Hey folks, Harry here… Sorry for the lateness of the column – but I was two reviews from finishing this last Saturday – when my computer ate it. I’m sure you know the pain. The agony. The mental horror at seeing a few thousand words destroyed in a blink that you replay a thousand times in your mind trying to figure out… what did I do? Why didn’t it get saved in the miracle Mac back up system? Why me, God? Why me? Until tonight – after a day of waving Obama signs, caucusing and coming home – a bit disappointed at the results, proud of my day out in the process, proud of my county and super proud of the turn out at my precinct, which was phenomenal. I came home re-energized… fired up and ready to write this column. SO – here’s the standard intro… As usual – you may click on the box art and titles – which will take you to AMAZON – where you can learn more on the titles and/or purchase the items – which would result in a small kick-back to this column, which will help keep it going. Again… sorry for the dog ate my homework excuse… but actually it was this vegetable of a computer… or it was just the fucking Microsoft Word crashing on me. Sigh. Breathe… be calm… here’s the column…

Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

101 DALMATIANS ( 2-disc Platinum Edition )

Watched this screener a few nights back with Yoko and was delighted how wonderfully it holds up. The oddest part – was when our nazi dog, Rommell, changed position – at the first bark in the film – from facing away from the screen – to watching the film for the rest of the movie. Now… I’m not saying he understood the movie… nor am I stating that he realized the animated spotted creatures were dogs. In fact – the whole thing could have been merely him switching lazy positions… in time with the film. That said, he seemed to fully enjoy the movie in a way – far more intense than his fascination and fear of ANIMAL PLANET. As for human enjoyment… it holds up. This was the first time I’ve watched 101 DALMATIANS where I grok’d that the voice of Pongo was the Time Traveler himself… Rod Taylor. And Cruella in a film where one of the leads is literally a bitch – is such a bigger bitch. What an awesome bitch Cruella is! The bitchiest of all Disney villains. This is the film that put an end to the inkers’ position at Disney animation – this is the film where the Xerox process of taking the pencil animators’ work and reproducing it directly upon the cel – began. Personally – I prefer the classic inked cel animation – as it was simply graphically more pleasing to my eyes. My only wish is that Disney would just go ahead and kick this up to High Def and their Blu Ray line. Instead we have to wait till the other side of the summer, when this Autumn we get SLEEPING BEAUTY in Blu Ray – which will be a monumental High Def disc! Can not wait!

INTO THE WILD

Who knows how much longer new titles will be put out in HD DVD – probably not longer than a few more months – but for those of us with the format – ya know – I’m still picking these up on the titles I want – why the hell not. Besides – who knows when Paramount and Universal will get their Blu Ray operations up and running? This week – the big HD DVD is INTO THE WILD – one of the best films of 2007. And in my opinion my favorite film from Sean Penn as director. I was completely unprepared for the story – and Emile Hirsch was just completely fantastic in this film. I know Hal Holbrook got the nomination – but Emile was amazing here. As was Marcia Gay Harden. The journey, the philosophy and the noble attempt at finding one’s self without the trappings and harnesses of modern living. The fast food, the tele-communications and the trappings of this electronic universe. There was a time, while on my path to Eagle Scout where I had to survive for just 5 days with no food, no water… just 3 matches and a swiss army – dropped in the woods and told to survive. To kill to eat, to forage to survive… to build shelter and I remember when I killed that fucking rabbit, I experienced a joy unlike anything Elmer Fudd ever accomplished. I was indeed a mighty warrior. Best scene in INTO THE WILD? The fucking moose. Jesus – that was horrifying.

TCM ARCHIVES – FORBIDDEN HOLLYWOOD COLLECTION, Vol 2 ( THE DIVORCEE / A FREE SOUL / NIGHT NURSE / THREE ON A MATCH / FEMALE )

If you picked up the original set that TCM put out – you don’t need me to point you in the direction of this collection. These films were part of the world that Hollywood created from 1930 to 1933 – which drove puritanical communities over the edge and helped to create the Hayes Code – which put the guillotine to anything “verboten” by the hypocritical prigs in this country that felt showing reality was too much for the adult eyes – and created a repressive culture that we’re still dealing with. These are films that dealt with women having their own sexual desires and libidos… films that threatened gender identities – and films that dealt with drug addictions and the underworld that often led people down dark tracks of life. Nevermind that these films are all, in their own way cautionary tales of woe – and with a sense of humor. You’ll find oscar winning performances by Norma Shearer and Lionel Barrymore… as well as Best Picture, Director and Writing nominees. This is another jewel of a set from TCM – my only complaint is that we don’t get more of these!

