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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

no. 1 by whiteboyrage	Nov 25th, 2001 11:56:53 PM
I think this is the shortest weekly recap I have ever been privy to. RAGE ON, BITCHES!!!!
First by juwamba	Nov 25th, 2001 11:57:30 PM
Brett Ratner isn't fit to direct Mentos commercials.
can't wait for I Am Legend to be raped by Jungle-face-jake	Nov 26th, 2001 12:02:05 AM
This is WAY off topic, but i just saw Man Who Wasn't There and i'm conviced that Billy Bob Thornton is BORN to play Rorshach! That is all
What A Brotha Know. by Public Enemy	Nov 26th, 2001 12:54:26 AM

hmmm, how hard would it be by wilko185	Nov 26th, 2001 12:56:14 AM
to write a program to periodically monitor this page for updates, and have it automatically post messages to new stories, something like, say, "Can't wait...such a huge fan!"? ___ Which is more sad, someone actually posting these messages, or someone writing a script to do it for them? (Or the fact that it's hard to tell typical human TB inanities from computer-generated ones?)
What A Brotha Know. (The Extended Remix) by Public Enemy	Nov 26th, 2001 01:13:13 AM
Aloha AICN 'tis I BUZZARO ring leader of PUBIC ENEMY a supergroup of talkbackers who are a 3rd rate rip off of the Mighty Mister Maverik. If Buzz is Pepsi, then we are RC COLA. Also sorry about the pre mature posting I assure you this is the only thing I do prematurely. Yah right. This week we learn that Limp Bizkit's FRED DURST is moving to Europe since everyone hear is "drinking massive amounts of HATORADE"...I think this idiot is trying to say since no one likes him here, he's leaving for Europe. Yeah they'll love you too there man, they hate americans anyway especially dirty red hat wearing ones. Call Fred at work 310 865 7671 or e-mail him at flawlessgroup@earthlink.net and tell him that you'll miss him. Here's an apparently highly caffeinated CHICKEN BONE JONES with his 2 cents :"Whoa what the fuck is going on in this world. First of all slammin' Salma Hayek dumps my boy Ed Norton, and now I find out that slammin Kim Bassinger is fucking Eminem on the set on their new movie. Good god man, I need to know how to rap so I can get myself a slam piece like Kim Bassinger, or I'll just hold out for single Salma Hayek's sweet sweet patootie. I bet Alec Baldwin shows up drunk on the set of that movie in his pajamas and beats the piss out of Eminem. CBJ OUT." Okay now here's Mr Gwieves..."Oh hi, I owiginawwy had something ewse to wite but I just found out thwough my souwces that Bwitney Speaws was just busted fowa undewage dwinking. This makes me vewwy happy because if the next time she is dwinking I will tew hewa that I am fwom NSYNC too and she will show me those big Bwitney boobies. bye" Thank you Mr Gwieves as always. Well that's it for this week's "What A Brotha Know" anyone have anything to contribute feel free! We'll print your thoughts e-mail us at MrG@Hollywood.com replies guaranteed. Especially if you all call Barbara Walters right now and tell her to do an episode on AICN talkbackers and we'll get Harry and Elston on there too yeah...call her at (212) 456 7777 and tell her that I smell like I sound, I'm lost and I'm found and I'm hungry like the wolf. All Hail NEDS ATOMIC DUSTBIN. Buzzaro out.
Nooooooooooooo by alpha	Nov 26th, 2001 01:39:20 AM
Clooney + Solaris = Great concept destroyed, someone stop this man before he destroys another film. By all accounts hes a great guy but he makes truly awful films.
Martin Lawrence stars in THE BOMB? Sometimes it's just too e by Cash Bailey	Nov 26th, 2001 02:45:41 AM
Mangold's I.D. sounds cool. I love a good siege picture.
Damn, McKenzie, how much longer are you gonna keep that up? by Cash Bailey	Nov 26th, 2001 02:48:10 AM
And Christopher, you'd be Soderbergh's bitch given the chance. Don't try to deny it.
Red Dragon by Silvio Dante	Nov 26th, 2001 02:59:09 AM
is a big break for Ratner, so big actually that the cynic in me can't help but wonder if he can handle it. This is not another Chris Tucker buddy-comedy nor shallow capraesque sentimentality like Family Man. And it certainly isn't a Mariah Carey promo. Even the mighty Ridley Scott had trouble with related material...but hey, I can't envision Bay directing IAL ur Clooney in Solaris either. So prove me wrong, misters Ratner, Bay and Soderbergh. After all, that's your job. And to complete this monday whine: a remake of "10"? With notoriously unfunny M.Lawrence? Perfetto.
Buzz Maverik's Thanksgiving Recap by Buzz Maverik	Nov 26th, 2001 03:15:02 AM
TAKEN FROM THE INDIANS -- We hosted the entire Maverik fam at Casa De Maverik this year. Talk about a pain the ass! I sent Mrs. Buzz down to the local Liquor Mall with a rented moving truck to stock up. We're actually a very traditional family with a lot of annual customs. For example, early in the morning, the day before Thanksgiving, we Maverik men set out in our 4x4s for an old fashioned roadkill hunt. This Thanksgiving was special because it was the first time Buzz Jr. was old enough to get in on the carnage. Mind you, he's still a little guy and has to be in a carseat (stupid California politicians). I bolted it onto the roof of my truck which gave him a good vantage point for manning the harpoon gun and winch. I was never prouder than when my boy reeled in that whatever-the-hell-it-used-t 9;-be that I'd ran over. The next afternoon, a feast fit for a court jester was laid out on the table. Roast roadkill with psychadelic mushroom stuffing, all the fixin's, including pumpkin pie with warm peyote sauce. All