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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

No X-files News Recap? by Obi1Balony	Feb 23rd, 2002 10:58:41 AM
I mena yeah I know the show now sucks......but hey....bright side he is returning for the 2 hour series finale.....perhaps that may be worth watching. I also read that the last four eps before the finale....aare supposed to all be devoted to tying up loose ends. Perhaps Chri$ Carter looked up the word Closure and will try to bring some of us some of it.
The future looks bright... by Silver_Joo	Feb 23rd, 2002 11:50:21 AM
... 'Black Hawk Down with werewolves' anybody? Oh dear.
Great, another Mariah Carey movie... by Bjmmn103	Feb 23rd, 2002 11:52:16 AM
Just what the world needs.
How the fuck can something be "Black Hawk Down with werewolves?" by Regis Travolta	Feb 23rd, 2002 02:02:12 PM
If that's not the dumbest idea I've ever heard I don't know what is.
all sorts of mixed feelings here by ItsOver	Feb 23rd, 2002 02:51:18 PM
On the negative side: I absolutely love the Jungle Book and can't imagine how any follow up can hold a candle to the first, which is pure joy. I mean who's going to voice King Louie? David Lee Roth? "Like Black Hawk Down with werewolves..." Well if that ain't the dumbest, most crass pitch I ever heard. And I love werewolf movies. **** The good: Yay! LaBute and Renee! Nurse Betty was one of the few enjoyable films of 2000 and Renee is just wonderful. Even her name is fun to say "Zellweger" Bill Murray in Bad Santa? Score! Why do I think the Coens and Zwigoff explaining "the true meaning of Christmas" will be nuts?
Sean Connery film sounds neat... by BigTuna	Feb 23rd, 2002 03:55:56 PM
At least i'll look forward to that film.
Zwigoff and the Coen Brothers collaborating on a "true meaning o by HoichiTheEarless	Feb 23rd, 2002 04:06:45 PM
Hmmm....
"like Black Hawk Down, but with WEREWOLVES" the next bomb-in-rib by Darth TJ Mackey	Feb 23rd, 2002 04:39:01 PM
I feel bad for Buzz Maverik in a way. How can even the most clever or imaginative post he creates come close to some real life shit like that? Reality is trumping parody for ridiculousness in a big way these days.
'NSYNC to Sing Anthem at Closing Ceremony, Tells world "You by JAGUART	Feb 23rd, 2002 05:55:10 PM
SALT LAKE CITY (Reuters) - 'NSYNC will sing the American national anthem during Sunday's closing ceremony of the Winter Olympics. This performance is intended to deal further humilation to opponents defeated by the US Olympic teams. Earlier this year, 'NYSNC was to be as used retribution against hyper-critical Star Wars fans who were dissatisfied with George Lucas and his treatment of The Phantom Menace. Their cameo was pulled however, due too a public outcry that deemed their use as "too excessive".
