Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

This has got to be one of the most out-of-left-field set visits I’ve ever been invited to, and I actually wish it had timed out right for me to go. An ‘80s-style kickboxing film with Djimon Honsou? Can the finished film be as awesome as that premise sounds? Let’s see what today’s spy has to say.

Also, this may not be exactly right, but it feels like this thing was shooting about five weeks ago. Is it really already totally finished? Wow.

Hi Harry,

Your website is my blood source. I had the unexpected pleasure of checking out a screening of Never Back Down recently and thought I’d share my thoughts. Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who grew up in the 80’s Van Damme genre, which Never Back Down arguably pays tribute to in its own way.

Jake Tyler (Sean Faris, whom in this movie eerily resembles an early Tom Cruise during his Maverick days, before he became a bonafide kookyhead) is a brilliant high school football star. But he has an anger problem, especially when the subject of his deceased father arises. And further trouble erupts when he’s forced to move from his comfortable common middle-class hillbilly nation lifestyle and into the upper-scale suburban world of the internet-dependent, preppie porche glamour American Pie generation where maintaining your reputation in school is at the mercy of resembling the external looks of a supermodel or posting videos of yourself kicking other people’s asses on youtube.
Jake is unfortunately lured into a fight at a Playboy mansion-like high school party (teenagers resembling 30 year olds) and gets Deebo’d by some super jock jerkoff named Ryan (Cam Gigandet) in front of half the school and in the presence of Jake’s love interest Baja (Amber Heard), whom also is Ryan’s girlfriend to add to the “emotional strain of poor Jake” element of the movie. So Jake enrolls into a Mixed Martial Arts (MMA) program instructed by Jean Roqua played by none other than the great Djimon Hounsou, who will teach him more than just skills in pouncing on over-privileged Laguna Beach super jock asshats. He will teach him the true meaning of life, help discover his inner potential and to follow his willful heart.

I won’t dive into the acting too much because it’s mildly mediocre for the most part with the exception of the great Djimon Hounsou who was not nearly present enough.

Sean Faris pulls his weight fine as the tough yet likeable protagonist but is no Maximus by any means. Amber Heard expresses a total of two emotions throughout the entire film but serves quite well as the eye candy. Not surprisingly the teen romance aspect between Jake and Baja fails for the most part. But fortunately that’s not the main focus of the movie. It’s about action packed grappling/kickboxing ass kicking, combined with the journey of a common struggling teen with a burdened past, striving to get a grasp on his inner demons and overcome his anger mismanagement.

The there’s Cam Gigandet. I’m unfamiliar with The O.C. and anything else he stared in, but here he brings a unique sort of wicked edge as the antagonist that genuinely makes you just hate the guy. Maybe it’s that unnerving grin he carries every five seconds throughout the film. Call me demented but I’ve always been quite fond of villains who smirk excessively, such as Chong Li in Bloodsport, Geena Davis’ nemesis in Long Kiss Goodnight and of course the Clown Prince of Gotham to name a few. There’s just something about the baddies getting a comical kick out of hurting others that amplifies their evilness and gives me great joy, as if they take pleasure in inflicting pain as much as I enjoy a common priceless Chuck Norris gag. Not to say Cam Gigandet is of high status as the above mentioned, but here he pulls it off quite well.

The message of the movie is solid. As I stated earlier it’s about ass kicking, but it’s more than that. It’s about a maturing teen struggling to deal with the harsh cards he was dealt as best as he knows how at his young age. A kid attempting to find himself and overcome his intense animosity towards life. And even more importantly the movie emphasizes the fact that walking away from a fight is not always possible, but fighting back is sometimes absolutely necessary to defend ourselves, our loved ones, or stopping those intent on harm so we ultimately never have to fight again. An important theme for all those “peace-pipe smoking, the world is a perfect place, silence before violence, lets all hold hands, form a circle, throw flowers in air, strum a guitar and sing kumbaya around the campfire” fruit loops out there in the media today.

After the movie when the comment segment kicked in, some thug was arguing in a philosophical tone that the score should have been less hip-hopy and more dramatically symphonic or some nonsense, as if Djimon Hounsou being in the movie automatically required something along the lines of Hans Zimmer Gladiator caliber. But I thought it couldn’t have been more fitting with a blend of artists such as Kanye West and yes, say what you want, the much underrated Toby Mac in my opinion.

Overall for what it’s worth, the majority of the audience seemed to love the movie (oddly consisting of mainly ghetto peeps and white trash whose opinions I actually value more than the cream-of-the-crop knucklehead critics who will hate this move simply due to the excess of clichés). I honestly had low expectations walking in and was pleasantly surprised. And I would sum up Never Back Down as a PG-13 teeny bopper Fight Club, minus the spilt personality disorder, death to consumerism message, superb acting, invaluable one liners and flawless David Fincher directing. In other words, Never Back Down is a dynamic $6.75 matinee flick, packed with mindless fun, numerous clichés, a bit of spurious teenage lovey-dovey nonsense and pure unadulterated ass pounding, in a non-prison-like fashion. It makes you want to lace up some gloves afterwards and smack down a member of the born into riches, I own a X-Box 360, Wii, and PS3, super athlete crew who floss around in their decked out lifted Dodge Ram 2500s, picking on those smaller in size to promote their own over-inflated egos. Peace out G’s.

If you use this review, call me Cpt. Wiggin. If not, I still love your website.