the Maverik's were there: Ma & Pa -- patted down for concealed weapons and kept at opposite ends of the table for liability purposes; my brothers Cav, Che, Spook, Crash and their common law wives and alleged kids, especially my nephew Mosh and my nieces Kit, Sis and Lil. Some of the freaks from Pa's travelin' sideshow. It was up to me to carve the...uh, whatever and say the blessing:"You all know that Thanksgiving is an important holiday to us. Our ancestor Cotton Maverik skied over behind the Mayflower. He soon distinguished himself in the Plymouth colony as a builder of stock, a public drunkard and by accusing his neighbors of witchcraft. He started a great American tradition by suggesting to the other white guys that they kill the Indians and take their land. We have a lot to be proud of. And a lot to be thankful for. Our families, our freedom, our lax criminal justice system. I personally am thankful for President Bush, our armed forces and the fact that a wife cannot testify against her husband. Among our blessings, we count prosperity, health, love and the fact that this is a country where a man can still make his living by knife fighting. Now, I think we should take a moment to remember those less fortunate than us...like the guy we have locked up in the garage. Okay, who wants dark meat?" See you at Weight Watchers...
huh? by carouselambra	Nov 26th, 2001 03:32:23 AM
Clooney's been racking up great films recently: "Three Kings," "Out Of Sight," "O Brother Where Art Thou?," the upcoming "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind." Even "Oceans Eleven" looks pretty entertaining. Clooney is cool. Anyway, a "Zits" movie might be kinda neat too, it's a very charming comic strip. Hmm, I wonder how Britney will fit into "Austin Powers." (shrug) Maybe Scott Evil will shag her! :)
Holes is being made into a movie? Sweet! by vroom socko	Nov 26th, 2001 05:00:39 AM
Holes is one of the most intelligent young adult novels I've seen. It should make a great movie. And as a preemptive strike against those who would attack my reading ability, Mama Socko works as a librarian at a middle school, and periodically loans me books from work. This is how I was introduced to not only Holes, but Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, and The Golden Compass. I encourage everyone to give Holes a look, it's damn near perfect.
Yes a ripoff of "10" with no-talent Black Knegro Martin Lawrence by Bari Umenema	Nov 26th, 2001 05:59:06 AM
Dear Mr. Bin Laden: Could you please just nuke Hollywood now? Sure I'll die along with the rest of the worthless scum out here but it'll be worth it! Thanks Osama!
what was left out of the recap by durhay	Nov 26th, 2001 10:53:13 AM
Martin Lawrence in talks to star in I WANT MY EIGHT DOLLARS BACK. Yes, it is too easy. Also, Jimminy Queequeg is directing THE FIBONACCI MURDERS, about 100 unknowns trapped at the Silverdome getting killed off 1 by 1 by 2 by 3 by 5 by 8 ...
Huh? Did you say something? by Huneybee	Nov 26th, 2001 11:28:07 AM
Sorry, I just spent the last 10 days or so tuning out the majority of my husband's Bible-thumping relatives during our stay in Texas so am not quite up to my usual levels of concentration. Of course, being a TB'er here on good ole AICN could be considered training for visits to the in-laws as I recall all the "fan mail" I have ignored in the past. There's not much to say about Texas except that they tend to place their state prisons next to Rest Areas to either keep the escapees from having to chance hitchhiking or to save money on the "State Prison: Do Not Pick Up Hitchhikers" signs we saw in Arizona and that the state song seems to be "She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy". Oh yeah, and a restaurant called "Papadeoux's" has all-you-can-eat lobster for 29.95! Between that and Thanksgiving, it was a tight squeeze in the Explorer for the last half of the trip. We drugged the kids and completed the remainder in only 18 hours!____One last thing...Why is it that the most zealously religious families always have at least one member of the family in prison? I think I recall someone mentioning my sister-in-law will be paroled soon after they hit me in the nose with a well-used King James version to get my attention. The ER doctor told me I shouldn't need a plastic surgeon unless I have trouble breathing once the swelling diminishes.____Martin Lawrence in a movie named The Bomb...hmmmm That IS wayyyyy too easy, isn't it?____A Bee That Arrived Alive On Firestone Tires
"ID" sounds really cool, but "Zits" ?!!?!?! Why !?!?! by SilenceofFreedom	Nov 26th, 2001 12:04:43 PM
I mean, the comic's, NOT THAT FUNNY !!! Good lord. And Sean William Scott as an urban kid who mentors a martial arts expert ?!?! Hey ! Let's just restart the Karate Kid, shall we ?! What a crock of shit.
Soderbergh's Solaris by djemmy	Nov 27th, 2001 02:25:38 AM
Ok, I'll go see it but only if it's at least twice as long as the Tarkovsky version... there's two hous and forty-five minutes I'm not getting back. And Elston, my Polish grandmother would spit in your eye for calling Lem a Russian - watch it, huh?
by stuntrocker	Nov 27th, 2001 06:02:18 PM

remember when you're on x by stuntrocker	Nov 27th, 2001 06:04:35 PM
don't you just feel like giving everyone your money? Don't do it. Some people suck and shouldn't be in pictures. Don't give them money to act or direct or whatever in your movies.

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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

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