YE OLDE X-M@$$ LIST!

”It's just like Santa's workshop! Except it smells like mushrooms... and everyone looks like they wanna hurt me...” Will Ferrell, (Possibly describing the Talkbacks) in ELF

It’s that time of year again. Yes, that special time of year where we have to clean out the clubhouse, delouse Schleppy, and try to make sense of the eggnog recipe that Buzz left behind (The only ingredient CAN’T just be Bushmills, can it?). Of course, it’s also time to give out our annual list for those of you who are shopping for a comic book fiend and have no idea what to get them. Links for online shopping are provided, but we recommend you actually drag your carcass out into the streets and support your local comic shop. On to our recommendations:

Ambush Bug suggests…

For X-M@$$ this year, I’m going to mix it up with recommendations of both perfect gifts that I already have that others should and ones I want myself. Starting out is a book I read through while stuck at an airport this past Thanksgiving. It’s called SOON I WILL BE INVINCIBLE published by Penguin Books UK. This isn’t a comic book, but a book about comic book characters. It’s not as self-referential or ground-breaking as KAVALIER & CLAY from a few years back, but writer Austin Grossman has constructed is a cleverly structured story about one would-be world conqueror and a cybernetic hero who is a new addition to a super team who are working from different angles to solve a mystery about the death of the most powerful super hero in the universe. No super-hero cliché is ignored, but it’s done in a way that honors those age-old traditions while all the while giving them a goose of creativity. Sure, reading a book about super-heroes may be a bit of a commitment for those of you used to your reading in 22-page installments, but I guarantee you will finish this book wishing this were made into a comic book pronto. Bryan (ULTIMATES) Hitch does the cover art and a few interior shots establishing the looks of the characters within. This is a wonderful piece of fiction that would make a great gift for those who feel too intellectual to read funny books, but still have a taste for super heroes and action.

Readers of this column know that I am currently in battle with myself to avoid becoming addicted to Bowen Designs Sculptures. The last year saw two reviews from me focusing on Bowen Designs’ amazing busts of Wonder Man and Captain Britain. Since then, Union Jack and Daredevil’s Gladiator have also taken up space on the top ledge of my writing desk. Hell, in my last Bowen review, I requested a bust of the original Bucket Head Helmeted Black Knight and sure ‘nuff, they made one. And you know what? I ordered that one too. Help, folks, I’m addicted! And now, I want you folks to
check
this
shit
out!

Yeah, that’s right, it’s a Six-Armed Spider-Man mini-bust!

How freakin’ cool is that?!?!?!

Must fight back urge to buy. Maybe Santa will be kind enough to drop one off. Either way, you won’t go wrong with any of the Bowen Designs. All of them are of first rate quality and they do a great job of making the popular characters along with some of the cooler obscure ones. Although my top shelf may be straining from all of the weight, I can wait to add another one of Bowen Designs’ new sculptures to the load.

I’m ashamed to say I haven’t read it, but dammit, I’m trying to rectify that. WILL EISNER’S COMIC AND SEQUENTIAL ART is said to be both THE book all in the medium of comics should read, but also the inspiration for Scott McCloud’s UNDERSTANDING COMICS. If you want to learn more about comics, it might as well be from a master. This book isn’t too costly and it looks to be full of insightful stuff for both the casual reader or those who want to make it big in the comic book industry.

A Stones Throw Christmas Carol

Ah, Christmas in Merry Olde England. Pantomimes which are even more annoying than the American meaning of the word, the Queen’s Speech, Boxing Day, the whole country grinding to a halt because of an inch of snow, Slade’s “Merry Xmas Everybody” on the radio every frickin’ other song…and, in the true spirit of the holiday season, the opportunity to leech some quality graphic literature off others! In an Alan Moore-like show of versatility I’ve decided to structure mine in the style of a little-known Christmas novel.

