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Cannes '09 Lineup Announced, And It's Loaded With Potential! Tarantino! Von Trier! Haneke! Noe! Ming-Liang!

Beaks here...

Looking over the lineup for the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, I have but one word: brutal.

Though the shindig promises to get off to a fairly sunny, if somewhat bittersweet, start with Pete Docter's UP, it looks like festival-goers are in for some serious cinematic punishment thereafter. There's a new horror film from Lars von Trier (ANTICHRIST), a vampire flick from Park Chan-wook (THIRST), a period drama about "ritual punishment" at a rural German school from Smilin' Michael Haneke (THE WHITE RIBBON), a "psychodrama" from IN MY SKIN's Marina de Van (NE TE RETOURNE PAS), and a movie about near-death experiences from Gaspar Noe (ENTER THE VOID).

Someone want to give me an over-under on walkouts for Noe's follow-up to IRREVERSIBLE? According to Noe, here's what his audience is in for:

The visions described in the script are inspired partly by the accounts of people who have had near-death experiences, who describe a tunnel of light, seeing their lives flashing past them and "astral" visions, and partly by similar hallucinatory experiences obtained by consuming DMT, the molecule which the brain sometimes secretes at the moment of death and which, in small doses, enables us to dream at night. The film should sometimes scare the audience, make it cry and, as much as possible, hypnotise it.

Yikes. And just in case you think this talk of "astral visions" means Noe's gone all soft on us, consider this disclaimer which was attached to a poster at the Berlin Film Festival: "Viewers are advised that this film contains scenes of heavy drug use, graphic sex and extreme violence." As someone who's probably going to list IRREVERSIBLE as one of the ten best films of the decade... I'm fucking terrified by this thing.

So where's the relief from this onslaught of (presumed) unpleasantness? There's Ang Lee's TAKING WOODSTOCK, Tsai Ming-liang's FACE (a "comedy" about a filmmaker exploring the Salome myth), and LES HERBES FOLLES, a new movie from eight-five-year-old master Alain Resnais. Here's the full list of entries. See anything that inflames your loins?

Opening

UP U.S., Pete Docter, Bob Peterson

Closing

COCO CHANEL & IGOR STRAVINSKY, France, Jan Kounen

In Competition

BRIGHT STAR, Australia-U.K.-France, Jane Campion
SPRING FEVER, China-France, Lou Ye
ANTICHRIST, Denmark-Sweden-France-Italy, Lars von Trier
ENTER THE VOID, France, Gaspar Noe
FACE, France-Taiwan-Netherlands-Belgium, Tsai Ming-liang
LES HERBES FOLLES, France-Italy, Alain Resnais
IN THE BEGINNING France, Xavier Giannoli
A PROPHET, France, Jacques Audiard
THE WHITE RIBBON, Germany-Austria-France, Michael Haneke
VENGEANCE, Hong Kong-France-U.S., Johnnie To
THE TIME THAT REMAINS, Israel-France-Belgium-Italy, Elia Suleiman
VINCERE, Italy-France, Marco Bellocchio
KINATAY, Philippines, Brillante Mendoza
THIRST, South Korea-U.S., Park Chan-wook
BROKEN EMBRACES, Spain, Pedro Almodovar
MAP OF THE SOUNDS OF TOKYO, Spain, Isabel Coixet
FISH TANK, U.K.-Netherlands, Andrea Arnold
LOOKING FOR ERIC, U.K.-France-Belgium-Italy, Ken Loach
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS, U.S., Quentin Tarantino
TAKING WOODSTOCK, U.S., Ang Lee

Out of Competition

THE IMAGINARIUM OF DOCTOR PARNASSUS, Canada-France, Terry Gilliam
THE ARMY OF CRIME, France, Robert Guediguian
AGORA, Spain, Alejandro Amenabar

Midnight Screenings

A TOWN CALLED PANIC, Belgium, Stephane Aubier, Vincent Patar
NE TE RETOURNE PAS, France-Belgium-Luxembourg-Italy, Marina de Van
DRAG ME TO HELL, U.S., Sam Raimi

Special Screenings

PETITION, China, Zhao Liang
L'EPINE DANS LE COEUR, France, Michel Gondry
MIN YE, France-Mali, Souleyumane Cisse
JAFFA, Israel-France-Germany, Keren Yedaya
MANILA, Philippines, Adolfo Alix Jr., Raya Martin
MY NEIGHBOR, MY KILLER, U.S., Anne Aghion

Un Certain Regard

SAMSON & DELILAH, Australia, Warwick Thornton
ADRIFT, Brazil, Heitor Dhalia
THE WIND JOURNEYS, Colombia, Ciro Guerra
DEMAIN DES L'AUBE, France, Denis Dercourt
IRENE, France, Alain Cavalier
AIR DOLL, Japan, Hirokazu Kore-eda
INDEPENDENCE, Philippines-France-Germany, Raya Martin
LE PERE DE MES ENFANTS, France-Germany, Mia Hansen-Love
DOGTOOTH, Greece, Yorgos Lanthimos
NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THE PERSIAN CATS, Iran, Bahman Ghobadi
EYES WIDE OPEN, Israel, Haim Tabakman
MOTHER, South Korea, Bong Joon-ho
THE SILENT ARMY, Netherlands, Jean van de Velde
TO DIE LIKE A MAN, Portugal, Joao Pedro Rodrigues
POLICE, ADJECTIVE, Romania, Corneliu Porumboiu
TALES FROM THE GOLDEN AGE, Romania, Hanno Hofer, Razvan Marculescu, Cristian Mungiu, Constantin Popescu, Ioana Uricaru
TALE IN THE DARKNESS Russia, Nikolay Khomeriki
TZAR, Russia-France, Pavel Lounguine
NYMPH Thailand, Pen-ek Ratanaruang
PRECIOUS, U.S., Lee Daniels