ICE AGE ( Blu Ray )

I think it is very funny that this is coming out the same week as 10,000 B.C. Don’t you? I just wonder which film is more cartoonish? Well, I see 10,000BC tomorrow – so we’ll see, right? Personally – I wish this film focused entirely on the acorn fetishist. That character rules – and I hate it when these films rely on the voice performances instead of the physical world of animation. The film never gets better when that acorn fucker is on screen. That said – this looks fantastic at 1080p big. So nice..

12 ANGRY MEN (50th Anniversary)

Hands down the best film ever made about the Jury process. And one of the very best directorial debuts in film history. Sidney Lumet just pointed over the outfield fence and knocked this sucker way over that big green wall. As perfectly directed as this film is… the film is the cast – one of the most perfectly cast films in the history of film. Standing out is, of course, Henry Fonda and the god, Lee J Cobb… but also great are Martin Balsam and Ed Begley Sr. fuck – all 12 men rule. In a nutshell – a jury retires for deliberations – they start off with a count on where they are. 11 say guilty – Henry Fonda says Not Guilty. And the movie is that battle of one man battling for reasonable doubt…. While not my personal favorite film about the American Justice system… it’s my favorite about the process of serving on a Jury… be it in court – or even a fucking film festival – where I’ve twice been Henry Fonda arguing the impossible position. But lost causes are the only ones worth fighting for… isn’t that what Mr Smith taught us all?

MRS. DOUBTFIRE ( Behind-the-Seams Edition )

I hate this useless tripe… that said… “Behind The Seams Edition” – does that mean we see the furry sausage of Mrs Doubtfire’s loins?

PISTOL WHIPPED

I haven’t seen this one yet, but after Vern’s Review, how could I not want to see this. I like Seagal – I think he’s bugnuts, but that’s half the charm.

Dr. Seuss’ HORTON HEARS A WHO (Deluxe Edition)

The new version of this is coming out very soon – and ya know – as amazing visually as it’ll look – pick this up instead. This one, Dr Seuss worked on with Chuck Jones… and the voice talent were actually that… Voice actors that became characters, instead of forcing characters to become them. June Foray and Hans Conried rule in this. Let’s face it, it’s just about perfect.

AUTOMATON TRANSFUSION

This looks fun… but then – they put that word… EXTREME on the cover – which makes me think of constipation. So it could be shit. But it looks like gory shit. I hate it when that happens.

MY KID COULD PAINT THAT

One of my top 5 documentaries from last year… Which, of course, means you didn’t see it get nominated for an Academy Award. This is a fascinating film documenting what exactly? A child prodigy? Parental fraud? A freak occurrence? Who knows? But it is one of the most provoking films I saw last year – asking you to question and wonder about the situation. Truly fantastic film.

Cult Fiction: THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH

I haven’t seen any of the discs on this new series from Anchor Bay – I really want to… but here’s the thing – on this title at least, I can’t imagine it is better than my Criterion Version - in terms of extras and quality – but ya know…. This edition is the first really decent priced version of the title – and Anchor Bay does release a really fantastic product… multiple times perhaps, but ya know what… To pick up this Roeg / Bowie piece of insane bliss… for just $13.50… why the hell not?

Cult Fiction: THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY

Once again – the best version of this title came out via Criterion, but at half that price – if you don’t own this film – you should jump at this. THE LONG GOOD FRIDAY is one of the greatest gangster films ever made – and is the best British Gangster film, in my opinion. Also – it’s a brilliant double feature with WHO FRAMED ROGER RABBIT? In terms of brilliant Bob Hoskins performances. Talk about two manic sides of a fucked up coin!

