfsac	Mar 19th, 2002 01:56:17 PM
Hearing one big fat guy talk about another big fat guy eating pussy...shudders. Anybody who knows how to eat pussy knows you don't start right on the clit btw, obviously someone needs some schooling in that area.
Harry is a fat idiot by Darth Stern	Mar 19th, 2002 02:13:02 PM
That was the most insanely idiotic review I have ever read. We are al dumber for having read it. Harry is awarded no points and may God have mercy on his soul.
I know I've already said this... by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 02:21:56 PM
But if you don't like it, THEN DON'T FUCKING READ IT. HOW HARD IS THAT? You know what I've noticed? The talkbacks are beginning to be taken over by nothing but TROGLODYTES WHO SEEM TO THINK THAT HARRY HAS SOME KIND OF FUCKING OBLIGATION TO THEM. And you know something else? Someone brought up half a good point earlier. If Kevin Smith had written this, you would all be creaming over it like it was an original copy of the Gospel. Anybody who thinks that ain't the truth is a FUCKING HYPOCRITE. But noooo, Harry wrote it, and it's a little different from his usual style ... oh yeah ... and hes a little on the heavy side, so he isn't allowed to write the word "pussy". I'll let you in on a little secret, gang: Harry probably gets more of it than any of YOU have in recent months. I don't know what's happened here. Seems like ever since Harry hit it big, his fan base has become a bunch of SNIVELLING, JEALOUS LITTLE SHITS who have nothing better to do than PICK THEIR PATHETIC, HOG-LIKE SNOUTS AND CRITICIZE EVERYTHING HARRY DOES TO DEATH AND SWEAR UP AND DOWN AND OVER AND OVER THAT THEY'RE SICK OF HARRY'S STARFUCKER ATTITUDE ... and then guess what they do, kids? THEY COME BACK THE VERY NEXT FUCKING DAY AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN. You know why? Because they can't let Harry, seemingly a geek like any other, succeed. Because they've been talking for months about how much better they are than Harry, and how Harry's a fat starfucking moron who can't write. But now the fat starfucking moron's written a book, which is a whole hell of a lot more than ALL OF YOU HAVE MANAGED TO DO LIVING IN YOUR MOTHER'S HOUSE, DIGGING THROUGH A BAG OF ROLD GOLD PRETZELS, DOWNLODING ANIME, AND PLAYING YOUR COMPUTER ROLEPLAYING GAMES. Here's the truth, deal with it and face it: Harry has gotten ahead. And you haven't. And that makes you jealous, so you mock him and get RIDICULOUSLY INDIGNANT over some naughty words that, if written by anyone who didn't look like Harry, would have been praised as a creative idea for a review! Seriously people ... if you want to be taken seriously, the last thing you should do is cite Harry's physical appearance as an argument against this review. When you do that, you reveal just HOW PETTY YOU PATHETIC PEOPLE REALLY ARE. That's all. Harry, write whatever the fuck you want, man. It's your site. Peace out.
Xmen2-needs-a-full-CGI-Colossus by Xmen2-needs-a-fu	Mar 19th, 2002 02:30:55 PM
Maybe they can speed up the film during the car scenes like they did in the first blade movie so it looks like the old batman tv shows. Did any of you notices that? LAME! as for the review, uh was there a review? All I read was a weak attempt at humor or porn I couldnt tell which.
"BITCHES... LEAVE!" by Ruby_Rod	Mar 19th, 2002 02:43:54 PM
Seriously. Leave. Go to another website and leave Aintitcool for people who enjoy movies and aren't uptight. Reviews like this one are why I love Harry and why this is one of my favorite sites. You know what? Harry is 100% punk fucking rock, as much a credit to Austin as the Butthole Surfers or the Motards. If this totally inoffensive, but funny as hell review offends you, you should be getting your movie news from Zap2it. Keep up the good work, Harry. Ignore the player-hating little kids who look for any excuse to bust your balls. Don't play it safe... strut your goddamn stuff. We grown-ups love it.
where's the review? by staley	Mar 19th, 2002 02:51:47 PM
PS - I'm gonna fucking puke.
Blade 2 by DoJoTy	Mar 19th, 2002 02:58:10 PM
Aside from Harry's basically repulsive, incoherent review, I think he and Father Geek have been spending too much as friends with Guillermo Del Toro to objectively talk about his movie. As Guillermo essentially said at the premiere (which I attended), he set out to make a movie that was "fun." Well, it was certainly a hell of a rollercoaster ride with some amazing, eerie, and over-the-top sequences and a lot to recommend. But it wasn't as much fun as I hoped it would be. The script was weak and full of holes, and there was not a single character that you could relate to, or even sympathize with. Everyone is so pissed, so bad-ass, so inhuman (in fact, there's only about one-and-a-half humans in the entire picture -- it takes place entirely in a world of vampires), that you cannot relate to them at all. "Blade 2" ultimately has the distance and monotony of a video game. Del Toro can certainly do action, and do it well, coupled with some incredible visuals and colors, but I like his "quiet" horror way better.