The ghost of Christmas past: I’ve read some Will Eisner, but not a whole lot, so this Christmas I’m looking forward to delving into some of his less famous work collected in LIFE, IN PICTURES: AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL STORIES and WILL EISNER’S NEW YORK. And if Father Christmas wants to throw in a few of those SPIRIT ARCHIVES too, I wouldn’t say no.

The ghosts of Christmas present: 1) I picked up Italian writer/artist Gipi’s original graphic novel GARAGE BAND recently and it really did stun me with how good it was. So this year I’m hoping his second work to be translated, NOTES FOR A WAR STORY finds its way under my tree. Props to First Second for putting this stuff out.

2) Read separately, the comic sections of THE BLACK DOSSIER are weaker than we’ve come to expect from Alan Moore and co. But when read as a whole with the lost Shakespeare play, excerpts from Mina Murray’s diary upon first meeting Captain Nemo, Fanny Hill’s travelogue, “What Ho, Gods of the Abyss” (Bertie Wooster’s account of his run-in with Cthulhu), the Windsor McCay-equalling 3D ending and even the stream of consciousness beat-prose by the main character from Jack Kerouac’s ON THE ROAD, Alan Moore and Kevin O’Neill’s third installment in their chronicle of fiction becomes something truly spectacular. What really is impressive is that all these seemingly disparate sections aren’t just an opportunity for Affable Al to showcase his unique command of voice, but that they actually make the read, pulling together to form something remarkably cohesive and adding an otherwise absent texture and depth. Yes, the planned vinyl record would have made this book’s transcendence of the comic book form clear, but what can you do?

Moore’s been working with similar themes for a while now, and the final section is reminiscent of the last issue of 1963, or the Supremeverse in SUPREME and the Immateria in PROMETHEA, but I think the LEAGUE series has the potential to be the final word in his exploration of imagination and fiction. As good as “the Roman Empire, penicillin and the human nervous system”? Probably not, but this grand folly – an even bigger departure from volume two than 2 was from 1 - is something that every comic fan will want under the tree this year.

The ghost of Christmas yet to come: This time last year I remember Joe Quesada saying something like “2007 is definitely gonna be Spider-Man’s year”. Well, thanks to the portly E-I-C’s ponderous pencilling, 2007 has been and gone with no sign of kick@$$ Spidey stories, so my Christmas wish this year is that BRAND NEW DAY gets out before next Christmas and manages to tell good Spidey stories in the way that the main books haven’t done recently. I can’t say the rumors sound great, but Dan Slott is one of my favourites. Impatient fans can tide themselves over with the entirety of Steve Ditko’s run, collected in AMAZING SPIDER-MAN OMNIBUS VOL. 1.

Humphrey Lee
Commands You!

THE ESCAPISTS HC was easily one of the best things about comics from last year, and now here it is in a nice little Hardcover package. I'm not terribly thrilled about its smaller size than the regular issues, but considering the overall package and the price, it's not the end of the world. But this series was simply amazing, and best of all, it's a great buy for any type of reader as it's relatively genreless. There's a little bit of action, some romance, some camaraderie, lots of nostalgia and so on and so forth; THE ESCAPISTS is just a giant love letter to the medium of a comics and is a must read/own for any fan of the medium as well. This is definitely something you should make sure a loved one has on their shelf for them if they don't already.

SENTENCES: THE LIFE OF M.F. GRIMM Even though this Auto-Biographical Graphic Novel is about a performer from a type of music I really don't care about in the slightest, I picked up SENTENCES because a lot of positive feedback was coming from both reader and creator alike. Obviously by my recommending this here and now, it was a shockingly excellent read. A very interesting look at the background of a man who could have easily had it all but fell prey to the dark side of "the life", this book was extremely engaging and enlightening. This was pure drama to its very core, and one of the few must read comics of the year. Quality is always a great gift, especially when you can always borrow said gift back from its recipient. =)

