Glen here...

...with the first in a series of mini-reviews from some of this Fall's upcoming pilots. Over the last few weeks, I've run many reviews from many different contributors - now it's my turn!

PLEASE NOTE: I will be continually adding pilot reviews & series start dates to COAXIAL over the next couple of days, so be sure to check back for further impressions of this Fall Season (assuming, of course, you care at all about what I have to say about this shockingly mundane Fall season...)

I'm guessing it's human nature to wonder about Hell.

Even the most atheistic of folk might be intrigued by what Hell represents, and how Hell has been portrayed throughout history (in various pieces of literature, art, film, music, etc).

In 1999, Hell has a new look. It's called Time of Your Life, the Party of Five spin-off which finds POF's Sarah (cow-eyed Jennifer Love Hewitt) going to New York City in search of her long lost father - in the hopes that learning about him will flesh-out her identity and self-awareness.

Maybe finding him will also flesh-out her acting skills - as Hewitt wanders through the scenery looking utterly confused, completely dingy, thoroughly lost, and...dare I say it...square. Where we should feel empathy for her character and situation, Hewitt's Sarah is so roundly annoying and intellectually frustrating that it's impossible to wrap one's brain around her predicament, or even feel this character deserves to catch a break and find daddy.

How dumb can dumb be?

Well, after a protracted series of misadventures and screw-ups (including a pick pocketing which leaves her broke in a city full of strangers, and an attempted mugging which results in a genuinely hardy laugh), Sarah comes to believe she has - at long last - located her papa. She tracks down the candidate; he's some big-shot something-or-the-other who admits to having known and loved her mother - but he never slept with her so he can't be her father.

Sarah is crushed, blabbers about how embarrassed she is - then storms out of the room. This insanely rich, very nice man is quite taken by the quest she is on, and begs her to stay. He wants to get to know her better because he loved her mother so much (we sense Sarah is the daughter he wishes he'd had). So, does she befriend this genuinely concerned Daddy Warbucks, who has 1) power & money; 2) a point of association with the Sarah (via her mom); and 3) is someone who might offer protection from the cruel world ( not to mention having the resources which may help point her the right direction on her quest)?

No.

She sighs disgustedly, says "I have to go!", sweeps out of the room to leave him sitting there alone, baffled. Much like the audience, no doubt. Why the set-up if no apparent follow-through? Beats me, the whole show is odd that way. Maybe we'll see the man again in future episodes, but it didn't feel like this would be the case.

I'm not going to devote too much time to Time of Your Life in this review, for several reasons: I've already given it forty-five minutes of my time and don't feel inclined to give it too much more. More importantly, I am told even the Powers That Be...in an unusual demonstration of creative savvy...have noted how brain searingly lousy the pilot for this series is - and have decided to re-shoot some of the series' opening episode. As such, some of my rather harsh criticisms of the show could be negated by airtime.

News of this re-shoot is really quite promising, as there are only two directions Time of Your Life (as is) should have headed: massive re-shoots, or oblivion (I would have preferred the latter - but you can't win 'em all...). Perhaps, during these re-shoots, some of the supporting actors will stop projecting their voices as if they're on-stage instead of in front of a camera. And one can only hope that the plentiful & offensive ethnic and sexual stereotypes which populate Time of Your Life will toned down and approached more...honestly (there's a gay character who even a heterosexual male like myself would find offensive - that takes some effort).

Hmmmmm - "approached more honestly". Honestly = honesty. Honesty = truth. There doesn't seem to be a lot of "truth" to Time of Your Life, it doesn't feel like it's being sincere or "real". There's something fluffy and even cheesy about it, despite the fact that it is told with utter conviction and genuine earnestness. There might actually be something here if the show is effectively re-tooled: an innocent fish-out -of-water, searching for her identity by trying to find a long-lost part of her origin could be rather intriguing if done properly.

But it sure isn't much fun when handled like this. To paraphrase The Simpsons: "Time of Your Life? Why, that's the most blatant case of fraudulent advertising since the release of The Never Ending Story!"