Since Buzz isn't here yet, I might as well stand in for him by KingKrypton	Feb 23rd, 2002 06:00:30 PM
TAKEN FROM THE PAGES OF OVERACTIVE LUNATIC FANTASIES: Director Roger Christian (BATTLEFIELD EARTH) and LeAnn Rimes will team together to make the comedy/murder mystery TEATS, about a epynomous stripper (Rimes) who, with her overly horny fellow dancer/best buddy (Christina Aguilera), ineptly tries to solve the murder of one of their colleagues. Unfortunately, they're both too stupid to realize that the clues lead directly to another fellow stripper (Sally Struthers), who hates them and wants to be the sole pole dancer at their club. Keith Richards appears as Rimes' love interest. Jon Peters will produce from a screenplay by Carrot Top, Corey Mandell (BATTLEFIELD EARTH), the Amazing Jonathan, and Joe Eszterhas. Warner Bros. will distribute.----Freddie Prinze Jr., Matthew Lillard, Tom Welling, and Keanu Reeves will star in the hip-hop farce WISE CRACKERS, about a gaggle of dopey white boys who train under a sucky rap outfit (the Cash Money Millionaires) to become a mega-successful hip-hop boy band that runs afoul a crazed, reggae-singing Hare Krishna boy band (the Backstreet Boys, 98 Degrees) wielding lethal Super Soakers filled with Snapple. DJ Pooh (THE WASH) will write and direct. Warner Bros. will distribute.----Speaking of WB, the studio has decided to green-light Kevin Costner's epic thriller SEAMAN RAMPAGE, in which Captain Nemo, Captain Ahab, Sinbad the Sailor, the Gorton's fisherman, Tommy the Tuna, Aquaman, and Namor all get PO'd because their respective bosses won't pay them proper royalties. So they all bad together as a terrorist group that destroys seafood restaurants and grocery store displays. Akiva Goldsman will script, Costner will direct and play the Gorton's fisherman. Music will be by Yoko Ono.----From WB's TV division, the stalled sitcom ARNIE has been re-energized and is on the fast track for Fall 2003. Arnold Schwarzengger will play a retired circus strongman who's forced to room with a wacky she-male (Crispin Glover) and a narcoleptic dominatrix who spends all her time traipsing about in the nude (Chyna). As a result, Ah-nuld has a really hard time explaining to his ex-wife and his kids about his lifestyle, and he can't get a date to save his life. Originally developed by Ain't It Cool News satirist Buzz Maverick, the sitcom will now be overseen by Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner (LOIS & CLARK), who believe that the show "needs some frog-eating clones in order to connect with Middle America." More on this as it develops.----Stay tuned to WKK1978 for more Hollywood news!
"too excessive" by Huneybee	Feb 23rd, 2002 06:14:05 PM
Hmmm...I don't recall any of the NSYNC/SW's posts ever using the phrase "too excessive." Most of the complaints were rude, crude and physiologically impossible, but I don't remember seeing "too excessive." sigh Just goes to prove you can't believe everything you read.____Black Hawk Down with werewolves? In which circle of hell would that be located? That I've obviously died and gone to movie hell is the only logical explanation for this bit of nonsense. Oh well, must go...satan is showing Rollerball followed by Glitter for our viewing pleasure. I don't wanna be late for that one!____Bee
Re: ebonic plague & KingKrypton (and Buzz Maverick in advance) by Drak_Tanner	Feb 23rd, 2002 09:11:02 PM
That's some funny shit, but when hackass studio execs pick up these ideas and start workshopping them, the world will know who to hunt down and punish (after the film execs, of course). I can see it now: **AICN Talkbackers Brutally Assaulted By Angry Film Mobs, Film Project Based On Their Story In Works, Described as "Black Hawk Down In A Movie Theater".**
Monterey Jack thank you for the nostaligia trip by ItsOver	Feb 23rd, 2002 11:24:37 PM
Tale Spin... damn. I haven't thought of that show in years. I remember my best friend getting really indignant about the show's liberal disregard for aerodynamics. I guess he was an Internet geek years before his time. ***** I don't remember King Louie very much from that show but Shere Khan looked great in that suit didn't he? Shere Khan: best Disney villain ever! Does anyone want to challenge this?
Buzz Maverik's Do-It-Yerself Recap. by Buzz Maverik	Feb 24th, 2002 05:37:39 PM
TAKEN FROM THE (LAST WORDS,REPORT CARD, DENTAL RECORD) OF (DUTCH SCHULTZ, GIOVONNI RIBISI'S CAREER, YOUR VIRGINITY)... Adam Resnick just sold his spec script (DOUBLE BAGGER, DO IT FOR GLORY,BEER BOTTLE EYES) to Jersey films. The story involves a (salad bar manager, quantum phyicist, cop on the edge) who has started dating an ugly woman with a great body and his efforts to psyche himself into having sex with her...Jerry Bruckheimer has signed (Michael Bay, Tony Scott, Simon West) to direct (REINHOLD, PISCOPO & HAYES; TRA-LA-DE-BOOM-DE-AY; BALL OF FIRE) about three out of work actors who form a detective agency. (Ben Affleck, Nicolas Cage, Wil Smith) is interested in the lead role...Walt Disney is getting back to good, old fashioned family fare with Brian Robbins' (NEVER MIND THE IGUANAS; SANCHO, THE LONESOME POLE CAT; THE MYSTERY OF GILA MONSTER GULTCH) starring (Chevy Chase, Bill Paxton, Mickey Rourke)...The latest comic book to film adaptation is (Alan Moore's, Neil Gaiman's, Rob Liefeld's) (ENGLISH-MAN; ROSEMARY SAYGE; DEATHBLUD) to be directed by fan fave (Joel Schumacher, Barry Sonnenfeld, Chris Columbus. The casting is controversial because (Leonardo Di Caprio, Seth Green, Ryan Phillipe) has been signed to play the guy in tights and his arch-enemy, the heretofore African American Top Brotha will be played by (Brendan Fraser, Angelina Jolie, Michael Caine). See you at the (commitment hearing, root canal, bar mitzvah)...