THE GOON: CHINATOWN & THE MYSTERY OF MR. WICKER This is a great gift for several reasons. Firstly, it's the motherfucking GOON! If your friend or loved one is already reading this, this is a no-brainer so order it, slap some wrapping paper on it, and then whack the recipient of it upside the head for being a tasteless bastard. Two, this is one of the prettiest looking bodies of work to come out this year (something I'll be addressing come @$$ie time) just like any Eric Powell work is whenever we get it. The prettiness of it alone makes it a great gift. And thirdly, it's just fucking good. Gritty, dramatic storytelling with occasional flares of the GOON style of humor the series is famous for, this is a great comic at a great price for a gift that will hopefully lead others out of their hedonistic ways and into the glowing warm glow that is THE GOON.

CAPTAIN AMERICA OMNIBUS Typically I like to suggest at least one of these over-sized Omnibuses or Absolutes a year as a gift for that "Extra Special Someone" like the person who actually agrees to fornicate with you without charging money for it, or that best friend who bailed you out of that Mexican prison that one time, or every now and again even one of the persons that was responsible for your entering this world. And since it's probably a sure thing that one of my fellow reviews is recommending the ABSOLUTE SANDMAN for the very same reason, here I am to give gift-giving props to a quite amazing and thorough collection. Covering every major issue of the fantastic run leading up to arguably the biggest event in comics this year, this is just a great all round gift for your diehard or occasional comic book fan alike. Like always with these things, it's a little pricey, but like I always say as well, thanks to the wonderful world of Amazon it's still at an affordable price range but also one that says you care that much more.

Rock-Me Amodeo’s
Jingle Bell Rock

What can I recommend that I haven’t already lauded in the reviews? Well, the criteria are:

Tells an interesting story.

Has pretty pictures.

Tells the story in an engaging way, and does not cheaply substitute sex for romance or gore for suspense.

So often I see writers take the easy way out, crudely appealing to the lowest common denominators of human existence. Those of you who read my reviews on a regular basis know I am no prude - I know those elements exist. And I don’t mind seeing them WHEN they serve the story, rather than seeing the story serve them, as is so often the case.

Based on that, I have four recommendations for compelling reads:

BIRDS OF PREY VOL 5 & 6 by Gail Simone and various artists.

VOLUME FIVE: “Perfect Pitch” collects issues 86-90 and 92-95, wisely dropping the “who-cares?” issue 91 that dealt with INFINITE CRISIS but nicely book ending the whole ONE YEAR LATER marketing ploy storyline. Of all the DC books that followed the in media res mandate, BIRDS OF PREY pulled it off in one the best ways. The Birds appeared One Year Later with Black Canary in the middle of the jungle, and Lady Shiva (deadliest woman on the planet) mysteriously filling in for her on the team.

VOLUME SIX: “Blood and Curcuits” collects issues 96-103 and deals with Canary choosing to leave the team and Oracle forced to redefine how the team works. In the process, we get to see some lesser known characters pass through the book, and as always, Gail writes most of them in such a way as to wonder why they couldn’t each carry a book of their own. The answer, of course, is that Gail can only scribe so much each month.

NOVA TPB VOL 1 released Dec 12, 2007, written by Dan Abnett & Andy Lanning with art by by Sean Chen. The two things to come out of the ANNIHILATION mini-series are that I can now spell “annihilation” without spell check and the re-emergence of NOVA on the superhero set. If you’re a fan of cosmic adventure without all the pretension, this is the series for you. I would say more, but we’ve reviewed so much, I think I can recommend it as a gift without much more explanation. Collects NOVA 1-7 from this year. What a deal!

SABAN AND THE ANCIENT: BOOK ONE Yeah, I know, it’s a book. And technically, it only has one pretty picture, created by the lovely and talented Laura Schulhauser, a photographer who should be big news in another few years.

This book appears here for two reasons. The first is that it was written BY a comic book fan FOR people who like comics (among other things.)