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Reader Talkback

Glad to see Jane Campion has a new film
by Samuel Fulmer
Apr 23rd, 2009
01:54:55 PM
I wonder how strict they are about cell phones, texting...
by SoylentMean
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:00:21 PM
"Irreversible as one of the top ten films of the decade"
by SoylentMean
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:02:46 PM
I'm calling it right now. . .
by jimmay
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:04:55 PM
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS
by kwisatzhaderach
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:04:58 PM
A new film by Noe!!
by Vladimir_Ilyich_Ulyanov
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:05:04 PM
New Pedro Almodovar?
by gnarwhal_evan
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:13:46 PM
Beaks
by seppukudkurosawa
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:41:57 PM
why are people who don't work for AICN
by Timahh
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:48:03 PM
Woodstock
by RipVanMarlowe
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:49:19 PM
ILL LITERATE KOKE HED...
by KosherWookie
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:52:52 PM
AAAAARRRGGGHHH!!!!
by KosherWookie
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:53:20 PM
Aaaaarrrggghhhh, Pt 2
by KosherWookie
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:54:04 PM
Now that's a lineup
by Andrei Tarkovksy
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:55:36 PM
The real question, Timahh
by seppukudkurosawa
Apr 23rd, 2009
02:55:48 PM
The only films here I'm looking forward to are
by Incandenza
Apr 23rd, 2009
03:20:26 PM
Godfather 2
by captain_kirk
Apr 23rd, 2009
03:26:54 PM
kosher wookie?
by captain_kirk
Apr 23rd, 2009
03:27:14 PM
And as far as the "jaw drop" factor goes
by Incandenza
Apr 23rd, 2009
03:30:54 PM
Last Resnais?
by tallsy
Apr 23rd, 2009
04:07:33 PM
Irreversable. God, I'd watch anything with Monica.
by Stuntcock Mike
Apr 23rd, 2009
04:14:32 PM
I predict Inglorious will make Ebert's jaw drop.
by Stuntcock Mike
Apr 23rd, 2009
04:15:41 PM
Incandenza
by Stuntcock Mike
Apr 23rd, 2009
04:19:27 PM
Thanks For The Link, sep!
by mrbeaks
Apr 23rd, 2009
04:37:38 PM
daring to guess...
by cifra
Apr 23rd, 2009
04:37:43 PM
It's got COKEY! JOKEY! AND ROKEY!!! YES!
by Sal_Bando
Apr 23rd, 2009
05:01:07 PM
Captain Kirk---
by KosherWookie
Apr 23rd, 2009
05:02:15 PM
Damn these hands!
by KosherWookie
Apr 23rd, 2009
05:07:55 PM
Irriversible= BRAINSTORM
by CENOBITE
Apr 23rd, 2009
05:20:36 PM
Great looking line up
by Walter_Burns
Apr 23rd, 2009
05:23:50 PM
Somehow..
by Harold-Sherbort
Apr 23rd, 2009
06:06:13 PM
Irreversible is shock value crap masquerading as art
by Liberty Valance
Apr 23rd, 2009
06:45:34 PM
Liberty Vance
by Harold-Sherbort
Apr 23rd, 2009
07:10:33 PM
Irreversible not a date movie
by ataraxia999
Apr 23rd, 2009
07:56:13 PM
Very Cool Lineup
by psychedelic
Apr 23rd, 2009
08:36:33 PM
liberty valance you are spot on
by slappy jones
Apr 23rd, 2009
09:15:36 PM
GASPAR NOE Scares the living fuck outta me too
by blakindigo
Apr 23rd, 2009
10:16:06 PM
although i have absolutely nothing
by Ogmios_the_Eloquent
Apr 23rd, 2009
11:00:40 PM
and yeah...
by Ogmios_the_Eloquent
Apr 23rd, 2009
11:01:41 PM
IRREVERSIBLE - I had to turn away at times.
by LoneGun
Apr 23rd, 2009
11:02:54 PM
Slappy Jones..
by Harold-Sherbort
Apr 23rd, 2009
11:46:48 PM
I will say this
by seppukudkurosawa
Apr 24th, 2009
01:19:22 AM
MOTHER!!!!!! VENGEANCE!!!!!!!
by Gluecifer
Apr 24th, 2009
01:32:05 AM
Tarantino
by MorganLeafy
Apr 24th, 2009
01:56:18 AM
Brilliante Mendoza AGAIN ?!?!?
by PTSDPete
Apr 24th, 2009
02:21:33 AM
Tsai Ming-liang lightening things up?
by MenLeavingFactory1903
Apr 24th, 2009
04:03:13 AM
and Lou Ye is a great romantic filmmaker.
by MenLeavingFactory1903
Apr 24th, 2009
04:05:15 AM
Irreversible is indeed one of the best films of the decade.
by Knuckleduster
Apr 24th, 2009
06:41:06 AM
I was really hoping
by Monkey Butler
Apr 24th, 2009
09:00:51 PM

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