Alrighty folks... Ciclisuite has busted his ass this evening to give us a great peek at what's a coming this Summer, and personally I really love the looks he's giving us. Ciclisuite wanted to make sure to tell you folks in Los Angeles to keep your eyes open for the screening of AMERICAN PIE on June 30th and a few more WILD WILD WEST screenings this weekend in Westwood.

Though he did say, "I thought it was a pretty poor movie despite good special effects and costumes. There weren't any memorable lines. At least they gave us free popcorn, soda and candy at the screening (they probably KNEW it was gonna suck :)" about WILD WILD WEST.

But now... it's time to get out all your SOUTH PARK merchandise and get excited cause Ciclisuite says that you South Park fans are in for a treat. Cool.

"South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut"
-cichlisuite-

I got passes for a screening Monday night in Los Angeles and they weren't giving away the title of the movie. The showed us a list of films and asked us if we were interested in seeing any of them. On the list was South Park, Mystery Men, Wild Wild West and Inspector Gadget. Since I've seen everything besides Mystery Men and of course, South Park, I was a bit intrigued. Oh, yeah, Tom Cruise's name was also on the list. We figured we were either seeing South Park or Eyes Wide Shut. Well, about 5 minutes before the screening started, Frank Dolgen (one of the heads of Paramount sat down). I knew then it had to be South Park. The lights dimmed and everyone was antsy. A lady came on stage and said, 'You are the first ever audience to see South Park'. The whole place erupted in screams and shouts of happiness. Most people there probably already figured it had to be South Park.

Now, was this movie good? I'm assuming the only reason you are still reading this is because you are a South Park fan and are PRAYING that it's a decent film. Well, relax, cause it ROCKED!!!!! SPOLIERS WILL FOLLOW: The story goes as follows. It's the opening day of the 'Terence and Philip' movie the gang all goes. They leave the theatre and have become the most foul mouthed individuals alive. Kyle's mom (yes, they do the 'Kyles Mom Is A Big Fat Bitch' song in a hilarious scene) hears the language and organizes a group called 'Mothers Against Canada' and procedes to go to the United Nations, where they declare war on Canada and Terrence and Philip are set to be executed. Meanwhile, Kenny is blown up in a freak accident and goes to hell, where Sadaam Hussein and Satan are carrying on a torrid love affair (Satan just wants to be loved and all Saddam wants is sex). There is a particualry funny scene where Sadaam whips out his dick and tries to fuck satan in the ass. Satan hears about the execution plans of T&P and it just happens that their execution is the sign of the apocalypse (yes, the plot gets weirder and weirder). Satan and Hussein plan to go up to earth and rule the world together.

Meanwhile, Kyle, Cartman, Stan start a group called 'La Resistance' whose plans are to meet a contact in Canada and save Terrence and Philip. There is a big military party the day of the execution where Big Gay Al makes an appearance and the celebrity guest is Wynona Ryder (who proceeds to entertain the audience by shooting ping-pong balls out of her twat....I'm not making this up). the movie ends with Terrence and Philp being let free (they are later killed by Kyle's mom, who guns them down in anger). Satan is so pleased that Kenny alerted him to the procedings that he grants Kenny one wish. Kenny's wish is to make everything how it was before, but he has stay in hell (Yes...you finally see Kenny's face in the last scene).

There was enough language, nudity, toilet humor and offensive jokes to piss off every person on this planet. As it turns out several people walked out (there were several jokes aimed at Jews, gays and blacks that have to be seen to be believed). Nevertheless it was all very crude and very funny. I can now see why they had to cut alot of stuff from this movie. As it is now, it sould BARELY make it's R rating. The film was pretty short. Only about 1 hour and 20 minutes and there was even a very funny joke attacking Jar Jar Binks (It got one of the biggest laughs of the whole movie).

So, to end this review, I will say that South Park fans will NOT be disappointed. This ranks along with Austin Powers and American Pie as the funniest movies of the year. I only wish it was a little longer since I laughed out loud the entire movie. Well, the rest of you peons will have to wait 2 weeks (unless you already have passes for the other South Park screening at Paramount on Tuesday night....and if you do....HA!!!! I SAW IT FIRST!!!!).

-Cichlisuite-