It starts with two teenagers who are on a nearly deserted college campus, about to leave on break, when commandos parachute practically on their heads. One student is strong and loud and beautiful. The other is white and nerdy and quiet. But all is not what it seems (obviously) and the plot and facts must be peeled away, one layer at a time. In the genre of spi-fi/kung-fu/sarcastic/thrillers, it’s tops! But seriously, if you’re a fan of espionage, or sci-fi, or Whedon, or “Heroes,” then you’ll probably like this book.

There are five books planned, and after some delays, the second part comes out in four or five months. It needs to come out then, because when my next baby is born in June, I won’t have any more time for a while to work on it.

Yeah, it’s my book, and that’s the second reason it’s on this list. But I love it, and I hope you do, too. As self aggrandizing as this may seem, I really wouldn’t recommend anything that didn’t satisfy the criteria I listed. Hey, if I’m brutally honest about what other people write (and you know I am), I’m even worse about my own stuff.

I would love to see it turned into a comic, or possibly ruined as a big-budget movie, but who knows what the future will bring? All I know is, I’m driven to keep writing, and as long as it continues not to suck, we’ll see what happens.

JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED SEASON TWO – released March, 2007 and JUSTICE LEAGUE UNLIMITED SEASON ONE – released October, 2006. I know that only Justice League Unlimited Season Two came out this year, but I can’t recommend it without also recommending (even more highly so) the so-called Season 1 that came out at the end of 2006. The Season 1 CD had 26 episodes, while the Season 2 DVD collected the last 13 episodes.

These DVDs really represent the iconic Justice League much more honorably than the current JUSTICE LEAGUE OF AMERICA or JLA: CLASSIFIED books. When I look at what those books have become…JLA was supposed to be the title that portrayed them as the global butt kickers the JLA used to be. Instead, it’s become a faux pas fest for brutality and cheesecake. JLA:C was going to be the vehicle where Morrison could keep his mind-blowing tales from interfering with the all-consuming DCU continuity monster, and instead has become a showcase for character studies and a paycheck for artists that can’t keep a steady gig. I’m under whelmed so far by the comics. But the cartoons…man alive, are they good. My oldest daughter was practically weaned on the JLU and the earlier Justice League cartons, and still carries a strong sense of right vs. wrong, the strong protect the weak, and so forth. These are good things for anyone to learn.

And look at the vocal talent. Besides the cast regulars, you’ve got: Morena Baccarin, Fred Savage, Jerry O'Connell, Amy Acker , Jeffrey Comb, Nathan Fillion, Gina Torres, Dennis Farina, Michael York, Michael Ironside, Michael Dorn, Alexis Denisof, Eric Roberts, Juliet Landau…even Rob Zombie. That’s just crazy talent, not to mention that they usually got folks like Clancy Brown or Dana Delaney from the Batman/Superman show. There’s just no way these DVDs are not good buys.

And if you’re not moved by the sight of a geriatric Amanda Waller relating a tale of Batman’s compassion to a grown up Batman Beyond, well, you just don’t know good storytelling.

Merry Christmas!

Prof. Challenger’s Best Christmas List Ever 2007

JOHNNY HART’S GROWING OLD WITH B.C. published by Checker Book Publishing Group . This book was an absolute delight to receive this year and would make a perfect gift for someone who appreciates the classic newspaper comic strips. B.C. creator Johnny Hart passed away on Easter 2007 right after putting the final touches on this retrospective of the 50-year life of his B.C. comic strip. There are meaningful tributes to Hart throughout the volume by many of his childhood friends who inspired specific characters in B.C. It brings a whole new dimension of familiarity to the characters when you see and read the words of the flesh-and-blood inspirations. For those who appreciate and fondly remember the whacked out pun-filled world of B.C. (or know someone who does) I can’t think of a better gift for the B.C. fan. I treasure this book and know you will too.