Billy Wilder Gift Set ( THE APARTMENT / THE FORTUNE COOKIE / SOME LIKE IT HOT / KISS ME STUPID )

THE APARTMENT, as I’ve said many times, is hands down one of the best American films ever made. It deals with our flippant nature of sex and the treatment of affairs… it deals with what we’ll do to succeed in the world. It’s about unrequited love, depression, irony and just the fucked up way life hits us. This, along with DR. ZHIVAGO, is amongst my favorite films about love… especially prior to meeting Yoko – when I felt love would always be one of those things you had for moments, maybe months, but would always eventually slip through your fingers. If you’ve never seen THE APARTMENT – this set is worth it for that film alone. But then you get SOME LIKE IT HOT – which is another genius film – less for real – and more goofy – but here’s the thing. Watch SOME LIKE IT HOT – and then think about the modern state of romantic comedy – or any gender bending humor. Nowadays we get shit from the Wayans… or shit like Mrs Doubtfire. But there was a day – when the films were directed by a genius like Wilder and starring actors at Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis’ level… oh – and the babe? None other than fucking Marilyn Monroe. Sigh. Giants once walked this Earth – the industry now shoots from the craters of their footprints. Now this is where I admit… I’ve never seen FORTUNE COOKIE or KISS ME, STUPID. Now you know why I’m picking this up!

Cult Fiction: THE QUIET EARTH

Now here’s one you probably don’t have – and that Criterion hasn’t beat Anchor Bay to. THE QUIET EARTH is simply one of those off the beaten path brilliant small thinking works of science fiction that you’ve most likely never seen. If you were in love with I AM LEGEND, you probably should have your head examined – or at least check out THE OMEGA MAN or THE LAST MAN ON EARTH… but if you want another take on that story of essentially being the last man on earth – you should check out this little seen number which should blow your skirt up ‘round them ears of yours. This movie will haunt you. It gets in your head. I likes it a lot.

Cult Fiction: KIDNAPPED

I remember sitting at the Alamo Village about 7 months before this restored cut of Mario Bava’s most intense and underseen film was shown to about 5 of us. This is one of those kick in the balls movies. A film that just exceeds expectations and leaves you bent over gasping for air wondering what the fuck hit you. It’s great. And if you love this film – seek out the other work from Bava – he’s genius!

Cult Fiction: THE WICKER MAN

Not the piece of shit remake. Before talking about this film – I have to say – one of my favorite aspects of this series of Anchor Bay’s are the covers. Look at that image of Bob Hoskins… or the one from THE MAN WHO FELL TO EARTH… the cover designers are doing a great job – and none more so than this cover – which forgoes the WICKER MAN image – and instead goes for the fucking creepy animal masks that appear in this film. If you saw that Nick Cage bullshit version… I’m sorry, but there is a version of this film that is genius. And I know, if you saw that film… it feels impossible that that story could be brilliant, but I swear to you. This is exactly that. It’s amazing how great a film can be when it’s original and doesn’t have Cage bug eyeing out – and instead has a melodious Christopher Lee and scary fucking Animal masks.

TEENAGE CRUISERS

I don’t know about you, but I have a soft spot for 70’s porn. I like the pretense of filmmaking and I prefer the seedy quality of the performers of the era. That said, I haven’t seen this one – but I’ve heard of it. Directed by Johnny Legend himself, and starring Johnny Legend as a Wolfman Jackoffish character. The film has footage that Legend bought from other films edited in, but has a young Serena in this – and young Serena is so very yummy. From what I’ve heard is that it’s a porn to laugh at, rather than jack at. And that’s one of the things I enjoy about this period of sleaze.

Cult Fiction: C.H.U.D.

I don’t know if Devin, Jeremy or Nick over at that site, that somehow seems to come to mind on this title, know about this dvd… but god damn it… I’m a C.H.U.D. lover from way back. And when I saw this cover stating, “Starring: Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers” I just started geeking out in a major way. And I love how at the product description at Amazon they say, “filmed on (and below) the streets of New York City where hundreds of tourists every year are still devoured by actual C.H.U.D.!” Dude – that fucking rocks balls! See – here’s a movie that I’d love to remake. Don’t get me wrong – this is fucking great. However – this is one of those films where I’d love to ramp up a few levels. The idea of CHUD is just so fucking brilliant. Scary shit in the sewers that’s gonna eat you. Ah, fuck it… let it stay the trashy awesome classic that it is. If somebody remade it, they’d fuck it up with CG CHUD and that’s just wrong… then you’d get a film that was as funky as I AM LEGEND. Look at that cover… you can’t beat that with a stick… that’s the shit… and it’s coming out of the sewers to fucking eat you up man! Awesome! The happiest DVD cover of the year so far!

