Hey everyone. Capone in Chicago here.

The new Dane Cook-Jessica Alba R-rated romantic comedy will answer an important question in Hollywood this weekend: Can an adult-oriented comedy that does not have the names Judd Apatow or Seth Rogen connected to it in any way still be funny? The answer is categorically: No. From the editor of Showgirls and many a Brett Ratner film, Mark Helfrich, comes his first film as a director. GOOD LUCK CHUCK is a film about romance that doesn't know the first thing about the subject, and it also asks the question of all women: If you had to sleep with Dane Cook in order to meet the man of your dreams, would you? Don't answer that question, I don't want to know.

"Chuck" is Charlie Logan, a dentist who, at the age of 10, had a hex put on him by a girl who wanted to make out with him. Her rather complicated curse stipulated that, for the rest of his life, Charlie would have a lot of women fall in love with him but that the first guy that they met after dating him would be the man they would spend the rest of their lives with. His best friend and plastic surgeon (who seems to only do boob jobs), Stu (Dan Fogler, recently seen as the lead in BALLS OF FURY) encourages Chuck to take advantage of his lucky charm status and use his powers for the good of womankind. Gee thanks. At the wedding of one of his many exes, Charlie meets Cam (Alba), a klutzy penguin enthusiast and aquarium employee, who Charlie thinks might be "the one." As a result, he resists the overwhelming urge to sleep with her for fear that this will lead to her meeting someone else and breaking his alleged heart.

The biggest (but by no means only) difference between the Apatow comedies and GOOD LUCK CHUCK are the male and female leads. Charlie is by no means an outsider. He's good looking, successful and charming even without the hex. It's exactly the kind of appeal you'd expect from a guy like Cook. Also, despite her clumsy behavior, Alba is stunning to look at, even if she's not very funny. She has a slight gift for physical humor, but when a film has the R rating to expand its taste boundaries, why resort to PG-rated prat falls? Cook and Fogler certainly use and abuse their R-rated limits, and some of that made me laugh, but so much of this film plays it safe. But the biggest difference between Apatow films and this one are the conversations, between friends and between men and women. In KNOCKED UP and THE 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGIN, characters talk to each other like real people do, and that's what makes it funny. In GOOD LUCK CHUCK, it's all set-up and punchline, and it actually made me angry. It sounds so phony and stiff, even when the jokes are funny.

GOOD LUCK CHUCK is an ultimately lame and hopeless attempt to cash in on Hollywood having restored faith in four-letter words, but the humor featured here is strictly aimed at high school perverts and mental midgets. I'm not sold on Cook, Alba, or Fogler (especially Fogler) as actual forces of comedy or acting. As a result, I felt like I was watching an extended late-night comedy sketch, the kind that doesn't actually make you laugh. I guess the best thing I can say about this film is that it's better than Cook's EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH, and has Alba in her underwear in a couple scenes. If that's enough to get your ass in the theater, more power to you.

Capone