SILVER AGE SCI-FI COMPANION published by TwoMorrows . This is when the geek inside of me just explodes. I saw that Alan Davis cover with Adam Strange flanked by the greatest of DC’s sci-fi adventurers from the 60s and just went nuts. TwoMorrows feeds the nostalgic comic geek in all of us weened on the Silver Age of comics. This volume follows in the successful format of their previous oversized companion books covering topics like THE JUSTICE LEAGUE, TEEN TITANS, ALL-STAR (JSA), SUPERMAN (Krypton Companion), etc. (including even a recent companion devoted to the old Mego super-hero dolls). This book is at the top of my wishlist.

JUSTICE LEAGUE: THE NEW FRONTIER (DVD) This DVD will not be available until February 2008, but that doesn’t mean I can’t recommend someone pre-order it and put that order confirmation under the tree. The ABSOLUTE NEW FRONTER volume was and is the finest super-hero comic I’ve read in years and everything I’ve seen on this video adaptation looks to be about as good an animated adaptation as I could hope for. The clips at the website show that Darwyn Cooke’s character designs have been faithfully translated into animation and the voice cast seems especially fine (some voices –inspired). It will be interesting to see how they slice and dice Cooke’s masterpiece into a mere 90 minutes but I’ll be right there. If I can’t have it for Christmas I can at least push the pre-order option. Right?

Sleazy G Got Run Over By A Reindeer. Twice.

As Ambush Bug recently found out while reading Austin Grossman’s SOON I WILL BE INVINCIBLE, just because you’re reading one a’ them fancy novels don’t mean it can really be about comics. It’s a handy way to make chicks think you like “literature” and still read about superheroes on the el without people looking at you all funny like when you pull out a copy of PURGATORI on your way to the office in the morning. For me, the novel that let me get Pulitzer Prize Winner street cred while still being geeky was Michael Chabon’s THE ADVENTURES OF KAVALIER AND CLAY . It’s an absolutely amazing work about two cousins working together over the decades in comics, and it manages to be heartbreaking and funny and exciting. I championed the quarterlies from Dark Horse Comics based on The Escapist and some of the other characters created by Kavalier and Clay in the novel endlessly, because the stories in those quarterlies brought much of the same sensitivity and depth of range to the fore as the novel had. When the quarterlies failed, Brian K. Vaughan wrote an ESCAPISTS miniseries which is now collected in trade hardcover. It’s clearly Vaughan’s most autobiographical work. A tale of three friends living their dream of working in comics and finding it’s not what they had hoped, it’s a story full of adventure and emotion. Much like the novel, it’s more about the real people working on the comics than the characters, yet the fictional tales are used to provide additional insight and depth to the real events as they play out. This is an easy recommendation for fans of Chabon’s novel, but since it’s so self-contained it’s also good for those less familiar with comics. The characters feel very real in the best way, and in the end, it’s a story about friendships—one of which is just beginning to deepen into something more. I don’t yet have the collection, but as somebody who read the series in its original release I can recommend this wholeheartedly.

I’ve found myself recently falling back in love with drinking. Not just the shot-and-a-beer 8-hour marathons I’d gotten accustomed to over the last few years, mind you, but the kinda fancy-pants drinkin’ that’s more interested in flavors, textures, recipes, and high-end ingredients. Broadening my wine perspectives, finding the best damned cocktail lounge in Chicago (The Violet Hour), drinking more ryes…and, of course, making sure I go to the best tiki bar in the Midwest, Hala Kahiki, at least a few times a year. After all, who doesn’t love volcano bowls? And besides, they’ve got my spirit drink—the Suffering Bastard! So when I heard about Jeff Berry’s SIPPIN’ SAFARI, I knew it was gonna be something special. Beach Bum Berry’s the master of tiki drinks and culture, but if you’re gonna own one book by him, this is the one: he invested years of research tracking down the original recipe for the Zombie, long thought lost to time, and provides it here. He details the search, the characters he came across along the way, and finally the end result—and there are other long-lost recipes here as well. Available from Slave Labor Graphics, this is the kind of book that’s perfect for your foodie friends, party hosts, and that one guy who wears bowling shirts 437 days a year. Not convinced? See what the esteemed-by-east-coast-liberals New York Times has to say about it. See? Fancy-pants drinkin’. Makes you look all sophisticated to the ladies, butcha still end up crocked. It’s a win-win.

