I am – Hercules!!


Remember Chicken the overly cautious chicken farmer? WWE superstar Ashley Massaro? How about Dave, the hunger-addled former model? How about the crazy Christian lady who thought the “Survivor” producers were trying to trick her into worshipping Not-Jesus? How about Jean-Robert, the pro-poker player who found himself out-strategized by a grave-digger, a film student, a flight attendant and a waitress?

It’s been a long season. I always associate the 3-hour autumn “Survivor” finales with hotel rooms in Austin, as they’ve always fallen in the past on Butt-Numb-A-Thon Sunday – but it didn’t work out that way this year.

I’m really annoyed by CBS’ insistence on blurring out Amanda’s lower hinder. Vanna White’s hot nanny, Jen Johnson, wore the same kind of thong-shorts all during Big Brother this summer, and I don’t recall CBS blurring her butt. (Though this may just be because I’m remembering only the Showtime and Internet footage.)

Longtime UCLA party-girl and music-video dancer Pieh-Gee Law, 29, who now runs her parents’ jewelry business, got the boot on Thursday when she narrowly lost the immunity challenge to Amanda. Here’s the quartet vying live tonight for the million:

a) TODD HERZOG, 22, openly Mormon homosexual flight attendant from Utah.

b) AMANDA KIMMEL, 23, Amazonian model and former Miss Montana USA who just moved to Los Angeles.

c) DENISE MARTIN, 40, bemulleted Kenpo black belt, Massachusetts lunch lady and mother of three.

d) COURTNEY YATES, 26, blonde New York waitress most likely to be cast as a concentration-camp internee.

The finalists have had a tight alliance, and were the only four contestants to remain with the Fei Long tribe from the game’s start to the final tribal merge.

Blue-collar, middle-aged Denise, the finalist no one but Denise wants in the final two, will almost certainly be the first voted out if tonight’s first immunity challenge doesn’t involve Kung Fu.

I’m guessing tonight’s big winner will be the gorgeous and amiable Amanda, the most physically imposing of the remaining quartet and the one who spent every weekend of her childhood camping in the Montana wilderness.

The 12th edition of “The Amazing Race” continues next Sunday.

8 p.m. Sunday. CBS.

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