Cult Fiction: FITZCARRALDO

Isn’t this CULT FICTION series the shit? I mean – to get to talk about CHUD and follow that up with Werner Herzog’s fucking masterpiece FITZCARRALDO? God I love this column and DVDs in general. It’s like the most fucking demented version of a Mickey Rooney / Judy Garland… “Let’s Throw A Show” ever. Only – substitute crazy fucker Klaus Kinski as a Rubber Baron in the fucking jungle obsessed with Opera… and Claudia Cardinale as a boobilicious Judy Garland – who kinda buys into the insanity. The film is one of the most stunning works of Herzog’s career… and he won Best Director at CANNES with it.

Cult Fiction: CLASS OF 1984

Perhaps the most prophetic film about America’s education system… only challenged by ROCK N ROLL HIGH SCHOOL and FAST TIMES AT RIDGEMONT HIGH. You’ll love this one. It’s cultastic!

Cult Fiction: RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES

You want to know who George Clooney is? It’s not Michael Clayton.. it’s not Danny Ocean…. He’s not Batman… and he isn’t the right hand of Edward R Murrow… No… George Clooney is this guy he plays in RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES. He’s a goofy, girl-crazy insane prankish awesome carton of a man… that sometimes tries really hard to be a grown up in a world that’s just a little to childish… even for him. About 2 months ago, I was babysitting my nephew – and he came out of my DVD library clutching RETURN OF THE KILLER TOMATOES – and pleading with me to put it on. He’d never seen it – but he read the cover to me – and impressed I put it on. You know… it is truly an awful film – but it’s so much fun to watch the FACTS OF LIFE era George Clooney in his greatest cinematic achievement…. Heh… George – this is what you get for sending me the most fabulous object in the world… that I couldn’t use!

Cult Fiction: NIGHT OF THE LIVING DORKS

One of the great discoveries of that first year of FANTASTIC FEST – From the title – I wanted to avoid it – but I found myself in a theater watching it one night and goddamn if it didn’t make me laugh my ass off… and that’s a lot of ass. Now if only I could find a film to laugh my belly off. That’d be a movie. They’re remaking this stateside now. That doesn’t inspire hope, but you should check this out – so you could at least be righteously indignant about the idea of a remake – and be able to cite actual reasons why it’ll never be as awesome as the original. Come on Talkbackers – get informed.

Cult Fiction: ROAD GAMES

I didn’t discover this film until very recently – and suddenly I get why I think Richard Franklin is much better than his modern works. First off – his PSYCHO II is misunderstood genius. And this film with Stacy Keach and Jamie Lee Curtis… well… it kicks a whole lotta ass. If you love movies like DUEL and BREAKDOWN and DEATH PROOF and HITCHER – well here’s one that can be put on the shelf with those others….

KILL THEM ALL & COME BACK ALONE

Ok – I’m all about the title here. That title fucking owns. The poster art owns and Enzo Castellari kicks ass. And man, Chuck Connors is the shit. So I’m gonna drop the cash on this one, cuz… well I just want a movie called KILL THEM ALL AND COME BACK ALONE! Usually these spaghetti westerns with fantastic titles that you’ve never heard of, but that sound like they kick ass… well, they end up profoundly disappointing… but what the fuck… I’ll give it a shot. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Well that’s it for this week. Hopefully with this next column I won’t be screwed into writing it twice. But here’s what we have to look forward to next Tuesday… NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN, AUGUST RUSH, BEE MOVIE, DAN IN REAL LIFE, INDEPENDENCE DAY (BLU RAY), GATTACA (BLU RAY), I, ROBOT (BLU RAY), DANGEROUS CROSSING, DAISY KENYON, APPLESEED EX MACHINA, BLACK WIDOW, MOD SQUAD Season 1 – Part 2, DOGMA (BLU RAY), SOUTH PARK – IMAGINATIONLAND, SLEUTH (2007), FLETCH (HD DVD), GEORGES MELIES: FIRST WIZARD OF CINEMA (1896-1913), BOBBY DEERFIELD, AND JUSTICE FOR ALL, SACRILEGE and more!!! Till then – hope you enjoyed the column!