By now I’m sure you’re thinking “great, but those are presents for grownups—isn’t Christmas for kids?” to which I can only reply “…” while scrambling for the least offensive answer to that question. I can tell you what I’d get for kids if there were any around I was buying for, though: some MARVEL ADVENTURES DIGESTS. You can find ‘em at Borders while you’re there picking up the latest issue of MODERN BRIDE, or buy ‘em when you hit your LCS in search of old MILLIE THE MODEL back issues. They’re small enough to be stocking stuffers, they’re not too expensive, and you won’t have to worry about whether they’re age appropriate. You can get the MARVEL AGE FANTASTIC FOUR and SPIDER-MAN and AVENGERS for younger readers, and SPIDER-GIRL or RUNAWAYS for more advanced readers. When I was a kid, I loved digests and collections because I could get more out of the characters: a complete multi-issue story, or a better idea what the characters were about. Single issues were cool and all, but I usually put them down wanting to know what happened next—with no guarantee as to the availability of the following issue. Without digests and collections of everything from ARCHIE to DR. STRANGE, I might never have gotten hooked the way I did. If you want to give kids a cohesive storyline and get them interested in reading, these digests are really the best way to go.

Vroom SockoJust Wants Money. How About Tens And Twenties?

JACK KIRBY’S FOURTH WORLD OMNIBUS This series of omnibuses…omnibi? What is the plural there? Anyway, these stories, as set down by the master, are everything great about comics: high concept storytelling from a time when nobody in comics had heard of the term, outlandish characters, iconic heroes, and villains who are evil incarnate. That’s what these books are all about. What’s really great about these editions though is the paper. It’s newsprint. Just touching the pages…if you’re of the right age, it’ll make you want to grab a Slurpee and a bag of Funyuns to enjoy while reading. If you’re too young to remember a time when buying comics meant going to 7-11…then I can’t help you here.

THE ABSOLUTE SANDMAN VOL. 2: If this were just a hardcover reprint of issues 21 through 39 of THE SANDMAN, this book would still be worth getting. That it includes a completely reinked issue #34 by Colleen Doran, well, I’d pay cover price for that alone. (Rumor has it that if you bring Doran the thumbs of George Pratt, she’ll give you riches undreamed of…) That it ALSO includes a never before reprinted Desire story with art by John Bolton, a gorgeous beyond reckoning pinup gallery, and the script to issue #23 accompanied by the pencils of the inhuman talent that is Kelly Jones…well, nobody who calls themselves a Sandman fan should be without this book. I once merely showed my copy to someone (they didn’t even dare touch it) and within a month they’d bought their own copy. And that’s someone who works on a teacher’s salary. This is comic book perfection, and it’s what everyone wants this year, even if they don’t know it.

SPIDER-MAN LOVES MARY JANE: Because not every hardcover comic has to cost an arm and a leg. And because right now the whole of Sean McKeever’s run is now available in paperback digests. And because this is quite possibly the most mature book Marvel’s published in an age. Not mature as in graphic or explicit. Mature as in adult, as in “let’s treat these characters like real people.” As in take out the superhero element and you could still sell this puppy. This is one of the few books where treating superheroes like they’re in our real life works, mainly because the superheroes aren’t the main characters, the everyday people with everyday problems are. You can give these books to anyone of any age and they will all get something wonderful out of it.

From all of us @$$holes here at AICN COMICS, enjoy your holidaze. Now if you’ll excuse us, Schleppy has gotten into the eggnog. Literally.

Remember, if you have a comic book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.

Check out the @$$oles’ ComicSpace AICN Comics page here for an archive and more @$$y goodness.