Why is it that Harry's defenders need to resort to name call by quiscustodiet	Mar 19th, 2002 03:03:52 PM
...of people who don't agree with them. Can't you simply defend him and move on but this calling of people "bitches" "cunts" and other debasing terms is not helping the cause any. Let's hear a solid well written article defending this article!
You wanna know why we call names? by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 03:12:58 PM
Because it's the only way to make yourself heard around here. If you write a nice, polite article asking everyone to let Harry run his site his way and point out the blatant envy and hypocrisy evident in the posts that blast him ... well, you get ignored. If, however, you SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR FUCKING LUNGS that ALL YOU JERK-OFFS need to BACK THE FUCK OFF OF BIG RED, you might just get heard. Besides, I like to piss off the people who whine about Harry's "filthy, low-class review" by continuing to be filthy and low-class. They're just words, people. They've only got power if you give it to them. See my point? I mean, if you want to have an intelligent conversation, you're in the wrong place if you're on a talkback anyway.
So, quiscustodiet... by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 03:17:15 PM
Why are YOU here if you find Harry so disgusting? Explain. This should be fascinating.
You may have noticed but the rats are leaving, Harry. This might by wak15	Mar 19th, 2002 03:20:29 PM
And why was my previous TB removed? Its not as if I said said anything remotely as bad as whats already out there. Just its not big, its not clever, and its not hard.
Hey ... too many Oliver Stone pics for wak15... by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 03:38:05 PM
I'm waiting for someone smart to come along and knock me on my ass ... c'mo. If you're one of the jackasses who knocked Harry, I want to hear from you. Bring it on, folks. I'll answer as many as I can.
useless tripe by loki t. dog	Mar 19th, 2002 03:53:22 PM

That was a fucking REVIEW?!?!! by Love's Bit-ka	Mar 19th, 2002 03:55:00 PM
How the fuck can you call that incoherent and immature babbling a review of Blade 2?! Plot? Characters? Your opinion on the film? Where were ANY of these staples of movie reviews?! No, instead Harry gives us a few hundred words on going down on a woman (which, let's face it, he's never actually done). Plus, how can you even compare the amazing act of giving oral sex to a woman with watching a fucking movie (yeah, even Blade 2). Geez, get a life, you tubby bitch...
Just because Harry is the worlds fattest virgin why does that me by JackBurton	Mar 19th, 2002 04:21:21 PM
I mean come on, I doubt the guy knows what "pussy" (and what a marvelously 12 year old word that is) either smells or feels like, let alone that he has any idea about "going down"...I mean lets face it, the guys knees couldn't handle the damn pressure anyways. Besides which, didn't this place used to be a movie site? I mean sure Harry's reviews have always been stupidly over the top and poorly written at the best of times, but this truly is a new low. Does anyone really want to see this kind of shit on tv spewing from his face in technicolor? Didn't think so.
LesterB by SmackAttack	Mar 19th, 2002 04:34:13 PM
I'm not out to start fights. I'm not out to swear. I just want to know what makes this review worth reading. Because its different than any other review? Because it dares to get raunchy? Because it was completely unexpected, and therefore should be praised? I read part of it because I read most of the articles posted on the site. I did stop after the second paragraph. Quite simply, I don't feel that Harry and Co. owe me anything. But I do believe, however, that a web site as popular as AICN has a responsiblity to at least appear credible to it's readers.
my first and last visit to AICN by chgochick	Mar 19th, 2002 04:56:48 PM
Wow, I mean WOW! Hubby has been yowling about this site for weeks now and sent me the link to this (generously labelled) review this morning. Why? perhaps because we want to see Blade II, perhaps because he knows I enjoy brave audaciously written screeds, and perhaps because I have earned my living as a pornographer and might be amused. I'm not. It is just sad and pathetic to obfuscate any possible information or opinions about an upcoming movie with pretentious and trite sexual analogies. Enduring this pre-pubescent drivel thinly masked as a movie review has decreased my desire for both the film in question and pornography for at least a few weeks. If by some bizarre twist of fate the sexual invocations described here really are part and parcel of the Blade II experience then when I do experience them it will only be diminished and polluted by these barely coherent rambling unfortunately stuck now in the neurotransmitters of my brain cells. Too bad for my hubby, because for sending me here he won't get the sexual invocations that he otherwise would have enjoyed this week. This hawking gobshite has sprained my libido for at least a fortnight.