Ideal Potential Casting for State Of Emergency... by SouthSide_2010	Feb 24th, 2002 08:30:30 PM
LUIZ GUZMAN AS "SPANKY". He was last seen in Count of Monte Cristo and Traffic. Zhang Ziyi as Libra. Michael Clark Duncan as Bull. Robert Patrick as MacNeil. I know that this cast would absolutely rock in the chaotic city State of Emergency is set in. I hope the powers that be in charge of bringing this fantastic videogame to the big screen see this. BTW Dean Winters who plays O'Reilly on OZ would be perfect for the role of MAX PAYNE.
i'd tell you... by white jazz	Feb 25th, 2002 01:31:41 AM
...you assholes how they are going to do "Blackhawk Down with werewolves" but you will just have to pay your 8 bucks like everybody else. My friend sold that script to the producer of Speed amidst a furious bidding war among some of the biggest studios and producers in town. And by the way, it's not like he just hopped on some trend. He's been working on the script for years. That "pitch" was from Joel fucking Silver after he liked the script. It's what he wrote after being disappointed that Vampires wasn't exactly the supernatural Wild Bunch he expected. He's a fellow film geek like the rest of us who busted his ass to break into the film business. And by the way, if you think his idea sucks, then you should just see all the horrific pieces of shit they are sending him to rewrite. By glad none of THOSE are getting made and his will be soon. He's gonna be huge. Until then I'll just wait for all these great movies you guys wrote.
You forgot to mention the CRAPPY McG SUPERMAN PROJECT by travisbickleNY	Feb 25th, 2002 01:45:46 PM
That's right! McG (the jackass hack who directed that abortion Charlie's Angels, compelete with 20,000 script changes and Michael "somebody slam a chair on his head Bay -like direction) gets to direct and F-up the Superman frachise....Great Ceasar's ghost! Somebody please NAPALM Hollywood !!! Where's Jay and Silent Bob when you need them...Ted Demme dies and McG can't score some blow at a basketball game?
McG And Superman by Barron34	Feb 25th, 2002 03:25:50 PM
Yeah, I can't wait for that- an absurd hip-hop Superman to pumped techno music...McG should stick to dumb candy-coated crap like Charlie's Angels 2 and saty the hell away from the great American icon that is Superman...jeezus, don't those clowns over at Warners understand the importance of not screwing up one of their most valuable properties by assigning some jack-ass trendy director who knows nothing about a great character and who cares even less? Have they learned nothing from the Joel Shitmacher debacle with Batman? That character was put into the shitter for the last part of the 90s because of their shitty decisions, and they have yet to find a way to clean the crap off the character and return it to the big screen with any sort of dignity and with any potential to redeem the original character and make money off of it. Learn a lesson from Batman (the best work done with the character was Dini and Timm's animated stuff on TV). For God's sake, treat your characters with some dignity and respect- THEY ARE VALUABLE PROPERTIES AND YOU ARE THROWING THEM INTO THE TOILET WITH CRAP DIRECTORS LIKE SCHUMACHER AND McG...WAKE UP, WARNER'S!!! Rant over...

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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

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