NEEDED: ONE VOLUNTEER TO FUCK FATASS HARRY KNOWLES by adrianmole	Mar 19th, 2002 05:18:04 PM
Jesus ... Would one female of the species please make the ultimate sacrifice and fuck this geekboy virgin before he explodes into one big smelly pile of jizz
chgochick, I don't know what you're in, but it's not by SmackAttack	Mar 19th, 2002 05:22:34 PM
Excuse me, but "screeds" and "obfuscate?" Aren't those just buzzowrds that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. (pause) I'm fired, aren't I? ;)
In my excitement to post a message, I typed a word to fast. chan by SmackAttack	Mar 19th, 2002 05:27:23 PM

All of you are limited. by KJAY	Mar 19th, 2002 05:54:00 PM
That review was excellent: interesting, well written and it offers a response to a film. Those are the most basic elements of a 'good' film review. I'm not sure what else you want. If you prefer that a review not use sexual descriptions read Roger Ebert, and you can also make fun of his weight while you are at it because that certainly is a valid criticism of a film review. No, it really is: feel free to use someone's weight against them because you disagree with what they write. That makes perfect sense. Also, to denounce someone because of what is essentially a stylistic choice: simply another way of relaying information and impression is limited. You may also want to travel back in time so that you can settle North America with the Puritans. There were fewer interesting movie reviews then and you may be less offended. Sincerely, kjay
Oy...you know, when someone hits 30, that person has had sex at by Lenny Nero	Mar 19th, 2002 06:06:58 PM
Think about the logic in that. Hell, I've seen people much worse than Harry get laid, mainly trailer trash people who weigh more than even Harry. Everyone's bound to get laid sooner or later. Harry is a horny bastard, I agree, but I'm assuming he has had pussy. Uhm...yeah. that's all
Responses pt. 1 by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 07:05:31 PM
SmackAttack: Harry has no responsibility to you or the rest of us. You choose to come here. You choose to read the reviews. Period. Popularity has nothing to do with it. If it did, I would have the right to demand forty dollars from Arnold Schwarzenegger, since I thought his last five flicks sucked. But I don't ask that, since I CHOSE to see the film, and I CHOSE to watch it.
Shade... by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 07:08:12 PM
You're not worth a response. You could learn something from SmackAttack and Ebonic Plague about at least TRYING.
Ebonic Plague.... by LesterB	Mar 19th, 2002 07:18:02 PM
Okay, this is the kind of response I like to see. Measured, intelligent, good enough to almost shut me up. Sadly, it wasn't quite enough. I think, EP, you misunderstand my point. Either that or I misrepresented it, which is entirely plausible given how pissed I was after reading the general response to the review. What pisses me off isn't what's being said, it's the childish way people are saying it. Calling Harry a big fat, pathetic, starfucking virgin is unintelligent, not to mention hypocritical. If you hate him so much, stop patronizing his site. It's ungrateful and sad. It's morons like this that give the rest of us Internet folks a bad name. Now ... do they have the right to say it? Of course, but when they do, they'd better be ready to expect the same treatment they give Harry from me.
Couldn't live without Ain't It Cool News, eh, ebonic pla by CoolDan989	Mar 19th, 2002 07:59:49 PM
I gotta hand it to ya though, you're pretty gutsy to come back here after being banned (And I honestly don't know why they did that)
LesterB... you are the man now, dog! by PattyOGreen	Mar 19th, 2002 08:16:53 PM
Dude... you're fucking awesome for being the unrelenting true fan. And actually, to all you who take so much energy and time and emotion to shout and scream and piss your pants about what Harry writes, just think about this - he probably just reads all your whiney little posts and laughs his ass off, then goes and looks at his bank account again. You do know that every time you come here, he makes money, right? I'd find nothing in life more highly amusing than people paying me to bitch about whatever the hell I choose to put up on the bandwidth I owned. Me, though... I'm happy to be putting money in Harry's coffers. He's simply one-of-a-kind on the net. As is this site.
Harry you fat bastard ... by Raptorman101	Mar 19th, 2002 08:28:00 PM
you need to get your self a life!
Harry "jumped the shark" long ago. by eraser_x	Mar 19th, 2002 10:32:32 PM
Now he's jumping entire herds of whales. Man, I only visit this site now about once every few weeks, just to check up on the current state of decay of Harry and his site. I think I need to cut back even further. As one of my favorite columnists is fond of saying, "stick a fork in him, he's DONE." By the way, I've long ago concluded that Harry is an unlikeable person, who is becoming less and less inhibited about revealing his true, boring, unappealing self. Oh well, I guess this post may get me banned. Whatever.
a further response, what came first, the Del Torro, or Harry? by SmackAttack	Mar 19th, 2002 11:23:54 PM
Is this even worth debating about? I have one opinion, you have another. Neither of us are changing our minds. One thing is certain, however. If Harry has the right to post this review, we have the right to tell him whats wrong or right with it as consumers of his product. Its basic economics. Cheers.
a retraction by something001	Mar 20th, 2002 04:03:00 AM
My previous post was a personal attack, my apologies Harry.
not very funny, Harry by winky	Mar 20th, 2002 04:29:28 AM
My young son and I enjoy your website and like to read about the reviews and comments from other fans. But this review about such a pornographic film is very disappointing to me. Plus such a dirty review format. We thought you were a christian Harry what happened to decency and values? Plese be careful in the future because young eyes are watching and respect you. Your their hero for Gods sake.
You can all kiss my chocolate starfish! by Karnov	Mar 20th, 2002 04:30:37 AM
Oh grow up people, it amazes me that folks that interested enough to read about an R rated movie are so shocked by this review, it sickens me that there is so little defence of Harry in this forum filled with peop

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